


The Fear of Falling Apart

by DarkHighness



Series: Just One Regret [2]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Eating Disorders, F/M, Homophobic Language, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Multi, Parenthood, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Sick Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 43
Words: 242,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25608862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkHighness/pseuds/DarkHighness
Summary: Life of the Urie family never went to plan. All they could do was hope for the best, but with an irreversible streak of hereditary bad luck, there wasn't anywhere else to turn.(Please note that this a repost from Wattpad. It was written over 4 years ago, so some information may not be accurate. Along those lines, this is a direct port and has not been edited. Both myself and and the cowriter, SercretJungle666, understand that some content of this work may be triggering, or hard to read. I think we all know how much people can grow in 4 years.)
Relationships: Sarah Orzechowski/Brendon Urie
Series: Just One Regret [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846072





	1. Prologue

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

I laughed slightly at the prospect, taking it as a light-hearted joke, but it dawned on me it might be true. “R-Really?” 

She nodded and handed me a pregnancy test. Sure enough, it was positive.

“I went to the doctor the other day. It’s certain.” She said with a smile, although I could see nerves eating away at her.

I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath in. “Wow…” I breathed.

“Congratulations!” Gerard exclaimed happily. “Wow! This is incredible news! Was this planned or…”

We shook our heads. “Not really.” I stated, before smiling. “I’m not against it though.” I wrapped Sarah in a hug.

We enjoyed each other’s embrace for a moment before turning to the three Urie children sitting at the table, every single one of their faces sollen.

“That’s four.” I chuckled slightly. “Isn’t that weird to think about?” 

Kaitlyn choked on a sob and ran away from the table.

“I’ll be back.” I promised before chasing after her.

I tried to open her door, only for it to appear locked. There wasn’t a lock on the door.

“Please let me in Kaitlyn. Let’s talk.” 

There was no response.

“Please little worm, let me in.” I practically begged.

Again, the only thing I got in return for my begging was silence.

I remembered the window on the other side of the house and quickly dashed around there.

I opened up the window with a bit of trouble and found her crying on her bed. The bookshelf was pushed up against the door, with the chair being used as a lever to hold it in place.

“Kaitlyn…” I stammered.

“Go talk to Sarah!” She sobbed.

I gently sat down next to her. “What’s wrong little worm?”

“Y-you’re going to i-ignore me!” 

“What? No, no, of course not. Never.” I assured.

“Y-yeah you will.” She sniffled. “I-Its what happened to o-one of my old foster families.”

“We’re not them Kaitlyn. We’re your real family. And we’ll never, ever, ever ignore you.”

“Y-You’re going to l-love them m-more.” 

“That’s not true either. You’re as much our kid as them.” I assured.

She shook her head. “I’m y-your friends k-kid, not y-yours. You d-don’t even have to l-love me!” 

“Family isn’t determined about who was given birth to by who. Family, Family is determined by who you love more than anything in the world. You’re my family Kaitlyn Urie, and I love you so much.”

She sniffled. “D-do you have any n-names in mind?” 

I chuckled. “Kaitlyn, that was the first time I’d heard about the baby too. I’ve literally known I’m going to have to parent a fourth kid for less than 10 minutes.”

“Are you excited?” She asked, wiping her eyes.

I shrugged. “I guess so.”

“Sorry for running off.” 

“It’s okay little worm.” I assured. “Let’s move this bookshelf, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

She helped me move the shelf from it’s spot back to the wall, and I opened the door and escorted her back to the dining room.

Sarah was nervously playing with the food on her plate. The entire table was silent.

“Sorry…” Kaitlyn mumbled as she sat back down.

“It’s alright. It wasn’t exactly light news to take in.” 

Kaitlyn just bit her lip and went back to her plate.

I thought of a way to lighten the situation. I ran into the backyard and found a water gun. I filled it up and started squirting everyone.

“BRENDON!” Sarah screamed, running away as fast as she could.

I squirted Gerard and he gave me the death stare before racing outside and getting another one. “It’s on Urie.” 

“Oh, it’s on Way. Kaitlyn! Nicole! I need backup!”

“Bandit! Lindsey!” Gerard called. Lindsey was already on it, in fact, she already had the hose. She squirted me. 

“Jeez that’s cold.” I laughed, running away.

Nicole filled up the super squirter. “Let’s get them!”

Kaitlyn had the watering jug we used on the garden and looked absolutely terrified.

We all ran around like idiots squirting each other for ages until we were too cold to continue. “I shotgun the first shower!” Nicole called, racing to the bathroom. I gave everyone else towels and blankets while I made hot drinks so we wouldn’t freeze.

Sarah helped me and cuddled with Jaxon, who seemed a little upset about not being able to participate in the whole ordeal.

I took all the drinks out and everyone was still laughing about it. 

“You want to have some Brendon cuddles Jax?” I asked, holding my hands out.

He shook his head and snuggled further into Sarah.

I frowned slightly before shrugging.

“He can sit with me if you want to go sit with your family Sarah.” Dr Jo offered.

“Do you want to go over there Jax?” Sarah asked.

He just shrugged glumly.

Sarah took him over to her and he just nodded off on the seat.

Dr Jo gently brushed some of his brown curls off his eyes. “He’s really cute.”

Sarah smiled and nodded. “He is very cute.” 

Dr Jo smiled and rocked him back and forth slightly. “I’ve got it from here. You guys can go over to the rest of everyone if you want.”

We walked back over to the group and continued random conversation. Some of it was about random memories, others about aspirations and some just random jokes, but we were all having a blast.

Nicole returned from the shower and Lindsey went next, considering she seemed to be the most affected by the cold.

Sarah was cuddling up to me as we all exchanged memories from trips we’d taken overseas.

“This is the best Christmas ever Bren.” Sarah whispered.

I nodded. “Definitely.” 

We probably sat there for an hour, just talking and laughing. Eventually Gerard and Lindsey and Bandit left for home, leaving just the Urie’s and Dr Jo.

“What do you guys want to do?” I asked.

“Can we watch a movie? I’m a bit tired.” Nicole asked.

I nodded. “Anything in particular?” 

“A christmas movie or something.” She smiled. “I love this. For my first Christmas, this has been incredible.”

“I’m glad.” Sarah smiled. “I’ve had a blast too.” 

“Yeah…” Kaitlyn agreed.

I put a random Christmas movie on and we all snuggled up in blankets and relaxed, enjoying the time we had together.

By the time it had finished, Kaitlyn and Nicole had fallen asleep, and Sarah looked like she was about to at any moment. I leaned back, ready to join the sleep session, before realisation hit.

“Weren’t we supposed to have Kaitlyn back by 5?!”

Sarah panicked and starting waking everyone up. “It’s like 7!” 

“Wh-what?” Kaitlyn mumbled drowsily.

“We’ve got to go back to the facility now bub.” 

I saw her face fall and tears well in her eyes. She tried to wipe them away and got up.

“P-Please don’t s-send me back!” She wailed.

“We don’t really have a choice. I’m sorry little worm.” I held her in a tight hug.

“P-Please!” She cried. “Please, I-I’ll do a-anything!”

“We have to talk to Indigo little worm. We can’t make the decisions.’’

Kaitlyn pushed herself away from me and raced out of the room.

“Kaitlyn, please! This isn’t helping!”

“I-I can’t go back!” She sobbed.

“You have to, I’m sorry I can’t change that. I don’t want you to leave either.”

“Let’s go grab your things bub.” Sarah said nervously.

She curled up against the wall. “I-I just got home! I-I don’t want to l-leave you guys!” She cried,

“Please Kaitlyn, please. It’ll be okay bub. Please. You’re only going to be there longer if you don’t co-operate.” Sarah pleaded.

“Th-that p-place is horrible and m-mean!” She wept.

“Kaitlyn…” Sarah sighed as she pulled her to her feet. “I’m sorry.”

“I-I’m never going to c-come back home…” She whispered.

“Of course you will little worm.” I assured.

“I-I’m going to b-be stuck there for s-so long.” She whimpered.

“Only if you don’t come back with us.” Sarah said, leading her towards the door.

Her tears were still falling heavily, but she walked out of the car and sobbed in the back seat.

I grabbed her little bag of things to take back and sat in the front while Sarah drove. Nicole and Jaxon were completely silent the whole time, leaving the only sound in the car to be Kaitlyn’s desperate, defeated cries.

When we actually arrived, Kaitlyn was panicking. She couldn’t bring herself to get out of the car.

Sarah and I did our best to try and coax her out with no success. In the end, Sarah carried Jaxon and I had to carry Kaitlyn in.

She clung desperately onto my shirt and cried into my chest. “P-Please don’t a-abandon me h-here D-Dad.”

“Never Kaitlyn. We’ll never abandon you.” I assured.

She took and deep breath and hid her face in my chest as we walked in. Indigo rushed over to us. “Thank god you’re here. I thought something had happened.”

Kaitlyn whimpered and snuggled further into my arms.

“We just completely lost track of time. We’re so sorry.” Sarah apologised.

“It’s alright. At least we’re all okay….I think.” She looked at Kaitlyn. “Everyone else is in the dining hall. I think Florence has saved some seats for all of you at your regular table.”

Kaitlyn coughed slightly and grabbed onto me, clearly not intending to let go. She was still crying lightly, though it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as before.

“Well, let’s go then.” I said, following Indigo. As we walked through the halls, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealously.

“This seems so much better then the place I was sent.” I murmured.

“Well it’s probably not as strict or stern as that place. It is for teenagers after all Bren.” Sarah whispered.

“Yeah, well, I wish I was sent here.” I grumbled.

“I d-don’t.” Kaitlyn whimpered quietly. “I-I hate it h-here.”

“This is a luxury resort compared to the place I was sent.” I murmured as we approached the dining hall.

“I-I’m sorry.” Kaitlyn whispered guiltily.

I sighed. “It’s okay little worm. I’m sorry for starting this conversation.”

Sarah led us all to the table and sat down. Kaitlyn was still holding onto me and whimpering slightly and nothing seemed to make her stop. 

“Hey Kaitlyn!” Another girl smiled, turning to face her. “How was your day?”

“F-fine.” She whispered.

“Hey, um, are you okay?” She asked.

She bit her lip and didn’t answer. She just buried her face into my shoulder. “P-please don’t leave.” She whimpered quietly.

I sighed and looked at Sarah for help. Sarah simply shrugged and resumed her conversation with Nicole.

A couple of staff members had a microphone and started addressing the crowd with the welcome’s and the merry christmas’s that were customary in this sort of setting. They then announced that dinner was being served.

“I-I’m not hungry.” Kaitlyn whispered.

They brought out massive big plates of food for everyone to help themselves. I ate quite a bit, as did Sarah, Nicole and Jax, but Kaitlyn just shook her head and waited for everyone to finish.

“You have to eat something little worm. Even if it’s just a little bit.”

She shook her head and slumped into the chair. 

Indigo walked over with a big smile on her face. “How’s everything?”

Kaitlyn put on a fake smile. “It’s great.”

Indigo sat down next to Sarah and started a conversation, while I returned to trying to get Kaitlyn to eat something.

“I-I already f-feel sick from l-lunch…”

“You hardly ate any lunch at all!”

“And breakfast…” She whispered.

“Kaitlyn, please. You really need to eat something little worm.” I begged.

She picked up a carrot stick and took a bite out of it before resting it on her plate. “There.” 

“Kaitlyn, if you eat at least half that plate, I’ll show you the special surprise I brought.” Indigo tried to bargain.

“I-It’s a lot though…” She stammered.

“Just try for us, okay? Your family came all the way here, let’s just try.”

I could tell Kaitlyn felt guilty now. She ate a little bit more as she held back tears.

“Thank you little worm.” I whispered as I gently rubbed her back.

She sniffled lightly as she put her fork down. “I-I’m sorry.”

“You ate half. I’m so proud right now. Thank you.” Indigo smiled.

“D-do I need to e-eat anymore?”

“Well, we’d like it if you ate more…” Sarah said.

Kaitlyn took a deep breath in and ate some more, almost finishing the plate even. 

I smiled and wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you.”

She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around. She sat like that for a little while in silence.

“Who’s ready for dessert?” A staff member called over the microphone as our plates were collected.

A lot of people cheered, including Jaxon who was bouncing excitedly on his seat.

“I d-don’t w-want any…” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“That’s alright.” I assured. “We can just talk if you want.”

“I-I’d like that.”

“Have you been doing much drawing while you’ve been here?”

She nodded. “Y-Yeah.”

I smiled. “That’s cool. Drawn anything particularly interesting?”

“You…”

I chuckled slightly. “I think you need a new model. I’m not the most fascinating or attractive man you’ll find.”

“How dare you say that!” One of the kids shouted from across the room. “You’re one of the most attractive men on this planet?”

Everyone in the hall turned to face me. I chuckled awkwardly and Sarah was just losing it beside me. 

“Who the hell are you anyway?!” Someone asked from the other side of the hall.

“That’s Brendon Urie! The most beautiful man on this planet!” The kid called back.

A parent came up to me. “What have you been doing to my child and why the hell does he know your name?!” She asked angrily.

I cowered away slightly. “N-Nothing! I-I’ve never met them b-before!”

“Mom!” The kid snapped. “He’s a celebrity! He’s the lead singer of Panic! At The Disco. That’s how I know him. Leave the beautiful man alone!”

“So you can sing?” 

“I-I, um, I guess so.” I stammered.

“Then I suppose you can put on a show for us. Go on, there’s a microphone up there.”

Everybody watched as I stood up and slowly made my way to the microphone. I racked my brain for a song to sing, and after no success I just addressed the crowd.

“A-Any requests?”

“Sins!” The kid called out. “Everyone will know it!”

“O-Okay. Um.” I cleared my throat. “ _Oh. Well Imagine. As I’m pacing the pews in a church corridor…_ ”

A few kids jumped up and came closer and started singing with me. It was a very odd situation to try to comprehend. 

The angry mother was now looking at me with a small smile on her face.

I picked up a bit of confidence by the chorus. “ _I chimed in with a haven’t you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door, no. It’s much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.”_

Despite nothing making sense, I switched into full on concert mode and put everything into the performance,

When I finished with a grand backflip, the hall burst into applause. Kaitlyn and Sarah were cheering for me, and the kid that had first called to me ran up and snapped a selfie before I could even react.

“Hopefully you enjoyed that.” I chuckled slightly into the microphone.

Indigo walked up and took the microphone from me. “Well, that was unplanned, but thank you for that Brendon.”

I shrugged and walked to go sit back down. I drank a tonne of water to try to recover from the spontaneous performance.

“That was awesome Daddy!” Jaxon grinned.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” I breathed. “I sure did.”

“Everyone enjoyed that Bren.” Sarah grinned. “That was awesome.”

“I underestimated how much I loved performing. The break was killing me.” I ran my hands through my hair, trying to fix it the best I could. “Note to self, don’t spend ages doing your hair if you’re going to do a backflip.”

Nicole giggled. “You need a stronger hairgel.”

I shrugged. “I don’t care that much. Okay, maybe I do.” I chuckled.

“Bathrooms are over there.” Kaitlyn gestured. “There’s a mirror in there.”

I shook my head. “If I spend ages fixing Sarah will probably just mess it up again.” I joked. “And besides, I’m too lazy for that.”

Nicole got up and stood behind me and started playing with my hair.

“You having fun there?” I asked, looking up. 

She nodded. “You’re gonna look so cute with braids.”

I chuckled. “If you say so. Is it long enough for that?” I asked.

“Yep!” She giggled. “And I’ve got some little rubber bands too, to hold it in place.”

“It seems like you’ve planned this all out.”

She giggled again and went back to braiding my hair.

“Looks great Dad.” Kaitlyn giggled.

“When is dessert going to be here?” Jaxon asked.

“I don’t know bud. Soon, hopefully.” I answered.

Soon enough, they brought out a plate of cheesecake for everyone who wanted some.

Sarah helped him eat his dessert while Nicole finished my hair. “How do you girls have the patience for this stuff?”

Nicole laughed. “Well, considering that I haven’t actually had a haircut in 3 years, I’ve had practice.”

“I’ll have to practise. I’ll be the most stylish man ever.”

“You certainly will.” Sarah chuckled.

“I’m bored Mommy!” Jaxon whined.

Sarah pulled him onto her lap. “Do you like Daddy’s new hair?”

“It’s weird.” He stated, touching my hair. “I don’t know.”

I pouted. “Why not? It’s awesome.” I whipped the braids around. “This should be my new look. So hip. So fresh.” I did fake model poses. “What do you think Sarah?”

“I think you should be on the cover of a fashion magazine.” She giggled.

“Call Vogue.” I flipped my hair around more. “I’m enjoying this way too much.”

Nicole lost it and started laughing uncontrollably.

“I shouldn’t be let out of the house.” I laughed. 

Someone came and gave us some more cheesecake, much to Jaxon’s delight.

“This is the weirdest, yet the best Christmas ever.” I grinned.

“It’s certainly been eventful.” Nicole chuckled.

“What do you think Kaitlyn?”

“I-It’s been really nice.” She sighed happily, leaning on my shoulder.

“That’s good to hear.” I smiled.

“Well, it’s time for families to head home.” Indigo said over the microphone. “Thank you all for coming in today.”

Kaitlyn frowned. “Sucks you have to leave now though.”

I hugged her tightly. “We’ll be back on Sunday.”

She smiled slightly. “I’ll be waiting.”

Indigo came over. “Are you guys coming on Sunday?”

“We definitely are.” Sarah confirmed.

“That’s great.” Indigo smiled. “Sorry about the lady before Brendon, by the way.”

“It’s fine.” I shrugged.

“I look forward to seeing you guys again.”

Sarah and I hugged Kaitlyn again before we had to go. She started to get a bit emotional, but with promises that we’d be back in a few days, she seemed to be okay.

After our goodbyes, we headed out to the car and Jaxon was almost asleep already.

“Christmas really tired you out, huh bud?” I asked as I buckled him in.

He nodded and yawned. “It was fun though.”

I smiled. “It really was.”


	2. Chapter 1 - Disequilibrium

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

“I’m so excited for my two big girl’s first day of school!” Sarah giggled as she positioned me and Nicole together for a photo.

We both smiled and after the photo, we turned to each other and shared an uneasy glance. Nicole seemed more excited than me though.

“You’ll take care of each other, won’t you?” Brendon asked. “You’re in the same class, so I’m assuming you’ll stick together…”

Because of Nicole’s grades, the school had suggested that she repeat a year. She didn’t seem too affected by the whole thing, and it was good for me because it meant that I’d always have someone around.

“Of course Dad. We’ve only been over this a million times already.” Nicole answered.

He just smiled. “I know. I just want to check that you have the message.”

“Now, do we have everything?” Sarah asked.

I nodded and lifted my school bag up off of the floor. “Yeah, all packed.”

“Okay. Now, if there are any emergencies, call me, okay?”

Nicole waved her phone. “Again, we’ve gone over this several million times. Kaitlyn will take her medication at lunch, if anything goes wrong I will call you.”

“Alright, since you know everything already, smarty-pants, we’ll stop bugging you now.”

“I’ll see you when you get home!” Jaxon smiled, holding his arms out for a hug.

I bent down and hugged him. “Be good for Mommy and Daddy, alright?”

He nodded. “I will Kaity.”

“Good boy.” I ruffled his hair. 

Sarah bent down and picked him up into her own arms. “Well, I suppose Bren will drive you two now. Stay safe!”

We both raced out to the car, Nicole beating me to the passenger seat.

“Meanie.” I pouted as I sat in the back.

“What do you two want to listen to on the way?”

“Just the radio.” Nicole shrugged. “Your song will probably come on again.”

He turned the radio on and made an effort to sing obnoxiously to every song.

“Daaaaaaaaaaad!” Nicole whined. “We’re almost there!”

He looked at her. “Are you worried I’ll embarrass you?!”

“Yes!” She countered. “It’s our first day, come on!”

“In that case…” He mumbled, his face falling. The expression only lasted a minute before he wound down all the windows and turned the music up, in an effort for everyone to stare.

And to make matters worse, his song came on. Nicole buried her face in her hands. “DAD!”

“THIS IS MY SONG!” He called to a random group of kids on the street.

I was laughing uncontrollably in the back. There was an entire group of kids who were obviously fans and came towards the car. 

“Gotta blast!” Brendon wound up all the windows and went a little over the speed limit until we got to the drop off area.

“Is it safe yet?” Nicole mumbled, although her voice was muffled by her sweater that she’d used to cover her face.

I giggled. “Well we’re here now. Dad, you should totally walk us in!” I suggested.

“NOPE!” Nicole yelped, scrambling to get out of the car.

Nicole was already through the school gate. “Bye Dad.” I smiled, getting out.

He smiled slightly. “Have a good day little worm. I love you.”

I waved goodbye before running to catch up with Nicole. “Jeez you get away fast Nic.”

“He’s such a dad about these things.” She chuckled slightly as she straightened her bag.

I shrugged. “It’s just what Dad does, I suppose.” 

She nodded. “We have to head to the office to get our timetables. What electives did you choose again?”

“Basically all the art stuff.” I answered. “You?”

“All the tech stuff.” She replied.

“Cool.” I smiled. “Now let’s find the office.”

We ended up walking the halls for quite a while with no success.

“Let’s just ask someone.” I sighed, cursing my bag for being so darn heavy.

Nicole walked up to a random girl. “Excuse me, but we’re new here. Can you direct us to the office?”

She smiled and pointed down the hall. “Go all the way down then turn left. There should be a sign.”

Nicole smiled. “Thanks for your help. We would have been walking these halls for days!”

She giggled. “It’s fine. Good luck!”

We said goodbye and started following her directions. Nicole leaned in close. “She was really cute.”

I shrugged. “She was eh, in my opinion.”

“Well, I thought she was pretty cute.” Nicole remarked as she turned left.

“You’ll have to talk to her some more.”

Nicole shook her head. “Social suicide Kaitlyn. Anybody finds out I’m not straight… I’m dead.”

“If you say so…”

We reached the office and opened the door to go inside. I let Nicole lead the conversation while I stood quietly to the side.

A woman handed us our timetables and directed us to our homeroom.

Nicole thanked the woman and we followed the maps to the room. There were about 25 or so kids standing around the room, waiting to be let in.

“Probably a good time to mention I hate new people.” I mumbled. “Not that you didn’t know that.”

“They won’t be new for long. Let’s go speak to them.”

“Wait! Nicole!”

Before I knew it, she’d dragged me into a conversation with two girls standing a little away from the crowd.

“Um, hi?” One of the girls stared at us. I tried to walk away but Nicole held my wrist in her hand.

“Hi!” Nicole smiled. “How are you?”

“We’re good, I guess?” They answered. “And you are?

She chuckled. “Right. Sorry, I forgot. I’m Nicole, and this is Kaitlyn. We’re new and were sort of looking for someone to talk to.”

“I see. Well you seem pretty cool. Not sure about your little friend though.”

“Kaitlyn’s, um, just a little shy. She’s really cool when you get to know her.” Nicole nudged me with her elbow.

I remained silent, feeling this was a horrible idea.

“Well,  _ Nicole _ , since you're new you’re probably going to be lonely. Want to sit with us?” They asked.

“Sure.” She smiled.

The bell rang and everyone rushed into the classroom. I went to sit next to Nicole but one of the girls shot me a dirty look so I deemed it better to just sit alone.

The corner in the back was right next to the radiator, so I was nice and warm at least. The teacher entered and stood at the whiteboard, scanning the room and looking at all the faces. I sunk into my seat a little.

“It’s good to see you guys again.” He smiled. “Looks like we have some new people too.”

“How many sir?” A boy asked from the front.

“2, I think.” He answered.

That meant Nicole and I were the only new kids. I just hoped he wouldn’t point us out.

“Since I myself hated coming up in front of the class, I’ll leave you be, but welcome.” He grinned. “I’m Mr Dennison.”

He coughed slightly and collected some envelopes from the desk. “I have your locker combinations here. Who wants to hand these out?”

A girl at the front put her hand up. “I will!”

“Thanks Jess.” Mr Dennison said as he passed her the box to hand out. “Now, as is the tradition in my class, let’s start the new year with a game before you all head to maths.”

“What game?” The same kid from before asked.

“I thought we could start with a game of celebrity heads.” He smiled. “I need 4 people to guess.”

Almost everyone’s hands went up except for mine.

Mr Dennison looked around the room and pointed at three boys in the front who didn’t have their hands up, and then at me. “You four.”

I shook my head nervously. ‘Please, someone else.’ I mouthed.

He beckoned me over. “Come on, everyone wants you to play.”

I gulped before standing up and walking to him. 

“Now, you four, go wait outside while we decide your celebrities, and then we’ll come and get you when we’re ready.”

We all walked outside. The boys sat in a group and I was left alone, as usual. It was peaceful really, which wasn’t too bad, I suppose. I could hear some murmuring from in the class but nothing clear enough to understand.

After a couple of minutes we were brought back inside and sat down in front of the whiteboard. Someone wrote a name behind our heads but we weren’t allowed to look.

“Alright, Josh, you go first. Ask a yes or no question.” Mr Dennison said.

“Am I a girl?”

“Yes.” The crowd told him in unison.

“Alright. You get another question.” 

“Am I american?” He asked.

“No.” Everyone answered.

He groaned. “This is impossible.”

“Kaitlyn! Your go!”

I froze. “O-Okay.” I squeaked.

“Your question?”

“A-am I a g-girl?” I stammered.

“Nope.” Everyone answered.

I bit my lip. “A-Am I an a-actor?”

Everyone shook their head.

“Alright, Samuel, your turn.”

He went through all the boys before it was my turn again.

“Um...am I a musician?”

“Yes.” Everyone confirmed.

“Do I play an instrument?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Am I, like, currently relevant? Like, on the radio?”

“Yes again.”

“Um….am I Ed Sheeran?”

“No.” The crowd chorused.

I tried to look at Nicole, who looked away. It only then became obvious who I was.

“Do I share a last name with this person?”

Everyone nodded. “Sure do.”

“Am I Brendon Urie?”

“Yay!” Everyone cheered. 

“Alright, alright, calm down. Kaitlyn won, but we need to finish these other ones too.”

Nicole gave me a smile as I walked back to my desk in the corner. I tried to ignore her and sat down as fast as possible.

None of the boys ended up guessing and we had to stop so we could get to maths.

“Alright. Remember to come back at the end of the day for roll call! Also, Urie’s, can you stay behind for a minute please?” Mr Dennison called.

The class filed out and Nicole and end walked up to his desk. 

“Are we in trouble? I-I’m sorry!” I panicked.

“No, No, I just wanted to apologise. Two new girls, I didn’t really have a way of knowing who was who, and considering that I figured asking you to do an introduction would be horrible, I just made a wild guess. Sorry Kaitlyn, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that.”

I looked down. “I-It’s fine…” I whispered. “I-I shouldn’t h-have made a b-big deal about it.”

“Well, look. I won’t call you up in future. You two should probably run along to maths now. Sorry about all this again.”

“It’s fine.” Nicole smiled, taking my hand and practically dragging me out of the classroom. 

“H-How long until we c-can go home?” I asked,

“We haven’t even had a class yet Kaitlyn! Hurry up, we have to catch up with Beth and Josie.”

“Y-You go…” I stammered.

“You have maths! I have maths! We have to go to maths!”

“I know, just go. I’ll catch up.” 

“Kaitlyn, I have to make sure you get there.” She groaned and slowed her pace. “If we’re late, this is your fault.”

“P-Please, just go so y-you aren’t late.”

“I’m not leaving you Kaitlyn.” Nicole said firmly. “You can’t skip the first class on the first day. We’re nearly there.”

“I-I don’t w-want to skip class, I-I just-” I started crying. “P-Please just go.”

Nicole stopped in her tracks and sighed. “Kaitlyn, why are you crying?”

“B-Because I’m overwhelmed! I-I know I’m p-pathetic and stupid and all that.” I breathed.

Nicole pulled a tissue from her bag and handed it to me. “Wipe your face.”

I wiped away the tears and put the tissue in a nearby bin. 

“Now, what I’m about to say is going to seem really mean, but I need you to listen.” She said firmly.

I hesitantly nodded. 

“Kaitlyn, I understand that you have some genuine trouble with things. I get that. But Mom and Dad wrap you up in blankets and try to keep you from everything every single time that something happens. Look, I’m not going to do that. I know this is hard right now, but we’re going to maths. And I don’t care if you don’t want to. It’s called tough love. If nobody ever pushes you to do these things, you’re never going to get any better. So we’re going. Let’s go.”

She grabbed my wrist and pulled me down the hall the rest of the way until we reached the classroom.

I was shaking slightly as we reached the door, but I tried to hide it and hoped the panic would die out soon. We walked into the classroom and Nicole reunited with her friends, leaving me defenseless. I just hoped I could go the whole lesson unnoticed and not cause a commotion, like always.

The teacher started giving the lesson and I did my best to take all the notes down, although I noticed my handwriting, which normally looked neat and tidy, was completely off due to the horrible shaking of my hands.

I threw a note at Nicole in a desperate grab for help.

“What is this?!” The teacher said as she intercepted it.

“A-A note.” I whimpered.

“Read it miss!” One of Nicole’s friends sneered. “Read it!”

I rested my head on the desk and cried. 

“Alright, it says,  _ I really need help Nikki. It's getting bad. _ And it’s all written in appalling handwriting might I add.”

Nicole bit her lip.

“Back to work everyone!” The teacher snapped, before placing the note back on my desk.

The crying got worse and I felt helpless. I’d even giving up taking notes as I couldn’t read any of it.

The teacher nudged the back of my seat. “You can go sit outside for a bit.”

I didn’t even hesitate in getting up and hurrying outside. I sat outside the classroom and just tried to focus on regulating my breathing and calming down.

About 10 minutes later, the teacher came outside and handed me a piece of paper and my bag.

“Go down the hall. Two lefts and a right. Then you’re at the school counsellor's office. He knows you’re coming.”

I nodded. “Th-thank you.”

“I’ll let your sister know.” She said. “I should get back in. Don’t hesitate to ask for directions if you get lost.”

“O-okay.” I stammered, getting up to start walking.

“Bye Kaitlyn.”

I gave her a small wave goodbye before walking down the halls, following her directions. I found myself in front of and office and I hoped it was the right one. I knocked lightly on the door.

A young man with thick black glasses and a skinny tie opened the door. “You must be Kaitlyn.”

I nodded. “Y-yeah…” I whispered nervously.

“Come on in.” He welcomed, moving aside to let me in.

I walked into the office and sat down, still shaking slightly. “S-Sorry for inconveniencing you.”

He chuckled slightly as he sat down. “You’re not inconveniencing me. This is why I’m here.”

“As you can see, I’m clearly having a great first day.”

“Why would you say that?” He asked. “By the way, I should probably introduce myself. In the halls you have to call me Mr Jerfer, but in here I tend to go by Derek.”

I nodded. “As for my day, I was called on in homeroom which freaked me out a bit and I felt incredibly nervous before my first class. In that class, I tried to give my sister a note because I needed help and then the teacher took it and read it aloud and I just felt horrible.”

He nodded. “Well, I can assure you that you won’t be called on in class again. Why were you so nervous about your first class?”

“I was just feeling overwhelmed and like I was dragging my sister down and I was still on edge because of the calling thing.” I explained.

“Why were you feeling overwhelmed?”

“I just haven’t been in an environment like this for so long so I was having trouble adapting to it.”

He nodded. “You’re welcome to sit here until your next class.”

“Thanks.” I smiled gratefully.

“Is there anything else you want to discuss?”

“Do you know how I can try to not start panicking every five seconds?”

He thought for a minute. “Have you heard of grounding?”

I shook my head. “No, what is it?”

“So basically, whenever you feel yourself start to panic, you need to go through your five senses. First you name 5 things you can see, next 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste. It’ll bring you back to earth, and I’ve never heard of a time where it hasn’t worked.”

“I’ll try it if I can remember.” I vowed.

“Let’s practice.” Derek said. “What are 5 things you can see in here?”

“Well you, the rug, the bookshelf, the window and the picture on the wall there.”

“4 things you can hear?”

“Um….I don’t know…”

“Listen. What can you hear?”

“Um...you speaking, me speaking, the kids outside and the fan making noise.”

“3 things you can feel?”

“My clothes, my bag...my hand?”

“2 things you can smell?”

I took a whiff of the air. “Dust? And um, your cologne.”

“One thing you can taste?”

“The orange juice I had this morning?”

Derek smiled. “Good job.”

“It was just naming things though...nothing great.”

“It’s grounding. In a attack, all you need to do is name the things. I promise, it’ll work wonders. Here, this’ll remind you.”

He handed me a business card with the steps written on them.

“Uh...thanks I guess.”

“Your next class is probably going to start soon. Are you alright to get yourself there?” He asked.

“I should be. Can you give me directions?”

“What class do you have?”

I pulled out my timetable. “Um...Art.”

“That’s nice and easy. Just when you get out here, turn right and keep going until you reach the last classroom in the hall.”

“O-Oh, okay.” I nodded. “That seems easy. I, um, I guess I’ll get going then.”

“Alright. Goodbye Kaitlyn.”

I walked out of his office and found myself at the art room after following his directions. There were a few kids already there and a few more coming towards me. One faster than the rest.

“Kaitlyn! Oh my god, you gave me a heart attack!” Nicole wrapped me in a hug.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” 

“I know, I know, I was just so worried.” She said, tightening the hug. “Thank god you’re okay.”

“Did you write everything from the class down?”

She nodded. “You can copy it out when we get home.”

“Thanks Nicole. Where are you heading?”

“Coding.” She said. “It’s just down the hall. When this class is finished, just wait for me here and we’ll head to lunch together, okay?”

I nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you then.”

She gave me one last hug before walking off with one of her friends. The other just walked over to me.

“So I guess we’re in the same art class then.”

“I guess so.” I said unsurely. 

She watched Nicole walk down the hall. “You know, for sisters, you two look completely different.”

I bit my lip. “Yeah…”

She shrugged. “I suck at genetics. Anyway, where did you go in maths? I saw you leave, but I didn’t see you come back.”

“I...uh…..I went to the councillor’s office…” I mumbled, slightly embarrassed.

She shrugged. “That’s cool. I won’t pry.”

“Thanks.” I smiled gratefully.

A woman arrived and let us into the classroom. Once we had all sat down in our rough friendship groups, she frowned.

“We’re going to do a mix up.” She announced.

I froze, but tried to stay calm. I just hoped my fear wasn’t evident. As far as I knew, no one could tell.

She started making people swap seats. Thankfully, I wasn't asked to move, but everyone at my table was different now. Everyone just looked around awkwardly and tried to make eye contact with their friends across the room.

“Today’s nice and easy. You can draw whatever you want, just so I can get to know your art style.”

Everyone opened their sketch books and grabbed whatever materials they wanted. I decided to do another portrait of Dad, considering that I thought the ones I drew of him were my best work. A couple of the people at my table decided to try some watercolours, while the boy next to me decided he was going to make a comic strip.

Once again, while I was drawing, people were watching me. For some reason everyone at the table became fixated on my artwork so I ended up trying to hide it so there wasn’t so much attention on me.

“That’s cool.” The boy beside me smiled. “Brendon Urie, right?”

“Yeah. Does it look like him?” 

“It honestly looks like a picture of him.” He said. “You’re awesome.”

“Thanks.” I smiled.

He held his hand out to me. “I’m Byron.”

I took his hand. “Kaitlyn.”

He smiled. “Nice to meet you Kaitlyn the awesome sketcher.”

“Same to you Byron, the compliment master.”

He chuckled slightly and looked down at his comic. “Do you think we’ll get marked on these?”

I shrugged. “I hope not.”

“Me too.” He breathed as he rubbed something out.

“I’m collecting in 5 minutes everyone.”

“Crap.” Byron muttered as he rushed to fill in the facial features of his characters.

“You’re really good at comics. That looks awesome.”

“It would look better if I had more time.” He muttered as he filled in the speech bubbles with some sort of pun.

“Comics are so cool. I know absolutely nothing about them but my dad’s friend, Gerard has me fascinated.”

“I’ll lend you some.” Byron said as he blew some eraser shavings off his book. “My Mom says I need to cut down my collection anyway. It’s too big to fit in my room. Marvel or DC?”

“I really have no clue what on earth that means.”

“About me having too many comic books or the companies?”

“The companies, I guess.” I mumbled, embarrassed.

“Right. So there are two main companies with two universes for both, and different characters. So, um, Batman, Superman and The Flash are all DC comics, whereas Spiderman, Iron Man and the Avengers are all marvel comics. Are you following me so far?”

I nodded. “From what I’ve heard, I’ll have to say DC?”

He smiled. “Good choice. I read both, but DC is my favourite.”

“Cool.” I smiled.

“Alright everyone, bring your work up to me.”

I reluctantly grabbed my picture of Brendon and walked with Byron to the teacher. We placed our books on the pile before walking back to our seats.

“Do you like movies?” I asked.

He nodded. “A bit more than the average person.”

I giggled. “Good to know.”

“Now, today we’re going to talk about your assessment task for this term.” The teacher said as she turned on her projector.

Byron sighed. “What’s the point of assessing art anyway?” He whispered.

The teacher smiled. “Good point Byron. Truthfully, if I could, I would give you all A’s for your art. But unfortunately, that’s not how the school system works so I sort of have to give you a grade on your technical skill and ability to interpret meaning.”

“Alright, what do we have to do?”

“Well, the task this term is to create a piece based on ‘Life’s A Beach’. You’ll have all term to work on this, so I do expect some good work from you talented bunch. Also, the best 3 pieces will be selected to enter this competition on behalf of the school. And if your piece gets into the finals, you’ll be invited on a school trip to go to the gallery in New York where your piece will be displayed, and the winner of the competition will be announced. Any questions?”

Everyone shook their heads.

“Good.” She smiled. “I’m coming around with butchers paper. You and your table can create an ideas board based on the topic.”

Once we had the paper, we all started drawing things and writing ideas down.

Byron was off drawing a mind map in one corner, and had somehow gone from beach to sand to hourglass to sands of time to dirt to mud to bricks to wall to Donald Trump.

“I think I’ve gone off topic…”

I giggled slightly, hopefully unnoticed and stared at my blank area.

“This is hard because I haven’t actually been to the beach before.” I pouted.

“You should get your parents to take you.”

I nodded. “They said they would, it’s just a hassle with everything going on at my place.”

“I’m sure you’ll work something out.”

I nodded. “They won’t say no if it’s for research for an assignment.”

“Alright, the bell is going to ring soon. Bring your papers up.”

Byron took the paper up for our group and I packed my materials up and shoved them in my bag. I hoped I wouldn’t have to wait too long for Nicole to come and find me.

Byron came out and found me wandering around, waiting. 

“You lost?”

“My sister is supposed to come and find me and we were going to eat together.” I explained. “I don’t really know the way around this place, so I guess you could also say I’m a bit lost.”

“Well if you’re waiting, I’ll wait with you so you aren’t alone.”

I smiled slightly. “Thanks. You don’t have to do this.”

He shrugged. “I’ve got nowhere better to be.”

We stood there for a good 10 minutes, and Nicole was nowhere in sight.

“Are you sure she said to meet here?” Byron asked.

I nodded. “She probably forgot about me and ran off.”

“Well, do you want to come and sit with my group in the lunch room? You’re pretty cool.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

He smiled and we started walking down the hall towards the lunch room. “So what sort of things do you like to do?”

I shrugged. “Draw, sing, muck around with Dad. Nothing too interesting.”

He raised one eyebrow. “So you sing.”

“I try to?”

“You’ll have to sing to me sometime.”

“Maybe…” I mumbled.

“I think you’d be a good singer. You have a pretty voice.” He grinned.

I shook my head. “I’m horrible, especially compared to Dad.”

He shook his head. “I bet you’re awesome. Absolutely amazing. Voice of an angel!”

I giggled. “If you say so.” 

We walked to the cafeteria and sure enough, Nicole was sitting with her friends.

“I’ll be back Byron. I need to talk to my sister.”

He nodded. “My table is just over there.” He pointed to a table where 2 other boys and a girl were sitting.

I nodded before walking over to Nicole. Her friends honestly intimidated me slightly. They just seemed mean.

“What do you want?!” One of them spat.

“C-Can I just talk to you Nicole?” I asked nervously.

She sighed and got up, taking me away from the table. “You can’t go around clinging to me Kaitlyn! It’s embarrassing!”

“Y-You said you’d come a-and get me but y-you didn’t!”

“Well I’m sorry I had friends I wanted to talk to! You can’t keep relying on people Kaitlyn!”

“I’m sorry I trusted you.” I mumbled.

“Look, there’s your crazy people pills. Go find someone else to annoy.” She stated, handing me a small bottle.

I sniffled and took the bottle. “B-Bye. S-Sorry…”

She turned and sat back with her friends without another word.

“What a jerk.”

I jumped in surprise to see Byron standing behind me.

“W-what are you doing h-here?”

“I just saw you were upset so I came over to investigate. Your sister is a jerk, no offence.”

“She’s never usually that mean.” I mumbled.

“Well, that’s high school for you. It changes people. Let’s just go sit down.”

“I-I…” I took a deep breath in. “I m-might just go the c-councillor’s o-office…”

Byron looked me for a moment. “Are you okay, Kaitlyn the awesome sketcher?”

“I-I don’t kn-know…” I whimpered.

“I’ll walk you to the councillor’s office.” He said, following me out of the lunch room.

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t m-meet your friends…”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me. You’ll probably meet them some other time.”

We got to the office and I knocked lightly on the door. 

“Come in.” Derek called.

Byron gave me a final smile. “If you come out, we’ll be in the lunch room. I guess I’ll see you around, Kaitlyn the Awesome Sketcher.”

I nodded. “I guess I’ll see you around also.” 

I went into the room and immediately felt horrible again.

“Hey Kaitlyn. What’s up?”

I took a deep breath in. “It just, people being mean and I can’t take it.” I mumbled.

“Come sit down. Who’s being mean and what did they say?”

I sat down on the chair. “It’s just my sister and she only cares about her friends and well she called my medication ‘crazy people pills.’” 

“I see.” He murmured.

“I just sort of want to go home.”

Derek shook his head. “I’m afraid you can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you can’t miss school without a legitimate reason. And I’m sorry, but your sister being mean to you doesn’t count.”

I sighed. “Then what am I supposed to do? She’s in basically every single one of my classes.”

“The best I can recommend is to just not talk to her and sit away from her.”

I sniffled. “And that’s the best advice you can give?”

He nodded. “That’s the best advice anyone can give. Just don’t talk to her for the rest of the day, and when you get home, you need to tell your parents about the situation so that they can sort it out for the two of you.”

I nodded. “Th-thanks.” 

“Lunch is almost over.” He stated.

I frowned. “I suppose that means I have to go to class. Do you have water so I can take my medication?”

He nodded and pointed to a water fountain in the corner.

I got a cup of water and downed the pills quickly so I wouldn’t drive myself crazy thinking about them. 

“What do you have now?” He asked.

I pulled out my timetable. “English, I think.”

“Do you need directions?”

I nodded slightly. “If it’s not a problem…”

“Just go down the hall, turn right and the rooms are on the left side of the corridor.”

“Thanks. Hopefully I don’t get lost.”

“If you get lost, just come back here and I’ll show you where to go.” He said.

I shook my head. “I won’t inconvenience you anymore.”

“You’re not inconveniencing me, this is literally what I get paid to do.”

“Yeah, but I’ve already come in twice today, and there’s still a tonne of the day left.”

“Kaitlyn, you can come in here as much as you’d like to. I sit around in this office waiting for people, talking to others when they come in is quite a blessing, actually.”

“You’ll learn to hate me.” I assured.

He chuckled and shook his head. “Have some faith Kaitlyn. Anyway, you probably should be off. Have fun in english.”

I frowned. “I’ll try…”

He gave me a wave before I walked out of his office and into the corridor.

I got to what assumed to be the English classroom and started freaking out when Nicole approached me.

“You took your medication, right?” She whispered so nobody would hear.

I nodded nervously. “I-I took them when I w-went to see D-Derek.”

She just sighed. “Look, I’m sorry for being a cow. They were watching and, well, this is the first ever chance I’ve had to be part of the cool group. It wasn’t fair, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it.”

I started crying slightly, remembering what she said. “J-just go t-talk to your friends.”

“Kaitlyn, please. I’m  _ sorry _ !” She begged.

“I-It hurt! It h-hurt so much!” I sobbed.

She went in to hug me but I shook her off. “L-Leave me a-alone!”

She bowed her head and walked away, giving me some space. I wiped away my tears and tried to appear completely fine going into class.

“Kaitlyn the awesome sketcher!” I heard Byron say as he walked over to me.

I smiled slightly. “Hi Byron.”

“Come sit over here.” He smiled, leading me over to a table. “This is Charlie, Erin and Levi.”

“Hi…” I introduced quietly.

“Guys, this is Kaitlyn. The one who’s awesome at sketching.” He introduced, taking a seat.

I blushed slightly before sitting down and essentially sprawling my equipment over the table. I tried to contain it all but deemed it useless.

The girl, Erin, picked up a pencil that had rolled over to her. “Here.”

“Thanks.” I smiled slightly.

The teacher started talking so we all looked over at her for the instructions on what we’d be doing.

“Alright guys, today we’re just going to settle in with some creative writing. There’ll be a picture on the board soon and you have to write a short story based on it.”

“I wish Florence was here.” I murmured.

“Who’s Florence?” Byron asked,

“Oh, um, a friend of mine. She’s just a really good writer.” I explained.

“That’s cool. I’m sure you’re a good writer too.”

I shook my head. “I much prefer to draw.”

He shrugged. “You’ll still probably be better than me.”

The teacher put up a picture of a homeless man standing next to a business man up. “Here’s your prompt. You can get laptops from the back of the class to use if you prefer to type.”

I went to get a laptop, along with many others and ended up getting pushed right to the back and inevitably didn’t end up getting one. I took a deep breath in a walked to my seat, frustrated that I’d have to write by hand.

“There’s another laptop trolley over there.” Byron directed. “If you want one.”

“O-Oh, right.” I flustered as I grabbed one of the other laptops. “Thanks.”

He grinned. “Anytime.”

I turned the computer on and fished out the piece of paper with my school login on it. After signing in, I opened a blank word document and stared at it as I tried to figure out what I would write.

“This is hard.” Byron sighed in defeat. “I’ve got nothing.”

“Me neither.” I mumbled.

“Make sure it’s finished and handed to me by the end of the lesson.” The teacher instructed.

“Dammit.” Byron muttered as he started typing.

I got a random idea, one that’d surely go off track but I just started typing, hoping to have something by the end to present to the teacher,

“What are you writing about?” Byron asked.

I shrugged. “It started as a story but now it’s more of a poem so I don’t know.”

“She didn’t say story, she just said creative writing. You should be good.”

“How are you going?”

He considered. “I think it’s going okay. The businessman finds the homeless man’s dog. That’s as far as I’ve gotten.”

“Sounds cool.” I smiled.

He shrugged and continued typing. “I always make these too long.”

“Well it’s better than not writing enough I suppose. How strict are they with length limits?”

“It’s normally 10% either way leniency, but I always go over.”

I nodded. “Sorry for all the cluelessness. I’m still trying to get used to everything.”

Byron smiled. “Dude, it’s your first day. It’s fine.”

“I know, I just don’t want to be annoying.”

“You’re not annoying.” Erin assured.

I forced a small smile. “That’s good, I suppose.”

“15 minutes!” The teacher called.

“Oh god.” I mumbled, frantically typing away.

Everyone worked in silence for the last 15 minutes as they frantically tried to finish up their work.

“Done.” Byron sighed, slumping back in his seat.

“I’m so close.” I murmured, quickly typing the last line.

“5 minutes! Print it and hand it in if you’re done. If it doesn’t have a name on it, it doesn’t count!”

I quickly typed my name of the bottom of the document. 

“Can you help me print?”

Byron took my computer and did something. “Let’s go get it from the printer.”

“W-where’s the printer?” I asked nervously.

“I’ll show you. It’s just in the room next door.” Byron explained, getting up from his seat.

I followed him into the next room and he handed me the papers. “Thanks.”

He collected his own papers and stapled all 10 of them together.

We took it up to the teacher’s desk before sitting back down at our seats.

“We did it.” Byron smiled at me.

“Yeah.” I smiled slightly.

“What do you have next?” He asked.

I checked my timetable. “Graphic design.”

He nodded. “Do you need help getting there?”

“I-I um...I don’t want to inconvenience you…”

He shrugged. “I’m heading that way anyway.”

“O-Oh, okay…”

“And besides, I like walking with you.”

I felt my cheeks turn a shade of crimson.

“I l-like it too…”

“That’s good. You’re cute when you blush, just so you know.”

I felt my cheeks go even redder and Byron chuckled.

“And the cuteness grows. I don’t know how you do it.”

“I-I don’t e-either…” I giggled.

“Some lucky guy will get you as a girlfriend. Or girl, even. Let’s just say, I am very jealous of them.”

I had to hide my blush in my hands.

“How do you feel about relationships?” He asked, completely calm.

“Uh…” I stammered. “I don’t k-know…”

“Your confusion is adorable.”

Thankfully the bell rang and distracted him from the conversation, allowing my cheeks to return to their normal colour.

“I suppose I’ll see you round.”

“W-weren’t y-you going to w-walk me t-to g-graphic design?” I stammered nervously.

“How do you feel about running?”

I shrugged. “I-I guess it’s okay?”

“Then you should have no problem catching up to me!” He ran down the hall but stopped at the end. 

“Dammit.” I murmured as I started racing after him. At about halfway, I ran into someone and fell to the ground. I was in too much shock and astonishment to do anything.

“A-Are you okay?” I heard the person I’d hit ask.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine Sorry for bumping into you.”

She helped me too my feet. “It’s okay. I should’ve been paying more attention.”

“Well I was running, so I’ll take the blame.”

She turned to face me. “Kaitlyn?!”

“I-I….uh….”

“It’s me!” She grinned. “Dana, remember?”

My eyes widened. “Oh my god! Hi!”

She squealed and wrapped me in a hug. “It’s so good to see you!”

“It’s so good to see you too. It’s felt like ages.”

“I know! What class do you have now?”

“I’ve got graphic design. You?”

“Same!” She grinned. “Let’s go!”

“Can I just have a sec? I need to talk to Byron for a minute.”

“Wait.” She stopped. “That Byron over there?”

“Y-yeah?”

She just looked at me wide eyed and practically shoved me towards him.

“Uh…..” I murmured, confused.

Byron chuckled. “So you know Dana.”

“Yeah. I met her not long ago.” I answered.

“Well, the graphic design room is just here. I should be off. See you in homeroom.”

“Alright. I’ll see you then.” I smiled slightly. I found Dana once again in front of the classroom. “What on earth was that?”

“Dude, you managed to make friends with  _ THE  _ Byron Highden. He’s like, the school sweetheart. You’re going to have some really jealous girls on your tail.”

“We literally became friends in art. It was just spontaneous. There is no reason for anyone to be jealous.”

“Dude, the girls are jealous of anyone who gets to hang out with him. He is adorable and insanely hot at the same time, plus he’s insanely talented too. He’s the dream guy of 90% of the girls here.”

“Oh...that’s weird. I wouldn’t think he’d talk to me then.”

Dana smiled. “You two would actually make quite an adorable couple.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so. If he has that many people chasing him he wouldn’t go for me.”

“Did you even see the way he looked at you?!”

I shrugged. “It’s how he always has.”

She giggled. “I can’t wait to see how this plays out.”

I sighed. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”

She just gave me a grin as she walked into the classroom.

The room was about double the size of a normal classroom, with half of it looking like normal, but the back half was a computer lab with big desktop machines. The walls were covered in superhero posters with the elements of design written out on them. Everyone was sitting down at the computers so Dana and I made our way over there.

“Welcome everyone!” The teacher greeted.

Everyone grumbled a hello.

“Now, today’s lesson is on 3D modelling. Does anybody here have any experience with this?”

A few people put their hands up hesitantly, the rest the class was dead silent.

“Well, let’s get started then. Log on, and open up ‘Inventor’.”

Everyone started up the computers and logged on. With a bit of hassle and a lot of questions, we all got onto the program.

“Now, select the draw tab, and you’ll see some 3 panes to draw a 2D shape on. From there, feel free to draw whatever crazy shape you want, as long as it’s complete and closed. No gaps people!”

Everyone started going nuts and testing everything out. I just drew simple shapes.

“Once you’ve made a shape, click done, and go back to the main tab. You should see a button that says ‘extrude’. From there, you can turn your 2D shape 3D.”

I followed the direction, clicked the extrude button and watched my circle become a sphere. An oddly disfigured one at that.

Dana was giggling slightly so I looked over at her screen.

“What’s going on?”

“I figured out how to change the material. My Letter A is now made out of denim!” she giggled.

“How do you do that?”

She leaned over to my computer and showed me the menu. She spotted one and her eyes lit up. “Your sphere is now made out of water bubbles!”

“This is really weird…” I mumbled.

She changed it again. “Now it’s made out of diamonds. That’s one expensive sphere Kaitlyn.”

“A diamond sphere is probably the most pointless thing ever.” I stated.

“It would be expensive though. And pretty.”

I shook my head. “You’re a weirdo.”

She giggled. “And I’m proud of it.”

“You haven’t changed at all.” I observed.

She grinned. “Why would I?”

I shrugged. “Different setting.”

“I’ll always be me, no matter where I am.” She assured. “Now, I’m going to make your sphere out of denim.”

I giggled. “Go wild.”

The teacher then went on to show us how to put shapes on other shapes to make more complete shapes, and I ended up making a table. It was actually quite a fun lesson.

Dana and I walked out behind everyone else to avoid the traffic. “What’d you think of that lesson?” I asked.

She smiled. “It’s going to be a great semester.”

“Hopefully.” I responded.

“Especially now that I know you go to my school. That’s awesome. Phil goes here too actually. We must have a different home room to you.”

I nodded. “I’ll have to find him and say hi.”

“You have to walk past our homeroom to get to yours, so we might see him there.” She explained.

“Hopefully. Shall we get moving? This hall isn’t particularly interesting.” I suggested.

She nodded. “Onwards we travel!”

I giggled and we walked down the millions of halls this school has.

“Well, this is my homeroom. Wait, there’s Phil. Phil! Look who I found!”

Wait, is that?” He asked. “Am I going crazy or is that Kaitlyn?”

“You’re already crazy Phil.” Dana joked. “But yes, this is Kaitlyn.”

He wrapped me in a hug. “It’s good to see you again.”

I smiled. “You too.”

“How long have you been coming to this school anyway?”

“Since today. This is my first day.” I explained.

“Cool.” He smiled.

“The bell’s gonna ring soon. You should probably head to your form room.” Dana told me.

I sighed. “Probably.”

Phil gave me one last hug. “I guess we’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“I guess so.” I smiled.

I walked down the hall until I reached my own homeroom, where I ran into Byron.

“Oh, h-hi.” I stammered.

“Hey. What’s up Kaitlyn the awesome sketcher?”

I shrugged. “Just coming to homeroom so I can go home.”

He giggled slightly. “Good plan.”

“D-Do we go in yet or do we wait?”

“We can go in if you want.”

“What do you want to do?”

“Let’s go in and get good seats.”

I smiled and followed him inside.

We sat toward the back and soon enough, everyone filed in and filled up the rest of the room.

Mr Dennison arrived and took the role, before leaving us to talk the rest of the time until the bell rang.

I was honestly getting very frustrated at the wait. I just wanted to be home and leave this chaos behind for awhile.

“So, do you want to hang out sometime?” Byron asked.

“M-Maybe?” I answered nervously.

He smiled. “Can I have your number?”

I wrote it down as neat as I could on a piece of paper before handing it to him.

He grinned slightly and handed me a piece of paper. “Here’s mine. Text me anytime, kay?”

I nodded. “Alright.”

The bell rang and we all basically ran out the door.

I met up with Dana and Phil in the parking lot while we waited for our parents. I spotted Nicole talking with a couple of her mean new ‘friends’, so I didn’t go over. I didn’t understand why they hated me so much, I hadn’t even done anything to them except for maybe existing.

Brendon arrived and Nicole got in first. I walked toward the car and got into the car in silence.

“How was your day?” Brendon asked the both of us.

“It was great!” Nicole answered.

“It was okay.” I told him quietly.

“What’s up little worm?” He asked.

I shrugged. “Just stuff.”

“What sort of stuff?”

“Just people being mean. I’m on good terms with the councillor now though.”

Brendon sighed. “We’ll talk more about this when we get home.”

“O-okay…” I whispered.

“I made a heap of friends today Dad. It was cool.” Nicole smiled.

“That’s awesome Nicole!” He enthused.

I whimpered in the back seat.

“What’s up Kaitlyn?” Brendon asked. 

“She’s just jealous. Don’t mind her.” Nicole stated.

“Did you make any friends today?” Brendon asked hopefully.

I shrugged. “Sort of yeah, sort of no.”

“Well what does that mean?” He pushed.

I gulped. “I-I, there is this b-boy, Byron a-and I don’t know i-if we’re friends or w-what and t-the other t-two w-were people I m-met at the...yeah…” I whispered.

“What, at the nuthouse?” Nicole asked. “Just come out and say it. We all know you were there.”

“Nicole!” Brendon snapped at her.

She shrugged. “It’s true.”

I started crying, although I did my best to hide it.

Brendon pulled into the driveway. “Nicole, go to your room!” He demanded.

She shrugged and got out of the car. “I was just telling the truth.”

Brendon got out and came into the backseat beside me. He wrapped me in hug. “Has she been mean to you all day?”

I nodded slightly. “S-She k-kept calling m-me c-crazy and w-wouldn’t l-let me n-near her and s-she w-was really mean!”

He sighed. “I’m sorry little worm. I’ll have to sort her out.”

I sniffled. “I-I don’t w-wanna go back t-there.”

“I know, but you have to. We’ll have to sort something out.” He stated. “What classes did you have today?”

“M-maths, but I was in the councillors office for most of it, Art, English and Graphics.”

“Were any of your friends in those classes?”

I nodded. “Y-yeah.”

“That’s good. Did you have fun in those classes?” He asked.

I shrugged. “I-I g-guess?”

“Let’s go inside. It’s a bit cramped in this car.”

I nodded unsurely and carried my bag inside.

“Hey bub!” Sarah greeted at the door. “How was your first day?”

“It was, uh….” I murmured. 

Brendon put a hand on my shoulder. “It was a little less than spectacular.”

I nodded. “I guess y-you could put it that w-way…”

Sarah’s face fell. “Are you okay?”

“I-I guess I-I’m fine. I-I wasn’t bashed u-up or anything.”

She nodded. “That’s good, I guess. Come on through, I’ll make you some tea and you can tell me all about it.”

I gulped. “I-I don’t know if w-we should t-talk about it…”

“Why not?” She asked.

“J-Just because. I-I don’t know i-if you’d w-want to know.” I mumbled.

“Of course I want to know bub.” She said, taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen. “Do you have any homework?”

“N-Not that I c-can remember.”

She poured some water and added some sugar to a mug, before pushing it across the kitchen bench to me. “Did you make any friends?”

“Sort of, I guess?” I answered unsurely.

Sarah smiled. “What are their names? Tell me all about them.”

“Well there’s is Byron who I met in art class and he’s awesome, and I reunited with Dana and Phil from the facility which was cool. Then I met the councillor. He was nice.”

“I got a call from the councillor today.”

“W-What’d he say?” I asked nervously.

“Nothing much. He said that you’d visited him a couple of times and he just wanted us to go over what happened today when you got home.”

I frowned. “I-I don’t really w-want to…”

Brendon poured himself a glass of soda from the fridge. “We need to little worm.”

“F-fine…” I mumbled.

Sarah moved and sat down beside me. “So what happened?”

“Well in homeroom, we were playing celebrity heads. I was really nervous about the whole thing so when he asked for volunteers, I didn’t put my hand up but he chose me anyway. That all sort of freaked me out. Then in maths, I was freaking out, I’m still not sure why but I tried to give Nicole a note because I needed help and the teacher took it and read it to the whole class. That’s when I went to him the first time.” I explained.

Sarah nodded. “Then what happened?”

“Well the next sort of ‘event’ was at lunch. Nicole said she’d walk with me to lunch but she ran off with her friends. When I went to talk to her about it, sh-” I started crying lightly. “She c-called me c-clingy and a c-crazy p-person a-and-” I whimpered.

“NICOLE!” Sarah called.

“D-Don’t get m-mad at her.” I whispered.

She walked out into the room casually and sat down at the bench. “What’s up?

“Kaitlyn just told me what happened at school. Can you explain yourself?”

“I-It was nothing.” I assured quietly.

Nicole leaned her head on her hand. “I was just telling her the truth. She’s so sheltered around here, somebody needs to be honest with her or else she’s never going to get any better.”

“The reason she’s sheltered is because she’s spent way too long being tortured, bullied, abused, even. She’s suffered enough already. You don’t have to make it worse.”

“D-Don’t get m-mad at h-her, please.”

“I’m not being mean! I’m being honest! You can’t shelter her for the rest of her life Sarah! She needs someone to push her or else she’s never going to improve at all!” Nicole snapped.

“She’s not going to improve if you’re horrible to her!”

“I’m not being horrible! I’m giving her the push she needs!”

“You don’t know what she needs!”

“And you do?!”

“I-Indigo does.” I stammered.

“Sarah isn’t Indigo.” Nicole said firmly. “She doesn’t know.”

“Sh-she talks t-to Indigo a-all the time.”

“Nicole, I am the parent. I will make the decisions based on what will be best for the wellbeing of my daughter, and you cannot change that.” Sarah said firmly.

She huffed and stormed into her room.

“Sh-should I g-go to my r-room?”

“No bub. You did nothing wrong.” Sarah assured.

“W-What did s-she mean b-by sheltered?” I asked nervously. “A-Are there t-thing you’re not telling m-me?”

She shook her head. “It just means we do lots of stuff to keep you safe. Just like I do for Brendon.” She stated. “In fact, I do it to all of you, to some extent.”

“W-What sort o-of stuff?”

“Like I try to make sure people aren’t mean to you, I make sure you aren’t around things that’ll set you off.”

“O-Oh…” I gulped.

“It’s really not a lot. I could do more but I try to let you do what you want.”

I nodded unsurely and took a sip of my tea.

“Is there anything you want to do this afternoon bub?”

I shook my head. “J-Just draw, I guess.”

“Alright. If you want to do anything just ask.” She stated.

I nodded and took my tea to my little art studio. I sat down on the seat and gathered my good pencils and a sketchbook to draw something.

After a while, Brendon came into the room. “Sorry for bursting in. I was bored.”

I shrugged. “It’s your house.”

“And this is your room.”

“You can s-sit in here if y-you want.” I shrugged.

“Do you want to talk? We can literally talk about anything.”

I spun around on my chair a little. “Where is your single on the charts now?”

He shrugged. “Haven’t checked in a little while. Here’s a game. Guess where you think it is.”

I considered. “4th?”

“That'd be nice. I’ll guess 10th at best.”

He opened his phone and checked. A huge smile came out on his face as he wrapped me in a hug. “We’re 3rd on the charts! We’re third!”

“You’re third.” I corrected.

He tightened the hug. “I couldn’t have done it without you little worm.”

I smiled slightly. “Congrats, I suppose.

“We’ve got to go tell Sarah!”

I giggled. “If you say so. So is this like, your most popular song, second most popular now?”

He grinned and raced out of the room to find Sarah.

I chuckled and followed him out. Sarah was cooking dinner in the kitchen when he raced in. 

“It’s very exciting Bren. Well done.” She grinned as he jumped out and down.

“You have way too much energy Dad.” I stated.

He grinned and lifted me onto his shoulder. “It’s not a bad thing!”

I got comfy on his shoulder. “I’ll just sleep up here.”

He chuckled and took me to the lounge, before putting me down there. “You can sleep here if you want.”

I frowned. “It’s not as warm as you are.”

He grabbed and blanket and snuggled with me. “Is that better?”

I nodded. “Much better.” I murmured, snuggling up in the warmth.

“Good to know.” He grinned, flicking the TV on.

I watched the TV for a little bit but ended up falling asleep.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Kaitlyn! Dinner’s ready!”

I groaned, hating being woken up. “Just put it in the fridge or something.” I murmured.

“Come on! Sarah’s not letting us eat until you get up!”

I pulled myself up and dragged myself to the dining table. I was almost falling back asleep at the table.

“Good morning.” Brendon grinned as he pulled out a chair next to him.

I grumbled some sort of response and stared at the table. “You shouldn’t have woken me up.” I mumbled.

“Well, we did. If we’d let you sleep you wouldn’t have slept much tonight at all and then you’d be really tired at school tomorrow.” Sarah explained.

I frowned. “Right…”

Brendon handed me a bowl. “Here you go little worm.”

“Thanks.” I murmured, taking a few slow bites of the food. 

“So, Kaitlyn got a boyfriend today.” Nicole said casually.

“No I didn’t.” I defended.

“Yes. You did.” She told me. “I saw you with him.”

“He’s not my boyfriend though.”

She raised an eyebrow. “He looked pretty into you.”

I shrugged. “It was just how he always looked at me.”

She chuckled. “I bet by the end of the week, you two will be dating. I’m sure of it.”

“I don’t think so. I think we’re just friends.”

“You say that now, but by the end of the week that’ll be completely different.”

I shook my head. “I think you’ve gone wild.”

“Look, even if, Kaitlyn isn’t dating.” Sarah butted in.

“W-why not?”

“Because Kaitlyn, a relationship gone wrong is going to be detrimental to your mental health. And we can’t have that.”

“So you’re going to shelter her from this too. Right, okay.” Nicole remarked.

“B-But wouldn’t a g-good one help m-me?”

Sarah shook her head. “The answer is no, Kaitlyn.”

I frowned. “What about Nicole?”

“I’m not dating. If anyone at school finds out...you can count me out of that friendship group faster than you can say spaghetti.”

“Well this sucks.” I mumbled.

“You do like him! I knew it!” Nicole grinned.

“He’s just really nice to me.” 

She giggled. “Someone’s getting defensive.”

“No I’m not!”

“Nicole, stop. You’re ruining dinner.” Sarah said.

“It’s just a conversation.” I mumbled.

“I’m quite excited at the possibility of the Kaitlyn/Byron saga.” She shrugged.

“Well I’m done.” I mumbled, pushing my plate to the middle of the table.

Brendon pushed it back. “Eat a little more.”

I shook my head and got up from the table to go to my room.

“Kaitlyn! Come back here now!” Sarah called sternly.

I seized up and nervously sat back down.

“Now, you eat at least half of what’s left.” She said firmly as she pushed the plate in front of me.

“B-But that’s a l-lot.” I whimpered.

“Just, well, a quarter of what’s left.” She negotiated.

I stared down at the plate and got nervous. “I-I don’t know…”

“Please Kaitlyn.” Brendon pleaded.

“I-It’s j-just so m-much.” I sniffled.

“4 bites. That’s all I ask.” Sarah told me.

Nicole groaned and ran her fingers through her hair.

“P-Please, I c-can’t eat anymore.”

“Just, two bites. Please!” Sarah begged.

I took one more tiny bite before putting my fork down.

“One more little worm.” Brendon whispered.

I took more more bite, tears running down my face. “I-I’m going to my room.”

Nicole grabbed my arm and pushed me back down. “Hell no.”

“W-Why not?”

She turned to face the table. “Who remembers what Kaitlyn had for breakfast this morning?”

“A cup of tea…?” Sarah answered.

“Right. No actual food. And she didn’t eat lunch. And now all she’s eaten of dinner is like 5 bites. There is no way she’s leaving until she actually eats something decent.” 

“P-Please, no!” I cried.

Nicole forced the fork into my hand. “Eat. Bloody eat Kaitlyn. Now.”

I started shaking and dropped the fork. “I-I CAN’T!”

“YOU CAN AND YOU WILL!” She screamed at me.

I curled up under the table, shaking and crying non-stop. I was honestly terrified of her.

“Get out here!” She yelled, grabbing my arm and yanking me back onto the chair.

“Nicole, stop!” Sarah exclaimed.

“LET ME GO! PLEASE!” I begged.

“Eat!” She demanded. “Once you eat, I’ll let you go.”

Sarah pushed her off me. “Why are you doing this?!”

“How can you possibly think you’re doing her any good by letting her off with so little food?! No wonder she’s not putting on any weight!”

“C-Can you g-get me m-my puffer D-Dad?” I whimpered, scooting closer to him. 

“Course.” He murmured as he raced for the kitchen.

“And you think you’re the perfect parent then?!” Sarah accused.

“May I remind you who practically raised that little ray of sunshine!” Nicole rebutted, gesturing to Jaxon who had been sitting quietly through the whole ordeal.

“AT LEAST YOU HAD SOMEONE!” I cried.

She turned to me. “At least you had food to eat! Clothes to wear! Someone to drive you to school and back!”

Brendon came back and climbed under the table with me. He had my puffer and gave me a puff. I curled up in his lap and tried to regulate my breathing.

“This isn’t a game of who had a worse upbringing!” Sarah exclaimed.

“I-I don’t know i-if it’s h-helping.” I whispered.

Nicole tore my puffer away from me. “You can stand this one out.”

“No I can’t!” I cried. The voices flooded back into my mind.

“The only reason you think you can’t is because you’ve grown so dependent on crap like this!” Nicole shouted as she threw the puffer to the ground, cracking it open.

I collapsed onto the ground and brought my hands up to my ears. 

“Now look what you’ve done!” Brendon roared as he cradled me in his arms.

“J-just make it all g-go away!” I cried.

“The emergency medication is in the kitchen Bren.” Sarah whispered.

I couldn’t control anything anymore. My breathing, the voices, the shakes.

“Kaitlyn, bub, listen to me.” Sarah tried to tell me as she bent down beside me. “Breathe, okay? In and out. In and out. That’s it.”

I took a few shaky breaths, my breathing interrupted by frequent sobs.

“It’s okay bub.” Sarah soothed. “It’s okay. Dad’s bringing your emergency medication.”

“Sh-she’s right.” I whimpered. “I-I’m pathetic.”

“She is NOT right Kaitlyn.” Sarah said firmly. “She’s really wrong.”

Nicole huffed and folded her arms. “Excuse me for trying to help.”

My breathing was interrupted by a fit of coughing. It honestly felt like my body was giving up on me.

“Hurry up Bren!” Sarah called.

“I-I feel l-like I’m g-gonna die M-Mom!” I cried, holding onto her. “I-I don’t wanna d-die!”

“You’re not going to die bub. Just hold on.” She assured, stroking my hair.

Nicole rolled her eyes. “She’s fine Sarah.”

“W-What i-if my heart mucks u-up again? Th-they said they m-mightn’t b-be able to h-help me a-again!” I panicked.

“Your heart is going to be fine. You’re going to be fine.” She soothed.

I closed my eyes and tried to regulate my breathing.

Brendon raced in finally with my medication. “Here little worm. Take these.”

I took the medication and curled up in Sarah’s lap. It took awhile, but I finally started to feel almost normal.

“Why did you do that Nicole?!” Brendon asked.

“I’m just trying to make her get better! Neither of you seem to be!”

I whimpered. “Th-that’s c-cause I w-won’t g-get better.”

“Of course you’ll get better.” She huffed. “But it’s not going to be by these two wrapping you in bubble wrap.”

“I-I’d rather that th-then be y-yelled at a-all the time. I-It’s like I’m b-back in the g-group home.”

“I’m not yelling at you to be mean. Look, I’m sorry if I triggered anything. But they’re going far too soft on you. I probably seem like the meanest person on the planet, but I’m trying to help you.”

“C-Can you j-just leave?” I whimpered.

She shook her head. “Nope. I’m not leaving. If these two aren’t going to put any pressure on you, then I will. It’s as simple as that.”

I looked up at Sarah. “C-Can you t-take me back t-to the g-group home?” I whispered.

“Nicole, may I remind you who took you in. If you don’t want to follow the rules of living under this roof, then we will send you back to child services, you hear me?” Sarah threatened.

“Like you’d do that.”

“I will.” She said in a grave tone. “Split you and Jax up too.”

“I doubt it. You’re too much of a goody-two-shoes to do that.”

“Go get your bags.”

“You aren’t seriously going to do this, are you?”

“She said go.” Brendon said, standing next to Sarah.

“Fine.” She smirked, striding into the room.

She returned a few minutes later with a few bags. “So you’re really going to do this?”

“W-What’s going on?” Jaxon whimpered.

“Just big people stuff Jax.” Sarah stated. She grabbed the keys and left with Nicole. Brendon came and held me tight.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that little worm.” He murmured.

“I-I just n-need to s-suck it up.”

He shook his head. “That’s like asking me to forget….” He trailed off into nothing.

“C-Can I t-talk to Indigo?” I asked nervously.

“Um...I think it’s past her opening hours...but I’ll see if I can call her.” He replied.

“Th-thank you.” I whispered.

He disappeared outside with his phone, and after a short conversation, he handed it to me.

“H-Hello?”

“Hey kiddo. Brendon told me what happened. How are you feeling now?”

“I-I don’t r-really know. N-Not great…”

“Why’s that?”

“Th-the realisation h-has just s-sort of s-set in.”

“What realisation?”

“I-I’ve messed e-everything u-up again.”

“Kaitlyn, what do you think you’ve messed up?”

“I-I ruined d-dinner and n-now Sarah is t-taking Nicole god knows w-where and J-Jaxon is confused and I-I made everyone focus on m-me.” 

“Kiddo, that wasn’t your fault. She was the one attacking you.”

“A-And now I-I’m taking u-up your free t-time.”

“Not really. I’m just sitting at home with the puppies.”

“I-I think I’m okay n-now.”

“That’s good.” I heard her say cheerfully. “How did you go at school today?”

“N-Nicole was b-being mean there t-too and I h-had a panic a-attack during my first class…” I admitted.

“First day nerves Kaitlyn. Tomorrow should be much better. Have you made any friends?”

“I m-met up w-with Dana and Phil?”

“Really? Oh right, you’re at that school! That’s awesome!” 

“Yeah. I only found them because I ran into Dana.” I giggled slightly.

“Well, it’s good that you found them.”

“Yeah.” I breathed. “Dana was in one of my classes too which was cool.”

“That’s really cool.” She affirmed. “How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

“I’m a bit nervous but hopefully it should be okay.”

“That’s the spirit! Anyway, I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon at 3:30.”

“Alright. See you then Indigo.”


	3. Chapter 2 - Off One’s Rocker

“Why not?”

“Well I almost had a full on panic attack this morning at the thought of going.”

“Why?”

“I was just scared. I obviously didn’t a good night and I didn’t think I was ready to face that.”

“Well, what happened after the panic attack?”

I shrugged. “We just watched TV.”

She nodded. “Alright, and were you alright for the rest of the day?”

I went to nod but hesitated. “I’m not sure...”

“Why not?”

“I f-forgot m-my medication at l-lunch so I-I’ve had s-some issues…”

“Oh dear…” Indigo took a sharp breath in.

“I-It’s not t-too bad right n-now…”

“That’s good…” She nodded. “Has anything major happened?”

I took a deep breath in. “Y-Yeah…”

“Alright, what exactly has happened?”

I bit my lip. “I-I started hearing the v-voices again a-and it was r-really loud and m-mean. I-I had the emergency m-mediation. I-It helped a l-little bit b-but I still f-feel terrible.”

“What sort of things were they saying?” 

“Th-that they w-weren’t g-going away a-and that they w-were back and m-my friends and….yeah….”

“How did that make you feel?”

“H-horrible, scared, u-useless.”

“And why do you think that is?”

“I-I thought they’d l-left.” I whimpered.

“They left because you were taking your medication kiddo.”

I sniffled. “I-I’m s-sorry…”

“It’s alright. There’s not a lot we can do now.”

I tucked my knees up to my chest. “Do w-we have t-to talk?”

“We can wait for a little while if you want.” She offered.

I nodded and snuggled back into the couch.

She started working on her computer as I just laid there.

_ You should punch her. _

“N-no I shouldn’t…” I whispered. “W-well, at l-least I think s-so.”

_ Go on. Look at her. She’s been so mean to you, she locked you up! You should punch her. Show her what you’re made of. That you’re stronger than she thinks. She underestimates you Kaitlyn. _

I stared at my clenched fists, and definitely considered it. I wasn’t sure how long I could fight the urge.

_ The only thing she wants to do to you is pack you full of pills and turn you into a mindless puppet. You’re so much more than that Kaitlyn, and it’s time to prove it. Go on, get up from your seat. _

I hesitantly got up from my seat and walked over to Indigo. I looked at her computer. “W-what are you doing?”

She minimised the tab to reveal a spreadsheet. “Just some finance.”

I took a deep breath in and punched her lightly in the arm before running off. I ran behind the couch, curled up and cried.

“Kaitlyn?” She asked as I heard her walking over to me.

“I-I’m sorry…” I whimpered.

“It’s, it’s fine. Just come up here so we can talk about it kiddo.”

I nervously got up and sat on the couch. I looked down at my shaking hands and still felt horribly guilty.

Indigo was rubbing her arm where I’d punched her. “Why did you punch me Kaitlyn?”

“Th-the voices!” I started shaking. “I-I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, we’re just talking. Don’t freak out. I forgive you. It’s okay.” She assured.

“I d-didn’t want to h-hurt you!” I cried.

“You didn’t punch me hard at all. It’s okay. I’m not hurt.”

“D-Doesn’t mean I sh-should’ve d-done it!”

“Shhh. Shh. We’re just talking. Don’t get upset.”

I curled up and resumed crying. “I-I don’t w-want to h-h-hurt you again…”

“You’re not Kaitlyn. Look, let’s just keep talking. What did they say to you?”

“Th-they s-said I sh-should punch you, th-that you o-only w-want to p-pack me f-full of pills. Th-that y-you were t-turning me into a m-mindless p-puppet.” I whispered.

“They really don’t like me, huh?”

I shook my head. “I-I d-do…”

Indigo smiled. “Thanks Kaitlyn. But I don’t think the voices in your head share the same opinion.”

“Except for Charles…” I mumbled.

“Is he back too?”

I nodded. “He w-was the o-only one s-saying n-not to p-punch you.”

“Alright. When did you have the emergency medication?”

“About...half an hour a-ago?”

She nodded. “That’s alright.”

“W-what c-can you d-do?”

“Not much I’m afraid. We’re just going to have to wait this out.”

I frowned. “Th-that’s easier s-said than done.”

“I know Kaitlyn, but there aren’t any other choices.”

“W-Well what should I-I do?”

“We’re just going to have to try and just make sure you’re not triggered by anything. And that also means keeping you occupied so the voices won’t get to you either.”

“W-What about w-when I h-have to g-go home?”

“They’ll do the same thing there.”

I nodded. “O-Okay.”

Indigo flicked through some notes. “Alright, let’s just play a game until you have to go. Unless there’s anything else you wanted to talk about.”

I shook my head. “W-What g-game?”

She pulled out a pack of cards. “I was thinking go fish.”

“O-Okay, I guess.”

She shuffled the pack and dealt me some and we started the game while talking about school. I told her about Dana and Phil and Byron, but I mainly avoided talking about Nicole.

After a while, Indigo looked up at the clock. “Well the session’s over now. Let’s go talk to your parents.”

I stood awkwardly by her side as she explained what they had to do with me since I couldn’t have medication. She suggested how to distract me and such until it was 8. After she was done, Sarah and I walked out to the car. 

“Are you feeling better?” Sarah asked hopefully.

“I don’t know…” I murmured. “Can we go home now?”

She nodded. “We can. We’re still going to talk about it there though.”

I sighed and rested my head on the car door.

“So Indigo said something about a punch…”

I took a deep breath in. “I-It was an a-accident! I s-swear! I ddn’t w-want to h-hurt her!” I cried.

“What happened?”

“Th-the voices t-told me t-to…”

Sarah sighed and didn’t move her eyes from the road.

“I-I’m sorry…” I stammered.

“It’s fine Kaitlyn.” She responded without any emotion behind her words.

“N-no it’s not.” I whimpered. “I h-hurt her.”

Sarah didn’t respond.

I sat in the silence, playing with fingers as I contemplated everything.

“We’re home.” Sarah stated as she pulled into the garage.

“D-Do you h-hate me?” I asked nervously.

“What? No, no. Of course not bub. I love you.”

“A-Are you s-sure?” I whispered.

She hugged me. “One hundred and ten percent.”

“B-But I d-disappointed y-you.” I whimpered.

“That doesn’t make me think any less of you. And I’d hardly call it a disappointment Kaitlyn. It’s just a minor setback.”

I sniffled and got out of the car. I walked into my room and stared at the ceiling, still feeling guilty. For punching Indigo, for disappointing Sarah, for not taking my medication.

Brendon walked in and sat down beside me. “Dinner time little worm.”

“I-I’m n-not hungry.” I whispered. “Y-You can d-drag me out there b-but I’m n-not going to e-eat.”

Brendon took my hand. “Please?”

I shook my head. “I-I’m just g-going to disappoint m-more people.” I sobbed, curling up under the covers.

“Kaitlyn…” He sighed as he attempted to pull the blanket off me.

“P-Please l-let me stay in h-here.”

“Look, I won’t make you eat. But can you come out and sit with us?”

I shook my head. “I j-just wanna b-be alone.”

He gave me an apologetic look. “I can’t really let you at this point…”

“P-Please Brendon. I-I c-can’t go o-out there.”

“Yes you can Kaitlyn. I promise. It’s only me and Sarah and Nicole and Jax. And the puppies. We’re your family Kaitlyn.”

“M-Maybe y-you c-c-can’t help this t-time Dad.”

He looked at me nervously and took my hand. “Come on, let’s go.”

I gulped before following him into the dining area. Everyone was already sitting down.

“Come sit down.” Sarah said, gesturing to our seats. Brendon whispered something to her, and thankfully Sarah took the plate that was meant to be mine away.

I sat quietly and scratched at the surface of the time.

Dinner finished and everyone went to the lounge room to watch some TV. I was going to follow them, but the raging voices inside my head convinced me not to. Instead, I found my way to the kitchen.

******* Brendon’s point of View *******

“Bren!” Sarah groaned.

“What now?” I grumbled, flopping into the couch.

“The baby wants pickles!” She said, tapping me with her foot. “Can you go get some pickles? There’s some in the fridge.”

I sighed made my way to the kitchen to fulfill Sarah’s request.

I opened the fridge and glanced over at Kaitlyn, who was standing in the corner, facing the wall.

“Hey, everything okay over there?”

She grunted, not turning to face me.

“Kaitlyn? What’s going on?”

She grunted again, taking a step further into the corner.

“Can you talk to me little worm?”

She shook her head slightly, still not facing me.

I walked over and wrapped her in a hug. She shrieked and threw me off, spinning around in terror. I thought the terrified look on her face was the worst part. Then I saw the knife in her hand.

I backed away. “Calm down Kaitlyn.”

Her breathing quickened, but she continued pointing the blade at me threateningly.

I was honestly terrified. “Put it down Kaitlyn.”

She backed away from me slightly, until she hit the corner. She didn’t put the knife down.

“S-Sarah?” I called nervously.

“The pickles are to the left!” She groaned.

“Shut up about the goddamn pickles!” I panicked.

“What is it then?”

“C-Can you c-come here?” I stammered, backing further away, not knowing what to do.

She groaned as she got up from her seat and walked over, but as soon as she saw the situation she immediately raced to my aid.

I gulped. “W-What do we do?” I whispered.

Sarah took a step towards Kaitlyn. “Kaitlyn, bub, I really need you to listen to me. You need to put the knife down, okay?”

Kaitlyn looked so scared and hesitant. She reached back and placed the knife on the counter.

“Thanks Kaitlyn.” Sarah breathed.

I took a step forward towards her, hopefully to grab the knife so she wouldn’t grab it again. However my plan backfired when she saw me and immediately grabbed it for self-defence.

I stepped away again. I don’t whether it was just me scaring her, that I was the one making her like this or if it was just people in general.

“Dammit.” Sarah cursed under her breath.

“Kaitlyn, please, put the knife down. Someone is going to get hurt.”

She started hyperventilating, and turned the knife to face Sarah, then back to me.

“Kaitlyn, please!” I begged.

She looked absolutely terrified and pointed the knife at me again.

I backed all the way back until I hit the bench. I had no clue what to do anymore.

“Nicole, get my phone and call an ambulance.” Sarah called to Nicole.

I heard Nicole calling an ambulance, panic lacing every word of hers.

“Kaitlyn, please. Please bub. Just put the knife down so we can help.” Sarah pleaded.

She didn’t put the knife down. Instead, she turned the knife to herself.

“Kaitlyn please! Please! Just put it down!” Sarah panicked.

She hesitated slightly before inching the knife closer to her.

Something came over me. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I ran in as fast as I could to grab the knife. She screamed when she saw me coming, and moved the knife away. I grabbed her shoulders and tried to calm her down, and that’s when I felt the knife go into my stomach.

Sarah screamed.

Kaitlyn’s eyes widened and she ended up passing out.

My hands were shaking as I grabbed the handle of the knife and slowly pulled it out, coated in a bright shade of crimson. Sarah helped me over to the couch and bunched up a blanket and pressed it to the wound.

“The ambulance is coming Bren. It’s coming.” She assured.

I took deep breaths, being subjected to unspeakable pain. 

“Kaitlyn’s waking up!” Nicole called from the kitchen.

“Is she-how is she?” 

Nicole rushed in. “Help Sarah. She’s banging her head against the wall.”

“I don’t know if I can right now.” She stated. 

I grunted, knowing it was only going to get worse.

Nicole took the blanket from her and continued pressing it to my stomach. “I’ve got it here. You go help Kaitlyn.”

Sarah nodded and rushed to the kitchen. 

I continued taking deep breaths. “When’s the ambulance going to get here?”

“Any minute now Dad. Any minute.” Nicole assured.

There was then a random spike of pain. I flinched and it got so much worse.

I heard the sirens outside the house and the paramedics rushed in, pushing Nicole away from the scene. Half of them were helping my stab wound, while the other half had run to go find Kaitlyn.

Every time they touched it the pain got worse, but the thing I couldn’t stop thinking about was whether or not Kaitlyn was okay.

“We’re going to take you in now.” One of the paramedics said. “Here, suck on this. It’ll get rid of all the pain.” They shoved a green whistle in my mouth. I sucked on that thing like it was a lifeline.

It did help the pain, thankfully, but they wouldn’t tell me anything about Kaitlyn or Sarah or Nicole or anyone.

They loaded me onto a stretcher and into the back of the ambulance. Nicole jumped in with me, Jax in her arms so Sarah could go with Kaitlyn to wherever they were taking her.

“Is daddy okay?” Jaxon asked.

“I’m fine bud.” I tried to say while cringing from the pain.

“Are you sure?” He asked. 

I weakly nodded and rested back on the stretcher. 

******* Sarah’s Point of View *******

“What happened to Dad? Why can’t I see him?” Kaitlyn whispered from the backseat.

“There’s just a lot going on right now bub.” I explained nervously.

“Like what? Why isn’t he here?”

I gulped. “Look, just, I’ll tell you when I know.”

She curled up in the backseat. “I wish he was here.”

“So do I.” I breathed.

“When can we see him?”

“I don’t know.”

She sighed. “Where are we going?”

“Just, somewhere.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“Not really.” I mumbled.

“I wanna go home now.” She murmured.

“So do I.”

“Can we go then?”

“No. I’m taking you somewhere then I’m going to see Brendon. Not home.”

“That’s mean…” She mumbled. “I want to see Brendon too.”

“Yes well, frankly, I don’t want you to see him.”

“Why not?”

I sighed. “Reasons.”

“Why are you being so vague?” She asked. “I don’t know what I did.”

“You probably don’t want to know what you did.”

She sighed and rested her head on the window. “Was it bad?”

I nodded slightly. “You could say that.”

“Did I hurt anyone?”

I fell silent.

“O-Oh god. W-Wait, d-did I h-hurt Brendon?”

“Uh….” I bit my lip.

“O-Oh my g-god…” She stammered. “I h-hurt Br-Brendon!”

“It’s alright, calm down.”

She started hyperventilating and curled up on the seat.

“Bub, please, try to calm down.”

“I-I-” She stammered, tears running down her cheeks.

“I’m taking you to see Indigo, okay?” I explained.

“T-This doesn’t l-look like t-t-the way to h-her office!”

“She’s at home right now bub. That’s where we’re going.” I stated. “She’ll decide what’ll happen from there.”

“I-I s-still hurt B-Brendon!” She wailed.

“He should be fine. He’s going to the hospital.”

“T-The hospital?!” She shrieked. “How b-bad did I h-hurt h-him?!”

“It’s uh….”

She crumbled into another round of tears and laid down in the backseat.

“I don’t want to tell you exactly what happened because I don’t know if you can handle it.”

She just continued sobbing and seemingly didn’t hear what I said.

“Alright, we’re here bub.” I said gently. “We have to go inside.”

“I-I h-hurt him!” She cried. “I-I don’t d-deserve h-help! I d-deserve d-death!”

“No you don’t bub. You weren’t really in control when it all happened. You were a bit overwhelmed.”

“I-I’m h-horrible a-and c-crazy and i-insane!” She sobbed.

“You aren’t bub. I promise.” I ended up picking her up and carrying her inside.

Indigo answered the door and I put Kaitlyn down on the inside couch, ignoring the dogs that were at my feet.

“Sorry for disturbing you Indigo.” I apologised.

“It’s okay.” She said, looking at Kaitlyn. “In situations like this, I’m glad you did.”

“Is it okay if I leave her here? I just want to get to the hospital as soon as I can.”

Indigo nodded and sat down on the couch next to her. “Of course Sarah.”

I gave her a grateful smile and headed out to the car.

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

“I w-want to be with M-Mom and D-Dad.” I whispered.

“I know Kiddo. I’m sorry. There’s just a lot going on right now.” Indigo apologised.

“And i-it’s my fault!” I cried.

“There are a lot of factors kiddo. Please. You weren’t in control.”

“I-I can’t even remember it! Th-that’s the worst part!”

“That’s not your fault kiddo. Please, deep breath. Calm down.”

I followed her directions and took a few deep breaths. “I-I still don’t kn-know what I d-did.”

Indigo considered a moment. “Since you’re calmer, I can tell you as long as you stay calm, okay?”

“I-I’ll try?”

“While you weren’t in control, you grabbed a knife and stabbed Brendon in the stomach.”

I gulped. “I-Is he okay?”

“He’s in the hospital, but the doctor’s have said there’s no internal bleeding and the knife didn’t puncture any organs, so he should be fine.”

I nodded slightly and curled up. “I f-feel really b-bad.” I whimpered.

“You weren’t in control Kaitlyn. I understand the guilt, but understand, none of us blame you at all.”

“I-I do. I-If I just took the s-stupid medication this w-wouldn’t have h-happened!” I sobbed.

“Kaitlyn, you’re human. It’s okay to forget every once in a while. These hiccups will happen, and that’s okay.”

“I-I should be b-back in a s-strait jacket. F-First you, th-then Brendon.” I cried.

“Kiddo, you’re okay. People are only put in strait jackets if they pose an immediate threat. And right now I’m sitting beside you, knowing that you’re not going to hurt me. So therefore, you don’t need one.”

“I k-keep hurting p-people I don’t w-want to hurt.” I buried my face in my knees.

“Kaitlyn, you weren’t in control. It wasn’t you who hurt people. It wasn’t you.”

“If y-you say so.” I mumbled. 

“It’s 8pm. Let’s go to the kitchen and I’ll give you your medication.” Indigo stated.

I nodded. “Th-then can I g-go to bed? S-So I d-don’t d-do anything else?”

“I was thinking you could play with the puppies, but if you want to, sure.”

I shrugged. “W-we’ll see.”

Indigo poured me a glass of water and handed me my pills, which I swallowed without hesitation. She offered me some tea and biscuits, which I politely declined. She made them anyway.

“W-what were you d-doing before I c-came?” I asked quietly.

“Just watching TV and playing with the puppies.” She shrugged as she pushed the mug towards me. “They’re so cute.”

I smiled slightly. “Puppies are great.”

She grinned. “Do you want me to get them?”

“Only if it wouldn’t be too much of a struggle.” I answered.

She grinned and opened a nearby door, where two puppies and a slightly larger dog came running out.

I smiled as the puppies came running toward me. “They are very cute indeed.”

“That one there is Bella and that one there is Max, and this is Jake.” She introduced.

“Awesome. Can I pick them up?”

Indigo nodded. “Go for it.”

I picked Max up and rested him on my lap. He seemed to love me petting him and he rolled around on my lap as I rubbed his belly.

Indigo chuckled. “He likes you.”

“I guess so.” I giggled.

“Florence got released from the institution today.” Indigo said.

I smiled. “That’s awesome.”

“She’s come a long way. She was able to make a speech in front of everyone else before she left.”

“That’s great.”

“Anyway, I think she’s transferring to your school. I’ll have to check on that, but I’m pretty sure.”

“That’d be cool.”

Max started licking my face and I giggled.

“Dog are just the best thing ever.” I smiled.

“They are. I have three.” Indigo grinned.

I yawned. “Um, should I just go back to the couch? It feels like I’m going to fall asleep.”

“Go to the guest room.” Indigo said, pointing to a door. 

I nodded and dragged myself into the room. I had already flopped onto the bed when I realised the door was wide open and the puppies could get in. 

Max took advantage of the open door and jumped up on the bed and snuggled up next to me.

He was nice and warm so I didn’t care to make him move at all. I ended up drifting off to sleep with him curled up beside me.


	4. Chapter 3 - Deja Vu

*******Sarah’s Point Of View*******

“Sarah?” Brendon muttered. He’d just woken up from his sleep. It was pretty cute seeing him confused.

“Hey Bren.” I smiled. “How are you feeling?”

He shrugged before wincing in pain. “I’ve been better, I suppose.”

“You’re all stitched up. The doctor’s say you can come home this afternoon.”

He nodded. “How many stitches?”

“Five.”

“That’s not too bad, I guess.” He mumbled.

“It’s not. The wound wasn’t very deep either.”

He sighed in relief. “Thank god.”

“Kaitlyn’s a little upset…”

He frowned. “She’s knows it wasn’t her fault, right?”

“I keep telling her, but you know how stubborn she is when it comes to these things.”

Brendon sighed. “Is she feeling better at least?”

“I don’t know. I dropped her off at Indigo’s and came straight here.”

“You shouldn’t worry about me Sarah.”

“Of course I worry about you Bren. You’re my husband and you were stabbed.”

“Yeah, but she was probably in a worse condition than I was.”

“I left her in the best possible care I could Bren.”

“I guess so.” He murmured.

“I’ll call Indigo soon, check up on how she’s going. Do you think you’re ready to see her?”

“I guess so. I’m still in some pain, but that’s about it.”

I nodded. “Understandable.”

“How was she when you dropped her off?”

“Not very good…” I murmured. “I had to carry her inside.”

He frowned. “That sucks.”

“She’s a bit upset about what happened…”

“So when can I see her?”

I shrugged. “When she’s ready, I guess.”

He sighed. “I’m just bored. But I can’t really move so I can’t remedy that.”

I flicked the TV on in the corner. “There you go.”

“Thanks.” He smiled slightly.

“I’m going to call Indigo. I’ll be right back.” I told him as I got up from my seat.

He nodded before becoming fixated with the TV.

I walked outside and tapped Indigo’s number, before holding the phone to my ear.

“Hey Sarah.” Indigo answered. “What’s up?”

“Not much. I was just wondering how Kaitlyn was doing.”

“Right. She’s been doing pretty well. Much better than before. I think she may be asleep, I’m not sure.”

“Has she been worse since I dropped her off?”

“She was still a bit panicky when you left but she’s calmed down a lot.”

“That’s good.” I sighed in relief.

“How’s everything with Brendon?”

“He’s good.” I explained. “Just woke up, only a little bit of pain, and doctor’s say he should be out of here by this afternoon.”

“That’s great to hear.” She stated. “Do you know when you’re coming to get Kaitlyn?”

“Probably soon.” I explained. “Do you have a time that’s best for you?”

“Any time should be fine. If I have to do anything I’ll tell you.”

I nodded. “See you soon then.”

“See you then.” Indigo hung up the phone.

I walked back in to see Brendon and sat down on the chair. “Kaitlyn is supposedly doing much better.”

He smiled. “That’s good to hear.

I nodded. “She says I can go over and get her any time, although apparently she’s still sleeping at the moment.”

“I see. Hopefully she’ll be happy to be back.”

I nodded. “I hope she won’t be too behind at school.”

“I’m sure we can get Nicole to help her catch up.”

“I guess so.” I murmured. “But there are some classes that are different between them and...ugh this is hard.” 

“We’ll work something out, I promise.” He assured, taking my hand.

I smiled slightly. “Thanks Bren.”

“How have you been Sarah?”

“Me? I don’t know. Average?”

“Average?” He echoed. “Good or bad average?”

“Average Average.”

“Well that’s okay, I suppose. Why are you only feeling average though?”

“Bren, look around. A lot has happened over these past two days.”

He shrugged. “But it’s all sorting itself out now.”

“I know.” I sighed. “I’ll be okay.”

“If you say so. I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

I smiled. “Thanks Bren.”

“Are you okay with me falling back to sleep?” He mumbled.

I nodded. “Course Bren. Do whatever you want.”

“I don’t want you to be lonely though.” He frowned slightly.

“I’ll go get Kaitlyn. Don’t worry about me.” I assured.

He nodded slightly before he started falling asleep. “Sorry I couldn’t stay awake very long.” He murmured, snuggling into the bed.

“It’s fine Bren. Don’t worry. You’re still under the effects of the sleepy drugs they gave you.”

He squeezed my hand and gave a small smile before drifting back to sleep.

I smiled slightly and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before walking out of the hospital to my car.

*******Kaitlyn’s Point Of View*******

“Kiddo, wake up, Sarah’s here.” Indigo shook me lightly. 

“W-What?” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

“It’s time to get up now.” She said. “Your Mom is here to get you.”

“Right, sorry.” I mumbled, getting out of bed.

I walked out of the room to the lounge, where Mom was playing with the puppies. As soon as Max saw me he raced over and I picked him up in my arms.

“Hey bub.” Sarah greeted.

I rushed over and hugged her tight. “Hey Mom.”

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

“Much better.” I smiled.

She smiled. “That’s great.”

“Um...Sarah?” Indigo asked. “Can I talk to you?”

Sarah looked up. “Yeah, sure. Stay here bub. We’ll be back in a minute.”

I was pretty nervous. I sat down with the puppies as I waited for Sarah to return.

A few minutes later Sarah returned with a dismal expression, Indigo walking a few steps behind. I could feel my nerves increasing, and I started patting Max to try and hide my shaking hand.

“Alright, we need to talk.” Indigo stated, sitting across from me.

“A-About what?” I asked nervously.

“Kaitlyn, bub, you know that everything I do is to help you, right?” Sarah asked nervously.

“W-What’s going on?” I whimpered.

“I’m just going to say it.” Indigo stated. “Kaitlyn, you’re going to be spending a few days in the hospital so we can further monitor your behavior.”

I froze up. “D-Do I h-have to?” I whispered, curling up.

“I’m sorry Bub. It’s for your own good.”

I started crying. “I-I’m sorry.” I whimpered quietly. 

“It’s not your fault bub.” Sarah whispered as she put an arm around me. “We’re just trying to make sure you’re completely okay.”

Just the thought of going back there made me feel sick. “I-I don’t w-want to go b-back.”

“It’s not the institution kiddo, it’s just the hospital.” Indigo explained slowly.

“I-I’m still s-scared.” I whimpered.

“It won’t be as bad as you think.” Sarah tried to assure. “I’ll be there everyday, and Brendon will too.”

I sniffled. “H-How long exactly?” 

“3 days, give or take depending on your progress.”

I nodded hesitantly. “O-Okay…” I whispered.

“Are you ready to go?” Indigo asked.

“Well, n-not really b-but we c-can go.”

Sarah hugged me tightly. “Thank you for understanding bub.”

I got up quietly and walked out to the car. I sat in the back in silence, just contemplating everything.

“You can sit in the front if you want…” Sarah said in a fake cheerful tone. I could tell she was as devastated by the news as I was, but for my sake was doing her best to hide it.

I shook my head. “I-I’m fine…”

Sarah nodded and pulled the car out of the driveway. “Are you okay bub?”

“I-I don’t know. M-Maybe?” I answered.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Just….n-nothing.” I mumbled.

Sarah made eye contact with me through the rear view mirror. “Please talk to me bub. I just want to help you.”

“D-don’t worry about m-me…”

“Just talk to me bub. Please.”

“I-I’m fine. Th-there’s nothing to talk about.”

Sarah sighed and went back to the road.

“I-I’m sorry f-for disappointing y-you again…”

“You’re not disappointing me bub.” Sarah assured. “I just...I wish you trusted me a little more.”

“I-I’m sorry. I-I’m just nervous.” I stammered.

“It’s okay bub. Just...talk to me and I’ll see if I can help.”

“I-I’m scared I’m j-just going to g-get worse.” I whispered. “I a-always do.”

“You haven’t gotten worse Kaitlyn. You’ve gotten so much better. Sure, this is a little hiccup, but everyone has those. Ask your father, he’s had more hiccups than anyone.”

“I w-want to talk to h-him.” I whimpered. “B-But I c-can’t.”

“He’ll come and visit this afternoon bub.”

I frowned and returned to silence.

Sarah pulled up at the hospital. “Well, here we are.”

I nodded glumly and got out of the car.

Indigo parked next to us and got out of her own car. “They’re expecting us. Let’s head in.”

We walked in. I drifted beside Sarah, taking her hand in a nervous gesture.

She squeezed my hand as we walked into the reception for the mental health ward. Indigo talked to the receptionist for a while, before I was given a hospital bracelet. Sarah looked uncomfortable as it had to go on as tight as it could to fit around my skinny wrist and not fall off.

“I-I already m-miss home…” 

“I know bub. I’m sorry.” Sarah apologised.

“I-It’s not your f-fault.” I murmured.

Indigo handed me a hospital gown. “You’re in room 205. This way.”

We got to the room and I changed into the hospital gown before laying down. I was still bummed out, so I fell quiet.

“A nurse is coming soon with a drip and a feeding tube.” Indigo explained.

I whimpered slightly at the thought of all the needles and tubes but did my best to hide the concern.

“It’s okay bub.” Sarah whispered, taking my hand.

“I-I know, it’s j-just….nevermind.” I mumbled.

“I know it’s a bit mean of me to say this, but is it okay if I go check on Brendon?” Sarah asked nervously.

I nodded. “Th-that’s fine.” I sniffled, feeling slightly betrayed.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, I just need to go and make sure he’s okay. Hopefully I can bring him with me when I come back.”

“Do w-whatever you w-want.” I mumbled, frustrated.

“Please don’t be mad at me…” Sarah mumbled as she got up from her seat.

I didn’t respond. Instead, I faced away from her and stared at the wall.

Sarah bit her lip and sat back down. “I’ll stay then…”

“Just go.” I spat. “That’s where you want to be anyway.”

“Kaitlyn…” She sighed. “I want to be here. But I need to be in two places at once.”

“Then go!” I snapped.

Sarah shook her head. “You’re obviously upset so I’m staying.”

“Don’t stay. You’re making it worse.” I stated.

She sniffled. “I’m sorry Kaitlyn. I’ll go then.”

I curled up in the bed and just let out a few frustrated cries.

A nurse entered the room and put a needle in my arm, and without any warning, pulled out the biggest needle I’d ever seen in my life and shoved it into my stomach.

The tears deepened. “P-Please take it o-out. I-I’ll take anything e-else!”

“Sorry sweetheart, I’m afraid there’s no other choices.”

I curled up into a ball and sobbed uncontrollably. I became paranoid and the only thing I could think about was that needle.

“Hey little worm.” I heard a familiar voice say.

“H-H-” I tried to say.

Brendon walked over and sat down beside me. “What’s going on?”

“Th-they put a r-really big n-needle in me.” I whimpered.

“Where?”

I hesitantly pointed to my stomach.

“Oh wow…” He murmured.

“I h-hate it and th-they won’t t-take it out and it h-hurts and I j-just want to be h-home!” I cried.

Brendon gently stroked my hair. “I know it’s hard right now little worm, but it’ll get easier. You won’t be here long, and soon enough we’ll be home together.”

“I-I’m sorry for h-hurting you.” I whispered.

“I’ve already forgotten about it. Don’t worry.”

I rubbed my stomach around the needle, hoping to soothe some of the pain.

“I’ll go see if I can organise some painkillers.” Sarah said, leaving the room.

“I h-hate it here.” I stammered.

Brendon nodded. “I know. But you have to be here, I’m sorry.”

I sniffled. “I j-just wanna go h-home.”

“You’ll be home soon.” He assured.

“Why am I crazy?” I asked.

“You aren’t crazy little worm. You just got trapped around horrible people.”

“I s-should’ve j-just ignored them. I-It’s all my f-fault.” I whispered.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not. Please don’t say that.” Brendon said.

“It a-always my f-fault.”

“It’s not Kaitlyn. This isn’t your fault. What happened to you isn’t your fault. Kaitlyn, you haven’t done anything. You just have the worst luck of anyone I’ve ever met.”

“I’ve been hurting people! It’s my fault, everything is! I always make it worse!” I sobbed into the pillow.

“You weren’t in control. It wasn’t you who hurt people. You’re okay Kaitlyn.”

“I hate myself.” I mumbled. “I’m always trying to get better because I’m too screwed up for my own good. I can’t even handle a day at school! I’m an incapable human being!”

Brendon looked hurt and he wrapped me in a hug. “If only you could see what I do. Then you’d see just how amazing you are, little worm.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Shh… Kaitlyn, don’t speak like that.”

“B-But I r-really don’t D-Dad!” I cried. “N-Nothing e-ever goes r-right!”

Brendon wiped a tear from my cheek. “So many things go right little worm. You just don’t see them.”

“Like what?” I asked.

“You coming to live with us, you getting a scholarship to an awesome school, you making awesome friends, there’s so many amazing things you do Kaitlyn. The awesome things you draw, you’re incredible.”

“I-I’m not.” I whimpered. “Y-you are th-though.”

“Little worm, you’re the awesomest person I know.”

“Y-you mustn’t have talked t-to a lot of p-people then.”

“I’ve travelled the world and met thousands. And I’ve never met anyone more awesome than you.”

“B-but there’s S-Sarah and y-your friends!” I stated.

“But you’re still the awesomest.”

“If you say so…” I mumbled, still not believing him.

Sarah returned with a nurse who changed the drip on the stand. “This has some painkillers in it.”

I looked away as she was changing it after deciding I’d had my fill of drips and tubes and needles.

“And done. I’ll be back in an hour to check up on you.” The nurse stated before leaving.

“I-I’m sorry a-about before Sarah…” I murmured.

“That’s okay bub. I understand.” She assured before sitting down.

“I-It was r-really mean though.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind.” She told me.

“W-what’s happening w-wth Nicole and J-Jaxon?”

“They’re at Gerard’s house.”

I frowned. “I-I’m such a p-pain.”

“You’re not little worm.” Brendon assured.

“W-why don’t y-you guys abandon me? I-It’d be easy?”

“Kaitlyn Grace!” Sarah gasped. “No! We’d never abandon you! We love you more than life itself!”

“BUT I KEEP MESSING UP!” I sobbed, curling up. 

Sarah hugged me tightly, and Brendon joined in. They didn’t say anything, they just hugged me while I cried.

“I l-love you guys.” I whispered.

“We love you too little worm.” Brendon whispered back.

“Thanks for being here.” I smiled slightly.

“Of course we’re here bub.” Sarah said. “We’d never leave you when you needed us most.”

“D-don’t you w-want to be at home?”

Brendon shook his head. “We want to be with you.”

“You guys are the best.” I smiled.

“We think you’re the best bub.” Sarah grinned.

“Thank you.” I pulled away and laid down on the bed.

“Are you feeling better?” Brendon asked.

I nodded. “I guess so, depends in what way.”

“Overall?” Sarah asked.

“Eh? The environment doesn’t help.”

“I imagine.” Brendon stated, looking around the room.

“I should just stop complaining.” I mumbled.

“It’s okay. We don’t mind. Much.”

I frowned. “Much…”

“It’s fine Kaitlyn.” Brendon assured.

“I guess so.” I mumbled, not loud enough to hear.

There was silence for a moment.

“I-It’s cold in here…” I mumbled.

“What would you like us to do bub? We can get your blanket from home if you want.” Sarah suggested. “It might make you feel a bit better too.”

I bit my lip nervously. “If you don’t mind…”

“Alright. Do you want to go Bren? I’ll stay here.”

Brendon nodded. “Of course. I’ll be back soon little worm.”

Sarah gave Brendon the keys and he left the room.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

It honestly killed me seeing Kaitlyn back in hospital. I would trade places in a heartbeat, but I can’t and that frustrates me.

I turned out of the hospital and took my usual route, following down around the side streets, avoiding Parkinson’s road at all costs. Just my luck, there was some sort of roadworks at the end of the street I was taking so I had to cut through Parkinson’s to get to the next side street. Luckily I managed to work out a route that allow me to get off the road quickly.

I sat in the right hand lane with my indicator on, ready to turn, when all of a sudden, I spotted a black car in my rear view mirror.

I felt myself getting nervous, but I brushed it off and just tried to focus on getting to the house.

The car turned out of my lane and started driving forward as it slowly changed into the speedy lane. I nervously began drumming my fingers on the steering wheel.

I tried to convince myself that these thoughts were irrational, and not to worry, but I was seriously beginning to regret not giving Sarah a proper goodbye.

The car was gaining speed behind me, and I watched as it grew closer and closer to me.

I mumbled profanities under my breath as I tried to get away from this car. After 10 years of contemplating what I should’ve done, I didn’t find myself following what I thought I would. I couldn’t even think properly.

I tried to turn the car sideways, but now considering that I was stuck in traffic, there was nowhere to go. I drummed my fingers even faster to try and expel some nervous energy as I kept my eyes on the car.

In an unexpected maneuver, the car came right up to my car and I heard a horrible noise. I closed my eyes, thinking that this was going to be the end.

I clenched my fists on the wheel and waited for death, and I sat like that until I heard the loud honking of the horn of the car behind me. I pulled into a small dead end street and sat at the side of the road, still in shock. I was shaking now, the terror finally catching up to me.

I pulled out my phone, not knowing what to do and called Sarah. As I waited, I felt the panic get worse and was almost unmanageable. 

“Hey Bren! What’s up?” She answered the phone cheerfully.

“I-I-” I tried to stammer. I tried to focus on taking deep breaths in to calm myself down enough to talk. 

“What’s going on Bren?”

“I-I c-can’t- I-I need help.” 

“Where are you Brendon?!”

“I-I don’t know. I-It’s some r-road off Parkinson’s.” 

“What happened Brendon?” She asked, growing quite concerned.

“A c-car, I think, i-it scraped along th-the side of the c-car or something. I-I don’t know!” I cried.

“What?! Okay, Bren, calm down. I’ll text Dr Jo now. I can’t really leave Kaitlyn.”

“O-Okay. J-Just, do s-something! Please!” I begged.

“She’s on her way Bren. Thank god for location sharing.”

“I-I don’t e-ever wanna drive again.” I whimpered.

“Just hold on Bren. She’s coming.” Sarah reassured.

“I d-don’t know if I c-can hold on!” I panicked.

“It’s okay Bren. You’re safe. You’re parked. You’re all safe.”

“I d-don’t know S-Sarah.” I whimpered. 

“Get out of the car Bren. That’ll help.” She instructed.

I tried to open the door, and after it wouldn’t budge, I panicked slightly before climbing to the other side and getting out there. 

“I-I’m out.” I breathed.

“Does that make you feel better Bren?”

“A l-little bit.” I stammered.

“Take a few deep breaths.” She instructed.

I followed her instructions. Eventually, Dr Jo’s car pulled into the street. Just seeing another car made me nervous, causing me to crumble into a fit of tears. I scooted away from the cars and curled up on the sidewalk.

“Brendon?” She asked as she approached me.

“I-I-” I stammered.

“Calm down, take a few deep breaths, then we’ll talk.”

I took a few deep breaths as instructed and looked up at Dr Jo.

“Alright, what happened?” She asked gently.

“I-I was o-on P-Parkins-sons and t-this c-car, t-this car w-was d-driving b-behind me a-and I c-couldn’t g-get a-away and i-it s-scraped m-my c-car and I-I t-thought I w-was going t-to die!”

“Okay, how do you feel?”

“H-Horrible!” I yelled.

“Shh...Calm down.”

I burst into another round of tears and curled up on the ground.

“I think you need to get away from here.” She murmured.

“I-I c-couldn’t d-do anything!” I wailed. “I-I should’ve d-died!”

“No, no, you shouldn’t have. It was a stressful situation Brendon. There wasn’t much you could do.” She assured.

I continued crying hysterically on the grass.

“Let’s go to the office. Being here isn’t doing you any good, and I have some medication there.”

“I-I’m n-never d-driving a-again!” I wailed.

“I’ll be driving Brendon. It’ll be fine.”

I shook my head in terror and backed away from her.

“What’s the problem Brendon?” She asked.

“I-I’m not g-getting i-in any c-cars.” I stammered.

“How do you expect to get around then Brendon? You can’t stay here forever.”

“I-I’ll walk…”

“You can’t walk everywhere. Come on Brendon, I’ll try to make it as less stressful as I can.”

I shook my head and backed away from her.

She sighed. “We can stay here for a little while longer, okay?”

“I-I’m just g-going to w-walk.” I stammered as I got up from my spot.

“Where to Brendon? Everything is so far away.”

I shrugged. “A-Anywhere I g-guess. H-Home?”

“I’ll go with you. You’ll be walking for awhile.”

I frowned and started walking down the road I thought I would have to take.

“Wrong way Brendon.”

“This i-is already h-hard.” I mumbled.

“Let’s just get in my car.” Dr Jo suggested.

I shook my head wildly. “I c-can’t.”

“You can close your eyes Brendon. I’ll put music on too.”

“W-What if t-the car c-comes back?!”

“It won’t come back Brendon. It basically fled a crime scene. It won’t come back.”

“C-Can I l-lie in the f-floor of the backseat?”

“Maybe not the floor….the seat, maybe?”

“C-Can I c-cover the window?”

“You don’t have to look out the window Brendon.”

I pulled my shirt off. “C-Can I c-cover it w-with this?”

“Brendon put your shirt back on. You don’t need to cover the window.”

“I-If you w-want me t-to get in the c-car, I n-need to c-cover the window.”

“Fine.” She sighed. “Just get in.”

I nervously got in the back seat and covered the window with my shirt so I wouldn’t see the road.

She started driving along and I was still freaking out, despite having covering the window. “I-I c-can’t d-do this!” I cried.

“You’re okay Brendon. We’re going really slow on all the side streets. Just take a deep breath.”

I took a deep breath and it helped slightly but I still felt horrible.

“Only 5 more minutes Brendon, you’re doing really well.”

“I w-want to get o-out.” I whimpered.

“Just hold on Brendon, we’re nearly there.”

“I-I can’t!” I cried.

“Yes you can Brendon.”

“I-It’s g-gonna happen again. Th-then there’ll be n-no one!”

“No it won’t Brendon. Because we’re here now.”

I quickly opened the door, grabbing my shirt on the way and rushed out of the car, not wanting to be in there any longer.

“Let’s go inside.” Dr Jo stated blandly as she approached me.

I walked inside, not thrilled with my surroundings, but we got to the office and I sat down quietly.

“So, Brendon, what were you doing on Parkinson’s road without anybody else?”

“I-I was trying to g-go down the side street b-but there were r-roadw-works. I w-was just trying to g-get off of th-the road!”

“I see. Where were you trying to go?”

“H-Home. I w-was going to g-get Kaitlyn’s b-blanket…”

“I see. Is Kaitlyn back in the hospital?”

I nodded. “Sh-she g-got in earlier today. J-Just before I g-got out.”

“Why is Kaitlyn back in hospital? Why were  _ you  _ in hospital?”

“Th-there was an incident…’’

“Can you explain?”

“K-Kaitlyn d-didn’t t-take her medication and l-lost c-control basically, a-and when I t-tried to help her sh-she stabbed me w-with a knife…” 

Dr Jo had a moment of silence. “She  _ stabbed _ you?”

I nodded hesitantly, not really wanting to believe it either.

“Oh god…” She murmured. “And they’re not institutionalising her?”

I shook my head. “N-Not as far as I-I’m aware. Sh-she calmed down and s-stuff with Indigo b-but she’s spending a f-few days in h-hopsital.” 

“Brendon, I just want you to know that there is a high chance she’ll be institutionalised over this, especially since she attacked you, which is illegal. There’s an even higher chance if you press charges.”

“W-well I’m not g-going to. I-I don’t want her b-back there though. I-It makes her s-so miserable.” 

“I know. But Brendon, sometimes, sane and miserable is better than happy and well, insane.”

“Sh-she’s fine now th-though.” 

Dr Jo changed the subject. “How is Sarah going?”

“G-Good, I suppose. Sh-she hates all this h-hospital stuff though.” 

“How’s she going with the baby?”

I smiled slightly. “It’s pretty good. All healthy so far.” 

“That’s good. Any upcoming scans?”

“There might be one next week. I’m not completely sure though.” 

“Do you know the gender?”

I shook my head. “Not yet.” 

“Do you want to?”

I shrugged. “I do, Sarah doesn’t, so we’ll probably just wait until it comes to find out.” 

“Are you excited for the new arrival Brendon?”

I nodded. “Definitely.” 

“Any names in mind?”

“We’ve discussed a few.” 

“Have you picked a nursery?” Dr Jo asked. “Because if I remember, it’s only a four bedroom house.”

“That is something I’ll have to look into. I didn’t think of that.” 

“The first thing I can think of is having the girls share a room, but it’s up to you. Any plans for a baby shower?”

“Sarah’s basically planned all of that out. She’s very excited.” I smiled.

“Sounds very exciting. How is Kaitlyn managing all of this?”

“She still thinks we’ll ignore her but I think she’s excited.” 

Dr Jo nodded. “Does she worry about being replaced?”

I nodded. “It’s like this constant nagging fear she has.” 

“I see. How are you and Sarah dealing with that?”

“We just try to talk her through it. She’s definitely warming up to it. I think all of this has sort of concreted the idea in her head that we aren’t going to ignore her.” 

“Well, that’s good then.”

I nodded. “She’s almost as stubborn as me, I swear.” 

That made Dr Jo chuckle slightly. “I don’t know if anyone could be as stubborn as you Brendon.”

“Practice makes perfect.” 

“Well, I have another patient in about 20 minutes, so if you want to go get Kaitlyn’s blanket, we can leave now and I’ll give you a ride.”

“That’d be great.” 

We went back to Dr Jo’s car and she drove me back to the house, where I grabbed Kaitlyn’s blanket from her bed. She then dropped me off at the hospital before driving back to see other patients.

I walked into Kaitlyn’s room with the blanket in hand.

She smiled when she saw me. “Hey Dad.”

“Hey little worm.” I smiled slightly, resting the blanket on her bed.

“Did Dr Jo help you?” Sarah asked quietly so Kaitlyn wouldn’t hear.

I nodded. “That’s why it took so long.” 

“T-Thanks f-for getting this Dad.” Kaitlyn murmured as she tucked herself in.

“It’s fine little worm.” I assured,

She just smiled and snuggled up slightly.

“What’d I miss?” 

“Not much. They started the feeding tube…” Sarah explained.

I nodded. “I see…” 

“I prefer this over eating…” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“Why’s that?” I asked. 

“Because it doesn’t feel like I’m eating at all...it’s just better because I don’t think about it, and plus this stuff in that tube is like, 0% fat.”

I sighed. “If you say so.” 

“That’s a sort of lie I said so that she’d actually not pull the tube out.” Sarah whispered in my ear.

“I see…” I murmured.

“Hmm?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Just talking about home stuff little worm. Don’t worry.” I lied.

She nodded unsurely. “Okay…”

“On that note,” I whispered to Sarah. “How are we getting home? Taxi?” 

Her face fell. “Where’s the car?”

“On the side of the road.” 

She groaned but nodded. “We’ll get the taxi to drop us at the car.”

I nodded. “Sounds good.” 

“It’s boring in here.” Kaitlyn stated.

“It is. I don’t know what to suggest though.” 

“Neither.” She mumbled.

Sarah handed Kaitlyn her phone. “You can play on that if you want.”

She smiled slightly. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Sarah responded.

Kaitlyn seemed pretty content to just play on her phone, so I sat down and did the same with mine.

“I’m gonna call Gerard.” Sarah whispered. I nodded and she got up from her seat to leave the room.

“What are you doing little worm?” I asked mindlessly.

“Not too much. Just playing games.”

“That’s cool.” I shrugged.

“What are  _ you _ doing?”

“Playing games.” I grinned.

She giggled. “You’re such a child.”

“What’s wrong with that?” I laughed.

“Nothing, I guess.” She whispered.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Mood swings?” She stated unsurely. “I don’t know.”

I shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“Being a girl sucks.” She murmured.

I didn’t respond, not really sure what to say.

“Sorry, that was random.” She apologised.

“Eh. It’s fine.” I shrugged, going back to my phone.

“When’s Sarah coming back?”

“I don’t know. She went to call Gerard. She should be back soon.”

She sighed. “Alright then.”

Sarah re-entered the room and sat back down next to me. “How’s everything in here?”

“It’s fine.” Kaitlyn mumbled.

A nurse poked her head in. “Visiting hours are over.”

Kaitlyn frowned. “Great…”

Sarah and I hugged her tight. “We’ll be back tomorrow little worm.”

“O-okay.” She whispered.

We said our final goodbyes before walking out the door to get a taxi.


	5. Chapter 4 - The Inclusion Kid

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

“Kaitlyn’s second day of school.” Sarah told me. “Take care of her this time Nicole.”

“I’ll try.” I grumbled.

“You’ll try your absolute hardest and you will not call her names or abandon her unless she has some other people to talk to.”

I sighed before walking out to the car.

Kaitlyn was already there, sitting in the back seat, tapping the arm rest nervously.

“We’ve got a maths quiz first up.” I stated simply.

Her face fell. “W-what?”

“Just warning you.”

“It’s fine little worm. They won’t make you do it, you haven’t been there.” Brendon assured.

“W-What if they do?!” She panicked. “I w-won’t know anything!” 

I rolled my eyes at her panic. It’d become usual by now.

Brendon dropped us off and I collected my books from my locker, with Kaitlyn trailing behind me the whole time like a lost puppy.

“You know where to go.” I mumbled.

“I-I don’t know…” Kaitlyn stammered. “W-What if I g-get lost?”

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. “Let’s go find your little friends and then you can see them while I go find my friends.”

She nodded glumly and trailed behind me as we walked down the hall.

“Kaitlyn the awesome sketcher!” I heard a boy call.

“Hi B-Byron.” She smiled slightly.

I smiled and patted her shoulder. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”

She nodded and walked over to him, before beginning a conversation. My friends approached me and didn’t look impressed. 

“You’re still hanging out with  _ her _ ?”

“She’s my sister. Parent’s are making me drag her around.” I groaned.

“She’s just a rat.” They stated, dragging me away to their lockers.

I nodded unsurely, not knowing if I would go  _ that  _ far.

“So, are you busy this afternoon?” They asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t think so.”

Another one of my friends, Annaliese, approached the group. “Hey Nicole, Lucy, Beck.”

I smiled. “Hey.”

“I heard the teachers over talking about your freak sister.” She whispered. “Apparently she’s one of the inclusion kids.”

I sighed. “Yeah. She is a bit screwed up like that.”

“Like, is she really dumb or is she crazy?” Beck asked. “Those are the two inclusion types.”

“Both.” I mumbled.

Lucy laughed. “Wow.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “Not a good person to be stuck with.”

“I can imagine. Is she super messed up at home too?”

“Y-” I went to say. “Not really.”

“Huh. Strange.”

“Yeah….she doesn’t handle social situations too well. Dunno why.”

“There she is now! Hang on, wait...is that...Byron?” Lucy asked in disbelief.

Beck frowned. “What is he doing with  _ her _ ?!”

“They’re friends. She’s not allowed a boyfriend though, so don’t worry.”

“Oh my god. Look at him. He actually likes her. And it’s not out of pity or anything!” Annaliese exclaimed.

“He won’t like her once he finds out what’s wrong with her.” I snickered.

“We’ll tell him at lunch.” Beck grinned.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…”

“He’s mine.” Lucy announced sternly. “Nobody else’s. And nobody, especially your freak of a sister Nicole, is getting in the way of that.”

“We shouldn’t call her a freak…” I murmured.

“But she is.” Annaliese snickered.

“She’s really not. You haven’t even gotten to know her.”

“She’s an  _ inclusion kid,  _ Nicole. It doesn’t matter if we know her or not. She’s insane. She’s a freak of nature.”

“You’ll be one if you don’t shut up.” I muttered under my breath.

The bell rang and the girls all smiled. “Let’s go to homeroom.”

We all walked into homeroom and sat at our usual table.

Mr Dennison walked in and did the usual thing of the roll and daily notices, before just leaving us to chat until it was time to head to class.

“Hey Byron!” Lucy called. “Why are you hanging out with that nutcase? You don’t have to get desperate. I’m here baby.”

“Because she’s awesome.” Byron responded, turning back to Kaitlyn.

“She’s not awesome! She’s one of those stupid inclusion kids! She’s making you stupider just by being near you. Get here!”

Byron seemingly didn’t hear them, or was just ignoring them.

Kaitlyn was tearing up and desperately sniffling to try to hide it. I wanted to go over and help her but the girls would hate me if I did. She’d get better on her own anyway, wouldn’t she?

Byron seemed to be helping her though, so I tried not to make eye contact and hoped that she’d forgive me.

The bell for first class rang and I saw Mr Dennison go over to Kaitlyn who was still crying.

“Come on Nicole.” Annaliese snapped at me. “Leave the freak to her own devices. We have a pop quiz.”

“Stop calling her a freak!” I countered, frustrated.

Annaliese frowned. “Let’s  _ go  _ Nicole.”

I followed her out of the classroom to Maths and I was getting worried when Kaitlyn didn’t turn up.

Byron showed up a few minutes later and sat down. He didn’t seem very happy, but that didn’t stop Lucy from trying to get his attention.

“Shut up.” He mumbled at first. “I don’t want to date a stupid blonde doorknob like you Lucy. It’s not hard to understand.”

She frowned and went back to the test paper in front of her.

I guessed all the answers, not caring too much before placing it on the teacher's desk and sat back down.

She went on to teach us some algebra when we’d all finished and when the bell rang, we all got up to go to different classes.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“Do you think she’s doing okay?” I asked Sarah, nervously tapping a pencil on the bench.

“I’m sure she’s fine Bren.” Sarah assured as she sorted through the fridge. “I can’t believe we’re out of pickles!”

I sighed. “I can walk to the store and get some if you want.” I offered.

She smiled. “That would be awesome Bren.”

I put on some shoes and grabbed my phone. “Call me if you think of anything else you want.”

She handed me a list. “Here.”

I groaned. “Alright. I’ll be back.”

“Can I help you with the shopping Daddy?” Jaxon asked nervously.

“Sure. Are you good with sitting in the stroller buddy?”

He nodded. “Uh huh.”

I got Jaxon situated in the stroller before heading out.

“What do we need to get for Mommy?” He asked.

“We need to get her some pickles and some stuff for dinner.” I answered.

He nodded. “Okay. Do we need to get anything for Nikki or Kaity or you?”

“Not as far as I know. Anything you want?”

He shook his head. “I just like that I’m not watching TV.”

“Alright. I’ll try to keep you entertained for as long as I can then.”

He shrugged. “It’s okay Daddy. You can shop. I just like looking around.”

“Is there anything in particular you want to look at?”

“Nope.”

We travelled down the pathway for quite some time. It was quite a walk but I still wasn’t ready to brave the car again. Jaxon was getting bored and was almost falling asleep.

“Sorry about taking so long bud.” I apologised.

“It’s not your fault.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“We’re here now.” I announced as I pushed the stroller into the store.

He stared at all the stuff at his eye level but eventually fell asleep. I felt guilty for dragging him along but I persisted and got everything Sarah specified.

I walked home, pushing the stroller back inside and carrying Jaxon to bed. “Sorry bud.” I whispered.

“Goodnight Daddy.” He mumbled sleepily before snuggling into the sheets and drifting off.

I smiled slightly and flicked the light off before I went to help Sarah put the groceries away.

“Thanks for going out Bren.” Sarah stated.

I shrugged. “It’s fine. Anything for my wife.”

She smiled and put the last few things away before she grabbed the pickles and sat down.

“The baby really likes pickles, huh?” I asked as I grabbed some soda.

She nodded. “Seems like it.”

“Pregnancy cravings are weird.”

“Very. This is probably the most normal craving I’ve had.”

I made a face. “What other cravings have you had?”

“Hybrid food.” She shuddered at the thought. “I had an apple covered in ketchup yesterday. Don’t know how I could eat that.”

I shuddered as well. “That’s horrifying.”

She nodded. “Pregnancy in general is weird. And painful.” She groaned. “Everything always hurts.”

“That sucks.” I mumbled. “Your bump is starting to show though.”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “I was looking at it this morning.”

I kissed her face. “You’re going to be an awesome mother to this baby.”

“And you’re going to be an awesomer father.” She responded. “Are you excited?”

I nodded. “Very.”

She groaned and out the jar down. “I’m going to take a warm bath.”

I pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Have fun. I’ll go get the girls from school.”

She nodded. “I’ll see you soon. Are you taking the car?”

My face fell. “Uh…no?”

“Alright. Stay safe Bren.”

I nodded. “I’ll be back soon.”

Sarah went to the bathroom and I headed out.

I reached the school sooner than expected and stood near the entrance, waiting for Nicole and Kaitlyn to come out.

Kaitlyn essentially raced out as the bell rang.

“Hey little worm!” I greeted.

“H-hi…” She panted.

“What’s up?”

“Just hasn’t been a good day.” She murmured.

“What happened?” I asked, growing concerned.

“Just Nicole’s friends calling me a freak and an idiot all day.”

“What?!” I exclaimed.

She shrugged. “It was to be expected.”

Nicole practically skipped out with a smile on her face. “Hi Dad! Where’s the car?”

“We’re walking. Why are you so chirpy?”

“I got invited to a sleepover!” She grinned.

“We haven’t even met your friends Nicole. How can we know you’re safe?”

Her face fell slightly. “They’re just people, I guess. What if I invite them over so then you can meet them, and then after I can go?”

“You can invite them over. I’ll decide whether or not you can go after meeting them, alright?”

Kaitlyn’s face fell and Nicole beamed with happiness before she tackled me in a hug. “Thanks Dad!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine, just be gentle, okay? I don’t want to be limping all the way home.”

She let go and grinned. “Sorry. Let’s go!”

We walked home with Nicole telling me all about her day and Kaitlyn walked in silence beside me.

“What about you little worm?” I asked. “Tell me about what you’ve been up to.”

“I went to Derek’s office?” She whispered.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I couldn’t calm myself down in homeroom…”

I noticed she was getting upset about it so I didn’t push any further.

We got home and everyone disappeared into their rooms.

“Hey Bren!” Sarah greeted.

“Hey Sarah.” I wrapped her in a hug. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.” She murmured. “Where are the girls?”

“In their rooms I think.”

“Have you spoken to them much today?”

“I was talking to Nicole the whole way home. Kaitlyn is bit down though.”

“Aww. Why?”

“Nicole’s friends are giving her grief.”

Sarah frowned. “Let’s go talk to her.”

I nodded and we walked into Kaitlyn’s room. She was laying in bed drawing in her sketchbook.

“Hey little worm.” I smiled as I walked in.

She quickly slammed the sketchbook shut and sat up. “H-Hi…”

“We wanted to talk about school.”

She bit her lip. “U-Uh...okay…”

“What happened? You said it was Nicole’s friends. What did they say exactly?”

“T-They c-called m-me f-freak and s-stuff…” She mumbled.

“What other stuff?” Sarah pushed.

“Th-that I w-was a nutcase a-and an i-inclusion kid, w-whatever that m-means and y-yeah…”

Sarah wrapped her in a hug. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that bub.”

“I-It’s not your f-fault.”

“It doesn’t matter little worm.” I joined the hug. “We’re still sorry.”

“I-’m just g-going to have to s-suck it up. I h-have to go to school, I g-guess.”

“We’ll talk to Nicole. Get her to stop her friends being so mean.” Sarah promised.

“They w-won’t. Th-that’s just w-what they do.”

“We’ll fix it little worm. I promise.” I vowed.

“W-What’s an i-inclusion k-kid?” She asked.

“Uh…..Sarah?”

Sarah bit her lip. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“I-It must b-be something. T-tell me, p-please?”

“Don’t worry about it bub. You don’t need to know.”

“But I want to…”

Nicole popped her head in. “What’s going on in here?”

“N-nothing…” Kaitlyn stammered.

She shrugged and headed back out.

“W-why d-don’t you w-want to tell me? I-It must be b-bad…” 

Sarah sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “The inclusion program is run through your school...it’s a program for kids who technically should be in a special school but due to their intelligence, the school includes them in regular classes with a bit of extra help to, um, help them.”

She frowned. “D-Do I really n-need extra h-help?” 

“How many times have you gone to the school councillor over the two days you’ve been bub?” Sarah asked in reply.

“3 or 4….”

“Your two friends, Dana and Phil. They’re also in the program. Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing big. It’s just a little helping hand.” I assured.

“I-I don’t think I n-need it though…”

“They assess whether you need it or not every semester. We’re doing it this semester, and if you don’t feel you need it next time, then we’ll let you make that choice.”

She sighed. “Alright…”

“Do you have any homework to do?” Sarah asked.

“N-not really.”

“I guess we’ll give you peace then. We’re out in the kitchen if you ever want to talk.”

She nodded and picked her pencil up before pulling her sketchbook into her lap.

“Whatcha drawing?” I asked.

“I-I’m drawing superheroes. L-Like Gerard.”

“That’s cool.” I smiled.

She nodded. “I-I’ve been drawing them a-all day. D-Do you want to s-see some?”

I nodded. “Sure.”

She went and flicked through a few pages at the end of her sketchbook. “Th-they aren’t t-too good b-but it’s fun.”

“Not good?! These are awesome little worm!”

She smiled. “Thanks Dad.”

I ruffled her hair and got up to leave. “Keep up the good work.”

“You too.” She grinned.

******* Sarah’s Point of View *******

“Dinner’s ready!” I called out to everyone.

Everyone came out to the table and sat down. Jaxon still looked half asleep as Nicole carried him out.

“So, how is everyone?” I asked as I handed everyone their food.

“Good.” Brendon smiled. “I have some news.”

“Spill.” I said, sitting down.

“So you know the baby shower?” He asked.

I nodded. “What about it?”

“Well,” He stated. “My family is flying down for the whole thing. Like, all of them. Mom, Dad, Matt, Mason, Kyla and Kara.”

I smiled. “That’s awesome Bren!”

He turned to the kids. “They can’t wait to meet you guys.”

“I can’t wait to meet them.” Nicole grinned.

Kaitlyn looked nervous. “W-Won’t they b-be disappointed when t-they meet me?”

“Of course not bub. Don’t worry about it.” I comforted.

She nervously bit her lip and looked down at her food.

“Now, Nicole, we need to talk.” Brendon stated.

She looked up. “What’s up?”

“I don’t think you’ll be going to that sleepover you wanted to go to.”

Her face fell. “Why?”

“Because your friends have been being mean to your sister.”

“I’ve been trying to stop them! I swear! It’s just because Kaitlyn made friends with this guy who’s like, the number one crush of most of the girls in the school and they’re super jealous because they want him.”

“You aren’t going unless there’s improvement.” He said sternly.

She nodded. “Of course.”

“When is it?”

“I think it’s this weekend.” She said.

“Alright.” He stated. “We’ll discuss it more on Friday.

She nodded. “Thanks.” 

I looked over to Kaitlyn who was still playing with her food. “Come on bub, you need to eat something.”

She shook her head. “I’m not hungry.”

“Just a little bit bub.”

She got up from her seat. “I said I’m not hungry!”

“Shh, bub, calm down.”

She huffed and ran out of the room.

I sighed and chased after her.

“Kaitlyn! Where are you?” I called out after I couldn’t find her in her room.

“G-Go away.” I heard a quiet voice beg.

“Kaitlyn?” I asked as I checked under the desk again with no success. “Where are you bub?”

The bookcase moved slightly and a small doorway was revealed. 

“Kaitlyn?” I asked as I walked inside the strange room.

She was curled up under a desk in silence and it didn’t seem like she was going to move.

So I went and sat down next to her.

“This is a nice spot.” I smiled slightly.

“I-I guess s-so.”

“What happened back there bub?”

“J-Just m-me being stupid…”

“Let’s just, go into a bit more detail. Why did you snap?”

Her face went red. “I-I don’t want to t-talk about i-it.”

“Well, we need to. Why did you snap bub?”

“Mood swings?” She mumbled.

“Are you sure that’s all it is?” I asked. “Because I’ve never, ever seen you snap like that before.”

“I-I don’t know. Th-there’s just a l-lot going on…”

“I know. Is that why you ran?”

“A-And I f-felt b-bad…” She stammered. “L-like, physically b-bad.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I f-felt l-like I was going to b-be sick and then th-there were cramps w-which is why I w-was sitting d-down. I-I didn’t throw up th-though, s-so that’s good, I g-guess?”

“That’s good.” I agreed.

“I-I just sort of w-wanted to c-curl up and w-watch a movie or something.”

I nodded. “Okay bub. We can do that. But you need to eat a little more first.”

“I-I can’t e-eat much though.”

“Anything’s better than nothing. Let’s go back to the kitchen.”

She nodded and followed me out to the kitchen. She picked at her food slowly but ate a little bit.

“Thank you bub.” I smiled slightly.

“C-Can we go snuggle u-up on the c-couch now?”

I nodded. “Of course. Can you bring the puppies inside?”

She brought the puppies inside and brought their food bowls in too before she came out to the lounge room.

“Hey little worm.” Brendon smiled, patting a spot he saved for her.

She sat beside him and snuggled into his lap. He wrapped a blanket around the two of them as we chose a movie to watch.

As I ate my pickles, I could help but smile as we all sat together. As a family.


	6. Chapter 5 - Sleepover Shenanigans

*******Nicole’s Point of View*******

“Stay safe, call us if you need us, okay?” Sarah reiterated.

I nodded. “Of course.”

I got out of the car and walked up to Lucy’s front door. I knocked a few times, and nervously waited for her to answer.

She opened the door. “Nicole! Come in! Everyone else is in the lounge already.”

I smiled and walked inside. “Nice house.”

She nodded. “Rich parents. It’s great.”

I nodded. “It’s pretty cool.”

She led me to the lounge room and I put down my bag before sitting on the blankets and pillows laid out on the floor with everyone else.

“Hey Nicole!” Annaliese greeted. “How are you?”

“I’m good. You?”

“Pretty good.” She grinned.

“What’d I miss?”

“Not much. We’re looking at Byron’s facebook page.”

“What’s on there? Anything interesting?”

“There’s lots of pictures.” Lucy stated. “He’s so hot!”

I chuckled awkwardly. “I guess so…”

“Look at this one! Look at those abs!” Annaliese pulled a photo of Byron up.

I turned away, honestly feeling horribly out of place.

“I don’t understand how someone can be so adorable but so amazingly hot at the same time.” Beck swooned.

“I don’t know how someone can be attracted to that.” I mumbled under my breath.

“And his little brother!” Annaliese pulled a picture of another boy up. “Oh my god, he’s almost as hot as Byron.”

“You guys are crazy.” I sighed, falling back onto the pillows.

“It’s like you're queer or something, far out. Who are you into?”

I went silent. “There’s this gir-guy called Luc-ifer….yeah.”

“Don’t lie. You can trust us.”

“Um...Lucifer. Yeah, he’s cool. His parent’s are like total devil worshippers though…”

Lucy frowned. “What school does he go to?”

“T-The one on Parkinson’s road?”

“What’s his last name?” Annaliese asked as she went to the computer. “Let’s look at pictures. Is he hot?”

“He doesn’t have a facebook account.” I stated. 

“Everyone has a facebook account. What’s his last name?”

“He doesn’t exist…” I mumbled.

“Lucifer Hennings? Is that him?” Lucy asked, pointing a picture of a guy around our age.

I nodded. “Yep.” 

“He’s my neighbour! Oh my god!”

The girls’ face shrivelled up. “He’s so ugly!”

I frowned. They had a point. I personally hated boys but even considering that, that dude was not appealing at all. 

“He’s got...a nice personality?”

“If you say so…” They mumbled.

“He’s such a geek!” Lucy exclaimed. “All he does is play video games and drink pepsi!”

“Yeah…” I stated nervously.

“How did you two meet anyway?” Annaliese asked.

“Family friends.” This lying thing seemed to get easier as it went on. 

“And you like him?” Lucy questioned.

“Y-Yeah…?”

She threw a pillow at me. “Nicole! Seriously! He’s disgusting!”

“Boys in general are disgusting!” I threw it back at her before falling silent.

The three girls stared at me blankly for a moment.

“What do you mean?” Beck asked.

“N-nothing…”

“Stop lying. Tell us what you mean.” Lucy said sternly.

“I-I don’t l-like guys…” I whispered.

“Are you like, a leso or something?”

“Yeah…” I answered shamefully. 

Everyone was silent for a moment as they took the information in.

“Get out of my house.” Lucy said after what felt like an eternity.

I glumly collected all my things and walked outside. Lucy slammed the door behind me, which just felt like a punch to the gut. Then the waterworks started.

I pulled out my phone and called Sarah, not wanting to be here any longer,

“What’s up Nicole?” She answered.

“I-I need to c-come home.” I sniffled.

“What’s going on?” She asked, immediately sounding more concerned.

“Th-they found o-out.”

“What happened after that?”

“L-Lucy told me to g-get out of her h-house…”

“Did they kick you out?”

“B-Basically…”

“I’m on my way. Are you okay?”

“I g-guess so.” I sniffled once more.

“You don’t sound okay Nicole.”

“I’m f-fine, I promise.”

“I’m turning into the street. Do you see the car?”

“Yeah. I-I’m hanging u-up.” I said before hanging up the phone. I walked to the end of the driveway to the car.

“Hey Nikki!” Jaxon greeted.

“Hey Jax.” I smiled slightly.

“Hey Nik.” Sarah said. “How are you feeling?”

I bit my lip as I closed the car door. “I j-just want to go home.”

She nodded. “Let’s go then.” 

She drove out of the street and there was a silent drive home. Jaxon kept trying to talk to me but gave up after awhile.

Sarah pulled into the driveway. “How does a quiet movie night sound? I got some popcorn!”

“Sounds great.” I smiled slightly as I got out of the car.

Sarah put a hand on my shoulder. “You know there’s nothing wrong with you, right? What happened back there, that was all just them being stuck up.”

“There is obviously something wrong though. They wouldn’t kick me out if there wasn’t.”

“No Nicole, there’s nothing wrong at all.” Sarah tried to assure.

“If you say so…” I mumbled.

She took my hand. “Let’s go inside and have a sleepover of our own. We can move the mattresses out into the lounge!”

I smiled and pulled my stuff out of the car before racing inside.

“Hey Nicole. What are you doing home?” Brendon asked.

“I got involved with horrible people.” I explained as I carelessly threw my bag onto the floor of my room. 

“I’m glad you finally figured that out.” Kaitlyn mumbled.

I wrapped her in a hug. “I’m so sorry Kaitlyn.”

“I-It’s fine…” She murmured.

“It’s not.” I frowned. “They were so mean to you.”

“I-It’s okay. It’s o-over now...I think.”

“Hopefully they’ll stop giving you grief. They have me to pick on now.”

Her face fell. “T-That’s worse!”

I shook my head. “It’s not. It’s fine.”

She hugged me. “I-I’d prefer m-me being b-bullied over you.”

“We’ll work it out.” I promised.

She sniffled. “O-Okay.”

“Mom and I were going to have a sleepover in the lounge. Care to join us?”

Kaitlyn’s face fell. “I-I, um, I d-don’t...I c-can’t…” She stammered.

“Why not? What’s up?”

“J-Just, i-it reminds m-me of t-the g-group h-home and a-all the t-terrible things t-that happened w-when they m-made me s-sleep in t-the l-lounge…”

“I’m sorry...that’s fine. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

She looked down at the ground. “S-Sorry for r-ruining y-your plans…”

“It’s alright. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I c-could t-try…” She mumbled.

“Only if you think you’ll be able to do it, okay? Don’t torture yourself.”

“I-I’m gonna try.” She finalised. “I-It’s time to l-leave the p-past and make n-new memories.”

I smiled. “Sounds good. I’m gonna bring the mattresses out.”

She gave me an unsure smile. “Do y-you want some h-help?”

“Sure.”

Kaitlyn and I carried her mattress along with mine out to the lounge, before we covered it in stuffed animals and blankets. It looked pretty awesome.

“This is really cool.” Kaitlyn smiled slightly, flopping onto the mattress.

I smiled. “It really is.”

Sarah came out with a bunch of pillows and dropped them onto the mattresses. “What should we watch?”

Kaitlyn and I shrugged.

“C-Can I st-stay w-with y-you g-guys?” Jaxon asked quietly.

I nodded and lifted him up onto the mattresses.

He snuggled up beside Kaitlyn until Brendon came out and lifted him onto the couch with him.

We all watched Disney movies, mainly for Jaxon, but no one seemed to mind. Once he was asleep, we watched random movies that’d been released recently. We didn’t really have dinner, we just sort of passed around a bunch of junk food while we were all snuggled up.

“T-This is better than I thought it would be.” Kaitlyn smiled.

“That’s good.” I responded, glad she was enjoying herself.

“Do you want to sleep out here with us too Dad?” Kaitlyn asked. “I think there’s room.”

He shrugged. “Why not? I’ll take the couch. You can chill down there.”

I smiled. “Awesome. The Urie family sleepover!”

Brendon chuckled. “Sure is.”

“Shh. Jax is sleeping.” Sarah reminded.

“Right, sorry.” Brendon whispered, stroking his hair.

“What’s the time?” Kaitlyn yawned.

“1 something, I think.” Sarah answered.

“Can we go to bed now?” She asked nervously.

“Of course bub.” Sarah whispered. She took all the bowls and rubbish to the kitchen to clear off the bed.

“This has been awesome. Thank you so much guys.” I smiled.

“It’s not problem.” Sarah assured. “It was super fun.”

Kaitlyn snuggled down into the bed. “This has been the first lounge sleepover I think I’ve ever actually enjoyed.”

Brendon smiled. “We’re glad we were here to share it with you.”

She shuffled up to hug him. “Thank you.”

“No problem little worm.” He whispered.

Sarah returned and snuggled into bed. Ollie trotted over and snuggled up next to her, before falling asleep almost immediately.

“Goodnight guys.” Brendon whispered.

“Night Dad.” I mumbled, before falling asleep.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

Once I was sure that everyone was asleep, I snuck out of the lounge and crept out to the studio. I pulled my new song up, and listened to it again. I hadn’t told anyone that I was making new music, for the sole purpose of that I didn’t want anybody to expect anything from me.

I’d drawn inspiration from the stabbing incident, and somehow, I’d managed to turn it into some sort of song. The lyrics were based around it, while also being vague enough to leave them open to interpretation. I thought it wasn’t bad, but it still needed some more work.

I’d tried adding new beats and random extra solos and such but nothing seemed to work. I didn’t want to change the lyrical content and it was basically complete so I’d decided I’d have to change the instrumental in some way. I picked up my bass guitar and plucked out a few rhythms. It took a good while, but I’d finally found something I could work with. 

I recorded it and put it into the song after working out the perfect place for it and started mucking around on the guitar. I was having a blast just screwing around with the instruments. It was like some weird musical therapy. 

In the spur of the moment, I decided to call Gerard to tell him about this awesome musical spike that I was having.

“What’s up Brendon?” He asked sleepily.

“Music is awesome! Wooo!” I cheered as I spun around on my chair.

“Yeah…?” He murmured, confused.

“I’m on this magical, musical spike Gee! I reckon this is some of my best work! Do you wanna come over and see it?”

He groaned. “It’s like 3am Brendon.”

“I know! Come over!”

“Right now?” He asked.

“Yeah! Right now!”

He sighed. “Fine.”

I grinned. “See you soon Gee. Do you reckon Patrick wants to come over too?”

“Not right now, no.”

I shrugged. “I’m going to invite him anyway.”

“Fine. I’m hanging up. Bye Brendon.”

“See you soon Gee!” I giggled as he hung up on me.

I then called Patrick while I waited.

“It’s 3 in the morning Brendon!” Patrick answered, seemingly not very happy with me. “What on earth is so important that you need to call me at three in the morning?!”

“It’s musical genius Patrick! You need to come over!”

“What?!”

“You need to come to my house! Gerard is too!”

There was a moment of silence.

“Goodbye Brendon.” He said coldly.

“Bye!”

The call ended with a few abrupt beeps.

Eventually, Gerard came over and joined me in the studio. 

“Hi Gerard!”

He still looked half asleep. “Alright. Show me the musical genius so I can go home, back to bed.”

I directed him to the computer and got him to sit down at the desk. He put the headphones on and started it excitedly.

“What’dya think?” I asked when he took the headphones off.

“I don’t know.” He murmured.

“Well, do you like it?”

“Yeah, I guess?”

I frowned. “What’s wrong? Why don’t you like it as much as I do?”

“It just sounds familiar.”

“What do you mean?” I asked nervously.

“I feel like I’ve heard it before. I don’t know where though.”

“H-Have I accidentally plagiarized?” I stammered.

He shook his head. “It just reminds me of something.”

“What thing?”

“I’m not sure.” He mumbled.

I frowned and sat down. “Am I evoking too much emotion?”

“Let me listen again. I’m more awake now.”

I handed him back the headphones. “Here.”

He listened to the song again. “Can I change something? It’s super small.”

I nodded. “If you want to.”

He moved a few things around and listened to it again.

He handed me the headphones. “You listen.”

I nervously put them on my ears and Gerard pressed play. The beginning was recognisable, but when I heard his small change, I couldn’t help but smile.

“That slight pick up makes it so much more...interesting.”

“That’s what I was going for. I didn’t want to change it much.”

“This is awesome.” I smiled as I placed the headphones down.

“Can I ask why you’re in the studio at, what is it now, 4am?”

I shrugged. “Inspiration hits at random times.”

“I see…”

“I’m sorry for waking you up. I just got excited.”

“It’s fine. What’d Patrick say?”

“He got mad at me…”

“That sucks. He doesn’t deal with being woken up well, I suppose.”

I nodded. “Yeah. At least you came.”

“I was glad this was all it was. I thought something had happened to you.”

“Sorry if I scared you.”

He shrugged. “It’s alright. It’s good to see you again anyway.”

I smiled. “Same here.”

“Does Sarah know you’re in here?”

I shook my head. “She’d get mad.”

“Have you slept at all?”

“Nope!” I grinned.

He shook his head. “You’re nuts Brendon. You need sleep.”

“Sleep is for the dead.”

“I’m dead now, am I?”

I frowned. “If you’re so tired, you can go home. I’m going to stay in here a while longer. Is it weird that I feel like drumming?”

“I don’t know. Is it?”

I shrugged as I picked up my drumsticks. “My medication has a side effect of making me not tired.”

“That can’t be good for you Brendon.” He mumbled.

I shrugged. “I can’t help it. So I try and put it to good use.”

“Alright. Well I’m going home. Bye Brendon.”

I waved. “See you later Gee.”

He walked out of the studio and I was left alone to my drumming.

“Brendon!” I heard Sarah yell after about 10 minutes.

I put the drumsticks down and walked out of the studio to see what was up. 

“What are you still doing awake?!”

“Working?” I answered, thinking it was obvious.

“It’s nearly 4:30!”

“I think I’ve got something really good Sarah.”

“It can wait till the morning!” She snapped. “Bed! Now!”

“I’m not going to fall asleep Sarah. I’m still fully awake.”

“Doesn’t matter. Go to bed.”

“Why aren’t  _ you _ asleep?”

“Because that damned drumming woke me up!”

“Well I’m sorry that I’m trying to do something productive. Never again!” I snapped, walking right past her to the bedroom.

“Brendon!” She called. I heard her coming towards the bedroom.

“Go away Sarah!”

I flopped onto the bed and felt her sit beside me. 

“What’s up Bren?” She asked, rubbing my back. “You haven’t snapped like that in a while.”

“I was just excited about the music. I was on a spike. I’m just annoyed you stopped me. Sorry for waking you up though.” I murmured.

“It’s alright. I’m just a bit concerned since you haven’t had much sleep lately.” She said, brushing some hair out of my face.

“It’s the stupid medication. That’s why I can’t sleep. You know this.”

She sighed. “Can you at least try? If it’s not working then we’ll get some sleeping pills, because you can’t go on like this Bren.”

I groaned. “Please no more pills.”

“I guess you’ll have to start exercising or something Bren. To wear you out. So that you might sleep. Maybe you can go running with Nicole in the mornings.”

I sighed. “But I’m not fit enough for that?”

“Doesn’t matter. She can be your personal trainer!”

I groaned again and Sarah smiled slightly, quite pleased with her solution.

“You only know I’m trying to help you Bren.”

“I know.” I grumbled. “I’m not just a running person.”

“Well, are there any other sports you’d like to play? It just needs to be daily. We can get you a gym membership if you’d prefer.”

I shook my head. “I’d rather not.”

“Well then it’s settled. You’ll go running with Nicole.”

I sighed. “I need new shoes.”

“Well, we can go shopping later. But for now, we need to sleep.”

I nodded. “Fine.”

Sarah took my hand and led me back to the lounge, before snuggling up with me on the couch. She fell asleep almost immediately, leaving me stuck so I couldn’t get up. I tried to close my eyes to get some sleep, but nothing seemed to work.

When the sun started to rise, the puppies woke up and ran outside through the dog door, barking and yapping and playing a tug of war with some of their toys. I was pleased that they decided to play outside the window, so I wasn’t staring at the ceiling.

Nicole was the first to wake, and got up quite early, presumably to go for her run.

“Nicole!” I whispered, trying not to wake Sarah.

She seemed quite startled to see I was awake. “Hey Brendon. What are you doing up at this hour?”

“I can’t sleep. And I can’t get up because Sarah’s practically lying on me.”

“I see. What do you want me to do exactly?” She asked, still confused.

I shrugged. “I’ve been lying here for almost 3 hours. I guess I wanted to speak to someone, make human contact.”

“Um, okay? What do you want to talk about?”

“I hadn’t gotten that far yet.” I chuckled.

“Why are you awake?”

“I was going to go for a run. Like I do every morning.” She explained.

“That makes sense, I suppose.” I responded.

“Do you, er, want some help?”

“If it’s not too much trouble...”

She gently peeled Sarah off me so I could escape, before putting her down on the couch with some pillows to hug instead of me.

“Thanks.” I smiled slightly.

She shrugged. “No problem. I’m going to go get ready for my run…”

“Alright. Stay safe, okay?”

She smiled as she walked back towards her room. “Always do Brendon.”

“I know, I know.” I stated. “I’m just a paranoid father.”

She smiled. “I’ll be fine Dad. Don’t worry.”

“I’ll try not to.” I assured. “No promises though.”

She gave me one last smile before going into her room to get changed.

I wandered back in the studio, being more wary as to be quiet so no one was woken up.

I opened my computer and put my headphones back on, playing the song to myself again. I smiled slightly as I heard it, it was sounding better and better.

After a bit more fiddling around, the door opened. 

“Brendon…” Sarah sighed. “Did you sleep at all?”

I shook my head. “I told you the medication was keeping me awake!”

“Alright. We'll have to sort something out. What’s going on in here?”

I handed her the headphones. “Listen to this.”

She put them on and sat down. 

I pressed the play button and carefully examined her facial expression as the song began to play.

She took the headphones off at the end of the song. “That’s really good Bren.”

I smiled. “Thanks Sarah.”

“Can you come inside for breakfast now? I need your help.”

I nodded. “Sure. What do you need help with?”

She sighed. “I’m worried Kaitlyn’s going backwards. She hasn’t really eaten anything for two days, and when I tried to get her to eat breakfast, well, she screamed and ran out of the room.”

“Hmm. I’ll talk to her.”

Sarah hugged me. “Thanks Bren.”

“It’s no problem. Hopefully I can sort it out.”

I walked back in the house and walked into Kaitlyn’s room, where I couldn’t see her anywhere.

“Kaitlyn? Where are you little worm?” I called.

“H-Here.” I heard a small whimper from under the bed.

I bent down and found her hiding there. “Can you come out for me?”

She shook her head. “N-No…”

“Why not little worm?”

“S-Sarah w-was g-going to m-make me eat!”

“Why don’t you want to eat?”

“I-I c-can’t!” She exclaimed, not really answering my question. “I-I c-can’t!”

“Why can’t you eat?”

“B-Because…B-Because I-I’ll be s-sick!”

“You won’t be sick. We don’t give you that much little worm.”

She squirmed back away from me. “I-I d-don’t w-want to e-eat.”

“I figured. Why not?”

“B-Because I d-don’t!”

“That’s not a good reason. Please, just talk to me Kaitlyn.”

“I-I don’t w-wanna g-get f-fat…” She whimpered.

“You aren’t going to get fat little worm, I promise.”

“I-I already a-am…”

“You aren’t at all. You’re way too skinny. It scares me little worm. When you don’t eat, it means I might lose you and I don’t want to even imagine that.”

She shook her head. “I-I’m not e-eating.”

I felt genuine tears start forming. “Please Kaitlyn, for me.”

She rolled away so she wouldn’t have to look at me. “N-No.”

“Fine. If you don’t eat I won’t.” I stated simply.

Her face fell slightly, but she stood her ground. “T-That’s y-your choice.”

“So you’d let me hurt myself just so you don’t have to eat?”

She started crying, still not facing me.

“That’s what you’re doing little worm. You’re hurting yourself. And you’re saying you’d let me do the exact same thing,”

“SHUT UP!” She screamed in an unexpected burst of aggression.

“Please, calm down Kaitlyn. We’re talking. You don’t need to yell.”

“L-Leave.” She instructed.

“I’m not letting you stay in here forever. You need to come out.”

“I-I’m fine.” She said firmly. “I-I’ll come out when I want to.”

“No, you’re coming out now.” I said firmly.

“I’m not. You can’t make me.”

“You’re to follow my direction. I am the adult in this situation, therefore, I have greater power. You are going to come out right now.”

“I-I’m s-scared…” She whispered. “I-I can’t come o-out yet.”

“What can’t you come out? What are you scared of?”

“T-That y-you’re g-going to m-make me e-eat…”

“Not much. Just a little bit.”

She shook her head. “I-I’m staying here.”

“I made it very clear that you weren’t.”

“Y-you can’t make m-me move if I d-don’t want to.” She raised a tone of defiance.

“Kaitlyn, you are coming out from under that bed right now.” I reinforced.

“N-No, I’m not!”

“Yes you are.” I said firmly.

“No, I’m not.”

“Kaitlyn Grace Urie, you are going to come out from under that bed right now!”

“I-I’m not! And you c-can’t make me!”

“Yes you are!”

“N-No!” She yelled.

“GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!”

“NO!” She screamed at me.

I grabbed her arm and ended up dragging her from under the bed.

“LET GO OF ME!” She screamed, throwing her arms everywhere to try and get out of my grip.

“No! You are going to eat right now! No debates!”

She screamed and threw her arms around more urgently.

“Calm down. We’re going out to the kitchen.”

“NO!” She yelled. “P-Please n-no!”

“You need to eat.” I stated. “Not even a lot, just something. You need to eat something.”

“I-I don’t!” She debated. “I-I’m fine! I’m not even hungry!”

“You do need to eat. You’re going to end up in hospital.”

“N-No I’m not. I’m f-fine.” She whispered, sitting down on the bed hesitantly. 

“Get up Kaitlyn. Now.” I demanded.

“P-Please no. I-I feel faint.”

“That’s why you need to eat.”

“C-Can you bring it i-in here?”

I sighed and carried her out to the kitchen. She gave me a sort of death glare when I pushed the bowl of cereal in front of her.

“Eat Kaitlyn. Now.”

She gulped slightly and took a bite before putting the spoon down.

“More.”

She started shaking at my request, but took another bite.

“The whole bowl, Kaitlyn. There’s not much there. Finish it.”

“P-Please, n-no…”

“Eat it Kaitlyn. Now.”

She shook her head and curled up. “N-No more, please.”

“Sometimes I have to be tough for your own good. Eat Kaitlyn. Now!”

She whimpered and began crying.

“Dammit.” I muttered as I loaded the spoon and walked over. “Open your mouth.”

Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth slightly.

I shoved the spoon in. “Now swallow.”

She shook her head and tried to pull the bowl back.

“No, swallow.”

She made a horribly pained face as she swallowed the mouthful. “P-Please D-Daddy, n-no more!” She whimpered.

“I’m sorry Kaitlyn, but you need to eat.” I apologise as I loaded the next spoon.

Tears were flowing freely as the next spoonful went into her mouth and she swallowed.

“Thank you little worm. I reckon there’s 5 more here, and we’ll be done.”

She sniffled and tried to shuffle away from me.

“That’s not going to work. Sorry, but this is what has to be done.” I said as I pushed the next spoon into her mouth.

“W-Why do y-you hate m-me?” She cried.

“I don’t hate you little worm.” I sighed. “I’m doing this because I love you.”

“I-It doesn’t f-feel like it…”

“I know. But it’s the truth.” I sighed as I fed her the next spoonful.

“I-I feel s-sick…”

“You’re fine Kaitlyn. Here comes the next one.”

As soon as I took the spoon out, her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

“Kaitlyn?”

She sprinted off the chair and to the kitchen, where she positioned herself above the kitchen sink. I sighed as all my hard work went down the sink, quite literally.

“I-I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I-I didn’t m-mean to…”

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Lunch, you’re eating. No exceptions.”

She frowned and walked to the bathroom. 

“Thanks for trying Bren.” Sarah gave me a half smile.

“I don’t know how to help her.”

“I’m going to organise a doctor’s appointment. I’m honestly worried about her health at this point.”

I nodded. “That’s probably a good idea.”

I heard a slight crash in the bathroom and went in to see what was going on. Kaitlyn was sitting on the floor with various products from the basin on the floor beside her. She didn’t even look up at me when I came in.

“What’s going on little worm?” I asked as I looked around at the products.

“I-I fell. N-Now I c-can’t get up…”

I bent down next to her. “What do you mean?”

She shrugged. “I j-just can’t p-pull myself up o-off the ground. I t-tried and fell again…”

I pulled her to her feet. “Is it just weakness or are you feeling faint? Are you having chest pains?”

“O-Only a little bit. It’s n-nothing though.” She grabbed onto me as she wobbled around.

“Woah, woah, okay. Let’s go out to the kitchen and we’ll have a good look at what’s going on.” I said as I scooped her into my arms.

“I-I’m sorry…” She whispered.

“It’s fine.” I assured as I put her down on a kitchen stool.

“C-Can I s-sit on the chair? I-I feel like I’m g-going to fall.”

I nodded and moved her. “Is that better?”

“Th-thank you.” She stammered.

Sarah walked in. “What’s going on?”

“I-I don’t know…” Kaitlyn whispered.

“Apparently she’s got minor chest pains and when she fell to the ground in the bathroom, she couldn’t get up.” I explained.

“I-It’s nothing. D-Don’t worry…” She stammered. She curled up slightly on the chair and rested her head on her knees.

“Are you alright bub?” Sarah asked. 

She nodded slightly. “Y-Yeah…” She murmured. 

She swayed a bit before fainting in the seat. Her head banged on the table and she didn’t wake up. 

“What should we do? Should we wait for her to wake up? Should we take her to the hospital?” I asked nervously.

Sarah gently lifted her head off the table. “I think we should take her in. Just to be safe.”

I nodded. “Alright. What about Nicole and Jaxon?”

“We can drop them off at the Way’s.”

“Okay. Nicole! Jaxon!” I called, walking toward the bedrooms.

Nicole carried Jaxon out. “What's up?”

“We have to take Kaitlyn to the hospital so we’re dropping you two off at Gerard’s, okay?”

Her face fell. “Is Kaitlyn okay?”

“I think so. We’re just taking her there to make sure.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

We all got into the car, and after dropping the kids off, I was becoming much more anxious. The situation, plus being back in a car didn’t help but I knew I needed to be here for Kaitlyn, so I tried to ignore it.

“Bren can you check her pulse?” Sarah asked nervously. “Is it regular or is it all over the place?”

I quickly checked it. “Well it certainly isn’t normal…”

Sarah took a sharp breath in. “At least we’re nearly there.”

Sarah pulled into the carpark and I carried her in. We were quickly greeted by nurses and doctors who took her from us.

We were directed to a waiting room with a bunch of other people sitting around, holding hands and whispering comforting things to each other as they waited for their loved ones. Sarah and I nervously sat down, hoping it was only something minor.

I was feeling way too overwhelmed and ending up crying in that stupid waiting room.

“Shh. I’m sure she’ll be fine Bren.” Sarah soothed.

“W-what if she’s n-not though?” I stammered.

“I don’t know Bren. I don’t know.”

I took a deep breath in. “I’ll b-be in the bathroom…”

Sarah took my hand. “Are you sure you want to go by yourself? Actually that was a stupid question… Are you sure it’s good to be by yourself right now?”

“I-I don’t know. M-Maybe?”

“Just, sit down. If you need to go, use the handicapped so if worst comes to worst, I can get in there to help you.”

“I th-think I’ll be f-fine.” I stammered, walking into the mens bathroom.

Sarah nodded unsurely. “Okay Bren. I trust you.”

I walked in and just sat at the sink for a while, taking some deep breaths. The separation really seemed to help me calm down.

After I splashed my face and regained some stability, I nervously walked back out to the waiting room. Sarah was on the phone, presumably to Gerard or Lindsey.

She hung up the phone and flopped onto the chair.

I sat down beside her silent as we waited. 

“Mr and Mrs Urie?” A doctor called.

I took Sarah’s hand and we walked into a small office, not a hospital room. 

“W-Where is she?”

“We’ll come to that in a moment. Please, sit down. Can I offer you some water?”

“No thanks.” Sarah answered for both of us. 

“Y-Yes please.” I whispered. I digged through Sarah’s bag and got out my emergency medication.

She patted me on the back as I took the medication. The doctor seemed slightly confused but shrugged it off.

“Well, let’s talk about Kaitlyn.” She stated as she tapped some things up on her computer.

“Is sh-she okay?” I stammered nervously.

“Well…” She took a deep breath in. “She’s um…”

“What is it?!” I asked.

“She’s not exactly stable right now…”

“What do you mean? What’s going on with her?” Sarah asked.

“Well we’re concerned her heart is still playing up. We just aren’t sure how to fix it. It stopped for about 2 minutes earlier and they were barely able to get it going again.”

“Oh god…” I murmured as all the blood drained out of my face.

“The only real option we have at this moment is a transplant but even then, we’ll have to wait and we aren’t sure if she’ll make it.”

“Transplant? A heart transplant?!” Sarah stammered.

“I know, it’s scary. If there are any other options we’ll keep you informed. You can see her, she’s in ICU now.” She said quietly. “She’s not actually conscious though.”

Sarah nodded. “Is there anything we can do to help at this point?”

“Not at this stage, no.”

“Well, thanks anyway. Can we see her?”

The doctor nodded and led us to the ICU and to Kaitlyn’s ‘room’. 

“She looks terrible Bren.” Sarah whispered.

I nodded. “I hope she’ll make it.”

“S-She’ll make it Bren. She will. We just have to believe.” Sarah whispered as she snuggled into my shoulder.

I noticed the quiet beeping of the heart rate monitor getting slower, so I pointed it out to Sarah.

“Go get a doctor Bren.”

I jumped up and got a doctor from nearby. They came in and before long, she was taken out of the room. We were taken back to the doctor’s office.

Sarah hugged me tightly as we waited for news. I could tell she was terrified.

“We need to operate. We have a heart, we just need your permission.”

I gulped. “W-What are the c-chances?”

“50/50? At best?”

“What are the odds if we don’t?” Sarah asked.

“If you don’t, her time left will 

be limited.”

The doctor pushed a form in front of us. “You need to sign this so we can operate.”

“I-I don’t know Bren…”

“I don’t think we have a choice Sarah.”

She hesitantly signed the form before handing it to me.

I quickly scrawled my name along it before handing it back to the doctor. “Just, take care of her, okay?”

“We’ll do our best.”


	7. Chapter 6 - Hospital Policy

“What if it doesn’t work Sarah?!” I cried. Kaitlyn was in the operating theatre right now and I was terrified. 

“Shh, calm down Bren. We can’t do anything.”

“Brendon, Sarah? Would you like to see her?” A nurse asked gently.

“What, why? What happened?”

“There, uh, was a slight complication. She’s currently out of the theatre. We just thought you may want to see her since after this we’ll be going into the dangerous part of the operation.”

I nodded and we walked into the room. Kaitlyn was hooked up to every machine imaginable and her body was resting limp on the bed. The nurse left Sarah and I with her. 

“O-Oh my g-god Sarah…”

Sarah walked over and sat down next to her. “Hey bub... I know you’re asleep and can’t really hear us, but, well, there’s always a chance.”

“W-what if we don’t ever actually g-get to talk to her again?!”

Sarah seemingly ignored me, but bit her lip nervously. “We’re so proud of you for going through all this bub. You’re so brave.”

“I-I can’t- I-I’m sorry. I’ll be b-back.” I stammered.

Sarah glanced up at me. “Are you okay Bren?”

“M-Maybe?”

“Look, I know it’s a lot to ask, but I don’t think you should leave. I mean, if worst comes to worst and i-if this is the l-last time w-we ever get to see her…” Sarah trailed off, blinking back tears.

I gave up trying to hold the tears and sat down. “Sh-she needs to m-make it.” I whispered. “Sh-she can’t d-die. N-Not like this.”

Sarah sniffled and gently stroked her hair. “She’ll make it Bren. W-We just need to believe…”

A doctor then came in quietly. “Um, sorry, but, well, you have to leave now…”

“S-She’s gonna m-make it, right?” I stammered.

“Hopefully.” They murmured.

Sarah let out a muffled sob.

We walked out of the room and back to the waiting room. I took her hand and tried to squeeze her hand periodically to assure her, but it was hard when I wasn’t sure myself.

“I-I’m so s-scared Bren…” She whispered.

“I know. S-so am I.”

A nurse came out and suggested we go downstairs while the surgery went ahead, as it was going to take several hours, but neither Sarah or I felt up to leaving, so we just sat and waited.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was getting late and both us were getting tired. The hospital staff let us stay past visiting because of the circumstances and the waiting room was quiet. Too quiet, even.

My phone started ringing, and I answered it.

“How’s everything going?” Gerard asked.

“Still w-waiting.” I yawned slightly. I was sure my fear and anxiety was all that was keeping me awake.

“That sucks.” Gerard acknowledged. “Everything’s going okay here, I guess. Bandit and Jax have already gone to bed, but Nicole is still a little freaked out by everything and won’t sleep.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“Sure. I’ll put her on now.”

There was a bit of rustling before Nicole answered. “I-Is she okay?” She whispered.

“U-Um...she’s in surgery at the moment. But we think she should be okay.”

“O-okay…” She whispered. “D-Do you know when y-you are coming home?”

“I don’t know yet. Hopefully tomorrow we’ll come and see you, or maybe Gerard will bring you to see us.”

“O-Okay Dad…”

“Do you want to speak to Mom?” I asked, looking at Sarah.

“Y-yes please.”

I passed the phone to Sarah and looked back at the clock. Kaitlyn had been in surgery for almost 4 hours now.

After a little while, and a few more tears from Sarah, she hung up and handed me the phone.

“Are you okay?” I asked as I pulled her into a side-hug.

“As okay as I could be, I guess.” She sniffled.

I nodded. “Do you want something to eat or drink?”

She shook her head. “No thanks.”

I nodded. “She should come out soon…”

“H-Hopefully…”

“How was Nicole?”

“Worried, scared. Basically the same as us.”

“I suppose that’s understandable.” I mumbled.

A doctor then came up to us. “Mr and Mrs Urie?”

We both stood up. “Yeah? Is Kaitlyn okay?”

She nodded. “So far, there hasn’t been any issues. She’s been moved into a room now if you want to see her. She just has to be heavily monitored to make sure her body doesn’t reject the organ.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Can we see her now?”

“Of course. Follow me.”

Sarah and I followed the doctor down a corridor, before he opened the door to a room. Kaitlyn looked similar to last time we saw her, although there weren’t as many machines.

We sat down for a little while and shared a few small reassuring gestures and in those few minutes, many doctors had come in and out, checking her vitals.

“S-She made it Sarah…”

Sarah nodded slightly. “I guess so.”

“We should probably text Gerard and let him know that’s she’s okay.”

Sarah nodded. “It might give Nicole some peace of mind too.”

I pulled my phone out and quickly sent Gerard a text. “There, done.”

Sarah went closer to Kaitlyn and took her hand. She wasn’t sad or distraught though. A small smile formed on Sarah’s face.

“Why are you smiling?” I asked.

“Relief, I guess. And I’m proud of her for pulling through.”

“So I am.” I agreed.

We were interrupted by a light cough. “S-sorry…” 

“Kaitlyn?” I asked, turning to face her.

“H-hi…”

“Bub you’re awake!” Sarah grinned. “How are you feeling?”

“I-I don’t know. S-Scared? C-Confused?”

“You’re okay now bub. You’re okay.” Sarah assured.

“O-Okay…” She whispered.

“I cannot tell you how glad we are to see you’re okay.”

“W-What happened exactly?”

“Um...Your heart was playing up so badly that the doctors, um, you’ve had a heart transplant…”

“W-what?” She stammered.

“It’s okay though. It all went well, and you’re all okay now.”

“W-When did this h-happen?”

“This afternoon…”

She took a deep breath in. “Okay...so, no more problems?”

“Hopefully not then.” I nodded.

She looked uncomfortable. “I-I have somebody else’s heart inside my body…”

“Well, yeah….”

She shuddered. “I-It’s w-weird…”

“I imagine.” I responded. “But at least you’re okay.”

She scratched her chest. “I w-want my own heart back…”

“I’m sorry little worm…”

“A-And now I have a big scar too…”

I wrapped her in a hug. “We just wanted you to be okay.”

She sniffled. “W-why does this keep happening to me? I just want to be normal!”

“I don’t know bub. I really don’t know.” Sarah whispered.

She sniffled and curled up in the bed. “I-I just want to go home now.”

“Hopefully you can soon. We’ll have to see.”

“This sucks.” She mumbled.

“I’m sorry little worm.”

“Don’t apologise. It wasn’t your fault. It was my own.”

“It wasn’t your fault bub.” Sarah assured.

“Yes. It was.” She responded.

“You did nothing little worm. It’s not your fault.”

“Last t-time I was in the hospital...one of the nurses told me the reason I had a heart condition was because I wasn’t eating enough. If I had just.. If I had just eaten something, I wouldn’t be here. I mean...you guys tried and tried and it’s all just my own bloody fault that I’m here right now.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s the disorder’s fault Kaitlyn. You didn’t eat because of the disorder. It’s not your fault.”

“I-It is…” She whimpered. “It’s my f-fault that I got the disorder. Everything is my fault. And that’s the truth.”

“It’s not your fault. You were raised around terrible people.”

“T-That’s probably my fault too, knowing how I always mess everything up..”

We didn’t respond and just held her in a tight hug.

“Why do you even stick around me? All I ever do is make things hard for you, disappoint you, cost you money, I don’t understand it at all.”

“Because we’ve made a connection bub. We love you so much. All this stuff makes us love you so much more.” 

“A connection isn’t worth all this. You should’ve left a long time ago.”

“Maybe we’re just crazy.”

“You can’t be crazier than me.”

“I don’t know.” I mumbled. “I can try.”

“D-Don’t try! Why would you try to be as crazy as me?! That’s insane!” 

“Because it’d make you feel better. You wouldn’t feel so crazy, insane if you must.”

She shook her head. “I-I like it better when you’re normal. I don’t want you to have to deal with all this.”

“To an extent, I already do.” I murmured.

Kaitlyn sighed. “I don’t want you to know what it’s like to have voices screaming horrible abuse at you 24/7 unless you’re packed full of pills that make you so paranoid of everything that you can’t trust anyone. I don’t want you to have to see things that aren’t there. I don’t want people to have to give you terribly sympathetic looks and tell you that what you’re seeing is a delusion. I don’t want you to go through this. Or even suggest it. The less people that have to deal with this, the better.”

“Well I’m sorry I’m useless.” I mumbled. “I’ll be back soon.”

Sarah grabbed my arm and pushed me back onto the chair. “Do you have any pain anywhere bub?”

She shrugged. “A little bit, not really.”

“That’s good.” Sarah nodded.

“How long have you been here?”

“Not long. They wouldn't let us see you for quite a while.”

“O-Okay.” She whispered.

A nurse came in and recorded the vitals. “You two are going to have to go home soon.”

Kaitlyn frowned, but both Sarah and I nodded.

“Of course. How many minutes do we have left?”

“It’s about 10 minutes to…” She checked her watch. “10 minutes to 12, so yeah, 10.”

“I-It’s midnight?” Kaitlyn asked.

The nurse nodded. “Sure is.”

She glumly looked down at her lap and nodded.

“Why’s that?”

She shrugged. “I feel guilty for keeping you up…”

“It’s fine. We just wanted to get to see you.” I assured.

“I feel bad though…”

“There’s no need.” I reinforced.

She just sighed.

“I’m sorry, but you have to leave now…”

Sarah and I wrapped Kaitlyn in a hug. “We’ll be back as soon as we can little worm.”

She nodded glumly and snuggled into the bedsheets.

We said our final goodbyes before Sarah and I walked out to the car. The drive home was mostly silence, until Sarah broke the ice.

“She seemed upset at us.”

I nodded. “I just don’t know why.”

“Neither. Do you think we did something?”

“It definitely wasn’t something you did.” 

“You didn’t do anything either. I guess it’s a mystery.” She murmured.

“I guess so.”

I pulled into our driveway. “What do we do about it?”

“I never know what to do with her.”

“She is quite a confusing child.”

I sighed and got out of the car. 

Sarah went straight to bed, while I chose to shower first. By the time I crawled in next to her, she was fast asleep.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up at about 2 with basically no sleep whatsoever and it seemed the harder I tried to sleep, the more awake I became. I just got frustrated at the situation and left the room so I wouldn’t wake Sarah.

I walked out to the studio and picked my computer up, opening a new song file. I figured I’d use my frustrations to create something rather than to destroy something.

I ended up finishing the song even, so I started mucking around with other things to pass the time. It was easy to get sucked into the work and I knew I wouldn’t stop anytime soon. 

The sun started to rise and I yawned, finally starting to feel tired. I saved everything and walked back into the bedroom, snuggling back in next to Sarah. I had only just closed my eyes before she shook me and woke me up.

“We’ve got to get back to the hospital. Come on, up you get.”

I groaned. “Not now.”

“You’ve had plenty of sleep. Get up.”

“No I haven’t!” I attacked, burying my face into the pillows.

Sarah sighed. “What time did you go to bed Brendon?”

I shrugged. “A couple of minutes ago, I guess.” I mumbled.

She groaned. “Half an hour. You get half an hour. And then we have to go.”

I nodded slightly before falling asleep.

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

“How are you feeling?” A doctor asked as he took my blood pressure yet again.

I cringed at the tight strap. “This thing isn’t helping.”

“Sorry. Mandatory tests.”

I nodded and breathed a sigh of relief as it started to decompress, giving my arm some room to breathe. “Other than the arm thing, I think I’m fine.”

“That’s good.” He affirmed. “Any pains?”

“Only when I stretch my arms out and pull on the stitches.”

He nodded. “Alright. Just be careful with stuff like that.”

“One of the doctor’s put some medical tape on it before so I wouldn’t accidently pull them out.” I explained.

“Ah, okay.”

He pressed some fingers to my neck to feel my pulse. “Well, it seems you’re recovering well from the surgery.”

I sighed in relief. “Can I go home soon?”

“Um, well, we do have a mandatory 2-week policy for these surgeries, and that’s the minimum. You might be here a while.”

I frowned. “That sucks.”

“I suppose.” He shrugged as he recorded some other bits and bobs from the screen.

“Is there anything I can do?”

He shook his head. “Nope. You’re just going to have to wait it out. You need to understand that this is a very major surgery with very major complications that can arise out of nowhere. Yes, being here isn’t your idea of a good time, but it’s certainly the safest option.”

“The surgery is done though. There’s no reason to stay. I should be able to leave once the surgery is done, in which it is.”

“We have to monitor you to make sure that your body accepts the organ properly. That’s why we have a minimum time, because if we sent you home and something happened, that’d be disastrous.”

“It accepted the organ, I’m alive, I’m fine, see?” I stated as I tried to pull myself off the bed.

He gently pushed me back onto the bed. “Kaitlyn. Just because it seems so right now, doesn’t mean that it is so.”

“Yes it does! You went to school for how long? And you’re still stupid! I’m fine!” I snapped, throwing a pillow at him.

He sighed and put the pillow back on the bed. “And you’re the expert on heart transplants?”

“Mhmm.” I smirked proudly.

“Right, well, let me ask you. How many chambers does a heart have?”

“3...?” I stated unsurely.

“4.” He corrected.

“Eh.” I shrugged. “Close enough.”

The doctor sighed. “I’ll be back later.”

I frowned. “I like talking to someone.”

“You parents should be here soon.”

“Yeah but you’re cool.”

He blushed slightly. “I’m glad you think so. Anyway, I have other patients to see. See you later Kaitlyn.”

I sighed. “See you later.”

The doctor left, leaving me alone with my thoughts. It was horribly lonely, and I started wondering if Mom and Dad were ever going to show up.

On that thought, the door opened up and they walked in.

“Sorry we’re late bub. Brendon didn’t sleep until this morning.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s always my fault.”

Sarah sighed in defeat and sat down beside me. “How are you feeling?”

“Good, I guess. Apparently I’m not going home for ages which sucks.” I murmured.

Sarah nodded in understanding. “It does.”

“The doctor who was in here before was pretty cool though.”

“That’s nice.” Brendon grumbled as he slouched in the chair.

“I-If you really d-don’t want to b-be here, then y-you should g-go home…”

He sighed. “I want to be here, I’m just tired little worm. Sorry for being a grump.”

“Y-You can fall asleep i-if you want?” I suggested quietly. “I-I won’t mind.”

He smiled. “Thanks little worm. I owe you one.”

“I-It’s okay…” I stammered. “I-It doesn’t m-matter.”

He snuggled back into the chair and fell asleep almost instantly.

“I-I apparently j-just have to s-sit here. I c-can’t do anything.” I mumbled.

“You can talk to us. Well, me.” Sarah tried to encourage.

“I-I just want t-to go home.” I whimpered.

Sarah smiled sadly. “I know bub. Soon. But not yet.”

I cried slightly into the pillow who I’d become acquainted with.

“Oh bub. It’s okay. I promise.” Sarah soothed, rubbing my back.

“I h-hate it here. I-It’s the worst!” I sobbed.

“You’ll be home soon. You just have to stay strong until then.” She whispered.

“I-I can’t. N-Not anymore.”

“Yes you can Kaitlyn. We’ll be with you all the way.”

“I-I d-don’t know S-Sarah.” I stammered, burying my face in the pillow.

“Of course you can bub. We know you can do it.”

“W-What else can g-go wrong?” I whimpered.

“Nothing.” Sarah assured. “It’s all uphill from here.”

“I-I hope so.” I whispered.

Sarah smiled. “It’s only going to get better from here bub.”

“C-Can I h-have a h-hug?”

She grinned and hugged me tightly. “Of course.”

“I-I still feel b-bad…”

“How so?”

“A b-bit of everything. The h-hospital s-sort of b-bums me out and I f-feel sick and it’s j-just not fun.”

She nodded in understanding. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

I shook my head. “Y-you’re doing enough already.”

“Well, if you come up with anything, make sure to tell me.”

“O-Okay.” I stammered, snuggling into her arms.

“Knock, knock.”

I turned to face the door, where Gerard was standing with Jax in his arms and Nicole by his side.

“H-Hi guys.” I stammered.

Nicole rushed in and wrapped me in a hug. “I’m so glad to see you’re okay!”

“Y-You too?”

Gerard put Jaxon down on the bed, and joined the hug. “Kaity!”

“H-Hi Jaxon…” I whispered, wrapping my arms around him.

“How are you?” He asked.

“N-Not great….”

His face fell. “What’s wrong?”

“I h-hate it here and I’m g-going to be here for a-ages.” I whimpered.

“We’ll come and visit as often as we can.” Nicole promised, squeezing my hand.

“N-no, it’s okay.”

“We’ll come.” She said firmly. “Because we want to see you! You’re our sister!”

“O-Okay! O-okay!” I stammered, slightly surprised at her firm tone.

“I thought you were dead.” Jaxon stated blandly.

“Oh….” I murmured.

Gerard sighed. “I told you she wasn’t dead Jax.”

“I-It’s fine. D-Don’t worry.”

Gerard handed me a large envelope. “I thought you might appreciate some reading while you’re here.”

“Th-thank you.” I smiled gratefully.

“In there are my favourite comics. The best and greatest.” He explained with a grin.

“I-I don’t want to r-ruin them…”

“I have several copies Kaitlyn. Don’t worry.” He assured.

“O-Okay…” I stammered.

Brendon started snoring. Loudly.

I giggled slightly as I watched him with his mouth dangling open. It was quite a funny sight.

Nicole snorted. “He’s such a dork.”

Sarah nodded. “He is.”

“Can we wake him up?” Jaxon asked.

“I don’t think we should. He hasn’t had much sleep.” Sarah answered.

“But he’s sleeping! He should sleep at home!” Jaxon stated, confused.

Sarah shrugged. “He’s just a bit of a weird one.”

“I-It’s c-cold….” I whimpered.

Sarah pulled my blanket out of her bag and rested it over me. 

“Th-thank you.” I whispered. Sarah wrapped me up in a warm hug. I snuggled into her arms and enjoying the warmth.

The doctor from before came back in an completed yet another round of tests before leaving again.

“G-goodnight.” I stammered before falling asleep in Sarah’s arms.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

I groaned and swatted away whatever was poking me.

“Wake up Bren.”

“Just let me sleeeeeeeeep.” I groaned.

“We have to go now Bren, come on. You’ve slept long enough.”

“It’s only….” I looked at my phone. “3:30. We’re fine.” 

“Exactly Brendon.” She pulled me up. “3:30. We’re late for your therapy appointment.”

I shrugged and flopped back into the chair. “Sleep is more important than therapy.”

“You’ve been sleeping for almost 5 hours. It’s time to get up now.”

“I’m still tired!” I groaned.

“Too bad Brendon. Get up now.”

“I’m staying.” 

She poked me. “We can’t stay Brendon. We have to go. Get up.”

I shook my head. “It’s not important.”

“It’s more important than sitting here. Once we’re done, I’ll drive you home so you can sleep.”

“She always says I need to sleep. She won’t care.” 

“Brendon! Get up!” Sarah snapped.

I groaned and pulled myself up off the seat.

Sarah sighed. “Thank you. Now, let’s go.”

“Can’t we just go home?” 

“Nope.” She stated.

“Why not!?” I whined.

“Because you need to go to therapy!” She exclaimed rather loudly.

“NO I DON'T!” I attacked.

“YES YOU DO!” She shouted.

A few people around us turned and stared.

I huffed and stormed away from her. 

“Brendon get back here!” Sarah chased.

“Go away Sarah.” I stated plainly.

“You have to go to therapy Bren. I know you don’t want to, but you have to.”

“I don’t have to. I’m perfectly fine.” I growled.

“Really, Bren?”

“Yes.” I stated. “I thought that’d be clear by now.” 

“Are you completely sure Bren? I mean, are you sure you don’t need to talk over what happened yesterday?”

“Y-Yeah?” I stammered unsurely.

Sarah sighed. “If you break down, then that’s not my fault. Don’t say I didn’t try to help.”

I bit my lip before picking up my pace and walking the way I hoped the office to be.

She smiled. “Thanks Bren.”

I remained silent as I continued walking, not knowing how to respond. I felt horrible and weak and dependant. I shouldn’t need therapy.

Sarah drove me to Dr Jo’s office and I sighed as she opened my door.

“Let’s go in Bren.”

“I-I don’t know…” 

“Come on, you’ve done this so many times. Just go in, and I’ll wait here until you’re done. Then we’ll go home.”

“I just c-can’t…” 

“Why not?”

“I-I don’t know…” I frowned.

“Well, let’s go in. I’m here for you Bren.”

I shook my head. “I-I’ll just stay h-here.” 

Sarah took my hand. “Please Bren. Come on, I know you can do it!”

“I-I can’t.” I whispered.

“Yeah you can. Come on. Do I need to send Dr Jo out here?”

“P-Please don’t.” I sniffled.

“I won’t Bren, but you have to come in.”

“P-Please Sarah. J-Just let me stay h-here.” I practically begged. 

“Bren,” She whispered. “The more scared you are of this, the more it shows me how much you need it.”

“I-I’m sorry, I j-just can’t d-do it S-Sarah…”

She pressed a kiss to my cheek before sighing. “I’m sorry Bren.”

“P-Please! I-I’ll be f-fine!”

Sarah climbed out of the car. “Last chance Bren. Are you coming or am I going to get her?”

I shook my head and started panicking. “I-I can’t t-talk r-right now.” I choked.

Sarah closed the door and walked into the building without another word.

“S-SARAH!” I called, despite knowing she wouldn’t hear me. I ended up erupting into tears.

A few minutes later, the door opened and Dr Jo sat down next to me. “What’s up Brendon?”

“G-Go away.” I stammered shakily.

She frowned. “That’s not very polite.”

“P-Please?” I countered, curling up on the car seat.

“I’ll go away after we’ve had a little chat.”

I shook my head and just tried to calm myself down by focusing on my breathing. Everything was still so confusing and absolutely nothing was making sense.

“Why don’t you want to see me Brendon?” She asked, attempting to start conversation.

“I-I-” I started saying before I gave up and slumped into the seat, just feeling to overwhelmed to do anything.

Dr Jo looked me over. “Did you take your medication this morning Brendon?”

I shrugged tearfully. “I-I don’t r-remember.”

“Can we go sit inside so I can give you some emergency to make you feel better?”

“P-Please leave m-me alone. I-I need to b-be alone.”

“Why’s that?

I didn’t answer and unknowingly began scratching my leg.

“Brendon I know you don’t want to hear this, but I don’t think you should be left alone right now.”

“I do! I-I really do!” I tried to remain calm but I felt the panicking get worse. “Leave! P-Please!”

She frowned. “Brendon, it’s time to come inside now.”

“N-No! G-GO AWAY! P-PLEASE!”

“Brendon, if you don’t come inside, I may be faced with the prospect of calling an ambulance.”

My breathing pattern was then thrown out of whack and I couldn’t regulate it anymore. I just sat on the seat crying helplessly.

“Big, deep breaths Brendon. In and out. In and out.” Dr Jo instructed.

I was able to do it at first, but then I lost it and the panic rose. “I-I can’t!”

“Yes you can Brendon. In and out. That’s it, just like that.”

I took a few deep breaths, followed by coughing, then more deep breaths.

Dr Jo gently rubbed my back. “Good job.”

“Th-this is too h-hard.” I stammered.

“You’re a lot better already Brendon. It’s working.”

“P-Please don’t make m-me go in.” I whimpered slightly.

“I just need to give you some medication. If it’s that bad in there, we can come back out.”

“C-Can’t y-you bring it h-here?”

“I can’t leave you alone Brendon.”

“W-Why n-not?” I asked. “I-I’m okay?”

“You’re obviously not Brendon. Come on, let’s go inside.”

I shook my head. “I-I’ll g-go without.”

“Brendon,  _ now. _ ”

“P-Please, n-no.”

“Yes, Brendon. You can do it. All we’re doing is walking inside the building and sitting down on the couch. It’s nothing scary.”

“I-I can’t…” I stammered.

“Yes you can.”

I took a deep breath before getting out of the car. I hadn’t even gotten inside and I already felt anxious.

Dr Jo smiled at me. “Thanks Brendon.”

“I c-can’t make it any f-further…” I whispered.

“You’re on the first step. You literally need to move three more steps and you’ll be inside. Come on Brendon, you can do it!”

I had this horrible twisted feeling in my stomach I couldn’t get over. I tried to walk in but I just ended up collapsing in a heap by the door.

Dr Jo rushed to my aid and practically carried me inside while I screamed for her to let me go. She put me down on the lounge and locked the door, before putting the key around her neck.

“I-I need to get out.” I whimpered, closing my eyes. 

“You’re fine Brendon.” She said, handing me some pills and some water. “This will help.”

“N-No it won’t. I n-need to be h-home!”

“Why’s that?”

“B-Because this p-place remind m-me of them and I h-hate it.”

Dr Jo sat down across from me. “How does it remind you of them?”

“I-I don’t know. J-Just little things, l-like the receptionist’s hair colour and the stupid w-wallpaper and e-everything.”

“Would you prefer it if we had our sessions in the other office with the other wallpaper?”

“I-I don’t know. M-Maybe?” I stammered before dismissing the thought. “I-It’s too much o-of a pain.”

“Not really, just as long as Mel doesn’t have any sessions, I don’t see a problem with us borrowing her office.”

“A-As long as it n-not a lot of trouble…”

Dr Jo nodded. “It will be fine. Anyway, can you please take those pills?”

I nodded before downing the pills. “H-happy?”

She smiled. “Thank you.”

“C-Can I go home yet?”

“Not yet. We still have 48 minutes of this session to go.”

I sighed. “That’s like, forever.”

She shrugged. “It’ll go by faster than you think.”

“If you say so.” I murmured.

“So. Let’s talk about the family. How is everything going?”

“Bloody marvellous.” I muttered.

“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm Brendon. Please, remember that I’m trying to help you.”

“Imagine everything going wrong. That’s basically what’s going on. It’s only just starting to sort itself out.”

“What do you mean? Tell me the things that have happened.”

“Nicole’s had friend issues, Kaitlyn has issues with Nicole’s ex-friends and her heart and we’re still trying to sort Jaxon out.”

She nodded. “Sounds dramatic.”

“It is. Oh, and the stupid medication has been keeping me up at night. The only sleep I’ve had recently was a nap before we came.”

She frowned. “I’ll adjust the dosage and give you a new prescription.

“Fun.” I muttered.

“Well, hopefully it should help you sleep.”

“All the spare time has come in use though. I’m actually being productive. Though apparently Sarah doesn’t like drumming early in the morning.”

“I can imagine why.” Dr Jo muttered.

I shrugged. “I can’t.”

“Sarah needs to sleep Brendon. She has a baby on board. Any tiredness could impact on it’s development. You need to make sure that she’s sleeping by not waking her up in the middle of the night.”

I sighed. “But I always get ideas in the middle of the night!”

“Well, do them on your computer. Or get an electronic drum kit that you can plug headphones into.”

“Boring.” I mumbled. “Anyway, what do you want me to complain about now?”

She tried to hide a grin. “Whatever you want to Brendon.”

“Turns out Patrick doesn’t like being woken up either.”

“Brendon, people don’t like it when you wake them up. Have you been woken up recently?”

“Yeah.” I mumbled.

“And how did that make you feel?”

“Well not great, truthfully.”

“And when you wake people up, they feel the exact same way.”

I sighed. “It’s not my fault I have too much energy.”

“Have you been taking the ritalin?”

“What do you think?” I countered.

Dr Jo sighed. “Brendon, I don’t prescribe things to you for no reason.”

“I don’t need it. I’m perfectly fine.” I assured.

“You say that, and then complain about having too much energy.”

“I think that’s just me, not any disorder’s fault.”

“Well then Brendon, I can’t help you.”

“I’m surprised you’re still trying. I have way too many complications to keep up with.”

“I keep trying because I care about you and I know you can get better.”

I chuckled slightly. “I dropped that hope awhile ago. You’re basically just a friend I come to talk to now.”

She smiled. “Thank you Brendon.”

“You’re pretty cool when it doesn’t feel like you’re torturing me.”

She blushed. “You’re pretty cool too Brendon.”

“I know.” I tried to say confidently before erupting into light laughter.

She smiled. “I do enjoy these sessions.”

“I’m glad. I do to. At least my previously hidden charisma is finally making an appearance, I suppose.”

“It’s very nice to see.”

“How many patients do you have anyway?” I asked. “Nevermind, that’s a tad intrusive.”

“I see 18 patients on a regular basis.” She explained. “But I can’t share their names or details.”

“It’s fine. I wouldn’t be able to sit through a list of 18 names.” I admitted.

“That’s okay Brendon.” She shrugged. “Although you are up there among my favourites.”

I blushed slightly. “I’m surprised.”

“Why would you be? You said so yourself, you’re pretty cool.”

“Well I was joking. I don’t know. If there’s 18 people there must be much better patients than myself.”

She shrugged. “You and a little boy I see are about tied at the top spot.”

“Sounds like a pretty awesome little dude if he’s at the top.”

She chuckled. “He’s very cute.”

I smiled slightly. “Kids are like that.”

“Especially this one.” Dr Jo smiled. “He’s just… he’s very, very cute.”

“Well I’m sure he has a blast with you as well.”

“Thank you Brendon.” Dr Jo blushed.

“Just the truth.”

She blushed again. “We should probably focus on you now.”

I sighed. “I was trying to avoid this conversation.”

“Well, now that you’re calmer, let’s talk about what happened in the car.”

“See the thing is, I don’t know what happened. It honestly seemed like a spontaneous panic attack.”

She frowned and wrote something down. “Was there a trigger?”

“Not really. I was just mad at Sarah for waking me up then frustrated that I had to come here and then when I came here fear and anxiety sort of topped it off.”

“I see.” she nodded.

“I felt horrible in there though.’

“I could see that.”

I sighed. “I don’t conceal these things very well, do I?”

“Not really, but neither does anybody else.”

“Well at least I’m not the odd one out then.”

“True.”

“So are you going to give me the usual lecture to take the pills and such?”

“Brendon, the truth is, you don’t have to take them. That’s fine, that’s your choice. But I honestly doubt that you’ll feel better at all if you don’t. In fact, you’ll probably end up back in the institution.”

“It’s not my fault I hate them.” I muttered.

“I know. We’re still trying to get the dosage perfect. But that’s the risk you’re taking if you don’t take your medication.”

I sighed. “There’s no winning.”

“I’m sorry Brendon, but this is all you have.”

“I know. It just sucks.” I mumbled.

She changed the subject. “How’s Kaitlyn going?”

I took a deep breath in. “In what way?”

“In general. Or you can explain in certain ways if that’s better for you.”

“I don’t know why I asked. She’s never doing well. She’s been doing better mentally since the ‘incident’. Her physical side is atrocious though.”

“Hmm… okay. What do you mean by that?”

“She- She sort of had a heart transplant... “

Dr Jo looked a little shocked, but it faded off shortly after. “That’s awfully traumatic. How is she doing now?”

“She’s alright. There haven’t been any real complications. She’s still pretty scared though.”

“I see. How is Sarah dealing with this?”

“Well it’s sort of made her really scared and hesitant and more quiet than usual. She’s trying to hide it though.”

“Have you been talking to her?”

“Not really…” I admitted. “I know I should but every thought just gets lost with fear and such. I hate it.”

“It’s important for you two to talk about these things Brendon.”

“I know, I know. I’m just not used to this stuff yet.”

She nodded. “Well, the time is up. Try to talk to Sarah tonight, okay?”

I frowned. “Okay.”

Dr Jo put her notebook away in the drawer. “I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“See you then.” I mumbled, getting up from the seat.

I walked out to the reception where Sarah was sitting, looking at her phone.

“Let’s go.” I stated simply.

She glanced up at me. “All done?”

I nodded. “I guess so.”

She clicked her phone shut and put it back in her purse before standing up. “Let’s go home then.”

I led her out to the car and essentially flopped into the car seat, recounting what had occurred here not much earlier.

Sarah started driving home and attempted to make conversation.

“So how was therapy?”

“Alright.” I answered plainly, staring out the window.

She shrugged. “That’s good then. I downloaded a book on parenting.”

“...Why?”

She sighed. “Look Bren, I’m as puzzled as you are. Kaitlyn’s a confusing kid. So I downloaded this book on parenting kids with disorders like her’s. It’s quite good, actually.”

I nodded. “How long is it?”

“Eh, pretty long. But it has a summary at the start so you only really need to read that.”

I sighed. “All these books you read are so long.”

Sarah shrugged. “If it’s going to help me help Kaitlyn, then I’m fine with reading it.”

“I just want to read some but I don’t think I’d finish it.”

“Just read the summary then.” Sarah suggested.

“I will.”

She smiled. “I’ll send it to you.”

“Thanks.” I smiled slightly.

Sarah pulled into the driveway. “Here we are.”

I smiled and got out of the car.

“So what are you planning on doing?” Sarah asked as we walked inside.

I shrugged. “Sleeping, listening to music. Basically, not a lot.”

“I’m going for a drive to get Nicole and Jax. What do you want for dinner? I’ll pick it up on the way back.”

“Whatever you want.” I shrugged. “I’m not too fussy.”

“You fine with mexican? That’s what the baby wants.”

“Sounds good.”

She ruffled my hair and kissed my cheek before walking out of the room.

*******Kaitlyn’s Point Of View*******

“So can I go home now?” I asked the doctor as he walked in again to take my vitals.

He shook his head. “You’ve asked me this every time I’ve come in. You’ll know when you’re leaving, I promise. You don’t have to ask.”

“Damn.” I muttered.

“Just the way it goes kid.” He mumbled, writing something down.

“That sucks.”

“I know. If you keep going like this your time won’t be extended at least.”

I sighed. “I just want to go home now.”

“I know. I wish you could go home.”

“Can’t you just sign the papers and let me go?” I suggested.

He shook his head. “It would have to go through many doctors. They’d see you haven’t been here long and wouldn’t approve it.”

“Can you try?”

“I mean I could but the thing is, if we write off what’s called a false release, we lose our jobs.”

I groaned and flopped back on the bed. “This sucks.”

“I know.” He stated. “You’ve made that very clear.”

“What can I do around here?” I asked mindlessly, picking at my hospital band.

“Not a lot.” He admitted.

“There’s gotta be something!” I groaned.

“There isn’t. It’s not safe for you to do anything.”

“There isn’t even a TV in here!” I complained. “Am I just supposed to stare at the ceiling?”

“Well usually patients would have visitors…”

I sighed. “My parents must be busy…”

He shrugged. “I don't know.

“They took my phone…” I grumbled.

“We’ll I best be off.”

“Wait! No! I’m sorry! Don’t leave!” I panicked.

“I have to go…”

“B-But please don’t leave!” I blubbered, grabbing his hand.

He sighed. “I can’t stay for long.”

I sniffled. “T-Thanks for not l-leaving…”

“It’s alright. I don’t know if this makes you feel better, but someone you at least know is coming soon.”

“W-Who?”

“She works here sometimes. You probably know her as Indigo.”

“O-Oh, okay.” I nodded.

“She’s stepped in for while, just while you’re here apparently.”

I nodded. “I-I hope she’s n-not mad at me for t-that.”

“I don’t think she’d’ve volunteered if she was mad.”

I shrugged. “I just hope that she’s not.”

And just as I said that, there was a knock at the door. 

“That’ll be her.” The doctor said as he answered it.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” She apologised.

The doctor shrugged. “It’s fine. I’ve been keeping her company.”

“Hey kiddo.” She smiled slightly, sitting beside me. 

“H-Hi…” 

“Are you alright?” She asked.

I shrugged. “I-I guess?”

“If you say so. How’ve you been?”

“P-Pretty suckish.”

She frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Don’t be sorry.”

“I should’ve been here sooner though.”

I shook my head. “I f-feel bad that you’re h-here at all.”

“Don’t feel bad kiddo.”

“B-But don’t you have better things to do than to be here?”

She shook her head. “Being here is so much better than at the office. It hasn’t been a good day.”

My face fell. “W-Why not?”

“I’ve had to diagnose two kids today which always sucks.”

“I-Is it bad for them?” I asked nervously.

“And for me. It just sucks having to tell them that something is wrong with them.”

“T-That sucks…” I murmured. “I don’t e-even know who d-diagnosed me.”

“Joanne may have, with help of the other doctors. Then I just tweaked that.”

“T-Tweaked? Was I misdiagnosed?”

“Only very slightly. I basically added to your diagnosis and classified another specifically.”

“What did you add?”

“Just that you have a very minor case of social anxiety. Nothing big.”

I sat there for a moment and considered. “Like Florence?”

“Kind of. Yours isn’t anywhere near as bad though.”

I silently nodded. “O-Okay…”

“It doesn’t really affect anything though.” She assured.

I shrugged. “I guess.”

“Anyway…” She started. “Where’s Brendon and Sarah?”

“I don’t know…” I mumbled. “They left when I was s-sleeping.”

“I see. Well at least you aren’t alone now.” She said cheerfully.

“T-Thanks…” I murmured.

“What’s up?” She asked. “I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“I-I hate it here….” I sighed. “Being here makes me sad.”

“Well I hate it here too but frankly, I can’t do much about that.”

I sighed and curled up on the bed. “I wanna go home.”

“You’ll be home as soon as you can.”

“It just feels like an eternity…”

“I know. But from what I’ve heard, your recovery is going well.”

I just sighed. “Yeah….”

“Want to play on my phone? You look horribly bored.”

“I don’t want to make a fuss…” I mumbled.

“It’s fine.” She assured. “I don’t want you bored. And besides, there isn’t much entertainment here.”

I reluctantly took the device and opened it, scrolling through the pages of apps. “W-What am I allowed to do?”

“Whatever.” She shrugged. “I have to go out to my car to get something. Is that alright?”

“Um...okay...do you need to take your phone?”

She shook her head. “If I get any calls, tell me when I come back.”

I pushed the phone back into her hands. “Just take it. I-I’ll freak out if people call.”

She sighed and put the phone on the bed beside me before leaving.

“W-Wait no! Come b-back!” I panicked.

The phone started ringing beside me and I freaked out, accidentally knocking it onto the floor.

“O-Oh god!” I panicked as I tried to get out of bed to pick it up. I had forgotten about the six tubes that were hooked onto me.

The drip stand fell to the ground with a crash and three of the wires connected to the heart rate monitor popped off. I desperately tried to hold everything together but it didn’t seem to be working.

Soon enough, Indigo returned and saw the mess I’d made.

“I-I’m sorry!” I cried.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. Calm down.” She consoled.

“I-I dropped your p-phone and t-then I g-got out of b-bed and e-everything c-collasped!” I sobbed.

“Mmkay. Well, let’s just get you back into bed for starters.” She said as she picked the drip stand up.

I tried to clamber onto the bed myself with no luck. 

Indigo ended up lifting me back on and tucking me into the blankets, before pushing the call button to summon a nurse.

“I-I’m sorry…” I whispered nervously.

“No, no, it’s fine kiddo.” She said as she collected the wires from all over the room. “At least you’re okay.”

“They’re going to have to reconnect all of those, aren’t they?” I sighed.

She nodded. “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

“I’m such a pain.” I murmured.

She shook her head. “You’re not Kaitlyn, it’s fine.”

I sighed and laid down on the bed, silently staring at the ceiling. 

Indigo bent down and finally picked her phone up and bit her lip nervously.

“Did I break it? I-I’m sorry!”

She shoved it in her pockets. “Don’t worry about it.”

“H-How bad is it? D-Do you w-want me, or well, M-Mom and D-Dad to pay for it?”

“It’s fine kiddo.” She assured.

“N-No it’s not! I-I’m so sorry!” I cried.

“Kaitlyn, please. It’s fine, I promise.” Indigo sighed as she sat down.

“I-I’m sorry!” I repeated, curling up on the bed.

“Kiddo, please stop stressing. It’s completely fine.”

I shook my head. “I-I broke y-your phone.”

“No, you didn’t. It still works fine.”

I covered myself with the bedsheets and cried under the covers, still feeling ridiculously guilty.

“Kaitlyn, please. It’s fine, I promise.” Indigo sighed, pulling the covers back.

“I-I don’t w-want to break a-anything else.” I whimpered, pulling the sheets from her.

A nurse finally walked in the room. “What’s the problem?”

“We just had a bit of an accident and we need some help reconnecting everything.” Indigo explained.

She nodded and took the wires and began reconnecting everything in the right spots. She smiled at me once she was done. “Is there anything else you need?”

I shook my head. “U-Unless you have a-another p-pillow.” Mine had become noticeably damp with all the crying though I tried to ignore it,

She nodded. “Of course. I’ll be back in a moment.”

She left and I took a deep breath, deciding I shouldn’t cry any longer. I still couldn’t bring myself to face Indigo though. “W-When are you going to d-do it?” I whispered.

“Do what?” She asked mindlessly.

“G-get mad, y-yell, h-hit me…”

She sighed. “I am going to do none of those things, and especially not the last one. Kaitlyn, why do you think I would hit you?”

“Th-that’s what p-people d-do when they’re m-mad…”

“No, it’s not Kaitlyn. Why do you think that?”

“Th-that’s a-all I r-really know.”

Indigo sighed. “Alright. Well, hitting people when you’re mad is not acceptable, and quite frankly, illegal. Nobody should ever hit you when they’re mad, and if they do, you need to tell me, okay?”

“Th-that n-never happened to y-you? W-Were you a-always g-good?”

“No, just my parents punished me differently, for example, I wasn’t allowed to watch TV that night. That’s deemed normal. Hitting people is not normal and is really bad, okay?”

“O-Okay…” I murmured.

She sighed and slumped back in the chair. “So what’s been happening other than the hospital stuff?”

“Just the usual. People at school hating me, getting mad at me, yeah…”

“Have you made any friends?”

“O-only Byron. And there’s D-Dana and Phil too.”

She smiled. “That’s good.”

“Y-yeah…”

“Are the classes good? Are you keeping up with everything?”

I frowned. “Not really…”

“Oh… well your friends and your sister should help.”

“I g-guess so.”

The door opened and the doctor walked back in with his clipboard to take my vitals again.

“H-Hi…” I whispered to him. It felt wrong to not acknowledge his presence. 

“Hello Kaitlyn.” He murmured as he wrote things down.

The rest of his visit was spent in awkward silence. Eventually he left and it was just Indigo and I.

“S-So it’s wrong for someone to h-hit you when they’re angry?” I reiterated.

She nodded. “Yes.”

“So w-why do people at school d-do it?”

“They shouldn’t.” Indigo stated plainly. “They should be getting in a lot of trouble for that.”

I frowned. “I guess s-so…” I murmured. “And w-what if you hurt yourself w-when you’re angry?”

“That would be self harm.”

“Right…”

“When you get angry, you should try and do something creative to get the anger out. That’s always the best way to deal with it.”

I nodded. “I w-won’t remember that though.” I whispered to myself.

Indigo shrugged. “Just draw then. When you get mad, you should go and draw.”

“Well I can’t draw now.” I murmured.

She rested a sketchbook and pencil case on my lap. The sketchbook was unused and pencils all sharpened. “Now you can.”

“Th-thanks?” I said slightly confused. “But i-isn’t this yours?”

She shook her head. “Now it’s yours.”

“B-But...why?”

“Because you’re trapped in a hospital room with nothing to do.” She stated simply/

I shook my head and pushed it towards her. “I-I can’t... “

She placed it back in my hands. “Let’s say it’s a late christmas present.”

“Y-You k-keep it. P-Please.”

“I bought it for you, Kaitlyn. It’s yours.”

“I-I can’t t-take it.”

“Yeah you can. Go on, draw something.”

I pulled out a pencil and did a light, hesitant sketch before placing it back on the bed. “I-I feel b-bad.”

“Why?”

“Y-You shouldn’t be g-giving me things.”

“Eh. I give you things because I like you. Don’t feel bad.”

“I-I’m not used to p-people giving me things y-yet.”

“That’s fair enough. But don’t worry about this, this is nothing. Don’t worry.”

“H-How much w-was it?” 

“That’s not really a polite thing to ask when somebody gives you something, but honestly, not a lot.”

I frowned. “I-I’m sorry…” 

“It’s fine. Just please, don’t worry about it.”

“I-I don’t deserve i-it though…” I whispered.

Indigo and didn’t respond as she sat down and pulled out another sketchbook with some used pencils. “What are you going to draw?”

“I-I don’t really know…” 

“Do you mind if I draw you?”

I shrugged. “Do w-what you want.” 

She smiled and went to sketching.

I still wasn’t sure what to do, but I picked up the book and randomly started drawing the first thing I could think of. It was pretty boring as it ended up just being a dark forest and it wasn’t even detailed well.

“That’s pretty cool kiddo.” Indigo smiled.

“Not really…….” 

“It totally is!” She smiled. 

“If you say so.” I responded unsurely.

She looked back at her own book and added a bit of shading. “This is coming along nicely.”

“That’s good.” I murmured, rubbing something out after deciding it looked horrible.

“What are you going to add?” She asked.

“I don’t know. Everything looks horrible.” I frowned.

“No it doesn’t!” She defended. “It’s awesome!”

“I don’t know.” I gave up and dropped the book on the bed.

Indigo sighed and lifted it up. “You have so much talent Kaitlyn.”

I shook my head. “It’s horrible. Anyone can do better than that.” I moped.

“I can’t.”

“I’m sure you can. You are probably heaps better than me.” 

She shook her head. “I’m not. You’re heaps better than me, and I went to art school.”

“I don't even think art school could save this mess.” 

“It’s not a mess.” She sighed, handing it back to me. “It’s awesome.”

I ended up tearing out the page and starting something new.

“What are you drawing now?”

“Same thing as always.” I mumbled.

“Brendon?”

I nodded. “Of course.” 

She chuckled slightly and continued on her own drawing.

“I feel like some crazy stalker…” 

“Why?” She asked.

“Because I’m sitting here drawing Dad with no reference or anything. I just  _ know _ what he looks like. Isn’t that weird?” 

She shook her head. “He’s your father. I know what you look like when I’m not around you, it’s the same sorta thing.”

“It just seems weird I know all the details.” 

She shrugged. “You have drawn him a lot though.”

I giggled slightly. “Yeah. Probably an unhealthy amount…” 

She chuckled. “Nothing wrong with that. Shows you love him.”

“I guess so.” I smiled slightly, thinking of the many weird experiences we’d shared.

The door opened and Sarah walked in. “Hey bub.”

“Hey.” I smiled.

She sat down next to Indigo. “What have you two been doing?”

“Drawing, mainly. Causing chaos.” 

“What do you mean?” She asked, baffled.

“Well before I dropped Indigo’s phone and I went to pick it up, inevitably falling off the bed and taking everything down with me.” 

“Oh wow. At least you’re okay though. That’s the best thing.”

I shrugged. “I guess so. I broke Indigo’s phone though…” 

She turned to Indigo. “Do you want me to pay for it?”

Indigo shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s not even bad. Don’t worry.” 

“I-I’m sorry…” I mumbled.

“It’s fine kiddo, I promise.” 

I sighed and curled up in the blankets.

“So where’s Brendon?” Indigo asked.

“At home, watching Nicole and Jaxon.” She shrugged. “He’s on a bit of a music spree at the moment. He gets a little disconnected from everything when that happens.”

“Ah, okay.” She nodded. She was still finishing up her drawing.

Sarah looked over and smiled. “That’s so cool!”

“Thanks.” Indigo smiled slightly. “Nothing compared to Kaitlyn’s though.” 

Sarah turned to me. “What are you drawing?”

“N-nothing…” I stammered, pulled the book under the sheets.

“Can’t you show me?” She sounded hurt.

I felt guilty now and curled up under the sheets after placing the book on top.

“This is awesome bub!” Sarah complimented.

I sniffled and dug myself under further.

“What’s wrong?” She asked worriedly, peeling the blankets back.

“N-Nothing.” I assured hesitantly.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“I d-don’t know…” I whispered.

Sarah wrapped me in a hug. “Sorry if I pushed too much.”

“I-It wasn’t you. D-Don’t worry.” 

“Was it me?” Indigo asked.

I shook my head. “I-It wasn’t a-anyone, r-really. Well, m-maybe me.” 

“What do you mean bub?”

“I-It’s just b-been hard.” I cried slightly. “I-I don’t know. I-I’m being s-silly.” 

Sarah hugged me again. “I know. It’s okay.”

I sniffled. “I h-hate the hospital.” 

“I know bub.” Sarah murmured.

“H-How much l-longer will I b-be here?” 

“Two more weeks.” She explained slowly.

I started crying some more and buried my face in the pillow.

“Oh Kaitlyn. It’s okay. It’s okay.” Sarah tried to reassure.

“Th-that’s so long!” 

“It’ll go by faster than you think.”

“N-No it won’t. I-It’s not like j-just waiting f-for an hour to g-go by. It’s like, f-fourteen days!” 

Sarah sighed. “Yeah, it is. But complaining about it isn’t going to make it go by faster.”

I shuffled away from her and continued stewing in the silence.

Indigo sighed. “Bottling things up isn’t going to help you kiddo.”

“Yes it will.” I mumbled.

“No it won’t. Talk to us.”

“I did.” I muttered. “And it didn’t make me feel any better.” 

Sarah sighed. “Just leave her Indigo. She’ll talk when she wants to.”

I smirked slightly, almost taking this as a challenge. For now, I am mute. I shall not speak. At least no one will know about my game then.

A nurse entered with a tray of food. “Lunch.”

She rested it on the bed before walking out. I took one bite before shoving it away.

“No bub, you need to eat more than that.” Sarah said, pushing it back to me.

I shook my head.

“Yes Kaitlyn” Indigo joined the conversation. “You know you need to eat. It’s that or be here even longer than two weeks.”

I sighed and ate a little bit more before I pushed the tray away and ended up dropping the spoon on the floor.

“The whole bowl bub. You’ve just had major surgery. We can risk anything else by you not eating enough.” Sarah said, wiping the spoon on her shirt before handing it back to me.

I simply shook my head.

“Kaitlyn, did you hear your Mom? You’ve got to eat more than that.”

I just shrugged, not intending to eat any more.

“Kaitlyn, eat now or we’re going back to spoon feeding. And we both know how much you love that.” Sarah threatened.

My lip quivered a bit and I tried to hide under the sheets.

Indigo pulled the sheets off me. “You can’t hide from this Kaitlyn. Eat. Now.”

I was crying again now. I tried to shake my head again but was shaking too much just from nervousness, mainly.

“Please bub. Just eat a little more for me.” Sarah pleaded.

I sniffled and tried to have another spoonful, but once it got up to my mouth, I dropped the spoon and my tears deepened.

Sarah sighed and picked the spoon up. “Sorry about this bub.”

I tensed up as soon as she came near me and I started whimpering.

She forced the spoon into my mouth and sighed as I started gagging.

“S-Stop, p-please.” I whimpered desperately.

She shook her head. “I’m sorry Kaitlyn, but at this point, we really need to make sure you’re eating properly.”

“Stupid surgery.” I muttered.

She forced the spoon into my mouth again and I gagged so much that I spat it back into the bowl.

She brushed the spat out food to the side and accumulated another spoonful.

“N-No! P-Please!” I pleaded, trying to crawl back under the sheets.

“You have to eat bub.” She stated simply.

“A-Anything b-but this! I-I’ll even t-take that stupid b-big needle again!” 

“You’re not allowed another big needle kiddo.” Indigo sighed. “It’s this.”

“T-there has to b-be something else.” 

Sarah pushed another spoonful into my mouth. “Apparently not.”

I swallowed the spoonful with a bit of hassle and encased my body in blankets and pillows.

“You’re starting to frustrate me.” Sarah grumbled as she threw half the pillows on the floor.

“I-I’m sorry M-Mommy…” I stammered, becoming scared.

She sighed. “You’ve just got to eat Kaitlyn.”

“B-But I c-can’t…” 

She pushed another spoonful into my mouth. “Yes you can, and yes you will.”

“I-I d-don’t l-like it w-when you’re m-mean a-and frustrated.” I whimpered, curling away from her. I suppose Indigo’s words about hitting being wrong hadn’t sunk in yet.

“I’m just getting frustrated because you’re hurting yourself by not eating and if you don’t eat, because of the major surgery, there are so many bad things that will happen.” She mumbled as she loaded up another spoon.

“H-How much more i-is there?” 

“About 2 thirds of the bowl.”

“I c-can’t...n-not that m-much.” 

“Yes you will.” Sarah grumbled, getting rather annoyed.

“I-If you h-hate me that m-much, y-you should leave.” I whispered.

“I’m doing this because I love you.” She muttered as she forced another spoon into my mouth.

I swallowed it with a bit of hesitation and I was already feeling like I was going to throw up.

“Halfway there.” She muttered as she loaded up the next spoon.

I shook my head. “I-I’m going to b-be sick.” 

She pushed it into my mouth. “Not on my watch.”

Tears were flowing freely from my eyes and I tried to swallow both the food and the bile that was rising.

“Sarah, just give her a minute.” Indigo tried to tug Sarah’s arm away gently.

Instead, Sarah shoved more food into my mouth and I couldn’t even swallow properly. 

I spat a little bit into my hand and tried to swallow the rest with varying degrees of success.

“Swallow, Kaitlyn.” Sarah demanded.

My entire body was shaking as I tried to force the food down my throat but I just couldn’t manage it.

“Sarah, please. Just give her a moment.” Indigo said gently, taking the spoon from her.

I almost got it all down before more vomit came up. I tried to desperately out it down but I tried to motion to Indigo to get a bucket or something.

She didn’t get my gesture and I threw up all over the blanket.

Indigo gasped and immediately tried to clean me up, but Sarah just stood there giving me a dirty look.

Despite being relieved, I still had a horrible twisted feeling in my stomach. I knew it was because Sarah was mad and it made me feel ridiculously guilty. In fact, it become too overwhelming and I ended up throwing up again, this time, mostly stomach acid came up.

She ran a hand through her hair. “You’re going to die, Kaitlyn. You’re going to stop eating so much that you’re literally going to starve yourself to death. That’s if your heart doesn’t get you first. The heart problems were literally caused by you not eating. And we keeping putting all this effort in, and you just throw it back in our faces. I just, I can’t believe this.”

“I-I’M TRYING, I REALLY AM!” I cried.

Sarah turned and walked out of the room.

I couldn’t stop crying. I just wanted her to see that I was trying. My efforts always went unnoticed.

“It’s okay Kiddo…” Indigo sighed as she pulled the top blanket off the bed. “She’s just a bit frustrated. Give her some time to cool down and she’ll come back in here good as new.”

“I-I can’t do anything right!” I cried. “W-What if she l-leaves again?!”

“She won’t. I promise. Do you want me to go and talk to her?”

“S-Stay, p-please.” I almost begged.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stay.” She assured.

“W-Why do I m-make everything h-hard? I-I was trying, I swear!” 

“I know you were kiddo. Sometimes it can just be a little hard to see, and especially because you’re in this position, not eating is really, really dangerous. That’s why Sarah was getting so frustrated.”

“I-I should j-just die already. T-Then everyone w-would be happy.” 

Indigo sighed. “Let’s not go  _ that  _ far.”

“W-Why not? I-It’s not like I-I’m doing any g-good.” 

“Come on Kaitlyn. We’d miss you. You’re doing so much good for all of us.”

“M-Mom wouldn’t.” 

“I think your Mom would miss you most of all.”

I shook my head. “I-I’m just a p-pain. A-And then y-you’d have more spare time a-and everyone w-would just be h-happier.”

“Do I need to get you some antidepressants?”

“I-I’m n-not depressed, s-so no.” 

“You’re speaking suicidal thoughts.”

I shrugged. “N-not really. Just telling the t-truth.” 

Indigo sighed. “That’s not the truth kiddo.”

“It is. I’m sure you agree with me.” 

“Nope.”

The door opened and a puffy-eyed Sarah nervously walked back in. “H-Hey bub…”

“H-hi…” I whispered.

“I-I’m so sorry for losing my temper at y-you...that w-wasn’t fair. I know y-you were trying…”

“I-I deserved it a-anyway.” 

She shook her head. “No, you didn’t. I-I’m so sorry Kaitlyn, I’m s-such a terrible Mom…”

“No you aren’t.” I assured. “It’s okay. And I did deserve it. It was quite a pathetic display.” 

She hugged me tight. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. You did nothing wrong.” 

“I-I did. I lost my temper and got mad at you, and I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s okay. I-I’m glad y-you’re back. I-I thought you w-were going to l-leave again…” I admitted.

She held me tighter. “I’m never going to leave you again. Ever.”

“I-I’d leave me…” 

Sarah changed the subject. “Your Dad is on his way.”

“O-Okay…” I whispered.

“Are you still feeling sick?” Indigo asked.

“N-Not really.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good.”

“I guess so…”

“What are we going to do now?” Sarah asked.

“Just wait around, I guess.” Indigo stated. 

I simply sighed. 


	8. Chapter 7 - There’s No Closer Bond Than Family

**** Brendon’s Point of View ****

“I can’t wait to see you Brennykins!” Mom giggled from the other end of the phone line.

“I could say the same.” I smiled.

“And I can’t wait to meet all your kids!” She squealed excitedly. “I’m so excited to meet my grandchildren finally!”

“Yeah. They’re all very excited to meet you too, I promise.”

“So one of them is Damien’s little girl, right?”

“Kaitlyn, yeah…”

“And how are you dealing with that?” She asked, sounding a little more worried.

“Well, I’ve been getting there. It’s still really hard, but I’m just trying not to show it, I suppose.”

“Well, that’s good Brenny. Has Sarah been looking after you?”

“Of course. She always is. I’m just worried I’m not doing a good enough job of looking after her.” I admitted sheepishly.

“I’m sure you are Bren. Your Dad and I love the new song, it’s great. We hear it on the radio all the time!”

I smiled. “I’m glad. It’s doing much better than I could’ve imagined.”

“I’m so proud of you Brenny Boo. I knew you’d be the most amazing musician from the moment you first tried the drums.”

I chuckled. “Thanks Mom.”

“How’s the baby shower planning coming along? Only two weeks! I’m so excited to come and see you! It feels like forever!”

“It really has been forever, and I’m sorry about that.”

“All your brothers and sisters are coming too. Do you have room in your house or should we book a hotel?”

“Well I’ll try to sort something out. We’ll have to see.” I stated unsurely.

“Well, it’s only two weeks Bren. How many rooms is your house?”

“4….?”

“There’s six of us coming, plus your three munchkins...do you have a spare room or do the children all have their own rooms?”

“Well all the kids have their own rooms but we can shuffle them around a bit if we have to.”

“Is that going to upset them? We can get a hotel.”

“I honestly don’t know.” I sighed. “I’m not good at working stuff out.”

“We’ll just book a room.”

“Do you want me to pay for it?”

“No, no, of course not Brenny. “ She assured. “Your father and I will probably want to stay somewhere expensive. You know how we are.”

“At least let me help pay for it.”

“No Brennyboo. Absolutely not. You focus on the baby.”

“Look, it’s just a late Christmas present.”

“You sent us a christmas present Brendon. It’s fine. Don’t worry.”

“I’d feel terrible if I didn’t help.”

“You help just by being you Brenny. I can’t wait to see you!”

“Alright, we’ll if you need any help, tell me, alright?” I stated.

“Shh. Don’t worry about it Brenny. If anything, I should be the one helping you.”

“Why so? You shouldn’t need to help me at all.”

“Because you’ve got a baby on the way and Sarah isn’t letting me chip into your therapy bills anymore and I feel so guilty about that Brenny.”

“You shouldn’t be guilty. You paid for things for me for many years. You shouldn’t feel guilty at all.” I assured. “And why on earth were you paying for therapy anyway? That shouldn’t even be Sarah’s problem. I should be the one sorting it out. It was my stupid mistake.”

Mom sighed. “Brenny, please. You know it wasn’t you. And I’m paying for it because you’re my little boy and I really worry about you, and it just gives me some peace of mind.”

“I guess that makes sense.” I mumbled. “You shouldn’t worry though. I’m fine, I promise.”

“Okay Bren. Do you want to speak to your father? He’s just walked in.”

“Sure.” I breathed.

“Boyd! It’s Brendon. Come say hello!” I heard her call.

I chuckled slightly, appreciating the fact they hadn’t really changed at all.

The phone muffled as my dad answered. “Hey Brendon. How’s my favourite rock star?”

I chuckled slightly once more. “Good, I suppose. You?”

“Great. Great to hear about the baby. You ready to be a father to this kid?”

“I hope so. I think I’m ready…”

“That’s good. Boy or girl?”

“We don’t know. It’s a surprise. I’m hoping boy though.”

“I hoped the same thing when you mother was pregnant with you!” He chuckled.

“Well I’m glad I delivered.” I chuckled awkwardly.

He laughed. “Good to hear. How are your three at the moment?”

I sighed. “Alright, I guess.”

“You sound unsure. What’s going on?”

“It’s just Kaitlyn’s in hospital and Nicole’s having friend issues and we’re having difficulties with Jaxon and...yeah.” I rushed.

“That sounds a bit serious Bren… how are you coping with everything?”

“Alright, I guess…”

“Do you need any help?”

“No, no it’s fine.” I assured. “I don’t want to worry you.”

“Well, we’ll be there in two weeks anyway. Maybe we can watch the kids so you can Sarah can go and have some time, won’t that be nice?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m sure Sarah would appreciate some time for herself though.”

“Come on Brendon, don’t you want some Brendon/Sarah time?”

“Sarah would much rather time to herself. I’m quite a handful Dad.”

He sighed. “Brendon…”

“Just stating the obvious.” I defended.

“Look, I gotta go back out to your sister. I’ll give you back to your Mom.”

“Alright. Bye Dad.”

“Seeya Bren. Look after yourself.”

“You too.”

The phone muffled as my Mom picked back up.

“The hotel is booked Brenny! I’m so excited!”

“How much did you spend?” I sighed.

“Pfft. Don’t worry. I’m not letting you chip in.”

“Please?” I asked, desperate to help.

“Nope. Not a bit. By the way, what sorts of things do the kids like? I didn’t get them Christmas gifts yet.”

“You don’t have to worry. You’ve already spent too much on this trip.”

“They’re my Grandkids Brenny, it’s my job to spoil them! Now come on, what sorts of things do they like?”

“Uh….I don’t know. Nicole like cooking things, Kaitlyn’s into artsy stuff and Jaxon, well Jaxon just really likes teddy bears.”

“That’s easy. Good to hear.” She smiled. 

“Please don’t spend a heap.”

“Don’t worry Bren. Please. I’m doing it because I want to!”

“You shouldn’t be spending any money.” I sighed.

“Shh. Don’t worry. Oh, and I think Kara got them something too.”

“Dammit.” I muttered.

“Please don’t worry Bren. I just can’t wait to see you. It’s going to be so exciting!”

I nodded unsurely. “Uh, yeah. Did Sarah warn you about Kaitlyn?”

“She talked about a few things... “

“You know all the stuff and all?”

“I believe so.”

“That’s good.”

“Is there anything we need to know about you Brendon?”

“I-I, um, I d-don’t think so?” I stammered. “Nothing’s really changed, I guess.”

“I’ll talk to Sarah later to get the run down.”

I felt awfully uncomfortable. “O-Okay Mom…”

“There’s no reason to be nervous Brendon. Especially if nothing’s changed.”

“Y-You just make it s-sound like I’m crazy…” I murmured.

“Well I’m very sorry Brendon. I don’t mean to make it seem that way.”

I sighed. “It’s fine Mom…”

“I’m just worried about you Brendon. You’re so far away.”

“I know. But you’ll be here soon, so it’ll all be okay, right?”

She perked up. “Of course Brenny.”

“So why won’t you let me pay for anything? This is going to be pretty expensive…”

“Because you don’t need to worry about that. Your Dad and I have it all under control. It’s fine Brenny, plus we’ll probably be the ones eating all your food.”

“Just let me pay for something, it’d make me feel a lot better.”

“You can pay for groceries?”

I sighed. “Alright…”

“Now, Matt is still a little under the weather, so he’s still waiting for doctor’s approval to see if he can come. If he can’t, your cousin Amy is going to come.”

“Okay. If he doesn’t end up coming I’ll probably come home for a little while.”

“We’d love that Brennyboo. We miss you so much around here.”

“I miss you guys a lot too. And home.”

“You’re always welcome Brenny. It’ll be good to see you.”

“I’m glad.” I smiled slightly.

There was a bit of muffling. “I got to go Brenny, Kara wants to talk flights. I’ll see you soon.”

“Alright. Talk to you soon Mom.”

“Bye Brenny!” She smiled before hanging up.

I threw the phone onto the cushion as I tried to work out more ways to help them.

Sarah walked in the room. “How were your parents?”

“Yeah, good.” I mumbled.

“Are you sure Bren? You sound a bit off.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine. Don’t worry.” I forced a small smile.

She smiled. “Well, dinner’s ready, so come on out. It’s time to eat.”

“I’ll be out in a sec.” I assured.

She ruffled my hair. “See you then Bren.”

I sat there in thought for a little longer before snapping out of my daze and going out for dinner.

Nicole smiled when she saw me. “Hey Dad. Come sit down. We made lasagne.”

I smiled and joined them at the table. “Sorry for taking so long.”

“That’s cool. Who were you on the phone too?”

“Just Mom and Dad.”

“Your Grandma and Grandpa.” Sarah finished with a smile.

She nodded in understanding. “Is everything all good?”

“Yep. They’re coming to visit for the baby shower.”

“Awesome!”

“They’re super excited.” I smiled slightly. “What do we need to do to get ready Sarah?”

“Well, I’m going to take the kids for haircuts tomorrow after school so that we all look nice and presentable, and because Jaxon’s hair is getting pretty long and then I’m going to try and clean the walls. You guys should be fine, just keep the rooms clean, okay?” She instructed. 

We all nodded and sat and ate our food. We had a few random conversations about animals before we left the table.

As Sarah went to pick up all the plates, I took them away from her. “Go relax.”

She shook her head. “You go Brendon. You have better things to do.”

“You’re carrying a baby Sarah. You need to relax.”

She sighed. “I’ll survive.”

I took the plates to the kitchen and washed them up. Sarah watched me the whole way. 

“Come on.” I wrapped my arm around her. “Let’s go sit down.”

“I’m going to be bed.”

I planted a kiss on her forehead. “Sleep well Sarah.” 

She wandered into the room and I went to the lounge room where Jaxon was playing with his teddy bears. 

“What’s up buddy?”

“I’m just playing…” He murmured.

I picked him up and rested him on my lap and wrapped him in a small hug.

“Do haircuts hurt? I haven’t had one in ages…”

I chuckled. “Of course not Jax. You barely feel it.”

“O-Okay…” He stammered, hugging his bear.

“Is that what you were worried about?”

He nodded. “Yeah…”

“That’s alright.” I assured. “It’s okay to be a little bit scared of things.”

“Can you turn on the TV Daddy?”

“Of course.” I smiled. I turned the TV onto some random cartoon and Jaxon laid down with his head on my lap while he watched them.

Nicole joined us and did her homework in the lounge while Jaxon was falling asleep. 

“What is a synonym?” She asked quietly.

“I think it’s a word with the same meaning.”

“So I need 5 synonyms of secretive?” She asked. “So like, reticent?”

“I guess so? Why do you need them?” 

“Well,” She started. “We’re writing an essay and I’ve used the word secretive like 6 times. The teacher told me to substitute with some synonyms so it wasn’t so repetitive.”

I nodded in understanding. “Well is there anything you need to do?”

She shook her head. “Not really…”

“Alright, well it’s bed time now. Come on.”

She sighed, but packed up her books and headed into the bedroom. I carried Jax to bed and tucked him in before joining Sarah in her sleeping pursuits.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Back already Bren?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah. Nicole wanted to get away from me as soon as possible.” I explained, hanging up the house keys and taking off my shoes. 

“Alright, well we have two hours until the scan. Do you want to clean the bathroom for me?” She asked as she dressed Jaxon.

I nodded. “Shouldn’t be a problem.” 

I walked into the bathroom and gagged. “Morning sickness already?”

“Sorry Bren…”

I gagged again but tried to hide it. “It’s okay. I can do it.”

She smiled and planted a kiss on my cheek. “Thanks Bren. You’re the best.”

After finishing cleaning up around the toilet, I looked around and decided to clean the rest of the bathroom, deeming it a small job. I started cleaning and all was well until I slipped in the bathtub. I was just lying on my side in pain. There wasn’t any obvious injury.

“Are you alright Bren?” Sarah asked, coming into the bathroom.

“Yeah, I think so…” I groaned. 

She helped me out of the bathroom and I laid on the couch while she made sure I was alright.

“Where does it hurt Brendon?”

I shrugged. “Just my side. It’ll be fine. I just need to rest for a little bit.”

“Alright.” She nodded. “I’ll wash the tub out then we’ll go.” 

Jaxon came and laid beside me on the couch.

“What happened Daddy? You made lots of loud noises. I was scared.”

I smiled slightly. “I just slipped. I’m alright, don’t worry buddy.”

“Okay.” He mumbled, hugging my arm.

“Are you good Brendon? Do you want to get changed?” 

I nodded and lightly pulled my arm away from Jaxon. I got dressed quickly, still in a bit of pain before I reunited with Sarah and left for the hospital.

“Are you excited?” I asked her.

She nodded with a huge smile on her face. “Well we’re here. Let’s go in!”

We walked into the maternity ward and were greeted by own usual doctor, Dr Tira

“Hello Sarah, Brendon.”

I smiled as an introduction. 

“Well let's get right into it, shall we?” 

Sarah nodded, climbing onto the bench. Dr Tira put on her gloves and got everything ready. 

“Alright, this is your warning. It’s going to be cold.” 

She rubbed the gel onto Sarah’s bump and Sarah’s excitement grew.

Dr Tira dragged the wand across Sarah’s bump and we saw the baby in the ultrasound. Sarah’s eyes lit up and she squeezed my hand. 

“Well there they are. Do you want to know the gender yet?” She asked once again.

We shook our heads and she smiled. 

“Surprises are always fun.”

We got a copy of the ultrasound before we headed to Kaitlyn’s room.

“Hey Mom and Dad.” Kaitlyn whispered.

“How’s it going little worm?”

“S-Slowly.” She mumbled.

I wrapped her in a tight hug. “You’re doing a great job.”

“I-I was going t-to fall asleep. I-I thought you g-guys were busy t-today.” She stammered. 

“It’s alright, you can fall asleep bub.” Sarah assured.

She tore out a page of her sketchbook and handed it to us. “I-It’s a list of th-things I w-want to say b-but couldn’t find a w-way too….”

She sniffled slightly before falling asleep.

I sat down beside Sarah and opened up the note.

Thank you. 

Thank you for an endless list of things, in particular,

-Adopting me

-Not abandoning me

-Encouraging me

-Taking me to the doctor

-Taking me to therapy

-Enrolling me in school

-Giving me food.

-Giving me a home

-Showing me what a family is.

I teared up and little bit and folded up the note, intending to find a safe place for it.

Sarah rested her head on my shoulder. “I love her so much.”

I smiled. “Me too.”

“Alright, let’s go home. Jaxon is probably getting bored with the babysitter.”

I nodded and took her hand as we walked out to the car.

“Everything is going by so fast.” I breathed, pulling out of the parking lot.

Sarah nodded. “It is. But I’m very excited.”

We got home without any troubles and I helped Sarah inside as her muscles were aching, and Jaxon came and gave us huge hugs. We paid the babysitter and they left without a word.

“I-I don’t l-like her. She w-was a meanie.” He pouted.

I picked him up in a hug. “I’m sorry bud. We wouldn’t taken you to see Uncle Gee but he was busy.” 

“It’s okay Daddy.” He assured, snuggling into me. “You’re nice and warm.”

I chuckled. “Good to know. Are you tired Jax?”

He nodded. “Th-the lady wouldn’t h-help me to b-bed.” He frowned.

“Let’s get you comfy in bed, alright?”

He nodded and almost fell asleep when I placed him down.

“Did you sleep last night Jax?”

“I h-had a n-nightmare…”

I brushed a few curls away from his face. “Why didn’t you tell anyone bud?”

“I-it was l-late and I c-couldn’t…”

“Well if it keeps happening, you should tell someone, okay?”

He nodded before falling asleep.

“You’re going to be a great father to this baby.” I heard Sarah whisper.

I blushed slightly. “Maybe…”

She wrapped me in a hug. “You will, don’t worry.”

“You’ll be an awesome Mom.” I assured. 

“What’s the time Bren?” She asked. 

“2…….10? Why’s that?”

She shrugged. “Just working what jobs I can get done before Nicole gets home. I might just do some washing.”

I shook my head. “You’re going to sit down and relax. No more working today.” I stated. “I’ll put a load on.”

She sighed but followed my direction and walked out to the lounge. I quickly put on a load of washing so I could join her.

I walked back into the lounge, expecting to find Sarah watching TV, but instead I found her sitting at the coffee table with a multitude of papers covering it. 

I sighed. “What are you doing?”

“Just, I’m trying to sort some stuff out for Jax.”

“I thought I told you to relax Sarah!”

She shook her head. “I really want to get this done Bren, I mean, it’s not fair on Gee and Linds that we keep dropping him over there and expecting them to look after him for free.”

“But we can do that tomorrow Sarah. Come on, let’s just watch a movie or something. Please.”

She shook her head. “I just have a few more things that I have to do, and then I think I can apply to get him a spot at the special school.”

I sat down next to her. “Well, then let me help you.”

She shrugged. “Fine. Well, basically there’s two special school’s around here that’ll take him. There’s this one here,” She showed me a webpage, “And it’s really nice. It’s got these amazing grounds and super amazing staff too, but it costs so much, it’s going to be quite a financial burden. They don’t do scholarships, either, which sucks big time. They have a financial aid package, which could help, but it would still be a lot, and I’m not even sure that we qualify. And then there’s this other one, and it’s okay I guess, but compared to the other one it’s sort of like that school Kaitlyn used to go to. It’s a lot cheaper, but they don’t really have many spots left so it could be hard to get into and then there’s still the fact that neither of these places will take him if he doesn’t have a wheelchair.”

I considered. “The first one sounds good?”

Sarah sighed and handed me a piece of paper. “I think we could afford it, but we’re really going to have to budget.”

“Well, I guess we could do that then.”

She groaned again. “But then we have the baby on the way too, and there’s no doubt that all those diapers are going to cost a lot of money.”

“What do you want to do then Sarah?” I asked.

She sighed. “I’m trying to work out our average income and how it’s all going to work out. I mean, I could go back to work, but then we’d have to put the baby in daycare and then that would cost money too!”

“Sarah, I’m working on songs. I, maybe I could release something big? Like, maybe if I write an album or something, I could put the money into paying Jax’s school fees!”

She considered. “I guess Bren, but everything is uncertain. I mean, you still have occasional breakdowns and I don’t want you to have the added pressure of this.”

“I’ve already written like 4 of the songs though. This is something that we could actually do!”

“I don’t know Bren…” She mumbled.

I gently closed the laptop lid. “You can take some time to think about it. But for now, let’s watch a movie.

She sighed and sat down on the couch. “Fine. What do you want to watch?”

I shrugged. “I want you to choose.”

She thought about it for a while. “Iron man?”

I laughed. “Okay.”

I put the DVD into the player and snuggled back with Sarah on the couch. She seemed pretty content.

“Do you want any snacks?” I asked.

She giggled slightly. “Can I have some pickles?”

I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Of course Beautiful. You can have whatever you want.”


	9. Chapter 8 - Pickles

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

I sat outside of the school, waiting for Dad, but my old friends found me first.

“You waiting for your girlfriend?” They sneered.

I sighed. They haven’t stopped giving me grief all day. 

“I don’t  _ have _ a girlfriend.” I murmured. 

“Of course you don’t! No one would want to go out with you!”

Lucy slapped me across the face. “Did that slap the gay out of you?” She asked innocently.

“No.” I muttered, picking up my bag and walking away. They left me alone after that luckily, but I was still waiting for Brendon, who was now 20 minutes late. I found myself wondering why the other girls were still here.

I saw the car come down the street, so I walked to the edge of the sidewalk. Brendon stopped the car and let me in. Sarah and Jaxon were in the car too.

“Hey guys.” I muttered, throwing my bag on the floor as I got in.

“Hey Nikki!” Jaxon chirped.

“What’s wrong?” Sarah immediately asked.

“Nothing.” I muttered.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing…”

“It’s fine Sarah. Don’t worry.” I tried to assure.

“Okay, we’re here if you want to talk.” She stated.

I nodded and looked around the window.

“Is there anywhere you want to go while we’re out?” Brendon asked.

I shook my head. “Is there any reason why everyone’s here?”

“You, Jax and I are going to the hairdressers and Bren’s going to get some groceries.”

I nodded. “That’s cool.”

“So, did you have fun at school?”

I shrugged. “I suppose.”

“That’s good.” Sarah smiled.

I bit my lip and nodded. “How were you two today?”

“We were good. Got a bit of cleaning done.”

“That’s good.” I nodded.

She shrugged. “I guess so. Still lots more to do though.”

“I’ll help when we get back.” I offered.

“Oh, no, it’s fine. Don’t worry. You can just relax.”

I shook my head. “I want to help.”

“Well, maybe you can put a load of washing on.”

I nodded. “Course.”

We pulled into a parking lot of a mall. “Alright, everyone out.”

I helped Jaxon out and we stood outside the car waiting for further instructions.

Sarah got out of the car with a bit of help from Brendon and we all walked inside. Brendon soon left us to do the groceries.

“Let’s go to the salon.” Sarah smiled, going to take Jax from me.

“I don’t want to go Mommy!” Jaxon exclaimed. 

“It’s okay Jax.” I assured. “Remember when I used to cut your hair with the scissors at our old apartment?”

“Y-Yeah?” He stammered.

“Well, that’s all they’re going to do. But they’re going to be a bit better at it than I was.”

“Y-You were fine. I-It’s still scary though. I-it’s a stranger!”

“It’ll be fine bud. Nikki and I will be there the whole time.” Sarah promised.

“O-Okay…” He whispered unsurely.

We walked to the salon and Sarah talked to the lady for a little bit, before we were directed into a waiting room. There were a bunch of other kids playing with some toy trucks on the floor.

“Do you want to go and play with them bud?” Sarah asked.

He shook his head. “I-I don’t want to e-embarrass myself…”

Sarah just cuddled him until he was called up.

“I-I don’t w-wanna go.” He whimpered. “I-It’s too scary.”

Sarah carried him over. “It’s okay bud. You’ll be fine. It’s just a haircut.”

The hairdresser put him on a small stool on the chair before draping the cape over him. He was still scared and kept looking over to me. 

“It’s okay Jax.” I assured, taking his hand.

“So how do you want it cut?” The hairdresser asked Jaxon. “Do you want me to leave it a little long or do you want it really short?”

“I-I don’t know…” He stammered.

“Leave it a bit long. Keep him cute.” Sarah smiled.

The hairdresser nodded. “That’s what I was thinking.”

Once she wet and brushed out his hair, we could see how long it actually was. The curls made it look a lot shorter than it was.

“Wow bud. Good thing we’re getting it cut.” Sarah told him.

He tried to blow some strands off his eyes. “I g-guess….”

She was about to start but once Jaxon saw the scissors he got scared again.

“I-I wanna go h-home…”

“You’re okay Jax.” I assured.

He clenched his eyes closed the whole time the hairdresser gently cut away at his hair.

“We’re almost done Jax. You’re doing great.” Sarah comforted.

“I-I didn’t r-realise y-you started…” He whispered.

“It’s almost over bud.” I smiled.

He peeked in the mirror and watched the hairdresser finish up.

She gently brushed all the hair off the cape and smiled. “All done.”

Sarah smiled and helped Jaxon out once the cape was off. “Are you going to go Nicole?”

I nodded and sat up on the stool. “Yep.”

Jaxon’s face scrunched up as the hairdresser got me ready. “It smells funny in here.”

“That’s all the hairspray bud.” Sarah explained.

“I don’t like it.” He pouted.

The hairstylist turned to me. “What do you want?”

I pulled my ponytail out and ran my hands through it. “It might be a little controversial, but I want to cut it really short.”

“Well how short are you thinking?”

“Like, really short. You know, too short to ponytail short. Like, um, sort of long on top and then it parts in the middle but then at the back it’s really short. It’s hard to explain.”

“Alright, well I’ll get some style books and we’ll see if there's something in there so you don’t have to try to explain it.”

I smiled and nodded. “Sounds good.”

She walked away before returning with a few books. She handed them to me to look at while she made sure she was ready.

I pointed at a picture. “Yeah, that one there. That’s the one I was trying to explain.”

“Alright. Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Definitely.”

“Do you still have that hair tie?”

I nodded and handed it to the hairdresser.

She quickly tied my hair back up into a loose ponytail. “Are you 100% certain?”

I smiled at myself in the mirror. “Totally.”

“Awesome.” She smiled. She started cutting off the ponytail and Jaxon looked shocked.

“W-What’s happening to N-Nikki’s hair?”

“It’s okay bud. I’m getting it cut, just like you did.” I assured.

“Y-Your hair isn’t s-super long anymore.”

I grinned. “I know. That’s why I like it.”

The hairdresser handed me the ponytail. “Does it feel lighter?”

I nodded. “It’s awesome.”

She finished cutting away and used the clippers around the back, before pulling the cape off. “Done.”

“I-it’s shorter than mine!”

“No it’s not.” I promised, ruffling Jaxon’s hair. “Only at the back. It’s longer than yours at the front.”

“It looks really good.” Sarah smiled.

I grinned. “I’m glad you think so.”

“Do you wanna hold Jaxon for me?” She asked.

I nodded and took him from Sarah. “Your new hair is super handsome bud.”

He smiled. “Yours is super cool! Is Mommy getting a haircut too?”

“I don’t know actually. Sarah, are you getting a haircut too?”

She shrugged. “Why not?”

“Are you going to go super dooper short too?” Jaxon asked nervously.

She shook her head. “Not  _ that _ short.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Good.”

She sat down in the chair and continued talking to Jaxon while she waited.

The hairdresser returned with clean tools. “So what can I do for you?”

“I just want it a bit shorter so it’s easier to maintain. I just don’t have enough time to mess around with it constantly.”

She nodded. “A trim, coming up.”

“What’s a trim?” Jaxon asked me.

“Just when they only cut a little bit off.” I explained.

He nodded and snuggled into me, resting his head on my shoulder. “You’re comfy.”

I smiled. “Good to know Jax.”

He stayed there for awhile, and quietly watched Sarah get her hair cut.

Sarah smiled when it was finished. “It looks good.”

The hairdresser beamed proudly. “Glad you like it.”

Sarah grabbed her things and paid the salon, and we headed out to go and get some lunch from the food court.

“Brendon said he’d meet with us here.”

“O-Okay.” Jaxon nodded.

“What do you guys want for lunch?”

Jaxon looked around nervously. “I don’t w-want to e-eat here.”

“Why not Jax?” I asked.

“B-Because you g-guys have to f-feed me a-and then people s-stare…”

“Well we’ll meet up with Dad and get something to eat at home, okay?” Sarah proposed.

He nodded glumly. “S-Sorry…”

“It’s alright Jax. It’s fine.” I assured.

“Y-You can get something if you want!” He tried to propose.

“It’s fine Jaxon. Don’t worry bud.”

He sighed again and just leaned back into me.

Eventually Brendon joined us with handfuls of groceries.

“Wow! Look at you three! You all look amazing!” He smiled.

Sarah smiled. “Thanks Bren. Is it alright if we just pick something up to eat at home?”

“Are you craving weird hybrid foods again?”

“It’s actually for Jax...”

He looked at Jaxon. “What’s up bud?”

“I-I don’t want p-people looking at m-me…”

Brendon put the shopping down and scooped Jaxon into a hug. “Okay bud. We can go home then.”

“Th-thank you D-Daddy.” He whispered.

I picked up the shopping and we walked back out to the car. The drive home was mostly spend it silence with a few attempts to start conversation from Brendon.

Once we were home, Brendon took all the bags in, not giving me a chance to help.

“Washing.” I muttered to myself, remembering the conversation before the haircut. I collected the clothes from the bathroom and put a load on to help out.

I walked out to go relax in the lounge and overheard what Jaxon was saying.

“I-I’m sorry I’m a p-pain Daddy….M-Maybe you should l-leave too…”

“No Jax. Please, you’re not a pain at all, and I’m not going anywhere.” He assured.

“I-If I was just n-normal none of this stuff w-would happen. D-Dad wouldn’t h-have left and w-we’d be at the a-apartment w-where I can’t a-annoy you.”

Brendon hugged him tightly. “You don’t annoy me bud. Not at all.”

“I-I always c-change your plans.”

“That’s fine though. I don’t mind at all.”

“I w-want to go to b-bed….”

“Alright, let's get you to the bedroom.” Brendon mumbled, picking Jaxon up.

******Brendon’s Point Of View******

“D-Do you still l-love me D-Daddy?” Jaxon asked quietly.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” 

“Y-You and M-Mommy need l-lots of money f-for me. I-I’m a p-pain…”

“No you’re not. We spend the money because we love you. And we don’t spend any extra on you than we do to Kaitlyn and Nicole, okay?”

He just cried into the pillow and didn’t give a response. 

“Are you okay bud?”

He shook his head.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, concerned.

“I-It’s nothing. I’m b-being silly.” He stumbled over his words.

“Talk to me bud. You don’t sound okay, and I want to know why.”

He shook his head. “I-It’s silly. I-I don’t want to w-waste your t-time.” 

“I’m not leaving until you tell me.”

“I-I just- I don’t know. I-I’m just s-sad.” 

I pulled him into a hug. “Why are you sad Jax?”

“I-I don’t know.” He whimpered. “ I-I’m sorry D-Daddy…” 

“Shh. Don’t be sorry. Here, what can make you happy?”

He opened his mouth to say something but he cowered under the sheets before he could.

“Jax, please. Come on, what do you want to do tomorrow? It can be as crazy as you want.”

“I w-want things I c-can’t have.” 

“What sort of things?”

“I j-just want to b-be able to d-do normal things by m-myself b-but I can’t!” 

I pulled him into a hug. “I know it’s hard Jax, but we can’t focus on that. There’s so many things you can do!”

“N-not really…” 

“Of course there is. You can talk, you can tell jokes and make us laugh, you help Sarah and Nicole when they cook, and you make us so happy! There’s so many things you can do bud.”

I j-just want to b-be able to w-walk.” He sniffled.

“I know bud. I’m sorry.” I sighed.

“W-Why can’t I anyway? That’s j-just mean.” 

“I guess it’s just the way that things worked out bud. Just like I was born with a really big forehead, you were born like this. And we can’t really change these things bud. I’m sorry.”

He snuggled up in my lap. “You’re a g-good Daddy. Thank y-you.” 

I smiled. “Thanks Jax.”

“Do you l-like being a dad?” He asked, wiping away some of his tears. 

I nodded. “It’s the best.”

“That’s cool, I guess.” 

“Are you still wanting to sleep or do you want to come out now?” I asked.

“C-Can I come o-out?”

I nodded and carried him out to the kitchen, where everyone else was. “So what are you doing?”

“Schoolwork.” Nicole muttered.

“Fun.” I remarked as I sat down next to her.

She shrugged. “It’s what it is.” 

“What subject?” I asked.

“Maths.” 

I groaned. “That sucks.”

“Well apparently if I miss anymore homework I’ll get a stupid after school detention, so….” 

“Haven’t you been doing it?” Sarah asked from the kitchen.

“Uh…” 

“We might need to set up a homework regime.” I stated.

“I have been doing it…” 

“Well, then why did you say is you miss anymore homework you’ll get a detention?”

She shrugged. “The teachers hate me?” 

“Well we’ll ask them about that at teacher interviews.’ 

She nodded and went back to her homework.

“When I go to school will I get homework?” Jaxon asked curiously.

“Maybe. I don’t actually know.” 

“When am I going to school?” He asked. “Bandit’s my age and  _ she  _ goes to school.”

“Hopefully soon.” I answered. “Mommy and I are working on it.” 

“I really wanna go!” He exclaimed. “I wanna make some friends and do some work and learn to read and that stuff!”

“You will as soon as you can Jax.” 

He smiled. “Cool.”

“How’s Kaitlyn going?” Nicole asked.

“Recovery is slow as always.” I sighed.

“Her friends from school want to come and visit. They won’t stop pestering me to ask you if they can.”

“Tell them they can. I’m sure she’d appreciate it.”

Nicole smiled and nodded. “I think so too.”

“Are you going to be okay to cook dinner by yourself again tonight Nicole? I need to sit down.” 

She nodded. “Of course Sarah.”

“Thanks. Sorry for making you do it so much. I’ll have to make it up to you somehow.” 

Nicole chuckled. “Don’t worry about it Sarah. It’s my favourite hobby.”

“Alright, if you say so. I’ll be in the bedroom if you need me.” 

Nicole put her pen down and walked into the kitchen. “See you soon Sarah.”

I tried to keep Jaxon entertained while everyone was busy. I had a huge wave of inspiration but I knew someone had to watch him so I tried to keep thinking about it so I wouldn’t lose it.

“What are you thinking about Daddy?” He asked.

I snapped out of my daze. “Just work, don’t worry.” 

“You can put me in front of the TV if you want to go and do some work.” He shrugged.

I shook my head. “It’s not important.” 

“If you say so.” He mumbled.

“And besides, I like talking to you.” 

He giggled. “Thanks Daddy.”

“No problem.” I smiled. “So was the haircut as scary as you thought it’d be?” 

He shook his head. “It was weird though.”

“Why’s that?” 

“It just feels funny now that it’s shorter.”

“Weird. I wouldn’t have thought it’d feel much different at all.” 

“It’s lighter. And it feels funny.”

I chuckled. “If you say so bud.” 

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know…” 

“I’m bored.”

“I don’t know how to help you there.” 

“DINNER!” Nicole called.

I carried him back to the kitchen where we sat down. Nicole handed us all a bowl and Sarah joined us, although she still looked half asleep.

“You right Sarah?” 

“Yeah…” She murmured as she started eating.

I shrugged and fed Jaxon a bit before eating some food of my own.

“Sorry if I’m being a pain Daddy…”

“You aren’t, don’t worry.” I assured.

Nicole took Jaxon’s spoon and fed him a bit more so I could eat for longer. I gave her a small smile to say thanks.

I quickly finished up and returned to Jaxon. Nicole had almost finished but handed me the spoon nethertheless.

I gave him another spoonful. “This is good, right?”

He shrugged.

“I think it’s great. Your sister is an amazing cook.”

Nicole smiled. “Thanks.” 

I quickly finished feeding Jaxon before I finished my own food.

“I’m sorry Daddy…” 

“Why?” I asked mindlessly.

“Your food isn’t h-hot anymore…” 

“It’s warm. Don’t worry.” I assured as I finished the last bite.

He sat glumly with his head down.

Nicole took the bowls to the kitchen and I pulled him onto my lap. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“J-Just take me to b-bed.” 

“Are you sure bud?”

He nodded silently.

I carried him to the bedroom and tucked him in with all his stuffed animals. “Comfy?”

He shrugged and snuggled into the sheets, facing away from me.

I pressed a kiss to his head and ruffled his hair before leaving with a sigh.

I wandered into the bedroom and Sarah was sitting there, reading. 

“Where’s Jaxon?” She asked, not looking up.

“Bed.” I sighed as I said next to her.

“What’s up with him?” 

“I don’t know. He’s so glum.” I explained.

“I’m gonna take him to the doctors tomorrow. See what we can sort out for him.” 

I nodded. “What do you mean by that?”

She sighed. “See if we can work out a wheelchair.” 

“I see.” I murmured.

“Are you gonna come with us?” 

I shrugged. “If you want me to.”

“I think Jax would want you to come.” 

“I guess I’ll come then.”

“I feel horrible though…” 

“Why?” I asked.

“Because he just wants to be normal and this sort of secures he won’t ever be.” 

I sighed. “I guess this is the way that these things have to go.”

“Doesn’t make it any easier…” 

“True.” I murmured.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten into this.” She sighed. “What do you want to talk about?” 

“Whatcha reading?” I asked.

“Just the usual. Parenting stuff.” 

I sighed. “You don’t need to read that Sarah. You’re a fabulous parent.”

“Not fabulous enough obviously.” She mumbled.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because Kaitlyn’s in hospital and Jaxon’s always so sad and I just know Nicole is having issues at school and just, well, everything.” 

I pressed a kiss to her cheek. “But you’re doing everything you can to help and that’s what makes you a good parent.”

“Apparently everything I can do isn’t enough.” 

I sighed. “We just...we have troubled kids Sarah. It’s not your fault at all.”

“Yes but it's all of them. It’s not like it’s just one.” She mumbled. “I have to do something.” 

“And the something is reading parenting books?”

“And hopefully taking classes if I can get in.” 

“Classes? Seriously? What do you need classes for?!”

“So I can help them.” She stated simply.

I sighed. “What sort of classes?”

“Parenting and psychological ones.” 

I sighed. “Do you honestly think you need those?”

She shrugged. “Not really, but it may help. I took most of the psychological ones when I was first starting to help you.” 

I started to feel uncomfortable. “When did that happen?”

“Oh, gosh, a good few years ago, why?’ 

“Because I don’t remember…” I murmured.

“Well I tried to hide it so you wouldn’t feel bad.” 

“Yeah…” I murmured.

“Anyway,” She placed some pamphlets on the bed. “Since you’re so curious.” 

I lifted one up and sighed. “Sarah, you don’t need to attend a seminar on ‘beginner parenting’.”

“The worst thing that could happen is that I don’t learn anything. Clearly playing safe isn’t working Brendon. I just need to try everything.” 

“But honestly Sarah, I think you’re an expert on beginner parenting. I reckon you could  _ teach  _ this seminar.”

She sighed and flopped back onto the bed. “I just don’t know.” 

I put the pamphlets into the draw of my bedside table. “Just focus on the baby shower at the moment. And Jax. Everything else can wait, including all these useless things.”

“This gives me a distraction anyway Brendon. I swear, all this baby has been so far is stress and pain.” 

I put my hand on her stomach. “I’m pretty sure this baby is 90 percent pickles.”

She giggled. “Maybe. That sounds like a horrible nickname honestly. Pickles. Weird.” 

I chuckled. “From now on, that’s what I’m referring to it as. Pickles.”

She smiled. “The poor kid.” She giggled.

I shrugged. “Eh. Pickles doesn’t care. Don’t you, pickles?”

Then I felt the baby kick under my hand.

Sarah smiled. “I think it likes the name.”

I nodded. “I think so.” 

“We can’t name it Pickles though.” Sarah told me sternly.

I frowned. “Why not?” 

She giggled. “Because we can’t have a kid named Pickles!”

“Well what shall we name them?” 

She thought about it for a bit. “For a girl, I like Rosemary.”

I smiled. “Cute.” 

“And for a boy, I was thinking Levi.”

“You have some awesome baby names.” 

“What about you Bren? Do you have any ideas that you like?”

I shrugged. “Sora is pretty cool for a girl. I don’t know. I’m not good at this like you.” 

“Sora is pretty.” she agreed. “For a boy?”

“Ummm….” I considered. “Cole?” 

“Nicole and Cole, Bren. I’m not sure about that.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. You should decide.” 

She thought about it. “I like Christopher. Or Parker. They’re nice.”

I nodded. “They are indeed. So’s Tristen, I suppose.” 

She nodded. “That’s true. For a girl I also really like Mikayla.”

“That’s pretty cool.” 

Sarah handed me a baby names book. “I’ve been highlighting ones I like.”

“I still like Pickles.”

She giggled. “Pickles can be a nickname  _ only _ . They need to have an actual, serious name too.” 

“What are names that start with P?” I asked, flicking through the baby names book. “That way the nickname can make more sense.”

“Paris, Paige, Preston. There’s tonnes.” 

“I like Pepper, I guess.” I murmured as I ran my finger down the page.

“Eh….” 

“Phoebe?” I suggested. “That’s pretty.”

She nodded. “It is quite nice.” 

“Piper? Oh, and Phoenix. I like those too.”

“They’re very nice.” 

“And when you said Parker before, that’s cool too.”

“How comfy are you right now Bren?” She asked,

“Uh, moderately?”

“Well Pickles wants some pickles.” She murmured.

I laughed. “I’ll go get pickles for Pickles.”

“Thanks Bren.” 

I got up from my seat and walked to the kitchen, grabbing the pickles from the fridge before returning to the bedroom.

She smiled. “Thank you so much. You want any?” 

I shook my head. “Not for me, thanks. You and Pickles enjoy them though.”

“We will.” She assured. “Do you know where Nicole is?”

“She’s doing homework.” I shrugged.

“Still? She has to head to bed soon anyway so she isn’t tired.” 

I nodded. “Of course. Do you want me to go out and tell her?”

“I will in a sec.” She stated, putting the lid back on the jar.

I shook my head and stood up. “I’ll do it. Do you want me to take the pickles out?”

“You’ve been doing everything Bren. I’ll do it. Don’t worry.” 

“But you have Pickles on board. Don’t worry bout a thing.” I said, taking the jar and walking towards the door.

She picked herself up and wobbled over to the door and took the jar from me.

“Sarah, please just sit down.” I sighed.

“No, shhh. I’m going to do it.” 

I sighed and followed her out to the kitchen.

“Nicole, bub, you need to pack up and go to bed now. It’s getting late.” She said quietly.

She nodded and closed her book. “I just finished anyway.”

“That’s good. Goodnight.” 

She hugged Sarah and I before heading off to bed.

“Jeez. Pickles is one heavy baby.” Sarah essentially panted, sitting down.

“Are you alright?” I asked, fussing over her. 

She nodded. “Just sore.” 

“Want a massage?” I offered.

She smiled. “That’d be lovely.” 


	10. Chapter 9- Kabutos In The Hospital

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View*******

“You have some visitors today bub.” Sarah smiled as she sat down.

“Who are they?”

She smiled. “It’s a surprise.”

“A good surprise, hopefully.” I murmured. “I’ve had enough unpleasant ones.”

“I think you’ll like it.” Sarah assured.

“Well that’s good, I suppose.”

She ruffled my hair. “So how are you feeling?”

I shrugged. “Not too bad, truthfully.”

“That’s good to hear!” She beamed.

“Yeah, I guess.” I smiled slightly.

“I’m hungry.” Brendon stated from the corner.

I giggled. “Like always.”

Sarah opened her purse and handed him some money. “You can go and get some food Bren.”

“Thanks.” He stated, getting up, taking the money then rushing out of the room.

I laughed. “He hasn’t changed a bit.”

Sarah shook her head. “Nope. He wants to call the baby Pickles too.”

I giggled. “Really?”

She nodded. “Really.”

“That’s crazy!” I laughed. “I mean, imagine telling people the baby’s name is Pickles!”

She smiled. “That’s Brendon for ya. Crazy.”

“He is. But I think it’s a good crazy. Not a bad crazy like me.”

Sarah frowned. “You aren’t like that at all bub. You aren’t crazy, or bad crazy as you put it. I hate knowing you think of yourself like that.”

I sighed. “Sorry…”

“You just shouldn’t call yourself those things.”

“B-But it’s true Sarah!” I protested.

“It’s not true bub, not at all.” She stated.

“Why not? People who aren’t crazy don’t have to cry every time they try and eat, they don’t need to be packed full of pills to stop them from seeing things that aren’t there. Face it Mom, you have a crazy, insane daughter.”

“I suppose I have a crazy husband then too, don’t I?”

“Brendon doesn’t see things that aren’t there and he can eat normally. He’s nowhere near as crazy as I am.”

“He sees things when he has flashbacks, or sometimes when he has episodes.”

“But not every day! Not whenever he’s not heavily medicated!”

“If he doesn’t his medication, of which there is a fair amount, he will have an episode and as I said previously, he may have delusions when he has an episode.”

“B-But I hallucinate all the time!”

“And? What I’m saying is you can’t call yourself crazy unless you’re going to call Brendon crazy too because there are a lot of parallels.”

I folded my arms. “Fine. I’ll just think it then.”

“That’s truly not much better. Thoughts are probably more dangerous to you than words.”

I sighed. “It’s the truth Sarah. I’m sorry, but it’s the truth and I don’t want to dance around it and pretend that it doesn’t exist because it does.”

“The fact you may need help exists, the fact you’re crazy doesn’t.”

“Well, then why else would I need help?” I asked.

“Well we all need help in different ways. Life’s too hard trying to do it alone.”

“Yes, but I need extreme psychological help because I’m crazy.”

“You aren’t crazy. This conversation is ending here.”

I sighed. “Whatever.”

Brendon eventually came back with lots of food and almost no change.

“Did you buy enough food Brendon?” Sarah asked, slightly annoyed.

He took another bite of his hot dog. “I don’t know, did I? Did you want something too?”

“God dammit Brendon.” She sighed.

He reluctantly held out one of his hot dogs. “Here…”

She pushed it away. “I actually ate before we came.”

He shrugged and ate the three hotdogs he had brought back with him.

“God you’re useless.” She muttered.

“I offered you some!” He defended.

“You honestly didn’t need to buy that much food! One would’ve been enough!”

“I was hungry.” He shrugged. “I didn’t eat before we came, unlike you.”

“You don’t say.” She mumbled.

Brendon shrugged and opened the fourth hotdog.

“Just stop!” She snapped, frustrated. 

He stopped chewing. “Stop what?”

“Eating! You’ve had enough! You’re like a pig Brendon!”

He frowned. “What am I supposed to do with the food then?”

“Save it for later, obviously.”

He sighed and put the hotdog on the table beside him, before taking a sip of his giant soda.

“And you’re still going.” She mumbled.

“You said stop eating! This isn’t eating!” He defended. “Want some?”

“No!” She yelled. 

He curled up. “Sorry….”

“I’ll be back soon.” She sighed.

Brendon looked up at her. “Where are you going?”

“Just for a walk.” She whispered before leaving the room.

Brendon sighed. “Sorry you had to see that little worm.”

“It’s okay. I probably made her frustrated…”

“No you didn’t. It was me and my six hotdogs.”

“Why’d you buy so many anyway?”

“I was hungry.” He stated plainly.

“Can I have some?” I asked quietly.

He grinned and handed me one. “Of course.”

I ate a little bit and was about to stop myself but I looked over to Brendon before deciding to take another.

He pulled his phone out. “I’ve started playing that Pokemon game that everyone’s playing.”

“And how’s that going?”

“I’m level three now. It’s cool.” He smiled.

“That’s cool, I suppose.”

He turned his screen so I could see. “I caught this one downstairs. It’s a Psyduck.”

“That’s a weird name…”

He nodded. “It’s cool though. But this one, this one here is my favourite.”

He put a different pokemon on the screen, this one potentially weirder than the previous.

“Why are they all so weird?” I asked.

He giggled. “They just are little worm.”

“If you say so…”

He nodded and leaned back on his chair. He seemed pretty bored for a moment before his face lit up.

“There’s one on you Kaitlyn!”

“What?” I stammered, confused.

“Dammit! I’m out of Pokeballs! I’m never going to catch this Pidgey!”

“Is it like, an important one or something?”

He shook his head. “Smile, I’ll get a picture of you with it.”

I tucked myself under the covers.

“Aww. Come on Kaitlyn. Please?”

“No. Take a picture of the pokemon. It’ll look better than me anyway.”

He sighed and clicked his phone off before pushing it into his pocket.

“I-I’m sorry….”

“It’s fine little worm.” He shrugged.

I sighed. “I’m always a pain.”

He shook his head and pulled his phone back out. “Don’t tell Sarah I’m spending real money on pokeballs.”

I giggled. “This is the start of some sort of addiction.”

“Level four! I’m level four!” He grinned.

“I think you need to find something better to do with your time Dad.”

He shrugged. “This is fun.”

“Such a nerd.”

He frowned. “You’re the nerd.”

“And what makes you say that?”

“Eh. You study and you’re really smart and all that.”

My face fell. “Not anymore…”

“Of course you are! You can’t get any less smart little worm.”

“Yeah I can.” I whimpered. 

“Why are you so down today little worm? Can I help?”

“I’m sorry...I just sort of wish I wasn’t here. I’d rather be at school than here.”

“You’re almost there though. Only another week, and then you’re home. Your Grandma and Grandpa are very excited to meet you.”

“A whole nother week.” I mumbled, defeated.

“It’ll go faster than you think little worm.” He assured.

“I’ll just sleep the week away.” I mumbled, snuggling into the bedsheets.

“That sounds nice actually.” Brendon mumbled.

“I don’t even like sleep.”

“I do, but I have a lot of trouble with it.”

“Why’s that?”

“My medication stops me from feeling tired so I have trouble sleeping. It’s only now that me and Nicole and the puppies go running in the morning that I’m actually sleeping pretty well.”

“Well it’s good you found a solution.”

He nodded. “The puppies will be glad to see you. I ask them ‘where’s Kaitlyn?’ and it’s so cute, they run into your room and jump up on your bed.”

I smiled. “Everyone’s probably used to me being gone though.”

He shook his head. “It’s not right when you’re not there.”

“It’s easier though.”

“Not at all.”

“It is easier, because you don’t need to worry about me. It must be pure bliss.” I mumbled.

“It’s not because we still worry. So much more. It’s so much better when we know you’re healthy.”

“Please, just give up on me.” My voice wavered. “Everyone else has.”

“Never. Never ever ever.”

“Please.” My voice was cracking now.

“What’s wrong little worm?” Brendon asked, sounding rather concerned.

“I-I need you to l-leave, and b-be okay with n-never coming back…”

“Why would you want me to do that?” He asked, baffled.

“You j-just need to. I-It’ll be a l-lot cheaper that w-way.”

Brendon sighed. “Do you want me to call Indigo?”

I shook my head. “S-She won’t help.” 

“Why do you think that it would be better if I left? I’d be miserable, and I think you’d be miserable too.”

“D-Don’t be sad. J-Just don’t think about m-me. It’s a l-lot easier that w-way.”

“Of course I think about you little worm. I love you.”

I closed my eyes and started crying. “You n-need to leave, p-please!”

Brendon stroked my hair and pulled my into a hug. “Shh. That’s not true.”

“I-I don’t w-want you to….nevermind….” I whispered.

“No, what? What don’t you want me to do?”

“N-no, it’s fine. D-Don’t worry.”

“I’m worrying. Talk to me little worm.”

“P-Please don’t worry. I-I’m not worth it.” I whimpered.

“Of course you’re worth it little worm.”

Sarah stood at the doorway. “I’m back. Hey, what’s up?”

“N-Nothing. W-What’s the date?”

She looked at her phone. “The 6th of February.”

“Th-thanks.”

“Why?”

I wanted to spill everything out but I couldn’t. “N-No reason…”

“Oh. Well, your friends are here to see you.”

“Oh….” I bit my lip nervously.

“Do you want me to let them in?”

I nodded silently.

She disappeared for a moment before returning with Dana, Phil and Byron. Byron was holding a bunch of flowers.

I went to say something but ended up just giving them a small wave and slight smile instead.

“Hey Kaitlyn!” Dana grinned as she sat down next to me. “It’s so good to see you!”

“Y-Yeah…” I whispered.

“How are you feeling?” Phil asked.

“Truthfully?” I asked. “Not great.”

“Here, I, um, I brought flowers.” Byron said unsurely as he handed me the bunch.

“Thanks.” I smiled slightly.

“Do you like them?”

I nodded. “They’re nice.”

Brendon was silently glaring at Byron from the corner.

“Y-You guys didn’t have to c-come, you know that, r-right?”

“But we wanted to! You’re our friend and when we heard the news of what happened, god, it scared us. It’s so good to see you.”

“How’d you find out anyway?”

“Nicole.” Byron explained. “A couple of people from school were harassing her so I stepped in and then she told me everything.”

“What does  _ everything _ consist of?”

“Um, what happened with her and then she was telling me about you and then I told Dana and Phil and then we had to bug her for a while to get us to allow us to visit you.”

“Right….so does everyone at school know?”

“We thought you’d prefer to keep on the down low. Only we know.” Dana assured.

I sighed in relief. “Thanks.”

“Do you guys mind if I go on a pokemon walk?” Brendon asked.

Sarah just sighed but Dana and Phil were sitting there laughing. 

“Go ahead. There’s nothing though.” Byron stated.

“Did you already check?”

He nodded. “There’s nothing in hospitals. Except maybe your zubats and pidgeys and such.”

“There’s a playground nearby. Did you go there?”

“Nope.”

Brendon grabbed his jacket. “You kids have fun. See you later.”

“You’re calling  _ us _ kids?”

He left the room without another word.

I sighed and flopped onto the bed. “I don’t think I’ve had my medication yet…”

“I’ll go see if I can talk to the doctors.” Sarah said before leaving the room.

“Why did I bring it up?” I mumbled.

“Seems your parents don’t want to stick around.” Byron murmured.

I frowned. “M-Maybe….”

“Oh well. At least now we can just talk normally.” Phil shrugged.

“I guess so…” I whispered. 

“Hey, you didn’t tell me you’d got some comics.” Byron smiled slightly as he picked up the collection left for my by Gerard.

“Y-Yeah, my u-uncle, I guess, g-gave them t-to me. They’re a-apparently some of his f-favourites.”

He started looking through them. “These are some pretty good issues.”

“I guess.”

“So when are you coming back to school?” Phil asked.

I shrugged. “I think I have one week left in here, then it just depends, I suppose.”

“Right. Well, you aren’t really missing much.” Dana shrugged.

“I’m sure I’ve missed heaps.”

“Surprisingly not.” Phil chuckled. “The teachers are on strike or something at the moment and the majority of the classes are free time.”

“Oddly well timed.” 

Byron laughed. “Yep.”

Sarah then returned with my medication, making me once again regret bringing it up.

“Here bub.” She said, handing me the pills with a cup of water.

“That’s a lot of medication.” Byron stated unsurely.

“Y-Yeah….” I bowed my head, embarrassed.

“Eh. It’s not so bad I’ve been on more.” Dana shrugged.

I quickly took the pills and placed the cup on the bedside table. “I suppose it’s a good reminder that I’m both crazy and in hospital.”

“I think I’m crazier than you are Kaitlyn.” Phil stated.

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“We’re all crazy!” Dana exclaimed. “Oh wait, except for Byron. Sorry man, you’re not crazy like us.”

I giggled. “I don’t know whether or not that’s a bad thing.”

“It’s horrible and brilliant at the same time.” She grinned.

Byron just looked confused. “What are you three talking about?”

“Is it fine if I tell all the details?” I asked Dana and Phil.

“Sure.” They responded casually.

“So basically, I met these two weirdos in a teenage mental facility, so basically, we all met because we’re crazy. You decide whether or not that’s a good thing.”

“I’d say it’s a good thing.” Byron shrugged. “In fact I’m a little jealous of not being a member of your little club.”

“So you should be. We kick ass at trivia too!” Dana laughed.

“Well, Kaitlyn does.” Phil said. “And she can paint too!”

“I don’t know about that…” I blushed slightly.

“You got first. You are an  _ amazing  _ painter.” Dana told me.

“And an awesome sketcher.” Byron added.

I smiled. “Thanks guys.”

“Eh, it’s the truth.” Phil shrugged. “I can’t even paint a duck.”

“What were you talking about!? That was a beautiful…..duck….” Dana giggled.

“It looked radioactive!”

“Maybe you should join us in Art.” Byron laughed.

He shook his head. “Nope. I shouldn’t be near art stuff at all.”

“You could be an abstract artist or something?”

He shrugged. “BMX is more fun. And besides, I’m not completely crap at it.”

“So, like, if you’re all um, crazy, what do you have?” Byron asked nervously.

“Well I personally have PTSD, depression and well, schizophrenia.” I mumbled.

“I have borderline personality disorder.” Phil explained. “And Dana’s bipolar.”

Byron nodded. “I see.”

“You c-can leave i-if you w-want…”

He looked baffled. “Why would I do that?”

“Well I-I wouldn’t want to b-be around me.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m crazy.”

“So am I.” Dana shrugged. “It’s not a bad thing if you don’t let it become one.”

“Well I guess I’ve let it become bad.” I murmured, shuffling under the sheets.

“You don’t have to accept that though. As soon as you make the decision that you’re not going to let it be bad anymore, then it’s easier to control. Trust me, Dana and I have both done it.” Phil explained.

“Maybe I just can’t!”

“Of course you can. It’s just a mindset.”

I remained silently tucked away and just tried to not take out my frustration out on them.

Brendon walked back in the room, a big grin on his face. “I caught a lickitung!”

“Eh, I’ve caught like, 5.” Byron stated.

Brendon frowned. “Well, have you caught a Tangela?”

He nodded. “There’s tonnes around my house.”

“Magnemite?”

“Mhmm.”

“Uh… Scyther?”

He shook his head. “Don’t think I have that one.”

“Ha! I caught one of those!” Brendon bragged.

Byron chuckled. “Good job.”

Brendon frowned. “Well, I think it’s pretty great.”

“I’m sure it is.”

Brendon poked his tongue out at Byron before sitting down.

I just wanted everyone to go away so I could just snuggle and talk with Brendon but it was clear that wasn’t going to happen.

“So I found this thing.” Dana said, pulling a piece of paper out of her bag.

“W-What is it?” 

“Well there’s this trivia competition in about a month and I thought maybe we could enter. The winning team wins $500 bucks!”

“W-We can if y-you want, I g-guess.”

“We want you to come. You’re the smartest person we know.” Phil explained.

“You’d b-be much better with someone e-else.”

“Who else would we ask?” Byron asked rhetorically. “You’re our friend and we want you to come!”

“I g-guess I have to th-then…”

“You can go if you want little worm.” Brendon murmured, not really paying attention.

“I-I don’t know i-if I do…”

“Well, we can’t force you. You can take your time to decide.” Dana shrugged.

“No, no, I-I’ll go if you w-want.”

She handed me the paper. “You can get back to us.”

“So you want me to go?”

“It would be awesome if you came.” Phil smiled.

“I g-guess I will then…”

Byron attempted to change the topic of the conversation. “Any ideas for our art project?”

I shook my head. “What was it again?”

“Um… life’s a beach?”

“I might have a slight idea…”

“That’s cool. I’m struggling with it at the moment. Doesn’t help that the art teacher is sick and we’ve had substitutes.”

“That does indeed suck.”

“Yeah. Well, at least we’ve got the whole semester.”

“I guess.” I sighed.

“What’s your idea?”

“It’s sort of like a timeline, with like, birth being a nice clean beach and sad moments being litter-filled.”

“I see. That’s cool.” He smiled.

“Do you have any ideas at all?”

“Well, my original idea was like, each grain of sand is a memory and I was going to make like, an hourglass but the grains of sand are pictures of important memories.” He explained. “But I’m not sure about that.”

“That’s a cool idea.” I affirmed.

He shrugged. “I guess. But I sort of want to incorporate comics into it somehow. Oh well. It’s my last resort.”

I nodded, before yawning. I tried to hide it and pretend it didn't happen.

“Tired?” Phil asked.

“A little bit…” I mumbled, slightly embarrassed.

He looked down at his watch. “I should probably get going. Mom will be getting worried.”

I nodded. “Thanks for coming to visit though.”

He smiled and hugged me. “It was good to see you. See you at school soon.” And in a completely unexpected act, he kissed my cheek before waving goodbye and leaving the room without another word.

“What time is it anyway?” Dana asked.

“Three.” Sarah explained.

“Shivers. Sorry, I have to go.”

“That’s okay. Thanks for coming.” 

“Stay safe and get well soon, I suppose.”

“Have fun at school, I guess.”

She waved goodbye before walking out of the room.

“Well, I should probably go too then.” Byron shrugged awkwardly. “Get well soon I guess.”

“Bye!” I smiled.

He waved before leaving me with just my family.

“You seem pretty friendly with the boys…” Brendon stated.

I blushed. “U-Um…”

“I assume you aren’t dating either of them, correct?”

I shook my head wildly. “N-Not at all.”

“Good.” He stated simply. 

“W-Why do you care?”

“This was explained ages ago. A bad relationship could make your condition much worse.”

“B-But a good o-one?”

He shrugged. “We just shouldn’t risk it.”

I frowned. “B-But Phil and Byron are n-nice!”

“Yes but sometimes people change Kaitlyn.”

“Seasons change, people don’t.”

“The rule has been set and won’t be changed. You just have to live with this.”

“B-But everyone e-else is allowed to date!” I protested.

“You aren’t everyone else.”

I sniffled. “B-Because I’m crazy.”

“No, because we want what’s best for you, and this is what we think is best.”

“No, because you think that I’m too crazy and I won’t cope and then you won’t have to deal with all of it.” I snapped.

“If that’s what you think.” He sighed. 

I sniffled and curled up away from him.

“Indigo will probably be here later too.” He stated.

“C-Can I be a-alone?” I asked quietly.

“Fine.” Brendon muttered before leaving the room. Sarah followed soon after.

I started crying, probably because I had uncovered my family’s hidden perceptions of me. I was outraged that they had the nerve to get mad at me for calling myself crazy and that’s how that talked about me when I wasn’t around. In frustration, I reached up to my hair and before I knew it, I had yanked a whole clump out.

There was then a knock at the door. “Can I come in?” A gentle voice asked.

“G-Go a-away!” I panicked.

“Please? I just want to talk.”

“W-Who is i-it?!”

“Sarah and Indigo.”

“J-Just leave m-me a-alone.” I sobbed.

I then heard the door open and the both walked in.

“Hey kiddo.” Indigo breathed.

“H-Hi….” I whispered shakily.

She looked at the clump of hair in my hand and made a pained expression.

“I-I’m sorry…” I whimpered.

She gently picked it up and put it down on the bedside table. “Let’s talk about this, okay?”

“I-I-...” I tried to say before bursting into tears.

Sarah sighed. “Was this about the dating thing?”

“E-Everyone h-hates me because I’m c-crazy y-yet you keep t-telling me I’m n-not!”

“We don’t hate you Kaitlyn.” Sarah assured. “We love you.”

“N-No you don’t.” I sobbed.

“Yes we do. Why do you think otherwise?”

“B-Because you k-keep getting m-mad at m-me.”

“We’re not mad at you. Not at all.”

“I-I’m sorry.” I cried.

“Why are you crying kiddo? Talk to me. Explain what’s going on.” Indigo said gently.

“I-I don’t know. I-I feel stupid a-and crazy and I j-just want to g-go home.”

“Why do you feel stupid?”

“Well I-I’ve missed all this s-school and then I th-thought my p-parents hated m-me even though they o-obviously didn’t.”

Sarah looked hurt. “W-Why would you think we hate you?”

“B-Because I-I’m stubborn and n-needy and a p-pain.” I sniffled

“Why do you think you’re those things?” Indigo asked.

“B-because it s-seems like everything I d-do is an inconvenience.” 

“Like?”

“When I m-make them get th-things for me, d-do things for me, t-take me places, v-visit me, w-when I tell then t-to leave…” I mumbled.

“Kaitlyn, you know we’re happy to do those things for you bub.” Sarah sighed, running a hand through my hair.

“I’m sorry…” I murmured.

“Why do you feel you’re crazy?” Indigo asked.

“Because not only do I have a million things wrong with my brain, I have a stupid habit of pulling my hair out!” I cried, defeated.

Sarah pulled me into a hug. “That doesn’t make you crazy bub.”

I took a deep breath in. “Okay…” I snuggled into her and enjoyed the warmth and comfort and overwhelming feeling of belonging, the feeling of which I needed in this moment.

She went through my hair. “Geez, you got yourself good bub.”

“Hmm?” I asked mindlessly.

I felt her touch my scalp. “You really managed to get a lot out. Doesn’t it hurt?”

“A little bit…” I lied slightly so she wouldn’t worry.

She sighed. “It’s bleeding. I’m going to get some bandages.”

“I’m sorry…” I frowned.

“Don’t be sorry.” Sarah breathed as she got up. “I know it’s not your fault.”

“Yeah it is…” I whispered to myself.

Sarah left the room and Indigo took a look at the spot on my head that was bleeding.

“You really pull hard.” She murmured.

“I know.” I whimpered. “I-It hurts…”

“How bad?”

“L-Lots.” I cried.

“Well, the good news is that you can’t see the gap.” Indigo tried to comfort.

“I-I just want the p-pain to go away r-right now.”

“We’ll get Sarah to get some painkillers, okay?”

I nodded tearfully. “Th-thank you.”

Sarah returned with a nurse, who came over and examined my head, before wrapping it in a bandage to stop the bleeding. She offered some painkillers, and I immediately accepted.

“I’m so stupid.” I cried.

“No you’re not bub. You’re really not.” Sarah assured.

“Smart people don’t d-do things l-like this.”

“But you didn’t choose to do it Kaitlyn. There’s a difference.”

I just curled up on the bed and stared blankly at the wall, not conjuring something to say.

Sarah sighed. “At least you’re okay now.”

“Still kinda hurts…” I mumbled.

“Is there any reason why you’re being a bit difficult today?” Sarah asked, frustrated.

I felt my heart plummet. “I-I don’t kn-know…” I whispered, curling up under the sheets.

Sarah sighed. “Maybe it’s just me and Pickles. I don’t know. I’ll send Brendon in.”

“Y-You probably shouldn’t. I-I’ll just annoy h-him too…”

She poked her head out the door, before sighing. “I bet he’s gone to look for more pokemon.”

“I-I want to g-go home.” I whimpered.

“I know kiddo.” Indigo sighed. “Not yet. But soon. You’ve done so well waiting it out.”

“I w-want to visit the group home too. Is that weird?”

“Why do you want to go back there bub?” Sarah asked, a little confused.

I shrugged. “Just because. It’s just something I want to do. I can’t explain it.”

“Do you want to see how much it’s changed?” Indigo suggested.

“Maybe, I don’t know. I don’t think it would’ve changed much at all.”

“I know quite a bit about what’s happened there since you’ve left actually.” Sarah murmured, sitting down.

“Care to enlighten me?”

“Ms Hungin went to jail for child neglect and the place is now being run by another woman called Janeen McKarther. And your old roommate was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and I believe she’s now receiving treatment for that.”

“Interesting.” I stated.

“So it’ll be much different when you go back. I think it’s been renovated, too.”

“Thank god. It was the dingiest, most outdated place ever.”

“It smelled funny.” Sarah giggled in agreement.

I nodded. “That’s what happens when you let 8 year olds clean.”

“What did the older kids do then?”

“Cook, sew, feed the little kids. There was one girl a bit older than me who did the electrical. I was always terrified something would happen to her.”

“Did they not get an electrician in?” Sarah asked, rather alarmed.

I shook my head. “Had no money.”

She murmured something about the government to herself. “What sort of jobs did you do?”

“Nothing interesting. Lots of dishes, lots of cooking, lots of minor repairs.”

“I see.” Sarah murmured.

“I was truly quite lucky.”

“I realised. Did anything ever happen to anyone?”

“Well…..there was an incident. Ages ago, when I first got there.”

“Yeah? What happened?”

“I….I hate thinking about it…”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“Well basically, we had these huge like water tank things and then this girl, Jamie, she was like, 16 at the time was in charge of filling the water bottle up at the start of the day. Anyway, there was this huge hurricane or something and then, well, the day after, she went to get the water and then one of the tanks sort of, like, fell off of the stand thingy it was on, and yeah….”

“God…” Sarah murmured. “That’s horrible.”

I nodded. “Yeah….that was like, my second week too. She was nice though.”

“Did she die or was she injured or what happened?” Indigo asked.

“Well she was taken to the hospital and ended up passing away…”

“Oh jeez. That’s even more terrible.” Indigo breathed.

“Yeah...That’s half the reason I hate hospitals so much.”

“Well, do you at least have any happy memories there?” Sarah asked.

I considered. “I-I had a really good friend there for about, well, 4 years.”

“What was their name?”

“Sophie. She was my age too. We were best friends for ages, and it was honestly rare to find us apart. But then her Dad got out of prison and she moved away when I was 12, and I haven’t seen her since.”

Sarah frowned slightly. “Well at least there’s one good memory.”

“We used to be such good friends though.” I smiled slightly. “She made the place bearable.”

“That’s good.”

I smiled. 

Brendon burst into the room. “Don’t be alarmed, but there is a Kabuto in here.”

“Really?” Indigo pulled her phone out.

“Yep.” He stated, fixated on his phone.

“Dammit I’m out of pokeballs!” Indigo exclaimed.

“You can reach the pokestop at the park from the toilets at the end of the hall.”

Indigo raced out of the room.

Sarah and I giggled. “This is madness. Everyone’s addicted!”

“It’s fun. You guys should get it!” Brendon exclaimed.

“I can’t imagine it’d be too fun when you have to sit around. Maybe in a few days.”

“True.” Brendon agreed.

“Oh well.” I sighed.

“You can look at mine. Here, help me name them.” He showed me a picture of a pokemon called a ‘Tangela’.

“I don’t know. It looks like a bunch of blue worms was poured on its head.”

“Come on, what’s it’s name?”

“Bloopy.”

He grinned and changed the name. “Now what about this one?”

“Buttons.”

“Good choice. Now what about my Charmander?”

“Steamy.” 

Indigo giggled. “Nice.”

“And my Lickitung?”

“Um...it looks so cute and innocent.”

“What’s it’s name though?” Brendon asked.

“Hmmm….what about the name, Ryan? Yeah! That’s cute!”

His face fell and he took a sharp breath in.

“Are you okay Bren?” Sarah asked.

“I-I need a minute.” He stammered before rushing out the door.

I frowned. “I didn’t mean to make him sad…”

“I’ll go see what’s going on. Be back soon.” Sarah said before leaving also.

*******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

I wandered down the hall, taking constant breaths and just tried to push away all thoughts, thoughts about anything and everything.

“Brendon!” I heard Sarah call. “Please slow down, I can’t run with Pickles.”

I slowed down before eventually stopping and walking to Sarah.

“Hey, is everything okay babe?” She asked, sounding quite concerned.

“Yeah, I guess.” I mumbled.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m just being stupid again. Don’t worry.”

“Just talk to me Bren.” Sarah whispered. “Please.”

“It’s not important.” I assured. “Let’s just go back.”

Sarah pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Make sure that you talk to Dr Jo about this when you go back.”

I shrugged. “I don’t think it’ll be important.”

“Well, let’s just head back then.”

I nodded and took her hand as we walked back. We walked in and Kaitlyn looked up at me with tears in her eyes. 

“I-I’m sorry D-Dad…”

“It’s fine little worm. You didn’t know.” I assured, wrapping her in a hug.

“I-I should’ve though….”

“You had no reason to even think of it. Please don’t worry. Here, give me another name for my licktung.”

“Floss.” She mumbled.

I smiled and changed it. “Thanks little worm.”

She shrugged. “It’s fine.” She murmured.

A nurse poked her head in the door. “Visiting hours are over.”

She frowned. “I guess you have to go….”

Sarah and I hugged her. “We’ll be back tomorrow little worm.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

She smiled. “Okay. I’ll be waiting.” 

We gave her a final hug before we had to leave.


	11. Chapter 10 - Food Babies

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“I JUST CAUGHT AN IVYSAUR!”

“Brendon, Kaitlyn just got home. Can you please put that thing down?”

“It’s not my fault we live across the road from a poke stop and somebody has used a lure!” I defended.

“Just turn it off and put it away. You can play after.” She stated.

Kaitlyn sat uncomfortably on the couch in silence, seemingly not knowing what to do with herself.

Jaxon crawled over to her and laid in her lap. “I’m glad you’re home.” He smiled. “I missed you lots!”

She smiled. “I missed you too Jax.”

Nicole threw her a book. “Here. I wrote a summary of what you missed.”

“W-Will the teachers g-get angry at me?” She asked quietly.

“Dude, you went through a heart transplant. That’s a pretty decent excuse. If anything, they’re going to be sympathetic.”

“I just d-don’t want to g-get in trouble…”

Nicole patted her shoulder. “You aren’t going to be in trouble.”

“O-Okay…” She stammered.

“Jax there’s a Lickitung on you!” I shrieked. “Smile and I’ll take your picture with it!”

“Brendon! Away!” Sarah said sternly.

I snapped the picture and caught the pokemon before walking to the kitchen.

“While you’re there Bren, can you get the pickles please?” Sarah called.

******* Sarah’s Point of View *******

Nicole giggled and sat down next to Kaitlyn. “Have you been kept up to date with the Pickles saga?”

“Sort of?” She answered.

“Well, Brendon wants to name the baby Pickles because Sarah keeps have pickle cravings, and if he can’t, he wants to name it something starting with P so he can nickname it Pickles.”

“I see…” She mumbled.

“It’s funny.” Nicole chuckled. “Don’t you think so Sarah?”

“Hilarious.” I stated.

“I guess you sorta had to be there….” Kaitlyn murmured quietly.

“Sarah you ate all the pickles! There’s none here!” Brendon called.

I sighed. “Well at least come back here and give us cuddles.”

He came back and tackled me in a hug. “Of course.”

“Ow. Gentle…”

He loosened up. “Better?”

I nodded. “Pickles is still being temperamental and kicking hard every like, three seconds.”

“C-Can I f-feel?” Jaxon asked.

“Course bud.” I answered. 

I sat down next to his and he put his hand on my stomach, smiling when he felt the baby kick. “Cool.”

“Do you want to Kaitlyn?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I-I don’t know…”

“It’s fun!” Jaxon encouraged.

She hesitantly walked over and placed her hand lightly on the bump.

The baby kicked and her facial expression changed immediately. “W-Woah…”

“It’s super cool, well, on your end at least.”

“And your’s too. You’re going to make an excellent big sister.”

She bit her lip. “Maybe.”

“I might get started on Dinner.” Nicole murmured, getting up from her seat.

“Do you want any help?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I’ve got it.”

“Okay. I’ll probably be here if you need me.”

“Noted.”

Ï snuggled back into the couch and cuddled with Brendon in front of the TV. He switched it to Netflix and started playing the Pokemon TV show.

“You’re obsessed Brendon.” I sighed.

“That’s not a bad thing.” He shrugged. “Beside, this is, research!”

I sighed again and got up, going to my room. I turned on the fan, grabbed a book and laid down on the bed to read in peace.

The reading was quite nice for a while, until I started to get distracted from the book by the incredible silence in the room. I couldn’t even hear Nicole cooking, or the sound of Brendon’s TV show. It was dead silent. And scary.

I opened the door all the way and turned the fan off, hoping to allow some sound in so it wasn’t so desolate.

It helped, but it was still far too quiet for my liking. I dragged my desk chair to the doorway and sat there for some improvement.

Brendon walked into the bedroom and looked at me as if I were crazy. “Why aren’t you on the nice, comfy bed?” He asked, flopping onto the mattress.

“I-It was t-too quiet there…” I murmured sheepishly.

“Well, I’m here to change that!” He smiled. “Am I too loud?” 

“I-I’m trying to r-read…”

“Sorry…” He mumbled.

“I-It’s okay….” I whispered.

He got up from the bed and grabbed his laptop before heading back out to the lounge room.

I tried to resume reading my book but the guilt for making Brendon want to leave was eating away at me, so I put my book down and walked out to the kitchen.

“Hey Mom.” Nicole stated, not looking away from the pan. “I’m almost done.”

“I-It’s just me.” I sighed as I sat down at the bench.

“What’s up?” She asked, putting the spoon down and sitting beside me.

“I-I made Brendon l-leave me and I f-felt bad about it.” I murmured.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. He’s working in the studio if you want to see him. Apparently he got an idea.”

I sighed. “I better not disturb him then.”

After saying that, Brendon walked inside, straight past the kitchen and sat at the piano, not talking or greeting anyone on his way.

“Hey Dad!” Nicole greeted. “Dinner’s almost ready!”

“Alright….” He murmured. “I’ll be there once I‘ve finished.”

“Well don’t take too long then. We don’t want your dinner getting cold!” She stated, stirring the pot.

He shrugged and started playing around on the piano, playing and singing random songs. 

“Dinner’s ready!” Nicole called.

I brought Jaxon in and Brendon had started playing more somber and weeping-like songs.

“Bren, dinner.” I said, getting a tad annoyed. “Come on.”

“Later, I promise.” He vowed.

“No Bren, now.”

“I said, later.” He growled.

I pulled Nicole over and pinched her cheeks. “Your daughter has just spent hours making dinner for you, and you’re going to ignore all her effort?”

“You’re hurting me…” Nicole murmured.

“Look, I’m sorry Nicole, I’m just busy.” He mumbled.

“It’s fine.” She murmured, sneaking away from me.

I sighed and wandered back to the kitchen where Kaitlyn and Jaxon were sitting silently.

“Just eat guys, he’s not coming.” I sighed as I sat down.

“W-Why not?” Kaitlyn asked quietly.

I sighed. “I don’t even know bub. Don’t worry about it. Just eat.”

She frowned and took a small bite. She went to put her fork down, but after a stern look, she held it in her hands and played with it rather than eating.

“Come on bub, please. Your Grandma and Grandpa are getting here tomorrow and I won’t be able to make sure you’re eating as much. So please, eat a bit now and in the next few days I’ll lay off you.”

She bit her lip and took a deep breath before continuing eating and finishing her bowl almost.

“Thanks bub.” I smiled.

“I-It’s okay….” She mumbled.

I fed Jaxon before eating my own food. Nicole cleared the table once we’d all finished and I walked back out to check on Brendon.

“What do you want?” He mumbled, not turning around.

“I want to know why you weren’t at dinner?”

“I wasn’t in the mood. I didn’t want to get mad at anyone.”

“Still Bren, dinner is family time.”

“I’m sorry.” He murmured.

“Come on, come eat now.”

He shook his head. “I’ll eat something later.”

I just sighed. “Fine.”

“Please don’t be mad at me…” He whispered.

I left him and ignored his cries for me to return. I collapsed on Kaitlyn’s bed with a groan.

She came out of her art studio and sat beside me. “What’s up?”

“Your father annoys me sometimes.” I groaned.

“Why? What’s he doing?”

“Annoying me.”

“How? He seemed pretty relaxed before.”

“It just annoys me because dinnertime is family time, and even when he’s not eating he should at least be sitting with us so we can make conversation. He comes across a bit selfish sometimes.”

“He’s stressed. About lots of stuff. The baby, his family coming, his music. He was telling me about it.”

“Still.” I murmured.

“You can see him as selfish if you want, I suppose. I can’t change that.”

I changed the subject. “What are you working on bub?”

“I don’t know. A random painting. I really should be doing my project for school, but whatever.”

“Can I see?”

“If you really want…” She mumbled. “It’s not great.”

“Shh. I bet it’s great.” I smiled.

“You’re going to have to come in, if you can. The canvas is still wet.”

I hauled myself up off the bed and walked in. The walls were practically wallpapered in sketches and paintings, as well as printed pictures of some famous art pieces.

She quickly fixed a mistake she found before showing me the canvas.

“Wow bub.” I breathed. “It’s beautiful.”

“Thanks.” She smiled slightly. “I wanted to hang it up somewhere but I’m running out of room.”

“We could probably put this in the lounge actually.” I smiled.

She shrugged. “If you think it’s good enough to display.”

I rubbed her shoulder. “I think it’s beautiful.”

“Thanks.” She beamed.

“What else have you been working on?” I asked, looking around.

“I’ve been working on realistic anatomy. That’s hard. I’ve almost filled up my sketchbook just experimenting.”

“I see.” I murmured, having no idea what she had just said.

She handed me a sketchbook. “All the back of that is just working on facial structure. I haven’t decided whether or not I’m wasting my time or not. Oh well.” She shrugged.

I flicked through it. “Kaitlyn, this is amazing.”

She smiled. “Thanks. It’s just a fun way to pass time at the moment.”

“It’s amazing bub. I don’t understand how you’re so talented.”

“I don’t either, really. It just sort of came naturally.”

I ruffled her hair. “Are you excited for tomorrow?”

“I guess so. Slightly nervous, but there’s not much I can do about that.”

“I suppose.” I nodded.

“What about you?” She asked.

“I’m very excited.” I smiled. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen Bren’s Parents.”

“That’s good.”

“Do you want some ice cream?” I offered.

She shrugged. “Maybe?”

I led her out to the kitchen and made all the kids a scoop of ice cream.

“Thanks…” Kaitlyn murmured, taking the bowl. “Still cold…”

“Well, it is ice cream.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Is it good?” I asked.

She nodded. “It’s fine.”

I smiled and sat down next to her. “Good to be home?”

She nodded. “Better than being confined. Still trying to get used to it though.”

I nodded in understanding. “It shouldn’t take too long.”

“Hopefully not. It’ll be weird having a bunch of people I haven’t met before around though.”

“Grace and Boyd are lovely. I promise you’ll like them.”

“I’m sure I will. I’m just afraid I’ll do something stupid like forget my medication again or something.”

“I’ll make sure you take it.” I assured.

“Thanks…”

“No problems bub.”

“Why is medication the only thing that can really help me?”

“I don’t know, I’m afraid.” I sighed, not wanting to go into the conversation.

“I’m sorry, what do you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know bub. You choose.”

“Well you just didn’t seem to like my topic of conversation, so I thought you could take charge…”

“Um… well, let’s talk about art then. What’s your favourite piece?”

She shrugged. “Too hard to choose.”

“Fair enough.”

“What about you?”

“I like the ones you do.” I smiled, gently bumping her shoulder with my own.

She blushed. “Thanks.”

“Is there any reason why you’re being quiet?” I asked eventually.

“I’m still just a bit anxious thinking about meeting Brendon’s parents.” She whispered.

“Why’s that bub?” I asked.

“I’m just scared they won’t like me.”

“I’m sure they will bub. They’re so excited to meet you.”

“What, why?”

“Because they’re Bren’s parents, and they want to meet their grandchildren. Honestly, I think Grace is going to explode if we keep her away from you and Nick and Jax much longer. Plus, they knew your biological father when he was growing up. I think that’s why they’re so excited to see you.”

“I think that makes it worse….”

“Why’s that?” I asked.

“Because that means they have expectations…’

“Oh shh. They don’t have any expectations. Plus, I know they’re going to love you.”

“I-I don’t know about th-that…” She whimpered.

I put an arm around her. “Of course they are bub.”

“W-When are they g-getting here?”

“Tomorrow. Their plane gets in in the morning, but they’re coming over for lunch.”

“D-don’t I have t-t-therapy tomorrow?”

“Well yeah. When we go Bren is going to have some one on one time with his parents. Nicole’s already agreed to take Jax out.”

“O-Oh, okay…” she murmured.

“I think we’ve organised everything…”

She nodded blankly.

“You don’t have anything to worry about. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

She nodded unsurely. “O-Okay…”

“Well, what do you want to do?”

She shrugged. “Y-You choose.”

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Okay…” She murmured, getting up from her seat.

We snuggled up in the lounge room and were soon joined by Jaxon and Nicole. We all got comfy and I turned on a movie for us all to watch.

*******Brendon’s Point Of View******

“Our flight has landed Brenny Boo!” Mom squealed through the phone.

“So there wasn’t any issues?” 

“Not at all. The flight was lovely. And now we’ve landed and we’re waiting for our luggage.”

“That’s good to hear.” I affirmed.

“Yeah. And Boyd’s getting the rental car, and we’ll check in at the hotel and steal all their little shampoos before we come to see you and the munchkins!”

I chuckled slightly. “Sounds good Mom.”

“It’s great Brenny Bren. Oops, I have to go. Luggage is here! Bye Brenny!”

“Bye!”

The call ended and I walked back into the kitchen where the kids were eating breakfast.

“Everything all good?” Nicole asked.

I nodded. “Yep. They’ve landed and they’re going to check in at the hotel before coming for lunch.”

She smiled. “I can’t wait to meet them.”

“They can’t wait to meet you.” I smiled back.

Sarah had disappeared to do some last minute cleaning, giving me the delight of making sure everyone ate.

Kaitlyn had pushed her bowl away, having eaten almost nothing.

“Come on little worm, you know you have to eat more than that.”

She shook her head. “I-I can’t.”

“Please, you need to eat Kaitlyn. We don’t want anymore problems.” I sighed. “I don’t want you back in hospital.”

She shook her head. “N-No.”

“Kaitlyn please, I’m really not in the mood to argue with you.”

“Th-Then don’t.” She stated finally, getting up from her seat.

“No, sit down. You aren’t leaving until you’ve eaten a decent amount.”

She ran out of the room before I even had a chance to react.

“God dammit.” I groaned, getting up to find her. I walked into her room and checked for her in there. “I’m getting real sick of this Kaitlyn. Just come out and eat.”

I heard some rustling coming from under the bed and I bent down until I could see her hiding there.

“Come out Kaitlyn. Now.”

“N-No…” She whimpered.

“It wasn’t a choice.” I said firmly.

“I d-don’t c-care…”

“I do. Now come out. Your punishment will only get worse the longer you wait.”

“P-Punishment?” She quivered nervously.

“Get out here now.”

She nervously squirmed out from under the bed and looked at her feet instead of facing me.

“Come on, let’s go.” I stated. “We’re not wasting anymore time.”

She sniffled but followed me out to the kitchen.

“Now eat. You're not allowed back in your room until bed time.”

She curled up slightly. “I-I don’t t-t-think I can D-Dad…”

“You need to eat something.”

“I-I did…”

“You barely ate anything, and that’s not good enough. You’re going to stay here until you eat an acceptable amount.”

She bit her lip and ate the tiniest spoonful. “T-There.”

“More Kaitlyn. You need to do this yourself.”

She sniffled. “W-Why?”

“Because us spoon feeding you isn’t working. You need to help yourself. You need to take care of yourself.”

She sniffled. “W-Why can’t I just d-do it Dad? W-Why am I s-so crazy t-that I n-need people to h-hover over me t-t-to make sure that I’m d-doing the basic h-human life n-nessessity of e-eating?!”

“I don’t know little worm. You’ll get to a point where we don’t need to watch you. You just need to try really hard for us, okay?”

“W-What’s the point?” She asked rhetorically. “I-I can’t even take care of m-myself. I w-won’t ever be a-allowed to l-live on my o-own.”

“You will, I promise. It might take awhile, but you will. You can’t just give up.”

She sighed and put her head on the table.

“Please little worm, just eat. I don’t want you back in hospital. It’s really scary.”

“O-One meal doesn’t m-matter…”

“If I let you get away with one, you’ll get used to not eating and you’ll miss many more.” I explained.

“B-But I ate lots last night?” She attempted.

“Please little worm, just eat. I don’t want to discuss this any longer.”

She tried to force herself to eat another spoonful, but she couldn’t bring herself to eat it.

“Please Kaitlyn, I won’t make you eat too much, I promise.”

“B-But I c-can’t!” She cried.

“Kaitlyn, you need to eat. It’s not healthy.”

She folded her arms. “I-I can’t D-Dad. I’m s-sorry, but I can’t.”

“Why can’t you?”

“B-Because I have a f-freaking eating d-disorder!” She exclaimed.

“And you’re never going to get better if you don’t try!”

“I d-d-did.”

“Well if you don’t want to get better I’ll just stop trying.” I sighed, walking away.

I heard Kaitlyn crying in the other room, so I walked into the bedroom to find Sarah.

“What’s up Bren?” She asked.

“Kaitlyn.” I groaned. “I can’t get her to eat and then I got mad and now she’s crying and it’s all my fault but I can’t fix it.”

“And you want me to go out and talk to her.” Sarah finished.

I nodded. “Yep.”

She sighed. “Fine...you gotta go get groceries now to make up for this.”

“But my parents are coming over!” I defended. 

“Then I suggest you get going now.”

I huffed and grabbed my wallet and keys before heading out.

******Sarah’s Point Of View******

I walked out to the kitchen and Kaitlyn was sitting there, crying.

“What’s up bub? Is Bren being mean?”

“I-I can’t e-eat and h-he’s trying to m-make me when I c-cant!” She sobbed.

“Well you need to eat something. What about ice cream? Will you eat that?”

She shook her head. “I-I can’t!”

“You just need to eat a little bit of something. I know it’s hard but I want you to get better.”

“W-When I g-get really s-scared Mom… I-I get b-bad a-again. T-The eating, t-the thoughts, t-the voices, i-it all g-get’s really b-bad when I-I’m s-scared.”

“Are you scared right now?”

She nodded.

“Why are you scared bub?” I asked, trying to be gentle.

“B-Because B-Brendon’s p-parents are c-coming…

“How can I help make it a little bit less scary?”

“B-By not m-making me e-eat right now…”

“You have to eat bub. It’s the only way you’ll get better.”

“I-I’m s-s-sorry Mom, b-but I c-can’t eat right now.”

“Then when will you eat?”

“M-Maybe later t-tonight? D-Dinner and Lunch w-when e-everything’s l-less scary?”

“Alright, but you have to eat then. I’ll be making sure.”

She hugged me tightly. “T-Thank you.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” I assured, holding her close.

Brendon walked in with the groceries. “Did you get her to eat Sarah?”

I sighed. “She hasn’t eaten yet. She said she would later.”

He turned to Kaitlyn. “No, you need to eat now little worm.”

“P-Please, I c-can’t!” She cried.

I gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “She’ll eat later Bren. Just lay off her this one time.”

“P-Please?” She pleaded, looking up at him.

He groaned. “Fine.”

“Th-thank you.” She sniffled.

“Mom and Dad should be here in about an hour.”

Kaitlyn got noticeably more nervous.

“It’ll be okay bub.” I assured.

“I-I don’t know. C-Can I j-just hide away?”

“Nope. They want to meet you.”

“B-But I’m scared!” She whimpered. “I d-don’t want to mess up!”

I put an arm around her. “You won’t mess up bub. You’re going to be amazing, just like you always are.”

“A-Are you sure?”

I smiled. “Of course I’m sure.”

She wrapped her arms around me and snuggled into me. “I’ll try my best.”

Just as she said that, the doorbell rang.

Kaitlyn immediately froze and held me tighter, hiding her face.

“I-I changed my m-mind. I-I can’t d-do this!”

“Yes you can.” Brendon assured. “Of course you can! We know you can do it Kaitlyn.”

She shook her head. “I-I can’t!” She stammered as she started shaking.

I got up. “I’ll just go get them. Bren, be gentle on her please.”

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“I-I’m sorry D-Dad. I c-can’t do this.” She whispered shakily.

I took her hand. “Come on Kait, I know you can do this. You’re brave little worm, and I really need you to channel that bravery right now.”

She squeezed my hand, hard, and followed me quietly.

“Brenny boo!” Mom squealed, tackling me in a hug.

“It’s so good to see you again.” I smiled.

She cupped my face in her hands. “Ah! It’s been so long! You get more handsome every time I see you!”

I chuckled awkwardly. “I don’t know about that…”

She turned to Kaitlyn and gasped. “And you must be Damien and Lydia’s little girl! Oh my! Look at you!”

“Y-Yeah….” She murmured nervously.

“You’re beautiful! Gosh, you look just like your father. Doesn’t she look like Damien, Boyd?”

Dad nodded. “She definitely does.”

“Well, I’m your Grandma, Grace, and this big guy here is your Grandad, Boyd. It’s so nice to meet you finally!”

“Uh, y-yeah. Um...h-hi?” She mumbled, still obviously scared.

Mom turned to Sarah. “Where are the other munchkins?”

“I believe they’re in the rooms. I’ll go get them.”

While Sarah went to get Nicole and Jax, Mom hugged me again. “Gosh I’ve missed you Brenny Boo.”

“I’ve missed you too. Sorry for not visiting.”

“No, No, it’s fine Brenny Bren. I know you’ve been busy with the Munchkins and Sarah and yourself of course. It’s just so good to see you.”

“Have you had any issues so far?” I asked.

She shook her head. “It’s been amazing.”

“That’s good to hear.” I smiled.

Sarah came back out with Nicole carrying Jaxon.

“Hey.” Nicole grinned. 

Mom squealed and wrapped her in a hug. “Hi!”

“It’s good to finally meet you.” She stated, handing Jaxon to Kaitlyn.

“So you’re, Nicole, right?” Dad asked.

She nodded. “Yep. And that’s Jax.” She introduced.

Grace squealed and took him off Kaitlyn. “You are the cutest thing I’ve seen all week.”

He smiled and wrapped her in a hug.

“W-Wait till you s-see the p-puppies…” Kaitlyn murmured, trying to add to the conversation.

Mom smiled. “I can’t wait.”

“They’re outside. Want to go and sit outside to talk? It’s nice and sunny today.” I suggested.

She nodded. “Sounds great.”

“D-Do you w-want a drink or a-anything?” Kaitlyn asked.

Mom smiled at her. “No thanks sweetie. Come outside with us? Boyd, grab the gifts from the car.”

Dad grunted and walked outside.

Kaitlyn disappeared into another room anyway as we walked outside.

I chased after her. “Come on little worm. Come outside and talk with us.”

“Y-You just g-go…” She whispered.

I took her hand. “Come on little worm.”

She shook her head. “P-Please l-let me stay.” She pleaded.

In the end, I practically dragged her outside, where everyone else was already sitting down. Mom had Ollie on her lap, and Dad was throwing the ball to Opal.

Kaitlyn was sniffling the entire way and ended up sitting by herself against the wall, curled up in a ball.

Dad tapped my shoulder. “Uh, is she alright?”

“I honestly don’t know. I hope so.” I murmured.

“Brendon, you have a beautiful family.” Mom complimented.

I smiled. “Thanks.”

“Are you excited about the baby kids?” She asked Nicole and Jaxon. And Kaitlyn too, but she wasn’t really paying attention.

“Yeah!” Jaxon enthused. Nicole nodded.

“Brendon?”

I nodded. “I’m super excited.”

“Brendon, your dog is biting me.” Dad stated, looking down at Opal, who was indeed chewing on his shoes.

“Opal, no.” I scolded, pulling her away.

She ran to Kaitlyn and started chewing on her shoes instead.

I thought Kaitlyn hadn’t noticed and I was about to pull her away when Kaitlyn reached out and started patting her.

I smiled slightly and leaned back in my chair, deciding not to intervene.

“So what have you been up to Brendon?” Dad asked.

“Not much.” I shrugged. “Just the usual. Making music.”

He nodded. “Productive as usual it seems.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Kaitlyn picked Opal up and walked back inside silently.

“I should probably go see what’s up.” Sarah murmured, getting up.

I nodded. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

She nodded before she walked inside to find Kaitlyn.

“What’s up with her?” Dad asked.

“I told you Boyd.” Mom snapped, a little annoyed.

“It just seemed random.” He shrugged. “I just want to know why right now.”

“She was really freaked out about meeting you guys.” I explained. “When you got here she started freaking out, and I think she just needs some time to cool down.”

He nodded in understanding. “I guess that makes sense.”

“We’re not that scary though!” Mom defended.

“Kaitlyn just gets overwhelmed. It’s not that you’re scary at all. She was just building it all up in her head.” I tried to explain.

“Poor dear.” Mom murmured.

I nodded. “It’s all very messy and hard to get your head around.”

“I see.” Dad nodded.

Sarah came back out and sat down as if nothing had happened at all.

“How is she?” Mom asked.

“Asleep.” She sighed.

“With the dog?’

She nodded. “Opal’s fallen asleep beside her.”

“Cute.” Nicole giggled.

Sarah shrugged. “I guess.”

“Will she be up for lunch?” Mom asked.

“I honestly don’t know. At this moment, I’d say no.”

“That’s disappointing…” She murmured.

“It is, I apologise.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. It’s okay.”

She sighed. “Anyway, what’d I miss?”

“Not much.” Dad shrugged.

“What have you guys been doing?” She asked.

“Not much. Oh, Brenny, forgot to tell you. Your siblings fly in tomorrow. I told them we’d all meet here for dinner.”

I smiled. “That’s great! It’ll be good to have everyone around.”

“How many siblings do you have Dad?” Jaxon asked.

“4.” I answered.

“Wow!”

I smiled. “You’re going to have three when Pickles gets here.”

He grinned. “Cool.”

Mom looked appalled. “Pickles?!”

I chuckled. “We don’t have a name yet. It’s just a nickname. Sarah won’t let me call it Pickles.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness.”

“It’d be a great name!” I defended.

“Brendon, it’s  _ pickles. _ ” Dad said sternly.

“And?” I shrugged.

“You can’t name a baby Pickles!”

“Damien almost named Kaitlyn Sushi!” I tried to rebut.

“But he didn’t.” Mom stated.

“I’m sure that would’ve been his nickname for her…” I mumbled.

“I’m not sure if Kaitlyn would have appreciated being called Sushi. Same with this baby and Pickles.”

“I’m sure she would’ve.” I murmured.

“I doubt it.” Nicole giggled.

“I wonder what she’d think if I randomly started calling her that…”

“Don’t you dare Brendon!” Mom warned with a little smile that she was trying to hide.

“It’d be fun!” I grinned.

She shook her head. “Still the same Brendon.”

“Party pooper.” I murmured,

She poked her tongue out at me. “Who wants presents?”

“Presents?” Jaxon’s eyes lit up.

Mom grinned. “Yup, just for you Cutie.”

“Yay!” He grinned.

Mom got up and returned with a suitcase. “Okay, so this one is for Brenny boo.”

I smiled slightly. “Thanks.”

I tore off the paper and smiled. “Pyjamas. Thanks Mom.”

She smiled. “For Jaxon!”

His face lit up as he held his hands out for it.

He ripped it open and flung the paper away, revealing a huge, fluffy teddy bear, in which he immediately snuggled with.

“Thank you!” He squealed happily.

“And for Nicole.” She stated, handing Nicole a wrapped gift.

She smiled. “Thank you Mrs Urie.”

“Where shall I leave Kaitlyn’s?”

I took it. “We’ll just leave it here until she wakes up.”

She nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

“Thank you for the gift.” Nicole smiled.

“It’s my pleasure.” Mom assured. “And call me Grandma.”

Jaxon giggled.

“Oh, okay…” Nicole stated. 

“I might get started on lunch.” Sarah murmured as she stood up.

“Would you like some help?” Nicole offered.

“Oh, yes please.”

Nicole smiled and got up out of her seat and wandered into the kitchen. She handed me Jaxon as she got up.

“What are we having for lunch?” Dad asked.

I shrugged. “Could be anything.”

Mom grinned. “I like surprises.”

“That’s good.” I smiled. “There tends to be quite a few of those.”

“Uh huh.” Jaxon agreed.

“Do you like surprises Jax?” I asked.

“Sometimes.”

“Why only sometimes?” I asked. 

“Sometimes there are bad surprises, like when Kaity had to go into hos-tible.”

I nodded in understanding. “I don’t like bad surprises either.”

He nodded. “This bear was a nice surprise though.”

Mom smiled. “I’m glad you like it.”

He hugged it. “I love it.”

Kaitlyn trudged outside with her head down. “S-Sorry for leaving…”

“It’s okay Sushi. Come sit down.” I smiled.

She giggled. “Sushi?”

“Yep. Thats your new name. Come sit down.”

She smiled and sat down beside me.

“How are you?” Mom asked.

“I’m better now.” She stated. “How are you?”

She smiled. “All the better for seeing you.”

Kaitlyn blushed slightly. “Th-that’s good.”

“We have a present for you!” Mom smiled.

“Oh...y-you shouldn’t have g-gotten me a-anything…”

“Shh. This is a late Christmas gift. Here, go on, open it!”

Kaitlyn hesitantly took the gift and unwrapped it slowly, still seemingly unsure.

The corners of her lips turned upwards as she opened a new sketchbook and a new set of markers. “T-Thanks guys…”

“It’s no problem!” Mom assured.

“Look at what I got Kaity!” Jaxon giggled.

Kaitlyn smiled slightly. “That’s awesome Jax.”

“It’s so cool!” He grinned.

“So w-what are you g-guys doing?”

“Just talking.” I shrugged.

“W-What about?” She asked.

“Pickles.” I explained.

“Oh...right.”

“Do you have any baby name ideas Kaitlyn?” Mom asked.

She shook her head. “Not really.”

“I like Pickles.” I smiled.

Kaitlyn giggled. “I like Pickles too.”

Mom shook her head in disbelief. “You guys seriously want to name the baby pickles?”

We nodded. “Of course.”

“Sarah!” Mom called. “Don’t let Brendon name the baby!”

I heard her laugh. “I figured that out on my own.”

“I think we should name it Banana.” Jaxon stated.

I chuckled. “Maybe we should.”

“Nope!” Sarah called from the kitchen.

I sighed. “If you say so.”

“Just give it a normal name!” Dad exclaimed.

“What is a normal name?” Kaitlyn asked.

“A name that isn’t food.”

“Food names can be good names. Like parmigiana.” She stated.

“Nope. You can’t name the baby parmigiana.”

Kaitlyn frowned. “This is why I don’t give suggestions.”

I patted her shoulder. “You didn’t do anything little Sushi. These people are the ones with the wrong idea. I think Parmigiana is a great name. Lasagne is good too.”

She shrugged glumly. “I’ll be inside.”

“Don’t leave sweetheart!” Mom pleaded. “Stay here and talk to us.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to annoy you any longer. Have fun.” She murmured.

Mom sighed once she’d left. “I wish I hadn’t opposed her. Then she’d still be here.”

“It’s fine. It’s not like we knew what would’ve happened.” I assured.

“Surprises.” Jaxon noted.

I nodded. “It was a surprise indeed.”

“Is lunch nearly ready?” He asked.

“I don’t know. We’ll have to ask Mommy.”

“Can you take me inside to go and sit with them?”

“Of course.” I stated, lifting him up. “Let’s go.”

I carried Jaxon into the kitchen and sat him on the bench near Nicole. He seems pretty content where he was so I left to go talk to Kaitlyn was I was inside.

I walked into her room and found her curled up under her bed sheets.

“What’s up little Sushi?” I asked, sitting beside her.

“I-I’m sorry f-for m-messing up.” She whimpered.

“Huh? You didn’t mess up at all little Sushi.”

“I-I made a b-big deal of n-nothing.”

“It’s okay. We’ve all forgotten now anyway.”

“This i-is why I w-was scared! I knew I-I’d do s-something stupid!” She cried.

I pulled her into a hug. “You haven’t done anything stupid Sushi. You’re okay. I promise.”

“Y-You should g-go back to y-your parents.” She sniffled.

I took her hand. “You should come with me.”

She frantically shook her head. “I-I should j-just stay.”

“Well, then I might stay too.”

“N-No, th-they’re your p-parents! Y-You’ve been o-organising this f-for ages!”

“But you’re my daughter and you’re upset so I’m going to stay with you.”

“I-If I’m upset for a stupid r-reason like this you shouldn’t c-care.” She whispered.

“I care about when you’re upset. It doesn’t matter the reason.” I explained, stretching out on the bed.

She snuggled up beside me, wrapped in blankets. “Th-thanks for b-being here Dad.”

I smiled. “No problem Sushi.”

“W-What’s with the n-name anyway?”

“I was talking to your grandma about pickles and it reminded me of the time that your Dad wanted to name you Sushi.” I explained.

“Strange coincidence.” She observed.

I chuckled. “Yep.”

“Sushi is a cool name.” 

I smiled. “That’s what I was trying to explain to my Mom.”

She giggled. “She’ll never understand.”

“No, she won’t. But that’s okay. Because we understand.”

“Can I show you something?”

“Sure.” I responded.

She disappeared into her art room, still wrapped in blankets and was mucking around in there for a while before coming out. She handed me her sketchbook and the first thing I noticed was a bright pink sticky note covering the image.

“I found a picture online of when you were younger with all our bandmates, so I tried to copy it. You were so cute!”

I smiled slightly. “Thanks Sushi.”

“See, there you, then there’s Spencer, see, I’ve been studying, and then there’s Jon.” She stated, not addressing the sticky note, though I felt I knew of its purpose.

“This is cool Sushi. Thanks.” I smiled, ruffling her hair.”

She beamed. “I’m glad you think so!”

I closed the sketchbook and handed it back to her. “What else have you been drawing?”

“Not a lot, truthfully. I’ve been trying to paint, but it hasn’t been going great…”

“Can I see?”

She sighed. “Sure. I hate it though, I don’t expect anything different from you.”

I sat up. “I’m sure it’s awesome Sushi.”

She brought a large canvas out of the studio. “I was trying to paint some sort of sunset but it just looks weird. Oh well, good practise.”

I smiled. “This is awesome Sushi! I don’t know how you don’t love this!”

“It’s easy. The only hard thing is trying to force yourself to love it.” She murmured.

I pulled her into a hug. “Let’s say someone else painted this. Now, what do you like about this artwork?”

She shrugged. “It’s alright, I guess.”

“What are your favourite things?”

“The trees, I suppose. The shading.”

I smiled. “Those are my favourite bits too. That and the colours of the sun.”

She smiled slightly. “I guess it is pretty cool….”

I grinned. “It really is.”

She snuggled up against me once again and rested her head on my chest. “You’re warm.”

I smiled. “So are you.”

“Shall we go out now?” She proposed.

I smiled. “Sure.”

We got up and she took my hand as we walked back out. 

“Sorry about leaving before.” She apologised. “I’m happy to stay now if you’ll take me.”

I took her hand. “Let’s go Sushi.”

She ended up sitting down beside me and still was quiet, but she tried to join the conversation.

“So how is school going sweetie?” Mom asked her.

“I-it’s uh, okay, yeah…”

I smiled. “She’s doing really well.”

Kaitlyn blushed slightly. “I-I don’t know about that…: 

“You get A’s Sushi. You can’t call that not doing well.”

She shrugged. “I’ve just missed a tonne. Hopefully I can catch up though.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to.” I assured.

She nodded and sipped a glass of water. “Anyway, let’s talk about something else.”

“How’s the music going Brenny Boo?”

I shrugged. “I guess it’s going well. I think I’m going to make an album. I’ve got a fair few songs now to do it.”

Mom smiled. “That sounds amazing Brenny.”

“It is pretty cool. Hopefully it all goes well.”

“I’m sure it will Brenny.”

Nicole came and started bringing out some food on trays. She placed them on the table before heading back into the kitchen to get more.

“This is really a feast!” Dad grinned, grabbing a plate.

I nodded. “They’ve truly overworked themselves.”

Sarah and Nicole brought the last of the food out, and I went and got Jaxon. Dad was already eating.

Nicole sat and feed Jaxon a bit before actually eating anything and well, Kcvaitlyn barely ate anything at all. She’d eaten a little bit, but nothing substantial.

“This is amazing.” Mom complimented to break the silence.

Nicole grinned. “I’m glad you think so!”

“It’s good!” Dad said through a mouthful of food.

Mom elbowed him. “Boyd! Chew and swallow before talking! How many times do we have to go over this?”

He gave everyone at the table a grin before continuing to eat.

“I’m full.” Kaitlyn whispered.

“Just a little more bub.” Sarah tried to encourage. “You promised me that you’d eat.”

Kaitlyn sighed and ate a little bit more, hoping to appease Sarah.

Mom and Dad were mostly silent, after all, mealtimes in the Urie household were always a little bit of a battle. Between Kaitlyn and Jaxon, there was never a dull moment.

Kaitlyn silently sat and mashed all her food together, making some kind of disgusting blend.

“You have to eat that Kaitlyn, so I advise you stop.” I warned.

She frowned. “I-I’m sorry…”

“You still have to eat it.”

“I-I can’t….”

“Please bub.” Sarah whispered. “You promised.”

Kaitlyn sniffled. “I-I thought I w-would be able to b-but I can’t.”

“Come on bub, please. Just a bit more.”

“I-I can’t!” She whimpered.

Mom and Dad just sat in awkward silence.

Kaitlyn took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can eat any more.”

Sarah sighed. “Dinner, you hear me?”

“I-I’ll try?”

She sighed and just finished off her own food.

The silence continued until well after the meal was over. Nicole took all the plates out to the kitchen.

“I-I’m s-sorry…” Kaitlyn murmured.

“Don’t worry about it.” Sarah sighed.

She got up and left the table without another word.

“Well that was…..interesting….” Mom stated.

“Mealtimes in the Urie household are always interesting.” I sighed.

“I can imagine.” She murmured.

“We should probably head back to the hotel…” Dad said slowly as he got up from the table.

“Stay safe, okay?” I stated, wrapping him in a hug.

He nodded. “Of course Brendon. We’ll see you tomorrow. All your siblings are getting here around 5.”

“Sounds good.” I smiled.

Mom and Dad grabbed their things and said their final goodbyes before leaving to head back to the hotel.

Sarah sighed once more and wrapped me in a hug from behind. 

“That was a disaster.” I mumbled.

She nodded. “There’s not much we can do about it now though.”

“Well, at least they’ve seen first hand what happens with the Urie kids.”

“I just wish their first impressions were better.”

“Me too.” I breathed.

“Well there’s no point worrying now.” She sighed. “Let’s go sit down.”

I walked into the kitchen. “Coffee?”

“Yeah, sure.” She answered, sitting down in the lounge room.

I quickly made the drinks before sitting down next to her. “At least there were  _ some  _ good moments.”

She nodded. “I guess so.”

There was a moment of awkward silence between us.

“Shall we just watch a movie?” She proposed.

“Sounds good.” I murmured.

She put on some superhero movie and we snuggled up on the couch.

Nicole came out and joined us. “I didn’t think that meeting went too well…”

I sighed. “Not really.”

“At least we’ve got tomorrow to make up for it.”

I nodded. “We’ll talk more about how to act and such at dinner.”

“Did I do an okay job?” Nicole asked nervously.

I nodded again. “You were fine.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

“You shouldn’t be worrying anyway.” I stated. “It’s more my problem than yours.”

“Well, I want them to like me. So therefore, I worry.”

“I don’t think there’s anything you could’ve done to make them not like you. They’re way too kind.”

She giggled and turned her attention back to the movie.

I honestly expected Sarah to join the conversation, but it turns out she’d fallen asleep on me, making it near impossible to move.

“Dammit.” I murmured.

Nicole giggled. “You seem to have a bit of a problem. Be glad the dogs aren’t on top of you too.”

“Don’t you dare call them!”

“Ollie! Opal!”

The dogs then curled up on top of me too.

I sighed. “Thanks.” I murmured.

Nicole giggled. “No problem.”

“If they don’t move soon I’m going to fall asleep too.” I mumbled.

“You can do that Dad.” Nicole shrugged. “But Kaitlyn has therapy soon, so, make sure you’re up for that.”

“Opal, Ollie, down.” I instructed. The puppies leapt off the couch before jumping up beside Nicole and snuggling with her. I squirmed out from under Sarah before picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom. 

“Bren?” She murmured, still half asleep.

“What’s up?” I asked, sitting down beside her.

“Did I fall asleep?”

I nodded. “Yep. And then Nicole called the dogs over so they started laying on me too.”

She sat up. “I have to get up.”

“If it’s for Kaitlyn, I was going to go.”

“No, no, I have to take her.” She murmured, standing up. “Indigo wanted to speak to me about something.”

“Oh, okay.” I stated.

She kissed my cheek. “Thanks for being thoughtful though.”

“Is there anything you want me to do while you’re out?”

She shook her head. “I’d say make dinner, but Nicole will probably do that.”

“I’ll find something.” I assured. “I’ll go make sure Kaitlyn’s ready.”

She smiled and disappeared into the closet to get changed.

I walked to Kaitlyn’s room and knocked on the door. “Can I come in?”

“G-Go a-away.”

“What’s up Sushi?” I asked, gripping the door handle.

“J-Just l-leave me a-alone.”

I opened the door and found her lying on the bed, face down. “Talk to me Kaitlyn. You’ve got me worried.”

She buried her face under a pillow without a response.

“Please Kaitlyn, what’s wrong?”

“J-Just leave.”

“You have to go to therapy anyway Sushi. Your Mom will be waiting.”

She shook her head. “I’m not going.”

I sighed. “You have to Kaitlyn.”

She shook her head. “No.”

“It’s not a choice. You need to go to therapy.” 

She got up, pushed me firmly out of the door and slammed the door in my face.

I sighed and found Sarah in the lounge room. “She’s being difficult.”

“How so?” She asked.

“She’s refusing to talk and come out and she basically shoved me out of her room.”

Sarah stood up. “I’ll try.”

“Good luck.” I murmured.

She left the room, leaving me with Nicole and Jaxon.

I flopped onto the couch and flicked through TV channels, hoping to find something interesting,

“I was watching that…” Jaxon murmured.

“Sorry bud.” I flicked it back to the channel it was on.

“Actually you can change it. I think I’ve seen this one.”

I handed the remote to Nicole. “You drive. I’ve got work I can be doing.”

She smiled. “Okay.”

“G-Give that back Mom!”

I turned to see Sarah walking out with Kaitlyn’s blanket, while she trailed behind, swatting to get it back.

I sighed, the whole scene frustrating me. Sarah managed to get Kaitlyn into car, and raced in to hand me the blanket.

“Here! Take this!” She fumbled.

I took the blanket and rested it beside me. Sarah walked back out to the car and left with Kaitlyn.

“Dang. She really didn’t want to go.” Nicole stated.

“Nope.” I murmured. “Not at all.”

“Why’s that?”

I shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Weird.”

I nodded. “Alright, I’ll be back in a sec. Don’t kill each other while I’m gone.”

Nicole ruffled Jaxon’s hair. “Okay Dad.”


	12. Chapter 11- This Was No Accident, This Was A Therapeutic Chain of Events

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

“Alright, I know you don’t want to be here kiddo, but you have to start talking soon.”

I shook my head and turned away from her.

“Kaitlyn, come on. You’re here for a reason and that’s to talk.”

I didn’t respond.

“Kaitlyn, stop. You’re going to talk. I don’t want you wasting my time.” She sighed.

“T-Then just let me g-go home.”

“That’s not going to help you at all.”

I shrugged. “It’ll make me feel better.”

She sighed. “Alright, so why are you in such a bad mood?”

“Because I am.” I responded.

“That’s not a very extensive answer.”

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

“Well I was wanting one, so spill.”

I shook my head. “Can I go home now?”

“No.” She stated simply.

I folded my arms and scowled.

“You can really be a pain, you know?”

“I know.” I stated.

“Just get Sarah.” She sighed.

I went out of her office and found Sarah sitting in the waiting room. “Indigo wants to see you.”

She nodded. “Okay. Wait here bub.”

I waited until she was gone before I walked out of the building and started heading down the street. Though my destination was clear, I was getting a lot of satisfaction out of breaking the rules.

******* Sarah’s Point of View *******

“Has she been giving you a hard time as well?” I asked as I sat down across from Indigo.

She nodded. “She wasn’t talking for ages and when she was she barely said anything.”

“Darn…” I murmured. “I was hoping she’d open up to you.”

“Do you know what’s wrong?”

“Not really. Brendon’s parents came over this morning and that happened, but she seemed okay after. This all just spiralled out of nowhere, really.”

Indigo sighed. “I don’t know how to help you, I’m afraid.”

“Was there any reason you wanted to speak to me?” I asked.

“Well, I have some concerns regarding Kaitlyn’s progress…”

I frowned. “Go on.”

“Well, I’m just a bit concerned because most patients should have rebounded by now and should be living, well, normally. Kaitlyn, well, Kaitlyn’s not. She’s taking her medication, coming to therapy, doing everything she should, and yet we’re not seeing results. And I was wondering, do you know why?”

“No, not really. What do you think?”

Indigo sighed and flicked through her notes. “I don’t know. I don’t know at all.”

“Well how are we supposed to find out?”

She shrugged. “There’s only so much I can do from here. That’s why I think I need you to do some snooping. Has she been off or so recently?”

“A bit. Her moods been a bit all over the place.”

Indigo wrote that down. “Anything else?”

“Not that I can immediately recount.” I stated.

“Thanks anyway Sarah. Can you send Kaitlyn back in so we can finish up?”

“Sure.” I answered, getting up and leaving the room.

I walked out to the waiting area and looked around. “Kaitlyn?”

I searched around and couldn’t find her, and no one at the reception desk had seen her.

“Dammit.” I muttered as I walked back into Indigo’s office. “I think she might have run for it.”

“What? Seriously?”

“No one here has seen her and she’s not here!”

Indigo stood up and we left the building. We checked the immediate vicinity but couldn’t find her anywhere.

“I’ll get the car.” I sighed.

She nodded. “I’ll keep walking. You go right I’ll go left.”

I nodded. “Okay. Call me if you find her.”

“Of course.” Indigo assured, beginning her search.

I ran through the carpark to my car and started search the left of the neighbourhood, to no avail.

I started driving through the side streets and was getting very stressed before Indigo called.

“Did you find her?!”

“Yeah, I did. Can you drive down and get us?”

“Of course. Where are you guys?”

“We’re on the corner of Harrison’s street and Rose street. Do you know where that is?”

I nodded. “On my way.”

“Awesome. See you soon.” She said before hanging up.

I drove to their location and parked the car. Kaitlyn was sitting on the sidewalk with a big frown etched on her face.

Indigo lead her into the car and we drove back to the offices.

“Now, let’s finish the session.” Indigo stated.

She took Kaitlyn back into the office and I sat back down.

******Kaitlyn’s Point Of View*******

“Now, let’s talk about why you ran away.”

I shook my head.

“You aren’t leaving until we do.”

I shrugged. “That’s fine by me.”

“Kaitlyn you need to talk. Why’d you run away?” 

I shrugged. “I was bored.”

“And where did you think you were going?”

“For a walk.”

“To where?”

I shrugged. “Anywhere.”

“And where would be anywhere?”

“Wherever my feet took me.”

Indigo frowned. “Cut the crap Kaitlyn. Where were you going?”

“To talk to my friends.” I answered.

“What friends?”

“Ones from my old school.” I stated simply.

Indigo frowned. “I thought you said you didn’t have any friends.”

“I don’t recall saying that. How rude of you to make that assumption.”

“It wasn’t an assumption Kaitlyn. That’s what you told me.”

“I have told you about my friends before. Clearly you’ve been ignoring me.”

“No you haven’t. I don’t ignore you. What is with you today?!”

“I have told you about them! And you hate them!”

“What? The ones in your head?”

I shook my head. “It was long before them.”

Indigo studied my face for a moment before writing something down.

“What are you writing now?”

“When exactly did you tell me about these friends of yours supposedly?”

“In the hospital. The first time I was there. Not long after meeting you, I suppose.”

She walked over to a filing cabinet and pulled out a folder with my name on it. After flicking through it all, she shrugged. “No records, and I have no memory of it.”

“Pretty stupid of you to not write it down. It was pretty important.”

Indigo looked me square in the eyes. “You’re hallucinating.”

I chuckled. “If you say so.”

She narrowed her eyes and looked me over. “What’s that in your pocket?”

“Nothing.” I stated.

“If it’s nothing, then show me.”

I threw it onto the coffee table. “Nothing.”

Indigo bent down and picked up my canister. “What are these Kaitlyn?”

“Things.”

She grabbed my chin and studied my eyes for a moment. “You’re high, aren’t you?”

“Nope. Course not.” 

“Sarah!” She called.

I rolled my eyes. “She can’t do anything.”

Sarah walked in and Indigo threw her the cannister. “I know what’s been causing everything now.”

“What’s this? It looks like what Bren used to take.”

“She’s high.” Indigo sighed.

“WHAT!?”

I rolled my eyes again. “As I said, I’m not.”

“You are. Look at you. Red eyes, dilated pupils, and not to mention the cannister of drugs in your pocket!”

“Maybe I’m just reaaaaaaallllly tired or maybe I’ve got like, conjunctivitis or something.”

Sarah looked really angry. Really, really angry. She turned and stormed out of the room, throwing the cannister on the floor. I was thankful it was plastic and not glass. I quickly reached out and grabbed it and slipped it back into my pocket.

“Good to see she’s given up on me. It’s your turn now Indy!” I grinned.

“Don’t call me that.” She grumbled, sitting down and writing some more stuff down.

“Why not Indy?” I pestered.

“Because that nickname is what my family refers to me as and you are not my family, therefore I’d prefer it if you didn’t call me that.”

“What aboutttttt………..Inds! Yeah! Like Linds! Like Aunty Lindsey!”

“You’re walking on very thin ice kid, you might want to tread carefully.” She warned.

“I’m just being friendly! You said you didn’t like me calling you Indy so I’ll call you Inds instead!” I beamed.

She ignored me.

“My dad’s started calling me Sushi. Apparently that’s what my actual Dad wanted to call me. Did you know he’s dead? Dead Damien?” I giggled. “That sounds funny!”

Indigo put some headphones on.

“Wow. Therapist of the year here. I’ll just leave since you don’t care.” 

She slammed the door with her foot.

“Rude.”

“You wait here until your Mom comes back.” She said sternly.

“Do you hate me?” I asked.

“No, I’m just very frustrated and a little angry at you at the current moment.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Kaitlyn,” She said softly. “Me and your parents have been doing everything we possibly can to give you the best quality of life and to help you through everything. And with this, you’ve just thrown that all back in our faces.”

“So I can’t get away with getting high yet you can get away with not doing your job? That’s unfair.”

“I’ve been doing my job!” She yelled.

“Sitting there doing nothing isn’t what you're supposed to do. You also broke a promise.”

“When you have a relapse, I have to about 18 pages of paperwork. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m doing my job Kaitlyn.”

“Doesn’t change the fact you broke a promise.”

“I’m sorry.” She responded.

“Now I can’t trust you.”

“Fabulous.” She remarked sarcastically.

“Maybe I should get a new therapist,considering you hate me so much.”

“I don’t hate you. As I said, I’m frustrated, and you’re not helping.”

“You’re the one who wouldn’t let me leave.” I reminded. 

Her phone started ringing and she answered it. After a short conversation, she turned to me.

“We’re going for a drive.”

“To where? Home?”

“Just to a place. Your Mom and Dad are going to meet us there.”

“Can you just tell me, because last time someone was this vague I found out I stabbed someone. Did I stab someone?”

“No, you haven’t stabbed anyone.” She stated, grabbing her car keys.

“So…..where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

“Tell me now!” I demanded.

“No.” She responded calmly, leading me out to her car.

I fought against her. “I’m not going unless you tell me!”

“We’re going to see your Mom and Dad.”

“Where!?” I essentially cried.

She somehow managed to force me into the backseat. “You’ll find out.”

“P-Please tell me.” I pleaded.

“Half hour drive from here.”

“Th-that doesn’t help. P-Please?”

“If you shut up I’ll drive through McDonalds on the way.” She bargained.

“I-Is this about th-the thing? I-Is it l-like, rehab or s-something?” I asked, becoming scared at the thought.

“Maybe.”

“I-It is, i-isn’t it? Oh god, i-is it the i-institution? P-Please don’t send me there Indigo!” I cried.

“It’s not the institution.” She answered simply.

I sighed in relief. “G-Good. N-Nowhere c-can be worse than there.”

“You might change your opinion about that actually….”

“W-Where are y-you taking me? A-Are you going to k-kill me? R-Rape me?! Oh god!” I cried.

“Jesus Christ Kaitlyn. I am not going to kill you or rape you. Who the hell do you think I am?!”

“Y-You said i-it’s w-worse than the institution…”

She pulled up to a building. “We’re here.”

“W-What is it?”

“Welcome to the Wesley drug rehabilitation centre.”

I gulped. “I-I’m sorry! D-Don’t make m-me go there! Please!”

“I don’t have control kiddo. You’ll have to talk to your parents. They’re over there.”

“Th-they’re doing this?! Th-they do hate me!” I wailed.

“Alright. Get out of the car.”

I got out of the car and curled up in the parking lot.

“Don’t do this Kaitlyn. Come on, get up.”

I shook my head as I found myself panicking uncontrollably. Great, just what I needed right now.

Indigo pulled me to my feet and practically dragged me into the lobby, where Mom and Dad were sitting silently, a bag of my things beneath their feet.

I felt my breathing become more laboured. They were really doing this.

_ We always knew you were useless. _

I dropped to my knees and curled up against the wall, essentially letting myself lose control, hoping it’d take me out of here.

“Kaitlyn?” I heard Indigo ask.

I ignored her and let myself fall deeper into this trap. 

_ Good to see you worked out where you truly belong, as a distant memory. Welcome Kaitlyn. If you keep this up long enough you just might be able to deprive yourself of oxygen. _

I felt someone lift my head off the floor. “What’s going on bub?”

I wanted to ignore it, and I did to an extent. I became fixated on my mission. It was easy, I just had to stop breathing. It shouldn’t be this hard!

Sarah pulled me into her lap and gently stroked my hair. “It’s okay bub. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay!” I burst finally into a fit of tears.

She pulled me into a hug. “Shhh. It’s okay Kaitlyn. It’s okay.”

“W-Why do you h-hate me?” I asked, teary eyed.

“We don’t hate you bub. Not at all.”

“Y-yes you do.” I cried, pulling away. “You d-didn’t even have t-to consider this. I-It’s like you’ve always w-wanted me here!”

Sarah shook her head. “I know it’s hard right now to believe, but you’re here because we really want to help you. And this is the only way left to do it.”

“I-I’ll take anything e-else! I-I’ll be your slave i-if I h-have to!”

“We don’t want you to be a slave.” Brendon stated. “We want you to break your drug dependency.”

“I-It was j-just a little slip up! I-It was an accident! I’m sorry!”

Brendon handed me a plastic bag. “We found all this in your room. This was no accident.”

“I-Is it b-because your famous?” I whispered. “B-Because i-it’d look b-bad i-if I was a-addicted b-because I’m y-your daughter, b-because i-it would m-make you look bad? B-because e-everything h-has to be p-perfect since y-your famous s-so I have to be p-perfect?”

“Kaitlyn, the fans don’t even know you exist. We want you to break the dependency so you can be happy. So you can live normally. So you can get better. It has nothing to do with me at all.”

“L-let me d-do it at h-home. This w-won’t help, I-I won’t be happy! J-Just being here, I-I feel so u-useless, s-so small. I-it just m-makes me want to d-disappear.”

“We tried to let you do it at home. We really did. But you couldn’t. So here we are.”

“I-If you l-leave me h-here I’m j-just going to h-have an e-episode. I k-know it. I-it’s too m-much like the g-group home, a-and the voices, th-they’re back already! I can’t do this!”

Sarah handed me my emergency medication. “Here bub.”

“THIS ISN’T GOING TO FIX EVERYTHING!” I knocked it away and started crying uncontrollably.

A man walked into the waiting area. “A room is ready now.”

My eyes widened. “N-no! Don’t m-make me go!” I cried, feeling the panic return.

Sarah helped me off the ground. “Let’s go.”

“N-no!” I froze up. My voice hitched and I honestly felt like I couldn’t control anything. My legs buckled underneath me and I just fell, not having any control.

Brendon just picked me up and carried me inside anyway.

“I-I hate y-you Brendon, S-Sarah.” I stated, removing their mother and father titles.

“Well, we love you Kaitlyn.” Sarah responded.

“You should give people you love second chances.”

“Kaitlyn, this is your second chance. I know it’s hard to see right now, but it’s your second chance.”

“Well since I don’t get a proper second chance, you don’t get a second chance of being parents. Put me down. Kaitlyn Priss is capable of managing herself.”

Brendon put me down on the bed in the room

“Thank you Mr Urie. Now I suggest you leave. They tend to only let family visit in these sorts of places.”

Brendon sighed and walked out of the room.

“I know you’re mad Kaitlyn…” Sarah whispered. “But please, please remember that this is going to be good for you. We’ll be back as often as we can visit.”

“Don’t come back.” I stated.

She sniffled and pressed a kiss to my forehead before walking out of the room. “If you change your mind, there’s always room at the Urie home for you. Always.”

“Apparently not.” I muttered.

She sighed and walked out of the room, leaving me alone with the man who had led Brendon and Sarah in here.

“Alright, what hell do you have lined up for me?”

“Games night?”

“Joy.” I muttered.

“You’re welcome to come out to the common area, or you can stay in here. Doesn’t matter to me.”

“You know where I’d really like to be?” I asked him.

He looked at me. “Where?”

“Well at the graveyard, they have these really nice wooden houses and they’re buried under the ground so it’s never hot and you are never disturbed.”

The man sighed before leaving the room.

“Fun. I’m alone now.” I murmured. I picked up the pillow and checked the thickness of the pillowcase and smiled. “Perfect.”

*******Sarah’s Point Of View******

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell us.” I stated.

“Of course she wouldn’t tell us Sarah. It’s not like she’s particularly proud of it.” He murmured.

“Yeah, but she didn’t ask for help.”

“It’s not that easy Sarah.” He muttered.

“You can’t pretend you're not upset Brendon. We have a child in bloody rehab!”

“She basically disowned us as parents.” He murmured unclearly. “Mr Urie…. Who the hell calls me Mr Urie!?” He yelled, frustrated,.

I gasped. “How are you going to explain this to your bloody Mormon family?!”

“I DON’T KNOW!” He snapped. 

“Jesus christ…” I murmured.

He started crying. “I-I can’t.”

I pulled him into a hug. “I-It’ll be okay Bren. We’ll, we’ll sort something out.”

He pulled away. “I won’t!” He shouted, beginning to pace around.

“Talk to me Bren. What’s going on?”

He grabbed the keys off the table. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Where are you going Brendon?”

“Wherever the hell I want!”

I grabbed his hand. “Well, let me come.”

“Let go Sarah. Trust me, it’ll be a hell of alot easier.”

I shook my head. “I want to come.”

“I found my calling Sarah. It’s been 10 years of hell and I finally worked it out. So stay.”

“I’m coming Brendon.” I responded, closing the door behind us. “I’m coming.”

“Fine.” He murmured. We got in the car and Brendon didn’t hesitate in speeding down the streets until he ended up on Parkinson’s.

“B-Brendon what are you doing?” I asked nervously.

“It’s my turn to be the black car. If this all works my hell will be passed onto someone else.”

I put a hand on the wheel. “No Brendon.”

“Yes.” He grunted, pulling on the wheel, causing the car to swerve slightly.

“No Brendon! NO!” I screamed, pulling the wheel back towards me.

“You shouldn’t have come Sarah.” He stated, closing his eyes and yanking the wheel toward him. He took a deep breath in, and I thought he was about to stop, but he sped ahead and in the end, did crash into another car.

I screamed in terror as a piece of glass came towards me and went straight into my ear.

Brendon’s eyes widened before he ended up passing out. 

A woman came running towards us. “A-are you guys alright?!”

“Go check the other car.” I directed.

“I’m from the other car! Everyone there is fine, but you look seriously injured!”

“I-I’ll be fine.” I stated unsurely. I looked down at my bump and started panicking. I had completely forgot there was someone else.

“Jesus are you pregnant?!”

I nodded slightly, becoming terrified.

“O-Okay, I’m going to call an ambulance.”

I nodded. “Okay. Are you sure everyone is okay in your car?”

“We’re fine. You guys took the brunt of the impact.”

“I’m so sorry this happened!”

“I’m just going to call the ambulance, I’ll be back in a moment.”

I nodded and leaned back into the chair. Although I’d obtained the most physical injuries, I couldn’t imagine what this would’ve done to Brendon.

The woman came running back over. “Oh christ. Your ear. Oh christ.”

“There’s nothing we can do about it. I’m just trying to stay calm and I’m hoping my husband won’t wake up.”

The woman opened the car door. “He seems uninjured, I think.”

I nodded. “That’s a good thing.”

“You on the other hand…. The 911 people told me to make sure that you stay where you are and try not to move.”

I nodded. “I don’t really want to move…”

The woman nodded. “What’s your name?”

“Sarah. You?”

“Nancy. Nice to meet you.”

“Once again, sorry this happened.” I murmured. “I can’t really really explain it.”

“It’s fine Sarah. Please don’t worry. Right now, we only need to focus on making sure that you get medical attention.”

I sat and talked to Nancy for a while longer until the ambulance came. They had to get help to cut open the car door before they could get me out, but once they did, they laid me down on a stretcher and gave me a green whistle to suck on. Nancy came with me since they took Brendon away too and we were driven to the hospital.

Nancy stayed with me the entire time as they did testing and such. I was just in shock and it was becoming much harder to stay calm. They had to stitch up my ear, since the glass did a considerable amount of damage, and that terrified me. Plus, the fact that I couldn’t hear out of it was probably the scariest thing of all. The painkillers were still in effect but I just hated everything about the hospital.

“Can you hand me my phone?” I asked her.

She nodded and gave it to me. “Why are you going to call?” 

“My daughter.” I sighed, pressing on Nicole’s contact.

“Hello?” She answered. 

“Hi Nicole, um…..there was an accident and Brendon and I probably won’t be coming home for awhile. Can you call Gerard and ask him to come over?” I asked. 

“I will, what happened though?”

I sighed. “We were in a crash.”

“There was one on TV! I thought it looked like your car. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think. I’ll keep you updated.” I promised.

“What about Dad?” She asked. 

“I think he’s fine physically, I’m not how he’ll be. He passed out so I don’t know what he’ll be like when he wakes up. Hopefully he doesn’t have an episode.”

I heard her gulp. “Alright, I’ll call Gerard. Wait, what about Pickles?”

I took a deep breath in. “I don’t know yet Nicole.”

“O-okay….bye Mom.” She murmured before hanging up.

*******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

I looked around at my surroundings. They seemed liked the hospital, though I couldn’t place why I was here.

“Did Zack crash the tour bus?” I asked the woman who was in the room.

“What are you on about Brendon?”

I sighed. “Is Ryan here? I’ll ask him.”

She shook her head. “I have no clue what you’re talking about Brendon. I don’t know who Zack is, or Ryan is, or why you think you were on a bus, but okay.” 

“For the Nothing Rhymes with Circus tour? Zack said if we didn’t shut up he’d crash the bus.”

“Brendon, that tour was over a decade ago. You’re 29, and in hospital because you were in a car crash.” The woman studied my face for a moment. “I think you may be suffering some amnesia.”

“If I’m 29, then that tour would’ve been 12 years ago! I don’t have amnesia! You’re the one with amnesia! You’ve gone crazy!”

This situation truly had me baffled. This woman, a doctor of sorts is trying to tell me I’m 12 years in the future, that I’m 29 and that Ryan isn’t here! Who the hell does she think she is?!

I ran my hands through my hair, finding it unusually short.

“Who the hell cut my hair?!” I asked, becoming confused and very frustrated.

“Brendon, your hair has been like that for many years. Calm down.”

“Who the hell are you anyway!?” I asked angrily. 

“I’m your psychologist of almost 8 years, Dr Joanne Yolanda.” She said calmly.

“I don’t have a psychologist! Where is Zack?”

The woman sighed. “Would you like me to ask Sarah if she can contact him?” She offered.

“Who is Sarah?” I questioned.

Her eyes widened. “Sarah Orzechowski? Your wife?! The mother of your child?!”

I stared at her, baffled. “So you’re trying to tell me I’m a married 29 year old with a child?!” 

“Brendon, you have four children, one of which your wife is pregnant with. Does the name Pickles ring any bells?”

“Pickles? No, not really.” I admitted.

“Kaitlyn, Nicole, Jaxon?” She urged.

I shook my head. “I don’t know them, sorry.”

She stared at me in disbelief. “Brendon, they’re your children.” She whispered.

“I don’t have children?” I answered unsurely.

She stood up. “I’ll, um….I’ll be back.”

“Did I offend you? Was I rude? I’m sorry….” I apologised.

“No, you’re fine Brendon. I'm just going to talk to some doctors.” She assured.

“Okay. Goodbye Dr Yolanda.” I smiled.

She gave me a weak smile before leaving.


	13. Chapter 12- Please Don’t Leave.

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

I was determined to sit on this bed until the day I died.

I couldn’t believe that  _ my own parents  _ had abandoned me to this horrible place to rot and die. And worse, the drugs were wearing off, and I was feeling the side effects already.

The man from before returned. “How’s it going?”

“Just d-delightful.” I remarked sarcastically.

“Look, I know you don’t like it here, but you don’t have to be rude to me.”

I curled up. “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, just try to be more careful, okay?”

I didn’t respond and rolled over so I was facing the wall.

“Come on, don’t be like that.” He whispered.

“H-How else am I s-supposed to be?” I whispered back.

He shrugged. “Just try and make the most of this.”

I simply remained silent.

“Anyway, I came to talk about your parents.”

“B-Brendon and Sarah?”

He nodded. “Yeah….”

I clenched my fists. “They’re n-not my parents.”

He sighed. “Alright. I won’t bother telling you then.”

“W-What’s up with t-them? Have they abandoned me for good?”

“Well they aren’t your parents so I’m not telling you.” He stated simply, about to walk out.

“They’re my legal guardians?”

“But you don’t care.”

I sighed. “P-Please don’t p-play games. I-I’m in a b-bad enough place as it is.”

“They were in a car accident and are in hospital.” He stated simply.

I blinked a few times as I took it in.

He sighed. “They think your mother is fine but apparently your father has serious amnesia. He can’t remember anything from about the past decade. They don’t know if it’s permanent or not.”

I remained silent.

“I’ll leave you alone now…”

I waited until he left the room before I burst into a flood of tears.

This was like some cruel game. They were hurt and I couldn’t see them. I was trapped here. A woman then came into the room after hearing my crying.

“Are you alright hun?”

I wanted to respond, but I couldn’t control my sobs in order to do so.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“M-My-” I struggled.

She sat beside me and rubbed my back. “It’ll be okay.”

“I-I d-d-don’t t-t-think s-so…” I whispered.

“It always does.” She assured.

I shook my head. “Y-You haven’t met my f-family.”

“Well, maybe I’ll understand if you can tell me what’s wrong.”

“M-My M-Mom and D-Dad are in t-the h-hospital and my D-Dad has b-bad amnesia and h-he doesn’t r-remember m-me and then M-Mom is h-hurt too and s-she had pickles!”

The woman nodded. “Pickles?”

“Sh-she was pregnant. W-We didn’t h-have a n-name but w-we nicknamed it P-Pickles.” I sniffled.

“I see.” She murmured.

“I-I hope they’re o-okay.” I whispered.

“I’m sure they will be hun. Look, let’s not think about that. Do you want to come out and meet everyone else?”

I shook my head. “I-I’ll just stay h-here.”

“Mmkay. Well, if you ever want to come out, just go straight down the hall and you’ll come to the common area. I’ll come in and check on you in a while.”

“Okay. W-What’s your n-name?” I asked quietly.

“Melissa.” She smiled. “And you?”

“K-Kaitlyn…” I murmured.

“Okay Kaitlyn. Well, I have to go around and see some others, so you just sit tight until you’re feeling a bit better, okay?”

I nodded. “O-Okay…”

She smiled and ruffled my hair before getting up to leave.

I buried myself under the blankets, just searching for some peace and quiet.

I heard someone walk in and sit on the end of my bed. They didn’t talk. They just sat.

I peeked over the blanket to see who it was. “H-Hi?” I whispered.

It was a girl, about my age. She smiled slightly. “Hi.”

“W-Who are you?”

“June.” She answered simply.

I nodded slightly and returned to my blanket fort. “W-Why are y-you here?”

She shrugged. “You needed a friend.”

“I-I did?” I asked unsurely.

She nodded. “And now you’ve got one.”

******* Sarah’s Point of View *******

I laid back on the bed, still waiting for any sort of results, or just news about Brendon, but there was nothing. Even Nancy had left.

I moved my hand up to my bad ear and snapped them again, before sighing as I heard nothing once again. Some of the doctor’s told me that they’d fix this, but others told me it was permanent. But right now, all that really mattered to me was Pickles.

Finally, a doctor returned. I tried to read her expression to predict what she was going to say but her face was just neutral.

“H-How is everything?” I asked nervously.

“Some things are alright, others, not so much.” She murmured.

I slowly sat up. “Tell me everything.”

“Alright, in good news, the baby should be fine.” She paused. “With your ear, it’s almost certain it will be permanent. We’ll try our hardest, but don’t get your hopes up, basically.”

I put my hand on the bump. “As long as Pickles is okay, I guess…”

She smiled slightly before it fizzled out. “There is a slight concern with your husband though…”

“I-Is he okay?” I asked with a sense of urgency.

“Physically, he’s fine.” She tried to sugar-coat.

“But mentally?” I finished.

“Well, he has a pretty severe case of amnesia. He can only really remember half of his life. There’s apparently over a decade he can’t recount. We don’t know if it’s permanent yet though.”

“Oh god…” I murmured.

“We’d like to get you in there as soon as we can to see if try to spark something.”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

“I don’t matter. Brendon does. I’m fine.”

“Do you think you can stand up and walk fine?”

I grabbed the bed frame and hauled myself to my feet. “Yep.”

“Would you like to visit your husband now?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

She led me to Brendon’s room, where he was lying in the bed, looking at his wedding band confused. Dr Jo was sitting in the corner looking defeated.

“Hey Bren…” I said nervously

“W-Who are you?” He whispered.

I took a deep breath in. “I’m S-Sarah. Brendon, I’m your wife.”

“O-oh…..I g-guess that explains th-this?” He held up his hand, showing off his ring.

I nodded. “Yeah…”

He looked me over. “You’re pregnant….”

I nodded slightly. “Yeah. With Pickles….”

“Pickles?” He asked, his eyes lighting up slightly. 

“That’s what you wanted to call it…”

He went silent for a moment before he perked up. “Are Nicole and Jax with Gerard?” He panicked.

I broke into a smile. “Yeah. They are. It’s so good to see you’re back!”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “So they’re okay?”

“They are. They’re okay.” I assured. “And I’m glad to see you are.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He asked.

“You had amnesia Brendon.” Dr Jo said from the corner. “Quite bad too. You couldn’t remember anything from the past decade.”

His eyes widened. “Wow…” He trailed off, before looking at me. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“Me? Uh… Pickles is fine?”

“W-What about you though?”

“I’m okay. But my ear...well, my ear is a little, um… less than okay.”

He frowned. “W-What happened exactly?”

“We were in a car accident.” I said slowly.

“W-What? H-How bad was it?”

I started feeling a little dizzy. “Um, can you take over Jo? I think I need to sit down…”

She nodded. “Of course. So basically, it was terrible. You two sustained most the injuries, and I believe you car had to be written off.”

“Uh oh…” Brendon murmured.

“But don’t worry, it’ll be fine. Your family knows you’re here too.” 

“How long have we been here for?” He asked. 

“A couple of hours…” She answered. “Actually, while I’m thinking about it, the doctors said that even if Brendon gets his memory back, they’re still be points in time he can’t remember. With some things, he’ll regain the memory if you go over it slowly with him, others he just won’t remember at all.”

Brendon frowned. “That sucks.”

I stood up and wrapped him in a hug. “It’ll be fine.”

“They’re going to keep you here for a little while to make sure you don’t, relapse, per say.”

He sighed but nodded.

“It’s for the best Bren.” I assured. “Just like with Kaitlyn going to rehab.”

“Kaitlyn?”

“Our daughter? Damien and Lydia’s kid?” I urged.

“Who are Damien and Lydia?”

Dr Jo pulled me out of the room. “You can’t tell him.”

“Why not?” I asked. “He needs to know.”

“If he doesn’t remember Damien and Lydia then he doesn’t remember the crash which will make him much happier.”

“But he needs to know! He needs to remember Kaitlyn!”

“What’s the one thing Brendon  _ always _ wants?” She asked.

“To forget….”

“Point proven.”

“But what about Kaitlyn? Do you honestly think it’ll be good for her if her dad doesn’t remember her?!” I attacked.

Dr Jo sighed. “Well, this depends. Do you want your husband to be practically cured of his PTSD or do you want him to suffer for the sake of your daughter?”

I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t want to have to make this decision.”

“Well, then I’ll make it. We don’t tell him.” Dr Jo stated.

“But how am I going to explain Kaitlyn to him then?!” I asked. “How is he going to handle her?! She’s a handful for us as it is, but with Brendon having no experience with this?! This is going to be a nightmare!”

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, Sarah, but I think it’s possible.”

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

“I-I hate it here….”

June stood up and ran her hand along the exposed brick wall. “It’s not really a nice place to be.”

I looked down at my shaking hand. “And t-they took my cannister, so n-now my hand won’t stop shaking.”

June shrugged. “Withdrawals.”

I attempted to clench my hand into a fist. “I h-hate them.”

“Understandable.” She shrugged.

I sighed and flopped back on the bed. “Th-This place is boring.”

“At least I’m here.” June sighed, lying down next to me.

I smiled. “You’re cool.”

She grinned back. “So are you.” Her face fell slightly and she ran to the cupboard, pulling the door closed, just as the door to the outside hall opened.

“Hey Hun. How are you feeling?” Melissa asked as she leaned on the doorframe.

“Uh… okay I guess…” I murmured.

“Are you ready to come out? We’re serving dinner now.”

I shook my head. “I-I’m not hungry…”

“You still have to eat hun. Or else we can’t give the stuff that’ll help you with the withdrawls. I can see your hand shaking.”

I buried my hands in my pockets self-consciously.

Melissa gave me a sad smile. “Come on hun, it’s pizza night.”

I looked to the cupboard to see if June was there, but I couldn’t see her from where I was standing.

“What are you looking for?” Melissa asked.

“J-Just… my friend…”

“So you’ve met someone then? Who did you meet?” She sounded quite excited.

“June?”

She seemed confused. “We don’t have a June.”

“Sh-she trapped herself i-in the cupboard…” I whispered.

Melissa went to the cupboard and opened it up. “There’s nothing in here Kaitlyn.” 

I frowned. “I s-saw her go in there.”

Melissa gave me a sympathetic look. “Maybe you’ll see her at dinner?”

I nervously nodded. “O-okay…”

“Alright, let’s go.” She smiled.

I reluctantly walked behind Melissa out to a dining room of sorts. I had expected it to be full of kids, like the institution, but this place was full of adults.

I froze up and started heading back. I couldn’t go out there. I could already feel their judgemental glares.

“Kaitlyn?” Melissa asked, sounding a tad concerned.

“I-I can’t go out there.” I whispered.

“Well, how about we grab some food and we’ll go sit in the staffroom, okay?”

“A-are there l-lots of people there too?”

“No. It’ll just be us.” She assured.

I took a deep breath in. “O-Okay.”

She led me past everyone and grabbed me a plate of food before leading into a side room with only a small table in the middle of a bunch of desks lining the wall.

“Th-there’s a lot of p-people in there…” I mumbled.

“Yeah, well, this is a pretty big centre hun. There are some other kids though, I promise.”

“I-I didn’t really s-see any…”

“There’s three dining rooms. I’ll see if I can get you moved to the other one so you’ll have someone to sit with.”

I went silent. “Thanks, I-I guess?” I mumbled, not exactly thrilled with the prospect.

“Do you want to stay in this one?” She asked, a little confused.

“I don’t know, sorry.” I mumbled. “I’m still a bit everywhere at the moment.”

“That’s okay hun. When you figure out what you want, just let me know.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

She handed me my plate and started eating her own.

I ate a little bit and stared down at my plate. There was still so much left. I didn’t want to make a fuss so I tried to force another bite down.

Melissa glanced up at me. “Everything okay?”

I frowned. “I-I don’t know if I c-can…”

“Can eat the rest of that?” She finished.

“I don’t know…” I whispered.

“It’s okay. Just eat as much as you can, and that’ll be okay.”

I forced another bite down, and felt myself about to throw up, but I persisted and managed to at least finish half.

Melissa gave me an encouraging smile. “Thanks hun.”

“It’s o-okay.” I whispered, still feeling sick.

She put my half eaten plate on top of her finished one. “Alright. I know you don’t want to, but we sort of have to head out there now.”

“Why?” I asked nervously.

“We just have to get your daily allocated dosage.” She explained slowly.

I bit my lip, before nodding slightly. “Okay.”

Melissa lead me out to the area and collected a small cup of pills plus another small cup from another woman. She handed them to me.

“Okay, so these are your regular medication, and this one is your daily dosage.”

I sighed, slightly annoyed my craziness was catching to me, even here.

I took my regular medication before studying the extra tablet they’d given me. “W-What’s this?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Melissa stated.

“W-What is it?” I asked again.

“Just,” She sighed. “It’s just your daily dosage. So basically, if we strip you of all the things you’ve been taking regularly, you get really, really bad withdrawal symptoms. So, we give you a small amount each day to wean you off it. That’s all it is. It won’t give you a high, but it’ll stop the shaking.”

I frowned. “Fine.”

She waited until she’d finished it before taking the empty cups. “Do you want to stay out here and do some activities?”

I shook my head. “No thanks.”

“That’s okay hun. Do you know how to get back to your room?”

I shrugged. “I’ll work it out.”

She nodded. “Okay. I’ll come in in about a half hour to check in on you.”

I nodded. “Alright. See you then.”

I started walking down the hall in the direction that I thought the room was in.

“You’re going the wrong way, ya know?” June stated.

“Oh…” I murmured, turning to face her.

“Come on, I’ll take you back.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

She grinned. “No problems.”

She led me through the halls to what I assumed was my room. “I assumed this was the place you wanted to go. It was either here or home.”

“I think I’d prefer to be home…” I murmured as I sat down on the creaky bed.

“Well the options almost always there if you’re interested. No one seems to care here.

“Melissa seems like she cares…”

“Well yeah, you’d care if you were getting a tonne of money for looking after someone too.”

“Oh…”

June shrugged as she sat next to me. “It’s the way the world works.”

I sighed. “I guess so.”

“So what do you want to do?” She asked.

I shrugged. “There’s not a lot of options.”

She walked over to the desk and found a notepad. “We could play pictionary?”

I smiled. “Sure.”

She handed me the book and a pen. “You go first.”

I started quickly drawing something that vaguely resembled a dog and tried to add as much detail as I could.

“Cat!” June called.

I shook my head and stared at the image.

“Wait, it’s a dog!” She exclaimed.

I smiled. “Yep. Your turn.”

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“You still haven’t told me who Damien and Lydia are.” I huffed.

Sarah bit her lip and looked away from me.

“Why aren’t I allowed to know?”

“You just can’t, Brendon.” Dr Jo said sternly.

I frowned. “But I want to know!”

“I know Brendon. But we can’t tell you.” She stated.

“Tell me!” I demanded. “I deserve to know!”

Sarah let out a muffled sob and ran out of the room.

“I just want to know.” I sniffled.

“I know Brendon, but you don’t.”

“That makes no sense whatsoever.” I mumbled. 

“Considering you spent the last 8 years telling me you wish you didn’t know, and now you don’t, I’m just going to leave it for the sake of your wellbeing.”

“On that note, you're my psychologist and such, but why? What do I have anyway?”

“Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.” She stated.

“Fun. I can’t think of anything traumatic though.” I paused for a moment. “Does that have something to do with Lydia and Damien? Is that why you won’t tell me?”

“Yes.”

I sighed. “And that's all you’re going to tell me, I presume?”

“Yes again.”

I sighed again. “Thanks anyway, I suppose.”

“I should probably go find Sarah.” She murmured, leaving the room.

I flopped back onto the bed and tried to rack my brain for any memory of these people but I couldn’t think of anything and it was honestly frustrating.

Sarah returned a few minutes later with Dr Jo. “Sorry for leaving Bren…”

“It’s okay.” I assured. “I know I’m a bit frustrating.”

She half smiled and stroked my hair. “It’s okay.”

“Now, can we talk about, um, Kate or whatever her name was?”

“Kaitlyn?” Sarah asked.

“That’s the one. I don’t remember a Kaitlyn. At all.”

“That’s okay.” She sighed. “So we adopted her a couple of months ago. She’s our second daughter.”

I tapped my finger nervously on the end of the bed. “Right…. Okay. How old is she?”

“She’s 14.” Sarah stated.

“I see…” I murmured.

“What else do you want to know?”

“Um… why don’t I remember her?”

She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know Bren.”

“What’s she like?”

“Um, she’s kinda quiet but super nice and she’s super good at drawing and art stuff.” 

“That’s cool…” I murmured. “Anything I should know about her?”

“Well…..she’s schizophrenic, and...she’s also got PTSD and she’s sorta in rehab…”

“What?!”

Sarah frowned. “Yeah…”

“So we’ve got a kid with serious mental issues then.”

“If you  _ really _ want to put it that way, then yes.”

I played with my fingers. “So I was crazy, and I was taking care of a crazy kid at the same time? Jesus, that’s messed up.”

She sighed. “Please stop calling yourself, and her for that matter, crazy.”

“Well, I’m seemingly not anymore because nobody is telling me why.” I shrugged.

“Please, just be glad we aren’t telling you. I’ve seen you suffer for too long.”

I looked at the sincerity in her eyes and sighed. “Okay…”

“Thank you Bren.”

I shrugged. “I just don’t know about this kid Sarah… Why did we even adopt her in the first place if she’s this crazy?”

“Well for one, stop calling her crazy, two, we didn’t know at the time, and three, we love her.”

I wrinkled my nose up. “I haven’t even met her.”

“You will Brendon. Trust me. Y-you cared about her s-so much.” Sarah choked.

“Why are you getting upset?” I asked.

“Because you don’t remember your daughter Brendon!” She cried.

“I-I’m sorry Sarah!” I defended.

She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, it’s not your fault.”

I sighed. “How am I supposed to like, parent her? I don’t know her at all…”

“I don’t know Brendon. You’ll just have to figure it all out. Again.”

I groaned. “I don’t know about this. Can we send her back to where she came from?”

Sarah’s eyes widened. “No, no, a million times no. She is never going back there.”

“Huh?” I asked. “Why not?”

“No.” She said sternly. “That place is horrible Brendon.”

“Can’t be that bad.” I scoffed.

“You just, shut up Brendon.”

I frowned. “Why are you so protective of her?”

“Because she’s basically been tortured for most of her life, and I don’t want her to suffer anymore.”

“What if we, like, sent her to live someone nice?”

She sighed and turned to Dr Jo. “Can we talk outside?”

“Sure.” She responded, walking towards the door.

They left, leaving me alone once again. I was clearly supposed to remember this kid, but I couldn’t. There’s no way I could parent a kid I hardly know!

******* Dr Jo’s Point of View *******

“So what’s going on Sarah?” I asked.

“We have to tell him. He won’t understand otherwise.”

“Do you want him to suffer Sarah? This is his chance.”

“But Kaitlyn!” She tried to protest. “Look, wouldn’t you want to know?”

“And go through everything he’s been through? No.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?” She asked.

I shrugged. “Explain Kaitlyn. Just don’t explain Damien and Lydia.”

“It’s not that easy!”

“Try. Please. Let her meet him, and if it doesn’t work out, then we’ll tell him, okay?”

“Well I can’t just ‘let her meet him’ right now, can I?!”

“Just… soon.”

“This is too hard.” She muttered.

“Dealing with the aftermath of Brendon finding out would be harder. Remember that.”

“Yes, but that’d be more familiar.” She sighed.

I just sighed. “Don’t ruin his chance at happiness.”

“But my happiness doesn’t matter? Secret keeping isn’t exactly my strong suit. It’s stressful!”

I just sighed and walked back in to see Brendon.

“Is everything okay?” He immediately asked.

“Fine, don’t worry.” I assured.

“Okay….” He murmured. “Are we still keeping information from me?”

“Yes.”

“Talk to me when you’ve changed your mind.” He muttered, turning away from me.

“Brendon, please don’t be like this. This is what you’ve wanted for years.”

“Well now that I have it, I don’t want it.”

I frowned. “You really wanna know?”

“Yeah?”

I sighed. “Tell him Sarah.”

“Are you sure?” She hesitated.

“It’s what he wants.”

*******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

She took a deep breath in. “Okay, so Damien was your best friend from high school. Lydia was his wife. About 10 years ago, you were taking them, and their daughter Kaitlyn, to a theme park. When you were driving there, a car slammed into the side of your car, killing both Damien and Lydia on impact.” She went quiet.

All of a sudden, a wave of memories came crashing through my head.

And I screamed.

Sarah curled up on the seat and started crying.

“I-I take it back. I-I don’t want to know!” I cried.

“This is what you wanted Brendon.” Dr Jo sighed.

“N-No it’s not!” I sobbed. “WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TELL ME!?”

“Because y-you wanted t-to know a-a-and because of K-Kaitlyn!” Sarah sobbed.

I threw the sheets to the floor and jumped out of the bed before storming out of the room.

“C-Come back!” Sarah sobbed.

“I’m leaving! Go find someone else!” I shouted. I got into the elevator and pressed a random button before falling to the ground and crying.

“I-I k-killed t-them…” I sobbed.

The elevator dinged, but I couldn’t bring myself to get up. I just remained curled up in an unstable heap, secretly longing for help.

“Shh. Brendon. It’s okay.” I heard a familiar voice say as they helped me out of the elevator.

“S-Sam?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Let’s just calm down though, okay?”

I nodded unsurely and followed her breathing prompts until I had calmed down and the tears had stopped.

“Better?” She asked.

“Y-Yeah, thanks.” I sniffled.

“What’s going on Brendon?” She asked.

“W-Well I had amnesia and th-then they t-told me about the c-crash and I-I…” I paused. “I couldn’t h-handle it.”

Sam nodded. “They’re probably really worried, so let’s head back up to your room, okay?”

“O-Okay.” I stammered. “W-Why are you h-here anyway?”

“I was scheduled in over the past few weeks. Look, let’s just head back up to your room.”

I walked back to my room with Sam, and as soon as I returned, Sarah wrapped me in a hug. 

“I’m so sorry Brendon!”

“I-It’s okay. I a-asked for it…”

“Doesn’t mean I should’ve told you.”

I hugged her. “I-I’m sorry f-for all the t-things I said about Kaitlyn.”

“It’s alright Bren. You didn’t know.”

“It was still horrible…”

“It’s fine Brendon.” She assured.

“I’ve really got to get it together.” I sighed.

“No, it’s fine Brendon.” She promised. “Your parents are coming with Nicole and Jaxon later, okay?”

I nodded. “Alright. Where’s the bathroom though?”

Dr Jo pointed to a door in the corner.

I smiled. “Thanks.”

*******Nicole’s Point Of View******

“Come on Jax, don’t be difficult.”

“I don’t wanna go!” He folded his arms.

“You’ve got to. Come on, don’t you want to see Mom and Dad?”

He shook his head. “No!”

I sighed. “Why don’t you want to see Mommy and Daddy? They really miss you bud.”

He folded his arms. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“You have to Jax. Why don’t you want to go anywhere?”

“Because everyone stares at me Nikki!” He exclaimed, flopping backwards onto the bed.

I sighed. “Well we have to go now. Grandma and Grandad are waiting for us.”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

“Jaxon, please. We need to go.”

“How can you expect me to go when I can’t even walk over to you so we can go in the first place?” He asked.

I walked over a picked him up. I grabbed my phone off the charger before walking out to the lounge.

“J-Just leave me here!” Jaxon exclaimed, trying to squirm out of my grip.

“Please Jaxon, I’m not leaving you here alone. Mom and Dad want to see you.”

He sighed. “I just don’t want people staring at me Nikki.”

I frowned. “I’m sorry bud. There’s not much I can do about that.”

He frowned. “Can you just turn the TV on?”

I shook my head. “I’m afraid you’re coming Jax. Mommy’s worried about you. She doesn’t like leaving you for long.”

“When are Grandma and Grandpa getting here?”

“Any second now.”

He frowned and laid down on the couch.

“How do you propose we get people to stop staring Jax?” I asked him.

“By letting me stay here.” He stated simply.

“That’s not an option.”

He just sighed.

I heard the car pull up and picked Jaxon up. I carried out to the car and helped him get seated before getting into the back beside him.

“Hey Munchkins!” Grandma said excitedly. “How are you?”

“I’m alright. How are you?” I smiled.

“I’m great. Besides the fact that my little Brenny Boo is in hospital… but otherwise, great!”

“Well, that’s good I suppose. Have you heard much about how he is?”

“Apparently he’s awake and doing well.”

I grinned. “That’s awesome.”

“About about you Jax? How are you?” Grandma asked chirpily.

“Fine.” He mumbled.

“What’s up Munchkin?” She asked, sounding a lot more concerned.

“I don’t like being away from home.” He huffed.

“Well, hopefully this shouldn’t take too long…”

He nodded and went back to string out the window.

“So… how have you guys been?” I asked awkwardly.

“It’s been a bit quiet, but good, I suppose.”

“Is the hotel nice?”

“Yeah!” She beamed. “It’s really nice, actually.”

“Do you like it Grandpa?” I asked.

He nodded. “It is pretty nice.”

“That’s cool then.”

“Alright, we’re here.”

“You ready to head in Jax?”

He scowled. “I don’t have a choice.”

I sighed and carried him out, not in the mood for another arguement.

“Do you want Boyd to carry him?” Grandma asked.

I shook my head. “It’s fine.” I assured.

“It’s okay If I’m too heavy…” Jaxon whispered.

“No, bud, don’t worry, okay? You’re fine.”

He sighed and snuggled into me.

I carried him to Brendon’s room and he smiled. “Daddy!”

“Hey Jax!” Brendon grinned.

I put Jax down on the bed beside him and he wormed his way up to Dad’s arms. 

“How are you bud?” Dad asked.

“Happier now that I’m here with you.” Jaxon admitted.

Brendon smiled. “Aww. Thanks bud.”

“How are you Daddy?”

“Much better now that you’re here.” He grinned.

Jaxon’s face lit up. “Yay!”

“Where’s Mom?” I asked.

“I think she’s in her room. The doctor’s were talking about surgery for her ear.” He shuddered.

“Oh geez…”

“I hope everything’s okay.” He sighed.

“I’m sure it will be fine.” Grandma assured.

He bit his lip. “I don’t know this time Mom. I’ve really screwed up.”

“How about Nicole and I go see how everything is?”

He nodded. “If it wouldn’t be too much trouble…”

I smiled and started walking after Grandma down towards Mom’s room.

We opened the door and a doctor came out, almost bumping into us. “Oh, sorry.” He murmured, before taking off down the hall.

“Any news on Sarah Urie?” I called after him.

“I’ll be back soon. Ask then.” He stated.

“Rude.” I murmured as I walked in to see Mom.

“Hey bub.” She smiled slightly.

“How are you?” I asked.

“I’m fine….how are you?”

“Good. How’s the ear?”

She sighed. “Not great, truthfully.”

“What’s up?”

“Every doctor is saying different things, so I don’t actually know what’s going on.”

“That sucks.” I murmured.

“It does.” She sighed. “There’s not a lot I can do about it though.”

I nodded in agreement.

“Have you talked to Brendon?”

“Yeah, we just came from there.”

“How is he doing?”

“Pretty good. He sent us to find out about you.”

She smiled. “That’s so like him.”

“Do you know how Kaitlyn’s doing?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I honestly don’t know.”

I bit my lip. “I hope she’s okay…”

“I hope so too. I feel horrible for leaving her there…”

“Did she get upset?”

Sarah nodded. “She hates us.”

“That bad?”

“Yep. She even called Brendon Mr Urie. And well, she basically disowned us as her parents.”

“Oh geez. Do you think she would still consider me family? I mean, I could go and talk to her…”

She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Well, there’s no harm in trying.”

She nodded. “I guess so.”

“Also, has she been acting, odd to you?” I asked.

“She has been acting off, yeah.”

“Yeah. Because I’ve been noticing and I’m not really sure is she’s, um, totally okay in the head…”

“What do you mean?”

“Just, I hear her talking. Really late at night, like at 2am or 3am. And she’s talking to herself and it’s sort of worrying.”

Sarah sighed. “Alright. I’ll talk to Indigo about it.”

I nodded. “Thanks…”

“How’s Jaxon been?”

I groaned. “Less than okay.”

“Why? What’s up?” She asked, becoming concerned.

“He doesn’t want to leave the house. It’s not good.”

She thought about it. “Why?”

“Because he doesn’t want people staring at him.”

Sarah sighed. “Of course.”

“Do you have any suggestions?”

“Other than maybe sending him to a psychologist as well…. Not really.”

I frowned. “Thanks anyway.”

“We’ll sort something out Nicole, don’t worry.” She tried to assure.

“I just don’t like him being sad.”

“Me neither. And I promise, we’ll make him happy again.”

“Are you sure?”

Sarah nodded. “Of course.”

I smiled slightly. “Okay.”

The doctor from before re-entered with his clipboard. “Evening all.”

“Good evening.” I greeted in return.

“How are you feeling Sarah?”

She shrugged. “About the same as before.”

He frowned. “Okay.”

“What’s going on with her ear?” I asked.

“We’re trying to work out a way to hopefully recover her hearing but we aren’t sure if anything will work.”

Sarah nervously tapped her fingers against the metal frame of the hospital bed. “And if it doesn’t?”

“Then you’ll just have to live with impaired hearing, I suppose.”

“Can she get a hearing aid or something?” I asked nervously.

“She can. It’s pretty expensive though.”

“We, we can get one though right Sarah?” I asked nervously.

“I don’t know….Maybe. We’ll have to talk to Brendon though. Most of it will be out of his money.”

“He’ll do it. He loves you, and god how he blames himself for this.”

She sighed. “I don’t know. It’s not super important. I can persevere. Maybe?”

I hugged her. “You shouldn’t have to though.”

She shrugged. “We have other, more important things to pay for.”

“Would could be more important than making sure that you can hear?!”

“Stuff for Jaxon, stuff for Kaitlyn, Brendon’s therapy.” She listed.

“How would you feel if I got a job?”

“Well, not great, truthfully.

“What if I…. walked dogs! In the morning! I already run, I can just take some dogs with me for some extra cash!”

“You don’t have to do anything Nicole.”

“But I want too. You’ve done so much for me, this is my chance to do something for you.”

“Don’t worry about it Nicole. I’ll just get used to it.”

“I don’t want you to. I want to help. Please, honestly, this isn’t even anything more than I usually do. And if I get enough dogs, I can earn quite a bit too.”

She sighed. “If you really want to Nicole, you can.”

I smiled. “Thanks Sarah.”

“But please, save up for something for yourself.”

“Fine. I’ll keep 20%.”

She sighed. “You’re really stubborn, ya know?”

I grinned. “Yep.”

“Alright, you can go annoy your father now. I’m going to take a nap.”

I smiled. “Okay Mom. Sleep well.”

“Stay safe Nicole.”

I nodded. “See you later.”

We walked back into Dad’s room and he smiled. “Good to see you guys again.”

“Mom’s doing okay. They don’t think she’s going to get her hearing back though….”

“A-And it’s all my fault…”

“Oh, Brenny Boo please don’t speak like that!” Grandma tried to tell him, putting an arm around his shoulders.

“B-but it’s true!” He sobbed.

“Dad, it wasn't you. It was the disorder, okay?” I tried to assure.

“The disorder that  _ I  _ have!” 

“Brenny Boo… it wasn’t your fault, okay?”

“Y-Yes it was.” He whimpered into the pillow

I hugged him. “No, it wasn’t Dad.”

“I-I should be in j-jail. I-I was putting p-people in danger.”

Grandma just stroked his hair and gently soothed him as he cried. Grandpa looked uncomfortable and had to leave the room.

“I j-just feel like g-giving up M-Mom.” He whispered.

“Oh Brendon…” She murmured, using his proper name for the first time since he’d arrived.

“I-I don’t know, I-I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

She hugged him tightly. “God never gives us more than we can handle. And I know you don’t follow our religion, but, well, I like to keep hope that someone in there…”

Brendon nodded and wiped his eyes. “It’s just going to take some time, I suppose.”

Grandma pressed a kiss to his forehead. “It’ll all work out for the best.”

“You could’ve stayed at the hotel ya know? You didn’t have to come.”

“I’m your mother, Brenny. Of course I’ll be here!”

“I’m fine though Don’t waste your time Mom. And besides, I’m always here. It’s nothing special.”

She sighed. “I know Brendon I know you’re always here and I hate that. I want you to come home so we can help you.”

“I can’t go home though. I need to be here.” 

She shook her head. “You’re coming home for a week with us. I’ve already booked your flights Brendon. I think it’ll do you good.”

“But the kids!” 

She shook her head. “It’s already sorted.”

I looked up at her. “Really?”

“Really.” She stated. “Kara’s been planning it for months, truly.”

“Oh….”

“Didn’t you say that Brendon’s siblings were flying in today?” I asked.

She nodded. “They’re just going sightseeing today while we sort everything out here. We’ll probably meet up tomorrow.”

“What about Sarah?” Brendon asked. “She’s pregnant! How can she handle everything on her own?!”

“Brenny, do you honestly think you can help her in your condition?”

“Yeah….?” He answered unsurely.

I glared at him, causing him to bow his head. 

“Probably not…”

“See, it’s better you come with us.” Grandma said firmly.

“I guess so.” He muttered.

“What about Kaitlyn?” I asked.

“No one knows what’s going on with her.”

“Yeah, but considering she’s really not in a good place, isn’t it better that you’re around?”

“I don’t know Nicole. I think going away for a little bit might help.”

I shook my head. “I think it might help you, but it’ll do the opposite for her.”

“Well frankly Nicole, I might have to worry a bit more about me considering I seem to get in here almost monthly.”

I just looked at him sadly. “Okay.”

“But no, I’ll stay because Kaitlyn  _ needs _ me.”

“Brendon, your flights are booked. You’re coming.” Grandma said sternly.

“I can’t though, apparently I need to be here.”

“Too bad. Nicole and Sarah will look after Kaitlyn. Besides, she’s not even here. She’s in rehab.”

He sighed. “I hate being here. I hate knowing it’s my fault more though.”

“Well, you should be coming home soon.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” He muttered.

Grandma sighed. “Nicole, I need to have a little talk with your father. Can you go see Sarah for a little bit?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

“I’m not coming with you.” I stated firmly.

“Yes you are Brendon, it’s already been decided.”

“Well I wasn’t involved in the making of the decision.”

“That doesn’t matter.”

“It totally matters! I’m nearly thirty! I can make my own decisions!”

“Yes you can make decisions, that doesn’t mean they’re always good ones.”

I frowned. “My family needs me, Mom. And I’m sorry, but my family always comes first.”

“We are your family. And this is really stressing you out. I’ve even talked to your psychologist about and she agrees it’ll be good for you.”

“They’re my family too. And they need me more than you.”

“Well, be expecting a not-so-pleasant surprise.”

I shook my head. “You can’t make me do anything.”

“I know, but Dr Jo can.”

“Look, I’m tired. Can you leave so I can sleep?”

She shook her head. “I’m staying in case something happens. You can fall asleep though.”

I frowned and curled up away from her, pretending to fall asleep so I could hear her conversations with Dad.

“I don’t know Boyd. I’m just scared. After what Joanne said…”

“I’m still not sure though… I mean, he needs his family as much as they need him.”

She sighed. “He’s still as stubborn as ever.”

“He’s your son, after all.” Dad grinned.

“Says you.” She muttered.

“So are we really taking him home?”

“I honestly don’t know.” She sighed. “It seems like he’s not going to change his mind on staying here.”

“Look, it’s your choice. I don’t mind. Maybe we could get a place out here, ya know? To be closer. And Kara’s planning on moving out here later this year…”

“Maybe we should. I probably wouldn’t worry as much then...”

“Well, we’ll stay for the baby shower and maybe just have a look around at some places. We’ll have to go home and get everything packed of course, plus we actually have to sell the old place too.”

“That sounds great. Should we tell Brendon and Sarah we’re moving here?”

“Well, we’re going to have to.”

“We could surprise them?” She suggested.

I shook my head. “I don’t think they’d like that.”

“I guess so.” She murmured. I heard her flop back into the chair. “Hospitals annoy me. First Matt, now Brendon. It’s just exhausting.”

“It is a bit annoying. Although we’ve always known that this has been a possibility with Brendon.”

She sighed. “Brendon honestly terrifies me sometimes.”

“Me too. But we can’t really do anything about it Grace. He’s our son.”

“I wish there was some way I could’ve prevented all of this.”

“I know. We’ve done everything we could have. We even let him move back in with us after the original accident. And then he met Sarah and everything seemed good. But we always knew this could come back, and it looks like it has.”

“I never thought it’d  _ actually _ happen though. I honestly had forgotten about this before the relapse.”

“Well, we’re just going to have to deal with it. He’s broken again Grace, and it’s our job to pick up the pieces.”

“He doesn’t seem to want us to help though Boyd. He’s been pushing us out.” She whispered. “He’s been pushing everybody out.”

“That just means we’ve got to try a little harder.”

“I honestly don’t expect him to get better. He has made almost no progress seemingly. I know I shouldn’t give up but he seriously has me conflicted.”

“You want to give up on our son?! What would they do with him if we just gave up?!”

“I don’t know! They don’t even know what to do with him now!”

“That’s why we’re here Grace. We’re here to help. If we don’t, god knows. He’d probably just end up in an institution for the rest of his life.”

“W-Wait, what?” I stammered, sitting up.

“He wasn’t meant to hear that…” Boyd whispered.

“W-What do you m-mean? I-I’m not going back, a-am I?”

Mom moved over and took my hand. “No Brenny, of course not. Not while we’re around to take care of you.”

I was still panicking. I had calmed down a little but as soon as I regained my breath I thought about the institution again.

“Oh my Brenny boy…” Mom murmured, stroking my hair. “We’ll help you, I promise.”

I burst into a fit of tears. “I-I wanna be h-home.” I whispered desperately.

“You shouldn’t be here too much longer.”

“I d-don’t want to be here at all.” I whimpered.

Mom sighed. “I know.”

I clutched onto the pillow and cried into it, not really thinking straight, or thinking much at all.

“Oh baby…” Mom murmured.

“I-I don’t want to h-have to love anymore.” He whispered. “W-Why did we adopt kids?”

Mom and Dad didn’t say anything. 

A nurse poked her head in the door. “Visiting hours are over.”

“N-No! Please don’t leave Mom! Don’t leave!” I begged.

“Sorry Bren, but I think we have to. I’ll be back first thing in the morning, okay?”

I shook my head. “I-I need you to stay! Please!”

She pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Just try to get some sleep, okay?”

“I-I can’t.” I whispered, shaking slightly. “Not l-like this.”

She turned to the nurse. “Can he have some sleeping medication?”

I shook my head. “No more pills, please!”

The nurse nodded. “I’ll be back.”

“Not more! Don’t I have enough!?”

“Bren, we’re just trying to help you, okay? We’ve been through this.” Mom said slowly.

“Do it without pills! Please!”

She shook her head. “Sorry Brenny.”

“P-please.” I whimpered in a final desperate attempt.

She shook her head a final time as the nurse returned with a pill and a cup of water.

I refused to take it and pushed it away.

Mom turned to the nurse. “I hate to be a pain, but do you have it in a needle?”

My eyes widened. “That’s worse!”

“If you take it Brenny, then we won’t have to.”

“I hate medication.” I muttered, taking the pill.

“Thanks Brendon.” Dad stated.

“I guess you can abandon me now, like you wanted to.”

Mom hugged me tightly. “We’ll be back in the morning.”

“Alright. I'll see you then, I suppose.” I mumbled.

“Sleep well Brenny Boo.”

“You too Mom and Dad.” I whispered.


	14. Chapter 13 - It’s Just Not A Good Day.

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

“Who are you talking to?”

“N-N-Nobody…”

“You don't have to lie to me.”

I shook my head. “N-Nobody.”

“If you say so…”

I nervously bit my lip and sat back on the bed, tucking my knees up to my chest. I’d been here almost a week, and I hardly ever left this room. It was starting to smell, but I couldn’t bring myself to face the adults.

“Are you planning on leaving this room anytime soon?”

I shook my head.

“Well okay. Usually this makes people worse since they are just stewing but maybe it'll help you.”

“I-I’m not leaving.” I stated firmly.

“Why not Kaitlyn?”

I fumbled for a reason. “I l-like this wall?”

“That's not a viable reason Kaitlyn.”

I buried myself under the blanket to hide from Melissa’s attempts to get me to leave.

“Kaitlyn, seriously. I've been trying to go easy on you but that's not helping you get better.”

“How is g-going out there g-going to help me with d-drugs?” I asked.

“It will take your mind off of it.”

“I’m already fine. I don’t even think about it.”

“If you were fine you wouldn't be here.”

“I’m fine enough that I don’t have to go out there.”

“That's enough.” She pulled me up off the bed and dragged me out of the room.

I shrieked and started pulling against her with all my strength. “L-Let go of me!”

“No Kaitlyn. We're going out to the common room.”

I shook my head wildly. “P-Please no! A-Anything but that!”

“The decision has already been made.”

And so I kicked her. In the shin. She dropped me in shock and I ran to the room, slamming the door behind me and pushing the dresser in front so she couldn’t get in.

There were many knocks at the door after that. 

“Told you she didn’t care about you.” June shrugged.

I sighed. “At least you're here.”

“Who are you talking to?!” Melissa called from outside the door.

“No one.” I murmured just loud enough for her to hear.

“Kaitlyn please don’t lie to me. I’m trying to help you. Please, just let me in!”

“I'm fine!”

“Well, let me in so I can see.”

“You can hear, it's fine.”

“Please, just let me in Kaitlyn.”

I sighed before pushing the dresser away. I flopped onto the bed and waited for pher.

Melissa cautiously pushed the door open. “What was that all about?”

“I don't particularly like being forced into uncomfortable situations.”

“Yeah, but why did you resort to kicking me? I don’t particularly like being kicked.”

“YOU WERE DRAGGING ME AROUND!”

“You’re hiding in here and leading to your own demise.”

“There is nothing you can do out there that will make me better.”

“There’s nothing in here either, and I’m starting to get a little worried about how much time you spend talking to yourself.”

“I’m not talking to  _ myself _ …”

“Then who are you talking to?”

“June.” I answered simply.

“And who is June?”

“My friend.”

Melissa thought about what I had said.

“Kaitlyn, I want you to answer me honestly for the next question, okay?”

“Of course.”

“Is June real?”

“Yeah? Of course she is!” 

“Okay, let me rephrase that. Can anybody other than you see June?”

“I don’t know. Can you see her?” 

She shook her head. “Where is she?”

“I don’t know. She runs off whenever you come in.” I admitted.

“And where does she run off too?”

“The cupboard, usually.” 

“And is she in there now?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t paying much attention.” 

Melissa opened the cupboard. “I might give your psychologist a ring, just to be on the safe side.”

“So you think I’m just crazy. Great.” 

Melissa sighed. “No, I didn’t say that. I’m just worried.”

“There’s no need to be.” 

Melissa sighed and got up from her seat. “I’ll be back soon.”

“Fine.” I muttered.

She got up and left the room, leaving me to my own devices before June sat down next to me. “She’s weird.”

I nodded. “She is indeed.”

“I don’t like her.”

“Well there’s not much I can do about that.”

“Why won’t she just leave you alone?”

“Because it’s her job t take care of me.”

June rolled her eyes. “She’s doing a pretty crap job.”

“I know.” I sighed.

June’s eyes went wide. “Gotta dash. Good talk.” She ran into the cupboard and hid.

“ What, why?” I asked, opening the door. She wasn’t in there though.

Melissa re-entered the room. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for June.” 

“Did you see her while I was gone?”

I nodded. “ She left just before you came back.” 

“And did she go into the closet?”

I nodded. “Mhmm.” 

“And is she still there?”

I shook my head. “ No.” 

“I suppose I should tell you that Indigo is on her way.”

“Of course she is.” I muttered.

Melissa sighed. “Do you want some lunch?”

I shook my head. “Not really.” I admitted.

“Come on, you hardly ate this morning. Let’s go get you some lunch.”

“I’m not eating.” I pouted.

“Yes, you are. Come on.”

“I’m not going!”

“Fine. I’ll bring it in here.”

“Doesn’t mean I’m going to eat it.”

“Indigo might.””

“I’m sick of everyone treating me like crap. I’m fine!”

She gave me a warning look before leaving the room.

“I didn’t even do anything!” I protested.

“She really doesn’t like you.” June stated.

“No, she really doesn’t. I don’t know why she’s in such a bad mood.”

“She thinks you’re crazy.”

“Everyone does.” I sighed.

“I don’t.”

“I know.” I grinned. “That’s why you’re my friend.”

She smiled. “But I don’t understand why everyone else hates me.”

“I don’t either. They’re just stupid.”

June smiled. “Thanks Kaitlyn.”

“So what do you do when you’re bored?”

She shrugged. “Just talk, I guess.”

“Interesting. I guess that can be fun.”

She shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“So why do you run off whenever people come? It makes me seem crazy.”

“If they see me Kaitlyn, they won’t understand. It’s better that I go than stay.”

“I guess so….I start to miss you though.”

June smiled. “I miss you too.”

There was a knock at the door and once again, June ran off, leaving me alone.

“Come in.” I sighed.

Indigo came in and closed the door behind her. “Hey kiddo.”

“H-Hi.”

“What’s been going on?” She asked softly.

“N-Nothing.”

“Melissa called me here because she was worried about you. Are you okay?”

“F-Fine.”

“You don’t have to lie Kaitlyn. Tell me what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking about. Even if it’s all about you hating me.”

“I want to go home now.”

“I know, I know. Hopefully you won’t be here too long.”

“I’m still here.”

“I’m aware. You’re only going to be here until you are travelling a bit better, so you need to let yourself be helped.”

I frowned and folded my arms.

“Kaitlyn, please. I don’t want you to be here either.”

“Fine.” I murmured.

“Alright, Melissa is going to get you some food and hopefully your medication, so sit tight.”

“I’m not hungry”

“Doesn’t mean you don’t have to eat. You’re never going to get better if you don’t try.”

“I tried this morning.”

“Well you didn’t try hard enough by my standards.”

“You weren’t even here!”

“Melissa tells me these things Kaitlyn.”

I frowned. “What else did she tell you then?”

“The fact you haven’t really left your room, the fact that you’re talking to someone called June and the fact that you seem short tempered.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

“Locking yourself in here wasn’t a bright idea either.”

“It’s better than being out there.”

“Yes but now you’re in trouble.”

“Why?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“You were reported as refusing treatment.”

“But I’ve been taking everything they’ve given me… what else did they want me to do?”

“Converse with other people. People other than  _ June _ .”

“I’ve been talking with Melissa?”

“Other people meaning other patients, Kaitlyn.”

“But they’re all adults!”

“If you had actually paid attention, you'd have realised there are quite a lot of kids too.”

“I-I’m still scared.”

“What would make it easier for you?” She asked. “And not doing it isn’t an option.”

“I-I don’t think there is a-anything…”

“Then I suppose you’ll have to suck it up. Come on.”

I shook my head in terror and froze up.

“Alright, let’s just sit and talk between us.”

“O-Okay…”

“Do you still hate Brendon and Sarah?”

“Not as much.”

“That’s good.”

I nodded awkwardly.

“Do you know what’s been going on with them?”

“A l-little bit.”

“Well they are doing much better than they were. Pickles is fine, Brendon’s gpt his memory back. There are few things still to be sorted out though, because Brendon almost had en episode, basically and Sarah may have permanent hearing loss.”

“O-Oh…”

“Yeah, it is a bit stressful still.”

“A-Are they m-mad at me?”

“I doubt it. I think they were a bit sad when they left because of what you said, but they aren’t mad.”

I sniffled. “I h-hate making people s-sad, but it s-seems to be the o-only thing I do.”

“You make them really happy too kiddo. This was just a slip up. Don’t worry about it.”

I sighed. “O-Okay.”

The door opened once again and Melissa came in with a plate and two cups.

“O-Oh no…” I murmured, knowing the battle that was about to come.

Melissa handed Indigo the plate before she rushed out of the room.

“So how difficult are you going to be Kaitlyn?”

I sniffled. “I-I don’t want to be d-difficult…”

She handed the plate to me. “You know what to do.” 

I nervously lifted the sandwich up and took a bite, despite everything inside me screaming for me to do the opposite.

“There you go, that’s a good start.”

“T-This h-hurts…” I whispered as I took another hesitant bite.

“I know, I’m sorry kiddo, but you really need to eat.”

A tear escaped my eye as I took a third bite.

“You’re doing really well.” She assured.

“P-Please no m-more!” I sobbed.

“Just one more bite, please.”.

I forced once more final bite before putting the sandwich down. “I-I feel s-sick.”

“Alright, just lie down on the bed for a little bit.” She instructed.

I laid down on the bed and turned to face the wall in the hope that I wouldn’t have to continue to talk.

Indigo just sat silently, leaving me in peace.

It was probably about 20 minutes later that I sat up. “B-better.”

She smiled. “Alright, so now you have your pills, so you can go back to hating me.”

I frowned, but reluctantly took them.

“I have to go soon.” She stated simply.

“Oh. Okay.” I shrugged.

“Are you going to be alright? ”

I nodded. “As long as they don’t try to make me talk to people.”

“Well I can’t promise that…”

I frowned.

“I’m sorry kiddo. I’m not the one in charge.

“C-Can you tell them to let me s-stay here?”

“I’ll certainly try.”

“Thanks…”

“Alright, bye kiddo. Stay safe.”

“B-Bye Indigo.”

She walked out of the room and I heard a brief conversation outside before the silence returned.

“To be honest, I don’t like her either.” June stated.

“Indigo’s nice though.” I frowned.

“I guess.”

“Why don’t you like her?”

“She doesn’t like me.”

“Well she hasn’t really had a chance to meet you.”

“I know. And she’s already decided that she doesn’t like me. It’s weird.”

“Maybe if you two talk she’ll change her mind?”

“I don’t think she’ll understand.”

“Understand what exactly?”

“Me.”

“What is there to not understand?”

“Lot’s of things.”

“Enlighten me.”

She sighed and flopped back on the bed. “It’s complicated, Kaitlyn. I don’t even think you’ll understand.”

“I’m sure I will, just tell me.”

She shook her head. “Nope, sorry.”

I frowned. “You’re not a very good friend.”

“Everyone has secrets Kaitlyn. You do, and I do.”

“Yes but at least you know most of mine.”

“Most being the key word. You know most of mine too.”

I crossed my arms and pouted like a toddler. “Meanie.”

She poked her tongue out at me, before smiling. “Let’s do something.”

“What do you want to do?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Anything you want.”

“I don’t know what I want though June. This is why I was asking you.”

“We could draw?” She suggested.

“Sounds good.”

I grabbed my sketchbook and sat up on the bed. “Hold still, I want to draw you.”

“Uh, okay?” She said nervously.

I grabbed a pencil and roughly began tracing an outline, before filling in her facial details. It was actually a pretty good drawing, if you asked me.

“Are you done?” She asked.

“Yep. You can relax.” I assured as I finished off the clothes.

She laid back in the bed and stared at the ceiling.

I smiled slightly and grabbed the coloured pencils, determined to get the purple of her hair just right.

“This place is really boring.” She sighed.

“I know.” I agreed.

******Sarah’s Point Of View*******

“Alright, just sign here, and you can go.”

I nodded and quickly scribbled my name on the sheet.

“Well, you’re officially released. You can go now if you want.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

I got up from the bed and got changed back into some regular clothes before walking down to see Brendon.

He grinned as I came in. “Sarah!”

“Hey Bren!” I smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright. How are you?”

“I’m great. Well, besides my ear. But other than that, I’m great.”

He paused for a moment. “That’s good, I suppose.” 

“What’s up Bren?”

“ I just feel guilty, as usual. Don’t worry.” 

I wrapped him in a hug. “Please don’t feel guilty Bren.”

“I can’t help it.” He frowned.

I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He assured. “It’s not your fault.” 

“At least you’ll be getting out of here soon.” I smiled.

He nodded. “That’ll be nice.” 

“Apparently Kaitlyn’s doing well…”

He smiled. “That’s good to hear.” 

“Although, I’m a little worried about her psychological side to be honest. Nicole’s worried too.”

“Why’s that?” 

“Apparently she’s talking to herself.”

“Oh….” He bit his lip. “I-I know nothing about th-that…” He stated unconvincingly..

“Brendon, do you know something about this?”

“M-Maybe….”

“What do you know?”

“Well it just depends. When are you talking about?” 

“Recently?”

He took a deep breath in. “I-I know nothing.” He stammered, crawling under the bed sheets.

“Brendon, anything you don’t tell me is something that could damage our daughter, so I highly advise you just let me know what you know.”

“She hasn’t been talking to herself….” He whispered. “Not all the time, at least.” 

I began to notice that Brendon was becoming a lot more anxious, to a point where he was started to shake

“Brendon, what’s going on?!”

“I-It’s nothing.” He stammered.

“For this is for the best, Brendon.”

“I-It’s just something b-between K-Kaitlyn, L-Luke and I…” 

“Who is Luke?” 

“ J-Just a friend. H-he g-gets high with us s-sometimes.” Brendon mumbled, before his eyes widened. 

“Are you seriously telling me you’re getting high with our daughter?!”

“No….?” 

I groaned. “Continue.”

“S-So Kaitlyn isn’t talking to herself. S-She is usually t-talking to Luke.” 

“What do you mean she’s talking to Luke? Do we have a creep living in our house?”

He shook his head. “He just v-visits l-late at night or the e-early m-morning. Usually after Kaitlyn and I h-have started though.” 

“So what, she just talks to this guy?”

He nodded. “Yeah. They talk about anything. Like unicorns or peanuts.” 

I sighed. “I can’t believe this. Is there a June too?”

“I’ve never met her personally, but I have heard her name thrown around.” 

“So you’re just inviting random people into our house then.”

“They’re our friends!” 

“How did I not know this?!”

He shrugged. “We did it pretty often.” 

“How many people?”

“3, usually. Sometimes more.” 

“And do you all just sit together?”

“Well yeah, and we use up whatever the supplier brings. The supplier changes every session, so it’s usually something new.” 

“I can’t believe you let me send our daughter to rehab when in all fact, you’ve been encouraging this!”

“I haven’t been encouraging anything! I just joined in because I could!” He defended. “And besides, I tried to tell you to not send her there but you wouldn’t take the goddamn time to listen!” 

“Maybe you need a stint in rehab too.”

“Don’t you dare Sarah.” He said, almost threatening me.

“You’re the one doing drugs!” I exclaimed. “And giving them to our daughter!”

“She was giving them to me! It’s not my fault she helped bring the stupid addiction back!” 

I sighed. “Alright. I’m going to take some time to think about this. But let’s talk about Kaitlyn. So even though you sit together, you never saw a June?”

“No, I never saw anyone called June.” 

“Because apparently that’s who Kaitlyn’s talking too.”

“Strange…” 

I nodded. “And that’s why everyone’s worried.”

“I see. Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you there.” 

I sighed. “So then Kaitlyn’s speaking to something that doesn’t exist. That’s going to be fun to work through.”

He frowned. “I’m sorry…” 

“It’s not your fault.” I breathed.

“It usually is.” He muttered

“Not this time.”

“If you say so….” 

“I don’t even know who’s fault this is. I think… I think it’s mine.”

“Why would it be yours?” 

“Because I’ve been so busy Brendon, I haven’t been speaking to her much at all. And obviously she’s so lonely that she invented someone to talk to!”

“I don’t think it’s your fault. You can’t help being busy. I haven’t had a proper, completely concentrated conversation with her in forever.” 

“Yeah, but with me it’s been months Brendon.”

“It’s not your fault.” He assured. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” 

I sighed. “It’s the only explanation I can think of.”

“I’m sure there’s another.”

I shook my head. 

“Sarah, you never do anything wrong, and this time is no different. It's not your fault.” 

“I do a lot of things wrong Bren.” I whispered. “And this is one of those times.”

He shook his head. “I’m not going to believe you for a second.” 

“That’s your choice.”

“I don’t know how to help you Sarah.” 

“I don’t either…”

“You can go home if you want. You don’t have to talk to me.” 

“No, no, I want to be here Brendon.” I assured.

“The hospital is one of the worst places ever.” 

“But being with you is one of the best places.”

Brendon blushed slightly.

“It’s true.” I grinned.

“You’re too kind.” 

“I’m just being truthful.”

“You just have too many good things to point out."

I smiled. “Thanks Bren.”

“It’s fine.” He grinned.

A nurse stepped in. “Sarah, can you come with me please?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course.” I answered, slightly confused.

The nurse led me out to the reception desk. “We just need you to sign his release papers.”

“Oh, okay.” I smiled slightly.

She handed me a form. “Sign here and here.”

I grabbed a pen off of the desk and signed my name on the places she specified. “Is that all?” 

She nodded. “Yep. You’re free to go, and so is Brendon.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

I walked back to the bedroom, where Brendon looked nervous.

“Is everything okay?” He asked.

I nodded. “We’re going home.” 

His face lit up. “Really?”

I nodded. “I just signed the release papers.” 

He practically leapt out of bed. “Woo hoo!”

I giggled. “Your parents brought you some clothes too.” I said, throwing the bag his parents dropped off yesterday.

He grinned before heading into the bathroom to get changed.

I sat down in the chair and waited for him to come out. Once he did, he basically pulled me up and lead me outside.

“And now we hope Gerard doesn’t take too long.” I sighed.

“Don’t we have a car?”

“It was written off, so no.” 

“Darn.” He murmured. “Public transport it is then.”

I nodded. “It’ll be fine.”

“Are we getting insurance money?”

“I don’t know yet.” 

Brendon was silent as he thought about that.

“What’s up Bren?” 

He snapped out of his apparent daze. “Sorry, I was just thinking about everything.” 

I kissed him on the cheek. “Don’t think too much.” 

He half-smiled. “Oh hey, Gerard’s here.”

We got into the car and were immediately welcomed by Bandit. Brendon sat in front of the car and fell dead silent.

“Everything okay Brendon?” Gerard asked.

“I guess so…” He murmured.

“What’s wrong Uncle Bren?”

“N-nothing Bee…” He voice cracked.

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “Y-yeah…” He whispered.

The rest of the drive home was silent.

Once we were home, Brendon retreated to the bedroom.

“Do you want to talk to him or do you want me to do it?” Gerard asked.

“I’ll try. I don’t know if I’ll get anything out of him though.” 

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.” I murmured, heading towards the room.

Brendon was lying on the bed with one of Damien’s photo albums, crying once again.

“Bren…” I sighed, gently pulling it from his grip. “What are you doing?”

“P-Punishing myself.” 

“Why are you doing this Bren?”

“I-it’s his birthday t-today…” 

“I see.” I murmured, putting an arm around him. “I know it’s hard Bren, but I promise, you’re going to get through this. Let’s go do something to take our mind off this.”

He shook his head. “I-I stole his life from h-him. I-I need to be punished.” 

“Come on. We’re going to sit and watch a movie and then we’re going to see Dr Jo.”

He got up hesitantly and kept looking back to the album. He took a deep breath in before following me out to the lounge room.

“What’s wrong Daddy?” Jaxon asked as soon as he saw him.

“I’m just having a bit of a bad day. Don’t worry bud.” 

“Mom says we’re going to watch a movie.”

I nodded. “What would you like to watch?” 

“Lion King!”

Brendon put the movie on and snuggled into the couch. It didn’t take very long for him to fall asleep, however.

Gerard turned to me. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Damien’s birthday.” I whispered back.

He sighed, but nodded in understanding. “I guess that makes sense.” 

“I’m taking him to therapy after this.”

“That’s probably for the best.” 

I nodded. “I thought so too.”

“Alright, well I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.” 

“See you later Gerard.” I smiled.

Gerard then had the job of pulling a crying Bandit away just after Mufasa had died.

Jaxon didn’t cry, he just came and snuggled up close to me.

“It’s okay Jax.” I whispered.

“That’s so mean!”

“I know. Do you want me to turn the movie off?”

“Yes please.” 

I turned the movie off and just turned regular cartoons back on. “Better?”

He nodded. “Thank you.” 

“I’m going to make some snacks, do you want anything?”

“Do we have any bananas?” 

I nodded. “Do you want one?”

“Yes please!” 

I went to the kitchen and grabbed Jaxon a banana while I grabbed the jar of pickles.

He smiled when I gave it to him. “Thanks Mommy!” 

“No problems Jax. Do you want me to peel it?”

“Yes please.” 

I peeled the top off the banana before handing it back to him. “There you go.”

He snuggled up beside me and just happily nommed on his food. Brendon stirred and rubbed his eyes. “Did I fall asleep?” He asked. “Sorry.” He mumbled.

“It’s okay Bren. How are you feeling?”

“Better, definitely. Still not 100% though.” 

“Well, we’re going to Dr Jo’s soon.”

He frowned. “Fine.” 

“I know you don’t want to Bren, but I am honestly trying to help you.”

“I know.” He sighed. “I’m just not in a therapy mood.” 

“Why do you go to ther-a-pee?” Jaxon asked.

“Well, a long time ago, someone was really mean to Daddy and when he thinks about it, he gets sad, so he talks to someone about it.” Brendon explained.

“Who was it?”

“I honestly don’t know.” 

“Then why do you get sad about it?”

“Because my best friend passed away because of it. And I feel really bad, because I feel like I should’ve saved him.” 

“Oh…”

I drew an end to that topic of conversation. “Where’s Nicole?”

“She’s in her room doing schoolwork, I think.”

I nodded and walked into her bedroom. “What’s going on Nicole?”

“Go away.” She growled.

“What’s wrong?”

She pulled three pieces of paper out of her bag and slammed them onto the desk. 

I read through the pieces of paper. One of them was a copy of the school policy, another stating Nicole was to attend after-school detention and the final one saying that her teachers want to see Brendon and I.

“What is all this?” I asked, feeling quite upset.

“It’s exactly what it looks like.” She murmured.

“How, How did this happen Nicole?!”

“J-Just…” She mumbled. “Well, I started a fight…”

I sighed. “With who?”

“My old friends.”

“And what started this?”

“Well they found out about Jaxon and were saying horrible things about him, and then Kaitlyn and then you and Brendon and then me. I just got frustrated.”

I frowned. “Look, I understand your frustration. But a fight really isn’t the way to go about this sort of stuff Nicole!”

“I know, I know okay!” She sniffled. “It was stupid, I know!”

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “I have to talk to your father. Um, he has therapy, so just, watch your brother until I get home.”

She nodded glumly.

I grabbed the notes before grabbing Brendon and taking him out to the car. I decided not to tell him just before therapy, so he’d talk about Damien in there. After all, that what was hurting him the most.

“Do I really have to go?” He moped.

“Yes, Brendon. Considering where I found you earlier, this is vital.”

He frowned. “Fine.”

“Come on, let’s go in.”

He nonchalantly got out of the car and walked in behind me.

We were a bit early, so we sat down in the waiting room while we waited.

“I’m bored.” Brendon mumbled, rocking slightly on the chair. “How do you sit here so long?”

“Just do, I guess.” I shrugged.

Dr Jo walked out and gave Brendon a smile before welcoming him back to her office. I decided to try and figure out what I was going to do about the Nicole situation.

I read through the notes thoroughly and just got more and more frustrated. It made it seem like Nicole was the worst kid ever.

But I knew she wasn’t. This was what didn’t make sense. It was a bit out of character, but yet this was such a big thing it couldn’t go unpunished.

After a while, Brendon came out teary-eyed once more.

“Everything okay Bren?” I asked, sounding a lot more worried that I thought I would.

He nodded. “F-Fine.” He wiped his eyes.

I took his hand. “Ready to go home?”

He nodded again. “Y-yeah.”

I was silently fuming for not being able to tell him about Nicole when he was like this, but I drove him home and turned the TV on so he wouldn’t be torturing himself once again.

“S-Sorry for being like this.” He stammered. “Is there a-anything you want me to do?”

“It’s okay Bren.” I assured.

“I’ll do the dishes.” He murmured, trudging to the kitchen.

“Thanks Brendon.” I grinned.

I went back to Nicole’s room and she was still working on something.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Assignment.” She answered simply.

“What subject?”

“English.” She sighed.

“I’m taking that you don’t enjoy english very much.”

“Not really. I just suck at it.”

“I see. Is the assignment hard?”

“To me, yeah. It’s an essay. Well, and speech.”

“That sounds boring. Oh well, best of luck with it then.”

“Thanks, I suppose.”

I walked back out to the kitchen, where I found Brendon crying on the floor.

I rushed over to him. “What’s wrong Bren? Are you okay?”

“I-I-” He tried to say desperately, before just throwing his arms around me and crying into my shoulder.

“It’s okay Brendon. You’ll be okay.” I assured.

“I-I don’t d-deserve to b-be okay!” He sobbed.

“Yes you do Brendon, I promise. You totally deserve it.”

He shook his head. “N-No I d-don’t! I k-killed them Sarah!”

“You didn’t kill them Bren. The person driving the other car did. It’s not your fault.”

He just burst into another round of tears.

I held him tight. “You’ll be okay Brendon.”

“Why are you crying Daddy?”

“You know how you cry when you get hurt Jax? That’s what’s happening. Daddy’s hurt.”

He joined the hug. “Do you want me to kiss it better?”

Brendon shook his head.

“I think your cuddles are helping though Jax.”

Jaxon smiled and continued what he was doing.

Brendon stop crying and resorted to sniffles. “I-I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay Bren.” I assured.

He took a few deep breaths and was almost completely calm. He picked Jax up and sat him in his lap. “Thanks bud.” Brendon snuggled with him.

I smiled slightly. “You’re such a good Dad.”

He sprouted a little smile. “If you say so.”

“I’m going to make dinner.” I said. “Call me if you need me.”

“Alright, sounds good.” Brendon carried Jaxon out to the lounge room.

I walked into the kitchen to start, only to find Nicole already there, browning off some chicken and flicking through a cookbook.

“Want any help?”

She shook her head. “I’ve got it."

“If you say so. I’m here if you need.”

She nodded and went back to cooking.

I walked back out and say Brendon and Jaxon watching cartoons or something and they were all snuggled up.

“Hey guys.” I smiled as I sat down.

“Hey Mommy!” Jaxon smiled.

“Weren’t you going to make dinner?” Brendon asked.

“Nicole’s making it already.”

“Okay. We’re watching Ninja turtles. Want to join us?”

“I will in a second, I just need to have a chat with you Bren.”

Brendon sensed the seriousness in my voice. “Everything okay?”

“It’s just about Nicole…”

He shuffled out of Jaxon’s grip and followed me out of the room. “What’s going on?”

I handed him the notes she’d given me earlier.

He read over them, and I watched his facial expression change from confusion, to worry, to fury. 

“NICOLE!” He shouted.

I flinched at the volume of his voice.

She nervously scurried into the room. “Y-You called?” She whispered.

“What is this?!” Brendon attacked.

“I-I’m sorry!” She cried, backing away slightly.

“Bren, please, calm down.” I whispered.

“Do you seriously think this is acceptable!?”

She shook her head and seized up slightly.

“Brendon, please!” I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him back.

Nicole was a crying mess in the corner.

“No child of mine is to act like this! Ever!”

“Y-Yes sir, sorry sir…” She whispered.

Brendon went to say something else, but he couldn’t find the words, so he just grunted threateningly before storming to the studio and slamming the door.

Nicole sat there, still terrified.

“He didn’t mean it, he’s just a little angry at the moment…” I murmured, helping her up.

She nodded unsurely, as if she didn’t believe me.

“This is sort of, er, the first sort of thing like this we’ve had to deal with as parents, so we’re a little inexperienced.”

“S-Sorry for making y-you mad….”

“It’s okay. Just, we’ll figure out what to do. Is something burning?”

She raced back into the kitchen and I heard a lot of clattering, followed by a few sobs. 

“Nicole?” I asked as I walked in.

“I can’t do anything right today.” She cried.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I j-just burnt the f-food. I-I’m fine.”

I noticed the burnt chicken. “That’s okay. Everyone burns the chicken from time to time.”

“I have literally done nothing right today.”

“It’s fine Nicole, honestly.” I assured.

She just walked away into her bedroom.

I sighed and began cleaning the pan.

After about an hour, Brendon reemerged.

“Better?” I asked.

He sighed, but nodded.

“Calmer?”

“I believe so.” 

“Okay. Well, I think you owe Nicole an apology for scaring her half to death.”

“Yeah, probably…” He mumbled. He walked past me and grabbed his medication out.

“I’m going to re-make dinner. You go do that.”

He took a deep breath in. “Okay.”

Brendon left as I just made some simple pasta sauce for everyone. It wasn’t going to be as grand as Nicole’s plan, but it was food.

“Dinner’s ready!” I called. Brendon came out carrying Jaxon but Nicole was nowhere to be found. 

“Where’s Nicole?” I asked.

He shrugged. “She was in her room last. That’s probably where.”

“Didn’t you go and see her?”

“Yeah but after I finished I came back out and talked to Jax.”

“Can you go get her?”

He nodded and got up from his seat. I expected him to come out with Nicole but he just shrugged as he sat back down.

“What is it?” I asked.

“She just refuses to come out.”

I sighed and got up from my seat. “I’ll try.”

I walked into her room and found her just curled up under the bedsheets.

“What’s wrong Nicole?”

“Everything. And if you’re trying to get me to come out, it’s not going to work.”

“Nicole, come on. Jax is wondering where you are.”

“I don’t care.” She muttered.

“At least come and eat something.”

She shook her head. “I’m not eating.”

I gave up. “Fine. See you in the morning Nicole.”

“Bye.” She said coldly.

I closed the door and walked back to the dinner table with a sigh.

“What's up?” Brendon asked, helping Jaxon finish his food.

“Nicole’s gone to bed.”

“Oh, okay.”

I started eating my dinner. “We have the most troubled family of anyone I’ve ever met.”

He nodded silently.

I quickly finished and took the plates to the kitchen. “I’m just going to go to bed Bren. I think I just want to fall asleep and forget today ever happened.”

“That’s fine. Sleep well.”

I gave him a final hug before I headed off to the bedroom.


	15. Chapter 14 - Even When I Doubt You, I can’t Live Without You

*******Brendon’s Point Of View******

“Look, Bren, I know your parents have it all sorted but I really don’t think you should go. What if you have an episode or something?!” Sarah stated.

I sighed and shook my head. “I’m not going to have an episode Sarah. I’ll be fine.” I assured.

“So you’re just going to fly to Vegas and abandon me for two weeks?”

“Don’t put it like that.” I groaned. “I’m just going to have some family time. And I’m not going to abandon you. I’ll still call and text you and everything.”

“I bet Kaitlyn’s going to love it when she finally gets out of rehab and her father isn’t there.”

“Well I’m sorry! I’ll do anything to possibly benefit me again!” I snapped, frustrated. “Silly me to think you cared!”

Sarah groaned. “Look, I’m sorry Bren. I just, I don’t think this is a good idea. What makes your parent’s any more suited to taking care of you than me?”

“They took care of me when it was the worst, before we even realised something was wrong. Before we had the pleasure of medication. They know what they’re doing.”

Sarah sighed. “Okay Bren. Okay.”

I wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you so much!”

She pressed a kiss to my cheek. “As long as you come back.”

“Of course I’ll come back! I love you too much to leave you.”

She smiled slightly. “I love you so much Bren.”

“I love you more.”

She giggled. “No, I love you more.”

“Can’t prove it!” I grinned, pulling her in and giving her a kiss.

She laughed and kissed me back. “I love you so much Brendon.”

“I love you too Sarah.”

She looked over my suitcase. “So everything’s packed?”

I nodded. “I think so.”

She looked a bit sad. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going I’m going to miss you too Sarah. But I promise I’ll talk to you whenever I can.”

She nodded glumly. “I know, it just won’t be the same…”

“Well at least it's only two weeks. It's not like I'm tour where I'm away for ages. It'll fly by.”

She sighed. “If you say so Bren.”

“I promise. Would I lie to you about something like this?”

She paused. 

I simply sighed. “The answer is no. I promise, I’ll be back in no time.”

She sighed finally. “Do you want something to eat before your Mom and Dad pick you up?”

I nodded. “May as well.”

“What do you want? I want you to leave on a happy note.”

“I’ll be happy with anything.”

“Well, What’s your favourite then?”

I shrugged. “You choose.”

She sighed. “Fine.”

I frowned, feeling bad for making her frustrated.

She threw me a bag of twizzlers. “Here.”

I grinned. “Thanks.”

She half-smiled. “You should probably go and spend some time with Jax before you go. I think he’s going to really miss his TV buddy.”

I nodded. “I’ll go now.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

I walked into the bedroom and found him watching Nicole. She was sitting on the bed, doing some work. Jaxon seemed intrigued.

I sat down on the bed. “What’s up?”

“Nikki’s doing Maths!”

“Oh. Uh, interesting…”

“There’s lots of symbols and stuff.”

“Do you like that Jax?”

He nodded. “It looks like fun!”

Nicole groaned. “It’s not fun, Jax.”

“Why do you say that? Counting is fun!”

“Yeah, but this is quadratic equations, not counting.”

He looked confused. “What’s that?”

She sighed. “Just, don’t worry.”

“So I’m going away for a little while guys.” I announced nervously.

Jaxon frowned. “Don’t leave Daddy!”

“I have to bud, sorry. But I’ll be back in two weeks.”

“I don’t want you to leave!” He cried.

I hugged him. “I’m sorry bud.”

“Will you come back?” He sniffled.

I nodded. “Of course.”

“I’m going to miss you Daddy.”

“I’m going to miss you too bud.”

He snuggled into me. “I’m going to miss your snuggles the most.” He whispered.

“Well, let’s make the most of now then.” I assured, holding him close.

I honestly thought he was going to fall asleep but he eventually pulled away and looked up at me. “How long are you going to be gone Daddy?”

“Two weeks.”

“Two weeks!?” He echoed, shocked.

“It’ll go by sooner than you think. And I’ll call you on the phone so you can tell me about what you’ve been doing.”

He started crying again.

“Oh, Jax, please don’t cry bud. I promise, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Don’t go!” He pleaded.

“Sorry bud, but I have to.”

“P-Please?”

“Sorry Jax.”

He pushed himself away and cuddled up to Nicole.

“I’m trying to do homework Jax…” She murmured, pushing him away.

“I-I’m sorry…” He whispered.

I tried to hug him again. “Do you want to go watch some TV?”

He shook his head.

“What do you want to do then?”

“I’ll just lay here.” 

“Do you want some twizzlers?”

He shook his head again.

I sighed. “Are you sure lying here is what you want to do bud?”

He shrugged. “Can’t do much else.”

“Well, why don’t we go see Mommy?”

He shrugged. “If you want to.”

I scooped him up and took him out to the kitchen, where Sarah was making lunch.

“Hey Jax!” She smiled.

Jaxon just grunted in response.

“Whatcha making?” I asked curiously.

“Just some sandwiches. Don’t feel like making anything fancy.”

“Cool.” I shrugged as I sat down.

She nodded. “It’s almost done.”

“That’s cool.”

“What do you want Jaxon?” She asked.

He shrugged silently.

“Peanut butter okay?”

He shrugged once again.

Sarah sighed. “What  _ is  _ wrong Jaxon?”

“Daddy’s leaving.” He pouted.

Sarah nodded. “We’re going to have to do some really cool things while he’s away.”

“Like what?” He mumbled.

“Well, I was thinking, we could go to Disneyland.”

His eyes lit up. “Really?”

Sarah smiled. “Uh huh. With Kaity and Nikki, we’ll all go.”

“Yay!” He cheered.

I pouted. “I’m jealous.”

“That’s what you get for leaving!” He stuck his tongue out at me.

I sighed. “I’m going to miss you guys.”

“I’m going to miss you too Daddy!” Jaxon assured.

I smiled at him. “I think I’m going to miss you more.”

He considered for a moment before shaking his head. “Not possible.”

I laughed. “I think it is.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head again. “I’ll always miss you more Daddy!”

I tackled him a hug. “But you’ll never miss me as much as I miss you.”

He snuggled up into me. “When are you going?”

“When Grandma and Grandad get here.”

“When’s that?” He looked up to me.

I looked at the clock. “In about 10 minutes.”

He frowned. “That’s like, no time at all!”

“Well, what do you want to do before I go then?”

“Can we just cuddle?”

I smiled and carried him to the couch. “Sure bud.

He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder.

“This is nice…” He murmured.

I nodded. “It is very nice.”

The doorbell rang.

Jaxon started crying again and gripped onto me.

“Hey Brenny Boo! Oh, Jaxy, baby what’s wrong?” Mom asked.

“I don’t w-want Daddy to leave.” He whimpered, tightening his grip.

“Daddy needs to come with us so he can get better Jaxy. When he comes home he’ll be so much better and will be able to spend much more time with you.”

Jaxon wouldn’t let go. “T-Take me with you?”

“Sorry bud.” I apologised, squirming out of his grip.

He curled up on the couch and started sobbing.

I turned to my Mom. “Is it too late to stay here?”

She nodded. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. Sarah will take care of him.”

I frowned. “But it’s me he wants…”

“Well, I don’t know what to suggest, but you’re coming no matter what.”

I sighed. “Fine. Let’s just go then.”

I took one last look at Jaxon, who Nicole was desperately trying to calm down before I went outside.

Mom and Dad had the rental car all packed. “Ready to come home Brendon?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I answered half-heartedly.

Mom hugged me. “It’ll be good for you, I promise.”

I nodded. “I know, it’s just leaving is so hard.”

“I know. But it’ll make coming back all the better.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Enough chit chat, we’re going to miss our flight.” Dad said sternly.

We all started on the trip to the airport. I spent the entire trip just thinking in silence about basically everything.

“Everything okay Brenny?” Mom asked.

I snapped out of my daze. “Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking.”

“We’re here.”

I followed my parents through the airport while I tried to work out why I was scared. I’d been on planes before! This anxiety was stupid!

“You alright Brenny? You’ve been kinda quiet.” 

I nodded. “I’ll be fine, I guess.”

She wrapped an arm around me.

I smiled slightly. 

“Now boarding H 783. Please make your way to Gate 4.”

I quickly glanced down at my ticket and then my parents. Of course I was far away. I sighed and headed toward the gate.

“IS THAT BRENDON URIE?!” Someone called.

I froze, as did my parents.

“IT IS!” Someone else shouted.

I didn’t want to seem rude and walk away but I truly wasn’t ready for an encounter.

“Brendon, what do you do when this happens?” Mom whispered.

I shrugged. “I don’t remember…”

The girl ran up to me. “Oh my god I LOVE YOU!”

I chuckled awkwardly. “Thanks? That’s awesome to hear.”

She hugged me without any warning. “You feel just like I imagined you would.”

“Umm, okay?” I responded, slightly confused.

She just snuggled into me, and I stood there like a statue, not sure what to do.

“I’ve, uh...I’ve kinda got to go.” I stated unsurely.

She looked up at me. “What flight?”

“Uh, the one that’s boarding now?”

“OMG me too! Let’s go!”

I just remained silent and made my way to the gate,

Mom and Dad and I had our tickets checked, and we sat down. Mom and Dad had a row to themselves, but I was one row behind. I was wondering who my seatmate was going to be.

“No way!” I heard a voice say.

I glanced up at the isle to see where the remark had come from.

I forced a weak smile as the girl from before got seated beside me.

“Who would’ve guessed we’d be sitting together?!” She grinned.

I shrugged. “I guess you’re just lucky.”

“Right now, I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

“I guess so.” I murmured, taking my phone and headphones out.

“Whatcha listening to?” She asked, trying to peer over at my screen.

“Just, stuff.” I mumbled, putting my phone into my pocket.

“I loved your new single. I think it’s great.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you working on a new album?”

“Maybe?” I shrugged.

She looked so excited. “Really? When’s the release date? Can I listen to some demos? What’s it called? Is the cover art cool?”

I shrugged. “I’m not that far into it yet. It mightn’t even happen.”

“Oh… Well that’s okay…I mean, take your time I guess...” 

I leaned back into the chair and got comfortable, making a plan to fall asleep as soon as I could.

“Wanna watch a movie with me?”

I shook my head. “No thanks.”

She pouted. “Please?”

“Well, I’m just a bit tired and was planning to sleep...”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“You enjoy it though.”

She smiled slightly and opened her laptop.

I eventually fell asleep to some random song I wasn’t paying attention to.

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

“Hey Bub!”

I raced forward into Sarah’s embrace. “H-Hi.”

Turns out they have visiting days at rehab, but only for the under 18s.

“How have you been?”

“I w-wanna come home.” I answered.

“I know bub, I know.”

“Can w-we go then?”

She shook her head. “I want to though.”

I pouted. “Wh-Why did you come then?”

“I haven’t seen you in awhile bub. I miss you.”

“So d-do I…”

“So, shall we go to your room? It’s a little crowded in here.”

“I-If you want to…”

Sarah followed me down the hall to my room. She wrinkled her nose up as she stepped inside.

“It smells.”

“Yeah, sorry…”

Sarah sat down on the chair. “So how are you going with everything?”

I shrugged. “It’s slow. And boring.”

“Well, apparently you’ve been hiding in here all the time. You can’t really say it’s boring when you’re choosing to make it that way.”

I frowned. “I-I don’t like talking to p-people…”

“I know bub, but you sort of have to…”

I looked down. “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, but you have to try.”

“I-I can’t…”

“Why not?” Sarah asked.

“I-It’s scary…” I whimpered.

Sarah sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Okay. Well, um, other than that, how have you been?”

“I-I don’t know…”

She nodded awkwardly, letting the silence engulf us.

“W-where’s Dad?”

“Um… your father had to go away from a little while…”

“Oh….” I murmured. “Is he o-okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, he’s gone to spend some time with his Mom and Dad in Vegas for a couple of weeks.”

“Oh, okay.” I relaxed a little bit.

Sarah wrinkled her nose up again. “Can we open the window? It  _ really  _ smells in here.”

I nodded. “If you want to.”

She opened the window, letting some fresh air in. “It’s better already.”

“Sorry about the state of the place…” I apologised. “I don’t really notice it.”

Sarah was already re-folding my clothes. “It’s okay bub.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I’m just doing a bit of spot cleaning. It’s fine.”

“You don’t have to do that...I’m supposed to keep the place clean.”

“Well, I just want to. Don’t worry.”

“I’m good at worrying though…” I frowned.

Sarah finished with my clothes and sat down. “Well, it’s all done now.”

“I feel bad. You shouldn’t have to clean up”

“Please bub, don’t feel bad. Look, let’s talk about something else.” 

“L-Like what?”

She shrugged. “Well, what have you been doing in here?”

“Talking to June.”

Sarah had this strange, pained expression on her face.

“W-What’s wrong?”

“Gosh… I don’t really know how to put this bub…”

“Just say it.” I muttered. “I feel like I already know what you’re going to say.”

“Kaitlyn, June isn’t real.”

“Well at least she was there when everyone else was too busy to care.” I murmured angrily.

“She’s not real Kaitlyn… she’s a figment of your imagination.”

“I don’t care. Real or not, she’s better than anyone else I’ve met.”

Sarah bit her lip awkwardly.

I huffed and turned away from her,

“Kaitlyn, please…”

I shook my head. “Feel free to leave.”

I felt her put a hand on my shoulder. “Look bub, if talking to um,  _ June  _ makes you happy, then I suppose it’s okay.”

“No it’s not, because  _ she’s not real _ !” I mocked.

“Please, I’m trying Kaitlyn…”

“Trying to what? Make me feel like crap?!”

“No, I’m trying to have a conversation, but you keep getting angry!”

“Oh, yes, because I’m sure being here would make you so damn happy!”

Sarah just sighed and sat back down. “Why are you mad at me?”

“Because you abandon me here, at at hellhole and come back expecting everything to be fine! It’s not fine!”

“Kaitlyn, I’m so sorry that I left you here. I’m honestly trying to help you. If your father had told me about his wonderful little late night sessions… I honestly don’t think this would’ve happened. But it’s a bit late now. You’ve only got a week left anyway, you’ll be home soon.”

“Home, at the group home hopefully.”

Sarah sighed. “Really?”

“At least they don’t pretend to care there.”

Sarah looked honestly upset. “What do you want from me Kaitlyn? Do you want me to say I’m sorry? Because I already did that. What can I do to make you happy?”

“Nothing can make me happy Sarah.”

She sighed. “Anything to make you less angry?”

“Stop pretending stupid things like this and the institution will fix me.”

Sarah stood up. “Fine. Bye Kaitlyn.”

“W-What?”

“Didn’t you want me to leave?”

“N-No, don’t leave!” I panicked.

She slowly sat back down. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

I took a deep breath in. “Th-thanks.”

Sarah nodded. “Been doing much drawing while you’re here?”

I shrugged. “A little bit.”

“Can I see?”

I hesitantly pulled out my sketchbook and handed it to her.

She flicked through the drawings. “Wow, Kaitlyn. These are… interesting…”

“I-I guess so…”

“Who’s this?” She asked, pointing to my drawing of June.

“That’s June…”

“Oh… why does she have purple hair?”

“Cause that’s just how she looks.”

“Okay. That’s cool I guess.”

“I guess.”

She flicked through a couple more pages, before putting my sketchbook down. “Cool.”

“Thanks, I suppose.”

She half-smiled. “Do you want to go out and see everyone else? I know it’s scary, but I’ll be there, and we can maybe meet some people so you’re not cooped up in here all the time.”

I shook my head. “I don’t want to panic or something in front of them.”

“If you do then we can just come back.”

I shook my head. I was getting on edge just thinking about it.

“Come on bub, It’ll be better than you think. I promise.”

“I-I can’t.” I whispered, curling up.

She took my hand. “Of course you can bub.”

I looked down as she essentially dragged me out of the room.

“S-Sarah I w-wanna go b-back…” I stuttered as I looked at the crowd.

“Come on bub, we’re almost there.”

I pulled away and started running back. I was stupid to even go this far.

“Kaitlyn!” Sarah grabbed my shoulder and stopped me. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“”P-Please don’t make me go!” I cried.

She sighed. “Kaitlyn, just, come talk to one person. One person. That’s all I’m asking.”

I shook my head. “P-Please let me g-go back…”

She sighed again finally. “Alright. Fine.”

I walked back to my room, not paying much attention as to where Sarah was. I curled up under the bedsheets and tried to calm down.

“Kaitlyn, all you did was look at them.” Sarah sighed, pulling the bedsheets off me. “You’re okay bub.”

“I-I’m sorry…” I whimpered.

Sarah sat down next to me and put an arm around me. “It’s okay bub.”

“No it’s not!” I cried. “I can’t do anything right!”

She gently stroked my hair as I started crying, not really saying anything in reply.

“I-I just want to d-do something to m-make you proud.” I whispered.

“You make me so proud all the time Kaitlyn.” Sarah responded. “Those drawings? They’re amazing. I don’t know anyone else  _ nearly  _ as talented as you are. Every time you do something that makes you nervous, every time you push yourself that little bit further, that makes me so, so incredibly proud.”

“I-I’m sorry I couldn’t d-do it this time…”

“It’s okay Kaitlyn. I know that it’s hard.”

I took a deep breath in. “Shall we try again?”

“A-Are you sure?” Sarah sounded a little startled.

I nodded. “YOLO, right?” I cringed at that phrase.

Sarah smiled encouragingly and took my hand. “Let’s go then.”

We walked back out and I was still nervous, as evident by my repetitive squeezing of Sarah’s hand. We walked and there were tonnes of people all packed in here.

“O-oh boy…” I murmured, hoping Sarah would lead the conversation.

She took me over to a young girl, slightly younger than me, even who was sitting and tracing the patterns on the floor.

“Oh, hi.” She murmured.

“Hi…” I mumbled in return.

“Lillian. You?”

“Kaitlyn.”

“That’s a cool name. What are you up to?”

“Just standing around I guess…”

She shrugged. “Not much else to do, truthfully.”

I nodded. “Y-Yeah…”

“What do you like doing?”

“Not much…”

“So there’s  _ nothing _ you like doing?”

“D-Drawing?” I suggested nervously.

“That’s cool.” She smiled.

I smiled unsurely and sat down next to her. “What about you?”

“I like drumming. It’s fun and very loud.”

“My Dad likes drumming…”

“Awesome!” She grinned.

I shrugged. “It’s cool, I guess.”

“Does your dad play anything else?”

“Lots of things. Um, guitar, piano, drums, ukulele…” I trailed off, realising how little I actually knew about musical instruments.

“Wow. Your dad seems pretty awesome.”

I smiled slightly. “He’s pretty cool.”

“I suppose that’s where your coolness has come from.”

I felt my cheeks go bright red.

“It’s true.” She shrugged.

“But a-all I’ve done in the two minutes that I’ve been here is talk in short sentences and stutter of every third word or so….”

She shrugged again. “I used to be the exact same.”

“So why’d you change?”

“It just happened.” 

“Weird.”

She nodded. “Very.”

“So… what do you want to do?”

“I honestly don’t know…”

Sarah tapped my shoulder, distracting me from the conversation. “Bub, I um, I have to go now.”

I frowned slightly. “Oh...o-okay…” I whispered.

She hugged me tightly. “I’ll be back next week.”

I nodded. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

She smiled and hugged me one last time before leaving.

“Your Mom?” Lillian asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. She’s nice.”

“You were hugging, so I assumed that.”

I giggled nervously. “Yeah…”

“Want to go and do something?” She asked. “There’s board games in the common room.”

“Sounds good.” I answered.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“Brendon, come on. We’re here.” Dad urged. I’d fallen asleep again on the car ride to the house.

I groaned. “But I’m tired!”

“You can sleep inside where it’s more comfortable. I’ll take you to the room and you can go to bed if you want.”

I heaved myself out of the car, greeted by my childhood home. “Okay Dad…” I mumbled.

He led me to the bedroom and he carried all my stuff in for me. “Get comfy.”

I immediately crawled into the bed. “Thanks”

“Goodnight.” He smiled before pulling the door shut.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

I found myself back in the car, frozen in terror. I couldn’t pull myself out of the dream, no matter how hard I tried. I wasn’t driving though. I was just watching. I saw the black car and started panicking.

“Change lanes! Please!” I begged.

Young Brendon changed lanes. I thought we were safe. I saved them!

“Kaitlyn!” Damien screamed.

Once again, the black car slammed into us. 

I looked around and not only say Damien and Lydia blood covered, causing me to scream, but Kaitlyn was thrown out of the car.

I felt someone shaking me back to reality, trying to get me out of my head. 

“Brendon, please! Just wake up!” I heard Dad beg. 

I woke up, shaking, terrified and sweating due to the immense fear. 

He wrapped me in a hug. “You’re okay, I promise.” He assured.

I grabbed onto him and cried into his shoulder. “I’m never going to sleep again!” I whimpered.

“That’s okay Brendon.” He said gently.

He wrapped the blanket around me and I curled up on the bed. I thought back to the dream and started losing my breath. I began hyperventilating. 

“Brendon, breathe. In and out.”

I tried to follow his direction but ended up worse. I felt my face getting hot. Dad rushed out of the room. He returned with my medication and tried to help me take them but I ended up choking.

He ended up lying me down and trying to help me breath that way. It didn’t help at all.

I was crying and out of breath and it was honestly the worst I had felt in quite some time.

“Grace!” Dad called. 

Mom raced in and came to my side.

“I-I just want it a-all to go away.” I whimpered.

“Oh Brenny… Have you had your medication?”

I shook my head. “I-I couldn’t s-swallow before…”

“Boyd, go get it. I’ll sit here with him.” She instructed.

“I-I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“No, no, don’t be sorry.” She assured

“I-I just got here.”

“I know, and that means that we’re only getting better Brendon. We’ll help you.”

I ran out of things to say. I just stayed and cried in her arms.

“Oh my baby…” She murmured, stroking my hair. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“Th-thanks for helping m-me…”

She pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Anything for you Bren.”

Dad came back into the room with my medication and some water.

“Here, Brendon. Take these.”

“Thanks Dad.” I sniffled, taking the medication quickly.

“That should help.” He assured.

I nodded hopefully.

“Do you want anything else?” Dad asked.

I shook my head. “No thanks. You’ve already done too much.”

“Do you want us to stay or do you want to go back to sleep?” Mom asked.

“I don’t think I can fall back asleep.” I admitted truthfully.

“Just come out and watch TV then.”

I nodded. “Sounds good.”

He led me out to the lounge and switched the TV on, before taking my Mom to the kitchen to talk.

I sat awkwardly in the silence, not sure of what to do. I found myself uninterested in the program and switched the TV to a music channel to hopefully entertain myself.

The music news was on, and I leaned back in my chair, hoping to learn about the latest drug scandal of some musician or something. However, that was not what I saw.

_ And now to our next headline: Does Panic! At The Disco’s fabulous frontman have children that we don’t know about? _

My eyes widened slightly and I turned the TV up to make sure I was hearing right. How’d they find out? Maybe it’s just a conspiracy? Yeah. It’ll just blow over, right?

Then they started showing pictures. Presumably taken by the Paparazzi, there was Jaxon and Nicole, and then Sarah and me and Kaitlyn.

“No, no! God dammit!” I muttered.

“So now we ask, what is he keeping from us?” The presenter asked the TV audience.

“You don’t want to know.” I murmured, as if they could hear me.

Dad walked into the room. “Are you on the TV again son?”

“Sadly.”

“What is it this time?”

“They found out about the kids.” I murmured, laying my head in my hands in defeat.

“Wait, seriously?!”

I nodded. “Pictures and everything.”

“Brendon are they stalking you? Do we need to call your lawyer?”

“I don’t know!” I snapped, frustrated. 

Dad sat down next to me. “Look, your Mom and I have been talking, and we want you to start seeing Dr Abel again.”

I shook my head. “I’m fine now, see? I don’t have to go!” I tried to convince.

“Brendon, it’s been decided.”

“No it hasn’t!” I protested. “I’m not going!”

“It has Brendon, and he’s agreed to fit you in this afternoon. So unless you want to inconvenience everybody, you’re going.”

“There’s no need to go though Dad! It’d be a waste!” I argued.

“Brendon, you need to go.” He said firmly.

I sighed. “You really want to ruin this visit for me, don’t you?”

“My intention is to help you get better.”

“Good luck.” I muttered, getting up and heading back to the bedroom.

“Brendon come back.” He sighed.

“What?” I asked, becoming annoyed.

“Come sit with us, okay? We would prefer it if you weren’t alone.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you’re our son, Brendon, and we love you.”

I sighed and flopped back onto the couch. “Happy?”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

“I might just get my laptop and do some work…” I murmured, getting back up.

“Okay. Come back though.”

I nodded. “Of course.”

I disappeared into my room and found my laptop, before heading back out to the lounge and putting my headphones on.

I didn’t mean to ignore my parents, but I quickly got sucked in and couldn’t break my concentration.

After about an hour, my Dad tore my headphones off. “Come on, it’s time to go to Dr Abel’s.”

I sighed before shutting down my laptop, putting it away and putting some shoes on. I met with Dad at the front door.

“Are you ready Brendon?”

“Not really, but let’s go.” 

He led me out to the car and drove me to a familiar building that I hadn’t been in for many years.

“Nice to know absolutely nothing has changed.” I muttered.

“Let’s go in.” Dad said, opening the door and getting out.

I followed him inside, all while heavily contemplating just walking away.

We reached the reception and the receptionist gave me a survey on my feelings to fill out as I sat down.

“This is stupid.” I made sure to inform Dad. “Really, really stupid.” 

“Brendon, you have diagnosed PTSD, Depression and ADHD. Getting help for those problems is not stupid.”

“It is when I don’t need it.” 

“But you need it right now.”

“No I don’t!” I argued.

“Brendon! Yes you do! Now fill out the damn survey!” He snapped.

I curled up a little bit and finished filling out the survey.

Eventually, Dr Abel walked out. He smiled slightly when he saw me, and called me through to his office.

I was still a bit shaken up from Dad’s snapping, but sat down silently where Dr Abel directed.

“It’s been a while Brendon.” He stated as he prepared his notepad.

“Yeah, it has, I suppose.” I murmured.

“How are you, first of all?”

“Okay, I guess.” 

“That’s good. How does it feel to be home?”

“Good, except for all this stupid therapy business.” 

“Why do you say that? Aren’t you glad to see me?”

“Yes and no…” I murmured.

He sighed. “Well it’s going to help you.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Sure.” 

“Let’s talk about life in LA. I’ve been trying to stay updated, but the last I heard was you were back in the institution. So, care to bring me up to speed?”

“Well I’ve been trying to recover from the relapse but it’s slow and frustrating so I’ve almost sort of given up at this point.” 

“I see.” He murmured. “And how are you going with the child?”

“Kaitlyn?” I asked, before shrugged. “She’s alright. Probably not the  _ best _ influence though.” 

“What do you mean?”

“ Well I heard her talking to someone in the middle of the night, right? And well she was taking drugs and stuff and I joined in because, well, why not?” 

“So Kaitlyn has a drug problem?”

I nodded. “She’s actually in rehab…” 

“I see. And how are you dealing with this?”

“Well I feel really guilty because I let Sarah send her there...” 

“And why did you feel guilty?”

“Because I was doing them too and nothing happened to me.” 

“Right, I see. Has Kaitlyn brought this up with you?”

I shook my head. “I haven’t seen her since she got admitted where she basically disowned us as parents.” 

“And how did you feel about that?”

“Are you going to keep asking that question?” 

“Yes.”

“Can I leave then?” 

“You have to stay until the session is up, Brendon.”

I sighed. “I’m not talking though.” 

“Well, then this would be a waste of both our time. Brendon, you’re here to get better for yourself and for your family. I want you to do so. And for it to happen, you need to talk.”

“Well I’m not. I’m happy to waste time. There’s no reason for me to be here anyway.” 

“Yes there is. Your mother told me on the phone you had a nightmare this morning.”

“Yeah, and?” 

“Let’s talk through that, shall we?”

“Let’s not.” 

“Let’s. What was in your nightmare?”

“The crash.” I stated simply.

“An exact re-enactment or different in some aspects?”

“Slightly different.” 

“In what ways?”

“Well it seems like I was watching the whole thing as like, another person and then Kaitlyn also died.

“I see. And what did you think about it?”

“It was absolutely terrifying. I don’t really want to go back to sleep.” 

Dr Abel nodded. “Do you get night terrors often?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I guess. One every few days. They aren’t always that bad though.” 

He nodded. “Okay. And how do you normally deal with these?”

“If they aren’t too bad, I’ll try to just take a few deep breaths and fall asleep. Sometimes Sarah has to console me and I have to take emergency medication for the really bad ones.” 

“I see. So most nights they aren’t severe?”

I nodded. “That’s correct.” 

“And on average, how many nights a week would this happen?”

“3 or 4?” 

He nodded. “Okay.”

“That’s probably not good, is it?” 

“Not necessarily, but we’ll talk about this more tomorrow.”

I sighed. “Can I leave then?” 

“We still have 26 minutes left.”

“That’s so long!” I complained. “And I’m terribly bored.” 

“Well, talk to me then. How is Sarah?”

“She’s good. Pregnant, actually, so yeah.” 

“Really? Wow. Are you excited for the baby?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Still very nervous about the whole thing.” 

“Why’s that?”

“I just don’t want to mess up.” 

“Do you think that you’re going to mess up?”

I nodded. “There’s just so many things that could go wrong.” 

“Do you believe that they’re going to go wrong Brendon?”

“Sort of, yeah.” I admitted..

“What things do you imagine will go wrong?”

“I don’t know, forgetting things,not being prepared.”

“And what do you think will happen if those things do happen?”

I shrugged. “Sarah will probably get mad at me.”

“And is that the worst thing?”

“I can’t think of much else.” I stated.

“So the worst thing that could possibly happen is Sarah gets mad at you?”

“I guess?”

“And why are you so scared of that?”

“I just really don’t like making people mad.”

“Why’s that Brendon?”

“I feel like I do it too often”. I admitted, 

“So, what I’m hearing is you’re nervous to do something that you already feel you’re doing too much?”

“Yeah? It doesn’t make sense, I know.”

Dr Abel smiled slightly. “So if it doesn’t make sense, why do you believe it?”

I shrugged. “I just do.”

“Think a bit about this overnight, today’s session is over. I’ll see you tomorrow Brendon.”

“Bye.” I said before walking out to regroup with Dad.

Dad was sitting in the waiting room, watching the fishtank with a bit too much concentration.

“Can we go home?” I asked,

“We have to drop by the supermarket first, but yes.”

I sighed. “Fine.”

He threw me the keys. “You drive.”

“W-What, why?”

“Because you’re an adult, Brendon, and my back is playing up again.”

I took a deep breath in. “Alright, let’s go.”

We got to the car and I was still nervous. It felt just like when I was learning to drive. Dad either didn’t care or didn’t notice my nervousness.

“Come on Brendon, we don’t have all day.”

“Sorry, sorry.” I mumbled.

“Well, drive then.”

I apologised once more before actually starting to drive. I was going ridiculously slow and I think it was starting to annoy him.

“What are you doing Brendon?” He sighed.

“D-Driving?” 

“Can you go a bit faster?”

“Uh, y-yeah, I guess.” 

I nervously pressed my foot down on the pedal and the car started moving a tad faster. A felt a nervous drip of sweat go down my forehead.

“Thank you Brendon.” 

I nodded slightly, so he knew I heard but I didn’t want to break my focus to actually formulate a response.

I reached the closest store and parked the car, before getting out as fast as I could.

Dad got out after, a lot slower than myself. “Alright, let’s get this done.” 

“O-Okay…” I murmured.

He handed me a shopping list. “I’ll get a cart.” 

“Sounds good.”

\--------------------------------------------------

We got all the groceries and were taking them out to the car. Once again, Dad handed me the keys.

“Let’s go.” 

“I r-really can’t drive. I’m sorry Dad.” 

He sighed. “Please Brendon? It’s not a long drive.” 

“Exactly, it’s not a long drive. You can manage.” 

“No I can’t Brendon, you need to understand that.” 

“Neither can I!” I told him. “Driving here almost induced an attack on it’s own!”

“Well what are we supposed to do Brendon?”

“P-Please?” I asked, almost begging.

“We can’t just stay here forever Brendon.”

I took the keys nervously and sat down behind the wheel. Dad climbed in beside me and waited for me to do something.

“Just take it easy, okay Brendon?”

“I-I’m not sure a-about this Dad…” I stammered.

“You’ll be okay, I promise.”

I twisted the key in the ignition and felt the engine rumble to live. Immediately I started regretting this decision.

“Alright, that’s a good start.”

“I d-don’t know i-if I can d-do this.”

“Please, just try Brendon.”

I slowly began pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road, where my hands started shaking badly.

He sighed. “Alright, pull over.”

I was frozen. “I d-don’t think I can!”

“Dammit Brendon.” Dad murmured, helping me pull the car over to the side of the road.

“I-I’m Sorry!” I cried.

“No, no it’s fine Brendon.”

“I can’t even drive home!” I wailed.

“That’s okay, calm down.”

I couldn’t control my sobbing, and Dad had to practically pull me from the driver’s seat so he could drive me home.

I continued crying the entire way home and couldn’t bring myself to get out the car once we were home, despite me wanting to so badly.

Mom walked out of the house. “What happened?!”

“I-I-” I tried to answer, before giving up and just curling up on the seat.

“I tried to make him drive.” Dad sighed.

She rushed to my side and helped me out of the car, hoping to calm me down, though it did nothing.

“I-I’m so s-sorry!” I cried.

“It’s okay Bren. It’s okay.” She assured.

I remained a crying heap for quite some time, not finding a way to actually compose myself.

Eventually Mom handed me the phone. “Here, talk to Sarah.”

“H-Hello?” I whispered.

“Hey Bren!” Sarah sounded cheerful. “What’s up?”

“N-Nothing…” I lied.

“Well, it’s something. If you Mom called and asked for me to help you through a breakdown, I know it’s not nothing.”

“I-It’s just….” I started. “Nevermind, it’s n-not important.”

“Tell me Bren, please.”

“I-I just feel useless. I-I couldn’t e-even drive home!” I cried.

“Why couldn’t you Bren?”

“I-I was scared! I don’t k-know Sarah!”

“Shh. Calm down Bren.” She soothed. “Look, it’s all over now. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“I m-made a f-fool of myself!”

“Nobody’s judging you. Not your Mom, Not your Dad, Not me.”

“I am!” I sobbed.

“Why?” She asked.

“Because I always do stupid stuff like this!”

“No you don’t Brendon. And it’s not your fault.”

“Yes I do! I always do!” I wailed.

“Bren, you don’t.” She whispered softly. “You really don’t.”

I took a few deep breaths in and tried to calm down before saying anything else. “If you say so.”

“Are you feeling a bit better?”

“A bit, yeah.” I admitted.

“That’s good. Do you want to speak to Jax? He misses you a lot.”

“Um… sure…” I murmured.

There was quite a bit of ruffling around.

“Daddy?” A small voice answered.

“Hey Jax…”

“Daddy!” I could basically hear his grin through the phone. “Hello!”

I couldn’t help but smile. “How are you bud?”

“I’m alright. A bit lonely without you, but I’m okay. How are you Daddy?”

“I’m okay Jax. Have you and Mom been doing anything cool?”

“We made cookies!”

“What type of cookies?”

“Chocolate chip! The best type!”

“Did you save me some?” I asked.

“Yeah. I did. Mommy says we’re going to make fresh ones for when you get home though.”

“That sounds amazing Jax.” I grinned.

“Yeah! Mommy got new cookie cutters too!”

“What shapes?”

“There’s like a cat one, a doggie one and lots of others. There’s this one music note shaped one. That’s Mommy’s favourite.”

I smiled. “That’s awesome. Look, I’ve got to go, but I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Okay. Have fun Daddy!”

“You too bud. See you later!”


	16. Chapter 15 - I Don’t Play With Meanies

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

“I’m going home tomorrow…” I murmured.

June looked up at me. “That’s cool, I guess.”

“Are you going to come with me?” I asked.

“I don’t know…” She whispered.

“Please!”

“I can’t do anything about it Kaitlyn.”

“But… why?”

She shrugged. “That’s just how it works.”

“But I-I need you!” I panicked.

“I know, and I’m sorry Katilyn, I really am.”

I sat down on the bed. “Then I’m not leaving.”

“The only reason I’m here is because you’re lonely. You won’t be lonely anymore when you go home.”

“B-But I am! I n-need you!”

“Just don’t worry about it right now.”

“I have to!” I panicked. “You can’t just tell me that you’re abandoning me and then expect me not to worry about it!”

“I’ll still be around when you need me.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m so happy to finally leave here though.” I murmured.

“Yeah. This place sucks.”

“It’s going to suck being at home without Dad though…”

“I doubt he’ll be gone long. You don’t have to worry.”

“I know…” I murmured. “I just worry about a lot of things.”

“I know.”

There was a knock at the door.

June quickly hid away.

“C-Come in?”

Melissa walked in. “How is everything?”

“It’s okay, I guess.”

“Ready to go home in the morning?”

I shrugged. “I suppose.”

“You haven’t packed.” She noted.

“I was….busy?”

Melissa sighed. “Do you want some help?”

“If you wouldn’t mind….”

She started folding my clothes that were strewn wildly all over my closet. I dug my bag out from under the bed and began putting everything inside.

“I believe your Mom is coming in early to get you.”

“Early tomorrow?”

She nodded. “So I’ll have to wake you up earlier than usual.”

I frowned. “T-That sucks.”

Melissa shrugged. “You can sleep when you get home.”

“Right…” I murmured.

She put the clothes in the bag, leaving out a pair for tomorrow before closing it up and sitting it by the door.

“T-Thanks.” I whispered.

“It’s fine.” She assured.

I nervously tapped my finger on the bed frame as I waited for her to say something else.

“Is June still around?”

“Yeah… but she’s not coming home with me…” I murmured.

She grimaced slightly. “Maybe it’s for the best?”

I gave her a dirty look.

“Just saying what I think.” She defended.

“June is my friend.” I told her harshly. “And I don’t care what you think about her.”

“I’m aware. It doesn’t matter. There’s nothing I can do about it. That’s Indigo’s job.”

I frowned and folded my arms. “So you think I’m crazy.”

“Yeah, basically.”

“That’s not nice.”

“I’m aware.” She stated.

I curled up into a ball. “You’re not nice.”

“I knew that too.”

“Why?”

She shrugged.

“I-I’m not crazy.” I whispered.

“If you say so…” She sighed.

“A-And June is real…”

“Alright, fine. You  _ clearly _ know everything.”

“S-Sorry.” I whimpered.

“Well I have other people to talk to. Bye Kaitlyn.”

“B-Bye.”

She left without another word, closing the door behind her.

“I can’t believe her. Coming into your room and telling you that you’re the one who’s crazy?! She’s the crazy one!” June remarked.

“Y-yeah, I guess.”

“At least she packed your bag.”

I nodded. “Thankfully.”

“What do you want to do?”

I shrugged. “You decide.”

“Draw?”

“Sounds good.” I affirmed.

*******Sarah’s Point Of View*******

“You do realise how serious this is, right?”

Nicole glumly nodded as she walked me through the school to the meeting with the teachers.

She had been basically silent the entire trip here. I was just frustrated that Brendon left me to do this alone.

“What are they going to tell me?” I asked.

“That I’m a horrible person, basically.”

“No, what are they  _ actually  _ going to tell me? I mean, have you been acting up in class or starting more than one fight or what has been going on?!”

“Look, there’s been a few incidents. Is that what you wanted to hear? That this keeps happening?!”

“I just want to know what they’re going to tell me, Nicole. If I know, and I’m not shocked to hear it from them, then the lesser punishment you’re going to get. I need you to be honest.”

“This has been going on for ages. There’s been a few times people have gotten hurt.”

I sighed. “Okay. Thanks for telling me, I guess.”

We walked into the room we were directed to and sat down.

“Alright. Nicole’s Mom.” The man muttered as he grabbed a file. “Let’s talk.”

I nodded. “Okay. Let’s talk.”

“So you were called in here after the most recent incident, I believe. We’ll start with that.”

I nodded uncertainly. “Okay.”

“So the fight had actually progressed quite a lot before our staff had realised, but it was too violent for them to intervene. This ended up in a student almost hospitalised. From the accounts heard, Nicole was the one who initiated the actual fighting.”

Nicole hung her head.

“Oh...okay. How big was the fight?”

“There were three students involved, though many witnessed it.”

“And was Nicole the only violent one?”

“No, another student was also harming the others involved. Nicole wasn’t the only one. The other student has been put on suspension.”

“R-Right…” I murmured. “Is Nicole also?”

“Since this isn’t the first incident, Nicole is facing potential expulsion, hence why we’ve brought you in.”

“I’m sorry…” Nicole whispered tearfully.

“Oh…” I breathed nervously.

“As you are probably aware, behaviour like this isn’t tolerated. It’s putting other students in danger and terrifying others.”

“I agree completely. This behavior isn’t tolerated by our household, and we can assure you that we will do everything in our power to stop this.”

He nodded. “It seems that the disciplinary actions taken by the school aren’t changing her behaviour at all. For now, she’s going to be on a fortnight suspension. Hopefully that gives you enough time to sort this out.”

I nodded. “It will, I promise.”

“Very well Mrs Urie. You are welcome to leave.”

I dragged Nicole out of the office and was silent all the way home.

“I-I’m sorry…” She whispered.

“Alright. You’re grounded. No TV. No phone. No running in the morning. You can earn these things back when we see an improvement.” I said coldly.

She nodded glumly, not protesting at all.

I held my hand out. “Phone.”

She placed the phone in my hand.

“Also, you have to help out more at home. You will do the dishes every night until your suspension is over. On weekends you can vacuum and mop and tidy the house.”

She nodded once more.

“Good. Now, to your room when we get home. I’ll get you when it’s time for dinner.”

“O-Okay.” She whispered.

We pulled up at the house and Nicole walked inside without a word. I drove back to Gerard’s and picked Jaxon up, before coming home to cook dinner.

“When’s Daddy coming home?” Jaxon asked for the millionth time.

“A week and a half bud.”

“That’s ages away!” He complained.

“I know.” I grumbled.

“I’m boooooooooooored!”

“Do you want me to put the TV on? I’m cooking dinner Jax, I can’t really play right now.”

“The TV’s boring! You’ve been busy all day!” He moped.

“I’m sorry! I can’t do any more than I’m doing!” I defended. “I can’t help you right now!”

“I w-want Daddy.” He whimpered.

“I know Jax. You’ve made me very aware.”

“S-Sorry Mommy…” He murmured, before attempting to go to the bedroom. He tripped and stumbled about halfway before giving up and moping on the floor.

I lifted him up and put him on the couch before turning the TV on. “Here bud.”

He frowned. “There’s no good shows on Mommy!”

“Sorry bud.” I sighed. “Look, I’ll be back soon. I just have to make dinner.”

He huffed. “Meanie.” He stated. “You even made Nikki sad so she won’t play either!”

“Jaxon, please, be quiet.” I murmured. 

He looked up at me before bursting into tears.

“Come on Jax, please, it’ll only be half an hour or so…”

He continued crying.

“I need to get this done. As soon as I’ve finished, I’ll be out here.” I vowed.

He ignored me, so I walked into the kitchen. 

I had almost finished too before I heard a crash. I rushed out and Jaxon was lying on the ground, crying once again.

“Oh Jax, what did you do?” I asked, gently lifting him into a sitting position.

“I-I fell a-and now everything h-hurts!” He cried.

I carried him into the kitchen. “Here bud.”

“I-I bumped i-into the t-table s-so it really hurt!”

I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “There. I kissed it better.”

He sniffled slightly. “Th-thank you.”

“It’s okay bud. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Are you done yet?”

I nodded. “Uh huh. As soon as the (dish) comes out of the oven, we can eat.”

“Then we can play?”

I nodded. “Yep!”

He smiled. “Yay!”

I pulled the dish out of the oven and served it up, before going to find Nicole.

I knocked at the door of the bedroom. She came out silently and sat down at the dining table.

“Hey Nikki!” Jaxon grinned.

“Hi.” She whispered.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing Jax, don’t worry.”

“But you look sad!”

“Don’t worry. Let’s just eat.” 

She shuffled over to Jaxon and started feeding him.

I was silent for the meal, just watching the two of them until it was over. Nicole took the plates and cleaned them before walking back to her room.

“What’s wrong with Nikki?”

“Nikki’s in a lot of trouble Jax.”

“W-Why?”

I sighed. “She’s been starting fights at school.”

“W-Why is she getting in trouble? S-She did that a-at the old school t-too because there were lots of meanies there. She’s like a superhero!”

“No, Jax. Not a superhero. She’s in big trouble because she’s hurting other people.”

He huffed. “You’re t-too strict. N-Nikki is just protecting us!”

“No, she’s not Jax. She’s not protecting you. She almost sent someone to the hospital.”

“She d-didn’t mean to!”

“It doesn’t matter Jaxon, she’s in trouble.”

He huffed again and turned away from me.

“What do you want to play?” I sighed.

“I don’t play with meanies!” He poked his tongue out at me.

“Jaxon Urie, I’m not being mean. I am being fair. She did the wrong thing, and now she’s being punished for it. If you do the wrong thing, then you’ll be punished. I’ll play if you want now, but if not, then it’s only TV until bed.”

“Meanie.” He pouted.

I put him on the couch and put on some reality TV show before walking back to my room to browse the internet.

“Mommy! I’m bored!” He whined.

“I offered to play Jax, and you turned me down.”

“You were being a meanie to Nikki!”

I just sighed and went back to reading the news.

“Can we talk to Daddy?” He asked.

“Daddy’s busy Jax.” I stated. 

Jaxon pulled my phone off the table and started going to calls.

I yanked it out of his hands. “I said no, bud.”

“I wanna talk to Daddy!” He wailed.

“You’re being very naughty too tonight. If you don’t calm down, you’ll be going to bed early.” I warned.

“I just miss Daddy.” He whispered.

“I know. Me too. But that’s no excuse for being naughty.”

“I’m sorry for being naughty Mommy.”

I smiled. “That’s okay. Do you want to play now?”

He nodded. “Can we play with the teddies?”

I pulled the teddies out and sat on the floor with him. “Sure.”

*******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

“So that’s why we believe that it’s best that you should change your medication.” Dad finished.

“I don’t think I should. I’ve had the same stuff for ages.”

“And it’s not working Brendon.” Mom said softly. “So we need a change.”

“It’s working fine.” I defended.

“Do you honestly believe that?” Dad asked, making me question everything I’d said.

“Not really…”

“That’s why we think you should change. This one is still in a trial, but it’s supposedly very good, plus they pay you for taking it.”

“I don’t know. It could be dangerous.”

“It’s not though. None of the other’s on the trial haven’t had any side effects at all.”

“I don’t want to be the first one that does.”

“We’re trying to help you Brendon. Dr Abel said you were a very good candidate.”

“I trust Dr Jo more.”

“Brendon, please.” Mom said, taking my hand.

“I just don’t trust it.”

“We’ve already signed you up.”

“What the hell!?” I shouted frustrated, jumping out of the seat.

“We’re going to see them tomorrow.” Mom whispered.

“I’m not going.” I protested.

“Yes you are Brendon.” Dad said sternly.

“I’m not! Stop deciding things for me!”

“When you live under this roof, you abide by our rules.” Dad told me.

“Then I guess I’m going home.” I said before going into the bedroom to pack everything up.

Dad grabbed my arm and pushed me back into the seat. “Brendon, you’re doing this trial.”

“I’m not! I don’t trust these stupid trials!”

“Too bad.”

“I’m not doing it. Just the thought of it terrifies me.”

“Brendon, it’s going to be the same sort of thing as your regular medication.” Mom tried to convince.

“But it's not my regular medication, and it takes ages to get used to new medication and it's just a pain.” I countered.

“Too bad.” Dad stated.

“I hate you.” I muttered, standing up once again.

“You’ll thank us for this.” Mom tried to tell me.

“Sure.” I murmured. “Well, I’m going for a walk so I don’t get  _ more  _ frustrated.”

“I’m coming.”

I rolled my eyes. “If you have to.”

Mom put her shoes on and led me out of the house. “Let’s go.”

I just silently strolled down the side of the street, unsure as to where I was actually going.

“Let’s go this way.” Mom directed.

“Why….?” I asked.

“So we don’t walk into the cul-de-sac?”

I sighed. “Fine.”

Mom seemed awfully perky as she led me around her neighbourhood.

“You seem to be enjoying this.” I observed.

“Well, it’s a beautiful day and I’m with my beautiful son!” She grinned.

I shook my head. “Only one of those are correct.”

“True, it is forecasted to rain later.”

I sighed. “That’s not the one I meant.”

She giggled. “I know. I’m just happy.”

I smiled slightly. “Well, I’m glad you are.”

She was practically skipping through the streets as we made our way home.

Once we were at the door, I opened it up so she could walk in. “I’m going to do some work.” I announced.

“Can I listen?” Mom asked excitedly.

“Uh, sure? I guess…?”

She sat down on the couch and I grabbed my laptop. “So, uh, what do you want to hear?”

“Anything!”

I handed her my headphones and played the song I think she’d like most.

She grinned. “That’s amazing Brenny!”

I half-smiled. “Thanks Mom.”

“I best leave you be.”

I smiled wider. “Thanks.”

She moved away and started talking to Dad.

I slipped my headphones on and continued working on my song. It was starting to come together, but it was still missing something.

“Dinner, Brendon.” Dad said, tapping me on the shoulder.

“Not hungry.” I murmured, not taking my eyes off the screen.

“You need to eat, come on.”

I groaned and closed my laptop before following him into the kitchen.

Mom served up dinner before sitting down beside me.

“How is it going Bren?”

I shrugged. “Slowly.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it.” She grinned.

“Hopefully.” I sighed.

“This is amazing, Grace.” My Dad murmured as he ate his food.

I nodded. “I really missed your cooking.”

Mom beamed. “Well, make the most of it!”

“I certainly will.” I grinned.

The table was silent as we all scoffed our food.

Once we finished eating, I quickly took the plates into the kitchen and did the dishes.

“Thanks Brenny!” Mom called.

“It’s fine.” I assured.

After the dishes were all done, we curled up on the couch to watch a movie. Mom chose some old 80’s thing, but it was reasonably good.

After the movie was over, I yawned. “Well, I’m heading to bed.”

Mom nodded. “Sleep well Bren. Your night medication is in the cupboard above the sink.”

I nodded. “Thanks.”

I wandered into the kitchen and took the cocktail of pills before heading to the bedroom.


	17. Chapter 16 - If Home Is Where The Heart Is, Then We’re All Just...

*******Kaitlyn’s Point Of View*******

“I still can’t believe you’re not coming with me.” I pouted.

June shrugged. “I told you, you won’t need me.”

The door opened and June quickly hid away.

“Your Mom’s here.” Melissa said simply.

“O-Oh, okay.” I murmured, picking up my bag. I felt a strong sense of sadness as I looked back to see the closet.

“A-Are you sure June?” I whispered finally.

She peeped out and nodded.

“Come on Kaitlyn, let’s go.” Melissa sounded a little annoyed.

“B-But…”

She sighed and shook her head. “ _ Now,  _ Kaitlyn.”

I glumly followed her out of the room to the reception, where Sarah was waiting. Her face lit up when she saw me.

“Hey Bub!”

“Hey…” I murmured.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, sounding concerned.

“N-nothing.”

“Liar. What’s wrong Kaitlyn?”

I sniffled. “J-June isn’t c-coming home with m-me.”

“Oh… well, maybe that can be a good thing?”

I scowled. “You’re just like everyone else! June isn’t imaginary! She’s as real as you are!”

Sarah bit her lip. “Let’s go home bub.”

I grabbed my bag and begrudgingly followed her out to the car.

“I assume Dad isn’t home?”

“You are correct. You can call him tonight if you’d like.”

I sighed. “Alright…”

“Um… let’s get you up to speed with what’s been going on… Um, Nicole started a fight and she’s been suspended for two weeks.”

“Oh….”

“Jax is a little upset because your Dad isn’t around, and, well, yeah.” Sarah finished with a sigh.

“So…..chaos?”

“Pretty much.” 

“Do  _ I _ have to go to school?”

“Not at first. You can have a few days off to settle back in, but you will have to go back to school bub.”

I sighed. “That sucks.”

“I know, but it’s truly for the best.”

“You should just homeschool us.” I mumbled.

“You need the social interaction Kaitlyn.” Sarah told me. “You really do.”

“I don’t. It’s terrifying.”

“I’m not letting you become a hermit.” She stated.

“I’m not going to become a hermit!”

“You won’t as long as I’m around.”

“Well, I’m making this clear now, I am not going to school. Ever. I’ve had enough. It’s always terrible.”

“Kaitlyn Urie, you are  _ going  _ to school and you don’t have the right to tell me otherwise.”

“You’re supposed to do what’s best for me.” I muttered.

“And I am. You need a good education, and a good dose of social interaction, and that’s why you’re going to school.”

“So being tortured is best for me. Strange.”

Sarah just sighed. “We’re home.”

I got out of the car and pulled my bag out before retreating to my room.

“Kaity’s Home!” Jaxon grinned.

I smiled. “Hi Jax!”

He wrapped me in a hug. “I’ve missed you!”

“I missed you too Jax. I missed you so much.”

He snuggled into me. “Me too.”

“Have you been good for Mommy?”

“Uh huh.” He nodded.

“Good boy. Do you want to play?”

“But my favourite show is about to start!”

“Well let’s go get comfy.” I suggested.

We went to the lounge and snuggled up before the cartoons started playing. It was nice for a while, until Sarah walked in and reminded me that it was time for my medication.

I sighed, and wormed my way out to the kitchen where she had it ready for me.

“I hate this, ya know?”

“I know.” She assured. “But you need it bub.”

“What if I don’t take it?”

“You already know what happens.”

I sighed and pushed the pills away. “Can we just try? I’m feeling really good.”

“I don’t know bub. I don’t want you to miss them, then not be able to take them for ages. I just want to keep you safe.”

I folded my arms. “I’m not taking them.”

She sighed. “Fine, but if anything happens, I’m taking you straight to the hospital this time.”

I frowned. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“It is if you’re possibly going to hurt someone.”

I curled up slightly at that thought.

“Shall I put them back?”

I reluctantly took them back and swallowed them. “I-I don’t wanna hurt anyone, or end up in the hospital…”

“That’s a good choice.”

I just sighed. “I miss June.”

“I know bub, and I’m sorry.”

I sniffled. “I’m going to go to my room for a bit.”

She nodded. “I’ll be out here if you need anything, okay?”

I nodded glumly and disappeared to my bedroom.

*******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

“So, we think you’re a perfect candidate for the trial and we’d like to start today.”

I sighed. “And you’re sure  _ nothing _ will go wrong?”

“Pretty certain.”

“Fine, I guess.” I murmured, not feeling like arguing any longer.

The man handed Mom a box of pills, and me the first dosage with a cup of water.

I quickly took the pills, trying to not think about it, but immediately realised these pills were much larger than I was used to.

“You okay there?” The doctor asked.

I nodded, forcing the pills down my throat. “Fine.”

Mom patted my shoulder. “And they’ll start working soon?”

The doctor nodded. “Should only be a few minutes.”

I sighed and slumped into the chair I was sitting on, already hating these new pills.

“Do we need to do anything else?” Mom asked.

“If there’s any issues, make sure you come back here.” He stated.

“Thank you so much. We’re going to head home.” Mom stated, getting up from her seat.

I got up from the seat and felt incredibly drowsy already.

“Are you ready to go Bren?” Mom asked.

I nodded. “I think so.” I murmured.

She took my hand and led me out of the room to the car. I didn’t remember much of the drive home, I think I fell asleep.

I wake up to Mom lightly shaking me. “Come inside Bren. You can go back to sleep if you want.”

I groaned. “Just let me sleeep here…”

“You’ll be more comfortable inside.”

“But I’m tired Mom…”

“I know Brendon. You can fall asleep as soon as you’re inside.”

I begrudgingly heaved myself out of the car and crashed on the couch as soon as I got inside.

*******Kaitlyn’s Point Of View******

“So you’re not going to talk to me?”

I shook my head and folded my arms in an act of defiance. After all, I had only just received the good news that June was back, and now Sarah had shipped me off for an ‘emergency session’.

“Look, I know you don’t want to be here.” Indigo sighed. “But we need to talk so we can get to the bottom of this.”

“What, the bottom of me being happy because I got my friend back?”

Indigo sighed again. “How about this. For this session, I’ll agree that June is real, as long as you talk to me.”

I considered her offer.

“Please, I need to know kiddo.”

“Fine.” I murmured.

Indigo smiled. “Thanks. So, June’s back. How did she come back?”

That threw me. “Um, I’m not really sure. I was just sitting in my room doing some drawing, and then she was there.”

“Did she tell you anything about why she came back all of a sudden?”

“She said she missed me.” I smiled slightly at the memory.

“And did that make you feel good Kaitlyn?”

I nodded. “Uh huh.”

“Why do you think that that is?”

“Because it means she likes me and I like it when people like me.”

Indigo smiled slightly and wrote something down.

“Is June just like everyone else or does she have some superpowers?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, does she walk, or does she like, fly?”

I was a little confused. “She’s just a normal human? But she has purple hair. And for some reason, she always knows when someone is coming and hides in the closet.”

“I see.” Indigo wrote some more down.

I leaned over to see her notebook, but she pulled it slightly out of my sight. “What sort of things do you two talk about?”

I leaned back in the chair. “Everything really. We talk about Mom and Dad and Nicole and Jax and everyone else and all the things that happen to me.”

Indigo wrote some more things down. “Does June ever tell you about things that happen to her at all?”

“Not really. She keeps a lot of secrets. She won’t tell me why she won’t speak to anyone other than me. I think she might have social anxiety too.”

Indigo chuckled. “Maybe kiddo. Maybe. Um… So you only started talking to her at the rehab centre?”

“Yeah? Well, I saw her sometimes before that, but really rarely.”

“Okay. And do you think June looks like anyone you’ve ever met before?”

I nervously started tapping the armrest.

“Ah, I see. Who do you think she looks like?”

“M-my old friend Sophie. But Sophie didn’t have purple hair.”

Indigo started furiously writing things down and drawing lines.

“W-What are you doing?”

“Making connections.” She explained without looking up.

“With what?”

“What you’ve just told me.”

I frowned.

Indigo finished writing. “Alright. So, has June ever been mean to you or treated you badly?”

“Not really. Other than not coming home with me straight away, no.”

“That’s good.”

I was a little baffled. “Why would you think my friend would hurt me?”

“Just a precaution Kaitlyn. There are some friends who’ll hurt you. Just ask your Dad, his friend Ryan hurt him bad. Anyway, so how is your family reacting to June?”

“I don’t think Dad and Jax know, Nicole just kinds of avoids talking about it and Mom, well, Mom sent me here, so I don’t think she likes it.”

Indigo nodded. “Well, let’s move on from June now. How is life back at home?”

“Same same. I really miss Dad.”

“Have you talked to him on the phone?”

“Mom said we could but well, I keep forgetting that I can.” I admitted sheepishly.

“Maybe just call him tonight?”

I nodded. “Maybe.”

Indigo flicked through her notes. “Well, the session’s nearly over, so can you go grab your Mom? I think we need to have a bit of a talk.”

I sighed. “Okay.”

I got up from my seat and wandered out to the waiting area where Sarah was sitting down. I basically just told her she needed to come with no more explanation than that.

Indigo smile slightly as she came in. “Come sit down.”

Sarah sat down and I reseated nervously beside her, wondering what Indigo needed to say.

“So let’s talk about June.”

I found myself once again tapping nervously on the armrest.

Sarah nodded. “How bad is it? Does she need to go back to the institution?”

I tapped faster.

Indigo shook her head. “No, no, no. What we have here is actually quite common in children with PTSD. It’s not going to become a big problem. Well, at least not currently.”

“So it could get worse?”

“Technically…” Indigo said unsurely. “But it’s unlikely at this stage.”

Sarah nodded. “Okay, so what can we do to help?”

Indigo ran her hand through her hair. “In a nutshell, June is a coping mechanism. So as a way to help Kaitlyn deal with the trauma she’s been exposed to, she’s created June as the sort of ‘perfect friend’. That’s why she looks like your old friend, Kaitlyn.”

I sunk slightly into my chair. “Oh…”

“So basically, the best thing you can do at the moment is just let Kaitlyn keep talking to her as long as she’s around, because basically, it’s helping her. But, if June hurts her, or if she starts to become withdrawn, then we’ll look at what to do from there.” Indigo explained.

I tried to hide it, but I felt myself feeling hopeless and stupid and even started crying. 

“What’s up kiddo?” Indigo asked.

“N-Nothing…” I sniffled quietly.

“It’s obviously something bub.” Sarah told me. 

“It’s just all this stuff makes me feel like I’m stupid…”

“How so?”

“Because you keep telling me it’s not real, that’s it’s made up, that’ I’m crazy!” 

“Kaitlyn, it’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is!” I retaliated. I took a second to breathe before sinking back into the chair.

“It’s not bub.” Sarah assured. “Do you want to go home now?”

“A-Are we done?”

Indigo nodded. “Yep.”

I got up from the chair and slowly left the room, not wanting to appear rushed.

We reached the car and Sarah drove us home. “What’s up bub?”

“I don’t know. I just feel drained and stupid and useless and dependant and a million other things. It’s just getting to be overwhelming.”

“Well, how about we just relax when we get home?” She suggested. “We can put on a movie and just relax for a bit.”

I nodded. “O-okay.”

We reached the house and Sarah kept her promise, making everyone sit and watch a movie and she even made popcorn.

I tried to enjoy it but thoughts of school and about June and Dad just kept coming up, making it hard.

“I-I’m going to my room.” I whispered.

Sarah looked at me. “Are you okay bub?”

“I t-think so?”

“Okay….” She said unsurely. “I’m here if you need to talk.”

“I-I’m just going to talk to June…” I murmured as I walked out of the room.

I walked into my room and June immediately came and wrapped me in a hug. “Are you alright?”

“I-I’m c-crazy!” I cried.

“No you aren’t, you aren’t at all.” She assured.

“But you’re not real!” I cried. “Everyone tells me that you’re not real!”

“Why do you believe them?”

I paused. “Um…”

“Exactly. You have no reason to. Believe whatever you want.”

I smiled slightly. “Thanks June.”

She shrugged. “Just the truth.”

I laid back on the bed. “What do you want to do?”

“You choose.”

I shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

“We can just draw if you want?”

I smiled. “Okay. In the studio?”

She nodded.

I sat down at the desk and grabbed some materials, before starting my oil pastel drawing. I decided to try and draw a lion.

She just grabbed a piece of paper and started drawing something. I couldn’t see as she was hiding it.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Drawing.” She stated simply.

“What are you drawing?”

“A beach.”

“That’s cool.”

She nodded.

I finished up my lion and pegged it onto the wall with the rest of my drawings.

“You’re really good at this.” She said, looking around.

I shrugged. “N-Not really.”

“You really are.”

“I get a lot of practice?”

“Must do.”

I shrugged. “You’re probably better.”

She shook her head. “Not really.”

“Can I see then?”

She hesitantly handed me the piece of paper.

“This is amazing though!”

She blushed slightly. “If you say so…”

I put it up next to mine. “There.”

“Thanks.” She smiled.

Then her face fell and she snuck under the desk, right before there was a knock at the door.

“H-Hello?” 

Sarah walked in. “You left kind of abruptly. Is everything okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I was just everywhere and confused, so I came in here to unwind.”

“I like your lion.” Sarah smiled. “But what’s with the blank piece of paper?”

“What blank piece of paper?”

She pointed to June’s drawing of the beach.

“That’s June’s picture.” I explained.

“I see…” Sarah mumbled.

I sighed. “Well, it’s a beach since you clearly can’t see it.”

“Right. Um, do you want to come up? When Jax finishes talking to your father, it’s your turn.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I muttered, still frustrated.

Sarah smiled and led me out to the kitchen, where Jaxon handed me the phone.

“Hey Dad.” I murmured.

“What’s wrong little worm?” He asked, becoming concerned. 

“Nothing, don’t worry.”

“It sounds like something. Are you sure everything’s okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” I assured. “Anyway, how are you?”

“Pretty good. How is it to be home?”

“It’s alright, I guess.”

“That’s good. Been doing much?”

“Not really.” I mumbled.

“Hmm. Well, that’s cool I guess.”

“What have you been doing?”

“Just hanging, I guess. Meeting up with old friends, therapy, spending time with Mom and Dad. Just the usual.”

“That’s cool, I suppose.”

He nodded. “Do you want me to bring you anything home?”

“N-No, it’s fine. J-just focus on y-you.”

“Well, I’m bringing Jax home a teddy bear, so it wouldn’t be any trouble.”

“N-no, it’s okay.”

“Are you sure you’re okay little worm?”

“M-maybe?”

“What’s up?”

‘I-I don’t know. I just f-feel bad. I don’t kn-know why.”

“I see. Um.. would a joke help?”

“You can try?”

“What’s black and white and red all over?”

“I-I don’t know. W-What?”

“A penguin in a blender.”

“That’s so mean.” I frowned.

He chuckled. “It’s all hypothetical, don’t worry.”

“I guess s-so…”

“Anyway, can you put me back onto your Mom? I have to talk to her about something.”

“Y-Yeah, that’s fine.” I said. “B-Bye.”

I handed the phone back to Sarah before turning back to my room, but she grabbed my phone and directed me to the couch.

I sat down quietly on the couch and just stared blankly at the wall, wondering why she lead me here.

Once she’d finished on the phone, she sat down next to me. “So what’s going on?”

“I-I don’t know…” I whispered.

“Hmm. Well, Jax and I are going down to the mall for a bit, do you want to come?”

I shook my head. “N-No thanks.”

“Let me rephrase that. Um, Jax and I are going down to the mall for a bit, can you go get ready because you’re coming with us?”

I became really nervous. “C-Can’t I stay?”

Sarah shook her head. “Go get some shoes on and we’ll go.”

“P-Please let me stay.” I pleaded.

“We need to get out and about Kaitlyn. Come on, let’s go.”

“I-I’ll go out another time. P-Please just let me stay.”

Sarah shook her head. “Come on bub. We’re going.”

I started shaking, but put on some shoes. 

“Nicole, while we’re gone, can you vacuum please?” Sarah called as she helped Jaxon put his shoes on.

“Yeah, sure.” She answered.

Sarah took me and Jax to the car. I was silent the entire car ride, just dreading the moment where I’d have to get out.

“Can you change the station Mommy?” Jaxon asked,

Sarah pushed the button. “Sure.”

A kids station came on and Jaxon started bouncing along in the backseat.

We reached the mall and my shaking intensified before I’d even gotten out of the car.

“Come on Kaity!” Jaxon called. 

I curled up on the chair and started crying. “I-I can’t.”

Sarah gently took my hand and eased me out of the car. “It’s okay. It’s not busy today, and we’ll go really slow.”

“I w-wanna go home.” I whimpered.

“But we have to do the shopping!” Jaxon exclaimed.

“I know, I know.” I sniffled.

Sarah put Jaxon in the front seat of the shopping cart and led us inside. I didn’t know who we were shopping for, but it became apparent when we ended up in a baby store.

“W-What are we looking for?” I asked Sarah.

“Just, stuff for Pickles, I guess. Bren’s parents gave me a big wad of cash at the baby shower as a gift, so we’re just shopping.”

I nodded. “O-Okay.”

We walked around the isles for a while, filling up the cart with bottles and pacifiers and such. Then came the process of picking a crib.

We walked around the crib section and I remained silent.

“I like this one!” Jax exclaimed, pointing to the blue one with race cars on it.

“I don’t know Jax. Let’s look for something more plain.”

Jaxon frowned but kept pointing out other cribs. He was clearly enjoying this alot.

I found one in the corner that was kind of nice. It was a sort of light grey, with some timber finishing. It was sort of round too, but I liked it.

“That one’s cool.” Sarah said, walking over to me.

I froze up sort of. “M-Maybe?”

“It’s probably the nicest one here.”

I shrugged.

“Maybe we should take some pictures and ask Brendon.”

“But the racecar one Mommy!” Jaxon whined.

“We don’t know if Pickles likes race cars Jax.”

“But race cars are the best!”

“I know Jax, but we can’t decide for Pickles.”

“Aww!”

“I know Jax, I know.” 

I was still really quiet, just slowly stewing away.

Sarah snapped a few pictures and sent them to Brendon. “Let’s go look at clothes while we wait for him to reply.”

Jaxon was once again excited and pointing out different clothes.

Sarah and I looked through the pile of t-shirts. I got excited when I found a green one with a pickle on it.

I just tapped her arm lightly, still not summoning up the courage to talk and held it up for her to see.

She grinned. “Oh that’s awesome! Brendon’s gonna love it!”

I smiled slightly.

She put it in the cart along with a couple of other little shirts.

The trip was going quite well until I had thought I had seen Gretchen and I started panicking again. I separated myself from Sarah as to not embarrass her.

“Where are you going Kaity?” Jaxon asked.

“I-I’m just going to l-look over here…” I whispered.

“Mommy! Kaity’s running away!”

I started crying and picked up my pace. I sat myself down in the corner of the store.

“Kaitlyn! What’s going on bub?!” Sarah panicked as she found me.

“I w-wanna go h-home!” I cried.

“O-Okay, okay. We just need to check out and we’ll go home.” She sighed.

I nodded and curled up further. “I-I’ll meet up with you in a s-sec.”

“I’ll just sit here for a bit.”

“Okay.”

We sat in silence for about 10 minutes.

I took a few deep breaths and just tried to calm down.

“Mommy I’m bored.” Jaxon whined.

“Please Jax, just be patient.”

“But Kaity looks okay now!”

“We’ll leave soon, okay?”

I felt awful for making him wait. “I-I’m s-sorry…”

“No, no, it’s okay bub.” Sarah assured.

“N-No it’s not!” I cried.

“It’s fine bub.” She promised, rubbing my back. “Are you ready to go?”

I honestly wasn’t, but I nodded out of respect for everyone else.

We zoomed through the checkouts and got back out to the car. Sarah got Jaxon seated in the backseat as I composed myself.

“Are you okay now bub?”

“M-Maybe?”

She looked sort of worried, but climbed in the front to drive us home.

Once we were home, she helped Jaxon inside first. I just sat in the car, still shaken up and scolding myself for being pathetic. This stupid shaking hadn’t stopped.

Sarah came back to get me and the shopping. “Are you okay?”

“I-I’ll be fine.” I assured. I grabbed some bags to help her and trudged inside.

Sarah walked around the house, looking for somewhere to put everything, before sighing. “Nicole, Kaitlyn, come here.”

I rushed to where she was so I could help.

Nicole and I took the bags, expecting to be asked to put them down somewhere, but she nervously rubbed her hands together before looking at the two of us.

“I need a bit of a favour. A big one.”

“W-What is it?”

“I think I need you two to share a room so we have a nursery.”

“Oh….” I went silent.

“Sure, I guess that’s fine.” Nicole mumbled.

‘It’s not fine.’ I told myself. ‘Not at all.’

“I am sorry about this girls, I really am. If we hadn’t just moved, I’d move us again, but we just moved, so, yeah.” Sarah apologised awkwardly.

“N-No, it’s fine.’ I tried to say.

“So, obviously this won’t be immediate, but when we start getting furniture and all, we’ll just move. I guess I’ll let you choose between yourselves the layout and how it’s all going to work.”

We nodded before Nicole ran back into her room.

Sarah just put the bags down on the couch. “It’ll be alright, I think…”

“I-I’ll just g-get over it.” I mumbled.

“What’s wrong Kaity?” Jaxon asked.

“Th-there’s nothing wrong. N-Nothing at all.”

“Kaitlyn and Nicole are just a bit sad because they have to share a room, bud.” Sarah explained.

“Why don’t I share a room with someone?”

“Because you’re the only boy.”

He frowned. “I’ve had to share with Nikki before.”

“But you don’t have to right now, okay? Kaity and Nikki are much closer in age and it just makes more sense.”

“Fine.” He muttered.

“Do you just want to watch a movie?” Sarah asked. “I’m really tired.”

“I-I’m just going to sleep s-so I don’t annoy you m-more.”

“You don’t annoy me Kaitlyn. Where did you get that idea?” Sarah asked.

“I had a p-panic attack in the m-middle of a store.”

“You didn’t control that bub, that’s not your fault. And it wasn’t annoying.”

“Well it was for me.”

“Not for me. So just stay out here a while.”

I shook my head and walked into my room. I sat on my bed and just scolded myself, rather than actually falling asleep at all.

After a while, there was a knock at my door, and Nicole walked in.

“H-Hi….”

“I figured we should talk about rooms and all…” She murmured as she sat down next to me.

“You just have it however you w-want.” I whispered.

“Nah, we gotta both have some input or else it’s not fair.” She shrugged. “Do you want to come to my room or do you want me to move here?”

“W-Well my s-studio’s h-here?”

“Fair enough. It’s bigger in here too.”

“W-We can j-just stay in y-your room if you w-want?”

She shook her head. “I think this is better.”

“O-Okay….” I whispered.

She looked around. “Do you reckon that if we moved your bed over there, and put my bed here, that would be nice?”

“M-Maybe?” I whispered.

“Yeah, because that might look okay… and then we can put my bookshelf over there maybe?”

“I d-don’t know...You decide.”

She sighed. “It’s a group decision Kaitlyn.”

“J-Just make sure y-you’re happy.”

“But you have to be happy too.”

“I-I don’t really care, I-I guess.”

“You obviously do. Look, maybe let’s work this out some other time”

I nodded. “Th-that’s a good i-idea.”

“Let’s go see Mom then. I think she might need some help with dinner.”

I nodded and we walked out to the kitchen. Nicole immediately jumped in and helped out, but I just stood around, not sure what to do.

“Hey Kaitlyn!” Mom smiled. “How are you?”

“O-Okay, I guess?” I answered.

“What have you been up to?”

“Just talking t-to Nicole, I g-guess.”

“That’s cool.” She smiled. “Anyway, can you peel these potatoes for me?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

She handed me the peeler and I quietly stood at the counter, peeling the potatoes without a word.

After a little while, she came over. “Almost done?”

I nodded. “Almost.”

“Good job on the potatoes. Thanks for the help bub.”

“I-It’s fine.” I assured.

“Can you do the carrots too?”

I nodded once again and took the carrots to the counter and started peeling.

Sarah started singing randomly without explanation.

I remained silently peeling so I wouldn’t disturb her. I actually cut my finger slightly, but just walked out of the kitchen without explanation.

“Kaitlyn I need those carrots!” Nicole called.

“I-I’ll be back in a second!”

“What’s going on?”

“I’m just looking for a band-aid.”

“Did you cut yourself?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine. I’ll be back soon.”

I fumbled around in the bathroom cabinets until I found a bandaid and I did my best to stick it on before walking back out.

“Did you find one?”

“Yeah.” I murmured.

“Alright. Can you just finish up?”

“Sure.”

******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

“Here we go, dose number two.” Mom pushed the two blue pills along the kitchen bench towards me.

“Can’t I just go back to the old stuff?”

She shook her head. “No. Take this Brendon, it’s much better.”

I sighed and took the pills, almost immediately feeling their hypnotic almost effects.

Dad patted my shoulder. “Thanks son.”

“It’s fine.” I murmured.

“Get dressed, your appointment with Dr Abel is at nine.”

“I swear, I’m going to fall asleep before then.” 

“Well, it’s eight now, so go get changed and we’ll go get some coffee first.”

I quickly got dressed and dragged myself out to the car.

“You look tired.” Dad noted.

“I’ll live.” I mumbled.

Dad went and got me a coffee from the nearby store. “Here.”

“Thanks.” I smiled slightly, taking a sip.

He shrugged. “You looked like you needed it.”

“I think I did. That medication was probably going to knock me out. I have no clue what the hell is in it.”

“I do. It’s just a small side effect. It’ll wear off in a few days.”

“If you’re sure...”

He pulled up at Dr Abel’s office. “Do you want me to walk you in?”

“Yeah, sure.” I shrugged

We walked into the office and I was taken straight into see Dr Abel. 

“Hey Brendon.” He greeted. 

“Hi.” I murmured, feeling slightly better after the coffee.

“Let’s start off easy. How are you?”

“Um… okay I guess.” I murmured.

“Well that’s good. How’s the medication going?”

I shrugged. “All it’s done is make me sleep, to be honest.”

He wrote something down. “That should wear off. How are your parents?”

“They’ve been wonderful. At least someone’s trying to help me through this, I guess.”

“That’s good to hear. Have you spoken to your family back home at all?”

“I’ve called them a handful of times, yeah.”

“And how are they?”

“They’re alright. One of my daughters just got home, Kaitlyn and then Nicole is suspended from school for fighting and apparently Jax is just being a pain. I don’t know how Sarah can deal with it all.”

“And how are you feeling about the fact that you’re not there?”

“Not great, truthfully. I wish I could help them out.”

“Do you worry about this a lot?”

I nodded. “Always. It feels unfair.”

He nodded and wrote something down. “Alright. And how are you just going at home with your Mom and Dad? Everything okay?”

I shrugged. “It’s fine, I guess.”

“So you’re coping with everything really well?”

“I guess?”

“Well, then quite frankly Brendon, I don’t see why you need to be with your parents. I think it’s time for you to go home.”

“I suppose so…”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you really don’t need to be here.”

“I’m sure I’ll leave soon, I just want to enjoy being home a bit longer I guess.”

“That’s all good and well, but I’m just slightly worried that you’ll get too used to being home and you won’t want to go back.”

“I don’t know, maybe. It’ll only be for a few more days, I’m sure.” 

Dr Abel raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know.” I sighed. “I want to be home with my family but there's so much less to stress about here.”

“But they need you, Brendon. They really need you.”

“I know they do.” I murmured.

“And that’s why you need to go home.”

I sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Well, you can leave now. Our time’s basically up.”

I walked out to the waiting area and reunited with Dad, who immediately realized something was wrong.

“What’s up Brendon?”

I sighed. “Dr Abel says I should go back to LA but I like staying here.” 

“You know your Mom and I don’t mind that you’re here. We love having you.” He assured.

“Thanks Dad” I smiled gratefully.

He smiled. “Let’s go home.”

We got home in peace, pretty quickly too and I walked inside, deciding to call Sarah and ask her about this.

“Bren! I made you cookies!” Mom called.

“Oh, uh, I’ll be there in a second!”

“But I made you snickerdoodles! Your favourites!”

I threw my phone onto the bed and raced to the kitchen.

Mom smiled. “Here Brenny Boo. Straight out of the oven.”

“Thank you so much!” I grinned.

She poured me a glass of milk too. “Here buddy.”

“You’re the best Mom!” I wrapped her in a hug.

She chuckled. “I just love my Brendon.”

“You spoil me so much.”

She giggled. “Come on, let’s go watch a movie and eat the rest of these cookies.”

We all snuggled up on the couch and put on a movie. I quickly finished all the cookies and just leaned back and enjoyed the movie.

Mom smiled. “You look nice today.”

I blushed slightly. “Thanks.”

“Didn’t you have to go call Sarah?” Dad asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, I probably should. I’ll be back soon.”

“Aww, but don’t leave!” Mom complained.

“I won’t take long, I promise.”

She nodded uncertainly and let me go.

I quickly ducked into the bedroom, grabbed my phone and started calling Sarah.

“Hey Bren!” She smiled.

“Hey Sarah. How’s it been?”

“Eh, it’s been better. But how are you?”

“I’m pretty good, I guess. I actually want to discuss something with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, Dr Abel says that I’d be fine to come back to LA, but I want to stay in Vegas longer. I don’t know.”

“Honestly Bren, I really need some help.”

I sighed. “Alright. I’ll see when I can come back.”

“Thanks Bren. I’m sorry for tearing you away from your family…”

“No, no, it’s okay. It was unfair for me to leave you with everything.”

“No, it was okay, you needed some time.” She assured.

“Well, I’m going to start looking for flights. I’ll talk to you later Sarah.”

“Okay Bren. Talk soon!”

“Bye!” I smiled before hanging up. I pulled my laptop off the charger and went back to the lounge room.

“How did it go?” Mom asked.

“It was alright. I'm probably going home sooner than intended though.”

“Aww! Brenny!” Mom pouted.

“I know, I don’t want to leave either but Sarah needs some help.”

“That’s understandable.” Dad nodded.

“So now I’m looking for flights.” I sighed.

“Get one in a week from now!”

“Grace, come on, he has to go back to his family.” Dad corrected.

“But he just came home and now he has to leave again.”

“He has 3 children!” Dad snapped.

She sighed and fell silent.

“Book some flights Brendon.” Dad sighed.

“I think I’ve found some. Not for two days though. The rest are booked out.”

“Yay!” Mom smiled.

I smiled slightly as I booked the flight. “Well I think that’s sorted.”

“Awesome.” Dad shrugged. 

“I suppose we can get back to relaxing now.” I said, slumping into the couch.

Mom smiled. “Sounds good.”


	18. Chapter 17 - A Single Spark Can Burn The Whole Place Down

*******Kaitlyn’s Point Of View*******

“Alright, if anything goes wrong, go to the office, okay?” Mom instructed.

I was shaking already. “I c-can’t go in Mom…”

“Please bub, just try.”

“I d-don’t know if I can…” I whispered.

“I’ll go in with you and we’ll talk to the principal, okay?”

My hands were still shaking. “O-Okay…”

We walked straight into the office to see the principal.

“Hello Mrs Urie, Kaitlyn.”

I didn’t say anything, just tightened my grip on Sarah’s hand.

“Hello. I’m just here to talk about Kaitlyn.” She explained.

“Oh, okay. What do you want to talk about?”

“Well as you probably know, she’s just coming back today but she’s really nervous and quite scared, so I was wondering if you knew how I could help with that.”

She nodded. “Okay, well, just come through here and we’ll talk.”

“Sure.” Sarah murmured, leading me through to the office.

I was dead silent and looked around the room, trying to calm down.

“So what can we do?” Sarah asked.

“Well she could talk to the councillor to see if he can settle her back into it…”

“Does that sounds okay bub?” Sarah asked.

“I-I don’t know.” I sniffled.

“Anything else?” Sarah asked.

“There’s not much more I can suggest. She’s already missed so much school, it would only make it worse if she were to miss more.”

“Well, let’s just try the councillor and I guess that’s our only choice…” Sarah murmured.

“Would you like me to guide you two there?”

“Yes please.”

She led us through the halls and after a little while, I collected my surroundings and began to recognise everything. She stopped in from of the councillor’s office.

“Well, here it is.”

Mom nodded. “Thank you for your help.”

She smiled. “No problems. Well, I have to head back now, I’ll see you later Kaitlyn.”

I waved goodbye slightly and took a deep breath, still trying to adapt.

Mom knocked on the door and Derek opened it. He smiled when he saw us.

“H-Hi…” I whispered.

“Hi Kaitlyn, and I’m assuming Kaitlyn’s Mom?”

Mom nodded. “I’m Sarah.” She introduced.

Derek shook her hand. “Derek. Come in, take a seat.”

We sat down and I shuffled up right beside Sarah, almost on top of her.

“It’s okay bub.” She whispered, sensing my nerves.

“Alright, what brings you two here?” Derek asked.

“Kaitlyn’s just, really nervous about her first day back and we were hoping you could help.” Mom explained.

He nodded. “I can try. Why are you nervous Kaitlyn?”

“I-I don’t w-want people to b-be mean to me a-and I don’t w-want to get in trouble f-for not being h-here.” I sniffled.

“Well, we can assure you that the second is not true. You aren’t in trouble for not being here. Let’s elaborate on the first. Why are you worried of people being mean to you?”

“B-Because Nicole i-isn’t here to protect m-me, I guess.”

“Do you believe that people are going to be mean to you?”

I nodded. “Th-there’s just s-so much wrong w-with me. I-I wouldn’t b-be surprised if p-people were m-mean to me.”

“For starters, there isn’t ‘so much’ wrong with you. Secondly, I can assure you that we have a very extensive anti-bullying program, and there is very little chance of people being mean. And don’t you have some friends who you talk to?”

“Th-they m-might’ve f-found someone e-else to talk to.”

“Oh, well, I doubt that. Let’s go see if we can find them.”

“I-I, uh….okay…”

“Do you want me to come?” Sarah asked.

“Y-Yes please.” I whispered.

We left the office and walked down the halls until we found Dana and Phil.

“Kaitlyn!” The raced towards me. 

“H-Hi.” I whispered.

“It’s been forever!” Dana smiled.

I subconsciously reached for Sarah’s hand and tried to hide behind her.

“Y-Yeah, it h-has been awhile…” I cowered behind Sarah a little

“Why are you hiding?” She asked, a tad confused.

“S-Sorry, I-I’m just still n-not used to b-being here.”

She moved slightly so she could see me. “That’s okay. But you don’t have to be scared Kaitlyn, I don’t bite.”

“Y-Yeah, I guess so….” I moved slightly out from behind Sarah.

“So,” Derek cleared his throat. “Kaitlyn is a little nervous about being back today, but you guys will look after her, right?”

Dana and Phil nodded. “Of course.”

Sarah gently pried my fingers off her hand. “Well, I have to go now bub.”

I frowned. “O-Okay…”

She ruffled my hair. “I’ll see you at three.”

I nodded. “I-I’ll see you then.”

Sarah and Derek then left, leaving me alone with my friends.

“S-So what h-have you b-been up to?”

“Not much.” Phil shrugged.

“O-oh, okay…”

The bell rang through the halls. “We gotta get to class.”

“H-Homeroom, right?”

“Yep. Oh… you’re in the other room. Do you want us to walk you there?” Phil asked.

“No, no, then you’d b-be late. I-I’ll find it.”

“Are you sure? We have time.”

“No, no i-it’s okay.”

I nervously walked away from them and started making their way to my classroom.

After a bit of walking around, I was very late, but arrived at my class.

“Kaitlyn! Delightful you decided to join us. Come in, sit down.”

I walked in silently and sat right at the back of the classroom. I couldn’t see Byron around, so I figured he was away.

“So, I figured we’d start the week of with a game.” Mr Dennison said.

I curled up slightly and tried to make myself disappear.

“So I photocopied some wordfinds. First one to finish wins a prize.”

I relaxed a little bit and got a pencil.

Mr Dennison passed them out and I got started straight away. It was actually quite easy, and I was spotting them left, right and centre.

Once I had finished, I put my hand up, not wanting to call out.

“That’s good Kaitlyn. I think you’ve finished first.” 

I froze up.

“It’s alright, I won’t call on you or anything.” 

Everyone was already staring.

“Get back to work.” He called.

Everyone went back to their own crosswords as Mr Dennison placed a chocolate bar on my desk.

I pushed it back towards him. “G-Give it to the n-next person.” 

He shook his head and smiled at me, before walking back to the front of the room.

I sighed, before turning the sheet over and starting to sketch some random things on the back of the paper.

“Sir, why does Kaitlyn always win?” A boy at the front asked. “Whenever we play games when she’s here, she wins. What’s with that?”

He shrugged. “I guess she’s just really good at the games we play.” 

“No, I think she’s your favourite.”

“Yeah!” Another kid piped up.

I curled up in my seat. 

_ This is why you don’t rush things, you idiot! _

“Alright, alright, quieten down. I do not play favourites. This is pure chance.” Mr Dennison assured everyone.

“Luckily she’s always away so some of us get a chance to win.” 

“Why  _ is  _ she always away?” Someone else asked.

“That’s none of your business Tom.” 

“Well, why are you so secretive about it then?! I bet you gave her a paper with half the answers on it!”

“Your conspiracies are not needed or desired right now.” 

He walked over to my desk and swept the paper from underneath my pencil.

“W-What a-are you doing?” 

He sighed. “It’s legit. No handicaps.” He slammed it back on my desk, before retreating to his own.

I was a bit shaken up from all the noise, but tried to just block it out and try to get through this lesson. Surely I could do it, right?

“Quiet study until the bell rings.” Mr Dennison said sternly, sitting down at the teacher’s desk. “Quite frankly guys, this is supposed to be fun. If you guys keep behaving like this when I try to organise cool things, we just won’t do it anymore. Does that sound fun?”

I just remained silent. 

_ You know that Tom kid? The one that terrified you? Why don’t you punch him? No one will care. _

I started shaking, desperately trying to ignore the voices. I needed some emergency medication, but I couldn’t take it in front of everyone else.

I raised my hand slightly and waited for him to notice.

“Yes! Kaitlyn?”

“C-Can I go to the b-bathroom?” 

“Sure. I’ll write you a hall pass.”

I walked up to his desk and I swore I felt everyone’s eyes on me, as if they knew exactly what was going on.

He smiled slightly and handed me the piece of paper. “Everything okay?”

“M-Maybe?” 

He wrote ‘slash councillor’s office’ on the form before handing it back. “There.”

“Th-thank you.” I sniffled.

He gave me a reassuring nod before I quickly left the room.

I dismissed the bathroom plan and rushed to Derek’s office, figuring I could just get water there.

I banged on the door rather urgently when I reached the office, nervously itching to get inside so I could get rid of the voices.

Derek opened the door and I raced in. “C-Can I h-have some water?” 

“Uh, sure. There’s a cooler in the corner.”

I quickly poured out a cup of water, fished my medication out of my bag and swallowed them. After I finished, I sat down.

“Is there any reason that you’re having your emergency medication…” He looked at the clock. “12 minutes into the school day?”

“V-Voices.” I whispered.

“I see.” He murmured, sitting down.

“S-Sorry for r-racing in...” 

“No, no, that’s okay Kaitlyn. That’s why I’m here, after all. For when people race in.”

“C-Can we j-just talk for a l-little bit? Th-there’s no w-way I c-can go back to c-class.

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

“A-Anything.” 

“O-kay then, what happened in home room?”

“ W-We were just d-doing a word search or s-something and then I-I finished before everyone and M-Mr Dennison g-gave me a chocolate and th-then everyone was complaining that I-I always win a-and they thought that I-I was his favourite a-and it was just horrible!” I cried.

“Kaitlyn, that wasn’t a complaint against you. That was a complaint against Mr Dennison.”

All of a sudden, there was more urgent knocking at the door.

Derek walked over and opened the door.

“P-Phil?” I asked.

He looked like he’d been crying, plus he was shaking badly.

I got up from the seat so he’d have room to sit down.

“Oh dear. What happened Phillip?” Derek asked, sounding rather concerned.

“I-I-” He choked and continued crying.

“I keep telling them to hire more staff.” Derek murmured as he handed Phil some water.

“Sh-should I l-leave?” I asked.

“No, no, of course not.” Derek assured. “Looks like this has become a double session.”

I sat awkwardly on the floor as Phil continued crying.

“What happened Phillip?” Derek asked gently.

“I-I don’t know.” He whispered. “I-I just snapped...” 

“That’s okay. Were there any reasons why?”

He shrugged. “I-I don’t know.” 

Derek nodded. “And what exactly happened when you snapped?”

“I-I was just-everywhere and I-I couldn’t c-control anything.” 

“Alright. Considering the way that you are right now, I think it’s best if we call your parents to come and get you.” Derek explained slowly.

He nodded. “O-Okay.” 

Derek went to the small side room and started phoning Phil’s parents while I sat there in awkward silence.

“I-I’m sorry f-for interupting…” Phillip whispered.

“It’s o-okay.” I whispered back.

Derek came back into the main room. “Do you have your bag Phillip?”

“I-It’s back in the c-classroom.” He stammered.

“Alright, well, I’ll take you to get your bag then we’ll go to the office.”

He shook his head. “I d-don’t wanna go b-back out there!”

“Alright, well, how about I get Dana to bring your bag here?”

He reluctantly nodded.

“Alright, I’ll call your teacher.”

There was more awkward silence between us as Derek left to the side room again.

Phil was clearly getting worse with his shaking much more noticeable.

“A-Are you o-okay?” I whispered.

He shook his head silently.

I took his hand. “Y-you’ll be okay.”

“I-I hope so.”

I awkwardly comforted him as he started to cry again.

Dana rushed in with Phil’s bag and sat next to him.

“Alright, Phillip, your parents are at the office. Dana, do you want to walk him down?”

She nodded. “Are you good to go Phil?”

He nodded slightly and stood up.

They walked out of the room and I was once again alone with Derek.

“I f-feel bad for being here when he n-needed you more…”

“His parents are going to take him to someone who can help much more than I can.”

“I still f-feel bad though.” I murmured.

“You don’t have to.”

I didn’t respond

“Anyway, we can talk now.”

“Y-yeah.” I murmured.

“So what are we going to do, homeroom is going to finish any time now.”

“Well, what class do you have first?”

“I-I don’t know...I don’t th-think I h-have my timetable…”

He opened his laptop and searched up what I assumed to be my timetable. “Art.”

“O-Oh, okay.”

“Do you think you can go to art?”

“M-Maybe the l-last p-part of it.”

“So you just want to sit in here until then?”

“I-If thats okay with y-you?”

“Sure, I guess.” He shrugged.

“I-If anyone else c-comes though, I-I’ll leave.”

“Sounds alright to me.” He nodded.

I spent most of the time just sitting in silence.

“Hey, um, so art is nearly over, do you want to head down to graphics?” Derek asked after about an hour.

“I-I probably should, shouldn’t I-I?”

He nodded. “Do you want me to walk you down?”

“Yes please…”

He stood up and we made our way down the halls to the graphics classroom. Dana was already there.

“Th-thanks for b-bringing me here.” I whispered to Derek before he walked away.

“Feeling better?” Dana asked.

I nodded. “Y-Yeah, I guess so…” I murmured.

“That’s cool. Hey, you’re a bit behind on the assignment, but that’s okay. I’ll catch you up.”

“W-What is the assignment?”

“We’re just designing some furniture using the 3D modelling. It’s super fun, you’ll catch up in no time.”

“W-What if I don’t!?” I panicked.

“Relax, it’s easy. I’ll help you out.”

“Oh god. I’m gonna fail!”

Dana shook her head. “This is the easiest assignment ever. There’s no way you can fail. Come on, let’s go inside and get started.”

I walked inside and immediately walked up to the teacher. I took a deep breath. 

“C-Can you explain the a-assignment ro m-me?”

She nodded. “So basically, you start by sketching the furniture you want to make, and you have to make three pieces, and then you just model them using the software. I’m up to the modelling, but you just work on the sketching for now. The brief we got was furniture in our dream bedroom.”

I nodded. “Okay, th-thanks…”

She handed me my sketchbook and we sat down at the table. Dana went and grabbed a computer so she could work on the modelling.

I sketched out a few things but couldn’t settle on a design. I was getting very frustrated and I even considered seeing if I could somehow drop out of this class.

“Woah, that’s really cool.” Dana breathed.

“Oh, uh...th-thanks?”

She looked over my pages. “Kaitlyn, these are  _ really  _ good. I reckon this is A+ material right here.”

“Y-You really think so?”

She smiled. “Uh huh. Totally. I like this one the best.”

“I-I wasn’t too sure a-about that one…”

“I think it’s awesome.” She grinned. “Anyway, once you decide, grab a computer and I’ll show you a bit more on the modelling.”

I nodded. “O-Okay…”

I worked a bit more on my sketches until the bell rang. I hadn’t even started modelling yet.

“W-When’s it due?”

“3 weeks.”

I sighed in relief. “Okay, that’s good.”

“Want to go get some lunch?” She asked.

I shrugged. “I guess so.”

We gathered our things and walked outside, before heading to the cafeteria.

I sat down silently at the table and Dana got her food.

“Not hungry?” She asked.

“I’m n-never really hungry….”

She threw me an apple. “At least eat this.”

I took a small bite so I wouldn’t seem rude and placed the apple back on the table.

Dana sighed and just ate her own food.

“I know I’m a pain…” I whispered. I picked up the apple again and took another small bite.

“I wouldn’t say pain, Kaitlyn.” Dana tried to reassure. “You’re really awesome.”

“If you say so….” I fiddled with the fruit in my hands. “I really should finish this.” I sighed.

“It would probably be good if you did.”

I was silently eating away at the apple all through the lunch break and had almost finished it when the bell rang.

“English now.” Dana mumbled. “Let’s head to the lockers.”

“This is going to be a long day.” I sighed.

“It’s half over.” Dana offered.

I sighed. “Let’s just go.”

********Sarah’s Point Of View*******

“Nicole, can you do the washing please?” I asked. 

I was in a frantic rush to get everything clean before Brendon came home, and with Jaxon constantly wanting to play, I was struggling.

“You promised we’d play now!” Jaxon groaned.

“Look, I’m sorry. I thought I’d be done by now Jax.”

He sighed. “Whatever.”

I sighed and went back to washing the dishes. Nicole had left the door open so the puppies were constantly under my feet and everything was just a pain.

“Dammit. Jax, just play with the dogs, okay?”

“They’re boring!”

“No they’re not!” I snapped. “Play with the damn dogs and let me finish this before your father gets home!”

He started tearing up. “O-Okay Mommy…”

I walked back to the bedroom and finished fixing the sheets up, not really caring about how I’d made my son cry.

I then heard a knock at the door. 

“God dammit Brendon. Why is this the one time you’re early?” I muttered under my breath.

“Dad’s home!” Nicole grinned, going to answer the door.

I walked out, leaving the bed half made and wrapped Brendon in a hug. 

“I missed you so much.” I murmured.

“I missed you too.” He grinned, squeezing me tight.

“How was everything back home?” I asked, pulling away slightly.

“Good, good. Wonderful, actually.” He smiled.

I smiled slightly. “That’s great.”

He handed me a small wrapped box. “I brought you something.”

“You didn’t have to…”

He pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I wanted to.”

I opened the box and saw a beautiful necklace. “God, you spoil me Brendon.”

He grinned. “You deserve it.”

“I don’t know about that…” I sighed. “Sorry the house isn’t clean, by the way. I tried.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I don’t care about that stuff.”

“I do though….”

“Well, then I’ll finish it for you later. Let’s go relax for a bit. I’ve got some serious jetlag.”

I nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

We sat down on the couch and snuggled up. Jaxon groaned. “This is boring!”

I took a deep breath in. “Okay, what do you want to do Jaxon?”

“Play?”

“Really, right now?” I groaned.

He nodded. “I’ve been waiting all day.”

I sat down on the floor beside him. “What do you want to play with?”

“Daddy!”

Brendon rubbed his eyes and sat down too. “What’s up bud?”

“Let’s play a game! Can we do the racing cars on the TV?!”

He nodded. “Sure bud.”

Brendon got out the Xbox and sat Jaxon on his lap while he played Forza.

Brendon honestly looked like he was about to fall asleep. The jetlag must really be hitting hard this time.

“Here, how about you have a go with the remote, Jax, and you get some sleep Bren.” I suggested.

Brendon shook his head. “I’ll be fine.” He yawned. “But do you want a go Jax?”

He nodded and took the remote. He wasn’t very good, and kept crashing into things, but he seemed pretty excited by it.

Brendon just sat back and watched Jaxon enjoy himself before nodding off.

I couldn’t leave him, but I had to go get Kaitlyn from school.

“Alright, Nicole, look after Jax and Brendon. I’ll be back soon.”

She nodded and went back to her book.

I got in the car and drove to the school as fast as I can. Kaitlyn hopped into the car in silence, and I drove off, deciding to talk once we were home.

However, we weren’t even halfway home when she started crying.

“What’s up bub?” I asked, looking through the mirror to see her.

“I-I don’t e-ever wanna go b-back there e-ever!” She sobbed.

“Sshh, okay, what happened at school?”

She couldn’t even respond, she was crying so hard. I bit my lip nervously as I drove home. When we reached the house, she scrambled out of the car and raced to her room, ignoring Brendon and everyone else.

Brendon turned to me. “What happened?”

“I don’t know!” I exclaimed. “I picked her up, and she was silent, and then she started crying and the only thing I could get out of her was that she never wants to go back to school.”

There was a moment of silence as we waited for one of us to volunteer to try and talk to her.

“I’ll do it.” I sighed.

I walked into the room and she was just sitting on her bed crying.

“What’s wrong bub?” 

She choked back a sob, not saying anything.

I sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug. “Shh. Shh. What happened?”

She shook her head and just snuggled into me.

“Why are you upset bub?” I pushed slightly.

“I-I don’t w-want to t-talk about it.” She whimpered.

“I think we need to. Come on, what happened?”

She shook her head. “I-It’s fine.” She whispered.

“No, it’s not bub. Please, just tell me what happened.”

“E-Everybody l-laughed!” She burst into another round of tears.

“Why were they laughing? What happened?”

“I-In e-english…” She sniffled. “S-She m-made m-me r-read in f-front of e-everyone and t-then I c-couldn’t g-get it r-right and t-then I p-panicked and then e-everyone l-laughed!”

I held her close. “It’ll be alright.”

“I-I’m n-never g-going back!” She cried.

“I’m sorry bub, but you have to.”

“I-I’m not! I-I’m never going b-back!” She protested.

“Look, I know you’re upset right now and you’re obviously not thinking clearly, so do you want to come and say hi to your Dad? He just got back.”

She shook her head. “I hate b-both of you f-for making m-me go to school!”

I sighed. “Come on, let’s go.”

“I-I’m not going!” She sobbed, burying herself in the blankets on her bed.

I pulled the blankets off. “Yes you are. Come on. You haven’t seen Dad in a month and a half!”

“I don’t care.” She sniffled.

I sighed in defeat and left the room.

“What’s up?” Brendon asked.

“She’s being stubborn, as usual.”

He frowned slightly. “I’ll talk to her.”

“Okay. Good luck then.”

He nodded before disappearing into Kaitlyn’s room.

“Daddy spends too much time with Kaity.” Jaxon pouted.

“He just spent the last 2 hours with you Jax, that’s not true.”

“As soon as she comes home, she hogs him! It’s unfair Mommy!”

I gave him a warning look as I sat down.

“Why doesn’t she ever get in trouble? It’s unfair. I hate her!”

“Hey! No!” I snapped. “She gets in trouble when she does something wrong, Jaxon. And recently she’s been a lot less naughty than you.”

“I’m not naughty!” He protested. “You’re just a big meanie!”

“Time out.” I said firmly. “10 minutes.”

“No!” He shouted. “I’m not going!”

I lifted him up and put him in the corner, despite his squirming.

He kept trying to get out and was very, very persistent. “You’re a super big meanie!”

“If that’s what you want to believe.”

“I hate you!” He spat.

“20 minutes.”

He started trying to kick me. “I hate you, I hate you so much!”

I sighed and went to Kaitlyn’s room, where Brendon was sitting on the bed, talking.

“Look, I hate to break this up, but you have to go sort Jaxon out Bren. I can’t do this.”

“Why, what’s going on?”

“Apparently he hates me because I got mad at him for being insensitive.”

Brendon sighed. “Alright. I’ll be back little worm, okay?”

Kaitlyn glumly nodded.

Brendon raced out, and I just stayed in Kaitlyn’s room, not really saying anything. I could hear Jaxon yelling from in here.

“D-Did I upset him?” Kaitlyn whispered.

I shook my head. “Don’t worry bub. He’s just being a bit of a pain today.”

“So i-it is my fault?”

“Just, don’t worry.”

“I-It is!” She cried, burying herself back in the blankets.

“It’s not your fault bub. Jaxon’s just a bit confused and frustrated.”

She just continued crying.

“Please, don’t stress out about it bub.”

She kept crying.

I sighed. “What do you want me to do?”

The lump under the blankets shrugged.

I sighed once again. “I’ll be back soon.”

She just didn’t respond.

I walked out to the room and found Brendon crouched beside a crying Jaxon.

“What happened?”

“I-I’m sorry I was mean to y-you Mommy!” Jaxon cried. “I-I don’t h-hate you!”

“I know bud. Thanks for saying sorry. I forgive you.”

He sniffled slightly and sat down in the corner in silence.

“10 more minutes bud.” Brendon ruffled his hair.

He nodded and stared out the window.

Brendon smiled at me. “Want to make dinner with me Sarah?”

“Oh, uh, sure?”

He pressed a kiss to my cheek as he made his way to the kitchen.

“So what are we going to make?” I asked after following him to the kitchen.

He started pulling out random ingredients. “A famous Urie recipe. Mom taught me while I was away.”

“I see.” I smiled. “Now, are you going to burn it?”

He grinned at me. “That’s why you’re here.”

I gigged. “Sounds like a plan.”

He started stirring everything together in a saucepan as I watched over him and his cooking.

“Well, you’ve done well so far.” I praised.

He grinned. “Now turn around while I add the secret ingredient.”

I shook my head as I turned around. “Being very secretive, are we Mr Urie?”

“Is it exciting you?” He asked in a deep, smooth tone.

“Very.” I nodded.

He laughed. “Okay, you can turn around now.”

I turned around. “Your secret ingredient isn’t poisonous, is it Mr Urie?”

“Maybe.”

“I knew I couldn’t trust you with the dinner. Jeez, so irresponsible.” I teased.

He stirred the pot and smiled. “Smell this.”

I walked over and followed his instruction. “That smells amazing Bren!”

He smiled proudly. “Glad you think so.”

“You’re a better cook than I remembered.”

He shrugged. “Mom’s recipe.”

“Well I’m going to check on Jaxon. I’ll be back soon.

Brendon nodded. “I’ll just let this simmer, maybe go check on Kaitlyn.”

“Sounds good.”

I walked out to where Jaxon was, and I expected him to be growing impatient, but he was just sitting there.

“Hey bud.”

“Hey Mommy.”

“How’s it going?”

He shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

“Feeling a bit calmer?”

He nodded. “Yeah…”

“That’s good.”

“Can I play now?”

I looked down at my watch. “Five more minutes bud.”

He frowned. “Okay.”

I ruffled his hair before heading back to the kitchen.

“Bren, is it supposed to be smoking?” I called.

“Nope!” He yelled back.

I nervously stirred the pot, hoping it would settle down. With no luck, I went to Kaitlyn’s room to find Brendon.

“Sorry to interrupt again, but I think you need to come out here Bren.”

“But come listen to this Sarah!” He summoned me inside. “Go little worm, do it again.”

She shook her head.

He turned to me. “Did you know that she can sing?”

“Yeah?”

“Voice of an angel if you ask me!” He beamed. “Do it again little worm!”

She shook her head. “I-I can’t even s-sing well…”

“Of course you can little worm!” He encouraged. 

She nervously opened her mouth and began to sing Bren’s new song.

She was singing beautifully and was about to finish when all the smoke alarms started going off.

“What’s going on?” Brendon asked.

“I don’t know. Can you go check?”

Brendon opened the door and a massive cloud of smoke flooded the room.

“We need to get out.” He said, I could hear him starting to panic.

Kaitlyn gathered her blanket and her phone up in her hands. “O-Okay.”

Brendon raced out, hopefully to alert Nicole.

I coughed all the way to the bedroom as I fumbled for the birth certificates and passports and other important things.

“Sarah we have to go!” Brendon panicked, pulling me away. “The kitchen is all flames!”

We raced out of the house and watched as it got worse and worse.

The fire engine showed up and one of the firefighters came up to me.

“Ma’am, is there anyone else in the house?”

I looked around. “JAXON!”

Nicole’s face went a shade of white and she turned and sprinted into the burning house.

The firefighter ran up behind her and pushed her away before sprinting into the house.

“J-Jaxy NO!” Nicole cried, falling to her knees.

“It’ll be okay, they’ll get him.” Brendon tried to assure.

She curled into him and sobbed.

“Calm down, calm down.”

“H-He d-doesn’t k-know!”

The firefighter ran out with Jaxon and placed him on the grass. A group of paramedics came over to tend to him.

“He’s not breathing!” One of the paramedics shouted.

They brought over lots of machines and bags and it was chaos. Nicole was still sobbing into Brendon.

Kaitlyn was screaming.

Everyone on the street came over and tried to comfort us, to no avail.

The paramedics started treating Kaitlyn too, and checking the rest of us for smoke inhalation. They took Jaxon off to the hospital.

Standing around doing nothing was killing me, so I decided to call Gerard.

“I saw your house on the news!” Was the first thing I heard when he picked up.

“It’s just chaos Gerard. There’s no other way to put it. Jax is going to hospital, Kaitlyn is having a breakdown and well, no one is okay.”

“I’ll meet you at the hospital. Wait, do you need a ride?”

“Yeah…”

“I’m on my way.”

The house was almost put out, but I couldn't look at it. It was so much hard work, just, gone, like that. And it seemed as soon as one part was extinguished, another went up in flames.

“Calm down little worm! Please!” Brendon pleaded.

Kaitlyn just kept screaming and her hands were covering her ears. I wanted to give her the emergency medication to make it all better but it was all gone and I couldn’t help her at all.

The paramedics turned to me. “Another ambulance is on it’s way for her. We’re taking Jaxon in. Who’s coming?”

Nicole raced over. “I am.”

Brendon pushed her back. “No, I am.”

“B-But Jaxon!” She cried.

“Let her go Bren.” I whispered.

He sighed and stepped back. “Alright, you go Nicole.”

She raced in the ambulance and it drove off almost immediately.

I walked over to Brendon. Apparently it was my turn to break down now. I just started crying, non-stop.

He just hugged me and gently rocked us back and forth while our house blazed in the background.

“Why does bad stuff always happen?”

“I don’t know.”

“I hate to interrupt, but I need some help!” the paramedic called, attempting to restrain Kaitlyn who was starting to kick.

Brendon ran over and tried to help the paramedic as well as he could.

The second ambulance showed up with a team of people, and after gaining our permission, they had to sedate her to take her in.

Brendon rode with them to the hospital and I sat waited for Gerard.

Eventually he showed up, gasping at the site of the Urie house.

“There’s nothing left.” I whispered.

“T-That’s not true!” Gerard tried to convince. “You still have each other?”

“H-Hopefully.” I choked back a sob.

He led me to his car and drove me to the hospital, where we met up with Brendon and Nicole.

“D-Dad just caught a snorlax…” 

I just wrapped Nicole in a hug. “I-It’ll be okay.” I sniffled.

“H-He’s- H-He’s!” She cried, unable to form a sentence.

“Shh, it’s okay.”

“H-How did I f-forget him?!”

“I-I don’t know.” I whispered.

Brendon pushed his phone into his pocket and joined the hug. “He s-should be okay.”

“I-I’m just going to c-call some people.” I mumbled. Some people being Indigo and Dr Jo.

A doctor walked up to us and bent down. “I have some news.”

“W-What is it?”

“It’s about your son…”

“Please j-just get to it…”

He ran a hand through his hair. “We tried everything, we really did. But the smoke he inhaled was far too great. I’m sorry Mr and Mrs Urie. Jaxon is no longer with us.”


	19. Chapter 18 - The Urie Curse

I just froze, my brain not being able to comprehend the situation.

“W-What?” Nicole stammered in disbelief.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

She got up from the seat and ran out of the room.

Neither Brendon and I got up to chase her. We just sat and kept squeezing each others hands. With each tightening squeeze, it became clear that this was real.

“Do you want to come through and see him?”

As much as I knew it would hurt to see him again, I agreed, and so did Brendon.

The doctor let us through to the room, where his little body was curled up on the bed. He looked so small, and he was covered in ash. Brendon let out a sob.

“I’m such an idiot!” I cried. “I should be the one there! I’m so sorry Jaxon!”

“I s-should’ve come and got him.” Brendon sobbed, gently lifting his frail body into his arms.

“I-I’m sorry Jaxon. P-Please forgive me.” I blubbered. “B-Because I d-don’t know if I-I can forgive m-myself.”

Brendon started sobbing uncontrollably.

Gerard and Nicole soon joined us. I just fell to the ground, giving up on trying to compose myself.

“Y-You were such a good k-kid too.” I whimpered.

Nicole couldn’t stop crying, tears flowing uncontrollably.

“A-And we have to tell K-Kaitlyn.” I whispered.

The doctor returned with a grimace. “I have to ask you to leave.”

We just nodded, not being able to put up a fight any longer.

“I-I’m not l-leaving!” Nicole sobbed.

“Nicole, we have to. I’m sorry.”

She shook her head and cradled Jaxon in her arms as she sobbed uncontrollably.

I just wrapped Nicole in a hug. “We need to g-go. We’re only g-going to feel worse if w-we stay…”

“I-I can’t leave him! N-Not again!”

Gerard had to force her out of the room, but was trying to comfort her at the same time. We were all just messes. My phone, was blowing up with calls from friends, family etc. 

I answered the next call that came in. Brendon’s mom.

“Is everyone okay?” She rushed as soon as I picked up.

I choked back a sob. “N-No….”

I heard her gasp. “What’s wrong?!” 

“J-Jaxon…” I sobbed.

“What happened Sarah?!”

“I-I….I can’t t-talk right now. S-Sorry.”

“Please, just tell me what’s going on!”

“J-Jaxon….” I tried to say. “H-He’s g-g-gone.” I cried.

“D-Did he run away or something?”

“N-No…” I whimpered.

“O-Oh my god…” She stammered, realising what I’d said.

“I-I don’t know w-what to do.”

“Put B-Brendon on…”

I handed Brendon the phone and went back to just crying in this waiting room of sorts.

“H-He was only s-six!” Nicole sobbed.

“I-I know.” I sniffled.

She hugged me tight and cried into my shoulder.

“N-No, no, w-we’ll be okay. D-Don’t w-worry.” Brendon sniffled.

I looked up from the hug and watched Brendon pace around the room as he talked to his Mom.

“I-I can’t l-live without h-him.” Nicole sobbed.

“T-That’s not t-true!” I told her.

“Y-Yes it is!” She cried.

I hugged her tight, not wanting to cause any arguments.

“N-Nothing ever goes r-right.” She whispered.

“I think I should drive you home.” Gerard told us gently.

“W-We don’t have a home to go back to…” I whispered.

“Just come to my place. We have room…”

“Kaitlyn’s here, Gee. I have to stay with her. Take Bren and Nicole though.”

He nodded. “Alright…”

Brendon handed me back my phone. “Guess who’s flying back to LA tomorrow.”

I frowned slightly. “Alright…” I sighed. “Gerard’s going to take you and Nicole to his house for now.”

“But what about Kaitlyn?”

“I’m going to see her now.”

“I feel like I should come.”

“No, just, you go with Gerard.”

She shook his head and took my hand. “Let’s go.”

I didn’t argue, I just walked towards where I thought Kaitlyn’s room was.

Indigo was there, sitting outside with her head in her hands.

“W-What’s wrong?” I asked nervously.

“She’s been moved to a venting room. It’s not looking good.”

I was crying once again. “I-It’s all just too h-hard!”

Brendon hugged me without a word.

“W-What’s wrong with h-her now?”

“She’s having an episode by the looks of things.” Indigo explained glumly.

“C-Can we h-help at all? 

She shook her head. “We just have to let it run it’s course.”

“D-Did you h-hear about w-what happened?” I whispered.

She shook her head. “What happened?”

“J-Jaxon p-passed away.” I cried.

Her eyes widened as she took in the situation. “O-Oh my god…”

“H-He inhaled t-too much smoke and n-now he’s gone!”

She put a hand on a hand on my shoulder. “You should head home. I’ll watch Kaitlyn.”

“N-No, it’s okay…”

She shook her head. “Go home. Please.”

“I-I’m not ready to l-leave…”

“I think it’s going to hurt you even more if you stay. Sarah, you need time to grieve. And so do you Brendon.”

“I g-guess so…”

She nodded. “Go home tonight. I doubt you’ll be allowed to see Kaitlyn until the morning anyhow.”

“Alright…” I sighed. “I guess w-we’ll be back tomorrow.”

She smiled sadly at us and directed us to the exit.

We met up with Nicole and Gerard and had to endure a painfully silent drive.

“I called your psychologist Brendon, she wants to see you.” Gerard said eventually. “She said she has some other psychologists around for you guys too if you want…”

I took a deep breath. “Th-that might b-be for the b-best…”

“I d-don’t want to.” Nicole whispered.

“I-It m-might help?” I suggested, though I doubted anything would help us right now.

“I just want to cry. Or die.”

“J-just try. W-We won’t make you go a-again.”

She sniffled. “Fine. What’s the point?”

“I-I don’t know. To v-vent, I guess?”

She just sniffled. “I don’t know if anything is going to help me at this point.”

“I know. But we can at least try.:”

She nodded silently.

Once we had arrived, Lindsey ushered in and immediately tried to start comforting us.

Nicole just sat on the couch and stared at the wall blankly. Brendon went to the bedroom and cried. I sat with Lindsey and tried to hold back tears.

“I-I just wish I c-could go back and ch-change it a-all.” I whimpered.

“I know.” She patted my shoulder.

“W-What’s the time?”

Lindsey simply shrugged.

I gave up trying to talk and just tried to lay down and hopefully sleep. I was getting a bit droopy eyed until I heard Brendon scream.

I bolted up with a start and raced to the bedroom to find the cause.

He was sitting on the bed shaking and wide eyed. “F-First D-Damien and Lydia, n-now Jaxon!” 

“I-It wasn’t y-your fault B-Brendon…” I whispered.

“Y-Yes it is!” He started hyperventilating. “Why do I get to live!?”

Gerard walked in. “What’s going on?”

“I KILLED THEM! ALL OF THEM!” Brendon shouted.

“Let’s go see Dr Jo.” Gerard said calmly, taking his hand and leading him to the car. “Sarah, Nicole, come too.”

“I-I CAN'T! I’M GOING TO HURT HER TOO!”

Gerard surprisingly handled him very well as he led him to the car and even managed to convince Nicole to come.

Brendon got worse in the car with more screaming and he was kicking in some panicked frenzy.

Gerard was very calm, and by the time we got to Dr Jo’s office, he’d turned Brendon’s violence into some quiet sobbing. It was quite mesmerizing to watch.

“I-I don’t wanna go in.” Brendon whimpered.

“I know, but you have to.” Gerard told him.

“N-No I don’t.” He whispered shakily.

“She knows you’re coming. Let’s go in.”

Brendon gulped before following Gerard in.

Dr Jo met us in the waiting room and sent Nicole in to see another person and sent me in to see the woman I saw last time, before taking Brendon to his usual session.

******Brendon’s Point Of View******

“H-How long will this t-take?” I whispered.

“An hour. As usual Brendon.” Dr Jo informed me.

“Oh, o-okay…” I trailed off, waiting for her to start asking questions.

“So let’s start. What happened exactly?”

“W-What part? I-I was cooking then I w-went to talk to K-Kaitlyn and th-then the fire started, a-and then we rushed out b-but didn’t g-get Jaxon. I-It’s all my fault! I-I rushed everyone! N-Now he’s gone!” I cried, slumping into the couch.

Dr Jo was silent for a moment before she wrote some things down. “Okay, so, why were you cooking?”

“B-Because I w-wanted to be h-helpful and I w-was trying out this r-recipe and, and!” I sobbed.

She nodded. “So why did you leave the pot to go and see Kaitlyn?”

“She w-was just a b-bit sad so I w-wanted to h-help.”

“Why was she sad?”

“S-She had a b-bad day at school.” I sniffled.

Dr Jo nodded. “So, did you leave someone to watch the pot?”

I shook my head. “I-I didn’t think she’d be g-gone long but I g-got distracted.”

“I see. But you did tell her to watch it?”

“N-No….”

“Did she know that she was supposed to be watching it?”

“N-No….”

Dr Jo grimaced and wrote something else down. “How did you know that it was on fire then?”

“The s-smoke alarms started going o-off.”

“And what did you do when that happened?

“I-I opened the d-door of K-Kaitlyn’s r-room and l-lots of smoke c-came in so I t-tried to get everyone o-out.”

“And you managed to get Kaitlyn and Sarah out?”

“A-And Nicole.”

“Isn’t that something to be proud of? You saved 3 lives today Brendon.”

“B-But Jaxon!” I cried.

“Brendon…” She whispered. “I don’t think I can really help. You need to grieve.”

I curled up on the couch. “I-I can’t do this.”

“Brendon, what you’re going through is completely normal.” She assured. “I know it feels hopeless, but you’ll recover. I promise.”

“I-I j-just miss him s-so much already.”

“So do I, honestly.”

I just wanted to go home, but then remember there was no home to go back to, and my tears deepened.

Dr Jo even got teary eyed and wiped a stray tear away.

“D-Do I h-have to t-talk anymore?”

“Brendon, if you just want to cry, that’s fine by me.”

I nodded before laying down on the couch and gave up on whatever was holding all the tears in.

I just remained like that until the session was over.

“Alright Brendon, the-” She was cut off by a bunch of fire alarms.

“N-Not again!” I cried, curling up into a tight ball.

She sighed. “I can’t believe I forgot about the drill. Brendon, come on, we have to go outside.”

I shook my head and froze up. “I-I can’t!”

Dr Jo took my hand and led me out of the office to the grass outside. Sarah looked quite visibly upset, and Nicole was rolling on the ground, crying hysterically.

I just sat down, curled up in a ball, panicking to an unexplainable extent. Whatever else was happening around me started to seem insignificant and it felt like I was trapped in my head. I was terrified.

“Brendon? Brendon what’s going on?!”

“I-I d-don’t kn-” I tried to say.

Dr Jo bent down. “Talk to me Brendon. What’s happening?”

“I-I can’t c-control- I-I don’t know! I-I’m scared!” I cried.

She took my hands. “Deep breaths. In and out. In and out.”

I tried to follow her direction but it seemed the hyperventilating got worse.

“O-Okay, just keep trying Brendon. In and out. Sarah, call an ambulance.”

“W-Why c-can’t I breathe?!” I wheezed, panicking more so.

“Because you’re having a panic attack, Brendon. But please, you have to keep trying.”

Just her saying that seemed to make it worse, but I continue trying to breathe.

I heard sirens approaching and within minutes I was sitting in the back of an ambulance with an oxygen mask strapped to my face as I continued crying.

“I-I thought this w-would stop h-happening...” I whimpered.

“Brendon, it’s okay.” Dr Jo assured.

“N-No it’s not!” I cried.

“It is.”

“I d-don’t want any m-more stupid panic attacks!” I sobbed.

She sighed and stroked my hair.

I just continued sobbing.

Dr Jo spoke to the paramedics before coming back. “Good news, they’re not taking you in.”

I sighed in relief. “G-Good. I-I don’t ever w-want to go b-back to a hospital.”

“In other news, they’re taking Nicole in however.”

“I-Is she okay?”

She winced. “Not really.”

I frowned. “Oh…”

“Are you ready to come out of the ambulance now?”

“I guess so…” I murmured.

Dr Jo took the oxygen mask off and helped me out of the back of the ambulance, where I was greeted by the sight of Sarah holding a sobbing Nicole while the paramedics tried to talk to her.

“It’s alright, it’ll be okay.” Sarah tried to comfort.

“I-It’s n-not okay!” Nicole sobbed. “H-He’s gone b-because I d-didn’t s-save him!”

“It’s not your fault Nicole.”

“We need to take her in.” The paramedic put a hand on Sarah’s shoulder.

Sarah glumly nodded and helped them get Nicole into the ambulance.

“What’s wrong particularly?” I asked.

“We don’t know exactly,” A paramedic started. “But it seems she’s just in a state of hysteria, so we need to get her to a place where she can get better help.”

I nodded unsurely as I felt Sarah take my hand.

“Is anyone coming with us?”

“I will.” Sarah nodded.

I stepped back and allowed Sarah to get in with Nicole. I sat back down on the grass and waited for some kind of instruction.

“Do you want a ride to the hospital Brendon?” Dr Jo asked.

“Yes please…”

She smiled slightly and led me to her car.

I sat silent in the passenger seat, and was slightly nervous as I thought about the crash, but brushed it off, so I’d be fine to see Nicole.

“Well, we’re here. Do you want me to come in with you?”

“Only if you want to…” I murmured, getting out of the car.

She got out and followed me inside, and we met up with Sarah. I was a little upset over the fact that I knew my way around this building so well by now.

“H-How is it?” I asked nervously.

Sarah sighed. “Suicidal thoughts, extreme grief, etcetera.”

I frowned. “W-Will she be okay?”

“Should be.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“We can go see Kaitlyn while we’re here…”

“Alright, well, let’s go.”

She walked me down to a room. Kaitlyn was sleeping when we arrived.

I smiled slightly, glad to know that she was safe. I then felt guilty for smiling after what had happened and my face fell once again.

Sarah sat down and sighed. “She’s pulled more hair Bren.”

“Well I can’t say I’m surprised…”

“She worked so hard to grow it back…” Sarah sounded upset.

“And I’m sure she’ll get back to that, but frankly Sarah, everything is falling apart. We’re all basically back to square one. Even me.” I sighed.

Sarah started crying.

I wrapped in a side hug, of sorts. “It’ll be okay.” I tried to soothe.

“No it’s not!” She exclaimed. “Kaitlyn’s a mess, Nicole’s a mess, no offence but you’re a bit of a mess, and I’m a mess too. And Jaxon is…DEAD!”

She burst into a fit of tears.

“I-I’m sorry…” I whimpered, before bursting into tears.

Gerard walked into the room to find us both sobbing uncontrollably.

He just sat down, deciding not to intervene, which was probably a good choice.

“Has she been pulling more hair?” He sighed, looking at Kaitlyn.

Sarah sniffled and nodded.

“That sucks…”

I nodded silently.

Gerard bit his lip. “I have some bad news…”

“D-Don’t say i-it! I-I don’t w-want anymore b-bad news!” I cried.

“We, um, we don’t have room in our house for everyone….” He explained awkwardly. “We’ve booked you a hotel room though.”

“Th-thanks Gerard.” Sarah whispered.

I hated hotels. I was just the uncomfortable feeling of being somewhere unfamiliar that got to me. Then again, that was probably going to be our reality for a little while.

“You can stay at our place all day if you want… we just don’t have the beds…”

“We’ll w-work something o-out.” Sarah assured.

“We are sorry about this, we truly are.” Gerard tried to apologise.

“N-No, it’s okay. It’s n-not your fault.”

“We’ll help you with all the insurance stuff.”

“Th-thank you so much G-Gerard.” Sarah sniffled.

“It’s okay… it’s probably the least you deserve after all this crap that the world has put you through.”

‘We’re never given more than we can handle.’ I kept telling myself, hoping the hurt would just go away.

Sarah took my hand. “I sure hope so Bren.”

I cuddled up closer to her. “My Mom wouldn’t lie to me.” 

“W-What’s going on?” A small voice asked from the bed.

“K-Kaitlyn?” 

She looked up at me. “W-Why are you crying?”

I sniffled. “A-A lot has h-happened little worm.” 

“O-Oh.”

“ I-It’s probably easier i-if I just say it…” I took a deep breath in. “J-Jaxon’s gone…” 

Kaitlyn was silent.

“A-Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know.”

“I-It’s okay if you’re n-not.” 

“I d-don’t think I am…”

“D-Do you want to talk to s-someone?” 

“I think I just want to cry.”

“That’s f-fine.” I assured.

So Kaitlyn cried. In fact, we all just cried. And it didn’t seem like it was stopping anytime soon.

And then Dr Jo walked in.

“O-Oh, h-hi.” I stammered, trying to wipe away my tears.

“Hi everyone.” She said quietly as she sat down.

“W-Why are you here?” I asked, hoping I didn’t seem rude.

“I just came to see how you were doing, and also to let you know that I’m heading home now.”

“Oh, o-okay…” I whispered.

She gave everyone a sad smile before leaving the room.

“W-What’s the time G-Gerard?” 

“5’oclock.”

“O-Oh, okay, thanks.” 

“Why?”

“I-I don’t know...” 

“What times does visiting hours finish?”

“8, 9? I-I don’t know.” 

“I d-don’t want you to leave!” Kaitlyn panicked.

“We aren’t g-going to leave j-just yet.” 

She breathed a sigh of relief.

The room once again fell silent, with a few sobs here and there. It was hard to try and get used to this.

“How are you feeling now bub?” Sarah asked finally.

“I-I don’t know….” She whispered.

Sarah ran a hand through her hair. “It’s going to be hard for a while…”

“Y-Yeah…” 

“But we’ll get through it. Together.”

Kaitlyn nodded. “H-Hopefully.” 

“No, we  _ will.  _ Not hopefully, not maybe, certainly.”

“O-Okay..., um, can I t-talk about w-what happened at school?” 

“Y-Yeah, of course.” I answered. 

“Um….w-where is it o-okay for a b-boy to touch you?” 

I froze.

“Um… Did a boy touch you Kaitlyn?” Sarah asked nervously.

“M-Maybe?” She stammered.

“Where?”

“U-Uh….” She stuttered nervously.

“Where?” I asked again.

“N-No, it’s doesn’t m-matter…”

“It sure as hell does Kaitlyn. Tell me.” I sounded a lot angrier than I expected to.

“H-He p-put his h-hand d-down my b-bottoms….” She sniffled

“I’m gonna kill him.” I stated.

“N-No, don’t h-hurt anyone. I-It doesn’t m-matter!”

“Kaitlyn this is teetering on sexual abuse and if you don’t tell me who it is right now, there’s going to be  _ severe  _ consequences.” I sounded really angry.

“I-I don’t know h-his name!” She cried.

“Well, I’m going to call the school.” I stated before walking out of the room.

I heard her crying get worse as I dialled the number.

“Hello?” Someone answered, sounding slightly annoyed. I just remembered that everyone would be going home now.

“Apparently my daughter is being harassed by male students at your school.” I stated gravely.

“Oh, I see. And who’s your daughter?

“Kaitlyn Urie.”

“Alright. Do you know any of the names of the students who did this?”

“No.”

“Well there’s not much I can do for you, sorry.”

“I swear to god, you find out who did this or the whole world is going to know that students at your school prey on their female counterparts.” I growled.

“What am I supposed to do Mr Urie?”

“Investigate! Ask around! I’ll get a physical description for you.”

“Okay. Thank you Mr Urie.”

I growled once last time before hanging up.

I walked back into the room and it seemed like Kaitlyn was about to have a panic attack.

“They’re going to find out.”

“N-No!” She cried. “I shouldn’t h-have told you.”

“Why not bub? We need this to stop happening.”

“N-Now you’re going to g-get mad at me f-for letting him do i-it!”

“It’s not your fault Kaitlyn.”

“I-I wanted to p-push him off b-but I d-didn’t w-want to get in t-trouble!”

I sighed. “Kaitlyn, self-defence is not a crime.”

“B-But N-Nicole got in t-trouble for f-fighting s-someone.” 

“Yeah, but she progessed it further. If you’re only protecting yourself and not hurting anyone else, that’s fine.”

“O-Oh…” She whispered. “L-Luckily the b-bell rang b-beofre he could d-do anything a-anyway…”

I sighed.

“I don’t even know why I told you. It was nothing…”

“It’s something bub…” Sarah looked upset.

“W-Why are y-you getting s-sad? I-I’m sorry…”

“It’s not you bub.” She assured.

“O-Okay…” She answered unsurely.

The room once again fell silent.

“I-I think his n-name was Darcy…” She whispered.

“I’m going to kill this  _ Darcy. _ ”

“No, n-no, don’t hurt him, p-please.” She pleaded.

“Why are you defending him?!”

“B-because he didn’t d-do anything w-wrong.”

“He did! Kaitlyn, he touched you! In an inappropriate way!”

“I-It’s fine D-Dad.”

“It’s not!” I exclaimed loudly. “It’s not okay!”

“W-Why not?”

“Because it’s inappropriate and if he thinks he can get away with that, he’s going to think he can get away with things that are much worse!”

“I-It was j-just a l-little uncomfortable, that’s all.”

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.

“I-Im sorry D-Dad…”

“Don’t be sorry.” I sighed. “Just… know that it’s wrong.”

“Okay…”

“Good.”

“B-But he’s not g-going to be in b-big trouble, w-will he? I-I don’t want h-him to be m-mad at me f-for telling you…”

“Why don’t you want him to be mad?”

“B-Because he m-might b-be mean to me.”

“You are really hard to get across too.” I muttered.

“I’m sorry Dad. I just don’t think this is important.”

I bit on my lip to try and stop another outburst.

“Maybe if he progressed I’d care a bit more.”

“Look, Darcy is going to be punished for doing the wrong thing so he won’t progress any further, okay?”

“Fine…”

“Thanks.”

She stared at me before slowly drifting to sleep.

“Should we go see Nicole?” Sarah asked.

I nodded. “That’s probably a good idea.”

We left Kaitlyn to sleep and found Nicole’s room. She was awake already, just sitting with her knees tucked up to her chest and staring out the window.

“Hi…” I whispered.

She murmured something almost silently.

“How are you going bub?” Sarah asked.

“N-Not great…” She admitted.

“Is there any way we can help?”

She shook her head. “No, n-not really.”

Sarah smiled sadly and hugged her.

“Th-thanks.” She sniffled. “I-It’ll probably be a-awhile b-before I a-accept it though.”

“Us too bub. But as we said to Kaitlyn, we’ll get through this together.”

She nodded and snuggled into Sarah’s arms. “S-Sorry for having a breakdown.”

“It’s okay. We understand.”

“You guys are the best parents ever.”

Sarah and I both blushed.

“How are you guys?”

“We’re doing okay.” Sarah assured. “Not great, but okay.”

She nodded unsurely.

A doctor walked in. “Mr, Mrs Urie, can I talk to you?”

Sarah and I looked at each other. “Sure.”

We walked out and I took Sarah’s hand.

“So I need to talk to you about Nicole.”

“Yeah?” I asked.

“S-she’s okay, right?” Sarah asked nervously.

“Well…”

Sarah squeezed my hand tighter.

“We have a diagnosis…” He explained.

I took a deep breath in. “Okay.”

“Nicole has Huntington's Disease.”

“W-What is that exactly?”

He handed us a leaflet. “I’ll let you read this.”

“Oh, um...okay. Thanks, I suppose.”

He left and Sarah sat down on a chair to read the leaflet. It seemed pretty happy and colourful, so I didn’t expect it to be anything too bad.

“ Huntington’s disease is a neurological (nervous system) condition caused by the inheritance of an altered gene. The death of brain cells in certain areas of the brain results in a gradual loss of cognitive (thinking), physical and emotional function. Huntington's disease is a complex and severely debilitating disease, for which there is no cure.” Sarah read.

I fell silent.

Sarah took a deep breath. “I don’t even want to know what else it says.”

“I don’t either.” I placed the leaflet on the seat and just stared at the wall.

Sarah lifted it back up. “But I think we need to Bren… this is what our daughter has…”

“HD symptoms fall into three types, being physical, cognitive and emotional. Physical symptoms include:  Mild twitching of the fingers and toes, Lack of coordination and a tendency to knock things over, Walking difficulties, Dance-like or jerky movements of the arms or legs (chorea), Speech and swallowing difficulties.  Cognitive symptoms include:  Short-term memory loss, Difficulties in concentrating and making plans.  Emotional symptoms include:  Depression (around one third of people with Huntington's disease experience depression), Behavioural problems, Mood swings, apathy and aggression.”

My mind was just telling me that if I ignored it, it would just go away so that was my plan. I would just ignore it.

Sarah kept reading in silence.

“Do you ever think that we may be cursed?” I asked her.

“Maybe Bren…” She whispered, not really looking up from the leaflet.

“I don’t know. Just an odd thought.”

Sarah finished reading and threw the leaflet on the floor.

“W-What’s wrong?”

“It just all fits Bren…” She whispered. “The aggression, the fights, the behavior, it all just fits.”

I sighed. “Well, at least we have an answer.”

Sarah got teary. “This is not a good answer! This answer leads to death!”

“I-I know, b-but…” I was silent as I tried to finish.

Sarah hugged me before full-on bursting into tears.

We just sat and sobbed in each other’s arms. There was no way the could expect me to believe this.

“W-We should p-probably g-go in a-and see h-her.” Sarah whispered.

I nodded and got up. We entered the room and Nicole forced a smile.

“You were gone for quite awhile…”

Sarah was trying desperately to look positive, but I could see inside that she was falling apart.

“I know bub. We just had to talk to the doctor.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Um…. not really…”

“Oh...well, can you tell me?”

“You, um, you have Huntington’s Disease.” Sarah explained nervously, placing the leaflet on the bed.

She sighed and pushed the leaflet away. “Okay.”

“Are you going to read it?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I already know about it.”

“Huh?”

“My old school councillor said I was showing symptoms so I researched it in the library.”

“And you didn’t tell us?” Sarah asked.

“Well, I didn’t work out how to tell you I may have something that could potentially lead to death, so no, I didn’t tell you.”

I silently tapped the bedframe with my finger.

“So, sorry, I guess….”

“We’re going to have to figure out how to manage this…” Sarah mumbled, pulling out her phone. “So we’re going to need to find a good doctor, and we’ll have to talk to the school, we’ll have to tell Kaitlyn too, god…”

She frowned. “I guess so.”

“Jesus Nicole… this is huge...”

“I know.” She sighed. “This is why I didn’t tell you. You just stress.”

“Because this is a really big thing to stress about!” Sarah exclaimed. “All this time, you could have been getting treatment and stuff to help with the symptoms increase your lifespan!”

She shrugged. “It’s too late now anyway.”

“No it’s n-not!” Sarah’s voice started to tremble.

“It’s progressed too far for most treatments to actually work. You can try, I guess.”

I turned to Sarah. “How long does it say she has?”

“15-25 years, but about 7-13 of a normal life I guess.”

“See, that’s ages! You have nothing to worry about!”

“Nicole, I don’t think you understand the severity of this situation.” I explained while Sarah started crying.

“It’s not that bad. You don’t have to worry.”

“It’s really bad!” Sarah cried, melting into my arms.

“This is why Jaxon dying is so hard! I was supposed to die ages before him!” 

“That’s  _ enough  _ Nicole, you’re making your mother cry.” I said firmly, holding Sarah close.

“I’m the one that’s dying! I’m just trying to explain everything but you keep pushing me away! THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T KNOW THESE THINGS!”

I folded my arms. “Fine. Explain then.”

“So basically, I’ve had this for ages and whenever I tried to confront Mom about it, she didn’t care. It was like asking for any help with Jax, so when I met you Sarah, I had completely forgotten, obviously I still had the symptoms but I did such a good job of blocking it out. I actually went to talk to the councillor Kaitlyn always goes to so I could talk to him about her, and he brought it up again.”

“And you just kept blocking it out?”

She nodded. “I didn’t want to have to deal with it.”

“We could have helped you.”

“I know, and I should’ve said something, I’m sorry.”

“Well, I guess we just have to take it from here.” I sighed.

She nodded. “We can talk to the doctors and ask about options?”

“I guess we’ll have to.”

“Can I….” She started to say. “Can I have a hug?”

“Of course.” I hugged her tightly.

“S-Sorry for not s-saying anything.” She sniffled.

“It’s okay. We still love you.”

“Th-thanks Dad.”

I smiled and ruffled her hair.

She giggled slightly before snapping back to silence.

“What’s up?”

“I-I shouldn’t b-be happy.”

“Why?”

“B-Because of everything that’s h-happened recently.”

“It’s good that you’re staying positive though.”

She blushed slightly. “I like smiling.”

“So do I.” I grinned.

The doctor from before walked in. “So how is everything going in here?”

Nicole shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”

“Well, good news is, we can release you now. We’re confident you’re well enough to go home.”

She grinned. “Awesome!”

“Yep. So just make sure you follow up with a specialist, and you can go. Mr Urie, can you sign the paperwork?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

He handed me a clipboard and I signed everything that needed to be signed.

I handed it back to him and he smiled before leaving the room.

Nicole climbed out of the bed. “I’m ready to go.”

We walked out to the lobby area and the doctor from before led us to where a specialist was we could talk to.

“I thought we were going home.” Nicole mumbled.

“We will soon, I promise.”

“I don’t want to go in here.” She whispered.

“It’ll be alright, come on.”

“But I know what they’re going to say… and I really don’t want to hear it.”

“Please Nic, it won’t be long, and it’s better if we know.”

“Quick summary. It’s rare in someone this young… could be good or bad but they don’t know yet… symptoms are gonna ruin my life and then I’m gonna die. Can we go home now?”

“No, come on.”

She was silent as we walked into the office.

The specialist was a young-looking woman, maybe teetering on 30, with bright red hair and a pair of round black glasses. She smiled at us as we walked in.

“Hey…” Nicole whispered, sitting down.

“Hi everyone. It’s nice to meet you all. My name is Dr Rachel Conningham and I’m going to be your specialist.”

Sarah and I gave a small smile and waited for her to continue.

“So, let’s start. Have you been noticing any of the symptoms yet?”

Nicole nodded. “I have for years.”

“What ones?”

“I don’t know...just like, lots of stuff feeling different, and I act differently.”

She tapped some stuff into the computer. “Okay, and how long have you been experiencing that?”

“2, 3 years, maybe?”

“And have you ever gotten any treatment for it?”

She shook her head. “None.”

“Well, we might see if we can change that fact. Have you been getting any of the other symptoms?”

“Not really, well, not in any significant form.”

“What sort of minor things are you getting?”

“Well there’s a few like, jerky movements, but they occur in fits, almost.”

“Alright. That’s good. Any figiting or lack in concentration?” Dr Rachel asked.

“Only a little bit. Very rarely though.”

“Well, it seems you have some mediocre symptoms at the moment, which is quite good when looking at possible treatments.” Dr Rachel smiled. “Although I can’t guarantee that the symptoms won’t get worse.”

Sarah and I nodded. “So what can we do?”

“Well, at the moment, we can start on some medication to help with the behavioral problems. If any other symptoms arise or get much more serious, then we can look at a whole bunch of other treatments to help out with those. But at the moment what’s important is making sure that she stays active and eats healthy.”

We nodded.

“Of course.” I said.

Dr Rachel smiled and handed Sarah an envelope. “What’s important for you two as parents is to ensure that you don’t go internet searching. Everything you need to know is in here. There’s so much incorrect information out there.”

“Okay, so if we have any questions, come to you?”

She nodded. “I’m pretty much the most reliable source for information on HD, especially in young people.”

I smiled. “That’s great.”

She printed out a prescription and handed it to Sarah. “So basically, we’ll just have a check-up every month or so to see how she’s going and discuss anything that comes up.”

“Okay, that’s fine.”

The doctor then took a bunch of measurements of height and weight and blood pressure and all that, much to Nicole’s disgust. But she cheered up when she was allowed to sit back with us.

“Well, that’s about it for now. I suppose I’ll see you next month.”

We all said our goodbyes and I took Sarah’s hand as we walked out.

“Well, that sucked.” Nicole muttered.

“It wasn’t too bad.”

“The objectifying has started already.” She whispered.

“It’s alright.”

“How are we getting to um… where are we staying and how are we getting there?”

“Those are some good questions…” I murmured.

“Didn’t Gerard book us a hotel room?” Sarah asked.

I nodded. “Dunno where it is though.”

“Maybe we should call him.” Nicole suggested.

“Yeah, I will.” Sarah volunteered.

Nicole and I sat on the bench outside the hospital waiting for Sarah to make the call.

It was about 10 minutes before she’d finished and joined us. 

“Lindsey is going to take us to the hotel.”

“Oh good.” I breathed a sigh of relief.

“So now we just have to wait.”

“Are you guys gonna get all weird and protective now that you know?” Nicole asked, swinging her legs in the air.

“Probably.” I breathed.

She sighed.

“So now everyone’s protective of everyone.”

She groaned and rested her head on my shoulder. “I just don’t want you to look at me differently.”

“We’ll try not to, It’s just hard.”

“I know…”

Lindsey pulled up and we all got into the car.

“Hey everyone!” She chirped. “How’s everyone holding up?”

I shrugged. “It could be better.”

“That’s understandable…” She murmured. “Anyway, the hotel is nice. There’s a pool downstairs, if you’re into that.”

“You shouldn’t have spent much…” 

“We got a good deal, the manager is a fan of Gerard’s.” She winked.

I chuckled slightly. “That’s pretty cool.”

“Apparently he’s a fan of you as well, so if a staff member knocks on your door and asks for an autograph… well, there is a chance of that happening.”

I grinned. “Awesome.”

She pulled up at a rather fancy looking tower. “Well, here we are. I brought you guys some clothes considering, well, all yours were…”

“You’re awesome Lindsey. Thank you so much.”

She smiled at us. “No problem Urie’s. I’ll see you tomorrow. Just call me when you want to come over, and I’ll help you with all the insurance stuff.”

“Thanks. We’ll see you then.”

We got out of the car and Sarah went to the reception and got the room key, before we piled into the elevator and went up to the 16th floor.

“I feel so bad…” I murmured.

“What are we supposed to do though?” Sarah asked as she handed me a room swipe key.

“I don’t know…” I answered as I opened up the room.

“Woah…” Nicole breathed. “This is fancy!”

I nodded. “It is indeed.”

Nicole was smiling as she raced around, checking everything out.

“This is awesome!”

I opened the mini-bar and found a note saying that it was all complimentary. “Sweet!”

Sarah came up behind me. “Of course you go straight to the food.” She giggled.

I threw Nicole a chocolate bar. “Dig in, it’s free!”

“Woo! Chocolate!” She grinned. “Thank Dad!”

Sarah put a hand on my shoulder. “Bren, she’s supposed to be eating healthy.”

“Come on Sarah, I’m not going to be  _ that  _ mean.”

“I know… but I’m not sure if we should be taking risks…”

“I won’t give her much. I take full responsibility if something stems from it, okay?”

Nicole threw it back at my feet. “Fine. Whatever. See, stuff like  _ this  _ is why I didn’t want you to know!”

I sighed. “Please don’t be mad Nicole.”

She stormed off into the other bedroom and slammed the door behind her.

I frowned and slumped into the couch.

Sarah rubbed her forehead. “This is going to be hard.”

I nodded. “I just wanted to make her happy...”

Sarah handed me back the chocolate. “I doubt she still wants it, but if she does…”

I took it to the door and knocked on the door.

“Go away.” She sobbed.

I walked in and sat down next to her on the bed. “What’s wrong?”

“E-Everything!” She cried.

“What in particular?”

“J-Jaxon, the h-house, the f-fact that y-you know.”

“You know what makes it better?” I asked.

“W-What?”

“Chocolate.”

“I-I’m not allowed i-it.”

I unwrapped the chocolate and threw it on her hand. “Well, you touched it, and now you’re obligated to eat it.”

“I-I’m not hungry…” She handed it back to me.

“But you touched it. So now you have to eat it. I’ll eat some too!”

“I-I’m not hungry!” She repeated.

I opened my own chocolate and took a bite out of it. “Mmmmm!”

She just curled up with the pillow and continued crying.

I sighed. “Nic, come on, it’s not that bad. Please.”

She shook her head. “I-I just wanna cry.”

I laid down on the bed. “Well, at least let me sit with you.”

“O-Okay…” She whimpered.

She cried, and I sat in silence and listened for about half an hour until Sarah walked in and wrapped Nicole in a hug without a word.

“I w-wanna go home.” She whispered.

“I know bub. We just need to get one first.”

Nicole curled up in Sarah’s arms and continued crying.

Sarah gently stroked her hair and looked over at me sadly.

We sat like that for awhile until Sarah’s phone started ringing. She handed it to me as she continued trying to soothe Nicole.

I answered it. “Hello?”

“Is this Mrs Urie?”

“It’s Mr Urie.”

“Even better. This is the Los Angeles Fire Department, we’re just here to talk to you regarding two dogs that were found at your house.”

“Opal and Ollie!”

“So are the two Border Collies yours sir?”

“Yes, yes, they are.” I grinned.

“Delightful. Would you like to pick them up, or is there a location you’d like us to take them to?”

I gave them Gerard’s address, while sending Gee a text with my own phone to let him know.

The person on the other end of the line hung up and I got to tell the girls the good news, assuming they hadn’t caught on already.

“That’s great Bren!” Sarah grinned.

Nicole wiped her nose on my sleeve. “I miss Jax.”

“I know Nicole, so do I.” I rubbed her back lightly.

“H-He was supposed to o-outlive me! N-Not the other w-way around!” She cried.

“I know, I know. It’ll be alright.”

She just continued crying.

“Did you see any restaurants or anything around Bren? Lindsey gave me some money and it’s probably best if we eat something that’s not chocolate.”

“I think there might be something downstairs.” I murmured. “This is a fancy place, there’s bound to be things downstairs.”

“Alright, do you guys want to get changed?”

“I’m not hungry.” Nicole sniffled.

Sarah sighed. “Well, I’ll go for a walk and see if I can get some takeaway or something.”

“No, I think we could all do with some fresh air. Let’s just go. You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to.” I said, getting up from the bed.

Nicole got up and ended up following us, though her head was hung and she was holding back tears the entire way.

We ended up at a poolside restaurant. Sarah and I grabbed a table, while Nicole walked down to the pool and dipped her feet in the water.

She stayed there for a little while and splashed the water a little bit. I even saw a small smile sprouting.

“She seems to be feeling better.” Sarah noted.

I nodded. “Definitely.”

Sarah stirred her drink. “I read everything in the packet that the doctor gave us.”

“Anything stick out?”

“God Bren… we’re in for a tough journey. We’ve got to get through the behavioural stuff, but then comes the problems with the involuntary movements and then she’s probably going to stop walking and then it’ll go to 24-hour care and then…”

I frowned slightly. “We’ll get through it though. It’ll be hard, hell yes, but we’ll get through it.

“I think we are cursed, Bren.” She sighed. “Nothing ever seems to go right. It’s just one thing after another.”

“I know.” I sighed. “But, there’s was a good thing. The dogs, remember?”

Sarah half-smiled. “I guess so.”

“Maybe we just have to create the happy stuff, the memories.”

She nodded. “Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.”

Nicole came walking towards us. “Lindsey said she brought clothes. Did she get any swimmers?”

I handed her the room key. “Not sure. Go up and look. And bring me some if you find any.”

She took the key and raced to the room.

The waiter brought our food out and we smiled. It seemed that things were starting to turn around.

After a little while, I’d almost finished my drink and Nicole came down, changed into swimmers. She threw me a pair of board shorts and a towel, before jumping into the water.

I quickly got changed and joined her and we started messing around and splashing each other.

“You meanie!” She pouted, splashing me as best she could.

“Splashing is my specialty.” I laughed, splashing her back. Sarah got caught in the crossfire and helped Nicole cover me completely in water. Cold water, to be exact.

“You guys are the meanies!” I laughed, diving under the surface and swimming to grab Nicole from underwater.

She squealed as I grabbed her and tried to swim away.

“Time to eat my prey!” I giggled, dragging her under the waterfall.

Once we were under the waterfall, she wrapped me in a huge hug. 

“Thanks Dad.” She smiled.

I hugged her back. “No problems Nic.”


	20. Chapter 19 - Nothing Will Ever Be The Same

The next week flashed by.

Sarah and Lindsey sorted out everything with the insurance company, and we did a bit of house shopping. There was also the mourning of Jaxon, and the planning of the funeral.

Which was where we all stood now. It was a small service, with simply Me, Sarah, Nicole, Kaitlyn, Gerard, Lindsey, Bandit and Dr Jo.

Nicole took my hand and squeezed it tight. I knew she hated this, but it needed to be done. We’d barely scraped through the eulogies without breaking down, though I was sure we would last much longer.

The priest spoke for a while about Jaxon, and about loss, before the coffin was lowered into the ground and we all cried.

Nicole had given up on composing herself and just held onto me as she sobbed.

I held her close while sobbing myself. Even Dr Jo shed a few tears. I think the only person who didn’t was Bandit, but she didn’t really understand what was going on.

“I-I wanna leave.” Nicole whimpered.

“We just have to stay to the end of the service.” I whispered back.

“I-I don’t know if I c-can…”

“Just hang on. It’ll be over soon.”

She had to look away, and buried her face into my chest.

I took Sarah’s hand for the rest of the service, before we were directed to a small chapel for some afternoon tea.

Nicole sat down in a corner of the room in silence and didn’t move.

“It was a beautiful service.” Gerard said, handing me a sausage roll.

I sighed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Nicole didn’t seem to like it.” Lindsey noted, looking over at the corner. Bandit had taken it upon herself to sit down next to her and cuddle her.

“She barely got through it.”

“Is she coping with everything?” Lindsey sounded slightly worried.

“She’s trying to. It’s really hard on her though.”

“I can imagine…”

“I’m going to talk to her.”

“Have fun Bren.” Sarah sighed.

I walked over to Nicole and sat beside her. Bandit raced off as I came over.

“I-I’m sorry.” Nicole whimpered.

“Don’t be sorry.” I assured. “It’s okay. We all know this is hard.”

She snuggled up beside me. “Th-thanks.”

“Did you think the funeral was nice?” I asked.

She nodded. “I-It was perfect.”

“That’s good to hear.” I smiled slightly.

“I-I’m glad h-he got w-what he deserves.”

“Me too.” I agreed. “Do you want to come and have some food?”

She shook her head. “I-I not really hungry.”

“Well, everyone’s kind of worried about you, so can you just have something?” I asked.

“W-Why are they worried?” She asked, standing up.

“Because with everything that’s happened recently, you’re not really holding up too well.”

She sighed. “Well, yeah, but I’m fine.” She said, walking over to everyone else.

“Well, then come and have some food.”

She picked up the tiniest sausage roll there was and ate it before she started wavering around.

“Will you play with me Uncle Bren?” Bandit asked, tugging at my hand.

“Not right now Bee.”

“Aww! But nobody else will!”

“It’s just not a good time.”

“Why not?”

“Just because, Bandit.” I sighed.

“Where did Jaxon go?” She asked.

“He, uh….he went to a nice place with lots of rainbows and racecars.”

“Is that why the man in the white robes was saying that he went to a better place?”

I nodded.

“When’s he gonna be back?”

“I don’t think he's gonna come back Bee. He’s having too much fun.”

Bandit pouted. “But he was my friend!”

“I know Bandit, I know.”

Gerard walked over. “Hey Bee. We’re going to head home soon.”

“No!” She pouted. “I wanna go to the fun place where Jaxon is!”

Gerard bit his lip. “We’ll talk about that when we get home.”

“I don’t wanna go home!”

Gerard picked her up and walked her out to the car.

I looked around and found Sarah talking to Nicole and Kaitlyn just standing around.

“Hey guys.” I murmured as I walked over.

“H-Hi…” Kaitlyn whispered.

“Everyone else is heading home, are you guys ready to head back to the hotel?”

Everyone nodded except for Nicole.

“Nic?” I asked.

“I-I don’t w-want to l-leave him…”

“I know. But we’re not leaving him forever. He’ll always be with us. And we can come back and visit as much as you’d like.”

She just ran over to me, wrapped her arms around and started crying into my chest.

I threw Sarah the keys to the rental car and I led Nicole out, before sitting with her in the back.

I couldn’t get her buckled in, so I just told Sarah to go and I held her. She didn’t stop crying at all. It hurt me, having to see her so broken.

“We’re here.” Sarah whispered when we arrived at the hotel.

Sarah and Kaitlyn both went up to the room, but Nicole and I still sat in the back of the car. She was losing her breath and her sobs started slowing down.

“Shh. Breathe Nic, please just breathe.” I soothed.

She started slowing down and focusing on her breathing a bit more.

“Thanks.” I whispered. “Do you want to head up to the room now?”

“I-I don’t know.” She sniffled.

I took her hand. “Let’s just go up and raid the mini bar for some ice cream.”

We went up to the room and Nicole immediately retreated to her bed where she continued crying.

Sarah turned to me and sighed. “I’m really worried about her Bren.”

“I know.” I murmured. “I just don’t know what to do.”

“I’m going to make her a psychologist appointment… and then I guess we’ll go from there. And don’t give her too much junk while Kaitlyn and I are gone, okay?”

I nodded. “Okay.”

She pressed a kiss to my cheek before taking Kaitlyn back downstairs. I assumed she had therapy or something.

I went to go see Nicole. Once again, she’d cried so much, she’d lost her breath again. It honestly amazed me how long she could cry continuously for.

“Here. I brought ice cream.” I handed her a spoon and I cracked open the tub.

She shook her head and forced herself to continue crying.

“Nic…” I sighed, “Please cheer up.”

“I-I can’t!” She sobbed. “He’s g-gone Dad! Forever!”

“I know. I know.” I sighed.

“Y-You just d-don’t care.” She coughed, curling up.

“No, no, of course I care! I’m just really worried about you.”

“D-Don’t be.” She whimpered. “I-I’m fine.”

“You really don’t seem it. Can we at least just watch some TV? You need a distraction.”

She shook her head and her tears deepened. “A-All he ever g-got to do w-was watch TV.”

“That’s not true…” I realised I was lying to myself.

“Y-Yes it is!” 

I flicked the TV on to some happy-looking show and leaned back on the bed.

She curled up next to me and continued sobbing into my chest.

I gently stroked her hair while mindlessly watching the sitcom until Sarah and Kaitlyn got home.

“Really Bren, ice cream?”

“Relax, she didn’t eat any.” I sighed.

Sarah had started to become a little paranoid of everything Nicole did and ate since the diagnosis.

“Has she eaten anything?”

“She had a sausage roll at the afternoon tea?”

“Anything else?”

“Don’t think so.” I shrugged.

Nicole was now fast asleep, so it’s not like we could get her to eat anything. I didn’t want to wake her up because I knew she’d just start crying again.

Kaitlyn sat down on the other side of me and joined my sitcom watching adventures.

We just sat there for a little while, then after all the good shows had ended, Nicole woke up and burst into tears.

“Shh…” I soothed, resuming my position from before.

She actually calmed down this time and was just lying in my lap after the tears had subsided,

“How are you feeling Nic?” I asked.

“B-Better.” She sniffled.

“That’s good to hear.” I smiled.

“S-Sorry for before.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” I assured.

“A-Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Yep.”

Sarah walked in. “Oh good, you’re awake. We’re going to head downstairs and get something to eat.”

“Should I get changed?” She asked.

“Probably.”

Nicole grabbed some clean clothes and wandered into the bathroom to get dressed.

“I forgot to tell you Brendon, we’re both doing a first aid course on Friday.” Sarah stated as she applied some lip gloss.

“Oh, okay.” I mumbled, fiddling with my shirt buttons.

“And Kaitlyn and I found a good house that we’re going to look at tomorrow.”

I smiled. “Awesome.”

“And Nicole has therapy tomorrow at 3, and you have yours at 4:30.”

I nodded. “Sounds good.”

Nicole emerged. “What was that?”

“We’re going to take you to therapy tomorrow.” Sarah explained.

“No.” She immediately rebutted, folding her arms.

“It’ll help you bub, I promise.”

“I don’t need help. I’m fine.”

“Please Nic, it’ll be fine.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to go.”

“Please Nicole.”

“I just think you’re wasting your money. I don’t need it.”

“It doesn’t matter. You’re going.” Sarah stated, grabbing her bag.

“Not fair.” Nicole muttered.

We all walked downstairs and sat down. Nicole was pouting the entire time.

“What do you want to eat bub?” Sarah asked, passing her a menu.

“I’m not really hungry.”

“You need to eat. Come on, just something.”

“I don’t know. Just a salad or something.”

Sarah sighed and went to order.

We all just sat silent around the table.

“Your eye is twitching.” Kaitlyn told Nicole.

“W-What?” Nicole stammered nervously.

“Left eye. It’s twitching.”

Nicole buried her face in her arms.

“It’s not even noticeable.” I tried to convince.

“Th-then how’d she s-see it?” Nicole cried.

“Really good eyesight?”

“Totally.” Nicole sobbed.

Sarah arrived back and looked around. “What’s going on?”

Kaitlyn sighed. “I just told her that her eye is twitching and she freaked out.”

“Can I see bub?” Sarah asked.

Nicole slowly looked up at Sarah.

Sarah bit her lip nervously. “It’s not that bad…”

Nicole took the room key from Sarah’s bag and stormed off.

I chased after her. “Nope. You have to eat something.”

“I-I’ll j-just have a c-chocolate or s-something!” She sniffled.

“No, you need some real food. Come on, come sit back down. Your eye has stopped anyway.”

She shook her head. “I-If it’s like other t-times something e-else will start s-soon.”

“Well, once you eat, you can go back up. But right now, you really need to eat something.”

She sat down and waited for her food. She was dead silent though.

“I’m sorry for making you sad…” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“I-It’s not your f-fault…”

“Sort of is.”

Nicole went to say something before her face went white and she curled up on the chair.

“Nic?” Sarah asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I-I don’t know…” She said shakily.

“Do you not feel well or what’s happening bub?” Sarah sounded really worried.

“I-I don’t know!” She panicked.

Sarah helped her to sit up and I brought her some water to try and calm her down. After awhile, she stopped talking completely.

“Watch her Bren, I’m going to call the doctor.”

I stood by her and just watched her get worse. I didn’t know what I could do.

“W-What’s happening Dad?” Kaitlyn asked.

“I honestly don’t know little worm.”

She waved her fingers in front of Nicole’s face, but she didn’t move a muscle.

“Hurry up Sarah.” I muttered under my breath.

Sarah came back. “We need to take her to the hospital.”

I nodded and picked her up, immediately taking her to the car.

Kaitlyn trailed behind us and sat in the front while I sat in the back with Nicole. We started driving to the hospital, when all of a sudden, she started convulsing.

“Hurry up Sarah!” 

“What’s going on?!”

“I think she’s having a seizure!”

Sarah sped up significantly and got to the hospital. Nicole kept getting worse and worse, so I ran her in.

Doctor’s immediately pulled her into another room and Dr Rachel showed up to help. It was about a 2 hour wait until we were allowed to see her.

When we got to see her, she was in some sort of hypnotic sort of state and it seemed like she was about to fall asleep.

“They gave me this sooooooooort of bag that they put in myyyyy arm and then it maaaaaakes me feeeeeel funny…” She murmured.

I nodded unsurely as she kept mumbling in her tipsy state.

Dr Rachel walked in. “Hello everyone.”

“Heeeeeeey doctorrrrrrrr.”

She smiled. “Hello Nicole. How are you feeling?”

“I feeeeeeeeeeeeeel funny, but like, a gooooooood sort of funny.”

She chuckled slightly. “That’s the medication. I just have to talk to your parents for a little bit.”

Nicole nodded. “Goooooo ahead. They’re suuuuuuper nice.”

She turned to Sarah and Me. “So Nicole basically had a seizure. I know it may have been unpleasant to deal with, but I’m afraid that she’s probably going to have a lot more of them.”

“Doooooes that mean more medication?” Nicole interjected.

“Maybe. We’ll see.” Dr Rachel told her before turning back to us. “And because of that, it’s important to make sure that she’s not alone for longer than a couple of minutes. If she has a seizure and someone isn’t around, it could be fatal.”

I nodded nervously.

“I’m going to prescribe you some epilepsy medication to help.”

“Okay, thank you.” 

“I like this seeeeizure stufffffff.” Nicole grinned.

Dr Rachel giggled. “Well, you better enjoy it, because your IV bag is almost empty and you’re not getting any more.”

“But I waaaaaant more.” She pouted.

“Sorry hun, that’s all you can have.”

“I haaaaaaaaaaaate this.” She frowned.

“At least after this you’ll be able to snuggle up in bed and have a bit of a sleep. How does that sound?”

“I liiiiiiiike this stuff mooooooooore!”

“I know, but it’s expensive and we don’t have a lot of it, so we can’t give you more than you need.”

Nicole pouted and turned away from Dr Rachel.

“I’m going to go print out the prescription. I’ll be back.”

“Daddy?” Nicole murmured.

“Yeah? What’s up Nic?”

“I wanna go to Japan.”

“Why Japan?”

“Weird candy.” She mumbled, her eyelids drooping. “I wanna get the weird candy.”

I chuckled. “Maybe we can get some online, or maybe we might go to Japan. I don’t know.”

“Can we go while I’m still normal?” She murmured. “I don’t wanna be all dumb and stuff when we go…”

“We can try.” I assured. “I look into it for you Nic.”

She smiled slightly. “Thanks Dad…”

“It’s fine.” I smiled.

There was a moment of silence.

“Dad?”

“Mhmm?”

“I don’t wanna die...”

“I know. That’s why your Mom and I are trying to make sure you don’t.”

“Thank you...” She murmured. “I’m tired now…”

“You can go to sleep if you want.”

She smiled slightly and curled up before falling asleep.

Dr Rachel came back and handed us a piece of paper.

“Is she asleep?”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Well she can go soon. A half an hour at most. We’re just waiting to make sure we have the stuff to fill out the prescription.”

“That’s good.” I murmured, still thinking about what Nicole had told me.

“Do you guys have any questions?”

“Is there any way that this doesn’t end in death?” I asked, although I already knew the answer.

“Not really.”

“Is there anyone we can go to for support with this?” Sarah asked.

“Well there’s other people who have HD, or there’s parents who’ve had kids with it, I can get you in contact with lots of people.”

Sarah smiled slightly. “That would be great. Is there anyone around her age?”

Dr Rachel shook her head. “You have to understand, this is extremely rare to get this in someone so young. Normally it appears around age 50 or so.”

I sighed. “Okay…”

“There’s probably others around the country, but not any locally that I know of. Anyway, I’ll do some research for you.”

“Thanks.” I smiled slightly.

“Anything else?”

We shook our heads. “Not that we can think of right now.”

“Well, I should probably go then. Best of luck, I’ll see you at the regular appointments.”

“You too. Goodbye.”

Dr Rachel left, leaving us to ourselves.

Nicole stirred a little bit. “I wanna go home.” She murmured, still asleep.

“I don’t know if I’m going to get used to this…” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“I don’t know if I will either.” I sighed.

“I don’t think we have a choice.” Sarah said. “I’m just worried about how we’re going to handle this when Pickles gets here.”

Nicole started shaking in her sleep. We all just stood, not sure what to do.

Kaitlyn eventually walked over and gently shook her. “Wake up... “

She slowly woke. “W-What?”

“You were shaking.”

“It’s cold.” She murmured, grabbing the other blanket and pulling it up over her.

I smiled slightly. “In good news, we should be able to leave soon.”

“But I’m all comfy now…”

“It’ll be nice and warm.”

“Fine.” She grumbled, climbing out of the bed.

We all walked out and a male pharmacist handed us some medication, before walking away.

“More pills. Yay.” Nicole mumbled.

“It’ll make you feel better though bub.”

“Stupid disease.” She grumbled.

“It’ll be alright.” I assured as we got into the car. I sat in the back in case something else happened.

“You guys can relax… you all look really tense.” Nicole assured.

“We will soon, we’re just making sure you’re okay.”

“I’m feeling pretty alright at the moment.” She shrugged.

I nodded. “That’s good.”

“So you guys can relax, because you’re sort of freaking me out.”

Sarah was silent and Kaitlyn just stared out the window. I slumped into the chair and was humming along to the radio.

“Do you guys want to see the new house we found?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah, sure.”

Sarah drove to the house. It was pretty cool, if I did say so myself.

“Tomorrow the real estate agent is going to give us a tour.” Sarah smiled.

“Awesome.” I smiled.

Sarah drove back to the hotel and headed up to the room. “I guess we’ll just rest for a while.”

Nicole walked straight to her room and fell asleep, with Kaitlyn following soon after.

“That was terrifying Bren.” Sarah whispered to me. “I don’t ever want to have to go through that again.”

“But she said that Nicole would probably get a lot more”

“That’s what’s hard.” 

I sighed and hugged her. “We’re going to get through this.”

“Maybe.” She mumbled.


	21. Chapter 20 - The Twitch

“How did we get to four pills?” Nicole frowned. “I used to only have 2!”

“2 to help with behavior, one for seizures, and one to stop the twitching.” Sarah explained slowly.

Nicole did not seem very happy.

“Well, I have six, so I’d say be grateful.” I murmured as I took my own.

She grumbled something as she took them.

Sarah looked her over. “Why are you all dressed? I thought you just woke up.”

“No, I went for a run this morning. I figured it might be good, considering everything that happened. I dunno… running is my escape, sort-of.”

“We told you not to go without us, Nic. What if you’d gotten hurt, or something bad had happened and we weren’t there to help?!”

Nicole groaned. “I don’t need to be under your constant supervision, I can run just fine.”

Sarah shook her head. “You’re not allowed to go without Kaitlyn or Brendon. I would, but, well, Pickles.”

“I was fine though, nothing happened. You don’t have to worry.”

“We do bub. You saw what happened yesterday. We’re not risking that happening when there’s no-one around to help.”

“Just because it happened yesterday, doesn't mean it’ll happen again.”

“The doctor said to make sure that there is someone with you at all times just in case. So that’s what we’re doing. And that’s final.” Sarah said firmly.

“So you’re going to be constantly hanging over my shoulder until I die. Fun.”

She sighed. “It’s not like that. We’re just trying to keep you safe.”

“If that’s what you wanna call it.”

“Everyone just get changed and we’ll go get some breakfast.” I sighed.

We all got changed, except for Kaitlyn who was refusing to come with us. 

“What’s wrong bub?” Sarah asked.

“I-I just don’t f-feel good.”

“How so?”

“I-I just h-had a n-nightmare, a-and I’m scared!” She cried.

“Shh. What was the nightmare of?”

“Th-the group h-home.”

Sarah hugged her. “Well, I can promise you that you’re never going back there. But we really need to eat, so can you get changed and come with us?”

Kaitlyn frowned. “M-Maybe?”

“Please bub?”

Kaitlyn pulled herself up and quickly got dressed before meeting back up with us.

We went downstairs and got a table at the restaurant, and Sarah ordered for everyone. Nicole was in a sour mood, and Kaitlyn was silent. It was awkward.

“I-I’m not hungry…” Kaitlyn whispered.

“You still need to eat little worm.”

She frowned and returned to silence. Sarah sat down and luckily, the food came pretty quickly.

Nicole eyed of my pancakes with jealousy as she ate yogurt and muesli.

Kaitlyn played with her food, rather than eating it at all and pushed the plate to the centre.

Sarah pushed it back. “You need to eat bub.”

“I-I’m not hungry…” She whimpered.

“Just try, okay?”

She just took a tiny little bite and pushed her plate back to the centre. “I-I’m sorry.”

Sarah pushed it back. “Keep going.”

“I-I can’t…” She whispered.

“Just do it. I know you can do it.”

“I can’t, I-I’m sorry.”

“Please, come on. Just try a bit harder.”

“B-But I can’t!” 

“You’re going to eat Kaitlyn.” I said firmly.

“S-Sorry Mrs Hungin...” She whimpered.

We both shuddered at the thought of being called that.

She tried to shovel food into her mouth, and tears were streaming down her face.

Sarah sighed and took the fork from her hand. “Okay, okay. Fine. That’s enough.”

Kaitlyn forced the food down and curled up, still crying.

“Well, this has just been  _ great. _ ” Nicole remarked sarcastically.

“Nicole, please.” I sighed.

“This morning has been a disaster.” She explained carelessly. “I’m just saying it like it is.”

“Please, just don’t be rude. We’re trying, okay?”

“Okay, okay, sorry.” She murmured as she finished off her meal.

We finished up and I had to carry a still-teary-eyed Kaitlyn to the room.

“So what are we doing today?” Nicole asked, sitting down on the couch.

“Probably going to see the dogs.” I answered. “Then I think the real estate agent is going to give us a tour around the house.”

“Okay. Sounds alright. When we get back can we go to the games room downstairs?”

“Yeah, whatever.” I sighed.

“Cool.”

“If we’re all ready, we can go see the Way’s now.”

“I’ll go find Kaitlyn.” Sarah murmured, going to the bedroom.

I grabbed a jacket and the keys and waited for Sarah to get Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn still looked teary-eyed when she came out, and didn’t say a word the entire drive to the Way household.

We arrived and I told Sarah and Nicole to go inside.

“Why do you want to talk to me?” Kaitlyn asked quietly.

“Because you’re sad little worm. And I’m worried. What’s wrong?”

“J-Just the nightmare and b-breakfast and J-Jaxon and Nicole and M-Mom’s acting weird and it’s all really crazy!”

“It’ll be okay, I promise. We’re all just working hard to get everything sorted out.”

She nodded glumly.

“Let’s go talk to the puppies!”

I helped her out of the car and we went inside where the puppies immediately raced up to say hi.

“Opal! Ollie!” I grinned, lying down and letting them lick my face.

Kaitlyn sat down beside me and started patting the dogs. Ollie snuggled up in her lap and Opal kept jumping around.

“I’m really glad they’re okay.” Kaitlyn smiled.

I nodded. “So am I.”

Gerard walked in. “Hey guys!”

“Hey Gee!” I grinned.

“Come on through, Lindsey’s making coffee and tea and all that.”

We walked into the kitchen to find Sarah and Nicole in the middle of a heated argument.

Kaitlyn and I just sat there awkwardly, not wanting to interrupt.

“You can’t just go around and take the things I love away!” Nicole argued.

“I’m trying to help you!”

“Taking away all my coffee is not going to help me! You can take chocolate, fine. You can take ice cream, fine. But you CANNOT take my coffee.”

“It’s not good for you Nicole! I’m just trying to help you!”

“It’s bloody great for me! It makes me a happy person! I don’t care what side effects it’s going to give!”

“The answer is no, Nicole.”

She folded her arms. “You can’t stop me.”

“You’re not having  _ any. _ At all.”

She growled in frustration and stormed out to the car.

“She’s useless.” Sarah sighed.

“Don’t you think that was a little uncalled for?” I asked hesitantly.

“I’m trying to help her.”

“I know, I know, but forcing it on her all at once isn’t working. It’s just making the both of you very frustrated. She’s going through a lot at the moment Sarah, just let her have some things.”

“You go get her then.” Sarah murmured, sitting down and slumping into the couch.

I made a cup of coffee and took it out to the car, where Nicole was curled up in the back seat on the verge of tears.

“I got you some coffee.” I whispered, sitting down beside her.

“I-I don’t want it…” She sniffled.

I pulled the cupholders down and put it next to her. “Well, I made it for you anyway if you want it later.”

“F-Fine.” She whispered.

“What’s wrong?”

“E-Ever s-since you f-found out, M-Mom’s b-been so protective and w-won’t let me d-do anything.”

“I know. She’s just scared, that’s all. It’s just been a bit of a shock and this is her best way of coping.”

“I-I’m scared too, and th-this isn’t helping!” She cried.

I hugged her. “Look, I’m going to have a long talk with your Mom, and we’re going to figure out the best way to deal with this, but for now we need to just take it one day at a time.”

She nervously held her hand up. “I-It’s starting D-Dad. The t-twitching.”

“Alright, um…..let’s just get you inside first.”

“I don’t want to go back in there.” She mumbled, burying her hand back in her pocket.

“Okay, we can just stay here, I guess…”

“I’m sorry about everything I said under the weird medication yesterday.” She apologised.

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry.” I assured.

“It was weird though…”

I shrugged. “It wasn’t too bad.”

“Go to Japan for the weird candy…” She chuckled slightly. “I don’t even know where that came from.”

“It was funny though.” I smiled.

“I guess so…”

“It’s fine Nicole. Anyway, how are you feeling?”

“Crap.” She mumbled.

“Why’s that?”

“Everything’s that’s happened plus that fight with Mom.”

“It’ll be alright.” I soothed. “I promise.”

“I don’t know if it will Dad…”

“I’m going to take you to so many things so that if something does happen, you won’t have regrets.” 

“Thanks Dad.” She tried to smile.

“So what are some things you want to do?”

“I still kind of want to go to Japan… and eat the weird candy…”

I chuckled slightly. “Awesome.”

“Other than that… I don’t really know.”

“I’ll think of something.”

“You don’t have to Dad.”

“But I want to.” I grinned.

She nodded unsurely and lifted the coffee I made to her lips before taking a sip.

“Taste good?”

She nodded. “Really good.”

I smiled. “Good.”

“I think I’m ready to go back in now…”

“Alright, how’s the twitching going? Has it stopped?”

She shook her head. “Please don’t tell Mom. She’ll freak out.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.”

“Thanks.” She breathed a sigh of relief.

We walked back inside and Nicole was still nervous about the whole thing.

Everyone else was sitting around the coffee table, except for Kaitlyn and Bandit who had gone to play with the dogs.

Nicole sat down and I saw her keep fiddling with her hands in her pockets.

“Sorry about before bub…” Sarah apologised.

“N-No it’s o-okay…” She said shakily.

“Is everything okay?”

“Y-Yeah…”

Sarah seemed unconvinced, but didn’t say anything.

“I-I’m going to the b-bathroom…” She whispered.

“Okay bub.”

She quickly got up and fled the conversation.

“What’s going on with her?”

“She’s just… struggling with something.” I explained awkwardly.

“What’s going on Brendon?”

“I promised not to tell you. She’ll explain.” I paused. “Eventually.”

“You can’t hide these things from me Bren. I need to know.”

“She’ll explain when she gets back.” I said firmly.

Sarah sighed and watched the bathroom door.

“What is it exactly that she has?” Gerard asked.

“It’s called Huntington’s disease and it’s basically slow mental and physical deterioration.”

“Oh wow…” Gerard gulped. “So what can you do about it?”

“Not much, truthfully.”

He grimaced and looked down at his lap.

I got up and headed to the bathroom. I heard Nicole whimpering in there.

“Everything okay Nic?” I asked.

“N-No….”

“Can I come in?”

The door opened up.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as I sat down next to her.

“I-It’s getting worse.” She whispered.

“The twitching?”

She nodded and held her hand out. It was much more noticeable now.

I gently took her hand in my own to try and stop it. “I think your Mom is getting suspicious.”

“I-I don’t w-want her to know.” She sniffled.

“I know. But you’re going to have to tell her.”

“I-I can’t. Sh-she’s going to g-get t-too protective.”

“I’ll try to make sure that doesn’t happen.” I assured. “Come on, we need to go back out.”

“I-I can’t! She’s g-going to notice!”

“That’s why we’re going to tell her. Together.”

“N-No!” She cried.

I had to lead her out, sniffling all the way.

“What’s going on?” Sarah asked.

“Th-the twitching’s b-back and i-it keeps g-getting worse!”

Sarah looked at the hand, before nervously gulping and holding it in her own. “We’ll fix this. I promise.”

“I-I wanna go b-back to the hotel…” She whimpered.

Gerard and Lindsey sat in awkward silence listening to the conversation.

Nicole clung onto me and cried. “P-Please take me b-back Dad.” 

“Sorry Nic.” I apologised.

She held on tighter and sobbed into my chest.

Kaitlyn walked back in and froze when she saw the scene that was unfolding.

“Is she okay?” She whispered.

“Should be.” Sarah whispered back.

Nicole started coughing slightly and sat down on the chair quietly.

“Do you guys want anything before you have to go to the house?” Lindsey asked.

“W-Water?” Nicole whispered.

“Of course girly. I’ll be back.” Lindsey went to the kitchen.

Nicole looked at her hand. “It’s slowing down a bit.”

“That’s good.” I smiled.

She watched her hand. “I don’t think it’s the actual twitching that’s scaring me.”

“What is it then?”

“The fact that this is the start of a whole lot more…” She sighed. “This is what makes it real. That it’s not just something that I reckon I’ve got, this is something that’s real and it’s not going to go away. And reality sucks.”

I frowned. “I know, but we’ll get through it.”

“For the sake of this moment being sweet, I’ll agree.”

“Sorry to interrupt guys, but we’re going to be late if we don’t leave now.” Sarah stated.

Nicole drank the water Lindsey and given her and shoved her hand in her pocket before standing up. “Okay. We can go.”

We all got in the car and had the most peaceful drive we’d had in awhile to the house.

“I think we’re early.” Kaitlyn noted as we got out.

Sarah nodded. “Better than being late, though.”

“True.”

We all just sat on the grass while we waited. I playfully nudged Nicole to stir up a bit of fun.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Nothing, just being a meanie.” I stated, starting to tickle her.

She giggled and pushed me off. “Don’t do that!”

“Why not?” I asked, continuing to tickle her.

“Because my hand finally stopped twitching and I don’t want you to start it up again!”

I frowned. “Okay….”

“Sorry to kill the mood…”

“No, it’s fine.” I murmured, lying back onto the grass.

A man stood over me. “Are you Mr Urie?”

“Yeah, why?” I asked, sitting up.

“I’m supposed to be giving you a tour of this house.”

“Right, okay.”

I got up off the ground and shook his hand. He introduced himself as Davis and unlocked the front door to take us on a tour.

I understood why Sarah liked this house. It was beautiful and spacious. I just hoped it’d have enough room.

“So it’s fitted with all the latest features, air conditioning and heating built in, the pool is deep enough to dive into, and every bedroom has an en suite.” Davis explained as he led us around. “It’s quite a nice family home.”

It actually was quite nice. The rooms for Kaitlyn and Nicole were both large and spacious, with nice fittings. Nicole already claimed the one with the sunny reading nook, which suited Kaitlyn fine because the other room had a little nook where she could put her art things. There was a good nursery-sized room for Pickles, and the master bedroom was nice too. There was even an office that I could turn into a studio, and a guest room too. I think we’d all fallen in love by the time the tour was over.

“Thank you so much for the tour.” I smiled.

He shrugged. “Just doing my job.”

Sarah talked to him for a bit about price and whatnot and I went to talk to the girls.

“What do you think girls?” 

Nicole was grinning, and Kaitlyn was just silent.

I smiled. “Kaitlyn?”

“I-It’s fine….”

“What makes it just fine?” I asked.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry.”

“You have to live here as much as we do, so talk to me.”

“It’s fine.” She forced a smile.

“What makes it not great?”

“I-It’s great?”

I sighed. “Kaitlyn, please just talk to me little worm.”

“I-I’ll talk to you later…”

“Alright.” I sighed, turning back to Sarah and Davis.

“Once everything is paid for, you guys are fine to move in.”

Sarah smiled. “Thanks again for everything Davis. We’ll keep in touch.”

“It’s no problem. If you have any concerns, just call.”

We said our goodbyes and headed back to the car.

“So I guess we have a home now.”

“We still have to pay for it Bren. It’s not ours yet.”

“We’re so close though.” I grinned.

Kaitlyn was silent.

We got home and I went straight to find out what bothered Kaitlyn at the house.

“What was up little worm?” I asked as I sat on her bed.

“I-I just reminded m-me of the group h-home. I-It’s fine though.” She sniffled.

“I see.” I murmured.

“S-so I b-bad days I-I might j-just get some u-unpleasant memories.”

“That’s not going to be good.”

“I-It’ll be fine.” She tried to assure.

“I’ll talk to Sarah about it.”

She shook her head. “D-Don’t worry about it.”

I just nodded and silently decided to talk about with Sarah tonight.

“W-What’s the time?”

“2:30.”

“Oh crap Brendon!” I heard Sarah call from the other room. “Nicole has therapy at three!”

Nicole’s face fell.

We were all ushered into the car once again. Sarah just decided to bring all of us since I had to go later anyway and no one would be there to watch Kaitlyn.

“I still think this is a waste.” Nicole mumbled.

“Doesn’t matter, you’re going.” Sarah murmured, concentrating on the packed road. There was a huge traffic jam and there was no way we're going to get there in time.

“Time for an alternate route!” She announced, turning into a side street.

Nicole sighed. “I was fine staying on that road.

“But now we’re not going to be late.”

“Like  _ I _ care about being late!” She snapped.

“Don’t speak to your mother like that.” I warned.

“I honestly don’t care!”

“No dessert for you.” I punished.

“Fine.” She countered. “It’s not like I was going to eat it anyway.”

The rest of the drive was silent.

“I’m not going in.” She stated as we pulled up into the parking lot.

“Yes you are.” Sarah said firmly.

“No I’m not!”

Kaitlyn broke her silence. “Why not? Do you think you’re above the rest of us?”

“Yes, yes I do because I’m not a goddamn nutcase! I don’t need to be here!”

“That is ENOUGH Nicole!” I yelled. I got out of the car and dragged her inside, despite her fighting.

After lots of kicking, she hit me, hard. The shock caused me to release my grip and she started running away.

In the end, surprisingly, it was Kaitlyn who managed to catch her. I never knew that she knew how to perform a tackle.

“Let go of me!” Nicole screamed.

Everyone around us was staring.

I walked over and grabbed Nicole’s arm, before leading her back inside. I didn’t leave any opportunity for her to hit me again, and the therapist took her off me and led her to the office.

Sarah turned to me. “I’ve never seen her like that before.”

I nodded. I could hear her desperate cries from out here.

“I think that was the disease…” She sighed.

“Probably…” I murmured.

Sarah just hugged me.

“Its destroying her Sarah. It’s so hard to watch.”

“I know.” She whispered.

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

“Was locking the door really necessary?”

“Yes, because if I didn’t you’d just run away again.”

I scowled, because I knew she was right.

“Alright, how are you feeling.?”

“Like crap.” I answered simply.

“Can you evaluate a little on why?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“I haven’t introduced myself. My name is Dr Harriet Daring.” She introduced, holding an arm out to me.

I reluctantly shook it. “I’m assuming you already know all about me.”

“Not really…”

“What do you know then?” I asked, putting my dirty feet on the coffee table to try and throw her off and hopefully send me out.

“Your name and diagnosis.”

I shrugged. “Hate to burst your bubble, but I’m not really much more than that.”

“I’m sure you are!”

“Nope.”

“Alright, then let’s talk about what’s been happening lately.”

I raised one eyebrow.

“Why do you feel bad?”

“Because my brother is dead.” I stated simply.

She wrote something down in her notebook. “Anything else?”

“My parents found out that I’m dying?”

“How so? Because of the disease?”

“Yes.” I answered.

“Alright, that’s okay. Why are you so angry?”

“I don’t know!” I snapped. “Why are  _ you  _ so intrusive?!”

“Because I’m trying to help you?”

“Doesn’t feel like it.” I muttered.

She sighed. “I honestly don’t know how to help you Nicole.”

“Does that mean I can go?”

She shook her head. “You have to stay until the hour is up.”

I grumbled to myself.

“If you calm down, we’ll talk.”

“I don’t see why I have to. I don’t need to be here.”

“The behaviour you’re displaying says otherwise.”

I frowned.

“I’ll tell you what. You participate in the sessions, and if I don’t see a reason for you to be here, then you don’t have to come anymore.” She offered.

I tapped the armrest, considering her offer.

“Your choice.”

“Fine.” I mumbled.

“Okay, so what’s making you angry?”

“Just everything. Being here. Being  _ forced  _ to be here.” I explained.

“It’s truly not that bad here.”

“If you say so.” I mumbled.

“Alright, so have you had any significant reaction to the events that have occurred recently?”

“The death of my brother? Obviously. I guess the last week or so has been a lot of crying, a lot of loneliness, lots of stuff. Plus our house burned down, so we’re living in a hotel and that sucks. And since Mom and Dad have found out about the disease, they’ve been acting so weird and over-protective. I mean, I’m not allowed to be by myself anymore, Mom carefully monitors what I’m eating and won’t let me have anything I like, and Dad’s got this whole plan about making memories before I get all vegetable, and it’s really depressing to think about.”

“Have you been telling them how you feel about it?”

“Trying too, I guess.” I murmured. “I don’t think it’s working though. Mom and I had a big fight this morning because she told me that I couldn’t have coffee anymore and that just kind of tipped me off the edge.”

She wrote more stuff down. “And how’d you feel after the fight?”

“Pretty horrible. I sat in the car and cried for a bit. But that also might have been because my hand was twitching, so I guess it’s a bit of both.”

“So does the twitching thing happen often?”

“More so in recent times.” I sighed, looking over my hand.

“Alright, and is it just your hand?”

“It was my eye the other day. Doesn’t matter, any part sucks.”

“I imagine. Do you know what causes the twitching?”

“The disease killing my brain cells.” I stated. “ _ Super _ fun to think about.”

She sighed. “Alright, let’s move on. Is there anything happy that’s happened recently?”

“We saw a new house today, that was cool.”

“That is pretty cool.”

I nodded. “It was a nice house too. I think everyone really liked it, except for maybe Kaitlyn.”

“Kaitlyn’s your sister, right? Why didn’t she like it?”

“Beats me. She gets really funny about a lot of things.”

“People can be like that.” She murmured.

“She has PTSD, so I figured it might be something to do with that. But I don’t know.”

“It always is. People with PTSD are a pain.”

“That’s my Dad and my sister you're talking about.” I warned.

“Just talking from experience.” She defended, going through a bunch of papers.

I frowned. “What else do you want me to talk about?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I don’t really want to talk at all, so if you want me to talk, then you’ve got to ask the questions.”

“I don’t have anything else to ask.”

“Can I go then?”

“Time’s not up.”

I sighed and slumped back in the chair.

“Have you met Joanne, Dr Jo?” She asked.

“Dad’s psychologist? Yeah, she came to our place for Christmas. And she was at Jax’s funeral.”

“That’s a shame. You shouldn’t get involved with her.”

“Why?” I asked. “She seems nice enough.”

“She’s about as crazy as her patients. No wonder her husband cheated on her.” She said, filing the papers she was messing with before.

“That’s a bit rude.”

“But true.”

I silently developed a plan to ask Mom and Dad for a different psychologist if they were going to make me come back.

She checked her watch and sighed. “This session won’t end fast enough.”

“Do you not like me?” I asked.

“I need a smoke and I’m not allowed to inside.”

I frowned. “Let me just tell you right now, dying sucks. And I am appalled that you are spending money on sticks of death so that you can die too.”

“They aren’t ‘sticks of death’. They’re cigarettes. You won’t understand anyway.”

“Why not? Why won’t I understand? I know what’s in cigarettes. They cause cancer and death. Both of which, suck.”

“Only if you’re weak.” She countered.

I walked over to her desk and picked the door key off the desk and unlocked the door, before walking out to find Mom and Dad.

“I want to go home now. Or back to the hotel. Or someone other than her.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“She’s saying bad things about the people I care about and is annoyed because she’s not allowed to smoke inside. Look, can we just go? I don’t want to be here any longer.”

“Alright, I’ll take you back, but you’re going to have to tell me what she said so we can get her in trouble.”

I smiled slightly. “My pleasure.”

Mom drove me and Kaitlyn back to the hotel and sat me down on the couch.

“Alright, spill.”

“Where do I even start? Dr Jo is as crazy as her patients, um, people with PTSD are pains…”

Kaitlyn curled up.

I patted her shoulder. “Don’t worry, I defended you. Anyway, she got mad at me a couple of times, and told me that I didn’t understand why cigarettes are bad, which is stupid, because pretty much everyone knows that cigarettes are bad, and I got mad at her because dying sucks, and she just got mad at me again.”

“Alright, let’s call the offices.”

I smiled proudly. “Okay, cool. I don’t have to go back there, right?”

“Not to that therapist, at least.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god for that.”

Mom went into her bedroom to make the call.

Kaitlyn was silent.

“I-I’m not a p-pain, am I?” She whispered.

“No, no, not at all.” I assured.

Then my hand started twitching again.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“I, um, I think so?” I answered, watching it. “It doesn’t hurt or whatever, but it sure looks weird.”

“I just don’t want you back in hospital.”

“Yeah…” I mumbled. “This doesn’t really cause a hospital visit though.”

“I know, I’m just worried.”

“You shouldn’t.” I assured.

“Alright.” She smiled slightly.

I put my twitching hand in my pocket to try and hide it when Mom came back in.

“It’s getting sorted. They’re talking to her now.”

I smiled. “Awesome.”

“What do you two wanna do?”

“There’s a games room downstairs?” I suggested.

“Alright, let’s go.” She smiled.

I did my best to hide my hand all the way down the lift until we reached the games room. Sarah picked up a ping pong paddle and offered it to me.

I reached out and unknowingly revealed the twitching hand. Once I realised, I tried to hide it once again.

But Sarah had already seen it. “Nicole, is it twitching again?”

“N-No?”

I cursed myself for being terrible at lying.

“Show me.” Sarah sighed.

I held my hand out, knowing I’d lost the fight.

Sarah looked at it, then up at me sadly without a word.

“I don’t know what to do about it.” I mumbled.

“Neither do I…” Sarah said unsurely. “Should we call the doctor?”

I shook my head. “They’ll just give me more pills.”

“Yeah, but it’ll help, won’t it?”

I shrugged. “If you really want to, you can.”

She ruffled my hair before stepping outside of the room to make another phone call.

“How did you get it to stop before?” Kaitlyn asked.

“I don’t know. It just sort of stopped.”

“So do we just wait it out?”

“I don’t know. This one seems worse than last time.” I sighed,

Kaitlyn looked really worried, so I changed the subject. “Let’s play some games.”

She nodded unsurely and picked up the second paddle. We started playing ping pong to distract ourselves.

My twitching hand made it hard, but I managed to get a good rally going, until it twitched so bad that I accidently threw it against the wall.

“Are you okay?” Kaitlyn panicked.

“Fine, fine. Don’t worry.” I assured as I picked it up with my other hand. “I might give left-handed ping pong a try.”

“Alright….” She said unsurely.

Mom came back halfway through our match.

“What did the doctor say?” Kaitlyn asked.

“They weren’t sure.” She sighed. “They just suggested I gave your two of the pills to stop the twitching, but that might not work.”

I sighed. “I guess I’m just going to have to live with this.”

“It’s already gotten worse since I’ve been gone!” 

“She accidently threw the paddle against the wall when we were playing.” Kaitlyn whispered.

“It was nothing, don’t worry.” I assured.

Sarah looked really worried, and so did Kaitlyn.

“You guys worry too much. Both of you. Just relax, it’ll calm down eventually.” I tried to assure.

“I don’t know. I think we should go to the room, just in case.”

I frowned. “What if we just played one of the board games in the corner?”

“I think it’s best if we head back…”

I sighed. “Please?”

She shook her head. “Come on, let’s go.” 

“What damage is my hand going to do anyway?” I grumbled as I followed them back to the elevator.

“It’s just a precaution, bub.” 

“I guess. But it’s really sort of boring up in the room.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

When we got to the room I sat down on the couch and flicked the TV on to some sitcom in hopes of some entertainment.

After a couple of hours, Brendon joined us, having taken a taxi back. I went up to go hug him.

“ H-H-” I tried to say but I couldn’t get it out.

“Hey Nic.” He smiled. “Everything okay?”

I shrugged ever so slightly before wandering to the couch. I was feeling oddly faint, and I was slightly terrified.

Kaitlyn looked at my face. “You’re really pale.” She paused a moment. “Mom I think something’s wrong with Nicole!”

Mom raced to my side. “It’s okay, it’ll be okay.” She soothed.

I was seriously beginning to think this was the end, but dismissed the thoughts, realising I was overreacting. I couldn’t really do anything though, which was scary.

“Bren, I think we need to take her back to the hospital.” Mom called.

Mom grabbed the keys and Dad carried me out to the car.

Kaitlyn trailed behind, looking quite scared herself. I wondered if this was going to be my life from now on, going to the hospital every afternoon.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“Hold on Nic, we’re nearly there.” I whispered.

She was doing so well, and just as we were about to arrive. She started convulsing again.

I rushed her in, and almost the same thing happened as yesterday. The doctor’s took her from me and whisked her into another room, Sarah did the paperwork, and Kaitlyn and I sat and waited.

“Excuse me.” A woman asked, dramatically tapping my shoulder.

“Yeah?” I asked, looking at her.

“May I ask why your child was treated immediately? Timothy and I have been waiting here for 3 hours waiting to see a doctor.” She said with a frown of disapproval.

“W-Well, she was having a seizure, a-and ummm, if it isn’t treated i-it could be fatal?” 

“Timothy has a concussion, and that could end the same way.” She frowned. “I just don’t think it’s fair that you use up the materials that others have been waiting hours for.”

“I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean to inconvenience you, I-I didn’t have much of a say i-in it…” 

A nurse saw the argument and walked over. “What’s going on here?”

“Th-this woman’s s-son has a concussion a-and she d-doesn’t think it’s f-fair that my daughter was r-rushed in?” 

The nurse turned to face the woman. “Is this true?”

The woman nodded. “We’ve been waiting for 3 hours.” 

The nurse sighed. “You should be thankful. You should be feeling bad for him instead of upset, your child wasn’t so severely injured that they needed immediate care. Your son is going to be fine. I doubt he even needs to see a doctor at all, he’s over there kicking the ball with that other kid. His daughter, on the other hand, has a terminal genetic condition. So I’m sorry that there’s a wait, but sometimes the wait is something to be grateful for.”

“If she’s that bad that she gets priority, then she should be staying in the hospital!” 

“And she might be too.” The nurse said firmly. “You shouldn’t be waiting much longer anyhow.”

The woman huffed as the nurse left. “Stupid celebrities getting all the benefits.” 

I stood up in offence. “What did you say?”

“People like you, who are famous for no reason are deemed more important than everyone else! It’s unfair! Especially when you don’t deserve it!” 

“For one, it’s not me who’s getting the treatment. It’s my daughter. And she does deserve it, quite frankly. She’s been through enough this week without you throwing these insults at her.”

“What happened? Did she break a fingernail?” She spat.

“She had a seizure!” I almost yelled.

“Totally.” She rolled her eyes. “She probably just has the cold. Besides, Mr Urie, don’t you have one of your other dozen wives to get to, you unfaithful bastard?!” 

Sarah stood up too. “What did you just say?!”

The nurse came back and stood between us. “Everybody calm down!”

“She’s blatantly insulting us!” 

The nurse turned to the woman. “I think it’s time you leave.”

“I’m not leaving until this ungrateful bastard finally opens his god damn eyes and sees he’s the same as everyone else!” 

I folded my arms and looked her straight in the eyes. “I want you to see my daughter so you understand what we’re going through right now.”

“I’m sure she’s fine!” 

The nurse led us and the woman through the ICU, where Nicole was still convulsing on the bed, while some doctors were talking about what to do.

She stormed up to Nicole and slapped her across the face. “Quit the act!” 

The doctors and nurse stared at her in shock. Nicole kept convulsing, as expected.

“Security!” The nurse called.

“Did your rich daddy get you acting classes sweetheart?” She growled, hitting her once again.

I pushed her away from Nicole as security rushed forward and restrained her.

“Sure, take me away. I’m done with this a-hole.” She stated, submitting to the security.

“Mommy!” The little boy, Timothy shouted. “That’s so mean!”

“He’s the man who made it so you can’t see the doctor Timothy. Don’t waste your breath on him.” 

“I told you! I only hit my head a little bit! I’m not hurt!” He exclaimed. “But she really is!”

“You’re too young and oblivious to know better Timothy. Let’s go.” 

“I hate you.” He muttered as he reluctantly followed his mother out the door.

I just stood there in disbelief.

Nicole finished convulsing and looked up at us. “W-Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital bub.” Sarah explained.

She lifted her hand up to her cheek and rubbed it slightly. “W-What happened?” 

“Um…. a lot…” I explained nervously. “Woman got mad that you were treated before her son, who was perfectly fine by the way, and got so worked up that she thought you were acting in the middle of a seizure and slapped you. It was a bit messed up.”

Her eyes widened. “My god…” 

“It was a bit of a show.” A doctor said, holding an IV bag. “Here, I’m going to give you this now.”

“Thanks…” She murmured.

The doctor put the IV in her arm. “Now, you had this yesterday, so just be prepared for any side effects.”

She smiled slightly and waited for the medication to kick in.

“Are you feeling alright now bub?” Sarah asked, sitting down next to her.

She nodded. “I’m okay, I guess. The seizures are like the most draining and terrifying thing, so now that’s it’s over, I’m quite relieved.” 

“Considering that you’ve had 2 in such a short period of time, we’re just going to have you spend some time in ICU for a couple of days.” The doctor said.

Nicole nodded unsurely. “That’s fineeee.” 

I sighed. “Is she going to be okay?”

The doctor nodded. “She should be fine if she doesn’t have anymore while she’s here.” 

“And if she does?”

“Then we’ll look into some more extensive treatments.” 

I nodded. “Okay. Anything we should know?”

“If anything concerns you at all, come get us.” 

“Of course.”

“Wheeeeeeeeeere am I?” Nicole asked again.

“You’re in the hospital.” I explained.

“Whyyyy?”

“Cause you had a seizure.” 

“I dooooon’t think sooooooo…” She seemed confused.

“That’s why you’re on the medication bub.” 

“Whaaat medication?” She looked down at her arm. “AHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“It’s alright, calm down.” 

“Taaaaaaake it out!” She shrieked.

“Calm down, it’s okay. It’s making you feel better bub.” 

She looked at Sarah in terror, and then her hand started to twitch again.

I took her twitching hand. “You’re alright Nic, I promise.” 

“I’m scaaaaaaaaared!” She panicked.

“It’s okay, you’re okay. I could sing to you, would that calm you down?” 

“I don’t know…” She whispered. “Youuuuuu can try?”

I smiled slightly and starting singing a song I was working on. It was quiet peaceful, and I thought it’d calm her down a little bit.

She was still panicked, but it seemed to be helping.

I’d run out of lyrics, but I started making them up on the spot, determined to calm her right down.

Sarah nudged me. “Just start again Bren… making them up isn’t working. You’re singing about socks.”

I giggled. “I’m sorry. I was having fun.” 

“I liked it Dad.” Kaitlyn whispered quietly.

I grinned, but moved onto another song.

Nicole settled down and curled up in the bed, seemingly about to go to sleep despite the twitching.

After about 3 songs, Nicole was lulled into sleep.

“Good work Bren.” Sarah praised.

“It’s still twitching Sarah. She’s asleep and it’s still going.” I gestured to her hand.

Sarah grimaced.

“Is she going to be okay?” Kaitlyn asked.

Sarah nodded. “She should be bub.”

“I still don’t understand everything that’s wrong with her…” She murmured.

Sarah handed Kaitlyn a leaflet on the disease. She sat in silence as she read it.

“Th-that’s horrible!” She stammered.

“I know bub.” Sarah whispered, taking the leaflet back.

“I-I don’t want her to d-die!” Kaitlyn cried.

I pulled her into a hug. “Shhhh. Don’t wake her up.”

“I-I love her t-too much.” She whimpered.

“Us too bub. Us too.”

“W-When can I g-go to school again?” 

“Do you want to go back?” I was confused.

“Y-Yeah?” 

“Um, well, everything was burned in the fire bub. When we get settled in the new house and everything seems under control, we’ll look into it. But for now, I think we need to focus on what’s happening at the moment.”

“C-Can you take m-me tomorrow? I-I need to talk to the p-principal.” 

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t want to do any art stuff anymore.” 

Sarah and I were a bit taken aback.

“Why? You love art.” Sarah asked.

“But I don’t want to be an artist.” 

“Well, if you want to change subjects, that’s fine by us.” I assured her. “You choose what you want to do.”

She smiled. “I promise I’ll make you proud.” 

I ruffled her hair. “Sounds good little worm.”

Nicole stirred slightly and we all turned to face her. I sighed.

“This is going to be an uphill battle.”

Sarah nodded. “Sure is.” 

“But she’s gonna get better, right?” Kaitlyn asked nervously.

“I don’t know little worm…” 

“B-But she has to!” Kaitlyn panicked.

“I don’t know if she will…” 

Kaitlyn hugged me without another word.

“C-Can we go back to the h-hotel yet?” 

“Not yet bub.” Sarah told her. “We just need to find out a bit more about what’s going on with Nicole, and from there we’ll go back to the hotel. Are you just finding it a bit hard being here?”

She nodded silently.

“How about I call Gerard?” She suggested. “Your Dad and I are going to be here for a while, so maybe it’s best if you go stay with him for a little bit. We’ll come and pick you up later.”

“P-Please.” 

Sarah went to call Gerard and I sat down next to Nicole. Her hand had stopped twitching, but it seemed her nose had started. I sighed and brushed some hair off her face.

“I-I hope she gets better…” Kaitlyn whispered.

“Me too little worm.” I sighed.

“Do you think they’re working on a cure for it Daddy?” 

“I think so. Here, take my phone and have a look.”

She hesitantly took the phone and started googling stuff.

“There’s not much… Um… there’s lots of clinical trials and stuff going on… and genetics and stuff… actually there’s lots of stuff being done.”

I smiled. “Isn’t that good news?”

“I guess so.”

“Don’t worry about it little worm. It’ll be alright.”

She sniffled. “I-I hope so. She the best sister ever.”

I smiled and hugged her. “We’ll get through this.”

“D-Dad?” Nicole murmured, still half-asleep.

“Yeah Nic?” I asked.

“I want some more coffeeeee…”

I chuckled slightly. “We’ll see. I’ll look into it for you.”

“Thanks Dad.” She mumbled.

Sarah walked back in the room. “Gerard’s on his way bub.”

“Can I go too?” Nicole asked sleepily.

“Sorry Nic.” I apologised. “But you’ve got to stay here, where the doctor’s can keep an eye on you for the time being.”

“Aww…”

Kaitlyn looked tremendously guilty.

“It’s okay Bub. Let’s go out to the parking lot.” Sarah and Kaitlyn the room.

“I don’t wannna get used to this Dad.” Nicole whispered.

“I don’t either Nic.” I sighed.

“Sorry for making you sit around.”

“It’s no problem. Anything to help you feel better.”


	22. Chapter 21 - Genetic  Inheritance

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

I thanked the lord that I saved everything to the cloud.

Even though my computer had been destroyed in the fire along with all my other pieces of equipment, all my files were safe in the cloud.

The insurance money for all our things had finally come through, and our bank account was looking quite full at the moment. Everything that we’d lost in the fire, we had received money for. And Sarah had given me quite a large stack of cash to replace my music things. And the first thing I had gone out and bought was a new laptop.

It was brand new, and shiny. And now, I was in the process of going through and recovering all my files and downloading all my old software for mixing. Not the most entertaining of jobs, but it needed to be done. Plus, it was something I could do while sitting at the hospital with Nicole.

I opened my song files and listened to them again, quite relieved that they hadn’t been lost with everything else in the blaze. I started to feel inspired, so I opened a new file and started mixing.

Nicole started to wake up. “Hey Dad….” She murmured, still mostly asleep.

“Hey Nic. How are you feeling?”

She shrugged sleepily. “I’m alright.”

“That’s good, I guess.”

“What are you doing?” She asked.

“I’m making a song.” I explained with a grin. “Your Mom gave me a whole heap of shopping money so I went and got a new computer.”

“Oh. Can I hear?”

I handed her my headphones and pushed play.

She smiled. “This is cool Dad.”

“Thanks Nic.” I grinned, taking the headphones back. “It still has a long way to go, but at least I’ve got some roots.”

“I reckon it’s going to be #1.”

I laughed. “I doubt that, but thank you anyway.”

She half-smiled and snuggled back into the sheets, just watching me as I mixed.

“Am I going to go back to school Dad?” She asked eventually.

I nodded. “Eventually, yeah.”

She was silent. “Do you think I’m going to graduate?”

“Of course!” I assured. “Of course you’re going to graduate. And you’re going to be the most amazing chef the world has ever seen.”

She sighed. “Maybe…”

“Are you getting down on yourself again?”

“Maybe…”

“You can’t let yourself think like that, Nicole. There’s so much to look forward too.”

“I guess so… I’m just worried that I’m not going to be myself to experience it.”

I closed my laptop and put it on the nearby table. “Well, let’s experience as much as possible before that happens.”

“This is really depressing to think about Dad…” She mumbled.

“I know, I know.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I haven’t exactly been in this position before.”

“Sorry for bringing it up…”

“No, no, it’s okay.” I assured.

“I think I’m just going to go back to sleep.”

I nodded. “You can do that. I’ll work on my song.”

She smiled slightly and I resumed my position from before while Nicole curled up to get some more sleep.

******* Sarah’s Point of View *******

_ The doctor told you not to research. She said not to. You already know everything that you need to. Come on Sarah, Nicole already thinks you’re being too controlling. _

I cringed to myself as I scrolled down the list of google results for HD. There was a whole heap of hippy stuff about natural remedies that I didn’t trust, but I found a whole heap of websites that seemed pretty reasonable. And they were all backed by universities and other good sources, so I read them. 

I made a list of things that were going to help, and a list of things that were going to make it worse. I listed possible treatment options, looked at clinical trials for new drugs, it was quite extensive. But no cure.

“What are you doing Mom?” Kaitlyn asked, looking up from the small TV in the corner.

“Just… researching, I guess.” I murmured.

“But weren’t you not supposed to do that?”

“Maybe?”

Kaitlyn walked over and picked up my notebook, before sighing.

“Nicole is gonna be mad at you if you make her do all these things.”

I sighed. “Is it so wrong of me that I want to save my daughter’s life?!”

“No, but this is a bit crazy. How do you even know if any of this is even going to work?”

“It’s worth a try?”

She pushed my laptop lid closed. “Let’s go downstairs or something. You need to get out of the room.”

I looked up at her. “Fine. We need to go and get some supplies anyway.”

She smiled slightly and handed me my bag, before we left the room to go downstairs.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“I need to play some concerts in Japan.”

Robert looked up at me. “What?”

“Japan. Concerts. I need to do it.”

“Uh…” 

“Concerts in Japan. As soon as possible.” I said firmly.

“Brendon, I haven’t seen you in months, and then you come in here demanding that you need to perform concerts in Japan as soon as possible? I’m confused. What’s going on?”

I sighed. “I need to get to Japan with my family, but we don’t have the money, so I need to perform concerts in Japan so that the label will pay for the flights and I’ll make some money to cover all the extra expenses.”

Robert tapped the desk with his pen. “Brendon,” He asked gently. “Are you stable enough to perform again? Especially overseas?”

I nodded. “I went back to Vegas to see my Mom and Dad and they got me on this trial for a new medication, and I swear, I haven’t felt this great in years.”

“The label isn’t going to pay for flights to Japan on the risk that you might not be able to perform Brendon.” He whispered. “I’m going to need medical certificates to prove that you can do this.”

“I’ll get em.” I assured. “We just need to announce it, like tomorrow, and start selling tickets ASAP.”

Robert sighed. “May I ask what the urgency is?”

“My daughter.” I explained. “Nicole. She was diagnosed with Huntington’s disease. And she wants to go. And we really need to do this for her.”

He typed something into google, presumably HD.

“Oh…” He gulped as he read whatever was on his screen.

“Yeah, so that’s why we need to organise a Japan tour ASAP.”

“I’ll talk to the board, Brendon. But for now, you just get me those medical certificates.”

I nodded. “Of course. I’ll see you here later today.”

He sighed and nodded. “Alright. Goodbye Brendon.”

I turned around to leave.

“Wait, Brendon, here.”

He threw me an envelope.

“What’s this?” I asked, opening it.

“Royalties from the single.”

I was staring at a check for $150 000.

“A-Are you sure?”

He nodded. “It did get to #1. This is all from radio stations and such.”

I grinned. “Thanks Robert.”

He smiled. “No problems Brendon. Just, if the board doesn’t agree to your tour, then hopefully this should help you pay for your trip.”

I raced out of the building and called Sarah.

“Hello?”

“He’s looking into it.” I explained. “I need a medical certificate to prove I’m stable enough, and then we should be good as long as the board agrees.”

“That’s great Bren! Where do you get a medical certificate?”

“I’ll ask Dr Jo.” I shrugged. “I’m hoping she’ll give me one. But anyway, he paid me! For the single!”

“Really? Awesome! How much?”

“One hundred and fifty thousand dollars.”

“Holy crap…”

“I know! I’m going to the bank now, then I might pay off some of the medical bills. We need a new car, should I go and get a new car?”

“Brendon, just put the check in the bank and we’ll talk about how we’ll spend it later. We need to think about this.” Sarah said slowly. “Please.”

I groaned. “Fine.”

“Okay. Good. I finally paid the deposit for the house, we can move in soon. But we sort of need to get some furniture, because we don’t really have any.”

“Okay. Should we go to Ikea or something when Nicole gets out of hospital?”

“Probably. Anyway, I have to go, so you just cash the check in and come back to the hotel?”

I nodded. “See you soon Sarah.”

“Bye Bren.”

I drove to the bank and put the money in my account, before driving to the florist and getting some flowers for Sarah, some for Kaitlyn, and some for Nicole, considering I’d just been paid and I had a lot of money just lying around. I drove back to the hotel and got in the lift to go up to the room.

“That’s an awful lot of flowers.” A woman stated.

I nodded. “They’re for my wife and daughter’s.”

She smiled. “That’s very sweet of you.”

I got off at the 16th floor, and walked into the room. Kaitlyn’s face lit up when she saw me. “Hey Dad!”

I handed her one of the bunches. “Hey little worm. How are you?”

“I’m good.” She grinned. “Thanks for the flowers.”

“That’s alright. Where’s your Mom?”

She gestured to the bedroom.

I walked in and found Sarah sitting with her new computer on her lap. I handed her the flowers. “Hey beautiful.”

She smiled. “Hey Bren. Come see what I found.”

I sat down next to her on the bed and looked at her screen.

“Our only full family photo.” She whispered. “The only picture I can find of the 5 of us, where we all look somewhat happy.”

The picture was nice. It was in front of our old house, with Sarah holding a very smiley-looking Jaxon, Nicole standing next to her, and I had my arm around a somewhat nervous looking Kaitlyn, but she was smiling, so it seemed nice. Even the puppies were sitting at our feet.

“We should get this framed.” I smiled.

She nodded. “That’s what I was thinking.”

“So what have you and Kaitlyn been up to?” I asked.

“I was doing some research, and then we just went down to the store to get some basics like some notebooks to Kaitlyn can go back to school and some more clothes for everyone so we can give Gerard and Lindsey’s back.”

“Fair enough.” I paused. “Research?”

Sarah sighed. “Don’t be mad.”

I sighed. “Nicole is not going to be happy.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” She murmured. “I just like to know things.”

“Just….talk to a doctor before you do anything, okay?”

“Don’t worry Bren.” She assured.

“I will worry Sarah. I know you’re just trying to help, but I think it’d be better if you got a second opinion.” I murmured. “Anyway, I’m going to call Dr Jo about a medical certificate.” 

Sarah smiled and kissed me on the cheek before I left the room.

“Hello?” She answered. 

“I need a medical certificate.” I said simply.

“Alright, slow down. It’s not that easy. Why do you need one?”

I sighed. “Robert says I need one before I can go on tour.” 

“What do you need it for?”

“To prove I’m stable enough to perform.” 

She was silent for a moment.

“You’re gonna get me one, right?”

“I don’t know Brendon... “ 

“I need one!” I panicked. “You’ve got to give me one!”

“I’ll think about it, and I’ll go over stuff from our last sessions, okay?” 

“Dr Jo, I really need this! If you’re not going to do it for me, give me one for Nicole!”

“Just be patient Brendon.” 

“Please!” I pleaded.

“When do you need it by?” 

“Tomorrow maybe?” I asked hopefully. “If not by our session this afternoon.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” 

“Thank you Dr Jo.” I breathed.

“No promises though. I have to go through a lot of people.” 

“I know.” I mumbled.

“Is that all you needed?” 

“I guess so. Oh, um, do you have another colleague that Nicole could start seeing?”

“Maybe? Why’s that?” 

“A lot has happened with Nicole… she really needs to see somebody.” I sighed.

“Just depends when. Everyone’s basically already working overtime.” 

“Any time I guess. If you can squeeze her in, I can’t tell you how much I’d appreciate it.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to the receptionists.” 

“Thanks Dr Jo.” I smiled. “Can you just call Sarah if you can? She’s probably better to talk about this than me.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” 

“Okay. Cool. See you at 3?”

“Of course Brendon. I’ll see you then.” 

“Okay. Bye Dr Jo.”

She hung up the phone.

“Is she going to give you one?” Sarah asked as I walked back into the room.

“Hopefully.” I said, flopping onto the bed.

“That’s good.” She smiled.

“And she’s going to see if she can find someone for Nicole too.” 

“Oh, good. Did you let her know that we don’t need one immediately because she’s in the hospital?”

“She said that everyone’s pretty busy right now anyways.” 

“Maybe I’ll ask Indigo if there’s someone over where she works…” Sarah mumbled, writing it down in a notebook.

I nodded. “Sounds good.” 

She closed her laptop. “I think we should head back to the hospital.”

“Is Kaitlyn coming with us?” 

“I guess that’s up to her.” Sarah said awkwardly. “If she doesn’t want to, we’ll drop her at Gerard’s.”

I nodded before going to her room.

“We’re going to see Nicole little worm. Do you wanna come or do you want to go to Gerard’s house?” 

She paused as she thought about it. “Is Nicole gonna be okay or is she going to be all sick?”

“I can’t say I know.”

She nervously looked up at me. “I-Is it okay if I go to Gerard’s house?”

“Yeah, that’s completely fine.” 

“I feel bad though…” She murmured.

“It’s alright, Nicole will understand.” 

Kaitlyn shrugged glumly.

We took her to Gerard house before going to see Nicole.

Sarah took my hand as we walked into ICU, walking past the rows of beds until we found Nicole. She was curled up in a ball, crying.

“What’s wrong Nic?” 

“J-Jax…” She managed to spit out between sobs.

I sat beside her and lightly rubbed her back. “It’ll be alright.” 

“N-No it’s n-not!” She sobbed.

“Shh, calm down. It’s okay.” 

Her hand started twitching again, which just made her cry harder.

I wrapped her in a hug. “I know it’s hard Nic.” 

“It’s i-impossible!” She cried.

“It’s not impossible, I promise. You’ll get through this.” 

“D-Doesn’t feel like it…”

“I know, but it’ll get easier with time.” 

“I guess.” She mumbled.

“Believe me, I know it’s hard, but it does get easier. So much easier. Obviously you still miss them, but the happy memories start to outweigh the sad ones.” 

She just hugged me.

“It’ll be okay.” I whispered.

She pulled herself away and sniffled. “Sorry you had to see that… I didn’t think you were coming until later.”

“No, it’s fine bub.” Sarah assured.

She looked at her twitching hand and slapped it with the other hand. Quite hard.

“I don’t think that’ll help.” I said, gently pulling her hand away.

“It worked before…” She frowned.

“Well I don’t want you hitting yourself, okay?” I looked into her eyes.

She sighed. “But it worked! And it kind of worked this time, I mean, it’s not as bad?”

“Please Nicole, don’t hurt yourself.” 

“It doesn’t hurt though.” She defended, smacking her hand again. It finally stopped twitching and she grinned triumphantly.

I sighed. “I don’t like it though.” 

“I’ll do it in secret if that’s better?”

“No, not really…” 

She sighed. “I just want it to stop.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“But it’s not going to stop.” She muttered. “Because there’s nothing that anyone can do about it.”

“Your Mom is trying really hard to help, we’ll work it out.” 

“Y-You’re not going to ban me from more things I love, right?” Nicole asked Sarah nervously.

She sighed. “I don’t know bub…” 

“P-Please d-don’t…” She whispered.

“I’ll try, okay?” 

Nicole looked teary again as she snuggled into me.

I held her close. “It’ll be okay.” 

“Please don’t be upset bub… I’m only trying to help.” Sarah sighed.

“I-I just wanna be n-normal again.” 

“I know.” I sighed.

“This i-is all too hard…” 

“We’re going to get through it, okay?” I said firmly.

“Th-there’s no p-point in trying. I-It’s all gonna e-end the same way.” 

I decided to change the subject. “I think we’re going to be going to Japan soon.”

Her face lit up. “Really?!” 

“Yeah. I just need to finish talking with the label, and we should be going.” I smiled.

“Thank you so much!” She smiled. “You’re the best Dad ever!” 

I grinned. “Anything for you Nic.”

“Are you sure he’s the best?” A voice interjected.

I turned to face where the voice was coming from.

“D-Dad?” Nicole whispered.

I took her hand and looked at the man and woman in front of me.

She curled up slightly. “W-Why’d you come b-back? W-Why now?” 

It finally clicked in my head and I turned to face them. “Can we talk alone for a little bit?”

“Of course.” 

The woman took the man’s arm and assisted him out of the little curtain-room. I noticed his strange way of walking until we found a quiet spot to talk.

“What’d you want to talk about?” 

“First of all, who exactly are you?” I felt I knew the answer but I needed to hear it.

“Nicole and Jaxon’s biological father.” 

“Do you know who I am?”

“Their adoptive father, right?” 

I nodded. “So why are you here?”

He sighed. “I know more about Nicole’s condition than I’d like to admit.” 

“How do you know that?”

“Well it’s a genetic condition…”

“Do you have it too?”

He nodded glumly.

“Look, I understand why you came back and all, but Nicole thinks you abandoned her because you didn’t want to deal with Jax.” I explained. “I’m not trying to scare you away, but that’s the most I heard from her about you. Oh, and she thought you were doing drugs…”

“It’s fine if you don’t want me around, I just want to talk to her before I turn completely vegetable.” He murmured.

“That’s understandable. Of course you can, I’m just unsure if she’ll want to talk.”

“I sort of knew that going in.” 

“Well, you’re more than welcome to talk.” I smiled. “But, just know that there’s a lot going on with us at the moment, so she might not be very, um, well…”

“Thank you so much Mr….?” 

“Urie. What’s your name?”

“Tom Jesper.” He introduced.

“And I’m Corinne Jespar.” The woman beside him introduced.

“Sarah, my wife is in there. If you want to know anything, just ask her.” I explained.

He nodded. “Thank you for this.”

“It’s fine.” I assured. “Let’s go in.” 

He went to take a step before stumbling forward. I caught him before he hit the ground.

“Oh, thank you.” He smiled gratefully.

“I, um, are you okay?” I asked nervously.

“I should be, don’t worry.” 

I nervously nodded and led the way back to Nicole’s bed.

He stumbled in the small space and had to sit down. Corinne whispered a few things to him, but he quietly assured her that he was fine. Sarah came over to speak to me.

“What’s going on?” She whispered.

“Nicole’s father.” I whispered back. “He has the same disease, Sarah. He just wanted to talk to her.”

Sarah nodded unsurely.

“W-Why’d you come b-back D-Dad?” Nicole whispered.

He looked down at his hands nervously. “I just… I just wanted to talk.”

“About what?”

“Life… you, me, lots of things I guess.”

“Oh, okay…” I could tell Nicole was slowly warming up to the conversation. I however, still felt very confused. I daren’t interrupt, however. 

His hand started to twitch and he immediately pushed it into his pocket to hide it.

“Are you okay Dad?” 

He nodded. “Yeah, yeah, fine, fine.”

“You don’t seem fine…” 

He forced a smile. “I’m completely fine Nikki, don’t worry.”

Nicole smiled slightly. “Okay.” 

“How’s everything going with Mr and Mrs Urie?” He asked.

“They’re great!” She grinned. “They’re super nice!” 

Tom looked pained through the entire conversation, but he did his best to stay positive as he talked with her.

“What have you been doing Dad?”

“I, I haven’t really been doing much.” He shrugged awkwardly. “I met Corinne?”

Nicole grinned. “That’s cool.” 

He sighed. “I guess it’s time I told you…”

“Told me what?” 

Corinne took his hand as he took a deep breath in. “Huntington’s is a genetic disease Nikki…”

“W-Wait, no…!” She panicked. “You don’t h-have it, do you Dad?!”

“I’ve had it for almost seven years Nik…”

She broke into sobs and wrapped him in a tight hug. “I-I don’t want to l-lose you. N-Not again!” 

He took a nervous breath and hugged her back with his one good hand. “I don’t want to either. I, um… it’s the reason I left. I know you think it’s because of Jax… but that’s not right.”

“H-He died thinking you h-hated him!” 

Tom looked like he was about to cry and turned away slightly. “I j-just thought it was going to be easier Nik.”

“N-Now he’ll never know…” 

“Shh.” Corinne whispered to Tom, who was indeed starting to cry.

Nicole pulled away and curled up under the sheets.

“Should we interject?” Sarah whispered.

“I don’t know…” 

“Why was it easier?” Nicole asked eventually.

Tom looked down at his hands. “Your Mom and I had just found out about Jax, and we were both crushed. But I was prepared, I was going to do everything to make sure he was happy… and then I started getting symptoms. All those times your Mom and I would fight? Yeah, that was the disease. As was the tremors. I kept it to myself for as long as I could, I didn’t want to worry anyone, but your Mom figured out when I accidently broke a plate, and then I was diagnosed. A-And then she told me that I wasn’t going to be able to parent you guys anymore, and she just pretty much kicked me out.”

“I-I’m sorry D-Dad….I-I just missed you s-so much.” 

“I missed you so much Nikki…” He whispered.

“J-Jax barely knew you. A-All he remembered was you l-leaving…” 

“I know…” He whispered. “Leaving was the hardest thing I ever did. Y-Your Mom told me that it was best if I left, that way you two wouldn’t have to see me become… this.”

“M-Mom was never even there. I-I basically had to r-raise Jaxon on m-my own.” 

“I h-had no idea until I got the call from child services.” He whispered. “If I had known, god Nikki, I never would have let that happen.”

“B-But, I’m basically i-independent now, or w-was…” She sniffled.

I took her hand in an attempt to comfort her.

“I’m so sorry Nik…” He whispered finally.

“No, no, it’s okay.” 

He just looked like he was struggling in general. Both of his hands were twitching now, and he looked like he was going to cry at any moment.

Nicole wrapped him in a hug. “You have t-to calm down D-Dad.” 

“I-I’m trying N-Nikki…” He whispered.

“I-I don’t care what happened years ago. I-I’ll always love you Dad, okay?” 

He looked at her with this horrible sadness that was hard to see, and tried to force a smile. “I’ll always love you too Nik.”

They just sat in each other's arms for awhile, until Tom started getting worse, much worse.

He pulled away in desperation and tried to control himself while everyone else watched on with a sense of concern.

“C-Can you get a doctor Corinne?” He asked.

Corrine nodded and raced past the curtains to find a doctor.

“Are you okay?” I asked nervously.

“I honestly don’t know. I might black out. I’m trying not to though, because that could be the end of my completely conscious state.”

I sat down next to him awkwardly. “Has this happened before?”

He nodded unsurely. “Used to happen all the time.”

He stared blankly at the wall, and Corinne came back with a doctor. When the doctor came in and tried to talk to him, he blacked out and fell down.

Nicole climbed out of her bed to his side. “Please be okay!” She sniffled. 

The doctor got him sitting up and summoned a nurse. The nurse brought in a bunch of equipment and the doctor started doing tests. He was taking blood pressure and such.

“Alright, we’ve got to take him away.”

Nicole burst into tears. Corinne wrapped her in a hug before going with the doctor and Tom.

I lifted Nicole back onto the bed and she cried into the pillow.

“He’ll be okay Nic.” I whispered, hugging her tightly.

She just kept crying, so I started to sing. It took 5 songs to calm her down entirely, and she just lay silent in my arms.

“I-I’m sc-scared Dad.” She whispered.

“What of Nic?”

“T-That Dad’s not going to be okay…” She took a shaky breath. “T-That that’s going to happen to me.”

“If it does happen to you, it won’t be for a long time.” I assured. 

“B-But it’ll still happen!” She cried. 

“It’s okay, You’ll be okay.”

She just sat and cried in my arms.

I glanced over at Sarah, hoping she’d help me figure out what to do, but she just shrugged.

“I-I miss Jaxon…” She whispered..

“I know.” I whispered back. “We all do.”

“C-Can we v-visit him w-when I get out?”

“Of course bub.” Sarah assured. “Of course we can.”

“I-I shouldn’t have l-left it so long to see h-him again.”

“You couldn’t help that.” I assured. “There’s been a lot going on.”

“I know...” She frowned.

“We’ll make sure that everything is sorted.” I told her firmly.

She nodded unsurely.

Corinne returned. “He’s okay.” She told us.

“W-What happened?”

“Um… something to do with the brain and then something to do with the immune system. I’m not entirely sure, but I’m not sure the doctor’s are either. His HD is just flaring up again. Either way, he’s fine now. Just resting.”

“O-Oh, okay.”

“I should probably head back… he just wanted me to let you know.”

“O-Oh, okay, that’s fine.”

She smiled at us before leaving.

Nicole started calming down slightly.

“Do you know how much longer I have to be here Dad?” She asked.

“No, I don’t. Sorry Nic.”

She sighed. “It’s okay.”

“It shouldn’t be too much longer though.”

“I’ll go find a doctor.” Sarah said, leaving the room.

She then looked up at me and smiled, seemingly for no reason.

“Why are you smiling?” I asked.

“You let me see my Dad. When you went out to talk to him, I thought you were going to send him away.”

“I wasn’t going to send him away Nic. I was just unsure of whether or not you wanted to see him. After all, all you’d told me about him was bad things.”

“Well that’s because I like keeping happy memories to myself. It’s half the reason I can stay happy.”

I shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“All my most vivid memories of him were bad though, so yeah.”

“Did you think it was good to see him?” I asked.

She smiled and nodded. “Yeah.. I really missed him.”

“He did seem to get a bit, um, unwell towards the end though…”

She nodded glumly.

“He really cares about you. It was cute to watch.”

Nicole blushed slightly. “Y-Yeah, I guess so.”

“Do you want to see him again?”

“Yeah, kind of…”

“That’s fine. We’ll see if we can organise something.” I smiled.

She smiled. “Thanks.”

Sarah walked back in. “If all is still good by tomorrow, you can come home bub.”

She grinned. “Awesome!”

“And even better, they say we can go for a walk to go and see your Dad.”

“Yay!” She cheered, essentially leaping off the bed.

I put a hand on her shoulder. “Take it easy Nic. You’re still in the hospital. Intensive care, may I add.”

She frowned. “I’m sorry...”

“It’s fine.” I assured. “Let’s just take it slow.”

“I don’t like being slow! That’s why I run!”

I sighed. “Please Nic?”

“I’m fine!” She assured, giggling happily as she bounced about.

“Nic please!” I pleaded. “They’re not going to let you go if you’re like this!”

“So they won't let me go if they see I’m fine?”

“No, this just increases the risk of you  _ not  _ being fine, and they don’t want to risk that bub. And neither do we.” Sarah explained.

She shrugged. “Ï don’t care.”

“I guess we’re not going then.” I sighed, slumping back into the bed. “You might as well get back in bed.”

She frowned. “I’m sorry.” She murmured, climbing back into bed.

“We can still go, you just have to walk, not run or skip or bounce or whatever you were doing before.” Sarah explained gently.

“No, we’ll just stay.” She mumbled.

I started to feel quite bad. “Fine! We’re going!”

“N-No, it’s okay.”

“Don’t you want to see your Dad?”

“I-I want you happy m-more.”

“We’re happy to take you.” Sarah assured. “Come on, let’s go.”

She shook her head. “I wanna stay now.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Cause I made you frustrated and now I feel bad.”

“Staying is only frustrating me more.” I grumbled.

“What do you want?!” She cried. “I just want to make you happy!”

“Nicole we want you to be happy!” I snapped. “So let’s go already!”

She just burst into tears.

Sarah sighed. “Nic, what do  _ you  _ want to do?”

“I don’t know anymore!”

“Do you want to go see Tom?” She offered. 

“I-I don’t know!” She panicked.

“Look, if you want to go, we’re more than happy to take you bub. If you want to stay, that’s okay too. It’s all up to you.” Sarah explained.

“I-I don’t know…” She whimpered.

“Um… I guess we’ll stay here then? If you want to go at any time, just let us know.”

“I d-do kinda wanna go…” She murmured.

“Alright, let’s go.”

We walked to where Nicole’s Dad was, and I trailed behind her to make sure she was okay.

We reached the room and she stopped outside and took a shaky breath.

“Are you alright bub?”

She nodded. “Just… nervous.”

“That’s okay. Are you ready to go in?”

She nodded and opened the door.

Tom was sitting in the bed, staring blankly at the sports game on the TV. His clothes had been replaced with a hospital gown, and Corinne was talking with a nurse in the corner.

“D-Dad?” Nicole whispered.

He turned to us. “Oh, Hi everyone…”

“Y-You’re okay, right?”

“Other than the fact that I’m here, I’m doing fine.” He smiled. “Come sit down.”

Nicole sat down hesitantly beside him. Sarah and I just stood at the door.

“I’m sorry you had to see that Nikki…” He murmured.

“No, it’s fine now that I know you’re okay.”

He smiled slightly and looked down at his hands.

Nicole, without warning wrapped him in a hug.

“O-Oh, okay.” He seemed a little startled, but attempted to hug her back.

“I love you so much.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Nicole snuggled up in his arms. “Please don’t leave.”

“No, no, I’m not going to leave.” He assured, patting her back awkwardly. I could sense his discomfort from the other side of the room.

Nicole sniffled slightly. It was hard to tell what she was feeling. I assumed she was happy, but everything else said otherwise.

“How are you feeling Nikki?” Tom asked eventually.

“I-I don’t know.” She whispered.

“Oh...okay.”

She sat up slightly and also began staring blankly at the TV, taking constant deep breaths.

“Nic?” I asked, becoming quite nervous at the sight of her like this.

“Mmm?” She asked, half-heartedly.

“Are you okay?”

She shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”

That got Sarah worried. She walked over and looked Nicole’s face over. “I think we should head back bub, you’re quite pale.”

She shook her head. “I’m alright, don’t worry.” She assured.

“Are you sure?” Tom sounded quite worried as well.

She shrugged. “Dunno.”

“Yeah, I think we should head back.” Sarah repeated.

Nicole shook her head once again, although not providing a response this time.

Sarah tried to pull her off the bed, but she clung onto Tom for dear life.

“Please bub, you can come back in a little while.”

Tom pried her fingers off him. “You know I love you Nik, I just think you need to go back with Mr and Mrs Urie for a little bit, at least until you’re feeling a bit better.”

“But I’m fine!’

“I’m not sure you are Nikki.” He whispered.

“W-Why not?” She whispered.

“Because I know that look.” He explained nervously. “Nik, I think you’re on the verge of a seizure, and you really need to be back in your room before that happens.”

She frowned. “Th-the doctor’s c-can’t know if I h-have one, b-because then I c-can’t go home!”

He just looked at her sadly, then up at me and Sarah. “You should take her back now.”

I lifted her off of Tom and just ended up carrying her back to the room. She made herself comfortable, with her head rested on my shoulder and she was silent the entire way.

We reached the bed and I laid her down, and tucked her in. “How are you feeling now Nic?”

“Still pretty bad.” She whispered, snuggling into the sheets.

“I’ll go find a doctor bub.” Sarah assured, leaving the room.

“S-Sorry for being a pain Dad.” She whispered.

“No, no, you’re not a pain at all.” I promised. “This is fine.”

She nodded slightly. “I-I’m gonna fall asleep b-before anything bad c-can happen.”

I decided not to tell her that it would still happen while she was asleep.

She slowly drifted to sleep. I watched as she started shaking unknowingly.

“Oh jeez Nic…” I sighed as I watched the seizure grow worse. “This really isn’t good.”

Sarah returned with a doctor, and we got pushed out of the room as they tried to do stuff to help her. My phone started ringing.

“Hello?” I asked, answering the call.

“Hello Brendon. Where are you?” Dr Jo asked.

“Oh, I’m at the hospital…”

“The hospital? Is everything okay?”

“Uh, I don’t know. We’re just waiting to hear about Nicole because she just started having a seizure…”

“Oh dear…” She murmured. “Would you like me to reschedule today’s session?”

“Well, I’ll see if I can come in.”

“Um… it started 15 minutes ago. That’s why I called.”

“Oh, sorry.” I murmured. “I didn’t even realise.”

“That’s okay Brendon. I have a slot at 5:30, can you make it for then?”

“Hopefully. I’ll call if anything else comes up.”

“Alright. See you later Brendon. Good luck with Nicole.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

I hung up the call and walked back to Sarah. “Heard anything?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

“She’s going to be really upset that she can’t go home tomorrow…” I sighed.

“Yeah…” She mumbled.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Is this going to be her life now? Our lives?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Bren, maybe.”

“This is… I don’t want this to become normal.” I kicked a bin over in frustration.

“I know, but you need to calm down Bren.”

I kicked it again. “I don’t want to calm down!”

“Brendon, please!”

I felt my shoulders sag and I collapsed onto the seat. “T-This sucks Sarah.”

“I know, I know.” 

I hugged her and tried to suppress the tears that were dotting the corners of my eyes.

“We’ll get through it Bren.”

“I-I sure h-hope so.”

She held me tight. “I believe you can Bren.”

“Thanks S-Sarah.” I whispered.

“You can see her now.” The doctor came out and told us.

I took Sarah’s hand and we walked in. Nicole was still sleeping, which comforted me a little bit. I just hoped it would all blow over fine.

“I assumed you would have realised, but we’re going to keep her here a bit longer.”

I nodded glumly. “That’s fine.”

“If she wakes up, come and find me or another doctor.” He said before leaving.

Nicole still looked peaceful. I brushed some hair away from her face. 

“This is so hard.”

She woke up and burst into tears. 

“It’s alright Nic, it’ll be alright.”

Her tears just deepened. 

“Are you alright bub?” Sarah asked. 

Nicole nodded and choked on her words. “I-I just, E-Everything h-hurts physically.”

“I’m going to get the doctor, alright bub?”

Nicole nodded unsurely and curled up on the bed.

“Is it getting better?” I asked hopefully.

She shook her head.

“Well, Sarah will sort something out, I promise.”

She let out a whimper of pain and grabbed my hand for support.

“Don’t worry Nic.” I assured. “You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”

But a small voice inside me said that it wasn’t true.


	23. Chapter 22 - One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

“So how am I looking this morning?” I asked mindlessly as the nurse took note of all my vitals on the clipboard.

“Eh…” She murmured. “Arm out.”

I put my arm out and she took my blood pressure. I cringed slightly at the squeeze.

“How is it?”

“Still a bit high, but you’re on the mend.” She smiled slightly.

“Does that mean I can go home today?”

She shook her head. “I’m afraid not. But in good news, they’re going to move you from intensive care into just the regular hospital. And you’ll get a double room instead of being in the massive IC ward.”

“Oh… okay.” I murmured. “I guess that’s fine then.”

“Still having lots of physical pain?” She asked, looking back down at the clipboard.

“Just a little, not a lot.” I answered.

“On a scale on one to ten, one being fine and ten being the worst thing imaginable, what would it be?”

“A four?”

She nodded and wrote that down. “Anywhere in particular?”

“Not really, but my feet hurt a lot.”

“Hmm… alright. Anything else you want me to write down here for the doctors?”

“Let me go?”

She chuckled slightly. “No, seriously.”

“I was serious.”

She wrote something down, although I wasn’t sure what it said.

“Alright, well, I have to go. I think your parents will be here anyway.”

I sighed and flopped back onto the bed. There wasn’t much to do here, and the last time I started playing with the buttons to entertain myself, I got in trouble, so I just stared at the machines.

“Hey Nic!” Dad beamed.

“Hi.” I murmured. 

“What’s up Nic?” He asked, sitting down.

“I just wanna go home.” 

He nodded in understanding. “I know. Good news is they’re moving you today at least. And I hear your new room has a TV.”

I frowned. “I don’t like TV.”

Dad sighed. “Well, it’s there anyway.”

“Alright…”

“I bought you something today!” His face lit up.

“What’d you buy….?” I asked unsurely.

He grinned as he placed a wrapped box on the bed. “I just got a big paycheck, and I thought it was about time I splurged a little on the people I love.”

I sighed and took the box into my hands. I made an effort to unwrap it as slowly as possible.

“Aww! Come on! Open it!” Dad was seemingly bouncing up and down in excitement.

I gasped when I realised what it was. “Dad! You did not!”

He grinned. “Yep, I did.”

“Why do you spoil me so much? 

“Because I love you Nic.” He smiled. “And I figured a good remedy for being bored in hospital, would be to get you an iPad.”

“You’re the best Dad!” I grinned wrapping him in a hug.

He chuckled and hugged me back. “I’m glad you like it Nic.”

“How could I  _ not _ like it?!”

He just grinned and handed me an itunes card. “Here. It’s got a modem in it because the new house doesn’t have wifi installed just yet, plus that means you can use the internet while you’re in the hospital.”

I smiled. “Thank you so much.”

He picked at the plastic. “So should we get it set up?”

I nodded. “As long as you help.”

We unwrapped it and got it all setup and I downloaded some games to play. 

The nurse from before came in, without her clipboard this time. “Alright, we’re going to move you to the other room now.”

I got out of the bed. “Okay.”

We walked out to the new room, and they wouldn’t let me run, or bounce, or basically show any sign of energy so I just dragged my feet along the floor behind them.

Dad carried all my things and followed us. The new room was much quieter, and the bed was near the window, which was nice too.

The nurse soon left and it was once again just Dad and I. I stared outside of the window. There wasn’t much, but it was better than just being trapped in the hospital.

“This is nice…”

“Yeah, it’s not too bad.”

He glanced over at the other bed. “Are you going to have a roommate?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Either way, this room is nicer than the other.”

I nodded. “Hopefully I won’t be here long though. I don’t like my chances.” I sighed.

“Yeah, true.”

“It’s sort of a given now, since I have a proper room.” I mumbled.

Dad shook his head. “You’ll be out of here before you know it.”

“Mmm totally.” I rolled my eyes.

Dad sighed and handed me my new iPad. “Here Nic. Play some games or something.”

I spent a little while just mucking around and going into everything and changing the wallpapers. I played a little bit of a game before I started getting drowsy. I forced my eyes open, reminding myself it was only the start of the day.

Dad looked up from his phone. “It’s okay Nic. You can sleep if you want.”

“N-No, it’s only like…” I mumbled, checking the time. “11.”

“It’s a side effect of the medication Nic. It’s okay.”

“I don’t even need it…” I murmured.

“Just, get some sleep.” He pulled the ipad out of my hands.

I snuggled up in the sheets and stared out the window until I fell asleep.

When I woke up, the clock on the wall read 2pm, and the bed on the other side of the room was filled with a boy about my age. He was crying.

I looked around and Dad wasn’t around. I gulped slightly and sat up. 

“Are you okay?” I asked the boy.

He furiously wiped away tears. “I d-didn’t realise you were up…”

“I only just woke up...”

“J-Just, pretend you didn’t see that.” He whispered.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Fine.” He grumbled.

“O-Okay, just asking.” I defended.

“What’s your name anyway?” He asked.

“Nicole. Yours?”

“Jayden.”

“Nice to meet you Jayden.”

“Same I guess.” He mumbled.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what brings you here?” I questioned.

“Nosy much?” He sighed. “It happened yesterday. I was riding my dirt bike, and then I was racing this other guy, and then I fell. I don’t remember much after that… I think I was unconscious, but when I woke up this morning, the doctors told me that I’m never going to walk again, so I’m feeling just  _ great. _ ”

“That’s horrible!” I frowned slightly. “I’m so sorry.”

“It is what it is.” He mumbled. “Why are you here?”

“It’s this thing, called Huntington’s disease or something. It’s hard to explain, but basically I’m slowly dying. My brain is slowly dying and eventually I will basically become a vegetable.”

“That makes me sound like a massive whiner… that sucks man, I’m sorry.”

I shrugged. “It’s nothing. You’re fine though, don’t worry.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m  _ fine. _ ” He grumbled. “I have a bag of pee hanging off the side of my bed.”

I sighed and gave up talking. I just started looking out the window again.

“How long are you here for?” He asked.

“I don’t know. I was supposed to leave today or something but I had a seizure so it was pushed back.” I sighed.

“That sucks. I’m here for three weeks.”

“Well, luckily it’s not in ICU. That’s worse than here.”

He nodded. “I suppose that it’s good that I’m here.”

“Yeah…”

“So… what school do you go to?” Jayden asked mindlessly.

“Westmin Academy? I think that’s what it’s called.”

He smiled. “I go there too. Haven’t seen you around though.”

“Well there’s been lots of family stuff, and I was suspended, so yeah.”

“That makes sense then.” He shrugged. “Oh, were you the one who gave Lucy what was coming to her?”

“Oh, uh, yeah? I guess?”

He grinned at me. “Awesome.”

“I wouldn’t say awesome. I was just frustrated. And I’m pretty sure this stupid disease had something to do with it.”

“Yeah, but to be honest, she’s such an idiot. She’s really had it coming for a really long time, and I’m glad someone had the guts to do something.”

“Is she alright though?”” 

“She’s fine. Got a black eye, but it’s nearly gone.”

I frowned slightly. “Are you sure she’s okay?”

He laughed. “She’s fine, Nicole. Honestly. She’s lapping up all the attention like she’s got cancer or something.”

I sighed. “Alright.”

“You seem cool.” He smiled slightly. “Tell me more about you.”

“There’s not much more to tell.”

“I met your Dad before, while you were sleeping. He was cool.”

I smiled. “Yeah, he’s pretty awesome.”

“He seemed pretty scared too, you know. He looked like he was almost crying.”

I frowned slightly. “I wonder why.”

“Yeah. He said that it was because you were sick and all. He was interrogating me to watch you and to call a nurse if anything happened while he went to get a hotdog. I think he’s bringing me one, actually.”

I giggled slightly. “Okay. That does sound a lot like him, actually.”

Jayden grinned. “Yeah, he was cool. I hope he gets me onion…”

I shrugged. “Who knows? It’s Brendon. He could do anything.”

Brendon waltzed back in with 4 hotdogs and a ukulele.

I raised an eyebrow. “What are you up to?”

He threw me a hotdog, and one to Jayden, before sitting up on the windowsill. “Nothing much.”

“I see.” I murmured, still a bit skeptical.

“I thought you might like a song or something, and I was hungry.”

“Thanks for the onions Brendon.” Jayden grinned.

He shrugged. “It’s fine.”

I took a bite out of the hotdog and grinned. “This is the best thing I’ve had in a long time.”

“Instead of the iPad you wanted a hotdog?”

“Sorry, hospital food just sucks.” I murmured. “Well at least the rabbit food they feed me is.”

Jayden wrinkled his nose up. “I hope they don’t give me that.”

“They won’t, don’t worry. I’m not supposed to have anything unhealthy or tastes good, basically.” I sighed.

“That sucks…”

Brendon’s shoulders sagged as he watched me eat. “Jeez Nic, now you’re worrying me.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you’re not meant to be eating that…”

I shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”

He nervously nodded. “Mmkay…”

I grinned and finished eating. “Got anymore?”

He put the second hotdog behind his back. “I think it’s best if you don’t have any more. I’ve broken the rules enough, and I don’t want you back in intensive care.”

I frowned and curled up on the bed. I just stared out the window and pouted.

Brendon picked up the ukulele and began to strum.

I just tried to tune out the music, because I was just in a bad mood and there was no way I would enjoy it.

Brendon sighed when he realised it wasn’t working and put it down. “I’m sorry Nic.”

“It’s not your fault.” I sighed.

The nurse from before walked back into take my vitals.

I sat in silence and continued my bad mood while she checked everything. I had no reason to be happy.

“And done.” She smiled, writing everything down and moving onto Jayden.

I covered myself with the bedsheets and just started crying. Everything was making me sad. It was like the world is trying to beat me down to nothing but pulp and I just couldn't handle it.

“Everything okay Nic?” Brendon asked, pulling the sheet down.

“N-Not really.” I sniffled.

“What’s wrong?”

“J-Just everything!” I cried.

Dad gently stroked my hair and held me in his arms as I cried. By the time I was finished, Jayden had visitors of his own and the curtains had been drawn to separate the room.

“Feeling better?” Dad asked.

“I d-don’t even know.” I murmured. “I-I’m tired…”

He gently got out of my grasp. “Just have a sleep Nic. When you wake up, your Mom should be here.”

“I d-don’t know Dad…”

“You should sleep. You need to rest.”

I looked up at him. “I love you Dad.”

He smiled. “I love you too Nic.”

******* Sarah’s Point of View *******

“Here.”

Kaitlyn looked at the large wad of cash I’d placed in her hands and immediately tried to hand it back.

“Bub, all your art stuff was burned in the fire. This is so you can go and get some more.”

“I-It’s too much!” She panicked.

I shook my head. “I found the receipts of what your Dad paid for the first lot. This was the amount, and so, this is what insurance gave us. You can get whatever you want bub, it’s your money.”

“I-I don't need to get anything! I have enough stuff, I swear!”

“Kaitlyn, this is  _ your  _ money, for your art stuff. Or whatever else you want to buy, I guess. But the money belongs to you, to do with it what you want.”

“N-No, please, y-you keep it.” She whispered.

I shook my head. “We’re at the mall now. Come on, let’s do some shopping. I have some money of my own to spend.”

Kaitlyn shoved the money in her pocket and trailed behind me.

“So what kind of shop do you want to look in?” I asked mindlessly.

“I don’t know…” 

“There’s an art shop over there, should we go look?”

“No, you d-do what you want.” 

I sighed and led her over there anyway.

She just wandered around the store for awhile before getting a few of the cheapest pencils and sketchbooks. 

I sighed and watched. “Kaitlyn, you do realise that you can get more if you want? It’s your money bub, you can get some things that you’ve really wanted for a while.”

She shrugged. “I don’t need any more, so what’s the point in buying extra? I don’t even really need this.” 

“It’s not about what you need bub, it’s about what you want. It’s about what’ll make you happy.”

She turned around and grabbed a few more things and paid for all of it.

I smiled. “Got some cool things?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

“Where else do you want to look?”

She shrugged. “Go somewhere you want to next.” 

I took her to a clothing boutique and walked around and looked at everything. I didn’t really see anything I wanted, so I turned to Kaitlyn to choose the next store.

She walked into a bookstore and started looking through art books. She got a few books and also a few others books I didn’t see the titles of. I figured I’d ask her about it later.

I bought a book for myself, and a book of sudoku’s for Nicole. I read online that it might help her, so I figured it was worth a try.

“Where do you wanna go Mom?”

“I don’t mind bub. You can choose.”

“What about a toy store?”

“Sure.” I smiled.

She walked through the mall and walked into a toy store. She stopped in front of the stuffed toys. 

“Which one do you think he would've wanted?”

“I-I, um…” I stammered.

She picked up a big fluffy one.

“How about this?” She asked.

“S-Sure?” I squeaked nervously. “Um… W-What are you doing with this Kaitlyn?”

She shrugged. “Well we lost all our stuff, and he lost his, so I think it’s fair if we replace at least  _ one  _ of his things.”

I took the bear from her hands and put it back on the shelf. “It’s really sweet what you’re doing bub… but we’ve all been through alot and Nic and Bren have only just gotten over the grief… I don’t think it’s best if we bring home something that could make them sad again.”

“I miss him too. I just want something nice to cuddle with that can remind me of him.” 

“Alright bub.” I handed it back to her. “Just don’t tell Nic and Bren that it’s about him.”

She nodded and snuggled with the bear.

I looked at the wall of soft toys. “Do you think we should get one for Nicole?”

Kaitlyn just shrugged. “I'm not sure.”

I found one that looked like a cat. “This is cute, right?”

She smiled and nodded.

We went to the counter and paid, before heading back out into the mall. “Do you want some food?”

She shrugged and continued snuggling with the bear.

We went to the food court and I bought some lunch. Kaitlyn only ate half, but it was enough for me to be satisfied that she was actually eating.

She was still very smiley, yet silent.

“It’s nice to see you happy bub.” I smiled.

She nodded. “I just feel good. I don't know why. It's nice though.”

“It is.” I grinned.

“What are we doing next?”

“A bit more shopping and then we’re heading to go see Nic.” I explained.

She nodded. “How's she going?”

“Good apparently. She’s been moved out of intensive care, and just into a normal room.”

Kaitlyn grinned. “That's awesome.”

I smiled. “Yeah. She’ll be glad to see you bub.”

“I've missed her. Maybe we should find her a present. Well, we got the cat, I suppose. I just want to get something else.”

I smiled. “Okay bub. Any ideas?”

“Not really. I don't know what she'd like.”

I thought about it. “What about…. hmm... this is hard. She likes running, but she can’t run in hospital, and she likes cooking, but she can’t cook in hospital…”

“What about jewelry?”

“That could be nice. What if we got a fitness band or something? So she can look at all that while she’s running.” I suggested.

“That's a good idea.”

We finished lunch and I took Kaitlyn to the electronics store to pick one.

She ended up choosing one with a blue band that showed the heart rate, counted steps and such.

“C-Can I g-get one too Mom?” She asked quietly.

“Yeah, of course Bub.”

She hesitantly grabbed one and curled up behind me. “D-do we need anything e-else?”

“Not that I know of. Should we get a present for your father too?”

She nodded. “W-What though?”

I shrugged. “Let’s go to a music store and see if there’s anything cool there.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

We walked around the music store for a little bit but didn’t find anything amazing that was sticking out.

“Hmm…” I murmured. “This is hard.”

Kaitlyn nodded. “Certainly is.”

“What else might your father like?”

She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.” 

“Do you reckon he’d appreciate some candy?”

She smiled and nodded.

“Let’s go to the candy store then.” I grinned.

We walked to the candy store and Kaitlyn immediately started picking out lots of different candies.

I grabbed some mints for myself and some twizzlers for Brendon. “You can pick something too if you want bub.”

She shook her head. “It’s fine.”

“Okay. Bring me what you’ve got and we’ll check out.”

She carried up an armful of candy and placed it on the counter.

I was paying when she placed something else on the counter. “F-For Nicole. She said she likes these.”

I sighed. “Alright then.”

“W-Why are you mad?” She whispered.

“She’s just not supposed to have unhealthy things.”

She hesitantly put it back on the shelf.

“No,, it’s alright, you can get it if you want.”

She shook her head and picked the shopping bags up off the floor.

Once everything was all bagged, I took a few bags from her and we headed out to the car.

“That was fun, right?” I smiled.

She shrugged. “I guess.”

“Did you have a good time?”

“I guess?”

“Well, I did.” I smiled. “Let’s go see Nic.”

She put everything into the back of the car and sat down in the passenger seat beside me.

My phone started ringing, and I put it on the bluetooth.

“S-Sarah?” Brendon asked shakily.

“What’s wrong Bren? Is Nicole okay?”

“N-Not really…”

“What happened? Is she having another seizure?”

“T-The worst one y-yet. She’s back in ICU.”

I sighed. “Alright, we’re heading there now anyway.”

“See y-you soon.”

He hung up and we made our way to the hospital.

Brendon met us in the waiting room. “T-They’re not letting us in yet.”

Kaitlyn nervously handed him the bag of candy.

“Thanks little worm.” He breathed.

“I-Is she going to be o-okay?” She asked nervously.

“I honestly don’t know.” He admitted.

“She’ll be okay Bub.” I assured. “She’s a fighter.”

“I-I hope she’s okay…”

“Thanks for the candy.” Brendon smiled as he tore a packet open.

Kaitlyn nodded and nervously sat down.

We waited about two hours before a doctor came out and explained anything to us. It was just another seizure, just higher intensity, and she was going to stay in the hospital for a little bit longer until they figured out what to do about it.

Kaitlyn burst into tears and curled up on the chair.

“Would you like to see her?” The doctor offered.

We nodded and walked into the room. Kaitlyn followed unsurely.

Nicole was awake, but not fully. Oxygen tubes sat behind her ears and finished in her nose. She smiled when she saw us.

“Moooom! Daaaaaaad!” 

We wrapped her in a hug as Kaitlyn choked back a sob.

“Kaity! I haven’t seen you in foooooooooorever!” Nicole held her arms out. “I wanna hug!”

Kaitlyn nervously walked up and wrapped her in a light hug.

Nicole squeezed her tight. “I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too.”

“How have you beeeeeen?”

“A-Alright?”

“I looooooove you Kaity!” Nicole grinned, still not letting go of the hug.

“I love you too?”

“Mmmm.” She murmured happily.

I could sense Kaitlyn’s discomfort and gently peeled Nicole away from her. “We got you some things while we were shopping today Bub.”

“What’s yoooooou get?”

I handed her the cat. “This, and also this.” And I put the watch on the bed.

She smiled. “Thank yoooou.” She murmured,

I smiled. “No problem Nic. Are you feeling better?”

She nodded. “I do, kinda.”

“That’s good.” I smiled.

She grinned and nodded.

“Do you want some candy?” Brendon offered, before I nudged him with my foot.

She shook her head. “I’m fiiine.”

I internally breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Moooom my hand is shaking agaaaain!” She complained.

“Alright, I’ll go talk to a doctor and see if they can help, alright?” 

“Okaaaay…” She murmured. Then her face fell slightly. “I think myyyyy feet are shaking toooooo.”

I nodded unsurely. “I’ll be back.”

“Byeeeeeee Mooooom.”


	24. Chapter 23 - The One Without a Name

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

“I’m still not sure about this…” Sarah murmured. “You just spent 3 weeks in hospital bub…”

I straightened my shirt. “Please don’t worry Mom, I’m going to be  _ fine _ . Look, Kaitlyn’s going to be there, and I’ve got people to talk to, and all the teachers are bloody first aid trained. You don’t need to worry.”

Mom forced a nervous smile and handed me my school bag. “If at any point this gets too much, just go to the office and call me. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“I’m going to be  _ fine. _ ” I assured. “Please stop worrying. You’re stressing me out.”

“If you’re stressed then maybe…”

“I’m going!” I snapped. Then I realised and sighed. “Sorry…”

She hugged me. “It’s okay Nic. It’s okay.”

I hugged her silently until I pulled away. “I really have to go, I don’t want to be late.”

Sarah forced a nod. “I’m going to speak to your principal today, too.”

I cringed. “Do you need to?”

“Yes, Nicole. I really need to.” She said firmly.

“B-But what if they like, take me out and say I can’t go there!” I panicked. “Sarah please!”

She sighed. “They’re not going to stop you from going to school Nic. They can’t do that.”

“ _ No,  _ but they can stop me from going to  _ that  _ school! Who knows where they’ll send me?!”

“Shh. Relax Nic.”

I folded my arms. “I’m not happy about this.”

“I know.” She sighed. “Let’s just go. Go find Kaitlyn.”

I walked into Kaitlyn’s room. “We’re leaving now.”

She nodded and picked her bag up. “Did you talk Mom out of making you stay home?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

She half-smiled and followed me out to the car.

Sarah drove us, mostly in silence, occasionally shooting back glances to look at me. I assumed it was to make sure that I wasn’t about to have another seizure.

“I’m fine Mom.”

Her eyes flicked back to the road.

I sighed and watched the window until we arrived at the school. Kaitlyn and I headed to class while Mom went to the office. I felt my hand start to twitch again, so I just shoved it in my pocket and followed Kaitlyn.

She met up with her friends, Dana and Phil. I awkwardly stood next to them in silence, not really a part of the conversation.

“We heard what happened to your house!” Dana exclaimed. “Are you okay?”

Kaitlyn nodded. “Yeah, we’re fine. We’ve just moved into a new house, actually. It’s pretty cool.”

Phil grinned. “Good to hear.”

Kaitlyn shrugged. “O-Oh, is it okay if Nicole stays with us today? Mom says I have to watch her.”

I clenched my good hand into a fist.

“Yeah, that’s awesome.” Dana smiled. “Welcome to the nutcase group Nic.”

I shrugged. “Cool.”

The bell rang through the halls and I turned to Kaitlyn. “We should probably head to class.”

She nodded. “Let’s go.”

We were let into the classroom and took our seats at the back of the room. We had come back to school in the middle of assessment, so everyone had their books out and were studying. Kaitlyn pulled out a sketchbook and started to draw Dad, who was seemingly her favourite subject. I just sat in silence and watched the clock tick.

“Are you ready for the maths exam?” Byron asked Kaitlyn.

“I-Is it today?” She asked nervously.

He nodded. “Yep.”

I knew I could wing it, after all, I was repeating this year. I’d done all the work before. Kaitlyn, on the other hand, looked like she was about to throw up.

“Don’t worry.” Byron assured. “It’s all just revision stuff anyway. Here, have a look at these. This is what’s on there.”

Kaitlyn looked over the pieces of paper. “I know how to do this…”

Byron smiled. “See? You’ll be fine. Do you want me to show you to the exam room?”

“Only if it’s not too much trouble…”

He grinned. “Of course.”

I rolled my eyes playfully. It wasn’t easy to miss that he liked her. In fact, it was rather obvious. I still couldn’t believe that Kaitlyn couldn’t see it.

I followed behind them and was met by a collection of nervous students.

Everyone was looking through their notes frantically, going over what they knew and didn’t know. I was fairly confident and didn’t really bother, but I was rather concerned about the twitching hand in my pocket.

Kaitlyn wavered around me, along with her friends. “How do you feel about being thrown into a test?”

“I’ll be fine.” I shrugged.

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

The teachers let us into the room and everyone took a seat at a desk. I got out all my pencils and my calculator and looked at my hand. It was still twitching.

I slapped it, but nothing happened other than a few people looking to see what I was doing. I tried to pick up the pen and write my name, but the twitch made it unrecognisable.

“Time has started! You may open your exam books!” The teacher called from the front of the room.

I gave up on the name, deciding to complete it if I had any time left, and opened to the first question. It was quite simple - one of those algebra  _ find x in this equation  _ type things. I shook my hand out and attempted to pick the pen back up.

I did the question to the best of my ability, before looking at it with a sigh. I couldn’t read it, and that would make it impossible for anyone else to have any clue. I picked the pen up with my other hand and studied it for a moment. Left handed messy writing would be better than ineligible, right?

And then the worst thing possible happened. My left hand started twitching too.

“N-No!” I panicked, slapping it against my thigh. The teacher looked up and gave me a death glare.

I tried to write the question out again, attempting to keep it as neat as possible. But the end result didn’t change - it wasn’t eligible. Nobody was going to understand what I had written - and that meant that I was going to fail this exam. All because of a stupid twitch that I couldn’t control.

Nobody ever wants to be that kid that cries in the exam room. Except I couldn’t control it. I rested my head on the paper and just cried. I hadn’t even been back at school for an hour - and I’d already proven that I couldn’t handle it. I doubted Sarah would ever let me back here.

The teacher approached me. “What’s wrong? Did you not study?”

I looked down at my hands. “I w-want you to go back t-to your computer and google ‘Huntington’s Disease’.” I instructed simply.

She seemed confused but did as I said. I watched her facial expressions as she read through the article, and she occasionally glanced up at me with a hint of worry. She returned to me a few minutes later with a note to go see the nurse, and sent me out of the exam room.

I walked to the nurse, holding the note in my trembling hands.

She read it, then read it again, and then told me she didn’t really know what to do, so sat me down in the sick bay with a teddy bear and called my Mom. I dreaded Sarah arriving, I already could picture what she was going to say.

“I couldn’t get through one lesson.” I scolded myself

Both my hands were still twitching, and I buried them back in my pockets in frustration,

Sarah raced in. “I shouldn’t have let you go.”

“I-I’m f-fine… it’s j-just my hands…”

“Let’s just get you home.”

I hung my head in shame as I followed her out to the car.

“Maybe a few more days, alright bub?”

“I-I was fine!” I tried to defend. “If my s-stupid hands hadn’t stuffed up in the exam I would’ve been fine!”

“I know Nicole, I know.”

I huffed and folded my arms after I got in the passenger seat.

“Please don’t be like this Nicole.”

“I j-just…” I sniffled. “I f-feel so useless Mom. I couldn't even make it one day!”

“I know it’s hard. We just have to push on.”

I sniffled again and curled up. I didn’t say another word for the rest of the drive.

“Now, we just have to pick your father up from therapy.” Sarah explained as she took the turn. We arrived fairly quickly and had some time to spare.

“Come on, let’s go sit inside.”

I shook my head. “I just want to stay here.”

“Yes, but I have to speak to reception about something and I’m not comfortable leaving you out here by yourself.”

“P-Please don’t m-make me go in…”

Long story short, she made me go in. I sat down next to the fish tank in silence to stew. Sarah went and talked to the woman at reception, and eventually Dad came out from his appointment. He looked like he’d been crying.

“A-Are you okay D-dad?” I asked.

He just shrugged.

“Okay, that would be amazing, thanks. Nicole, come here bub.” Sarah gestured to me.

I reluctantly made my way up to the reception desk.

“So this is Rebecca, and she’s going to be your new psychologist.” She introduced.

I nodded unsurely.

The woman held her hand out. “It’s nice to meet you Nicole.”

“Uh… same here I guess.”

“Well, let’s go on through to my office, and we’ll get started.” She smiled.

I frowned. “I wanted to go home…”

Sarah sighed. “I know Nic. I just think this will be good for you.”

“Come on, I promise I’m not that bad.” Rebecca gave me a smile.

I frowned. “ _ Fine. _ ”

I followed her back through the corridor to an office. It was pretty ordinary, I guess. It had a couch, and a desk, and an office chair. There was a bookshelf on the wall with books with titles like:  _ 7 steps to a new you, No more bedwetting, Overcoming depression for over 50’s - a self help guide,  _ and about the biggest textbook I’d ever seen in my life.

“Welcome! Sit down, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you some water?”

I shook my head. “I’d probably just spill it anyway.”

“Alright, how has your day been so far?”

“Pretty horrible, actually.” I stated blandly.

“Why's that?”

“Because I cried in the maths exam, proved I have no capability to do simple things by myself, and probably made my already over-protective mother into some sort of bodyguard.”

“I see how that could make you sad.”

“ _ Yeah, No kidding. _ ” I sneered.

“I'm sorry for whatever I've done to upset you Nicole. I assure you, I didn't mean to.”

“Sorry… I’m just annoyed at the world at the moment.” I sighed.

“That’s understandable.” She nodded. “Anyway, let’s start. Do you know why your Mom sent you here?”

I shook my head. “Not really.”

“Well, I’ve been talking a bit with her and your Dad, and they’ve asked me to help with some aggression issues, and some grief. Do you know why they’d ask me that?”

I frowned. “I do.”

“And why’s that?”

I groaned and slouched down on the chair. “Because my brother died and I’m going to die.”

“And that’s hard to cope with?”

“Obviously.”

She nodded and wrote some things down. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“I don’t really want to be here at all.” I stated blandly.

She sighed. “Alright, I’ll choose. Let’s talk about your brother.”

“Do we have to?” I murmured.

“Yes, we do Nicole. So, tell me a bit about him to start us off.”

“Well he was a super cute kid and it sucked because he had cerebral palsy, and well, our biological parents sucked, so i had to take care of him. I really miss him….” I mumbled.

“He sounds like a good kid. When you moved in with the Urie’s, did you get to stop looking after his as much?”

I nodded. “I still helped out a lot though, because I was so used to it. It was hard to try and pull back.”

“And what main things are making you sad when you think about them?” She asked.

“He was so young and this stupid disease was supposed to kill me years before he died.”

She nodded in understanding. “I can see how that’s upsetting you. When do you find that you miss him the most?”

“Just sort of when I’m alone and it’s quiet. It just feels empty.”

“Did it feel different when he was around?”

I nodded. “It just felt lighter. Now it just feels like there is this constant hanging guilt.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I should’ve saved him.”

“Do you think that you could have?”

I nodded. “Easily.”

“How so?”

“ I just, well, forgot about him. I couldn’t taken him out! It would’ve been so easy!” 

“But didn’t you try? I thought you ran back in.”

“I was pushed away.” 

“Well, doesn’t that prove that you couldn’t have gone back? It wasn’t safe.”

“I DON’T CARE IF IT WASN’T SAFE! HE’S DEAD BECAUSE OF ME!” I sobbed.

Rebecca kept her composure. “But Nicole, you didn’t start the fire. You did everything you could. It wasn’t safe for you to go and get him, after all, if you had run through the fire, you would have both been trapped. And then we would have lost you too. And that would have been much, much worse.”

“I-It’s too hard without him.” 

“I know it’s hard, but what’s important now is staying strong. Is this what he would have wanted for you?”

“ I-I don’t know.” 

“Don’t you think he would have wanted you to be happy?”

“M-Maybe?” 

She nodded. “Of course he would. He would want you to go and live your life, not just sit around and be sad all the time.”

“It’s hard though.” 

“I’m not saying that it’s going to be easy, but it’s important to remember those things. It’s completely fine to miss him Nicole, but at the moment you’re letting the grief consume you. And that’s where it becomes a bit of a problem.”

“I guess so…” I whispered, picking at my fingers.

She glanced up at the clock. “Alright, well, it looks like our session for today is over. Just remember the things we talked about, and I’ll see you on Thursday.” Rebecca smiled and opened the door.

I nodded and trudged out to Mom and Dad.

Mom smiled. “How’d it go Nic?”

“Okay I guess.” I mumbled.

“Ready to go?”

I nodded, wanting to just go home.

She thanked Rebecca, before leading me and Dad out to the car. The ride home was mostly silent.

“I hate therapy.” I muttered.

“So do I.” Dad agreed.

Mom sighed. “I know you guys do, but it’s good for you.” 

“Maybe.” I muttered in frustration.

She pulled into the driveway in silence.

I immediately broke away from them and went and sat in my room, not really wanted to talk to either of them about what had happened today. I just wanted to be by myself.

It wasn’t long before there was a knock at the door. “Can I come in Nicole?” 

“It’s your house.” I muttered.

Dad came in and sat beside me. “What’s up?” 

“The sky. The ceiling. I dunno, the moon?”

He smiled slightly. “How about this, why are you miserable?”

“Because of today.” I grumbled.

“That’s okay.” He wrapped me in a hug. “I’m sorry you’ve had a bad day Nikki.” 

“T-Thanks Dad.” I smiled slightly.

The puppies raced into the room and leapt up onto the bed.

Opal snuggled into my lap and I smiled slightly. “I guess this is nice.”

“This is the best part of wagging school. The dogs have so much energy around this time.” 

I chuckled. “Yeah, maybe. I still wish I was at school though.”

“I know.” He sighed. “I want you to be able to do whatever you want but I can’t.” 

Just as he said that, my hand started twitching again.

“Want some medication?” 

“I already took it.” I muttered in frustration.

And then, to make matters worse, Opal started barking at it.

“Opal, shush!” Dad scolded.

I sighed and buried my hand in my pocket. “Doesn’t matter.”

“It’ll be alright.” He tried to assure.

“Sure.” I muttered.

He sighed. “You could at least pretend to believe me ya know.” 

“I know. Sorry, I guess.”

“It’s fine.” He assured.

I nodded silently and patted Opal, as she’d stopped barking.

Once she had settled down, she fell asleep in my lap.

“Are you hungry?” 

“Not really.” I replied. “I just want to sit in here for a while.”

He nodded. “Sure thing Nik. I’ll just be out here if you want.” 

“Thanks Dad.” I forced a smile.

He went out of the room and shut the door behind him. Opal stayed snuggled up beside me.

I sighed and stroked her fur. It was a nice cuddle, but it didn’t compare to the cuddles from Jax.

“Do you miss Jax, Opal?” I asked, knowing I wouldn’t get an answer. “He loved you so much.” 

She didn’t really move at all. I sighed and slumped back into the pillows.

“I miss him.” I murmured.

There was another knock at the door and Mom poked her head in. “Come have some lunch Nic.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I know, but you still need to eat.”

I sighed and walked out to the dining room.

Dad smiled and patted the seat next to him.

I sat down and ate a little bit so they wouldn't pester me about it.

“Feeling better?” Dad asked.

I shrugged. “I guess so.”

“That’s good.” He smiled.

I was about to go back to my room but Mom pulled me back. “Let’s play a card game!”

“If we must.” I sighed. 

She smiled and dealt the pack to everyone. “Just play go fish?”

I honestly didn’t even care, so I just shrugged.

We finished the game before Sarah went out pale. “We need to get to the hospital. Now!” 

“Wait, what's wrong?” 

“My water just broke you idiot! The baby is coming!”

“B-But it’s only been 5 months!” Brendon shouted in panic.

“I know, we need to see what’s going on.” She said, trying to stay calm.

“I’ll call an ambulance!” I ran for the phone and tried to dial the numbers in, but my fingers kept twitching and missing the right buttons.

“I-I’m scared Bren.” Sarah whispered.

“I know, I know. Hurry up Nicole!”

“I-I’m trying!” I exclaimed.

We were all freaking out as we waited.

“W-What if t-there’s something r-really w-wrong?” Sarah whispered.

“We won’t know until we get to the hospital. Try to calm down.” 

“I-I’m so scared!”

“I know, I know.” Brendon tried to soothe.

The ambulance arrived and we were driven to the hospital. Sarah started crying, and hugged Brendon the entire way.

“I hate h-hospitals.” She whimpered. “Nothing g-good ever happens.”

“I know Sarah. Let’s just keep hope.”

There were lots of tests and ultrasounds and Sarah was clinging onto Brendon the entire time.

After a while, she started having contractions, and they moved her into the delivery room. I found her phone and called Gerard, trying to explain what had happened.

“W-What’s the time?”

“About 2:30.” Brendon said.

“Someone’s gotta get Kaitlyn.” She murmured, before she got another contraction.

“Can you get Kaitlyn from school?” I asked Gerard, who was still on the phone. “We’re a little preoccupied.”

“Yeah, sure, anything.” He answered.

“Thanks.” I nodded. “I’ll call you back soon, okay?”

“Yeah, okay. Bye Nicole.”

“See you soon Gee.”

A doctor then came in, a nurse following. “All we can do is go through normal procedure and hope for the best.”

“Can I get the epidur-AH! Ah, ah, ah…” Sarah cried, holding her stomach as another contraction started.

“Yeah, we’ll get it sorted for you. Hold on.”

“Hurry!” She called.

“It’s going to be okay, you’re okay.” Brendon assured.

“I-It hurts!” She cried.

“I know, it’ll be okay. They’re getting the epidural.” He promised. “Nic, come help me here.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Same thing I’m doing.”

“Alright.” I stood beside Sarah and tried to comfort her.

The doctor returned with the epidural and hooked her up, which seemed to help a lot with the pain. When the contractions were getting really close together, they started the delivery.

“MAKE IT STOP!” She begged.

“Sarah, on the count of three, I need you to push.” The doctor instructed.

“I CAN’T!”

“Yes you can. We’ve got you.” Brendon assured.

“And a 1, and a 2, and a 3.”

Sarah screamed in agony.

There was break for her to calm down slightly. “God, Nicole, don’t ever get pregnant.”

“I won’t.” I promised.

“Alright, 1, 2, and 3.”

Sarah screamed again.

“You’re doing good, a few more to go.”

“God, I hope this is worth it.” She grumbled as she grabbed Brendon’s hand for support.

“1, 2, and 3.”

Sarah screamed, and cried. “T-This is the worst!”

“We’re getting close. 1, 2 and 3.”

She gave one last push, before the doctor pulled the baby out and handed it to the nurse, who ran out of the room.

“I’m never doing that again!” She sniffled.

“You did a great job.” Brendon pressed a kiss to her cheek.

“Thanks.” She breathed.

The doctor returned 20 minutes later with a solemn expression. “Mr and Mrs Urie… I have some news.”

“What’s wrong?” Brendon asked.

“I’m afraid your baby was stillborn.”

Sarah was silent and just squeezed Brendon’s hand.

“Would you like to hold him?”

She sniffled and nodded.

The nurse brought the baby out and laid it on Sarah’s chest. He was tiny, absolutely tiny, probably because he was only 5 months. The nurse had dressed him in a tiny little onesie and put a tiny little hat on his head. He wasn’t breathing.

Sarah started crying.

Brendon was trying to hold back tears, but his attempts were failing.

“I-I still love you, Pickles.” Sarah whimpered.

Brendon put his hand on the baby’s head. “H-He’s so beautiful Sarah. S-So, so beautiful.”

She nodded and held him tight.

I started crying, and then Brendon started crying too. It was quite the scene when Gerard, Lindsey, Bandit and Kaitlyn walked through the door.

They didn’t even ask, they just came over and tried to comfort us.

“He has your forehead Bren.” Gerard forced a teary smile.

“Y-Yeah.” He smiled slightly.

Kaitlyn hugged me silently, not having the courage to say a word.

“We’re sorry for your loss…” The nurse whispered.

“I-It’s okay.” Sarah whispered, still holding the baby tight.

They left us alone for a little while.

“Definitely a Pickles.”

Brendon smiled. “Yeah, definitely.”

“He’s so cute.” Kaitlyn finally whispered.

“Do you want to hold him?” Sarah asked.

“Oh, y-yeah?”

Sarah gently lifted the baby and placed it in Kaitlyn’s arms.

“I love him.” She sniffled.

I leaned over and stroked his little hat. “Me too.”

“What are we going to do now?”

“I d-don’t know.” Sarah whispered.

We all returned to silence.

Brendon took the baby from Kaitlyn and held it tight. “What’s his name?”

Sarah shrugged. “Doesn’t have one, yet, at least. We never agreed on anything.”

“He needs a name. We need to come up with one.”

“Are we still starting with P?”

“I think so.” Brendon nodded. “He’ll always be Pickles, but he needs a proper name too.”

“Parker?”

“I like that.” 

The nurse returned after a while, silent.

“H-Hi.” Sarah whispered.

“Hey, how’s everything going?”

“As well as it can, I guess.”

“Is there anything I can help you with?”

“C-Can I have some water?”

“Of course.” The nurse said, before leaving the room.

“B-Brendon this h-hurts so much.” Sarah whispered as she took the baby back.

“I know, I know.” He whispered.

“I d-don’t know if I c-can do this…”

“You can, I promise.”

Sarah closed her eyes to fight against the tears.

“It’s going to be okay.”

“B-But Parker is d-dead Brendon!” She cried.

“I know…” He stammered.

Sarah just let the tears fall as she held his tiny body close.

The nurse came back with a glass of water. “The, uh, the doctor was wondering if you would like us to print out his birth certificate…”

Brendon nodded. “Of course.”

“I’ll be right back, actually, I should probably ask for his name.”

“Parker.” Brendon said. “Uh… Parker…” He looked at Gerard. “Parker Gerard Urie.”

“That’s a nice name.” She smiled slightly, before leaving.

“Did you really just name your baby after me Brendon?” Gerard asked, in disbelief.

“I, uh, I think so?” He murmured. “God, I should’ve asked someone, anyone! I’m so stupid!”

“It’s okay, you can probably change it if you run after her.”

“But what to?!”

“Uh… I don’t know… Damien?” Sarah suggested.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

I raced out the room to find the nurse.

“Oh, hello Mr Urie.” She turned to me.

“I need to change the name.” I panted.

“Of course. What do you want to change it to?”

“Parker Damien Urie.” I said. I tried to not think of the name. This was respectful, right?

“Oh, wonderful. I’ll get it printed now.”

“Thanks.” I smiled slightly.

I walked back to the hospital room and sat down next to Sarah. “Fixed it.”

“G-Good.” She sniffled.

“Parker, Damien, Urie.” I took a deep breath in.

“I think it’s a great name.” She smiled slightly.

“I-It’s respectful… right?” I whispered.

She nodded. “It’s a very high honour.”

“O-Oh, okay.”

“He’d love it, I’m sure.”

“Y-Yeah, o-okay.”

“I love you Bren.” She whispered.

“I love you too Sarah.”

She laid back, with Parker still in her arms. “I don’t ever want to let him go.”

I pressed a kiss to her forehead without saying a word.

“Do you want to hold him?”

“Y-Yes please.”

She handed me Parker gently.

I cradled him in my arms and rocked him back and forth gently. “He’s so beautiful.”

She nodded. “He’s just, perfect.”

“Except for the fact that he’s not… um… breathing.”

“Yeah…”

The doctor returned. “We can only give you a couple more minutes sorry. Do you want to take some pictures?”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.”

He nodded. “I’ll be back in 10.”

Gerard took our photos. A couple of just Parker, some of just me with him, some of just Sarah with him, some of the both of us. Some of him with the girls, and a couple of big family pictures too.

“I’m going to miss him.” I whispered.

“We all are.” Kaitlyn whispered back.

I held him tight until the doctor returned.

“I have to take him now.”

I nodded hesitantly. I pressed a kiss to his forehead one last time.

“P-Please d-don’t take my b-baby!” Sarah cried.

“Mrs Urie, I know this is hard.”

I nervously handed Parker over. “T-Take care of h-him, okay?”

“We will, don’t worry.”

I nodded hesitantly and the doctor took Parker out of the room.

Sarah burst into tears again.

I hugged her tightly. “It’s going to be okay Sarah. It’s going to be okay.”

“B-But he didn’t even get to live Brendon!”

“I know.” I whispered.

“I told you, nothing good happens at hospitals!”

“M-Mom, p-please calm d-down.” Kaitlyn whispered.

“I can’t!” She cried.

I hugged her tight.

“I can’t do this Brendon!”

“Yes you can Sarah. We all can.”

“Can we go home yet?” She asked.

“Not yet. You need a rest.”

“I want to rest at home.”

“The doctors want to keep an eye on you though. I know it’s hard Sarah, but this is what we have to do.”

“I’m fine though.” She murmured.

“No, you’re not.” I sighed.

“Why not Brendon?”

“Because you just gave birth?”

“Yeah…?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m fine Brendon.”

“We’ll let the doctors decide that.”

“They’ll say I am.”

“Let’s just wait and see.”

She snuggled into the bed and stared out the window.

“Do you want me to take the girls home?” Gerard offered.

I nodded. “Please. That’d be great.”

Kaitlyn and Nicole both hugged Sarah, before the Way’s took them home.

“What did we do to deserve this Brendon?”

“I don’t know Sarah. I think god hates us.”

“Every day something bad happens.” 

“Sarah… every day good things happen too.”

“Like what? Like what Brendon!?” 

I took a deep breath. “For being alive. For being able to wake up every morning next to the people I love most in the world. Being able to spend time with those amazing people. To know that those people love me, too, and they care about me as much as I care about them. The puppies too, they’re so sweet and lovely. The delicious food we eat, the sunshine, and the rain. There are so many amazing, beautiful things in the world. You just have to notice them.”

“Sounded like you were leading a prayer for half of that Brendon.” 

I shrugged. “Maybe I was. I don’t know. But I know that everything’s going to be okay Sarah. Everything’s going to be okay.”


	25. Chapter 24 - Well Shucks This One Doesn't Have a Name Either

“A-And t-then t-they b-brought h-him back b-but he w-wasn’t b-breathing!”

Dr Jo wrote something down. “So, he was stillborn?”

“I-I guess.” I whimpered.

“Oh dear. Okay… so, what happened when you were allowed to hold him?”

“W-We took pictures and w-well I held him tight and I didn’t want to lose him b-but they took him away!” I sobbed.

“Did you give him a name?”

I nodded. “P-Parker. Parker Damien Urie.” 

“You went with Damien for the middle name.” She stated, sounding interested.

I nodded. “I panicked and made it G-Gerard first but I-I wanted to suggest it and S-Sarah suggested Damien.” 

“Did you like the choice?”

I nodded. “I th-think it was a g-good choice.” 

“Why’s that?”

“ I-It was sort of like, it felt like I w-was closing that ch-chapter, and starting a new one. L-Like I was putting it b-behind me.” 

“That’s wonderful to hear Brendon.” She smiled.

“I miss him…” 

“Parker?”

“Yeah.”

“Well that’s understandable.”

“I feel like I’ve lost so many people.” I murmured.

“To be honest Brendon, you have. But I am incredibly proud of the way you’ve bounced back. And I have no doubt you’ll do it again.”

“Yeah. maybe…” I tried to hold back the tears.

Dr Jo pushed the box of tissues on the table towards me. “So where is Sarah now?”

“Still at the hospital.” 

“Ho w is she coping?”

“Not well, as expected.” 

“And how is that affecting you?”

“I feel terrible. I want to help her but I can’t because I’m just useless!” 

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I’m sad and everyone’s already sick of my crying to them! Gerard’s been so busy and I feel like he’s avoiding me and Patrick won’t answer any calls.” 

“If Gerard’s busy, then it’s not his fault that he can’t spend time with you Brendon. And Patrick possibly has his own reasons too. You’re grieving, Brendon, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You just need to take some time to grieve, and Sarah does too. That’s why it doesn’t feel like you're efforts are working. You need time to heal a broken heart, just like you need time to mend a broken arm.”

“Yeah, whatever.” I sighed, getting up from the seat.

“Brendon, time isn’t over yet. Sit back down.”

“Don’t care.” I mumbled, leaving the room.

Dr Jo followed me out. “Brendon, come back inside.”

“You said I needed to grieve, so I will. Over all the four significant people I’ve killed. Bye.” 

She grabbed my arm. “Brendon, come back inside now. We need to talk.”

“No we don’t.” I muttered.

“Yes, we do. Come on,  _ now _ .”

“ABOUT WHAT?!” 

“About the fact that you believe you’ve killed 4 people, when in fact you’ve killed none.”

A lot of people were staring now.

“I’m a murderer. Let me turn myself in.” I murmured pulling myself away and walking out the building.

Dr Jo continued chasing me. “Brendon, you aren’t a murderer. We’ve been through this.”

“Then let a police officer tell me so.” I stated. “Come, if you must.” 

She sighed and followed me downtown to the police station.

I walked up to the reception desk. “I’m here to turn myself in.” 

She sighed. “Brendon, you seriously have to stop coming here.”

“No, stop seriously. It’s not the usual. It’s murder and I guess arson now too.” 

The officer sighed again. “Do I need to get security?”

“I’m a danger! Why won’t you lock me up?!” 

“Because you haven’t done anything  _ wrong.  _ You’ve tried to turn yourself in for murder… uh… twenty three times now. You’re innocent, okay?”

“Fine.” I sighed. “Is the actual ‘criminal’ of the crash here?” 

“No, she’s in the women’s prison. This is a police station, we only have holding cells.”

“Dammit.” I muttered. “Can I at least sit in a holding cell for awhile?” 

“Security!”

“Please!” I pleaded.

I was given a security escort out of the police station.

“Please, just do something to me! I need to be punished!” 

Dr Jo sighed. “Brendon, if you won’t let me sit down with you to talk this out, then I might have to send you back to the institution. Will that be punishment enough?

“Just send me away.” I gave up.

Dr Jo sighed and called an ambulance.

I slumped against the wall and started crying.

“Brendon, you did ask for it.”

“I know.” I sobbed.

“You probably won’t be in there as long as last time though. You should only be in there for a short amount of time.”

“H-How long is that? I don’t want to be there at all!” 

“Less than two weeks, I’d say. Just some time to rest and get yourself together.”

“What do I say to Sarah?” 

“I’ll visit her and explain.”

I nodded tearfully and stayed in my curled up mess.

“The institution that you went to last time is full, so they’re sending you to a different one, okay?”

“Better or w-worse?” 

“It depends which way you’re looking at it.”

“Will I-I hate it?” 

“I honestly don’t know.”

“So y-yes.” I whimpered.

The ambulance pulled up and the paramedics let me just sit down inside of getting the stretcher. I was silent the entire drive.

“What’d you do now Urie?” 

“N-Nothing new.” I mumbled.

“Well, welcome to the institution. Let’s get you inside.”

I just followed them throughout the corridors.

I noticed this place was  _ very  _ different from the last. The walls were all painted rainbow colours, with paintings of smiling flowers and all that. I felt like I was in a kindergarten, rather than a mental institution.

“Hi Brendon!” The woman at reception smiled. “Welcome!” She spoke slowly, and it almost felt like she was taunting me.

“Yeah, hi. This is  _ really _ weird…” 

“Come on through, let’s get you changed and I’ll show you around.”

“Joy.” I muttered.

She led me through to another colourful room and handed me a colourful set of clothes. “Here you go. All nice and clean.”

“Yeah, thanks?” 

She smiled again and pointed to a bathroom.

I got changed and tried to not stare for too long. The colours were awful, even worse than the greys of the last.

The woman beamed when I came out. “Don’t you look handsome? Anyway, let’s go and say hi to everyone, and I’ll show you around.”

“Sounds like fun?” I said unsurely.

“Okay, so, this is the living room just here. Not many people like to hang out here, but it’s good for if you want some quiet time.” She gestured to another really colourful room with really colourful furniture.

“It’s uh, it’s nice.” 

“And this is the activity room here. We have arts and crafts on Monday and Wednesday, Music on Tuesday and Thursday and on Friday we have performances.”

“Cool.” I mumbled unenthusiastically.

“And this is the TV room, where most patients spend their time. Hi everyone!”

A crowd of about 15 adults looked up at me. “Hi Nurse Jackie.”

“This is weird.” I muttered under my breath.

“And down here is the dining hall, where we have our meals.” She pointed to another colourful room. “And there’s the nurses stations where you’ll take your medication. And down the hall here, are the rooms.”

“Great.” 

“So this one here is yours. Your roommate’s name is Davie, or Elise, or Marlo. It really just depends.”

“Okay? And there’s no single rooms?” 

“Not unless you’re in solitary honey.” She shrugged. “Anyway, why don’t you come on out and say hi to everyone?”

“Because I don’t want to.” I said, flopping onto my bed.

“Okay honey, take your time. Room checks are every 10 minutes.”

“Why?”

“We just like to keep track of you.” She grinned widely. “See you soon Brendon. Come out when you’re ready.”

“Bye.” 

I sat in the painful silence of the room for 10 minutes until another woman poked her head in. “Checks.”

“Okay.” I murmured.

“You really should come out and introduce yourself. The others all really want to meet you.”

“I don’t really want to meet them.” 

“You’re going to have to at some point, so let’s go get it over with. Come on, this isn’t optional.”

“I DON’T CARE!” I shouted, throwing a pillow at her.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me out to see everyone else.

“That’s kinda rude.” 

“Everyone, this is Brendon. Brendon, meet everyone.”

“Hey nutcases.” I stated, before heading back to the room.

“THAT’S NOT VERY NICE!” One of the younger girls shouted.

“DON’T CARE!” 

“Do you want to go to solitary Brendon?” Nurse Jackie asked.

“Sure!” I grinned.

I was then led to another very colourful room with colourful pillows and a beanbag to sit on.

“What is this?” 

“Solitary.”

“THIS ISN’T A MENTAL FACILITY! IT’S A KINDERGARTEN! NO ONE IS GOING TO GET BETTER!” 

She frowned and closed the door on me.

“THANKS!” I called.

And then the music started playing. Not actual good music, music that they play to kindergarteners or crazy people.

I just tuned it out and started singing to myself.

About half an hour later, a man came and sat down on the other beanbag. “Hello Brendon. My name is Dr Farnsworth. I’m your psychiatrist.”

“I’m James and I’m a wanted criminal.” I mumbled.

“Why are you lying?”

“Because I’m a kindergartener who doesn’t know better.” 

“Alright, I know this place is a little over the top. But I want to help you get better, and for me to do that, I need you to be honest.”

“Can you tell me why this place is like this?” 

“I don’t even know. It was like this when I showed up, and it probably will still be like this when I leave.”

I threw one of the pillows to the wall. “Sorry.” I sighed. “I can’t help it.” 

“It’s okay. Let’s talk. Why were you admitted?”

“Because I tried to get myself into prison because of this stupid thing called PTSD.”

“Okay. Why were you trying to get yourself into prison?”

“Because I murdered 4 people and committed arson.” 

“Alright. Let’s slow down. Who were the four people?”

“Damien, Lydia, Jaxon and Parker.” 

“And how did you kill them exactly?”

“Damien and Lydia in a crash 10 years ago, Jaxon in a house fire and frankly, I’m not sure about Parker yet.” 

“If you’re not sure about Parker, how did you know that you killed him?”

“Well I helped conceive him.” 

“Conceiving a child doesn’t kill them Brendon.”

“Well it did this time.” 

“What do you mean?”

“I conceived him, then I crashed the car with Sarah in it during the pregnancy then the house fire, that couldn’t have been good for him!” 

“Yes, but that doesn’t cause them to be stillborn. Brendon, it wasn’t your fault. Not at all.”

“Then what causes a stillborn?” 

“It’s a mix of genetics, and luck. These things just happen Brendon.”

“And I contributed to the genetics!” 

“You couldn’t control that though Brendon. You could simply say that it was your parents, after all, it was  _ their  _ genetics that made you, which helped make Parker.”

“Should we try again?” I asked.

“If you want to.”

“The thing is, I don’t know if Sarah will want to.” 

“It’s a decision you’ll have to make.” He shrugged. “But we’re not here to talk about that. Now, Jaxon, apparently you killed him?”

“I tried to cook dinner and lit the house on fire.” 

“And then what happened?”

“I tried to get everyone out and I forgot about him.” I sniffled.

“Everyone? So you weren’t the only one? Well, then couldn’t you say that it was everyone’s fault? They forgot too.”

“No! Because my wife was pregnant and my daughters were scared and I was the reason the fire started anyway!” 

“Brendon, did you mean to set the house on fire?”

“OF COURSE NOT YOU IDIOT!” I took a deep breath in. “Sorry.” 

“Alright. Do you know the definition of murder?”

“Yes, I remind myself all the time.” 

“What is it then?”

“ The unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another.” I recited.

“Alright. Premeditated. What does that mean?”

“Planned.” 

“Yes. So did you plan to kill Jaxon?”

“Why would I plan to kill my son?”

“Exactly. So if you didn’t plan to kill him, then that doesn’t fit the definition of murder.” 

“I guess you’re right.” I mumbled.

He smiled. “Good to know.”

I flopped back on the beanbag. “What do you want to talk about?” 

“Well, you seem to be doing much better, so I guess it’s time to let you out of solitary.”

“I hate people though.” I grumbled.

“They’re not that bad, I promise.”

“I don’t like it here. I prefer the other facility.” 

“Sorry about that, but there’s nothing I can do.”

“I know.” I mumbled.

“Let’s go out and say hi.”

I dragged my feet along the floor as we headed to the TV room.

“Alright, everyone, this is Brendon. He’s a bit nervous, so make him feel welcome.”

“Hi Brendon.” They all greeted.

I just sighed and sat on the floor near the back of the room.

One of the guys came and sat next to me. “Hi, I’m Andrew.”

“Brendon.” I said simply.

“How are you finding the place?” He asked.

“It's awful.” I muttered.

“Yeah, it is at first. You get used to it after a while.”

“I don't intend to be here for long. I'm not supposed to be here anyway.” I mumbled..

“My best advice is just to relax and just do what they want. It’s fun being treated like a kid.” He shrugged. 

“I've been treated like a kid for too long. I hate it.”

“It’s a bit fun though sometimes. You can get away with pretty much everything.”

“I just want to speak to my wife, and my daughters, and my friends if they stopped ignoring me.”

“There’s a shared phone. We get 10 minutes a day.” He shrugged. “If you want to get more time, be nice to the nurses and take all your medication without a fight. Then sometimes they give you 20 minutes.”

_ “Sometimes. _ ”

“Every couple of days or so.”

I sighed. “Great.”

“So why are you here?”

“Because the police station wouldn’t take me in when I tried to turn myself in so I begged for punishment and got this. I guess it’s punishment.” I mumbled.

“No, like disorders or whatever.”

“Oh, I have PTSD and ADHD and depression, I think. Something along those lines.”

He smiled. “Cool. I have BPD.”

“Oh, okay. Interesting, I suppose.”

He shrugged. “Yeah. So there’s a couple of people that you’ll want to know. Bethany is a pathological liar, just be warned. Davie, or Elise, or Marlo, has multiple personality disorder. Most of the time he’s Davie, but sometimes he’s Elise, who is a six year old girl, or Marlo, who’s uh… stay away from Marlo.”

“Why? I mean, he’s my roommate, so it’d be good to know.”

“He’s a sex addict. He’ll try and make a move on everyone. Girls and guys.”

I shuddered. “Great, so I’m never going to sleep.”

“Marlo doesn’t come out much though, so don’t worry too much about it. I’ve only seen him once, and I’ve been in here six months.”

“Okay…”

“Anyway, let’s go talk to everyone else before they try to make us do art.”

I nodded. “Sounds good.”

We walked over to a table, and were immediately invited into the card game. I met a couple of people. Georgie, who was clinically depressed, Michel, who was bipolar and Bethany the pathological liar.

“Hi everyone! It’s time for you all to head over to the activity room.”

I groaned, but everyone else got up and practically ran there.

I trudged behind and the nurses gave me disapproving looks.

“Alright everyone, settle down, settle down.” A woman standing at the front instructed. Most of the other adults stopped talking and turned to face her. “Today we’re going to be doing some painting.”

There was some cheering, followed by silence.

Brushes and water cups were passed around. Andrew looked as excited as everyone else.

I just sat and stared at everyone, slightly amused at their excitement.

“Okay, so, today’s task is to paint a lion! Best art of the day gets 10 extra phone minutes and a large bar of chocolate, 2nd place gets 5 extra phone minutes and a small bar of chocolate, and 2 runners up will each receive 5 extra phone minutes. You can start when you have your canvas.”

So this is why everyone was excited. I started wishing I had Kaitlyn here to help.

“They go for creativity, not skill.” Andrew whispered. “Go crazy and wild and colourful and fun. That’s how you win.”

“Thanks for the help.”

He smiled and went back to sketching an outline.

I just sketched something stupid that barely looked like a lion before giving up and starting to paint.

Andrew’s was coming along nicely, and it actually looked pretty decent. My paint was a bit thick and started to run in drips down the canvas.

I just threw the brush down and gave up. Paint was always stupid anyway.

I was not one of the people given extra phone time that night.

*******Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

I had no clue why this stupid miscarriage was bothering me so much. Now I was just moping on Gerard’s couch in silence.

Bandit had put on some movie, and I was pretending to pay attention, although I was just stuck thinking about what had happened at the hospital. A lot of things had gone down. My little brother was stillborn. 

“Daddy told me what happened…” Bandit mumbled.

“Y-Yeah?” I whispered.

She came over and wrapped me in a hug. “I don’t know what it all means but it sounded bad.”

I smiled slightly. “T-Thanks Bee.”

“It’s okay. Do you want to choose a movie?”

She nodded and put a new disk in the player. “This one always makes me happy when I’m sad.”

I smiled slightly. “Okay Bee. Sounds good.”

She grinned and sat up on the couch next to me. “Do you want me to make Daddy get us some popcorn?”

“Do  _ you _ want popcorn?”

“Uh huh.”

“Then you can go ask him.”

She ran off to the studio to find Gerard.

I went to go find Nicole. I hadn’t seen her much.

I found her in the spare room, lying on the bed and just staring at the fan as it whirred around.

“Hi Nicole…” I whispered.

“Hey.” She murmured, not moving her glance.

“This sucks.” I mumbled.

“Yes. Yes it really does.” She snapped.

“Sorry…”

She sighed and turned to face me. “Life sucks Kaitlyn. I’ve figured it out.”

“I know it does. I’ve known for years.” I whispered.

“It just chews you up, kicks you while you’re down and then pulls the plug whenever it feels like it.” Nicole sighed. “I don’t even know what the point is anymore.”

“Neither do I. Don’t say anything to anyone else though. Therapy becomes hell.”

“I know. They’ve started making me go.” She groaned. “It sucks.”

“Indeed.”

She just sighed and looked at the fan.

“I hope Mom’s okay…”

“Me too.”

“Hey, um, Bandit and I are going to watch a movie now. Do you want to come and join? There’s popcorn.”

“I’m not allowed popcorn. I might come out later anyway.”

“Oh, okay. Um… see you later than Nic.”

“Bye Kaitlyn.”

When I walked back out, Bandit was still pestering Gerard.

“Come on Daddy! Kaitlyn wants popcorn too!”

“I do?” I asked, confused. “Oh, right.”

Gerard turned to me. “If I make this, you have to promise that you’re actually going to eat it.”

“I’m not in the mood to eat.” I mumbled.

“You haven’t eaten since yesterday. And even then, it was tiny.”

“I know.” I sighed.

“Popcorn Daddy!” Bandit reminded.

“I’ll eat it.” I muttered.

He nodded. “Thanks Kaitlyn.”

“It’s fine.”

We sat down with the bowl of popcorn and started the movie. Gerard sat with us, and kept glancing over to make sure I was actually eating it.

Nicole came out after a little while and sat beside me, just blankly staring at the TV.

“P-Popcorn?” I offered.

She shook her head. “No thanks.”

“A-Are you sure?” I asked, really hoping she’d eat the rest and take the pressure off me.

“I’M NOT ALLOWED IT!” She snapped, running into the bedroom.

“O-Oh, r-right.” I whispered, bringing my knees up to my chin.

Gerard sighed and chased her.

I heard her sobbing in the bedroom.

“Kaitlyn, why is she crying?” Bandit asked.

“She’s just having some issues…”

“Like what?”

“Just, it’s hard to explain.”

“I’m smart! I’ll understand!”

“Nikki’s body is just working really hard keeping her safe.”

She looked at me, confused. “Huh?”

“Nikki is very sick Bandit. And it makes her do some pretty scary things. We just have to be nice and make sure she’s okay.”

“Oh...okay. Is she going to get better?”

“I don’t know…”

Bandit got up and ran into the spare room after Gerard.

“No, Bandit!”

When I finally reached the spare room, Nicole had stopped crying but still looked pretty sniffly, and Bandit was hugging her tight. Gerard was sitting on the seat in the corner, fiddling with his wedding ring.

“A-Are you okay?”

“N-Not really.” She mumbled.

“Do you want a hug?” I whispered.

“I’m, uh, already getting one from Bandit…”

“Sorry, I’m not very good at this.”

“N-Neither.” She shrugged.

I sat awkwardly on the bed and messed with my fingers.

Gerard’s phone started ringing and he answered it.

“Oh, hey Brendon.”

“Wait, where are you?”

“Seriously?”

“What did you do?”

“Okay, okay. I’ll watch the girls for a few days.”

“I’ll let them know, yeah.”

“Okay Brendon, take care of yourself.”

“Bye.”

We all looked at him as he hung up.

“He’s in an institution…”

“What?!” Nicole asked. “What happened?!”

“He had a breakdown and tried to turn himself in to the cops before asking his psychologist to admit him to the institution.”

“Turn himself in for what?”

“4 accounts of murder and an account of arson.”

“Jesus.” Nicole muttered.

“We just have to stay calm, and….we probably shouldn’t tell Sarah. She’d flip.”

“S-She sort of has to know though…”

“Not if he’s not there long.”

His phone started ringing again. “Well, here’s Sarah now.”

“Hello?” 

“Okay, calm down.” He sighed.

There was a lot of silence as he just listened.

“Sarah, I know this is upsetting…”

“Yes, yes, he just called me.”

“I don’t know why he called me first. I’m sorry.”

“Yes, I’ll look after the girls.”

“Okay, please calm down, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Sarah?! Sarah?!”

He sighed and put his phone down. “Your Mom is upset.”

“We noticed.” Nicole said blandly.

“I’m going to go and see her. Kaitlyn, you’re in charge.”

“W-Why me? Nicole’s the oldest!”

“Right now, you’re neither 7 nor coming off an emotional breakdown, so you’re in charge. Don’t worry, just watch a DVD or something.”

“I can’t do this!”

He sighed. “Nicole, you’re in charge.”

She nodded. “That’s fine.”

Gerard left and then it was just the three of us.

“Alright, let’s go to the lounge.”

We sat there awkwardly, looking at Nicole for instructions.

She put a DVD on before sitting down. “Don’t move.”

“Uh… can I go to the bathroom?” Bandit whispered.

“Fine.”

Bandit left quickly.

“This family is falling apart.”

“A little.” I whispered.

“More than a little. We’re screwed.”

“I wouldn’t say screwed…”

“Then what would you say?”

“Uh…”

“ _ Exactly. _ ”

I frowned. “We still have each other though.”

“We do, yeah.”

“Yeah.” I tried to smile.

“Now we just hope Mom and Dad can hold it together.”

“They should, right?”

“Hopefully.” She sighed.

Bandit came back and snuggled into me.

“Hey Bee.” I smiled.

“Hey.” She murmured.

We sat and watched the movie until Gerard came back.

“You’re back earlier than I expected.” Nicole murmured.

“Yeah. Lindsey’s staying with her. I needed to get back to you three.”

“Is she alright?”

“Yeah, just a bit upset about everything.”

Nicole nodded. “As expected.”

“So how was everything here?” He asked.

“Uninteresting.”

“Nikki was mean and Kaitlyn doesn’t make a good snuggle buddy. She’s too boney.” Bandit stated.

I took a deep breath in and just headed to the kitchen. I stared at the food, trying to convince myself to eat something with no luck.

_ You’ll get fat. _

“But I’m too thin.” I muttered.

_ Better than being fat. _

“Not this time.” 

I grabbed some fruit and locked myself in the bathroom as I forced myself to eat it all.

My stomach started to twist, but I was determined to keep this down.

_ God you’re stupid. _

“I’m not stupid. I’m unhealthy.” I murmured, trying to keep the bile from rising.

_ You’re going to get obese if you keep this up. _

“I can do it.” I tried to encourage as I took another bite.

My stomach rejected it, and everything came up. Gerard started knocking on the door. “Kaitlyn? What’s going on?”

“Give me a second.” I slurred, my stomach still in knots.

“Open the door Kaitlyn.” He demanded.

I crawled over and opened the door before crouching back over the toilet.

He walked in and sighed. “What happened?”

“I-I tried to e-eat and got sick.” I mumbled, embarrassed.

“Hey, it’s okay. You tried, that makes me really happy.” He tried to smile encouragingly. “Go sit out with Bee and I’ll clean this up.”

“I don’t want to be boney anymore.”

“I know. I don’t want you to be boney either. We’ll just take it slow.” He assured.

I nodded unsurely and headed back to the lounge room.

“Hey, what happened?” Nicole asked.

“Nothing…” I mumbled, rubbing my handed together, feeling horribly embarrassed.

“We both know that’s not true.”

“I-It’s stupid.”

“Aren’t most things? Come on, you can trust me.”

“W-When Bandit said I-I was boney I g-got really self conscious a-and I sort of tried to b-binge on fruit a-and ended up throwing u-up…”

“Huh. That sucks, I guess. But hey, you tried. That’s something.”

“Why is everyone saying that?! I failed!”

“Kaitlyn, you tried. And considering that everyone has been trying to get you to try like that for months, it’s a big step. It means you want to get better. And if you want to get better, than you will. Sure, you threw up this time. And maybe you will the next few times. But then you’ll stop. And then, you’ll get better. And stop being so tiny.”

“I-I hate this body. I-It’s awful. I r-ruined it!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s not ruined Kaitlyn.” She assured.

“It’s awful and boney and ugly!”

“But it’s not going to be like that much longer as long as we keep trying.” 

“It's really hard Nikki.”

“I know. But it’s not impossible.”

I nodded unsurely.

Bandit came into the room with the board game that we got her for christmas. “Do you guys wanna play?”

Nicole nodded and sat down with her. I just stayed slumped into the couch.

Bandit set it up and the two of them started playing. I think Nicole was enjoying herself quite a lot, and Bandit seemed to be too.

Gerard came out and joined us after a little while and watched over us.

“Not playing?” He asked me.

“Oh, no, I’m just sitting back.”

“How’s it going Bee?” He asked.

Bandit frowned. “Nikki’s winning.”

Nicole was grinning. “This game is really fun.”

“It is.” Gerard agreed.

“There’s still a chance you can win Bee.” Nicole said. “Look, right here.”

“Oh! Oh okay!” She grinned.

Nicole ended up helping Bandit win by suggesting a few strategies.

Bandit grinned and wouldn’t let Nicole forget about losing for the rest of the afternoon.

“Anyone hungry?” He asked.

Nicole and Bandit nodded, I stayed silent.

“What do you girls want?”

“Grilled cheese!” Bandit grinned.

“Is that okay with you Nicole?”

“I don’t think I’m allowed that. I don’t know. Maybe call my Mom.”

“How about I just make some sandwiches?”

“I’m probably not allowed that either.” Nicole sighed. “Do you just have some fruit or something that I can eat?”

“Yeah, if you want.”

“Thanks.” She murmured, grabbing an apple.

Gerard made Bandit’s lunch and gave me a sandwich to eat.

“I-I, um….” I stammered as he handed me the plate.

“Just eat a little bit.”

“I d-don’t know Gee…”

“Just don’t throw it out. You can put it in the fridge if you want.”

I started to get very embarrassed and sat down to eat.

Everyone had finished before me and Nicole and Bandit had already raced off to play.

I forced myself to eat the whole thing, which in hindsight wasn’t a good idea. It ended up in the toilet.

“It’s alright Kaitlyn.” Gerard assured, starting to clean up after me.

“N-No, it’s n-not.” I whispered, running to the spare room.

It was completely silent until Nicole came in to talk.

“So… I heard what happened.”

“Of course you did.”

“How are you holding up?”

“Not great.” I admitted.

“Fair enough.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Gee’s going to take me and Bandit to the park for a bit of fresh air, do you want to come?”

I shook my head. “I just want to relax.”

“Okay. That’s cool. We’ll be back soon.”

I nodded. “Have fun.”

Nicole left, and Gerard came in a few minutes later.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

“I’ll be fine here.”

“I don’t want to leave you here by yourself.”

“I’ll be okay. I’ll call you if there’s any issues.”

“Kaitlyn, you need to come. You don’t have to play, but the fresh air will be good for you.”

I sighed. “Fine.”

I sat in the back seat as we drove to the park. Nicole and Bandit ran off to play, while I sat on the park bench under a shady tree.

“It’s nice out here.” I whispered.

“It is.” Gerard smiled.

“Thanks for taking me out.” I smiled slightly.

“Thanks for agreeing to come.”

I sat in silence and enjoyed the cool breeze that came through.

“Hey, why don’t you go over and play soccer with those kids?” Gerard suggested, pointing to a small soccer game. Nicole and Bandit were playing.

“I, uh, because…?”

“Go on, it looks fun.”

I shook my head. “I-I’ll stay here.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “I-I just, I don’t l-like running around.”

“Fair enough.” He shrugged.

I nodded and returned to silence.

We watched the game for a while. Nicole and Bandit’s team was winning, and they seemed to be having a good time. Until Nicole’s leg twitched and she fell over, and the other team took the ball.

She ended up walking over to us and sitting down.

“Are you okay Nic?” Gerard asked.

She nodded. “I’m fine.” She sighed.

“A-Are you sure?” I whispered.

“Yeah, it’s just hard to run with the twitching.”

“O-oh, right.”

Gerard sighed. “You didn’t take your medication this morning. And neither did Kaitlyn. Dammit, come on Bee! We’re going for a drive!”

“But Dad!” She whined.

“We can come back later if we have time! We need to go to Kaitlyn and Nicole’s house for a little bit.”

“Fine.” She moped.

Nicole and I were silent as we got to the car.

Once we got to the house, Gerard told us to get whatever we wanted to take to his house while he got the medication sorted.

I walked to my room and grabbed a couple of art supplies, as well as my blanket and a couple of sets of clothes for the next couple of days. I grabbed my iPad and my phone, and the stuffed bear I bought with Sarah that one time.

“All good?” Gerard asked, his hands full with a bunch of boxes of medication.

I nodded. “Yep.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

I noticed that Nicole didn’t bring much at all. But I didn’t dare speak to her about it.

The entire ride back to Gerard’s house, Bandit was asking tonnes of questions about everything and wouldn’t be quiet.

“Shh.” Gerard hushed. “If you’re quiet, we’ll get ice cream later.”

“Really?”

“Yes, sure, just shut up.”

“Okay…” She whispered.

Then the car was silent. We pulled up at the Way house and Gerard then had the task of trying to figure out our medication.

“Do you want some help?” I asked.

“Uh… yes please.” He sighed.

I put my medication to the left and Nicole’s to the right. I got it sorted out pretty quickly.

Nicole frowned. “6. This is ridiculous. I don’t need 6 pills.”

“Medication in general is ridiculous.”

She grumbled something as she took them.

I quickly downed my pills, trying not to think about it too much.

“Okay, I’ll just have to remember that.” Gerard grabbed a notepad and took note of the medication.

“I want ice cream Daddy!” Bandit whined.

He sighed. “Do you two want anything?”

We shook our heads. “No thanks.”

“Alright. Come on Bee, let’s be quick.”

Bandit grinned as she followed her Dad around.

They left and then it was just Nicole and I.

“I miss Dad.” I mumbled.

“We should get to visit him sometime.” Nicole shrugged. “They have visiting days.”

“Yeah, but when are they?”

She shrugged. “Don’t know.”

“We;ll have to find out.”

“Yeah, maybe Mom knows. We should visit her.”

“We really should.”

“We should ask Gerard when he gets back.”

I nodded. “I hope she’s been alright.”

“Yeah, me too.” Nicole sighed.

“I honestly don’t think she will.”

There was a bit of silence.

“Yeah, me neither.”


	26. Chapter 25 - Meanies

******Brendon’s Point Of View******

“Come on Brendon, it’s time to wake up!” One of the nurses said, poking her head through the door.

I groaned. “But sleep!”

“But breakfast!” She countered.

I frowned. “What’s breakfast?”

“The usual. Eggs, bacon and toast.”

“Nope.” I groaned, pulling the blanket back over my head.

“Yep.” She said, pulling the covers off.

I groaned and walked to the showers. They were open plan, and a nurse was sitting in the corner, watching.

I tried to turn and face away in attempts to pretend someone wasn’t watching me.

When I dried off, I was handing another set of colourful scrubs and I walked out to the dining room.

I had the breakfast,which wasn’t necessarily enjoyable before we were all ushered to group therapy, or talk time, as they called it.

“So, welcome everyone!” A woman leading the circle smiled. “Take a seat, we’ve got enough beanbags for everyone.”

I sat down beside Andrew and waiting for it to start.

“Alright! Welcome to talk time! We have a new member of the group today, so we’re going to start of with an introduction of ourselves. So, say your name, where you’re from, and your favourite colour.”

The first person started. “I’m Amy, I’m from Ohio and my favourite colour is pink.”

“I’m Andrew, I’m from 2 streets away, and my favourite colour is red.”

“I’m Brendon, I’m from the other side of LA and my favourite colour is…” I paused. “Green.”

“Lovely Brendon.” The woman smiled. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.” I mumbled.

Everyone introduced themselves and we got started.

“So how do you feel today Amy?”

“Awful.” She stated.

“Why’s that?”

“Because I want to die.”

“Why do you want to die? We all want you here Amy, don’t we everyone?”

Everyone murmured along the lines of yes.

“Alright, Andrew, how do you feel today?”

“Pretty good.” He smiled.

“That’s great!” The woman grinned.

“Yep.” He agreed.

“How about you Brendon?”

“Pass.” I mumbled.

“No passes on the first session.”

“Fine. I feel awful.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I’m here.”

“Well that’s not very specific. What about this place is making you feel bad?”

“Being treated like a kindergartener. Being away from my family and friends.” I sighed.

“Okay, well we’re happy to have you here Brendon.”

“Course you are.” I muttered.

“What about you Olivia?”

The rest of the session dragged on until we were allowed to do what we wanted.

“Let’s play the scenario game!” One of them shouted.

I sat at the back of the room, avoiding joining in.

From what I could see, they were doing some sort of roleplaying of normal events, and then someone would go in and try to figure out the best way to address the situation. It looked normal, until some of the events got a bit dark.

“Does this happen often?” I asked Andrew who had came and sat beside me.

“Yeah, they do it in therapy too.” He shrugged. “It can be fun sometimes.”

“Mmm. Sometimes.”

“Yep.”

“This just seems like something they’d want to stop.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty weird.”

I nodded.

“Alright everyone, time for lunch.” The woman stated.

Everyone headed to the dining hall. I walked with Andrew and we got a seat beside each other.

“This looks actually good.” I stated as we were handed a toasted sandwich.

He nodded. “It does. Usually they taste pretty good too.”

“This is much better food than the place I got sent last time.”

“Well that’s good.”

After lunch, we were just told to hang out until we were called individually for therapy.

“Alright, Brendon, you’re first up.” A nurse said, collecting me from the TV room.

I groaned slightly and followed her through to the office.

I was greeted by Dr Farnsworth who instructed I sat down.

“How are you today Brendon?” He asked.

“The exact same as yesterday.” I grumbled.

“Okay. How did you enjoy your first talk time?”

I shrugged. “Just like any other group therapy.”

“And how are you feeling about your family?”

“I miss them so much.”

“Have your feelings about your son changed since our last session?”

“I still miss him, that hasn’t changed. I still miss both of them.”

“Do you still feel that it’s your fault?”

“No, not really.” I murmured.

He smiled. “That’s good news Brendon.”

“Not getting me out of here though.”

“Not yet, but it’s progress. Now, I’ve been talking with your psychologist, Dr Jo, and I’ve figured we really need to get to the bottom of your problems. So, Damien and Lydia.”

“They’re my dead friends, yes?”

“Let’s talk about them. Tell me a bit about them.”

“Well I met Damien when I was pretty young and he was my best friend. I wanted him to join the band too, but he wasn’t allowed, which was a shame because he was an amazing musician. Anyway, her died in a car crash 10 years ago where I was the driver. I met his wife through him, and she was really nice, a great mother too. She died in the same crash.”

“Alright. So you were very close?”

“Well, yeah. On the day of the crash, I was taking them, and their daughter, who is now my daughter, Kaitlyn, out for her birthday.”

“And what happened?”

“A black car came and hit the side of the car, the side Damien and Lydia were on and the impact killed them.”

“Okay. So, Dr Jo tells me that you felt that this was your fault.”

“I did, yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because I was driving and didn’t get them out of the way.”

“But you did everything you could.”

“I know, I’ve been trying to move on.”

“And how has that been working?”

“Pretty well before you brought it up.”

“Okay, and how are you feeling about how I brought it up?”

“Well I’m not glad you did but I’m not going to have a mental breakdown.”

“Okay. Let’s talk about your daughter. Kaitlyn, was it?”

“Well it’s either Kaitlyn or Nicole, but I’ve only mentioned Kaitlyn, so yeah, Kaitlyn.”

“Alright. So Kaitlyn, tell me about her.”

“She’s an amazing, smart, creative kid but she’s got so much going on mentally, it just interrupts everything.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s got schizophrenia, OSFED, anxiety, depression, PTSD, it’s just messy.”

“Oh wow. So how does this affect you?”

“It’s just hard to take care of her.”

“Hmm. You said she was your friend’s child. Do you find it hard sometimes having her around?”

“I did at the start. It’s not too bad now.”

“That’s good. What else do you want to talk about?”

“Going home.”

“Not yet Brendon. You only just got here.”

“And I’m ready to go home.”

“Thursday.” He said firmly. “You can go home on Thursday.”

“What day is it?”

“Sunday.”

I sighed. “Thursday, really?”

“Yes, Brendon. I’m sorry. You can have visitors on Tuesday.”

“Whatever. Bye.”

“Time isn’t over Brendon. Sit down. The door is locked.”

“I don’t care.” I muttered, punching the door. Sadly it didn’t fly open and wasn’t as dramatic as I intended.

Dr Farnsworth sighed. “Tell me about your other daughter. Nicole?”

“She’s a girl, at home, where I intend to go.”

He sighed. “Brendon, if you don’t co-operate, you won’t be going home until next Sunday, so you might want to put some effort in.”

“I’M NOT, ALRIGHT?! THERAPY IS STUPID! I’M GOING HOME!”

He remained calm. “No, you’re not. You can go home when you can prove to me that you’re stable enough to make it on the outside. Screaming at me is not helping your case.”

“I AM STABLE! I TOLD HER TO SEND ME HERE! I DON’T NEED TO BE HERE!”

“Your behavior says otherwise.”

“MY BEHAVIOUR IS FINE!”

“You’re screaming at me.”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE BEING IRRATIONAL!”

He wrote something down. “Okay, Sunday is your new release day. But for the time being, you’re off to solitary.”

I fell to my knees and burst into tears.

He sighed. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I-I’m just homesick.”

“That’s understandable. Do you want me to put in a request for extra phone time tonight?”

“P-Please…” I stammered.

He nodded and opened his laptop.

“I-Is it weird that I-I miss D-Dr Jo?”

“No, not at all. You have a relationship with her that you haven’t built with me. So naturally you’d prefer her over me as your mental health consultant. It’s not weird.”

“I guess s-so.”

“Time’s up. You can go back to the TV room. I don’t think you need to go to solitary.”

“I-I don’t really wanna leave. I guess I have to though. It’s the same story with Dr Jo.” I mumbled.

“If you need some quiet time, just sit in the living room. Nobody goes in there anyway.” He suggested.

I nodded. “I will.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow Brendon.”

“Bye.” I whispered, before leaving the office.

I walked past the TV room and sat down in the overly-colourful living room. I found a book and I started to read.

It was quite peaceful until I had realised I’d missed dinner and the nurses were sending everyone to bed.

“Brendon!” One of them called. “Where are you?”

I put the book down and went into the hall. “Hello?”

“Oh! There you are! Where have you been?”

“Just in the lounge room reading…?”

She sighed. “Fair enough. It’s time for bed now.”

I nodded unsurely. “Okay.”

“Unless you want your phone time.”

“That would be nice, not if it's an issue though.”

“Not at all. You were granted extra time, it would be a shame if you didn’t use it. Come on through, you’ve got 25 minutes.”

I went to the phone and decided to call Sarah.

“H-Hello?” I asked.

“Hey Bren.” She sniffled.

“Hey Sarah. How are you?”

“J-just sad.” She said. “Y-you?

“Not the best, I am stuck in the weirdest mental institution ever.”

“I-is it helping though?”

“I, I’m not sure. It’s very weird, but the therapist is good. He got me extra phone time.”

“That's good.” She sniffled slightly.

“What about you? You don’t sound very well.”

“I j-just feel l-like a failure.”

“Why?”

“B-because of Parker.”

“That’s not your fault Sarah.” I promised. “If it was anyone’s, it was mine.”

“I really miss him Bren.”

“Me too.”

“I should be able to go home in a couple of days?” She said 

I smiled. “That’s great news. I might be going home Thursday.”

“Awesome. I just hope the girls are holding up okay.”

“Yeah, they seemed pretty shaken.”

“I feel bad for not being there for them.”

“No, no, you’ve got other things to worry about. Gerard’s there, he’ll look after them. If anyone should be feeling bad, it’s me. I literally  _ asked  _ to be put here.”

“Yeah, but it might help.”

“Maybe…”

“Just stay hopeful Brendon.”

“Okay.” I whispered. “I can have visitors on Tuesday…”

“I'll see if I can make it.”

“C-Can you make sure the girls know? I r-really want to see them.”

“Of course Bren.”

“T-Thanks Sarah.”

She yawned. “I'm going to bed, okay Bren?”

“Okay. Sleep well Sarah.”

I had some time left on the phone so I decided to call Gerard.

“Hey Brendon.” He answered.

“Hey Gee. How are you?”

“I'm alright, how about you?”

“Eh, I’m okay. How are the girls?”

“Not too bad. Kaitlyn’s been trying to eat at least and Nicole's not going too bad either.”

“That sounds good. What have you guys all been up to?”

“Mainly watching movies. We went to the park earlier too.”

“That sounds good.” I nodded.

“Yeah, it's been a nice day.”

“Are the girls around? Can I speak to them?”

“Yeah, sure. Kaitlyn's just here.”

“D-Dad?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Hey little worm.” I smiled slightly.

“How are you?”

“Good, I suppose.”

“That’s good. How’s the place?”

“It’s not ideal….”

“Oh… that sucks then.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t matter.”

“Okay.”

“Anyway, how are you?”

“I-I’m okay, I guess…”

“Only okay?”

“Yeah.” She murmured.

“Why’s that?”

“Everything that’s happened….”

“It’ll be okay little worm. We always bounce back.”

“Maybe…”

“Always.”

“O-Okay.”

“I love you little worm.”

“I love you too Dad.”

“Is Nicole around?”

“Uh… yeah. Do you want me to put her on?”

“Yeah, stay safe little worm.”

“Okay Dad… Bye.”

“Hey Dad!”

“Hey Nic!” I smiled. “How are you?”

“I’m good! How are you?”

“I’m okay.” I shrugged. “What have you been up to?”

“I’ve been playing with Bandit.”

“Sounds good.” I nodded. “What else?”

“Mainly just lying around, relaxing.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, what have you been doing?”

“Not much. Reading, therapy, eating. There’s not really that much to do here. Oh, they made us paint yesterday. That was interesting.”

“How so?”

“I can’t paint, so it ended up looking really weird.”

She giggled. “Sounds about right.”

The nurse at the door tapped her watch. “Time’s up.”

“Alright, I’ve got to go. Sorry we didn’t get to talk long.”

“That’s okay Dad. See you soon.”

“Bye Nic.”

I hung the phone up and turned to the nurse.

“Sorry for taking so long.”

“It’s okay. Time for bed now Brendon.”

I nodded and started heading to my room. 

“Sleep well.”

“I will, thanks.”

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

“Thanks for taking me today.” I mumbled.

Gerard shrugged. “I didn’t want you missing the appointment.”

We were waiting for the second of my monthly doctor’s appointments. I was scared out of my damn mind.

“W-What if they say something bad?”

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be okay.” Gerard shrugged.

“I-I hope so…” I whispered.

The doctor poked her head out. “Nicole, come on in.”

I walked in with Gerard behind and sat down nervously.

“So, let’s start. How have you been feeling?”

“O-Okay, I guess?”

“That’s good. Any more seizures?”

I shook my head. “Nope, not really.

“That’s good to hear. Can you step on the scales for me?”

I nodded and stepped onto the scales and tried to make sure I wouldn’t focus on whatever the number was.

“Well, there’s our first problem.”

“W-What’s wrong?”

“You’ve dropped 30 pounds in a month.”

“Oh….”

“Mmkay. I’m going to put you on the VHC diet.”

“W-What’s that?”

“Very high calorie diet. Basically sugar, and a lot of it.”

“Oh, o-okay…”

“Did your Mom take the healthy eating thing too seriously?” She asked as she tapped some stuff into her computer.

“I-I just wasn’t allowed anything unhealthy. I-I don’t know if it was t-too serious. I-It might have been...”

“She probably shouldn’t have done that. Oh well, too late now.”

“Yeah…” I mumbled.

She handed Gerard a bunch of papers and pamphlets on everything to give to Sarah.

“W-What else do you n-need to know?”

“Well, I’m just here to talk about your concerns. Is there anything that’s been bothering you?”

“Not really. I’ve been alright. I’ve been snapping a lot though.”

“Is that annoying you?”

“Well yeah, because it’s hard to control.”

“And how’s the twitching going?”

“Still happens, not as often though.”

“You’re lying Nic.” Gerard stated.

I sighed. “It’s getting worse.” I mumbled.

“How bad is it?”

“Every hour or so it’ll start again.”

“Is it bothering you?”

“Yeah, because nothing can stop it.”

“Mmkay. If you’re looking for something to help, maybe try some physiotherapy. That’ll help.”

“O-Okay. I’ll talk to M-Mom and D-Dad about it.” 

She smiled. “Okay, sounds good.”

“A-Anything else?” I asked.

“Not unless you have any more concerns.”

I shook my head. “N-Not really.” 

“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll see you then Nicole. Keep up the exercise and I’ll see you then.”

I nodded. “Okay. B-Bye.”

“That went well.” Gerard smiled as we walked out to the car.

“Yeah, I g-guess.”

“Why are you so nervous? She seems nice.”

“It’s just a hard thing to talk about.” I stammered.

“Oh. Fair enough.”

We got back to the house and Bandit immediately tried to drag me to play.

“Can’t we just watch a movie?” I mumbled.

“But that’s boring!”

“And I’m boring.”

“No you’re not! You’re fun Nikki!”

I groaned. “Not right now Bee.”

“Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Okay..” She mumbled, going to play by herself.

“How’d it go?” Kaitlyn asked.

“It wasn’t too bad. Mainly the same. Apparently I’ve lost a bunch of weight so I’ve got to try and build it back up.”

“I guess we’re both trying to do the same thing then.”

“I guess so.”

She took my hand. “We can do this together.”

“Yeah, okay.” I smiled slightly.

Lindsey walked into the room. “I’m going to see your Mom, do you two want to come?”

“Yeah, okay.” Kaitlyn answered.

Gerard gave me the pamphlets that he got from the doctor to pass along, which sort of scared me but I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want to start another fight with Sarah.

Sarah was pretty happy to see us, which was a relief. I handed her the pamphlets and sat down beside her.

“How’d you go?” She asked.

“N-Not too bad?”

“What did she say?”

“I-It wasn’t too bad, just that I-I’d lost a lot of w-weight a-and then try physiotherapy to help with the twitching a-and keep exercising and stuff.”

“How much weight did you lose?”

“Th-thirty p-pounds?”

“Really?!”

“Y-Yeah?” I stammered.

“Oh wow… that’s a lot…”

“Yeah….”

“And so, they moved you to this diet thing?”

“I b-believe so.”

“Okay. I can do that.”

I nodded unsurely and fell silent.

“H-How are you Mom?” Kaitlyn asked.

“I’m alright, I’ve been a bit bored, but that’s okay.”

She nodded. “When can you come home?”

“Soon, hopefully.”

“That’s good.”

She nodded. “Your father should be home within the next week or so.”

“It’ll be good to all be together again.”

She nodded. “I think we’ll have to plan something fun to do.”

I smiled. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Any suggestions?”

“Roller skating?”

“If you want.”

I grinned. “Awesome.”

She smiled. “We’ll have to talk to Brendon though.”

“Of course.” I nodded.

“Anyway, how have you girls been? Done anything interesting?”

“We went to the park?” Kaitlyn suggested.

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah. Nic and Bandit played soccer too.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“It was.” I smiled. “Until I tripped and lost the game for our team, but anyway. It was fun.”

“I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

“H-How are you going with Parker?” Kaitlyn asked nervously.

She sighed. “I’m getting better. I still miss him, of course.”

“I-Is there going to be a funeral?”

She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

“A-Are we going to bury him at least?”

She nodded. “If we can.”

“G-Good.”

The room fell silent.

“So, are you two going back to school soon?” She asked.

“Maybe, I don’t know.” Kaitlyn shrugged.

“You probably have to.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“And you Nic?”

“I sort of have to.”

“Yeah. Okay. Maybe when your Dad and I get out, maybe that’s when you should head back.”

“Okay.” I sighed.

The rest of the visit was more small talk until we finally headed back to the Way house. Kaitlyn sat down at the kitchen table to draw, and Bandit kept begging me to play.

“Bandit please, not today. I just want to relax.”

“But I’m bored!”

“I know you are, but I’m not in the mood to play.”

She pouted. “Meanie.”

“I’M SORRY, OKAY?!” 

Bandit squealed and hid behind Kaitlyn.

I stormed into the bedroom in frustration.

Lindsey knocked on my door. “Nic? Can I come in?”

“Yeah, okay.” I sighed.

She walked in and sat down next to me. “Everything okay?”

“I guess so.”

“What happened?”

“I just got frustrated and snapped. Bandit wouldn’t stop asking to play. It’s not really her fault though…”

“It’s not really yours either.”

“It is. I should just control it.”

“But it’s out of your control. It’s fine Nic.”

“Maybe.” I mumbled.

“We’re going to go down and do some grocery shopping, do you want to come?”

“Sure.”

Kaitlyn, Lindsey and I went to the grocery store to grab some food. Considering the dramatic shift in my diet, Lindsey was buying a lot of junk food.

“This is going to be hard to get used to.”

She shrugged. “Do you want some candy? Go on, pick something. You too Kaitlyn.”

We both chose a candy bar and placed it in the trolley.

“This is weird.” Kaitlyn mumbled.

I nodded. “Very.”

When we got back to the house, Gerard was cooking dinner and Kaitlyn sat back down to work on her drawing. I decided to make it up to Bandit and we played a board game.

“I won!” Bandit grinned.

“Yes, you did.” I smiled.

“Thanks for playing Nikki.”

I smiled. “No problems Bee. I had a lot of fun.”

She wrapped me in a hug. “I love you Nikki.”

I smiled. “I love you too Bee.”

“Is it okay if I call you my big sister?”

“Sure.” I shrugged.

She smiled. “Good.” She curled up to my side and continued hug me.

“Dinner!” Gerard called.

We sat down and enjoyed dinner without too many issues.

“So, tomorrow, you two both have therapy and then Bee has her gymnastics class, and then I thought we could go see a movie.” Gerard shrugged.

“Sounds good.” I affirmed.

Kaitlyn held a hand to her mouth and sprinted to the bathroom.

Gerard went to get up, but I raced to the bathroom to talk to her.

The door was locked, so I sighed and knocked. “Kaitlyn?”

“W-What?” She whispered.

“Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“I-It’s all gone.” She stammered.

“That’s okay Kaitlyn. Can you let me in?”

“N-No…”

“Please, I just want to help.”

The door clicked open and she was curled up in a heap on the floor.

I caught a sight of the toilet and felt sick to my stomach. “K-Kaitlyn, is that blood?”

“I-I….” She whispered.

“Gerard!” I called.

“Y-You shouldn’t have c-called him.”

Gerard entered the room. “What’s going on?”

“N-Nothing?” Kaitlyn stammered.

“Well, she’s vomiting blood.” I stated.

“N-No I’m not?” She said unconvincingly, reaching to flush the toilet.

Gerard swatted her hand away and sighed. “Alright, I’m going to google, Nicole, make sure she relaxes until I determine what to do.”

Kaitlyn frowned. “I-I’m fine…”

“That isn’t fine Kaitlyn.” He said firmly.

“Y-Yeah it is?”

He sighed and walked out of the room.

“Why’d you call him?”

“Because I’m worried about you.”

“You shouldn’t be.”

Kaitlyn sighed and went to sit in the bedroom.

I followed her there and she just ignored me.

“Did it hurt?” I asked.

“A little bit.” She murmured.

I winced. “This could be really serious.”

“I know.” She whispered. “That’s why I didn’t want to tell anyone.”

“How long has this been happening?!”

She shrugged. “It’s been on and off for about a month.”

“Jesus!”

“I-It’s not that long?”

I sighed. “You can be very frustrating.”

“I’m sorry….”

“It’s fine.”

Gerard came back in with his phone. “We’re going to see a doctor.”

“W-What?” Kaitlyn whispered nervously.

“We need to find out what’s wrong.”

“B-But it’s nothing?”

“Then we’ll just make sure.”

She sighed.

We all got into the car and Kaitlyn was huffing the entire way to the hospital.

“You don’t have to be upset.” I sighed.

“We're going to the hospital for no reason.”

“We have a very serious reason.” Gerard said firmly.

“It’s nothing new.” She mumbled.

“All the more reason to be here.”

We walked into the hospital and Kaitlyn was still arguing with Gerard as we waiting for a doctor.

“I-I’m fine! I don’t need to be here!”

“Just be quiet Kaitlyn.”

“Kaitlyn Urie?” A nurse called, leading us into an office.

Gerard led her in and I stood awkwardly at the side, just listening.

“Well I haven’t dealt with anything quite like this….” The doctor murmured,

“Do you know what it is?” Gerard asked.

He shook his head. “Not really.”

“Does that mean I’m fine?” Kaitlyn asked. “Can we go home now?”

“No Kaitlyn, it doesn’t. We need to conduct tests.”

She groaned.

“Let’s start with the easy ones first.”

There were a bunch of tests, and I was getting bored very quickly.

“I should probably call your Mom and let her know we’re here.” Gerard mumbled. He threw me the phone. “You can do it.”

I started calling her and she picked up almost immediately. 

“Hello?” She answered.

“Hey Mom… We’re kind of in the hospital.”

“What?! Why?!”

“Uh… Kaitlyn’s vomiting blood.”

“WHAT?!”

“Apparently it’s been on and off for a month but she thought it was nothing?”

“Is she okay?”

“We’re yet to find that out.”

“Alright, tell me when you find out.”

“Okay. Talk to you soon Mom.”

“Bye.”

I hung up and handed Gerard back his phone. “She wants you to call when we figure out what’s wrong.”

He nodded. “I thought that’d be the case.”

Kaitlyn was still annoyed. “This sucks.”

“I know.” I murmured.

“If you’d told someone, we wouldn’t be here right now.” Gerard stated.

“I still would be. I’d just be here sooner.”

Gerard gave up and just sighed.

“There’s really no way to explain it.” The doctor mumbled.

“Well, there’s obviously nothing wrong then.” Kaitlyn shrugged.

“Is there any chance you’ve been to Africa?”

“Uh… nope.”

“Well, then I highly doubt you have ebola. Um… have you been drinking alcohol?”

“No…?”

“Alright, then you probably don’t have liver problems. Uh… would you object to a biopsy?”

“I, uh…..” She murmured. “I-I guess not?”

“Okay. Let’s get you admitted and ready.”

She nodded unsurely.

Half an hour later, Kaitlyn was lying in a hospital bed with a scowl etched on her face.

“This sucks, you guys.”

“I know, but we’ll find out what’s wrong.”

She huffed and folded her arms.

“It’ll be alright.’

“Maybe.”

The anesthesiologist came in and strapped a mask to Kaitlyn’s face. She stayed silent as she drifted out of consciousness. 

A few minutes later, we were sent out of the room, and about an hour later, the doctor came and told us that they’d found an ulcer in her stomach, and that was what was causing the bleeding.

“Will she be alright?” I asked.

“Oh, yes, of course. We’ll just put her on some medication and she’ll be fine.”

I nodded. “Okay…”

“I’ll call your Mom.” Gerard murmured.

“Okay.” I whispered.

I was allowed to go see Kaitlyn, so I walked in and sat down beside her.

She was still unconscious and the room was silent.

“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell anyone.” I mumbled.

“At least it’s getting sorted out.” Gerard said.

“Yeah.” I nodded.

It was at least an hour before she woke up. She glanced around the room before flopping back onto the bed. 

“How are you feeling?” Gerard asked.

“Awful.” She mumbled.

“We discovered the problem.” He explained. “Stomach ulcer.”

She shuddered. “That sounds gross.”

“Should go away with a course of medication.”

“Fun.” She mumbled.

“At least we got it before it was too late.” Gerard said firmly.

“I guess so.”

They let Kaitlyn get dressed to go, and handed Gerard a prescription before we headed out to the car to go home.

Gerard got the prescription filled and we arrived at his house. Bandit immediately wrapped us in s hug and Kaitlyn winced.

“It’s bedtime Bee.” Gerard said, pulling her off.

“I'm not tired though Dad!”

“Too bad.”

“You're a meanie.”

“Yes, I am, and it’s time for bed. That’s you too girls.”

We nodded and headed to bed. 


	27. Chapter 26 - The Wonderful World of Fanfiction

******Brendon’s Point Of View******

“Hello Brendon, come sit down.” Dr Farnsworth greeted.

“Hello.” I mumbled, sitting down.

“I see you’re excited as usual.”

“Totally.”

“If you just give me a second, then you’ll have my undivided attention.” He murmured.

“Okay.”

He printed out a few pieces of paper and stapled them together. He grabbed a folder and the papers before coming over to talk to me.

“Alright, so how are you?”

“Pretty average.”

“Why only average?”

“Because I’m still here.”

“Okay.” He murmured, writing something down.

I tried to lean over to see what he was writing, but he covered it.

“How do you spell your last name Brendon?”

“U-R-I-E.”

“Thanks.”

“What are you writing about me?”

“I’m not writing anything about you, truthfully. Except your name.”

“Oh.”

He turned the paper around and handed me a pen. “You need to sign here.” He said, pointing to the bottom of the form.

“What is this?” I asked.

“Forms.” He stated.

“For?”

“If I told you it wouldn’t be as fun Brendon.”

“It better not be ECT.” I muttered as I signed the form.

“It’s nothing of the sorts.” He assured, taking the forms back. “Now come on, we’re going for a walk.”

I was confused, but followed him anyway.

He took me to my shared room. “Take anything that’s yours with you.”

“Hmm?”

“If you have any belongings in here, put them in this bag.” He said, pulling out a grocery bag.

I collected my things and put them in the grocery bag. “What are you doing with this?”

“Nothing.” He said, holding the bag out to me. “Now let’s go.”

I followed him unsurely, hoping he wasn’t going to murder me or anything.

We ended up at reception and he was giving the forms to the receptionist.

“What’s going on?” I asked again.

“Hush. Jackie’s on the phone.”

“But I want to know what’s going on!”

“You will soon if you shut up.”

I huffed in annoyance.

“I swear to god.” He sighed. “Brendon you are so close, don’t blow it now.”

I just remained silent.

The receptionist hung up the phone and gave Dr Farnsworth a silent nod. He walked over and took my arm, before pulling me outside.

“What are we doing now?” I asked.

“Waiting for your wife.”

“Huh?”

“The forms you signed were your release papers Brendon.”

“Really?”

He nodded.

“So I’m going home?”

“Yep.”

I grinned. “Awesome.”

We were waiting for quite awhile until Gerard and Sarah arrived.

I pulled her into a hug as soon as I saw her. “I-I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too Bren.”

I pressed a kiss to her lips. “I can’t wait to get home.”

“Uh… do you want to get changed first?” She asked, glancing over my colourful scrubs.

“I don’t really care.”

She shrugged. “Okay, let’s go home.”

I hopped into the car and Gerard changed the station. I didn’t really know why until one of my songs came on, but it was one I hadn’t even released yet.

“Why is this on the radio?” I asked nervously. “I haven’t released this yet…”

“Apparently it was leaked. Robert called me because he couldn’t get in touch with you.”

“Who leaked it?!”

“I don’t know.”

“The only place it was, was on my home computer. So either we were robbed, I was hacked, or someone who has access to my computer has leaked it.”

“I was in hospital.” Sarah defended.

“I haven’t touched your computer Brendon.” Gerard stated.

“What about the girls? Did they do it?”

Gerard shrugged. “Unless your computer is at my house.”

We arrived at Gerard’s house, and I went on a scout for my computer. But not before hugging Kaitlyn and Nicole.

Kaitlyn started to follow me around. “What are you looking for?”

“My computer. You haven’t seen it, have you?”

She shook her head. “There was this man who came over yesterday asking where it was though.”

“Huh? What did you say?”

“There was this weird man, Gerard invited him in so they must know each other and he was asking where your computer was.”

“Gerard!” I called, walking to his studio.

“What’s up?” He asked. “D’you find your computer?”

“Who’s the weird man who came over and asked where it was?”

“Well Ryan came over. He never asked me about your computer though.”

“Kaitlyn!” I yelled.

She raced into the room. “Yes?”

“What happened when Ryan asked you where my computer was?”

“I told him I didn’t know and he w-walked past into the spare room?” 

“And did he find it?”

“I’m not sure. I just went to tell Gerard.”

“Gerard?” I asked.

“I honestly don’t know Brendon.”

I took his phone and dialed Ryan’s number, angrily tapping my finger on the desk.

“Hey Gerard!”

“Where the HELL is my computer Ross?!”

“Why would I know?”

“You were here, and you took my damn computer and leaked my song. I want it back, now, or else I’m reporting you for theft.”

“It’s with Robert. I was just tryna help you.”

“You leaked my damn song! It wasn’t even finished!”

“Sounded finished. Anyway, I was trying to help because of all the stuff on TV about you in the nuthouse.”

“Hell yeah. I’m bloody insane. And you know what they say about crazy people? DON’T STEAL THEIR DAMN STUFF!”

“Never heard that.” He murmured. “And besides, I didn’t steal it. As I said, it’s with Robert.”

“I’m going there now. If it’s not there, you’re dead meat Ross.”

“I think you know the real reason I did this Urie.”

“What?!”

“You replaced me with Sarah! I was helping you get better! Look where you ended up!”

“Don’t you dare talk about my wife.” I growled.

“Seriously, she’s bad for you Brendon! How many times have you been to the institution now?!”

“SHUT THE HELL UP!” I screamed into the phone.

The blood drained out of Kaitlyn’s face and she ran out of the room.

“It’s true though! I was helping you Brendon! You were doing so well!”

“Ross, I’m going to go back to my wife and daughters now. I’ll see you in hell.” I smashed the end call button and threw the phone to Gerard, before storming out to Sarah.

Kaitlyn looked at me and saw I was still mad before curling up in tears.

“It was Ryan.” I grumbled. “Ryan bloody stole my computer and leaked my song.”

Sarah frowned. “Are you going to take legal action?”

“Not this time.” I muttered. “It was finished anyway. If he does it again, then I’m going to sue his ass for every cent he’s got.”

Sarah nodded. “Alright, but you scared the living daylights out of Kaitlyn.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry little worm. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I-I feel bad for him.” She whispered.

“Why?”

“B-Because you’re really scary. H-He was in your band right? W-What’d he do to make you hate him? He s-seemed really nice.”

“I-It’s complicated…”

“I h-have no reason to hate him, b-but you’re really scary Dad.” She stammered.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try not to get angry again.”

She just walked away.

I sighed. “20 minutes on the outside and I’m already lashing out.”

“It’s alright Bren. You didn’t come out in ideal circumstances.”

“I guess so.” I mumbled.

I sat down and just watched TV for a couple hours before Kaitlyn came back.

“S-Sorry for l-leaving Dad.”

“It’s alright little worm.” I assured.

She sniffled and sat down next to me. “I-I’ve really missed you.”

“Same here.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She smiled and snuggled into me.

“I’m going to go for a drive to Robert’s to get my computer, wanna come?”

Her eyes lit up and she nodded.

We went out to the car and I drove to the office, where I came face to face with the man who leaked my song.

“Ross.” I muttered, grabbing Kaitlyn’s hand.

“Hey…”

“Laptop?”

“Still on his desk.”

“Come on Kaitlyn” I muttered, pulling her past him.

He looked at her for a moment, before realising. “Damien and Lydia’s kid! Oh wow! You’re so grown up! Last time I saw you, you were tiny!”

“I-I didn’t realise we’d met, well before yesterday. Was that even meeting though?”

“I didn’t realise! Oh wow, you were only 4 last time. Do you remember me?”

“K-Kinda...R-Ryan’s your name, right?”

He nodded. “It’s good to see you again. Gosh, doesn’t she look just like them Brendon?”

I nodded. “She does, yeah.” At this point, I was more nervous than angry.

“You didn’t tell me you took her in Bren.” Ryan looked up at me, looking slightly hurt.

“We haven’t talked in a long time…”

“Yeah, but I was as much Damien’s friend as you were. I thought I told you to tell me if you ever did.”

“I’m really sorry Ryan.” I murmured.

He held his hand out to Kaitlyn. “Well, it was lovely meeting you. I hope we can stay in touch.”

She nodded. “Hopefully.”

He opened his satchel, grabbed a notebook, scrawled his number on it and handed it to her. “Call, or text. Anytime.”

She smiled. “I will.”

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around mini Lydia.” He laughed to himself. “Little Urie. I don’t know, see you around. You too Brendon.”

Kaitlyn giggled. “See you around.”

He tipped his hat at me, before leaving.

“Okay, let’s go in.”

She followed me in, still smiling.

We got to Robert’s desk and he breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Do you have my computer?” I asked.

He nodded. “I wanna talk first though.”

“What about?”

“The song and Ross.”

I frowned. “I don’t want to talk about Ross.”

“I’m aware.”

I just frowned and waited for him to start.

“We’ll start with the song. We can’t just get rid of it, or take it back. It’s already all over the internet. We can tell the stations to stop playing though. What do you want to do?”

“I guess we just leave it.” I sighed.

“Alright, now...What are we going to do about him?”

“Restraining order.” I suggested.

Kaitlyn shook her head. “He’s nice!”

I sighed. “Well he hasn’t stopped causing issues.”

“He wants to be back in the band.” Robert sighed.

“No.” I answered.

“His contract, Brendon. I don’t have a choice.”

“Find something! He’s not coming back!”

“I’m afraid he is, for two years until his contract runs out.”

“TWO YEARS!?”

“I’m sorry Brendon. And that means he’s coming to Japan with you.”

Kaitlyn grinned. “Awesome!”

“Alright, can you get him to come here tomorrow so we can practise in the spare studio?”

“Sure.” Robert nodded, putting on a headset.

Kaitlyn sat beside me, swinging her legs around as she looked around the room.

“What are you doing little worm?” I asked.

“This place is cool.”

I nodded. “It is.”

“I almost wanna work here when I’m older.”

I smiled. “Well, I’ve got the connections.”

“I imagine you would.”

Robert got off the phone. “9am, here.”

I nodded. “Awesome. I’ll just have to make the most of this.”

“That’s wise.” He nodded. “Anyway, I’ll see you later.”

I nodded. “Computer?”

“Oh, right. Here.”

“Thanks.” I smiled.

“See you later Brendon.”

“Bye Robert.”

Kaitlyn smiled as we left the building. “So now Panic! Has two members!”

“Yep. And then everyone’s gonna come back.” I sighed.

“But that’s good, right?”

“I don’t know. It just means if I have an episode or something, more people will be disappointed.”

She frowned. “It also means you have more friends Dad.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

We drove back to the Way house and I went and hugged Sarah.

“Everything sorted?”

“Ryan’s back in the band.”

“Why? I thought you two weren’t on very good terms…”

“He wanted in, he had a contract, Robert couldn’t say no, and he’s back in the band!” I cried.

“Hey, it’s alright Bren. It’ll be alright.”

“T-Two years! A-And he’s c-coming to Japan!”

“It’s alright Brendon. It could be fun.”

I sniffled. “If he messes up Nicole’s holiday, I’m gonna kill him.”

“He’s too nice to do that.” Kaitlyn interjected.

“You don’t know him like I do.” I muttered, walking out of the room.

“What has he done Dad?!”

“Nothing you need to know about little worm. Don’t worry.” I told her firmly.

“TELL ME! IF YOU’RE GOING TO ACT LIKE THIS THAN TELL ME!”

“NO!” I yelled. “GO AWAY!”

“TELL ME!”

“NO! I DON’T NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY PAST DATING LIFE!”

She looked up at me. “You dated?”

“No…?” I whimpered.

She grinned and ran off.

“Why did I blurt that out?” I frowned.

Gerard walked up beside me. “I don’t know”

“I can’t do anything right lately.”

“I’m sure that’s not it. Anyway, do you want to come and play some music with me?”

I smiled. “Cool.”

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

I ran into Nicole’s room to tell her what I’d found out.

“You know Ryan, the guy who came here yesterday?”

“Yeah?”

“Dad dated him.”

Her ears perked up. “Seriously? I didn’t know he was bi.”

“I guess he is.”

She grinned. “I can’t wait to blog about this.”

“Isn’t there a huge thing where people ship him with his old bandmates?”

She grinned. “Oh yeah. Brallon and Ryden. There’s heaps of that. Wanna read some fanfic with me?”

“Yes!” I giggled.

She sat down next to me. “Have you heard of the milk fic?”

“No? Do I wanna know?”

“Nope. Don’t even look it up. Here… let’s find something cool.” She started googling on her ipad.

That’s how we ended up reading fanfiction about Dad for 8 hours.

Mom walked in on us giggling. “What are you two so happy about?”

“Nothing.” We said unconvincingly, trying to stifle more giggles.

“Uh oh… I know that giggle. You’re not reading fanfiction, right?”

“No.” We grinned.

She sat down next to me. “Which one are you reading at the moment?”

“It’s called ‘But.’ on wattpad, by some writer called DarkHighness. It’s pretty cool, but honestly pretty sad.” Nicole shrugged.

“How about I get my laptop so we have a bigger screen?”

I giggled. “Okay.”

She left for a little while before coming back with her laptop, as promised and some candy.

“Some fanfic reading supplies.” She smiled, throwing it between us.

“You seem to be an expert at this. Do you wanna confess anything?” Nicole asked.

She giggled. “I always enjoy the one shots. They keep me company when Bren’s away.”

“I see.” We grinned.

We proceeded to read many more fanfictions until Dad walked in.

“Hey Dad.” I tried to greet casually.

He looked at us. “What are you three doing?”

“Nothing.” We all answered at the same time.

“Dammit. You’re reading fanfiction, aren’t you?”

“No?” I said innocently. “We’d never.”

He sat down on the other side of Nicole. “Which one?”

“Which one are we on now?” I asked. 

Sarah shrugged. “We’re just reading one-shots.”

“Brendon Urie X Reader.” Brendon read. “Nice. Hang on, let me get my glasses. I want to experience what it’s like to be shipped with myself.”

We all giggled as he left the room. 

He came back and started reading aloud.

“ _ You get home from work. It’s been a rough day, but you’re glad to see your husband Brendon is cooking dinner. He leans over the stove, stirring the pot with the wooden spoon, the steam ever so slightly blowing his luscious black hair.” _

We burst into laughter.

_ “I’m home Bren!” You call, putting your bag down and walking into the kitchen. He smiles, and presses a light kiss to your lips. “It’s so good to see you babe.” _

“Aren’t you glad you joined us Dad?” I asked.

“Shh. Brendon Urie just kissed me.” He giggled, before reading on.

_ “Did work make you hungry?” He asked, pulling you to the kitchen. “I’ve been cooking all day.” _

_ “Oh, yeah. I didn’t have lunch.” You say, rubbing your hands into his back. “What else have you been doing?” _

“ _ Thinking ‘bout you.” _

_ You giggle. He’s flirting again. You know what he wants. _

“Alright, next one.” Sarah said. “We’re not reading the bad bits.”

“Aww, that’s the best part!”

“Dad, eww.” I stated.

“Bands get bored on tour, alright?”

“Still disgusting.”

Sarah found another fic. “Here, this looks cool. You read any Ryden?”

“That’s where we started.”

“I don’t want to read any of those.” Brendon said coldly. “Let’s do an adopted-by fic.”

“Alright.” Sarah said, opening up a different fanfiction.

“There’s like 50 thousand on this exact topic.” Nicole stated.

Brendon laughed. “You two are living the dream of 50 thousand teenage girls.”

I giggled. “I know.”

“This one looks good.” Sarah said, clicking on a new one.

“What’s it called?” I asked, pulling out my phone.

“Uh...A Fear of Falling Apart by Crazy_Fangirls17.”

I found the book and saved it to my library, along with everything that was suggested.

“Fanfic is great. We should write one.” Nicole grinned.

“It’s probably just end up being an autobiography.”

She giggled. “Nah, we’ll write a one shot. We should! Hang on, let me open a word document.”

We wrote a bunch of one-shots and Nicole decided it’d be a good idea to post them to the internet.

“What should our username be? Uh… Urie_Family.”

“So creative.” I giggled.

“Damn, that’s taken. Uh… Breadbin_Urinator’s_Daughter”

“What?” I started laughing uncontrollably.

“Damn! That’s taken too!”

“Try putting real in front of it.”

“Also taken.”

I frowned. “Let me try. Uh… Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real.”

“Hey, it’s not taken!”

I grinned. “Awesome.”

We put them online and a few people read it.

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: This is fabulous! It’s like you actually know him! The character is spot on! _

Nicole decided to reply.

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: We’re glad you enjoy it. We tried to make it as real as possible. _

A few minutes later, we got another reply.

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: And you succeeded! You might be my new favourite author! _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: That’s awesome! _

“We have a fan!” Sarah giggled.

Brendon sighed. “This is strange,”

“Hang on, we need to take a selfie for a profile pic.” Nicole said, opening the webcam.

“That’d reveal us though!” 

“So?” She giggled. “This is fandom land. They’d just think it’s photoshop. And you can’t really zoom in, so it would just be little.”

We took the photo and our ‘fan’ messaged us. 

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: You met Brendon AND Sarah?! _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Oh yeah, it was cool. They’re really nice. _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: I want to meet them so much! _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: It was weird how I met them. I mean, Sarah moved in next door and then she met me and my brother. It was cool. And not long after I met Brendon. _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: Your life sounds like a fanfiction in itself. _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Yeah, it seems so. I thought about writing something like it, but I figured it would be uninteresting. _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: Sounds pretty interesting to me. _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Eh. I might just stick to the one shots. _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: Fine by me. _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: So what’s your name? _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: Gretchen. _

I froze.

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: That’s cool. I’m Nicole. Where are you from? _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: California. You? _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Same here. Have you ever met Brendon and Sarah? _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: I did once. Never properly though. _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Just, saw them from afar or what? _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: Well I’m living in a group home, but one of the girls I used to live with were adopted by them so whenever they came for her I saw them. _

Nicole looked over at me. “Is this the kid that used to bully you?”

“I-I think so…”

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Kaitlyn, right? _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: How’d you know? _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Well, she’s sitting right next to me. _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: Oh... _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: She says hi. _

“I do not!” I objected.

“Too late now.”

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: Sounds like a lie. She hates me. _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Yeah, she did get mad when I sent it. Anyway, now she’s scowling and trying to snatch the computer. _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: I’ll leave you guys alone. _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Hey! No! I like you! You’re cool! _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: Online, yeah. In person, not so much. _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: I don’t think you’d like me in person either. I snap a lot. _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: So do I. _

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Sounds like we’re twins. _

_ Breadbin’s_Real_Daughter: Eh, something like that. _

“This is weird.” Brendon stated.

_ Breadbin_Urie_Ryden_Daughter_Real: Brendon says Hi. _

He sighed and left the room. I followed him, on the verge of tears.

“Hey! Guys! Wait! I was gonna burn her so hard!” Nicole tried to say, chasing after us.

I sat down on the couch and just started crying as I relived every horrible memory of her.

Nicole sighed and sat down next to me. “I’m sorry Kaitlyn.”

“I-It’s not your fault.” I whimpered.

“Yeah it was, I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s okay.” I mumbled. 

_ No it’s not! How dare she bring up your past like that. _

She hugged me before retreating to the bedroom.

“D-Dad?” I whispered.

“Yeah little worm?” He asked.

“C-Can you get my emergency medication?”

“Sure. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah.” I stammered.

He threw me the bottle of pills and a water bottle. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

I took two and tried to calm down.

I kept getting worked up. I felt pathetic. This was the first time in weeks since I had my emergency medication.

Sarah came and sat beside me. “Everything okay bub?”

“I-I guess.” I choked.

She hugged me. “Bren told me what’s going on.”

“I don't even know what's going on.”

“That’s okay.” She assured. “We can just sit here until it gets better.”

I nodded and rested my head in her lap.

She gently stroked my hair. “You’re okay bub.”

“I love you so much.” I murmured.

She smiled. “I love you too.”

“This is nice.” I whispered.

Sarah nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

I started getting droopy eyes and fell asleep where I was.


	28. Chapter 27 - Little Urie’s, and Little Ross’

“Well, I blocked Gretchen.” Nicole sighed.

“You d-didn't have to.

“Yeah I did.” She nodded. “You were upset and it was hurting you, and I don’t want to do anything that hurts you.”

“I-I should've just gotten over it.”

She shook her head. “Nope. Anyway, do you know why she was in the group home?”

I shook my head. “Not really.”

“Huh. She told me. Said not to tell you.”

I frowned. “Oh…”

“Yeah, it was weird. Anyway, I explained that we couldn’t talk anymore, and it’s over. No need to worry.”

“I-okay.”

“Good luck today Babe.” Sarah said, pressing a kiss to Brendon’s lips. “You’re going to do great.”

“I'm so nervous though.” He mumbled, jumping up and down slightly.

“Why don’t you take Kaitlyn?” Sarah suggested.

“Do you wanna come little worm?”

“Sure.” I nodded. “Should I bring my ukulele?”

“Yeah,sure.”

I nodded and ran off to get it.

I met up with dad before we headed off

We arrived early and Dad sat in the car for a while, tapping his fingers on the console.

Eventually we walked in and Ryan was already there, strumming a random tune.

“Hello Ryan!” I beamed.

He smiled. “Good to see you again little Urie. Is that a Uke? Do you play?”

“O-only a little bit.” I smiled.

He grinned. “That's awesome.”

Dad stepped in. “Let's stop wasting time.”

Ryan shrugged. “Let’s start off with something we both know. Nine in the afternoon?”

“Wouldn't it make more sense to practise the stuff you don't know so you don't look like a fool on stage?”

Ryan shrugged. “Maybe after, this can be a warm up.”

Dad sighed. “Okay.”

Ryan grinned and picked up his guitar, starting the intro. Dad sat down at the drum kit. “You wanna sing little worm?”

“I-I don't know. Do you want me to?”

“Why not? Go for it.”

I sung along quietly, afraid of messing up or forgetting the words.

“Wow! That was awesome little Urie!” Ryan smiled. “Wasn’t she amazing Brendon?”

Dad nodded. “It was amazing.”

I blushed.

“What should we play now?” Ryan asked.

“We’ll start with the newest stuff.”

“Okay. The one I leaked?”

“Sure.” He mumbled.

“Cool. Can I suggest a change?”

“How big is it?”

“I just want to replace the e chords with e minor chords. They sound so much better.”

“Alright, we’ll try it out.”

I sat back and watched them play. Ryan had a big grin on his face, while Dad was scowling the whole time.

“See? It's so much better!” Ryan smiled as they finished.

“Fine.” He muttered.

“Can we resolve this conflict?” He asked.

“What conflict?” Dad murmured as he focused on his computer screen.

“You hate me Brendon.”

“Yes, I do.”

“What can I do to fix that?”

“Nothing. I just hate you.”

“Please Brendon, I'm going to be here for two years. I don't want you hating me the entire time.”

“Well, you should’ve thought about that before you decided to join my band again.” Dad said coldly.

“I'm sorry.” He mumbled.

Brendon clicked on something. “Well, it’s all over the news so you can’t go back now.”

“How'd they find out anyway?”

“Robert made a stupid announcement.”

“Does he always do stuff like this?”

“Sometimes.” Dad muttered.

“What thing did I do that makes you hate me the most? Out of all the stupid things I've done.”

“Not in front of my kid.” He said firmly. “We’ll talk later.”

“Okay.” He nodded. “What song do you want to do next?”

“That one you wrote about little Urie. I found it on your computer.”

Dad sighed. “Is there anything you  _ didn't _ go through?”

“Well, I didn’t read your diary.”

“I thought that'd be the first thing you read.”

“I do respect you Brendon, I drew the line somewhere.”

“If you say so.”

“Are you guys going to do northern downpour?” I asked.

Dad took a deep breath in. “Do you want to Ryan?” 

He grinned and nodded. “Of course.”

“I figured you'd say that.”

Ryan grinned. “Yep. Anyway, are we going to play the one about little Urie? What did you call it?”

“It still doesn't have a name.”

“That’s okay. Let’s play it anyhow.”

They played through the song and it was really pretty and I was blushing the entire time.

Ryan grinned. “Your Dad loves you little Urie.”

“I-I love him too!” I smiled.

Ryan giggled. “Aww. Look at that. That’s adorable. Isn’t it adorable Brendon?”

Dad nodded and wrapped me in a hug. “She's my little worm.”

I giggled.

“You guys are adorable. Man, wait till you meet my family.”

“Are they nice?” I asked.

“Yep. I have a son, he’s three, and a daughter, who’s 12.”

I smiled. “That's cool.”

“Since when do you have kids, Ross?” Dad asked.

“Since a couple of months ago.”

“And who’s the mother?”

“None. I’m a single Dad.”

“And the kids are fine with that?”

“Yep. How’s your family going? Didn’t you say you had 2 daughters?”

“Yeah, it's been alright. We've had to go through a lot of hard stuff though.”

“What’s your other girl’s name?”

“Nicole.”

“How old is she?”

“15?” He asked me.

I nodded.

Ryan giggled. “Slightly bigger little Urie.”

“Yep.” I grinned.

“That’s cool. We should meet up sometime, after all, we’re going to Japan together.”

Brendon nodded. “Should we make a setlist for Japan?”

“Oooh! Yes we should!”

“Okay. What songs do we want to play?”

They went through all the albums and picked the biggest hits, before choosing some personal favourites and then choosing the order. It was quite cool to watch.

“Hey, little Urie, want to come up and sing some backups?” Ryan offered. “You could come on for Miss Jackson.”

“I-I, maybe?”

“Ross, stop pressuring my kid.” Dad warned.

“I was just asking.” He defended. “She's doesn't have to if she doesn't want to.”

“Kaitlyn, can you go wait outside for a minute?” Dad asked. “Actually, go down the corridor and get some lunch. Here.” He passed me some money.

“Oh, uh...thanks?” I stammered before following his directions.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“Alright, back the hell off of her.”

“I'm just trying to be nice!”

“I don’t care.” I grunted. “Don’t pressure her into anything. She’s as messed up as I am Ross, and there’s no way she’s performing.”

“Okay, okay. I just didn't want her to feel left out.”

“No more invitations. And if you ruin the Japan trip for Nicole, I’m going to kill you.”

“I'm going to try and stay out of your way for the trip.”

“Good. The only time I want to see you is on stage.”

He nodded. “As you wish.”

I grunted again to express my anger.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

“Because of what you did, Ross.”

“What specifically?”

“You know what.” I growled.

“I've done a lot of stupid stuff Brendon.”

“Since you kissed Pete Wentz.”

“I didn't mean it Brendon!”

“It doesn’t matter now!” I snapped. “I’m happily married with a family and I don’t need you trying to start anything.”

“Then stop hating me!”

“No!” I yelled. “You broke me! You tore my heart out and smashed it into a million pieces! I’m not going to forgive you! It’s bad enough that you’re here!”

“You said yourself that you're happily married! None of this matters anymore! AND YOU JUST IGNORE THE FACT THAT IT HURT ME TOO BRENDON! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”

“ROSS, YOU’RE THE DAMN REASON I ENDED UP IN THE INSTITUTION FOR THE FIRST TIME!” I shouted. 

“IT'S NOT MY FAULT. YOU'RE THE ONE CRASHED THE DAMN CAR AND SCREWED YOURSELF OVER IN THE FIRST PLACE!”

“AND I’M THE ONE WHO HAS TO LIVE WITH THAT!” I screamed in frustration. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT GUILT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT’S LIKE TO LIVE WITH THAT ALWAYS IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND?! NO!”

“STOP BLAMING ME FOR YOUR STUPIDITY!”

I shoved him in the stomach. “YOU BROKE ME! YOU CLAIMED TO BE ‘HELPING ME’ BUT ALL YOU WERE DOING WAS LYING TO MY FACE!”

“AND YOU THINK SARAH'S ANY BETTER?!”

“SHE’S MILLIONS OF TIMES BETTER THAN YOU ROSS!”

“SHES LIED TO YOU MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT!”

“AND YOU LIED MORE I BET! WHO ELSE DID YOU KISS ROSS?! YOU TASTED EVERYONE AT THAT GODDAMN PARTY!”

“WELL AT LEAST I WASN'T IN THEIR PANTS LIKE YOU!”

“I WASN’T EVEN THERE! I WAS AT HOME MAKING YOU DINNER!” I yelled in frustration.

Ryan’s phone started ringing and he answered it, turning away from me. “What’s up sweetie?”

“I'll be there as soon as I can.” 

“So now you’re just going to leave me.” I stated.

He grabbed his bag and scowled. “My children need me. At least I don't just send them away!”

“I was keeping her away from you’”

He walked outside the door where Kaitlyn was sitting. He gave her a hug. “See you later little Urie.”

“Where are you going?” She asked, sounding disappointed.

“I gotta get home to my kids. Text me later, okay?”

Kaitlyn nodded. “O-Okay.”

Ryan gave her a smile before leaving.

Kailyn came back into the room. “A-are you still angry?”

I sighed. “No little worm. I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s okay.” She whispered.

“D’ya wanna come in and jam for a bit?” I asked. “I mean, we’ve got the studio to ourselves.”

“Okay.” She frowned slightly.

I passed her the ukulele. “What songs do you know?”

“Barely any.” She mumbled.

“Well, which ones?”

“I don’t know any full songs. Just a few progressions.”

“That’s fine. Let’s play.”

“Are there any songs you can teach me?”

I smiled. “Sure. What do you want to learn?”

“I don’t know. Do you have any songs with ukulele in it?”

“Not in the recording, but there’s heaps of versions online. There’s this one ukulele song that some fans wrote about my forehead.”

She nodded unsurely. “I, uh, I’ll be back. Where’s the bathrooms?”

“Down the hall, on the right. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

She ran out of the room, leaving me alone in the studio.

She was gone for a long time, and hadn’t come back.

“Kaitlyn?” I asked, poking my head out the door. I walked down towards the bathroom, trying to find her.

I heard half a conversation and tears.

“Kaitlyn?” I asked again, looking around to try and see her.

“I-I have to go. D-Dad’s here. I don’t want him g-getting mad again.”

“Kaitlyn?!” I called again, pushing doors open to try and find her.

She pushed the door of one of the end stalls open. “I-In here.”

“What are you doing?!” I asked, walking over.

“I-I was about to throw u-up b-but I-.” She stopped.

“But what?”

“I-I can’t tell you or you’ll get mad.”

“Tell me. I won’t get mad little worm.”

“I-I called Ryan because I was t-talking to him l-last night about th-the eating disorder, a-and I was scared so I-I just called him.”

“And what did he say?”

“He j-just talked it through w-with me and s-stopped me from throwing up.”

I sighed. “Okay. Let’s head back.”

She walked back to the studio silently.

“Are you upset with me?” I asked.

“A l-little bit.”

“Why?”

“Y-You said that R-Ryan has to stay away from us i-in Japan, b-but he’s my friend.”

“I just said he has to stay away from me. I’m sure you two can hang or something.” I forced a smile.

“B-But you wouldn’t like that.”

“It’s not about what I want little worm. You can do it if you want.”

“Okay…”

“Do you still want to jam or do you just want to go home?”

“H-Home.”

“Alright. Let’s go get my stuff.”

She grabbed her ukulele and waited for me to be ready.

I packed all my gear up and carried it all out to the car.

She was still silent as we drove home.

“Why else are you upset at me?” I asked.

“I don’t like it when you yell, especially at friends.”

“He was yelling too…” I mumbled.

“I know. I heard all of it.”

I sighed. “Those rooms are meant to be soundproof.”

“They aren’t.” She mumbled. “Well that one isn’t. I couldn’t hear anything in any of the others.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry little worm. I won’t shout again.”

“You said that yesterday.” She murmured.

“I’m sorry.” I sighed. “What can I do to make it better?”

“Nothing.” She grumbled.

“What if I…” I winced. “Invited Ryan over for dinner?”

She smiled. “Really?”

“Sure.” I sighed. “Yeah, I’ll try to make things right.”

“Thanks Dad.”

“Will that make it better?”

“I think so.”

“Okay.” I mumbled. “I’ll call him when we get home. But you have to help me cook.”

“Wouldn’t Nicole be a better candidate?”

“I want to spend time with you though little worm. Nic can help too.”

“Okay.”

I stopped at the grocery store on the way home to grab some ingredients. “What do you want to make?”

“I don’t know…”

“We could make some pizza? Home made?”

“Okay, why not?” She answered.

We got some ingredientsingredients and headed home. I reluctantly dialed Ryan’s number.

“Hello. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. What’s up?” He answered.

“Do you want to come over for dinner?” I asked.

“Oh, sure? Should I bring the kids?”

“Yep, definitely.” I nodded.

“Mmkay. By the way, don’t worry about one of them, I’ll bring food for them.”

“Oh, uh, okay.”

“Okay. What time do you want us over?”

“5:30?”

“Okay. See you then Brendon.”

“Bye.” I hung up the call.

“Is he coming?” Kaitlyn asked.

I nodded. “And he’s bringing his kids too.”

“Oh cool! I’m going to clean up!”

“Okay.” I answered. I figured I probably should tell Sarah what was going on.”

Sarah was sitting with Nicole, giggling.

“Dammit, more fanfiction?”

They nodded. 

I sighed. “Anyway, Ryan and his kids are coming over for dinner.”

“Really?” Nicole asked. “What are we cooking? NEVERMIND I KNOW!” She raced out to the kitchen.

I chuckled and followed her out. “We  _ were _ going to make pizza.”

“Nope, we’re making this.” She shoved some cookbook in front of me with some insanely complicated dish. “And I don’t want any help.”

“Are you sure?”

“You can chop the vegetables.” She said, pushing a chopping board towards me.

“Why are we starting right now?”

“Because it needs to cook for three hours, and it’ll be ready in 6.”

“Alright.” I sighed.

I started chopping the vegetables as Nicole prepared everything else.

“You like cooking really difficult stuff, don’t you?”

“Uh huh. It’s fun.” She nodded, stirring the pot.

“That’s cool, I guess.”

“You need to dice that into 2cm cubes.” She said, pointing to the carrots. “And the rest into 1cm cubes.”

“Oh, okay…”

“Are you good with that or should I get Sarah?”

“No, I think I can manage.”

“Okay, good.” She said firmly. “How many are we cooking for?”

“7?” 

“Chop it all up.”

I nodded and proceeded to cut the vegetables. They weren’t perfect but I assumed they’d be fine.

“Dad! Cubes!” Nicole scolded, taking the knife from me. “Not, whatever this is!”

“That’s basically a cube!” I defended, holding one of the pieces up.

“That has… 14 sides. That’s not cubular.”

“It’s close enough! Four, fourteen, what’s the difference?”

“Cubes have six sides.” She muttered, chopping them again so they looked somewhat cubular.

“They do?” I retorted.

“Yes.” She said, handing me one of her carrot cubes.

“Mine  _ totally _ looked like this!”

She poked her tongue out and me and finished the chopping, before returning to her pot. “You can go if you want.”

“Alright.” I mumbled, going back to sit with Sarah.

“Wanna read more one-shots?” She offered, patting the seat next to me.

“Yeah, sure.” I mumbled. “Did you know a cube has 6 sides?”

“Yeah, it’s obvious.”

I sighed. “Great.”

“How’s Nicole going with dinner?”

“She’s fine.”

“That’s good. Means we can snuggle.”

I nodded unsurely.

She cuddled up next to me and smiled. “Why are you so glum?”

“I feel like an idiot.”

“Because you didn’t know a cube had six sides?”

“Well, yeah.”

“It’s okay Bren. Don’t dwell on it. Let’s watch a movie.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

We watched a movie for quite a while until the doorbell rang. 

“I’ll get it.” I said, jumping up.

Kaitlyn beat me to the door. “Ryan!”

“Hey little Urie.” He smiled.

“Come in.” I mumbled, holding the door open. He was holding a little boy in his arms, who had snuggled his head into Ryan’s neck. He had a little girl with him too, who I assumed to be his previously mentioned daughter.

Nicole came out from the kitchen to introduce herself.

Ryan smiled. “You must be slightly bigger little Urie.”

She giggled. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Well, this is little Ross, also known as Waverly, and this is little tiny Ross, also known as Morgan.”

Kaitlyn smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

Waverly grinned. “You too.”

“Im Kaitlyn, that’s Nicole, Brendon and I think Sarah’s reading fanfiction still.”

She giggled, and so did Ryan.

“I’ll go get her.” Kaitlyn said, racing into the bedroom.

Ryan smiled. “Nice place you have here Urie.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I murmured.

Kaitlyn dragged Sarah out of the bedroom, and she smiled. “Hey Ryan.”

“Hey Sarah. It’s been awhile..”

“Yeah, it has. Come on through, I’ll show you around.”

Ryan smiled and followed her around the house.

Nicole ran back to the kitchen and continued cooking. Waverly sat down and made conversation while she worked.

Kaitlyn was seemingly glued to Ryan’s side, so I was alone.

After the tour, we all sat down in the lounge. Ryan’s kid was still glued to his shoulder.

“Sorry about how I was before I left Brendon.” Ryan apologised.

“That’s okay. I guess I’m sorry too.” I mumbled.

“You don’t have to be. I said some awful things.”

“So did I.”

“So, uh…..how’s your recovery going? Robert sort of filled me in.”

“I…uh… it’s going okay.” I said awkwardly.

“That’s good.” He murmured.

Ryan’s phone started ringing and he pulled it out. “Speaking of Robert…”

He put Morgan down on the seat before going outside to answer the call.

“Hey buddy.” Sarah smiled, giving him a small wave.

He smiled and waved back.

“I’m Sarah, this is Brendon, and this is Kaitlyn.” She introduced.

He nodded and smiled at us, not saying a word.

“How old are you bud?” Sarah asked.

He held up 3 fingers.

“He is so cute.” Sarah whispered.

I nodded. “He is.”

Ryan came back. “He just wanted the kids names for the flights.”

“Ah, okay.” I nodded in understanding.

He sat back down and Morgan sat on his lap. “Hey bud. Were you good for Bren and Sarah?”

He nodded happily and snuggled back into Ryan.

“Um… does he… talk?” Sarah asked quietly.

“Only a little bit.” Ryan answered.

“Oh, okay.”

“What’s your favourite colour bud?” Ryan asked. 

“Blue!” He grinned.

I smiled. “That’s cool.”

He nodded.

“What’s yours?” He asked. 

“Red.”

He tugged on Ryan’s sleeve. “That’s your favourite Daddy!”

Ryan chuckled. “Yeah, it is. Why don’t you go play with Waverly and Nicole?”

“Okay!” He smiled before running off into the kitchen.

“He seemed to open up.” Ryan smiled proudly. “He’s normally  _ really  _ shy. Really, really, really shy.”

“That’s good.” Sarah smiled.

Ryan nodded proudly. “Yeah, it is.”

“Are you excited to go to Japan?” She asked.

“Oh, yeah, I can’t wait. It’s going to be awesome.” Ryan grinned. “I’ve really missed touring.”

“So have I.” I mumbled.

Morgan came back. “They’re only talking.”

“Aww, that’s boring. Alright, come snuggle with me.”

He giggled and crawled onto Ryan’s lap.

“Is there a reason you wanted me to come over or is this just to hang out. It just seems unexpected, that’s all.”

“Just to hang out.” Kaitlyn smiled.

“That’s cool.” He smiled.

Nicole came into the room. “Sarah, I need some help.”

“What with?”

“Just with the cooking. My hand is shaking again and I don’t trust myself with the knife.”

“Okay. I’ll be there in a sec.” She promised, getting up from her seat.

Ryan looked at me. “What’s that all about?”

I sighed. “It’s part of the reason we’re going to Japan. She’s got this thing called Huntington's disease, and it’s basically full body deterioration, which sounds really weird, but basically, we don’t know how much longer she has while she’s normal and in her right mind.”

“Oh… I can see now why you didn’t want me to mess it up.”

I nodded silently.

“I’ll do my best.” He promised.

“Thanks Ry.”

He smiled.

“When’s dinner Daddy?” Morgan asked.

“Soon buddy, soon.”

“Aww.” He mumbled.

“It’s alright bud. We can hang out with Brendon.”

“I didn’t think you liked him Daddy. You always are crying over him.”

Ryan put a hand over his mouth. “Uh… that’s not true.”

Morgan pushed his hand away. “Lying’s bad Daddy.”

“Don’t you have puppies Brendon?” Ryan changed the subject.

I nodded. “Let’s go. I’ll introduce you to them.”

We walked to the back door and I grabbed Ollie because he’s generally calmer. Morgan shrieked and hid behind Ryan’s leg.

“What’s wrong bud?” Ryan asked.

He didn’t say anything and shook his head.

“It’s okay, he’s nice.” I assured, gently patting Ollie’s head.

He inched closer and patted Ollie before retreating back behind Ryan.

Ryan chuckled. “It’s okay, he’s not going to hurt you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“It looks scary Daddy…”

Ryan gave Ollie a big pat. “It’s not scary bud. He’s really sweet.”

Morgan came forward and gave Ollie a pat and a bit of a scratch.

I smiled. “He’s really soft.”

Morgan nodded and smiled. “Can we get a doggy Daddy?”

Ryan shook his head. “Sorry bud. Maybe when you get a bit older.”

He frowned. “Okay Daddy.”

“Dinner!” Nicole called.

“Come on Daddy!” Morgan smiled, tugging on Ryan’s arm.

We walked into the kitchen, where Nicole handed me a plate of rather fancy-looking food.

“Looks good Nicole.” I smiled.

She grinned proudly. “It should taste pretty good too.”

“I’m sure it will. You were the one who cooked it after all.”

Waverly took a plate, but Ryan took it out of her hands. “Not for you sweetie. Sorry.”

She frowned. “Okay Dad.”

He heated up what looked to be a bowl of mush, before handing it to her.

“Thanks.”

Nicole wrinkled her nose up. “I could whip you up something else if you want, that doesn’t look very good.”

She shrugged. “I’m allergic to pretty much anything you could make. Don’t even bother.”

Nicole frowned. “If you say so.”

We sat down and ate, and I avoided saying how good it was as to not upset Ryan’s kid.

“D-Did you get something different from the usual Dad?” She asked nervously.

“No?”

“A-Are you sure?”

“Does it taste weird?”

She shook her head. “C-Can we go to the bathroom?”

“Oh, sure.” He got up from his seat, grabbing his bag on the way.

They walked into the bathroom without another word.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Sarah shrugged.

“Do you know Morgan?” I asked.

“I-I have to get ready to go. I think Daddy has to take her to hospital.”

“Oh…”

He climbed down from his seat and went and found his shoes.

Ryan came out with Waverly. “We have to go, sorry guys.”

“That’s okay.” I nodded. “Hope you feel better soon.”

They rushed out to the car before driving off.

Nicole frowned. “They didn’t even finish dinner.”

“Well I love it. It tastes awesome.”

She smiled. “Thanks Dad.”

“I wonder what happened…” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“I reckon it was a severe allergic reaction.” NIcole shrugged. “That goop looks like it’s made of like, flour and water.”

“Maybe…”

“Plus she said she has allergies.”

“Yeah, she did.”

“Is Daddy going to come back for me?” Morgan asked.

“Oh crap, are you still here?!”

He nodded.

I pulled my phone out and sent Ryan a text.

_ Brendon: You left your kid here. _

_ Ryan: I realised. I’ll be there soon. I’ve just got to drop Waverly off _

_ Brendon: Don’t worry, I’ll watch him for a bit. You stay with her. Is she alright? _

_ Ryan: I hope she is. _

_ Brendon: Take as long as you need. He can stay the night. _

_ Ryan: Thanks Brendon.  _

_ Brendon: No problems. _

_ Ryan: I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you soon. _

_ Brendon: See you soon. _

“Well bud, you’re going to stay here tonight.” I explained.

“Oh, okay…”

“Let’s go back in and finish dinner.” Nicole said.

We all sat back down and finished dinner. Morgan sort of lingered around me silently.

“You okay bud?” I asked.

“I’m not used to not having Daddy around.”

“That’s okay.” I assured, bending down to his height. “Your Daddy just has to take your sister to the hospital because she’s sick. He’ll come back and get you in the morning.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said Daddy cries over you lots…”

I chuckled. “It’s okay. Why don’t we go see if I can find some toys for you to play with?”

“Okay.”

I nervously walked into Parker’s room and turned the lights on, pulling down a bunch of stuffed toys that were gifted to us from all my siblings. “Here.”

“Do you want to play with me?”

“Sure.” I sat down on the floor. “What do you want to play?”

“Let’s make up a story?”

I smiled. “Okay.”

“This one is called Bluey.”

“What about this one?”

“Um….Lily.”

“That’s a nice name.” I smiled.

His smile faltered. “That was my Mommy’s name.”

“Was your Mommy nice?”

He shook his head. “T-That’s why the police man came and took me away.”

“Is Ryan nice to you?”

He nodded. “Daddy is the best.”

“That’s good.” I smiled.

Sarah came to the door. “What are you doing in here?”

“Playing.”

“What time do you go to bed Morgie?” She asked.

“Um...6:30.”

“Well, it’s 7 now. Let’s go get you dressed and ready for bed.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

Sarah took his hand and led him out of Parker’s room.

I sat on the floor and looked around, feeling sad all over again.

“What are you doing in here Dad?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Just thinking.”

“Want to come out? Nicole made dessert too.”

“Sure.”

She led me over to the kitchen, where Nicole handed me a bowl. “There’s extra here, so if you want seconds you can have some.”

I nodded. “Sounds good.”

Sarah brought Morgan out, dressed in one of Kaitlyn’s shirts. “This’ll make do for pyjamas, right?”

Kaitlyn nodded. “Are you comfy Morgan?”

He nodded and yawned. “Can I have some milk? Daddy always gives me milk before bed.”

Sarah nodded. “I can warm it up if you want. Warm or cold?”

“Uh… warm.”

Sarah poured a glass of milk and put it in the microwave for a few seconds before taking it out and handing it to Morgan.

He took a sip, before accidentally dropping the glass, shattering it into a million pieces.

“It’s alright.” Sarah assured, starting to pick up some of the bigger pieces.

He started crying.

“It’s okay Morgan.” I assured. I picked him up and took him into the lounge.

“The cups at home don’t break when I drop them.” He mumbled.

“Cups are weird like that.” I whispered.

He sniffled and cuddled me. “You can be Daddy number two.”

I smiled. “Okay. Does your Daddy number 1 ever sing to you bud?”

He nodded.

“What does he sing?”

“Uh… he sings this song about closing the door a lot.”

I giggled. “I know that one.”

“But I like it when he sings northern downpour.”

“I like that one too.” I whispered.

“Can you sing it?”

I nodded. “Sure bud.  _ I _ _ f all our life is but a dream..Fantastic posing greed...Then we should feed our jewelry to the sea…. _ ” I sung.

He smiled and snuggled into me.

Sarah walked into the room with some warm milk in a plastic cup. “Here bud.”

He smiled. “T-Thanks.”

Sarah ruffled his hair and sat down next to me.

After he finished his milk, I took the side off of Parker’s crib and turned it into a bed of sorts. “Here you go bud.”

“Thank you Daddy number 2.”

I smiled and tucked him in. “You get some sleep.”

He nodded. “Goodnight.”

I turned the light out and closed the door gently.

“He’s so cute.” Sarah whispered.

I nodded. “He’s really cute.”

“I miss having a little kid around.”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“Do you think we’ll try again someday?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I nodded.

She smiled. “I’d like that.”

“More dessert, anyone?” Nicole asked. “It doesn’t keep, and I made so much of it.”

“I’ll have some more.” I shrugged.

She handed me a bowl. “Thanks.”

“No problems.”

My phone started ringing, and I went outside to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hey Brendon.” Ryan sighed. “How are you?”

“I’m alright. What’s going on with you?”

“Wavey’s going to be okay.” He sighed. “But we can add another allergy to the list. That leaves like, 4 things she can eat without going into anaphylactic shock.”

I frowned. “That sucks, I’m sorry.”

“I guess I’ll work around it. How’s Morgie? Is he being a handful?”

“No, he’s been great. We’ve just put him to bed.”

“Oh, good. I don’t mean to be trouble, but is there any chance you could drop him off here tomorrow morning? I don’t think I can leave her.”

“That’s fine.” I assured.

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks Bren.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you tomorrow.”

I hung up the call before going back inside.


	29. Chapter 28 - We’re Here So Much, We Should Just Move In.

“Where's Daddy?” Morgan asked me quietly.

“He’s at the hospital with Waverly.” I explained, pouring some milk into his cereal. “I’ll drive you there after breakfast.”

“Oh… okay.” He nodded. 

“Want some water?” I offered.

He nodded. “With a straw.”

“Uh… I don’t think we have any straws bud.”

He frowned.

I handed him a cup of water. “Here.”

He just ate silently, until Sarah got him dressed into his clothes from yesterday, which she’d washed overnight.

“Are you ready to go bud?” I asked.

He nodded.

“Can I come too?” Kaitlyn asked.

I shrugged. “Sure.”

We went to the car, and Morgan was mostly silent for the drive.

“You okay back there bud?” I asked.

He shrugged silently and stared out the window.

“Are you excited to see your dad?”

He nodded.

“That's good.” I smiled. 

We reached the hospital and Ryan texted me the room number. 

When we got there, Morgan raced up to Ryan and got himself resituated in his lap.

Ryan smiled. “Hey Morgie.”

He rested his head on Ryan’s shoulder without providing a response.

Waverly was still sleeping, and her face was still all swollen from the attack. I grimaced. “Is it like this every time?”

“Sometimes worse. This one wasn’t  _ too _ bad.”

I grimaced again. 

“She should be okay. I’ve just got to work out what she’s gonna eat.”

“Oh right. What  _ can  _ she eat?”

He shrugged and handed me a list from his bag. “That’s what she can't.” The list was multiple pages long.

“Damn.” I muttered, flicking through it. 

“It is pretty intense.”

“How do you even deal with this?”

“I don’t know. She’s been fed through a needle at the moment. It’s just a mixture of the stuff she can eat.”

I grimaced. “That's awful.”

“It is. It might be the only option left though.”

Waverly started to stir. “D-dad?”

“I’m here. Are you alright baby?”

“N-not really… d-do you got a sick bag?”

He nodded and grabbed one from the seat beside him. He held it up to her mouth and rubbed her back as she threw up.

“Eww.” Morgan stated. 

Ryan thought she was done so he twisted up the bag just before she started throwing up again.

I immediately grabbed the second bag and held it up. 

“Th-thanks.” She whispered once she’d finished.

“It's fine.” I shrugged. 

She laid back on the bed, still looking really sickly.

“Do you want some water?” Ryan offered. 

She nodded. “Please.”

He nodded and left the room. 

“Y-You guys can go if you want.” She whispered.

“No, it’s okay.” I assured, sitting down. “I don’t have anywhere else to be.”

She nodded unsurely and waited for Ryan to return.

Ryan came back with a small paper cup of water, which he poured into a filter water bottle before handing to Waverly.

She sipped up the drink and placed it beside her. “Thanks Dad.”

“No problem Wavey.” He smiled. “How’s the vision? Still blurry?”

“Much better now.”

“Oh, good, good.” He smiled. “At least this one wasn’t so bad.”

She nodded. “Probably one of the better ones.”

“I know you’re not going to want to hear this, but we’re probably going to have to go to the feeding bag a lot more now sweetie.”

She nodded in understanding. “I had a feeling that’d happen.”

He smiled. “Thanks for understanding. I mean, I never even thought it was possible to develop an allergy to that stuff...”

She paused. “D-Dad… I h-have a c-confession…”

“And what’s that sweetie?”

“N-Nicole had these chips out w-while she w-was cooking, and I t-t-thought it would be o-okay because t-the packet s-said like g-gluten free and stuff on it…”

“That’s alright.” He assured. “It’s okay.”

She sniffled. “I-I’m s-sorry.”

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.”

“B-But I m-made all t-this t-trouble…”

“That’s alright. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

She hugged him. “Y-You’re t-the best.”

He smiled. “If you say so.”

“C-Can you g-go get a doctor t-though? M-My f-face feels funny…”

He nodded. “Of course.”

She reluctantly let go of him and Ryan walked out of the room and went to find a doctor.

Ryan came back not much longer with a doctor by his side.

“Hello Waverly, how are you feeling?”

“O-Okay, but my face feels funny.”

“What do you mean by funny? Is it hurting?”

“Sort of, its just funny.”

“Is it numb?”

She shook her head. “Not numb, I don’t know.”

“Is it… tingling?” He asked.

“Sort of?”

“Hmm. Does it hurt to the touch?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t tried.”

He gently placed a finger on her cheek and she whimpered in pain.

“So yes.”

She nodded. “L-Lots.”

“Alright, it might be the medication. We’ll find an alternative for you.”

“Thank you.”

He smiled and left the room.

“I’m glad that’s getting sorted.”

“Yeah.” Waverly murmured. “I’m still gonna get to go to Japan with everyone, right?”

“Of course baby.” Ryan assured.

She smiled. “G-Good.”

“Are you excited for the trip?”

She nodded. “Very.”

“Awesome.” He smiled.

My phone binged in my pocket.

_ Sarah: Meet me in emergency in 3 minutes or so. _

_ Brendon: What’s up? _

_ Sarah: Nicole had another seizure. _

_ Brendon: Alright. I’ll be there as soon as I can. _

“Alright little worm, we gotta head down to emergency.” I said, grabbing my stuff.

She frowned. “Okay.”

“Why emergency?” Ryan asked.

“Nicole’s having, or just had, I’m not sure, another seizure.”

“Oh, tell her I hope she feels better.”

I nodded. “Sure.” 

Morgan ran over and hugged me. “Bye bye Daddy number two.”

“Bye Morgan. Be good for Daddy number one, okay?”

He nodded. “Bye!”

We walked out of the room and paced to emergency. We met up with Sarah who was sitting in a waiting room.

“Hey, is she okay?” I asked, wrapping her in a hug.

“I haven’t seen her yet.” She whispered.

“S-She’s gonna be o-okay right?” Kaitlyn asked.

“She should be bub.”

“O-Okay, g-good.”

“For now we just wait.”

“Y-Yeah.”

After about an hour, we were called through, and Nicole had more of that weird seizure medicine.

“Heyyyyyyyyyyy Daaaad.”

“Hey Nikki. How’s it going?”

“Reallllllllllly good. Like reeeeeeeally, reeeeeeally goooood.”

“That’s good to hear.”

She smiled. “It’s cooooold in here Daaaaad.”

“Do you want my jacket?”

She nodded.

I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her. “Better?”

“Yeahhhhh. Thanks Dad.” She snuggled into me. “You’reeee nice and warmmmmm.”

I smiled. “Good to know.”

She shuffled over and patted the bed next to her. “Come herrrre.”

I climbed into her bed beside her and wrapped an arm around her.

She smiled and snuggled into me. “You’re the bestttttttttttttt.”

“If you say so Nic.”

“Knock knock.”

“Ryan!” Kaitlyn smiled.

“Hey Ryan.” I greeted.

Morgan immediately hugged me. “Daddy number two!”

“Hey Morgan.”

“Did you get released?” I asked.

Waverly nodded. “10 minutes ago.”

“So you’re all good?”

She nodded. “Yep.”

“Waveeeeeeeey!” Nicole grinned.

“Hey Nicole.”

“Are youuuu feeling betterrrrrrrrrrr?”

“She’s on a lot of strong medication.” I explained.

Waverly nodded. “I noticed.”

Nicole’s doctor came into the room. “Hello Nicole, how are you feeling?”

“Greaaaaaaaaaatttt.”

“That’s good. Not feeling faint at all?”

“Not reaaaaaallllly.”

“That’s good.” She shone a light in each eye. “Can you count to 10 for me?”

“1…...2……..7?” She mumbled, trying to use her hands to block the light.

“Alright, and when’s your birthday?”

“Doooooont you know thiiiiiis already miss?”” 

“I just want to see if you know. When’s your birthday Nicole?”

“God knows.” She murmured.

“Alright, what date is Christmas?”

“25th ooooof the 12th month.”

“That’s right, good job.” She praised. “And what’s the year?”

“2020.” She shrugged.

“How old are you Nicole?”

“16?”

“Okay. I’ll see you later, just rest up for me.”

Nicole nodded and laid back on the bed.

The doctor gave me a smile before heading out of the room.

Nicole curled up and rested her head on my chest before falling asleep.

“Does this happen often?” Ryan asked.

I nodded glumly. “Sadly.”

“Oh…”

“It used to be daily, then it died down a bit. I hope she’ll be alright.”

“She’ll be okay.” Sarah assured.

“I just don’t want her getting them back to back again.”

“Yeah.” Sarah mumbled.

We must’ve been speaking too loud or something because Nicole groaned before curling up further.

“Sorry Nic.” I whispered.

“It’s okay.” She mumbled, barely distinguishable.

I gently stroked her hair and started to sing. Ryan joined in once he realised what song it was.

“I love you Dad.” She whispered.

“I love you too Nic.” I smiled.

“I’m not tired.” She yawned, before giggling slightly.

“That’s okay. You can just stay and talk with us if you want.”

She nodded and cuddled up with me.

“What do you want to do in Japan Nic?” Ryan asked.

“Taste the weird candy.” She mumbled.

“That’s cool. What else?”

“See all the pretty landscapes.”

“That sounds nice. Anything else?”

“Shopping.”

“Can we do the video game arcade Dad?” Waverly asked. “They look so fun.”

Ryan nodded. “Sure thing.”

She grinned. “Cool.”

“God I hope this trip’s worth it.” I mumbled.

“Why do you say that?” Ryan asked.

“I want everyone to have fun, and I’m worried no one will turn up to the concert.”

“Half the tickets are sold already.” Ryan assured. “And one of the shows is sold out. We’ll have a good time.”

“Hopefully.” I breathed. “I don’t want to screw it up.”

“You won’t.” Nicole mumbled sleepily.

“I haven’t done a proper concert in ages Nic.”

“You’re a great performer.” She mumbled. “I watched a video.”

“Yes but how long ago was that?”

“3 years?” She paused. “I don’t know, uh… 82?”

“Maybe I should go back to my vocal coach for a while.”

“I don’t think you need to do that. You still sound amazing.” Ryan said.

“Maybe…” I mumbled.

Nicole started snoring.

I giggled slightly and started stroking her hair.

“Pancakes…” She murmured, still asleep. “N-No pancakes, n-no…”

“Should we wake her up?”

“A little sleep talking never does any harm.” Sarah shrugged. “And besides, she’s dreaming about pancakes.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

We sat and talked for a while more, until Ryan had to leave. That just left me, Sarah, Kaitlyn, and a sleeping Nicole.

The doctor came back and left after she realised Nicole was asleep.

“Are you excited to go to Japan little worm?”

Kaitlyn nodded. “It’s going to be so cool.”

“It is.” I agreed.

******* Ryan’s Point of View *******

“Daddy number two kept changing the subject when I told him that you kept crying over him.”

I sighed. “I told you not to tell him that Morgie. And why is he Daddy number two?”

“Because you told me that a Daddy was someone who loves you and cares about you, and he did those things so he’s a Daddy too!”

“If you say so.” I murmured. “Just be careful, alright? Sometimes he does silly things.”

“I think he’s nice.” Morgan stated. “And so is his wife.”

“Alright Morgie. If he does anything that makes you feel bad, tell me, okay?”

He seemed confused, but nodded. 

“What'd he do to make you think he loves you and makes you think he cares?”

“He played with me and took care of me and was super nice!”

“I don't trust him Morgan. You shouldn't either.”

Morgan frowned. “Can I have some milk?”

“Sure bud.”

He smiled and ran to the kitchen. 

I texted Brendon.

_ Ryan: You can't tell me to back off from Kaitlyn when you've convinced Morgan you love him. _

_ Brendon: Huh? I didn’t tell him that at all. _

_ Ryan: You didn’t have to. _

_ Brendon: I literally just talked to him a couple of times because he was following me around like a lost puppy _

_ Ryan: You must’ve done something else. He thinks you’re amazing. _

_ Brendon: I played with him for like, 10 minutes? _

_ Ryan: I’m sick of you lying. _

_ Brendon: I’m not lying! Ask my family, I have witnesses. He spent more time with Sarah than he did with me. _

_ Ryan: Whatever. _

I shoved my phone back into my pocket and went to find Morgan.

“Daddy I got it!” He yelled, grabbing the bottle from the fridge, before dropping it on his toe and bursting into tears.

I raced over to him and wrapped him in a hug. “It’s alright Morgie, it’s okay.”

He sniffled. “I don’t want milk anymore. It’s mean.”

“That’s okay.

He hugged me. “What are we gonna do tonight?”

“We can just relax and watch a movie.”

“Can we go out to the movies?” He asked excitedly.

“Maybe Morgie, maybe.”

“Pwease Daddy? Pwease?”

“Okay, sure.”

He grinned and hugged me. “Thank you!”

“It’s alright.”

Waverly walked out of her room. “What’s going on?”

“We’re going to the movies.”

“Oh cool! What one?”

“We don’t know yet.”

She sat down at my computer and pulled up the times. “Uh… what do you want to see?”

Morgan shrugged.

“Something your brother can see.” I told her.

She nodded. “Of course.”

We ended up choosing the latest animated feature, and after getting ready, we drove down to the theatre.

“Can we get popcorn Daddy?” Morgan asked.

“Sure bud.” I nodded. “Get a soda, too.”

He grinned. “Yay!”

I helped him fill everything up, while Waverly stood at the side, flicking through her phone.

“Alright, let’s go line up guys.”

Morgan took a big sip of the drink. “D’ya want some Wavey?”

She shook her head. “No thanks.”

He shrugged and continued drinking it.

“Save some for the actual movie Morgie.”

He giggled and took another sip.

I sighed. “Come on, let’s go in.”

We took our seats, and Morgan couldn’t see so he sat on my lap.

“All comfy?” I whispered.

“Uh huh.” He nodded.

“Okay.” I smiled slightly, wrapping my arms around him.

We watched the movie, and Morgan drank the rest of the soda. It was actually quite a nice night.

“That was good movie Daddy. I really liked it.” Morgan smiled.

“I liked it too.” I smiled.

“Daddy number two would have liked it as well.”

“I know.” I sighed. “But he’s busy.”

“Oh, okay. Can we get ice cream?”

“Sure bud.” I mumbled. 

“Why do you look miserable?” Waverly asked, taking my hand.

“It’s nothing.” I sighed.

“Don’t lie to me.” She warned.

“I’m just being stupid.”

“Talk.” She demanded.

“Just, being around Brendon, and all this talk about him is making me feel bad, because I still love him, I mean, I haven’t dated since.” I mumbled. “I’m just chasing someone I can’t have.”

“He’s married though Dad. You need to forget about him.”

“I know, but I can’t.” I sighed. “I haven’t found anyone else.”

“Have you considered internet dating?” She asked.

“No? I don’t know if it’ll work.”

She grinned. “Well, you can always try.”

“I guess so.”

“I’ll help make you a profile when we get home.”

“You seem more enthusiastic about this than I am.”

She giggled. “I just don’t want you to be sad. You’re always so glum.”

“You won’t find a match anyway.”

“Oh, I’m sure I will. I mean, you will.”

“I’m not Waves. I’m like, the worst person to be with. I’m not straight, I’m once again a touring musician. There’s nothing out there for me.”

“Well, I think you’re pretty great.” She smiled. “You’re sweet, you’re kind, you’re handsome, and you’re a great Dad.”

“Maybe.” I murmured.

She swung our hands back and forth. “I’ll find you someone Dad.”

“Thanks Waves.” I smiled slightly.

She giggled. “No problem.”

We walked to the ice cream shop and Morgan got a little bowl full.

He giggled. “Thanks Daddy!”

“It’s alright bud.”

“You want some Wavey?”

She shook her head. “No thanks Morgie.”

“Okay.” He took another spoonful, getting it all over his face.

I waited for him to finish before pulling a napkin out of the dispenser and cleaning up his face.

“Can we go home now Daddy? I’m tired.”

I nodded. “Sure bud. Let’s go.”

“Am I babysitting tomorrow again Dad?” Waverly asked on the drive home. “Are you going to practice for Japan again?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask him.” I mumbled.

“Okay, cool.”

We got home and Morgan had a bath before I tucked him into bed.

“Thanks for taking me out Daddy.” He smiled.

“It’s fine.” I smiled.

He smiled again and curled up to sleep. I turned his night light on, before turning the regular light off and stepping out of the room.

“All good?” Waverly asked.

I nodded. “Yep.”

“Time to make your dating profile!”

I rolled my eyes. “If we must.”

She giggled and sat down at the computer, patting the seat next to her.

I sat down beside her as she pulled the page up.

“New profile. Full name?”

“Do I really have to tell you this?”

“Yep.”

I sighed. “George Ryan Ross the Third.”

She giggled. “Nice.”

“Shut up. It’s not my fault my parents gave me a stupid name.”

She tapped it into the page. “Alright. Age?”

“30.” I mumbled.

“Okay, occupation?”

“Musician.”

“Should I put for Panic ?”

“If you want.” I sighed.

“Okay, we need to take a profile picture.” She grabbed the camera. “Pose with your guitar and smile.”

I gave up protesting and just did what she said to.

“Oh come on, put some effort into it. Or else I’m going to use one of those old ones where you wore heaps of eyeliner.”

I mumbled a string of swear words under my breath before trying to put more effort into the picture.

She smiled. “That’s it Dad! Work it!”

I shuddered. “Let’s refrain from using photographer terms like that. This is already uncomfortable.”

“Work it good!” She giggled.

“Let’s stop. You must have one good one.”

She plugged the camera in and picked her favourite. “There. That’s good.”

“What else do you need?”

She passed the computer to me. “What do you want to put as your description?”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged.

“Hmmm… what would you say are your best qualities?”

“You know that I have none.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a downer. Let me try.”

_ Ryan Ross. Musician. Guitarist. Singer. Songwriter. Loving father to two kids. Single as a pringle and ready to mingle. _

“Oh god, not that last part.”

“That’s the best bit!”

“That’s the worst bit.” I corrected.

She frowned. “What do you want to put then?”

“Not that.”

“Alright then.”

_ Single as a pringle and ready to flamingle. _

“What the hell does that even mean?”

She shrugged. “Heard some people at school saying it.”

“Let’s stick to sentences that make sense.”

She sighed. “Fine.”

_ Ryan Ross. Musician. Guitarist. Singer. Songwriter. Loving father to two kids. Looking for a long term partner with lots of love to share. _

“That’s not too bad.”

“Alright, moving on!” She clicked the arrow to the next page, which was full of all your favourite things to do and whatnot. She pushed the computer towards me.

“Why are you making me do this?”

“So you’re not lonely anymore.” She stated.

I sighed and filled in everything I had to before pushing it back to her.

She frowned. “In ‘thing’s I’ve done’, you put nothing.”

“Well I can’t lie.”

“Well, you are! Dad, you travelled the world! You’ve done so much cool stuff!”

“I don’t know if anyone would care about that Waves.”

“Well, I’m going to put it in.” Waverly said. “You really should put it on.”

“If you say so.”

She put it in. “Alright, and you’re online! Woo! You have 5 matches!”

“Great.” I mumbled.

“Do you wanna look at them?”

I closed the lid. “Look, maybe later Waves. You haven’t eaten yet, let’s get that sorted.”

She groaned. “But this is more important!”

“No, it’s not.” I said sternly. “Come on, we’ll watch a movie once I get it sorted.”

“You really should focus on your happiness a bit more Dad. I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine Waves. I don’t need anyone. I’ve got you and Morgie and it’s great.”

“What if after Japan you go on more tours, then we’ll have no one!”

“You can come with me.” I smiled. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure this is just a one time thing. Brendon’s still Brendon, touring’s not his thing.”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER! YOU CAN’T KEEP IGNORING THIS!”

“Waverly Rachel Ross, my dating life is none of your concern. If I’m interested, I’ll look. But at the moment, I’m not. So let’s get this feeding bag sorted and then we’ll watch a movie before you go to bed.”

“I’m just going to bed now.”

“No, you need to eat.” I said, going into the kitchen and grabbing a bag from the fridge.

She’d already gotten into the shower.

I groaned in frustration, and sat back down at the computer.

I debated closing the computer down completely, but found myself looking through the matches.

I found one that seemed alright, and I clicked on him, reading over his profile. He seemed nice, had a good job, and a kid, and liked similar things. I decided to send him a message.

_ Hey, we were matched. You seem pretty cool. _

_ You too :) _

I smiled.

_ So…. what should I call you? _

_ Nathan, you? _

_ Ryan. _

_ I like that name. :) _

I giggled slightly.

_ I like yours too :) _

_ You’re probably the nicest guy I’ve met on this site. _

_ Seriously? My daughter made my profile about 10 minutes ago, and you’re my first match. _

_ I’ve been on here for a couple of months. Most people don’t care for actual romance. _

_ Well, I guess I’m glad I was matched with you then. _

_ Same here. _

I took a deep breath in.

_ Do you want to go on a date? _

_ Yeah, sure. When are you thinking? _

_ Sunday, maybe? _

_ Sounds good. _

_ Do you know the coffee house on Gregory road? _

_ I do. That’s a nice little place. Wanna meet up there? _

_ Sounds great. What time? _

_ How’s 10 in the morning? _

_ Sounds good. :) _

_ See you then :) _

_ You too Nathan :) _

_ Wanna talk about our kids? _

_ Sure. I have two. Waverly, or Wavey as I call her, is 12, and Morgan is 3. _

_ Sounds cute. _

_ What about you? _

_ I had a little girl, but well, something happened and I haven’t seen her in a long time. _

_ Oh, that sucks, I guess. What happened? _

_ A lot of complicated stuff. I hope she’s safe. As far as I know, she’s with one of my old best friends. _

_ Oh, that’s good at least. _

_ Yeah. I hope to talk to her again, talk to him again, even.  _

_ Why don’t you? _

_ I’m just afraid. _

_ Of? _

_ We didn’t leave on the best of terms. _

_ Well, it can’t be that bad if he or she has your daughter. I’m sure they’d appreciate a visit. _

_ Maybe... _

_ Anyway, what was her name? _

_ It was, uh, Kaitlyn. _

_ Pretty name :) _

_ Yeah. I loved her so much. _

_ I can imagine. _

“Dad’s got a date!” Waverly grinned. “Woo!”

I jumped in alarm, not realising that she was there. “Waverly! Seriously!”

“This is awesome!”

_ I have to go, sorry. My children are being painful. _

“I am not!”

_ That’s fine. Have a good night Ryan. _

_ You too Nathan. _

“Alright, now that you’re here, you need to eat.” I said, closing the laptop lid.

She pouted. “Fine.’

I got the bag from the stand and hooked it up to everything, before finally connecting it to her stomach. She grimaced as I put it in.

“Sorry sweetheart.” I apologised, using some medical tape to secure it.

“It’s fine.” She mumbled.

I sat down beside her on the couch. “What do you want to watch? Your choice.”

“I don’t mind.”

I put on one of her favourite shows and leaned back. “This is okay?”

“Yeah, thanks Dad.”

She curled up on the couch and watched about half the movie before falling asleep.

I stayed up until the bag was empty and dismantled everything, before carrying her to bed.

“Night Dad.” She mumbled.

“Night Wavey.” I smiled, tucking her in. “See you tomorrow.”


	30. Chapter 29 - The Undead

“It’s not that big of a deal Waves.” I mumbled.

She straightened my bow tie. “It’s your first date in years! I’m so excited for you!”

“Do you think this is too formal?”

She shook her head. “You look fabulous Dad. If this doesn’t work out, we should take another profile picture in this outfit.”

“Okay.” I stammered.

She giggled again. “Make sure to not spill any coffee on your shirt.”

“I’ll try not too.”

“Good.” She smiled. “Have fun Dad. Bring Morgie home a milkshake.”

“I will, I promise.”

She ran one last comb through my hair. “Well, you should probably head off. Good luck!”

I nodded and headed to the coffee shop.

I was there first, and got a table. I nervously tapped the table as I waited for Nathan.

“Hello Ryan.” A voice greeted.

I looked up and gasped. “Y-You’re n-not Nathan!”

“Kinda not really.”

I immediately wrapped him in a hug. “You were dead!”

“Yeah….”

“God, you’re here!” I stammered. “T-This is like seeing a ghost!”

He chuckled. “I assure you, I’m here, not a ghost.”

I touched his arm just to make sure. “W-Where’s Lydia?”

“We had some issues.”

“Oh… anyway, sit down! We need to talk! Where have you been?!”

He sat down. “I’ve been travelling, which was fun.”

“Why did you let us think you were dead?!”

“Because I needed to get away. As I said, Lydia and I had some issues, and I didn’t want to have to face them, or for Kaitlyn to have to go through that.”

“She went through a hell of a lot more Damien. What the hell!?”

“Look, I know it was stupid. I’ve heard what happened to Brendon too.” He sighed.

“Get up. We’re going there.  _ Now. _ ”

“Geez, okay.”

It was quite odd driving my dead best friend to visit my ex-boyfriend and his daughter.

“This is not a good idea.”

“You can deal with what, half an hour of suffering for the 10 years you put them through.” I grumbled.

“Okay, okay.” He mumbled.

“Oh, and thanks for crashing my date.” I muttered. “Wavey’s gonna be mad at you.”

“I’m sorry Ryan, it was the only way I could really get in touch with you.”

“Still.” I muttered. “I spent all week stressing over that.”

He frowned. “I can introduce you to a friend of mine if you really want.”

“No thanks.” I mumbled. “Wavey’ll find someone.”

We got to Brendon’s house and I dragged him to the front door before I banged on the wood.

Nicole answered the door. “Oh, hey Ryan. Who’s this?”

“K-Kaitlyn?” Damien asked.

Nicole shook her head. “No, that’s my sister. What do you want with her?”

“Just let us in.”

She frowned. “Fine. Dad! Ryan and some weird dude are here!”

“That’s no way to talk about guests!” He called back.

Nicole sighed. “Come in.”

When Brendon saw Damien he froze. “S-Sarah. I-I think I’m hallucinating.”

Damien sighed. “No, you’re not. Hi Brendon. I’m not dead.”

Brendon raced out of the room.

“Uh… don’t mind him.” I mumbled. “Little Urie! Where are you?”

“Ryan?” She called, before racing out of her room. She raced over and hugged me.

I smiled. “Hey little Urie. I want you to meet someone.”

“Who’s that?” She asked.

“Kaitlyn, I’d like you to meet Damien Priss. Damien, I’d like you to meet your daughter.”

“O-oh, h-hi.” Kaitlyn stammered. “I-I thought you w-were dead.” She whimpered.

He kneeled down. “My god, look at how much you’ve grown Kat. Come here.”

She shakily walked forward.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be scared.” He assured. “Wow, gosh, last time I saw you…”

“I was 5…”

“Yeah, you were. Gosh, just… wow.” He wrapped her in a hug.

“P-Please don’t t-take me away from Brendon!” She cried.

“Oh? Oh, no, no, no. Of course not.” Damien promised.

“A-Are you sure?”

“Promise.” He nodded.

“O-Okay.” She whispered shakily.

Sarah walked into the room. “Bren, you’re not hallucinating. Come on, come back out.”

“B-But he’s dead!”

“Well, obviously not, because he’s standing right in front of me.”

“THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!” He cried.

“I know.” Sarah frowned at Damien. “Anyway, come out. Please.”

He came out in tears.

“Hi Brendon.” Damien repeated.

“Y-You’re not real.”

“Touch my hand. I’m as real as you are.”

“B-But, the crash!”

He looked down. “Yeah, I know.”

“I-I need to talk to Dr Jo.”

Sarah nodded. “Of course babe. Just, right now, let’s just deal with what’s in front of us.”

“But I-I can’t! That’s the problem!”

“I am still very confused.” Nicole stated. “Who’s this weirdo and why is everyone freaking out?”

“Yeah, hi, I’m Damien and I was supposed to have died 10 years ago.”

“Oh, I get it. Well, hi. I’m Nicole. Pleasure.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

Brendon pulled Kaitlyn into his arms. “W-What are you doing here?”

“I dragged him.” I muttered.

“Why n-now?”

“Well, it’s been 10 years, almost. I figured, maybe it was time.” Damien mumbled.

“You shouldn’t have come back.” Brendon whispered.

“Huh? W-Why?”

“You let me sit and suffer with guilt for 10 goddamn years!”

“I-It was s-stupid, I r-realise that.” Damien murmured.

“Now I’ve got to deal with this!”

“Well it’s not that hard? I wasn’t here, now I am?”

“It’s not that easy you idiot!”

“Okay, okay. Sorry.”

“SORRY?! ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS SORRY!?”

“Brendon I was an idiot.” Damien sighed. “I was young, and dumb, and just an idiot. The crash happened, and I saw an opportunity, and I crawled out of the ambulance, and they never found my body so they just said I was dead. I started again as Nathan McCrawley. I’ve been living in Singapore, just trying to get myself together. I was a mess, and I still am. I’m just trying to make everything right now.”

“You can’t fix this.” I muttered.

“C-Can’t I try?”

“No, now get out.”

“Brendon, please…”

“YOU CAN’T FIX THIS! YOU CAN’T FIX ME!” He cried.

I sighed and stood next to him. “He’s right Damien. You need to go.”

Brendon raced into Sarah’s arms and bawled his eyes out.

“Brendon, I’m really, really sorry.” He tried to apologise again. “Just give me a chance.”

“M-Maybe another time, a-a week from now, j-just, for now, you n-need to go.” He whimpered.

Damien nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll see you soon Brendon. Bye.”

No one waved as he left.

Brendon was only getting worse, and Sarah was quickly running out of ways to help him.

“Nicole, call Dr Jo. We need an emergency appointment, right now.”

Nicole nodded and raced to the phone.

“He was older than I remember.” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“I don’t think you would’ve remembered much.” I murmured.

“I-I don’t even know how to feel.” Brendon stammered.

“That’s okay Brendon.” I assured.

He didn’t respond, just continued crying.

Nicole returned. “She just said to call an ambulance. Should I do that?”

Sarah sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

The ambulance arrived quickly and Brendon was still crying as he got into the back. I got in with him and Sarah took Nicole and Kaitlyn to the hospital.

“I-I don't wanna go to the institution!” Brendon sobbed.

“You aren’t, don't worry Brendon. Just to the hospital.”

He continued crying until we arrived. They took him in straight to the mental health ward and restrained him. Sarah and the girls came in.

“It’s okay Bren, it's okay.” Sarah assured.

*******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

“W-We’re not gonna be able to go to Japan.” I sniffled

“No, we will, don't worry.”

“Th-they won't send me if I-I'm not stable enough t-to perform.”

“It'll be alright, we’ll talk to Robert, and Dr Jo.”

“T-they're not g-going to let m-me go!” I cried. 

“They will Brendon.” Sarah promised. “They will. Calm down. We still have a month till we leave, we’ll be going. Just relax.”

“B-But I c-can’t Sarah! H-He’s a-alive!”

“I know, I know. Do you want me to send Dr Jo in?”

I nodded hesitantly.

She kissed my cheek before leaving the room, and a few moment later, my psychologist entered.

“Hi Brendon.”

“H-Hey Dr J-Jo.” I murmured.

“What’s going on?”

“D-Damien’s n-not dead! H-He’s been a-alive all t-this time!”

She seemed puzzled. “Really?”

“I-I swear! I-I'm not lying!”

“T-Talk to Sarah!”

Sarah sighed. “Damien came to see us just before.”

“See!” I stammered. “You have to believe me! He's alive! I'm so confused, and sad, and angry.”

“Wait, so, he’s been alive, this entire time?”

“S-Something like that.” I whispered.

“Okay, uh, wow.” She paused for a moment to think. “And how was your initial reaction?”

“I thought I was hallucinating.” I mumbled.

“And then what happened?”

“I kept telling him he wasn’t real, and I was crying, and scared, and, it’s just, strange.

“And how did he react to seeing  _ you? _ ”

“He seemed fine, like I didn’t think he was dead for 10 years. He said he wanted to try and fix everything.”

“And what did you think about that?”

“I hated him for it. I think I just hate  _ him _ .”

“Why do you hate him Brendon?”

“Because he just came back out of nowhere! He tortured me!”

“How would you define torture?”

“He left me to suffer for 10 goddamn years!” I yelled. “I’ve been to mental institutions, I’ve had to deal with the guilt, I could’ve been normal if he hadn’t done what he did!”

“Okay, okay, calm down.”

“I’M NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN! HE’S SO STUPID!”

“Brendon, I understand why you’re angry, and it’s okay to be angry, but I’m starting to fear for my safety and if you don’t calm down, I’m going to have to leave.”

I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She assured. “Let’s just talk, calmly. Is it safe to say that you’re no longer friends?”

I nodded. “Definitely.”

“And how is Kaitlyn going with it?”

“She’s just shocked.”

“Is he going to try for custody?”

“I’m not going to let him. He doesn’t deserve a kid.”

“Okay. Have you heard anything about Lydia?”

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

“Alright. What do you plan on doing regarding the situation?”

“I don’t know. I told him to talk to me again in like a week so I can calm down.”

“That’s a very good decision Brendon.” She praised.

“Maybe.” I mumbled. “I didn’t want to dismiss him completely.”

“If it gets too much, you do have the right to do that.” She told me.

“Alright.” I murmured.

“Because you’re in control here. You don’t owe him anything.”

I sighed. “First Ryan, now Damien, my life is turning into a time warp. I’ve travelled back 10 years.”

“It seems that way.” She agreed. 

“I’m not dreaming, right?” I asked.

“Correct.” She nodded.

I sighed. “This is weird.”

“It’ll get easier Brendon.” Sarah shrugged.

“I hope so…”

There was a knock at the door. “D-Dad?”

“Yeah?” I murmured.

Kaitlyn walked in and hugged me. “I-I missed you.”

“I missed you too little worm.”

“A-Are you okay D-Dad?”

“Maybe?”

“I-I’m sorry h-he made y-you feel b-bad.”

“It’s not your fault Kaitlyn.”

“I s-still f-feel bad.”

“You don’t have to.”

She just hugged me.

“I love you little worm.” I whispered.

“I l-love you t-too Dad.”

“How are you going?”

She didn’t say anything.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing.” She said unconvincingly.

“Talk to me little worm.”

She shook her head and left the room quickly.

I sighed. “I’m worried about her.”

Dr Jo nodded. “You really should get that stutter checked out too.”

“She only stutters sometimes.”

She frowned. “I’ve never seen her not stutter.”

“Yeah, she does it a lot.”

“I think you should get it checked out.”

“Maybe.”

“I might go see what’s up.” Sarah said, leaving the room.

******* Kaitlyn’s Point of View *******

“I think I’m getting bad again June. I’m seeing things again, and hearing things again, and it’s scary.” I admitted.

“You’re fine.” She assured.

“I d-dunno if I am. I t-thought I heard G-Gretchen earlier, in the walls! That’s not good…”

“It’s just cause you’re lonely.”

“I’m scared June. I don’t wanna go back to the institution. I think Dad’s catching on, too…”

“He’s too busy being insane to worry about you.”

I frowned. “He’s not insane.”

She grumbled. “Sorry, being himself.”

“Do you not like him or something?”

“He’s fine, I guess. I like you more.”

“Hmm, okay.”

“Look, I don’t know why you’re worried. You’re fine Kaitlyn.”

“I’m just good at worrying.”

“Well, don’t.” June said. “I don’t like it when you worry, it stresses me out.”

“ Sorry…” 

“It’s fine. I gotta go though. Talk to you later.”

“See you later June.” I sighed. “Thanks for the talk.”

She smiled before running off.

I sighed and went to walk away, but Sarah walked around the corner.

“Hey Bub. What’s up?”

“N-Nothing?”

She held her hand out to me. “Come on, let’s go downstairs and get a drink.”

“D-Do we have to?”

“Yep. Let’s go.”

I frowned and followed her downstairs.

Sarah ordered some coffee and ordered me some tea. We sat down in a small side table, and I tapped the table nervously.

“What’s wrong?” She asked. 

“N-Nothing.” I said.

“You’re lying.”

“I-It’s not i-important.” I mumbled.

“It obviously is. Talk to me bub.”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“Don’t you trust me?”

I winced. “I j-just don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Please bub, I need to know.”

I shook my head. “It’s nothing.”

“Just, tell me something. Just something.”

“J-June’s back?” I offered.

She nodded. “Anyone else?”

I shook my head unconvincingly.

“Kaitlyn…” She urged.

“N-No, I-It’s fine!”

“Just talk to me bub.”

“B-But it’s not i-important. Focus on D-Dad.”

“Dad’s gonna be fine.”

“And so am I.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“T-This is why I d-didn’t wanna tell you!”

“Not telling me is the reason we’re here.”

“F-Fine! I-I’m getting r-really bad again.” I huffed and folded my arms.

“In what way?”

“I-In every way.”

She sighed. “Alright. I’ll talk to Indigo.”

“M-Mom?”

“What’s up?”

“I d-don’t wanna g-go back to the i-institution!”

“You won’t, I promise. I won’t let you go.”

“T-Thanks.” I murmured.

The waitress delivered our drinks and my hands were shaking as I tried to drink it, probably from the nerves.

“It’s alright bub.” Mom assured.

“I-I’m j-just scared.” I whispered. “I t-thought I h-heard v-voices in the w-walls e-earlier…”

“Do you want some emergency medication?”

I shook my head. “I-It’s not an e-emergency.”

“Alright. Just ask if you want it.”

I nodded and took another sip of my tea.

“Good tea?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“That’s good.” she smiled.

I nodded silently. “I-I’m s-still going to Japan, r-right?”

Sarah nodded. “Of course.”

“G-good. By the way, can June have a ticket? She wants to come.”

“She can chill with us backstage if she wants.”

“Cool.” I grinned.

“You think she’ll like the show?”

“Uh huh. It’ll be awesome.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“When’s Dad coming home?” I asked.

“I don’t know. He shouldn’t be here long.”

“O-Okay, good.” I nodded. “A-Are you g-going to make me s-see Damien?”

She shook her head. “Not if you don’t want to.”

“T-Thanks.”

“It’s alright bub.” 

We finished up and headed back up to see Dad, who seemed a lot calmer.

“Hey little worm.” He smiled.

“Hey Dad.” I smiled back.

“How’s it going?”

“Good.”

“That’s good.” He stated.

“Are you coming home soon?”

He nodded. “I should be.”

I smiled. “Good.”

“It is pretty good.”

“He should be released this afternoon.” Dr Jo nodded.

Dad smiled. “Awesome.”


	31. Chapter 30 - Back To The Music Scene

******* Ryan’s Point of View*******

“It’s good that you’re out of hospital Brendon.” I smiled.

“It’s pretty good to be out.” He admitted, spinning the drum sticks in the air. “Only two weeks to go. God, I’m terrified.”

“So am I.” I nodded. “But it’s a good terrified. It’s going to be amazing Brendon.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I guess so. Kaitlyn’s and Nicole’s passports arrived the other day, we’re all ready to go.”

I smiled. “That’s cool. I took my two to Europe over Christmas so we already had that sorted.”

“Europe? Those are some seriously lucky kids.” Brendon stated.

“Yeah, it was cool. We needed to go somewhere to bond and get to know each other and all, and I asked Waverly where she wanted to go and she said Europe. So that’s where we went.”

“How did you end up with those kids anyway?” He asked, opening his computer. “I mean, I never pictured you as the type of person to do that.”

I shrugged. “It wasn’t planned, not at all. I have a friend who works in child services, and we met up one day just to hang out and they were telling me about Waverly’s case, and how she couldn’t find a placement for her. She’d lived in this one group home as long as she could remember, and she had to move out soon because it was only for children up to 12. But my friend couldn’t find a single home for her, or anywhere at all to put her because nobody wanted her because of her allergies. She’d never, ever had a placement Brendon. Never. She’d never experienced family life. And I dunno, I got heartbroken, and I said I’d take her. And that’s how I got Waverly.”

“What about Morgan?”

“Morgan lived at the same home, he’d only just gotten there. His mother was abusive, and I swear to god Brendon, when I first met him… he was so scared and timid, I felt so bad that I offered to take him too. The other kids were picking on him, and I didn’t want to leave him there. So they both moved in in November of last year. They’re awesome kids, I love them heaps. I don’t think I could imagine life without them now.”

Brendon smiled slightly. “That’s good, I guess. Anyway, have you been talking to Damien?”

“He sent me a few messages on eHarmony…” I froze.

Brendon giggled. “Seriously? You, internet dating?”

“Oh shut up, Wavey signed me up.” I swatted at him playfully. “And why not? I want a boyfriend.”

“Mmm, sure.  _ Wavey _ signed you up.” He sneered.

“Ask her. She threatened to put my profile picture as one from the old days where I wore all that eyeliner.”

“You totally should’ve gone with that. Man, you were so hot.”

“You know it Urie.” I giggled. “Anyway, we took an updated one. Doesn’t look half bad.”

“Well come on, you’ve got to show me now.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled my phone out.

I showed him the picture and he giggled. “Nice.”

“Shut up.” I said, picking my guitar up.

“I wasn’t insulting you or anything. It’s a nice photo.”

“Thanks.” I mumbled. “What do you want to play? I say we just run through the set, to practice for Japan and all.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He affirmed.

“Okay, good.” I murmured. “Let’s start. Victorious is our opening song.”

He nodded and we started.

After playing through the first 5 songs, he turned to me. “I think we’re getting better.”

“You think?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, well, I mean, we’re playing in time, and we sound good.”

“I guess so.”

Brendon smiled. “Good job Ross.”

“Thanks Urie. You too.”

We finished playing through the set and I went to pack up. “You wanna bring the family over tonight to my place?”

“Yeah, sure.” He answered. 

Our packing up was interrupted by Robert. “You two are wanted for an interview, are you busy? It’s Alt Press.”

I nodded. “Okay, yeah. We can do that.”

“Alright, come with me.” He directed.

We followed him through to an office, where there were two people sitting. A man and a woman, both with Alt Press lanyards looped over their necks. The man had a recorder, and the woman had a sheet of questions.

“Hello, I’m Imogen, and this is William. It’s nice to meet you two.”

“Nice to meet you too. I’m assuming you know who we are.”

They nodded. “Take a seat.”

I noticed Brendon looked extremely nervous, and he bobbed his leg up and down in an effort to relieve some of the tension. I gave him a reassuring look, but resisted the urge to take his hand.

“Alright, let’s start with the most prominent question. Ryan, what caused you to come back?”

I chuckled. “I missed it. I missed the life, and I needed a job. And I was still under contract at the label, so it was really easy to just come back. And I love being here, it’s amazing.”

Imogen smiled. “That’s great. Brendon, how do you feel about this?”

“It’s good.” He said a little unsurely. “I mean, I’m not alone anymore, and I have that extra creative input, and it’s been good.”

“Good to know. So you’re going on tour in Japan, is there a reason you’re going there first?”

“Just, family reasons.” Brendon said quickly.

“Ah, I see. Well, both of you have children, correct? Want to tell us about them?”

“How do you know about that?” I asked.

She shrugged. “It's all over the internet.” 

“Gosh, um, let's not talk about them. I don't want them constantly in the public eyes.”

Imogen nodded. “That's fine. So Brendon, it's been said that the reason you were absent from the music scene for so long was because of mental issues, of which ended up with you in an institution, care to elaborate?”

“Are you stalking me?!” He accused, jumping up and slamming his fists on the table.

“Brendon, calm down.” I instructed. “And no, we do  _ not  _ care to elaborate.”

“That's fine.” She assured. “Any plans for a new album?”

“No. I'll be leaving now.” Brendon fumed, storming out of the room.

“Please don’t publish this.” I stated, before following him. “Brendon!”

“Go away!” He screamed.

“What’s going on?” I asked, continuing to follow him. “Brendon, I only want to help you.”

“I know, it’s just…” He stopped. “I don’t know.”

I caught up. “Let’s go back to the studio to talk.”

He sighed, but nodded and followed me.

We got back to the studio and I sat him down. “What was that?”

“I don’t know. I was just getting frustrated and felt violated.”

“That’s understandable. How about no more interviews?”

He nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Good. Wanna play to blow off some steam?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Brendon took the drums and we played LA devotee to blow the steam off. It was actually pretty great.

“Thanks for sticking through that with me Ryan.” He smiled slightly.

“No problem Bren.” I smiled.

smiled. “No problem BRendon.”

“You probably wanna get home now, don’t you?” He mumbled.

I shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“You can go if you want.” He stated. “Your kids probably miss you.”

“Nah, they’re good. Do you want me to leave Brendon?”

He shook his head. “No, not really.”

“Well, then I’ll stay.”

“Thanks.” He smiled slightly.

“What do you want to play now?” I asked.

“You choose. It doesn’t have to be on the setlist.” He shrugged.

“Behind the sea?” I asked hopefully.

“Sure, if you want to.”

I grinned. “Cool.”

We started playing and he messed up a few times, and I saw himself scolding himself for not remembering.

Once we finished the song I turned to him. “You don’t have to beat yourself up, we’re just playing for the heck of it.”

“I know, but I should remember this stuff.”

“It’s been a really long time though Brendon. You’re forgiven, I promise.”

“No, you shouldn’t forgive me. I was here for that album, I shouldn’t have forgotten it. I shouldn’t just forget parts of my career.”

I put a hand on his shoulder. “Brendon, it is fine. Please stop beating yourself up. I can’t remember half the stuff from Fever anyway.”

“I know, I just, I feel like I should remember.”

“Let’s just play another song. Your turn to pick.”

“What about…..Mad as Rabbits?”

“Cool.” I nodded.

We played through the song, and Brendon seemed a bit happier afterwards.

“That was good.” I smiled.

He nodded. “It was.”

His phone started ringing and he answered it.

“Hey Sarah.”

“No, seriously?”

“Is it really that bad?”

“Alright, I’m coming. See you soon.”

He turned back to me. “Kaitlyn’s in a meltdown, I’ve got to go.”

I nodded. “Do what you have to do. Hopefully she’ll be okay.”

He gave me a half smile and packed up his stuff. “I’ll call you about if we’re still on for tonight.”

“Of course. Don’t worry too much about it.”

“Okay. Bye Ryan.”

“Bye Brendon.”

He left, leaving me alone in the recording studio.

I looked around for a little while before deciding to mess around. 

******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

“I’m home!” I called as I walked through the front door, dropping my bags and walking through to go and find Sarah.

I heard sobs before I actually found Sarah.

She sighed. “Kaitlyn, I can’t help you when you’re hiding from me. Come on bub, I want to help you.”

“Y-You cant!”

“What about me little worm?” I asked.

“N-No one can h-help me now.”

I sighed. “Sarah, what’s going on?”

“Apparently there’s people in the walls who want to kill her? I don’t know. Supposedly they can’t get to her in the closet, so she’s hiding, and has somewhat taped the door closed.”

“H-how can’t you see them? They’re everywhere! Y-You aren’t safe!” She cried.

“Let us in, and then we can be safe too.” I tried.

“Th-there’s only room for one o-of you.” She wept.

“I’ll come.” I said. “Let me in little worm.”

The door opened slightly.

I smiled and climbed in. She put the tape back up, so it was pitch black. The only sound was her heavy breathing.

She ended up curling up and crying.

“What’s wrong little worm?” I asked.

“I-I’m really scared Dad.”

“Why?”

“B-Because I don’t know w-what’s happening to me.”

“Well, what’s going on?” I asked, trying to move around to get closer to her.

“Th-the voices, they a-arent just voices, th-they’re real people. A-and they’re trying to hurt me.”

“How?” I asked.

“Th-they’re trying to pull me into the walls with them.” She sniffled. “M-Maybe I need to be i-in an institution.”

“No, no, it’s okay little worm. Let’s go get some medication, and we’ll see what happens.”

She nodded unsurely and clung to me as we got out.

Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. “Hey bub.”

“H-Hey.” She whimpered.

I took her hand and led her to the kitchen. Her eyes were darting around the room in panic, and she kept tapping nervously on the bench.

“D-Dad I n-need to g-go back t-to the c-cupboard…”

“Just have your medication first, okay?”

“O-Okay.” She murmured.

I gave her the medication and she took it before clinging back onto me.

“It’s okay little worm.” I assured.

“D-Doesn’t feel like it.”

“I promise, nobody’s going to suck you into the wall.”

“C-Can I h-have a hug?”

“Course.” I nodded, hugging her tightly.

“Th-they don’t l-like it when I’m with you.”

“They’re stupid.” I responded.

She nodded. “They are.”

“Are they going away yet?”

She shook her head. “N-Nope. T-They’re j-just getting l-louder. But y-you’ll p-protect me, r-right?”

I nodded. “Of course little worm.”

“T-Thanks.” She mumbled, still clinging onto me.

“It’s alright.”

All of a sudden she shrieked in terror and tightened her grip.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“D-Dad t-they’re e-everywhere!” She cried.

“You’re okay little worm. I’ll protect you.”

She clung to me and cried in desperation. Sarah sighed. “I’m going to call Indigo.”

I nodded and kept trying to soothe her.

“Is it getting better?” I asked hopefully.

She shook her head.

“That’s alright.” I sighed.

Sarah came back in. “Alright bub, We’re going to see Indigo. Nicole! Get your shoes!”

Kaitlyn nodded glumly and still wavered by my side.

Nicole frowned. “Can’t I just stay here?”

“Nope.” Sarah responded, grabbing her bag. “Let’s go.”

We went to Indigo’s office, and I had to sit in the back because Kaitlyn wouldn’t leave my side.

“D-Dad, t-they f-followed us.” She whimpered.

“It’s alright, you’re safe here.”

She shrieked again and snuggled further into me.

When we got to the office, I went in with Kaitlyn, because she wouldn’t go in otherwise.

Indigo took one look at Kaitlyn and realised it was serious. “Come in, sit down.”

“A-Are they in there?”

“No, no, come in.” I coaxed, sitting down on the couch.

“Y-You lied!” She cried, burying her face in my chest.

“I’m sorry little worm.” I apologised. “I just… you need to talk this out or it’s not going to go away.”

“I-I want it to go away! What do I have to say?”

Indigo grabbed a notepad. “Alright, what’s going on kiddo?”

“Th-they aren’t just voices, they’re p-people and they’re trying to p-pull me into the w-walls with them!”

“Oh… alright. Uh… oh dear kiddo…”

“W-What?!” She wept.

“I… uh… “She went to the bookshelf and flicked through a book, before frowning. “Uh… okay. So these people are the ones who were the voices?”

“I-I think so?”

“And what about June?”

Kaitlyn froze before bursting into tears again.

“What’s going on with June, Kaitlyn?”

“S-She…” She tried to stammer. “S-She…”

“Please kiddo, I need to know so I can help.”

“S-She h-hit m-me!” Kaitlyn cried. “I-It hurt s-so bad!”

Indigo frowned. “Okay, when did she hit you?”

“T-This m-morning… and a-again at l-lunch…”

“Why’d she hit you?”

“B-Because I s-said that I d-didn’t wanna k-kiss her but s-she kept t-trying t-to make m-me do it!”

“Okay.” Indigo sighed. “I, um…. Give me a few minutes.”

Kaitlyn hesitantly nodded and buried her face in my neck.

Indigo read through a few books, and looked at some stuff on her computer.

“A-Am I g-going back t-to the i-institution?” Kaitlyn whimpered.

Indigo grimaced. “Maybe kiddo. Maybe.”

Kaitlyn nodded tearfully.

“Are there any alternatives?” I asked hopefully. “I mean, we’re going to Japan in two weeks.”

“I’m looking now.”

“Y-You’re j-just gonna h-have to go without m-me.” Kaitlyn whispered. “I-It’s okay.”

“No, I’m not going without you.”

“Y-You s-should…”

“Nope. The fans can be disappointed if they have to be.”

She started crying. “T-Then i-it’ll all b-be my fault! Y-You should j-just go!”

“Not without you.” I whispered.

“Y-Yes, p-please!” She pleaded.

“We can try ECT. I don’t know if it’ll work, but…”

Kaitlyn started shaking. “N-No, p-please!”

“It might help you kiddo.”

“Y-Yeah, but, e-electricity!”

“It’s alright little worm. It doesn’t hurt, don’t worry.”

“I-I’m s-still s-scared!”

Indigo sighed. “Alright, this is probably our best option, so that’s what we’re going to do. I’ll call an ambulance, and you can just stay in the hospital for a few days until you get it together, okay kiddo?”

“I-I’m scared, b-but you promise i-it’ll help?”

“I promise.”

“O-Okay…”

Indigo called the ambulance, and I walked out to go tell Sarah what was happening.

Sarah sighed. “Alright…”

The paramedics arrived, and Kaitlyn was now shaking in terror.

“It’s okay bub.” Sarah promised. “It’s going to be okay.”

“I-I’m so scared!” She whimpered.

“It’s going to be okay.” Sarah repeated. “Don’t be scared bub. We’re coming with you.”

“O-Okay…” She whispered shakily.

The paramedics talked to her for a little bit, before putting her in the ambulance. She was still trembling, and I could tell another panic attack was coming on.

“Who’s coming with us?” The paramedic asked, looking at me and Sarah.

“I will.” I volunteered.

“Alright, come on, let’s go.”

I got in and continued trying to soothe Kaitlyn.

“D-Dad I-I’m s-scared!” She panicked.

“It’ll be alright little worm, I promise. You’ll be okay.”

She was shaking badly. “T-They’re h-here D-Dad!”

“It’s okay.” I took her hand. “They should go away soon.”

“T-They’re c-coming!” She screamed.

“It’s okay! It’s okay!” I assured, squeezing her hand. 

We arrived at the hospital, and the paramedics rushed her in, with her still screaming.

I tried to keep up, and broke into a jog. At one point, they took her through a door, and told me I wasn’t allowed any further.

I took a deep breath in and leaned against the wall.

Sarah and Nicole arrived a bit after. “How is she?”

“Not great, when I last saw her.”

“Oh god… this really isn’t timed well…”

“No, not really.” I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

“Where is she now?” Nicole asked.

“In there.” I shrugged, pointed to the door she was taken through.

“Can we see her?”

“Not yet, I don’t think.”

“Aww.”

So we sat in the waiting room until we were allowed to see her.

At about 6, a doctor came out and told us to go home, because we weren’t going to be able to see her until tomorrow.

We all glumly nodded before leaving the hospital.

“She’ll be out in time to go to Japan, right Dad?” Nicole asked me on the drive home.

“I hope so.” I nodded.


	32. Chapter 31 - The Urie’s and Ross’s Hit Japan!

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

“I’m so glad you made it out in time to go to Japan, Kaitlyn.” I smiled, zipping up my suitcase.

She smiled. “M-Me too.”

I pushed my glasses up and went through my carry-on again. iPad, book, medication, headphones, passport, plane tickets, everything you’d need for a flight.

“A-are you excited?” She asked.

I nodded. “It’s going to be the best thing ever. And I got the rest of the money from my dog walking, so we can bring back all the weird candy!”

Kaitlyn smiled. “That’s awesome.”

“Do you have everything packed?” I asked.

She nodded. “I think so…”

Sarah walked in. “The taxi’s here to take us to the airport girls. Grab your things, we’re going to Japan!”

I grinned and grabbed my bags, before walking out to the taxi. Kaitlyn followed behind quietly.

Brendon had all his instruments coming with us, and we only just fit everything in the taxi. 

“All good?” Brendon asked.

“Yep!” I grinned.

When we arrived at the airport, we met up with Ryan, Waverly and Morgan. Everyone was excited, there was this aura going around. We checked all the instruments and suitcases in, and were given our boarding passes.

“You didn’t tell me we were in business class!”

Brendon chuckled. “Yeah, just a little something special. It’ll be a long flight, we may as well be comfortable.”

I grinned. “You’re the best.”

“I don’t know about the  _ best. _ ”

“The  _ very  _ best.”

He smiled. “Well, thanks.”

“Can we get a donut, Daddy number two?” Morgan asked.

“Have you asked Daddy number 1?”

“Not yet. Dadddddddyyyyyyyyy!”

Ryan came over. “What’s up Morgie?”

“Can we get a donut?”

“After we get through customs bud.”

Morgan whined. “But that’s gonna take  _ ages _ Daddy!”

“I know. But we have to do it.”

“Whyyyyyyyyyy?”

“So they can put a stamp in your passport.”

“I like stamps.” He smiled.

We proceeded through customs and got to the gates, and we got Morgan a donut.

“I love donuts.” Morgan mumbled between bites.

“I can see that.” I smiled.

“I like planes.” Morgan chirped.

“I’ve never been on one before.” I said nervously.

“They’re awesome!”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I slept through the plane trips though…” He murmured.

“That’s okay. We might do that again.” Ryan assured.

Morgan nodded. “Okay.”

We hung around at the gate for a bit, before we were called for boarding.

“Daddy, my legs are sore!” Morgan whined.

“We’ll be on the plane in a minute.” Ryan assured.

“But they hurt lots!”

We got to the row, and I took the window seat. Brendon sat next to me, and Sarah and Kaitlyn were in the middle row. Ryan, Morgan and Waverly were behind us.

“This is boring already Daddy!”

“You can play some games on my iPad bud.” He offered, passing it over.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

_ Welcome aboard our flight to Tokyo today. Please turn your attention to the screens for our safety demonstration. _

I watched the screen, and all the hypothetical scenarios made me slightly nervous.

Brendon took my hand. “This is going to be the best holiday ever.”

“Yeah, I hope so.” I smiled slightly.

We started going along the runway and I had my head glued to the window for the entire thing.

“It’s cool, isn’t it?” Brendon asked.

“So cool.” I nodded.

Brendon put his headphones in and laid back.

The plane started to take off, and I grinned with excitement. This was going to be the best.

\----------------------------------------------------------

“We have landed in Tokyo! Thank you for flying with us today, and we hope to see you again soon.”

I shook Dad awake. “We’re here!”

He woke up with a snort. “Really?”

I giggled and nodded. “Yep!”

He smiled. “Awesome!”

We started getting ready to leave, and followed the crowd out of the plane.

“We made it bub!” Sarah smiled.

I nodded. “Yeah, we did.”

We went through customs again and met up with the people from the label, who drove us to the hotel. It was massive, and so, incredibly awesome.

“Man, they really outdid themselves this time.” Brendon grinned.

I couldn’t stop smiling. “This is amazing! Let’s go check in!”

We checked into the hotel and all went up to our rooms. The rooms were separated into small apartments almost and we had separate bedrooms that were huge.

“This is awesome.” I grinned, flopping onto the mattress.

Kaitlyn nodded. “It is.”

Ryan and co. came and joined us, and Morgan crawled up onto my bed. “This is HUGE!”

I nodded. “It is very big.”

“It’s even bigger than Daddy’s bed at home! It’s HUGE!”

Ryan came in to check on Morgan and chuckled. 

“You enjoying yourself?” He asked.

“Look at how BIG this bed is!”

He nodded and laid down beside him. “It’s very, very big, isn’t it?”

“It’s very big.” He nodded.

“It’s comfy though.” Ryan smiled.

“Uh huh. Can we stay in a big bed too?”

“Sure bud.” Ryan nodded.

“Well we best be going to our room. We’ll be over soon.” Ryan said, scooping Morgan up in his arms.

“But I wanna stay here Daddy!” Morgan protested.

“We’ll come back, we just can't leave all our stuff at Brendon's room, okay?”

“Awww.” Morgan pouted.

“It’ll be quick, I promise.”

He frowned and got off my bed.

Ryan, Morgan and Waverly all went to their rooms, leaving us alone for a little while.

“This is c-cool.” Kaitlyn smiled, looking around.

I nodded. “It is. I love it.”

“I’m glad Nikki.” Dad smiled.

“What do you think Dad?”

“This is awesome.” He grinned. “Want to go look around the hotel?”

I nodded and jumped up.

“Sarah! We’re going for a walk!” He called. “We’re taking the room key!”

“Okay, stay safe.” She smiled.

“Wanna come little worm?” He offered.

She nodded. “Sure.”

We left the room and wandered down to the bottom floor, where all the fun was. We found a ping pong table, and started to play.

“I’m am so gonna beat you Nicole.” Dad said.

“Oh, it’s on.” I challenged with a grin.

The entire game was tied, until the end where I managed to overtake Dad in the final serve.

“Dammit!” He giggled. “Well done Nik.”

“I am the ping pong master!” I grinned.

Kaitlyn giggled. “You are.”

“Let’s just go see what’s around.” Dad said.

“I think there was a pool…” Kaitlyn murmured.

“Wanna go for a swim?”

“You guys can.”

“Okay.” He shrugged. “Let’s get changed.

We went back up to the room and I put my swimmers on. Dad did too, Kaitlyn just sat quietly in the corner.

“You sure little worm?”

“Uh huh.” She murmured.

“Alright. You can hang here with Sarah and Ryan and company.”

“Okay.”

Dad and I headed down to the pool and it was kinda cold. I was hesitant getting in, but Dad splashed me with a huge wave of water.

“Meanie!” I giggled, before bomb diving right next to him.

He faked disbelief before splashing me again.

I giggled and splashed him back.

“This is gonna go on forever if we don’t stop now.” He chuckled.

“True.” I nodded, splashing him again.

“Nicole..” He fake scolded. 

“Yes Dad?” I answered casually.

“I brought you all the way to Japan, and this is how you repay me?” He laughed, picking me up and dragging me to the other end of the pool.

I giggled. “Yep!”

“So naughty.”

“You’re not so innocent yourself, you did start it.” I laughed. “I mean, I learn from you Dad.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You splashed me first!”

“You weren’t getting in!” He argued. “I was helping!”

“You still started it!” I giggled, before swimming under the surface of the water and popping up behind him.

“You are so sneaky Nicole Urie.”

“I learn from you Brendon.”

“I’m glad.” He beamed.

I giggled. “Me too.”

“You enjoying yourself so far?” He asked.

“It’s amazing.” I nodded.

“I’m glad.”

“Me too. Thank you so much Dad.’

“It’s fine Nikki.”

******* Ryan’s Point of View *******

“Where’d Brendon go?” I asked.

Sarah shrugged. “He and Nicole went down to the pool. You can go and join them if you want.”

I shook my head. “Nah. One of mine has a fear of water, the other has a chlorine allergy. Pools aren’t our thing.”

“I see….” She murmured.

“That’s okay. You can hang with us.” Kaitlyn smiled warmly.

“I can, and I'm very lucky for that. I like being with you little Urie.”

She blushed and giggled.

“Are you enjoying yourself so far?” I asked.

She shrugged. “All I’ve done is get off the plane and get to the hotel, but that’s been pretty good, so I’m going to say yes.”

I smiled. “That's good to hear.”

Waverly came and sat with us. “Hey Dad.”

“Hey Waves, how are you?”

“Good.” She shrugged. “Can I take this stupid thing off now? I mean, we’re just in the room.” She gestured to the epi pen.

“Sure, just don't lose it.”

“Oh thank god.” She murmured, placing it on the coffee table. “It’s annoying as heck.”

“I know sweetie, but it's to keep you safe.”

“I know.” She mumbled.

“Where's Morgan?”

“In the bedroom. I think he’s in love with the bed.”

“Ah, okay.”

Sarah looked a little saddened for a moment.

“What's up Sarah?”’

“Oh… I just… I miss having little kids around.”

“Have you had the girls for a long time?” I asked.

“Just a bit longer than you’ve had your kids.”

“Why do you miss having little kids around then?”

“Did Brendon tell you what happened?”

“He hasn't said much about his personal life.”

“I, um, I had a miscarriage.”

“Oh, I'm so sorry Sarah.”

“It’s okay.” She murmured. “It’s not your fault. It was mine.”

I shook my head. “I doubt it. But I'm sorry that happened. It's awful.”

“His name was Parker.” She whispered. “Parker Damien Urie. He was born at 5 months. Still.”

I frowned. “It's a very nice name though.”

Kaitlyn brought Sarah a glass of water and rubbed her hand. “It’s okay Mom.”

“Thanks Bub.” Sarah breathed.

“Well, you can borrow Morgan if you want.” Waverly offered.

“He's too much like Jax.” She whispered.

“Jax?” I echoed.

“N-Nicole's y-younger brother.” She sniffled.

“Oh… where’s he then?”

“He uh h-he passed away.”

“Oh… I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It's not your fault…” She whispered, getting up and going to her room.

I bit my lip. “Sorry Sarah.”

She didn't respond as she locked her door.

“Must be a sore subject.” Waverly stated.

Kaitlyn nodded. “It is for all of us. We all felt like it was our responsibility to save Jaxon.” She whispered.

“Oh. Well, how about we try not to think about it? It’s our holiday, we should try and enjoy it.”

She nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Okay, cool. When Brendon and Nicole get back, how about we all go for a walk to the shops over the road?’

Kaitlyn nodded. “Good idea.”

“Groovy.” Waverly agreed.

Brendon and Nicole came back soon after and got changed before we all headed out.

Sarah and Brendon held hands, and Sarah seemed to be comforted greatly by his company. I felt bad, I had hated her for so long without reason, and she was actually quite a nice person.

We walked through the shops and all found some cool things. I also flamed around at all the happy couples, and was consumed by jealousy.

“Why so glum Dad?” Waverly asked, taking my hand and swinging it back and forth between us.

“Nothing new.” I mumbled.

“Hmm. What can I do to make it better?”

I shrugged. “I don't know.”

She pointed to a store. “Let’s go look in here.”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

We walked around and she giggled. “Look Dad! This is so you!”

I rolled my eyes. “It's so not.”

“It so is!” She grinned, putting the hat on my head. “It’s your colour and everything! Doesn’t he look good Morgie?”

Morgan smiled and nodded. “It looks awesome Daddy!”

I took it off and put it on the shelf. “It’s okay, not my thing. Let’s keep going.”

Waverly grabbed it before following me throughout the rest of the store.

“Daddy, can I get this one?” Morgan asked, holding up a plush toy.

“Yeah, sure Morgie.”

He grinned and giggled.

I paid for the toy and for the hat begrudgingly before we left the store.

Waverly put the hat on my head. “There. Better.”

“What is with you and this hat?”

“I just think it looks good on you Dad.”

“If you say so.”

“Want to get some lunch?” Brendon asked the group.

Morgan nodded. “I'm so hungry!”

We sat down at the food court, and I noticed Waverly was being a little more fidgety than normal.

“What's wrong Waves?”

“I, uh, I may have left the epi pen in Sarah’s room…”

I sighed. “We’ll have to go get it then.”

“I-I’ll be okay?” She asked. “I mean, it’s so far away, and I promise I won’t eat anything!”

“I don't want anything to happen to you sweetie.”

“Nothing will! I won’t eat anything, and I’ll be fine.”

“Alright, but as soon as you start feeling bad, you tell me, okay?”

She nodded. “Of course.”

I kept an eye on Waverly to make sure she'd be okay.

“Daddy, I’m hungry.” Morgan tugged on my shirt.

“I know Morgie, just, wait a little while.”

He frowned. “But I’m hungry  _ now  _ Dad!”

“Fine, let’s go get something.”

“Awesome!” Morgan grinned, taking my hand.

“What do you feel like?” I asked.

“Sushi?” He questioned. “You said in Japan we’d eat lots of sushi!”

“Alright, but what  _ type _ of sushi?”

He thought about it. “The one you always get me?”

“Okay.” I smiled slightly. We walked into a small store and ordered some sushi. Morgan was quickly becoming impatient.

“Is it ready Daddy?” He asked. “I’m really hungry!”

“It’ll be ready soon.” I assured.

He pouted. 

“You’ve been really good with waiting so far though Morgie.”

He walked up to the woman at the server desk. “Is it ready?”

“Matsu.” She stated simply before disappearing again.

Morgan frowned. “Daddy, she doesn’t speak right.”

“No, no, it’s just a different language Morgie. Like, we speak English, and the people here speak Japanese.”

“That’s weird.”

“It’s not weird bud. There’s lots of different languages, and they all sound different.”

“Oh… is the sushi ready now?”

“Raian kun?” The lady called out.

I smiled and took the sushi, before heading back to the table. Morgan grinned as I placed it in front of him.

Waverly glanced over at Brendon’s food. “That smells really good.”

Brendon nodded. “Yeah, it does.”

“Can I-”

“No.” I answered before she could even finish. “No.”

She frowned. “Okay.”

“What about just some of the rice?” Brendon offered. “I didn’t see rice on your list thing.”

“We don’t know what’s in it Brendon.” I responded. “There might be a vinegar or something, and she doesn’t have the epi pen. No chances. There’s no room for chances.”

He sighed, but nodded. Waverly just remained silent.

“Sorry sweetie.” I added.

“It’s not your fault…” She mumbled.

“This tastes good Daddy!” Morgan giggled.

I nodded. “I’m sure it does.”

“I’m going to look in some shop.” Waverly muttered, getting up from her seat.

“Don’t go too far.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

She wandered off into a small store and I ate my sushi.

“What’s up with her?” Kaitlyn asked.

“She’s angry at me because I won’t let her eat anything because of her allergies.”

“Shouldn’t she know though?”

“She knows, she just wishes it wasn’t true, and she likes to take risks.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…” 

Kaitlyn pushed away her hardly-touched meal, before going off to find her.

Brendon sighed. “Now she’s not eating.”

“I thought she didn’t eat much anyway.” I shrugged.

“Yeah, we’re trying to get her to eat more.”

“Is she going okay?”

“Her progress fluctuates.” 

“Oh, okay.”

“I’ll be back.” He sighed.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“To get her.”

I got up. “I need to talk to Wavey. Morgie, stay with Sarah, okay?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

Brendon and I went to the shop where Kaitlyn and Waverly were at. We found them trying on silly looking hats.

“These are awesome!” He grinned, racing over.

I smiled. “This looks cool girls.”

Brendon picked up a top hat. “I need this.”

I giggled. “No, you need this one.” I put the squid hat onto his head.

He chuckled. “I want them all.”

Waverly put an ice cream hat onto my head. “Now, this really suits you Dad.”

I smiled. “I love it.”

Brendon put a very fluffy yellow hat on Kaitlyn’s head. “Very suiting, little worm.”

“It feels like a guinea pig.” She giggled.

“Well, little guinea pig, we’re all getting silly hats. Hmm…” He put a monkey hat on Waverly’s head. “There.”

“This one’s cool.” She smiled.

We picked out some hats for Sarah, Nicole and Morgan before checking out and heading back to the table. Nicole saw us and burst out laughing.

We all gave them their hats. “We can all look stupid together.”

Sarah giggled. “This is cool.”

Brendon nodded. “It’ll probably draw attention to us, but whatever.”

It was true, we were getting quite a few stares, but also quite a few smiles.

A few people were even taking pictures and telling us we were all adorable together.

Kaitlyn was giggling the whole time, and Waverly seemed much happier too.

We walked through lots of stores and found lots of cute, touristy items.

Morgan yawned. “I’m tired Daddy! The time is all weird and I wanna go to bed now.”

“Okay, we’ll start heading back. Come on Waverly.”

She nodded. “I’m pretty tired too. Stupid jetlag.”

“C-Can I go with them?” Kaitlyn asked Sarah.

Sarah nodded. “Sure. Just call us if you need anything, okay bub?”

“Okay.” She nodded, coming over to my side.

“Let’s go little Urie.”

She half-smiled and we left the center, heading back to the hotel.

Once we got back, Kaitlyn went into her room.

“Alright, let’s get you fed Waves.”

Waverly’s face fell.

“I know you hate it sweetie, but we have to.” 

“Hate is an understatement.” She muttered.

I sighed and started setting everything up.

Morgan walked out. “I’m gonna go sleep now Daddy.”

I nodded. “Sleep tight Morgie. If you want, I’ll come in in a little bit and tuck you in.”

He nodded and disappeared to the bedroom.

“Alright, come here Waves.”

She frowned glumly and sat on the couch, rolling her shirt up to the regular spot.

I connected the tubes and sat down beside her for a little while.

“This is really horrible.” She murmured.

“I know, I’m sorry Waves.”

“Did you do it right? It’s really hurting.”

I lifted her shirt up a bit and noticed I’d messed it up ever so slightly. I sighed. 

“This might hurt, so sorry in advance.”

She bit her lip and winced the whole time as I fixed it up.

“I’m sorry sweetie. It’s all fixed now.”

“T-Thanks.” She whispered, sitting down.

“I'm sorry we have to do it this way.”

“I-It’s okay.” She murmured. “It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but I feel really bad.”

“You shouldn’t. You’ve done so much for me anyhow.”

I shrugged. “Not really.”

“Yeah really. You saved me.”

I smiled. “That’s good to hear. I love you so much Waves.”

“I love you too Dad.” She smiled, snuggling into me. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“You’re the best thing to ever happen to me Waves.”

“You said you’d come in!” Morgan accused from the doorway.

“I’m coming, I’m coming Morgie.”

He stomped his foot before going back to the bedroom.

I raced into the bedroom and wrapped him in a hug before tucking him in. “Want me to sing?”

He nodded.

“What song?”

“The one about the marching clocks.”

“Behind the sea?”

“Uh huh.”

“ _ A daydream spills from my corked head, breaks free of my wooden neck... _ ”

Morgan smiled. “Thanks Daddy.”

“It’s okay.” I smiled.

“You can go back out to Wavey now.”

“You all good?”

He nodded.

“Goodnight Morgie.”

“Night Daddy.”

I smiled and turned the lights off before leaving.

When I got back, Waverly was on my phone. “Dad! You have a new match!”

I sighed. “Why are you on my phone?”

“Dating, silly. I knew you weren’t going to look at it, so I figured I would. His name is Dallon Weekes and I think you’re gonna love him.”

“Alright, let me see.” 

She passed me my phone and I read through his profile. “He’s okay, I guess.”

“I started talking to him.”

“What?!”

“He seems nice.”

I flicked through the conversation. “Waverly Rachel Ross!”

“What?! Apparently he knows Brendon.”

“I know that! Goddammit. At least you admitted it was you.”

“I’m sorry Dad.” She frowned.

“I gotta fix this.” I murmured.

She left to go into her bedroom in silence.

“Wavey, come back.” I sighed, grabbing the metal stand she was pulling with her.

She stopped and sighed before sitting down on the floor.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Trying to not annoy you anymore.”

“Huh? You’re not annoying me sweetie. Come on, come back to the couch and sit down. Maybe I’ll talk to Dallon for a bit. But not now, it’s 2am at home.”

She nodded unsurely and sat quietly beside me.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” I asked.

“I’m sorry for talking to Dallon.”

“No, no, it’s okay.” I assured. “You were just looking out for me.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“Please don’t worry about it Waves.” I asked.

She sighed and snuggled up to me on the couch.

“Are you excited for tomorrow?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I guess so.” 

I smiled slightly before my phone went off. 

_ Brendon: I’m going to the airport with one of the FBR reps to pick up the rest of the band. Sarah and Nicole are heading back to the hotel now. _

_ Ryan: Okay, cool. _

_ Brendon: See you later. _

“You still love him, don’t you?” Wavey mumbled.

“I guess so…” I mumbled.

“That’s why I keep trying to convince you to find someone else. If you keep doing this, it’s going to make you so miserable.”

“I already am miserable Waverly. Nothing is going to change that.”

“I don’t know what to do with you Dad.”

“Why don’t you just give up on me like everyone else?! It’s obviously not hard! JUST GIVE UP!”

She winced. “P-Please d-don’t yell at me.”

“I’m sorry.” I sighed.

“I just want you to be happy.” She mumbled.

“I know, I don’t know if you can help though.”

She wiggled the bag and sighed. “Why does this take so long?”

“I don’t know.” I murmured.

“I’d say to get a bigger tube but that means a bigger needle and that means more pain.” She sighed.

“It’s the only way we can do it though.” I sighed.

She sighed and snuggled into me. “I don’t know why you signed up for this.”

“Because I love you Waves.”

“But you didn’t even know me when you met me, and you signed up for all this. Like seriously, why?”

“I felt bad for you Waverly, and I still do.”

“Oh.”

“But now I love you so, so much.”

She smiled slightly. “I love you too Dad.”

“And now we’re in Japan.” I chuckled. “This is madness.”

“Yeah, it is.” She nodded. “But it’s good madness. Like the crazy hats.”

I nodded. “Like crazy hats.” I smiled.

She giggled and hugged me. “You’re the best.”

“You too Waves.”

There was a slight knock at the door and I went to answer it. “Oh, hello little Urie. Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I-I’m really scared.”

“Why?”

“I-I can’t find my emergency medication….”

“Oh, come in. Let’s just try and talk it out.”

She nodded unsurely and sat down on the couch. She had started shaking.

“What’s going on little Urie?” I asked, sitting down beside her.

“V-Voices, and then the faces, and I-I’m just scared.” She whimpered, burying her face in her knees.

I put an arm around her. “It’s okay sweetie. They’re not real.”

“I-I know, but they’re still there!”

I just hugged her as she cried. Waverly was silent.

“I h-hate them.”

“I know.” I sighed.

“W-Where’s Mommy?”

“She’s coming.” I assured. 

“I-I need her.”

“She’s coming.” I repeated. “She’s coming.”

She curled up in my arms and sobbed, her face buried in my shoulder.

I gently stroked her hair. “It’s okay sweetie.”

“I-It’s so scary.” She whispered.

“Shh. It’s okay.”

“It d-doesn’t feel okay.”

Eventually Sarah arrived, and rushed to Kaitlyn’s aid.

“I-I’m scared Mom!”

“I know. Come on, here’s your medication.”

She took the medication before retreating back to me and curling up in my arms.

Sarah sighed and sat down on the couch. “So how are you Waverly?”

“I’m not horrible?”

“That’s good, I guess.”

She nodded. “I suppose so.”

Kaitlyn was quietly settling down, and pulled away. “S-Sorry…”

“It’s alright little Urie. You feeling better?”

She nodded silently.

“That’s good.” I smiled.

“Dad, I think it’s done.” Waverly murmured.

I helped her disconnect everything and she laid on the couch with us for a while longer.

“Ugh. I don’t feel so good.” She murmured.

“Why’s that?”

“Stomachache.” She groaned, getting up and walking to the bathroom.

Sarah went back to meet with Brendon in their room.

“You okay little Urie?” I asked again.

“I-I guess?”

“That’s good.”

She nodded slightly.

“Daddy, I’m bored!” Morgan complained coming out of the room.

“What do you want to do then Morgie?” I asked.

“I don’t know!”

“Well, Wavey’s not feeling great, so let’s just stay in the room.”

He pouted. “Fine.”

“Do you want some milk?”

“Yes please!”

I poured him a glass and handed it to him. “Here bud.”

“Thanks Daddy.”

“Don’t spill it though.” I warned.

“I’ll try not to.” He assured.

I nodded, and went and sat down next to Waverly.

He sipped on the drink and gripped it tightly in his hands.

“Come here bud.” I patted the spot beside me.

“I don’t wanna drop it!” He said, his eyes fixated on the cup.

I gently took it out of his hands and gestured for him to sit down, before I returned it.

“Thank you Daddy.”

“No problem Morgan.”

He kept sipping the drink, and accidentally spilt some on his lap, before bursting into tears.

“Oh, bud, it’s okay.” I assured, taking it and putting it on the coffee table. “It’s okay.”

“I didn’t mean to spill it!” He cried.

“It’s okay bud. Everyone has accidents.” I assured. “Come on, let’s go get you some new pants.”

“Okay.” He sniffled.

I got him changed and we sat in the lounge room, watching some Japanese game shows with subtitles.

“These shows are really weird Daddy.”

“Yeah, they are.” I chuckled.

Brendon came back after about 2 hours and knocked on the door. “I come bearing band members!” He called.

I stood up and answered the door. “Hello Brendon, and band members.”

“Hello Ryan.” Spencer answered. “Good to see you again.”

“Hey Spence.” I smiled. “Come in, meet the gang. Wavey! Morgan!”

Morgan raced to the door and Waverly trudged from the bathroom.

“Morgie, this is Spencer, Jesse, Matt, and Tyson.”

He looked at them, gulped, and ran to me, snuggling his face into my knees.

“Sorry, he’s uh… shy.” I apologised.

“Yeah, that’s okay.” Spencer assured, bending down to Morgan’s level.

“What’s up little man?” He asked.

Morgan peeked his head out a little bit, still holding onto my leg.

“You’re very cute.” Spencer smiled. 

I noticed Morgan blushing slightly. He hesitantly unwrapped himself from me and stumbled over to Spencer. “Cuddles?” Morgan asked.

Spencer chuckled and nodded, wrapping Morgan in a light hug.

“And this is Waverly.” I introduced, putting an arm around her.

“Hi.” She murmured, rubbing her eyes.

Spencer smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.”

“Enough talk! Let’s go get food!” Brendon laughed.

I sighed and went to help Morgan get changed and ready.

“Daddy?” He asked.

“Yeah? What’s up Morgie?”

“I don’t wanna go out with them. I just wanna stay here and watch cartoons.”

“Why don’t you wanna go out?”

“Because there’s too many of them.” He answered. “And one of them sorta looks like my mean Daddy.”

“Hm… well we’re going to be hanging out with them lots Morgie.”

He shuddered. “N-no thank you.”

“It’ll be alright Morgie. I’ll be here the whole time.”

He frowned at me. “B-But I d-don’t wanna…”

“Which one looks like your mean Daddy Morgan?”

“The one with the hair.”

I sighed. “That doesn’t help Morgie.”

“The one that had a beard.”

“Alright.” I sighed. “I can’t do much about that though bud.”

“B-But you s-said that you’d p-protect me Daddy!”

“I am, I won’t leave you alone Morgan.’

He snuggled into me. “J-Just d-don’t let him h-hurt me.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.” I assured.

We went back out and Morgan wouldn’t speak to any of them, and made me carry him until we got down to the restaurant.

“Why are you so quiet Morgan?” Spencer asked.

He pointed at Jesse and pressed his head into my shoulder.

Spencer chuckled. “He is a bit scary. But it’s okay, he won’t hurt you. He’s really nice.”

“I-I d-don’t wanna.” He mumbled, not moving from his spot.

“That’s alright.” Spencer assured.

“What do you want to eat bud?” I asked.

“N-Nothing.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, trying to peel him off me and into the chair next to me.

He whimpered and clung on tight. “I-I’m sure.”

I sighed. “Alright.”

“Are you sure little guy?” Jesse asked.

He started crying and nodded.

I gently rubbed his back. “He’s a bit freaked out by you Jesse.”

“Oh, I’m sorry…”

“It’s not your fault.” I sighed. “He’ll warm up to you… hopefully.”

“I wanna go home.” Morgan whimpered.

I sighed and gently patted his back. “Bud, it’s okay.”

“I-I’m really scared.” He whispered, grabbing onto my back

“You don’t have to be.” I assured.

“Should I just move to the other end of the table?” Jesse asked.

I shook my head. “It’ll be fine.”

“C-Can I g-go to the bathroom Daddy?”

“Sure bud.” I nodded, standing up and heading to the bathroom

“I-I don’t like that man.” He whispered. “H-He looks and sounds l-like my old Daddy.”

“He’s not bud.” I assured. “That’s Jesse. He’s a member of the band.”

“H-He really scares me Daddy!” Morgan cried.

I sighed. “What would make it better?”

“I-I don’t know!”

“Would it be better if I got him to shave?”

“M-Maybe? I-I’m not sure.” 

“Alright.” I sighed. “Wash your hands and we’ll get Wavey and go back to the room.

He stood up on his tiptoes to wash his hands, his head not reaching above the basin.

“There! All clean!” He smiled, showing me his hands.

“Good job bud.” I praised. 

He clambered back into my arms and rested his head back on my shoulder. “You’re comfy Daddy.”

“That’s good bud. Let’s go find your sister.”

We went out and found Waverly. I apologised to everyone before we left for the hotel.

“Sorry for making you leave Daddy…” Morgan mumbled.

“It’s alright bud. I’m getting a bit tired myself.”

We got to the room and the two kids went to bed, and I went to the living room to call Jesse.

“Hello?” He answered.

“I need you to shave.” I blurted out.

“What?”

“The beard. It needs to go. Don’t get me wrong, it looks awesome, but it’s seriously freaking Morgan out and if we’re going to be spending the next 3 weeks together, you’re going to need to shave it off.”

“All of it?”

“All of it.”

“I don’t know if I can do that though Ryan. That’s a pretty big call to make.”

“I know.” I sighed. “Look, Morgan came from an abusive household, and apparently his father looked like you, and the beard is a big part of that. I don’t know what else I can do.”

He was silent. “I’ll do it.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much Jesse.”

“It’s alright Ryan.” He assured.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“It’s a big move. Don’t worry, I’ll get you something.”

“Fine.” He sighed.

“I’ll see you tomorrow for the first show Jesse. Thanks again.”

“See you then.”

I hung up the phone and went to tuck the kids in to bed

“I can’t get to sleep Daddy.” Morgan pouted.

“Do you want me to read you a story?” I offered.

“Can you sing?”

“Sure. What song do you want me to sing?”

“I don't mind.” He whispered, snuggling into the sheets. 

I smiled and sung him a bit of ‘this is gospel’ before ruffling his hair and leaving the room.

I was getting ready to go to bed when Kaitlyn raced in.

“Oh, hey little Urie. What’s up?”

“I-I had a nightmare and M-Mom is asleep and D-Dad is still out.”

“Oh. Uh… do you want to talk about it?”

“O-Okay…”

“What happened?”

“I-I was taken away, b-back to the group home. I-It was just scary.”

“Hmm. Uh… how can I help?”

“Y-You can’t, I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I just n-needed to talk.”

“Well, I’m always here for that little Urie. Want a hug?”

She nodded hesitantly.

I hugged her tightly, and eventually she pulled away. “T-Thanks.”

“It’s alright little Urie.” I assured.

“I-I’m g-going back t-to bed n-now…”

I nodded. “See you in the morning.”

“N-Night Ryan.”

She headed out and I finally headed to bed.


	33. Chapter 32 - The First Concert

In the morning, before we had any soundchecks or anything, we all decided to go out.

Morgan was quiet again and was almost falling asleep in my arms.

“Is it better now?” A clean-shaved Jesse asked.

“Morgan?” I asked.

He wouldn’t turn around.

Jesse sighed. “I’m not your Dad bud. I’m just a guy.”

Morgan turned around slightly and sniffled. He wiped his eyes, but was still quiet.

I gave Jesse an apologetic look and hugged Morgan close.

“I-It’s a quiet day Daddy.” Morgan whispered, almost silently.

“What does that mean bud?” I asked.

“N-No talking.” He answered.

“You don’t want to talk today?”

He nodded silently, before shrugging slightly.

“Alright bud.” I sighed. “I guess that’s fine.”

“I-I’m not allowed to talk on b-bad Daddy’s birthday.”

I sighed sadly. “Bud, you can talk all you want. Bad Daddy’s not here. It’s just me and Wavey.”

He shrugged and snuggled back into my shoulder.

I gently patted his back as Waverly looked at me, sort of worried.

“Do you want me to hold him?” She asked.

“Morgie? Do you want to go to Wavey?” I asked him.

He nodded and reached out to Waverly.

I gently passed him over and attempted to google what I should do to help him.

He was still silent as we sat down in a small cafe. Everyone ordered their food and Morgan wouldn’t say what he wanted.

“Milkshake?” I suggested.

He shrugged silently.

I sighed and went up to order.

I was stuck in the line for ages, and when I looked back, Waverly was tried to console Morgan.

I handed Brendon my wallet. “A cappuccino for me, a chocolate milkshake for Morgan. Don’t get Waverly anything. I’ll be right back.”

He nodded before I raced over to Morgan. He clung onto me, tears spilling from his eyes.

“It’s okay bud.” I assured. “It’s okay.”

“P-Please don’t leave again.” He whispered.

“I won’t.” I promised.

He started calming down a bit, but still held onto me.

Brendon threw my wallet across the table to me. “I paid. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, okay, thanks.”

“Is he okay?”

Morgan nodded and sniffled, turning around to face Brendon.

“Hey bud.” Brendon did his best smile.

“H-Hi.” He sniffled.

“I ordered you a chocolate milkshake.”

“Th-thanks.”

“Why are you so glum today?”

“I left my stuffed toy at home.” He stammered. “A-And I couldn’t get to sleep, s-so I’m tired…”

“How about we go for a trip to the shops, and we’ll find you a new one!” Brendon suggested.

“Okay.” Morgan smiled slightly.

We had breakfast, and the rest of the Urie’s joined us before we took a taxi to a rather large mall. Morgan’s face lit up when we reached the toy store.

“It’s cool, isn’t it?” Brendon asked him.

He nodded. “Really, really cool!”

Brendon chuckled. “What do you want to look at?”

“A new stuffed toy!”

“Alright, let’s go.” He grinned, following the translated signs to the soft toys section.

Morgan giggled as he went through the wall, testing all the different ones.

Brendon suggested a few toys, but Morgan found a big soft one he wanted.

“This one Daddy number two!”

Brendon smiled and nodded. “I like that one too.”

“It’s so soft!” Morgan giggled.

“Let’s go pay.”

Waverly nervously tugged my shirt. “Can I get one too Dad?”

I nodded. “Sure.”

She smiled and picked one up off the shelf. “Okay, let’s go.”

Brendon took it to the counter and paid for both of them

“Brendon, you didn’t have to do that.” I sighed.

“Yeah I did!” He grinned.

“No, you didn’t.” I mumbled.

“Besides, they’re happy now.” He shrugged.

“They would’ve been happy if I had paid.”

“And? It doesn’t matter Ryan.”

“Matters to me.” I muttered, taking Morgan’s hand.

“Can we hang around with Daddy number 2 all day?”

I frowned and faced Brendon. “No. Daddy number 2 has his own family to get back to.”

He shrugged. “They’re all having a girly day.”

“No, he  _ really  _ has to get back to his family.”

“Don’t be a meanie Daddy!”

“I’m not.” I sighed. 

“No, I’ll leave.” Brendon muttered, walking away.

“About time.” I muttered. “Anyway, let’s go explore!”

Morgan shook his head. “I’m not going.”

“Yeah you are bud.” I nodded. “We’re going to go and have some fun!”

“Nope!” He said, crossing his arms.

“Why not?” I sighed, already knowing the answer.

“Because you were mean to Daddy number 2.” He stuck his tongue out at me.

“Daddy number 2 was very mean to me Morgie.”

“How?”

“A long time ago, he did something really mean and made me really sad for a really long time.” I explained awkwardly.

“Well  _ you _ are making  _ me _ really sad for a long time.”

“How?”

“By being mean to Daddy number 2.”

“Alright, well, we’ll see him again tonight and I’ll say sorry. But for now, can we go and have some fun?”

“Nope. Nothing’s fun without Daddy number 2.”

“Well, now you’re making me really sad Morgie.”

“Well I don’t care!”

I frowned. “Let’s go. Time out.”

“No! You’re such a meanie and you don’t love me at all!”

“Morgie, I love you lots. I loved Brendon lots too, but he was a really big meanie and didn’t love me back.”

“You’re a big meanie and I hate you!”

“Hey!” Waverly shouted at him. “He’s done the most for you out of anyone ever! Be grateful!”

“No one loves me.” He whimpered.

I sighed and picked him up. “I love you lots Morgie.”

He wrapped his arms around me. “I’m sorry Daddy.” He sniffled.

“It’s okay Morgie.” I assured. “Come on, I think there’s a teacup ride downstairs.”

“Okay…” He whispered.

We walked down there, stopping at a few shops on the way. He seemed to cheer up a bit.

“It’s very colourful here.” He smiled slightly.

“It is.” I nodded.

“I like it.”

I smiled. “That’s good.”

He nodded. “Still tired though.” He yawned.

“Aww…” Waverly murmured. “I don’t want to head back to the hotel just yet.”

“It’s okay.” He murmured, falling asleep on my shoulder.

I went to the concierge and rented a stroller, so Waverly and I could keep shopping.

“There’s so much random stuff here.”

I nodded. “It’s weird.”

“I like it though.”

I smiled. “I’m glad Waves.”

We continued walking through all the shops for hours, before we headed back to the hotel.

When we got back, Morgan immediately ran into Brendon’s room to find him.

Waverly and I just sat and watched TV, and planned to until soundcheck, until Brendon raced in with a terrified Morgan.

“What’s wrong bud?” I asked.

Brendon sat him on the couch and he was just shaking, not saying a word.

“What did you DO, Urie?!” I asked, rushing to his aid.

“I didn’t do anything!” He panicked.

“Well, what made him like this then?!” Waverly accused.

“I, I don’t know!” He stammered.

“What were you doing when it started Brendon?” I asked calmly. I’d dealt with Brendon in this state before. Dating him had some perks, especially when it came to knowing how to deal with his panic attacks.

“I, uh, I think we were watching TV?”

“What were you watching?”

“Oh god, I don’t know!” He said. “The news?”

“And what was on the news?”

“There was a man, and, I, I don’t know, I stepped away for a moment and then I came back and he was like this!”

“Wavey, check the news on your phone.” I instructed. “Morgie? Buddy? Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“T-TV, m-man….Daddy!” He cried.

“It’s okay Morgie.” I assured, rubbing circles into his back. “You’re safe, okay? He can’t hurt you here.”

“H-He’s gonna find me!” He sobbed.

“No, he’s not.” I promised. “You’re safe.”

“I-I’m scared.”

“I know bud.” I sighed, holding him close.

“There’s a few recent stories. Mostly about a hostage situation though?”

“What?” I asked. “Read it.”

“Um, in the States, there was, actually, there  _ is _ a hostage situation apparently. Umm, a bank is being held up and all the news stations are reporting on it.”

“Who’s in it?”

“They’ve identified the captor as someone called Will Keyes.”

Morgan pressed his hands to his ears and screamed as loud as he possibly could.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay Morgie, it’s okay.”

“H-He’s g-gonna k-kill m-me and y-you a-and e-everyone!”

“We’re safe here Morgie, it’s okay.”

“H-He’s g-gonna d-do the b-bad thing!” He panicked.

“No, he won’t. I’ve got you bud, you’re safe, I promise.”

Morgan screamed again and locked himself in a small cabinet in the kitchenette.

“You’re okay bud, I promise. It’s just me, Ryan, okay?”

I could hear his heavy breathing from outside the cabinet, but he showed no signs of opening it.

“It's okay Morgie, it's just me, and Wavey and Brendon. No one's gonna hurt you.”

His tears deepened and he threw the cabinet open and fell into my arms, still crying. “D-don't let him hurt me.”

“The hostages got out. There were 8 people killed.”

“It's all okay Morgie, it's all okay.” I assured, holding him tight.

I sat him down in front of the TV while I looked for some cartoons. I passed by one of the news channels, at the exact wrong moment and Morgan watched as his father shot himself dead.

“Daddy!” Morgan yelped.

“Oh god, TURN IT OFF WAVEY!” I shouted.

She fumbled with a the remote before turning the TV off. Morgan was sitting there, wide eyed and whimpering.

“Bud?” I asked gently, crouching down in front of him. “What’s going on?”

He didn’t move a muscle.

“Morgan?” I asked again, taking his hand this time.

His lip started quivering before he burst into tears.

I gently pulled him into a hug and rocked him back and forth while he cried.

“I-I didn’t like that Daddy. N-Not at all.” He whispered, barely audible.

“That’s okay bud.” I promised.

He stayed silent and crying for about another hour continuously.

Eventually Brendon walked in. “Yo, we gotta head down for the soundcheck soon.”

“Well I can’t really go Brendon.”

“Uh… you sort of have to. You can leave him with Sarah, she’ll look after him.”

“D-Don’t leave! Please!” He begged.

Brendon sat down next to him. “Me and your Daddy have some very important things to do before our show tonight. Can you stay with Wavey and Sarah and Kaitlyn and Nicole while we go and do that? Daddy will be back soon.”

“I-I don’t wanna lose another D-Daddy!”

“You’re not losing him.” Brendon promised.

“B-But you’re taking him away!”

He considered. “Why don’t you come with us?”

“A-Are we gonna get hurt?”

“Nope. We just have to go to the stage, and make sure that everyone in the audience tonight can hear us.”

“O-Okay…” He stammered nervously.

Brendon ruffled his hair. “Alright, let’s go.”

Morgan stayed clinging onto me, his head buried in my shoulder.

We took a cab to the venue, and met up with the other band members. Brendon took the microphone and started singing as loudly and obnoxiously as he could.

Morgan kept getting scared and his grip tightened until I tried to put him down.

“N-No, don’t put me down!” He cried. “I-I don’t wanna be alone!”

“Okay, okay.” I murmured, ignoring the pain in my lower back.

“I-I’m gonna get hurt.” He stammered.

“No you’re not.” I told him. “Why would you think that?”

“B-Because Daddy got hurt.”

“You’re not going to get hurt.” I promised. “He’s not your Daddy anymore. I am.”

“I-I’m just scared…”

“You don’t have to be. You’re safe Morgie.”

He noticed me struggling to keep him up. “A-Are you sore Daddy?”

“Only a little bud.” I assured.

“Y-You can put me down…”

I gently put him down, and he instantly grabbed onto my leg.

“It’s okay bud.” 

“I-I don’t want you to l-leave me.”

“I’m not going to.” I promised.

“P-promise?”

“I promise.”

“O-Okay.”

The rest of the sound check went down without a hassle, and we went backstage to get ready. The label had got us matching shirts.

“Y-You’re gonna leave me backstage, a-aren’t you?” Morgan whispered.

“You can stand at the side so you can see me if you want.” I suggested.

“O-Okay.” He sniffled.

“It’s going to be fine.” I assured him.

I-I know, but I-I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too bud.”

We hung around in backstage for a while longer, and people were starting to file in.

“I’m terrified, but it’s like, a good terrified?” Brendon grinned, jumping up and down.

I smiled. “I guess that’s good.”

The rest of the family met up with us, and we hugged, before Brendon and I began the vocal warm ups. Waverly found it hilarious.

“You have any better suggestions then Waves?” I asked.

She stifled a giggle and shook her head. “T-The sounds are just really silly.”

“It does, but it works.” I shrugged.

We could hear the crowd cheering outside as the opening act went on to play a couple of songs.

Morgan was just sitting quiet, looking at the ground.

“There’s a lot of people there Daddy…”

I nodded. “There are, but that’s okay.”

“Do you get scared?”

“A little bit.”

“Can I say hi to all the people?” He asked.

“When this band’s finished, I’ll bring you out and you can say hi, alright?”

He grinned. “Okay!”

The band finished their set and Morgan was bugging me to go out.

“We just have to build up the tension.” Brendon explained with a grin.

“How do you do that?” He asked.

“We just wait here.”

“That’s mean.” Morgan pouted.

“Only a little.” Brendon grinned, before running out onto the stage.

The screams became a lot louder.

I smiled. “Stay here for a little bit Morgie. I’ll come and get you.”

“Okay.” He smiled.

I ran onto the stage, and the screams got even louder.

“I’m Brendon, and this is Ryan, and we are PANIC! AT THE DISCO!” Brendon smiled into the microphone, much to the delight of the fans.

“Well, only like, half the band is on stage right now Brendon.”

“True. Where are the rest of you?”

They all came out and got in their general positions. I could hear Spencer chuckling in the back.

“They sound guys trusted me with a mic.” He giggled.

“That probably wasn’t a good idea.” Brendon laughed. “Anyway, let’s start! I’m feeling a little…. Victorious.”

The crowd went nuts as we launched into the first song.

Brendon was grinning like crazy by the time we ended.

“Well that was awesome you guys!” He said.

“Not so bad yourself Urie.” I smiled.

“Why thank you Mr Ross.”

The crowd was going crazy, and a couple of girls at the front were chanting “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’

“I have a feeling Sarah wouldn’t appreciate us kissing.” 

“Neither would the girls.” I nodded. “Anyway, Morgie wanted to come say hi to everyone.”

Morgan beamed as I picked him up and took him on stage.

The crowd ‘awww’d’ as he waved to them slightly. I held the microphone up. “Everyone, this is Morgan.”

“Hello!” He smiled.

The crowd went nuts and I giggled. “They really like you Morgie.”

“I really like them too.” He blushed.

The crowd aww’d again and I smiled. “Alright bud. Go back with your sister now.”

He pouted. “But I wanna sing a song like you did!”

I looked to Brendon for some advice.

“Who here wants to hear Morgan sing?” He asked the crowd.

Everyone put their hands up.

Brendon laughed. “Alright Morgie, go ahead.”

“What should I sing Daddy?”

“Whatever you want bud.”

“I don’t know what I want! That’s why I’m asking  _ you _ , silly!”

“What’s your favourite song?” I asked.

“I don’t know! This is hard Daddy!”

The audience giggled.

Brendon whispered a suggestion in his ear and he nodded. “Okay! Let’s sing I write sins not tragedies!”

Morgan started humming along to the instrumental opening, which was cute.

“Oh! Well imagine! I’m pacing the… things in the church corridor! And I can’t help but to hear, oh I can’t help but to hear an exchanging of words! What a beautiful wedding! Says a bridesmaid to a… but what a shame the groom’s bride is SWEAR WORD!”

The audience laughed and smiled.

He launched into the chorus and danced a little, and Brendon assisted with some backup vocals.

At the end of the song, Morgan was panting. “Being a singer man is hard Daddy.”

Brendon chuckled. “Sure is bud. Want to head back to your sister now?”

“I wanna help you sing some more!”

“I hear there’s donuts backstage…”

Morgan ran off to go find them.

Everyone booed, almost as he left.

“Don’t be so glum guys, you still have us!” Brendon grinned. “Let’s get into the next song!”

We went through the whole set, and Morgan was watching at the side of the stage sadly the entire time.

We reached Miss Jackson, and I made eye contact with Kaitlyn over on the side of the stage. I moved my head slightly, gesturing for her to come on.

She walked out hesitantly on stage.

The crowd went wide, and Brendon turned to face her.

“Oh, hey little worm. What are you doing out here?”

“Can I sing?”

“Sure.” He nodded, handing her a microphone. “Anyway, everything, this is Kaitlyn, my daughter.”

The crowd went wild.

“ _ Climbing out the back door, didn’t leave a mark. No one knows it’s you Miss Jackson. Found another victim, but no one’s gonna find Miss Jackson, Jackson, Jackson.” _

The crowd was screaming and cheering, and Kaitlyn smiled as Brendon picked up the vocals.

She tried to sneak off the stage unnoticed, but the crowd clearly noticed and started chanting her name.

She shook her head and rushed off the stage.

Brendon finished the song, threw the microphone to me, and ran off after her.

“So...how are you guys?” I asked.

The crowd just cheered at me.

“Uh…” I fumbled for something to say. “This wasn’t planned…”

The crowd took advantage of the break and for some reason started belting out Fall Out Boy songs.

“Oh, okay.” I grabbed the guitar and started playing along.

Brendon was away for a long time, and the crowd was getting bored.

“Alright, um, this is something little I’ve been working on… it’s about my kids.” I sat down on a stool and grabbed the acoustic guitar. “It’s not finished, so, uh, don’t judge I guess.”

The crowd seemingly enjoyed the song and were cheering.

“I’m glad you guys enjoyed that.” I smiled.

Brendon finally came back out. “Sorry for leaving everyone.”

Everyone cheered. 

“Let’s finish up the set.”

We cut a few songs out to make up time, and finally, we finished and went offstage. Sarah and Brendon hugged, and I hugged my two kids as well.

Morgan was still silent.

“What’s up bud?”

“N-Nothing.” He sniffled.

“You’re lying.”

“N-No I’m not!” He cried.

I sighed. “It’s past your bedtime bud. Let’s go back to the hotel.”

“O-Okay.” He sniffled.

I waved goodbye to Brendon, before calling a taxi and taking my family back to the hotel.

“W-Why d-did they show that b-bad stuff on TV Daddy?”

“I don’t know bud.” I sighed.

“I-I don’t like it.” He sniffled. 

“Me neither.”

“P-People are m-mean.”

“They are. But not all of them bud. Come on, let’s go have your bath and you can sleep in my bed tonight.”

“O-Okay.” He whispered.

I ran the bath and put him in, wincing at the scars that dotted his shoulders and chest. He was too preoccupied with the toy duck I’d found under the sink to say anything about them today.

“We should get a ducky for at home!”

I smiled. “Sure bud.”

“Yay!” He beamed.

“Hey Dad…” Waverly said unsurely, leaning on the doorframe.

“What’s up Waves?”

“I know it’s late, and I know you’re probably exhausted… but I’m a bit hungry and I didn’t get any dinner.”

“Right, sorry. I’ll just finished up here then I’ll help you.”

She smiled and kissed my cheek. “Thanks Dad.”

“No problem Waves.”

“Look at my ducky Wavey!” Morgan giggled.

“Very cool.” She nodded.

Morgan giggled and went back to playing with it.

“Ow! That hurt Daddy!” He frowned.

A few of the deeper scars just wouldn't heal over, and it was clear he'd been scratching them, which is probably why he'd not said anything in fear of getting in trouble.

“Bud, have you been picking at them again?” I sighed.

“No?”

I sighed. “Let’s get you dry and I’ll put a fresh bandage on them.”

“Okay.” He mumbled.

I dried him off and put some bandaids over the wounds, before dressing him into his pyjamas. “There you go bud.”

“Thanks Daddy.” He smiled.

“Alright, hop into bed. I’ll get help Waverly and then I’ll come in.”

He nodded. “See you soon Daddy!”

I walked out to the kitchen, where Waverly had pulled everything out and was just waiting for me.

“Sorry for taking so long.” I apologised.

“It’s fine.” She shrugged.

I got everything connected and sat down on the couch with her for a little while.

“Thanks for helping.” She smiled.

“It’s fine Waves.”

“You should probably go check on Morgan.”

I nodded and walked into the room. Morgan was lying there, grasping onto the pillow crying.

“What’s wrong bud?” I asked, rushing to help.

“I-I keep s-seeing D-Daddy dead w-when I try to sleep.”

I sighed. “Alright. Come sit out with me and Wavey for a little while.”

He keep holding the pillow and sat on the couch, staring blankly at the wall.

I turned the TV onto some cartoons and tried to direct his attention towards them.

He watched a little bit of it, before staring back at the wall.

I sighed. “What’s up Morgie?”

“Nothing.” He mumbled, snuggling up to me.

“You can talk to us.” Waverly encouraged.

“I-I’m just scared.”

“Why?”

“I-I don’t wanna be a meanie like Daddy.”

“You’re not going to be a meanie Morgan.”

“I hope not.” He whispered.

“Of course you’re not.”

“Are you sure?”

“110%.”

“O-Okay…” He stammered.

After an hour or so, Morgan was so tired that he just fell asleep on the couch.

Wavey was almost done, and I was fighting to stay awake.

“Sorry for keeping you up…”

“It’s alright.” I yawned. “The concert just used up most of my energy.”

“Yeah. It wasn’t really right of Brendon to just leave you like that.”

“No, no, he had family issues. That’s not his fault.”

“Yeah, but still. He hung you out to dry.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“If you say so Dad.” She mumbled.

“Am I too forgiving?”

“It’s one of your best qualities.”

“Are you sure?”

She giggled and nodded, before wincing. “Ow, that hurt.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yep, fine.” She sighed. “Don’t let me laugh again though.”

“Fine.” I smiled slightly.

We watched the TV until the bag was empty. After putting Morgan to bed and dismantling Waverly’s stuff, I practically fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow.


	34. Chapter 33 - What Even Is Normal?

“Rise and shine everyone!” Brendon yelled as he raced around to all our rooms.

I groaned. “Shut up.”

“Come on guys!” 

I check the time. It was 4 in the morning. Morgan stirred and whimpered before snuggling into me.

“Brendon, we’ve had three hours sleep.” I snapped at him. “We’ll get up later. Get out of my hotel room.”

“Come on!” He bounced around.

Nicole walked in. “Come on Dad, let’s go running. We’ll come back later.”

“They’re just party poopers.”

“Let’s just leave them then.” She dragged him out of the room.

He bounded out of the room, and after awhile they were gone.

I groaned and went back to sleep. When I woke up next, the time read 11am.

Morgan was still curled up beside me, tears streaming down his face.

“Morgie? Bud?” I whispered.

“W-What?” He whispered.

“What’s wrong?”

“I-I had a nightmare, that’s all. A-And now my back’s sore.”

“Alright. Let’s get up. It’s nearly lunchtime.”

“I-I wanna stay here.”

“Well, you can stay for a little while.” I shrugged. “I’m going to check on Waverly.”

He sniffled and nodded, curling up with his pillow.

I walked to Waverly’s room, and she was sitting on the bed, watching some YouTube videos.

“Hey Waves.” I smiled.

“Hey Dad. You slept all day.”

“Mmm, yeah. I realised.”

“Brendon came back. Offered coffee. I declined. Anyway, he and his family went to the shops to find some weird candy. I dunno, something for Nicole.”

“Ahh, yeah. That’s alright.”

She shrugged. “He wants you to call, apparently he wants to plan something for tonight for all of us.”

I sighed. “He can be really high maintenance sometimes.”

“Yeah. He seemed pretty excited though.”

“Of course he did.”

“Anyway, now that you’re up, brunch maybe?”

“Yeah sure. You can wake me up if you’re hungry, ya know?”

She shrugged. “You looked adorable asleep with Morgan. Look! I got a picture! I put it on your dating profile too.”

I sighed. “Of course you did.”

“Uh huh! Dallon was super into it.”

“I’m sure he was.”

She nodded and handed me my phone. “I’ll set it all up, do you want to order room service or something?”

I shook my head. “I’m not hungry.”

“What about Morgan?”

“He doesn’t want to get out of bed.”

“Oh, okay.”

“I have to go talk to him soon anyway.”

She shrugged. “Would you… uh, maybe sort this out first?”

“Right, sorry.” I murmured, sitting Waverly down and connecting everything.

“Thanks.” She murmured.

“It's fine.”

I walked back into the bedroom and sat back down next to Morgan.

“D-Do we have to go a-anywhere today Daddy?”

“Well, I guess not.”

“O-Okay.” He whispered.

“Why don’t you want to go out?”

“M-My back’s still really sore.”

“Oh, right. Well, come and sit with me and Waverly for a bit.”

He tried to get up and winced before laying back down and curling back up.

“Come on bud.” I coaxed, helping him up.

“I-It really hurts Daddy.”

“I know. Come to the kitchen and I’ll give you some medicine.”

“C-Can you carry me?”

“Sure.”

He clung onto me, tears brimming his eyes the entire way.

I sat him on the counter and poured some kids pain medicine into a small cup, before handing it to him. “Here bud. This’ll make it better.”

He took the medication and made a disgusted face. “It’s yucky.”

“I know.” I said, handing him some water to wash it down.

He guzzled down the water.

‘“It still hurts though Daddy!”

“Give it a little bit of time bud.”

He frowned.

“Do you want me to carry you to the lounge?”

“Can you take me back to bed?”

I sighed. “Okay Morgie.”

I carried him back to bed and laid him down. “All good?”

He nodded and snuggled up with his pillow.

I smiled and went back out to Waverly. “How’s it going?”

“Eh, alright.”

“Want some water?”

“No thanks.”

“Okay.” I sat down next to her.

“Did you call Brendon?”

“No.” I sighed. “I don’t really want to.” 

“You should though.”

“Why? He’s just a pain.” I murmured.

“Yeah, but he’s a cute pain.”

“Eh…..yeah, I guess.”

Waverly giggled. “Have you talked to Dallon?”

“No, not yet.”

“You should. He’s nice.”

“I know I should.” I sighed.

She passed me my phone. “Message him.”

“No, I’ll do it later.”

“Do it!”

“Fine.” I rolled my eyes.

She giggled and watched over my shoulder as I opened the app that I didn’t exactly remember installing.

“This isn’t a good idea.”

“Yes it is!”

I sighed and pulled up the chat feature. Unluckily enough, Dallon was online.

_ Ryan Ross: Hey _

_ Dallon Weekes: Hey :) _

_ Ryan Ross: How are you? _

_ Dallon Weekes: I’m great! You? _

_ Ryan Ross: I’m okay, I guess. _

_ Dallon Weekes: Only okay? _

_ Ryan Ross: Yeah. _

_ Dallon Weekes: That’s a shame _

_ Ryan Ross: Why? _

_ Dallon Weekes: You just usually seem happy _

_ Ryan Ross: I think my daughter has been talking to you. _

_ Dallon Weekes: Funny that, my kids like matchmaking me too. _

_ Ryan Ross: Waverly especially loves matching me with you. _

_ Dallon Weekes: I’m honoured. _

_ Ryan Ross: :). She’s watching our conversation. _

_ Dallon Weekes: To be expected. _

_ Ryan Ross: She says hi _

_ Dallon Weekes: Hello Ryan’s daughter. _

Waverly giggled.

_ Ryan Ross: She’s laughing. _

_ Dallon Weekes: How sweet. _

_ Ryan Ross: So what have you been up to? _

_ Dallon Weekes Not too much. You?  _

_ Ryan Ross: Well, me and the family are actually in Japan. _

_ Dallon Weekes: Oooo Japan’s nice this time of year. _

_ Ryan Ross: Yeah, it’s pretty nice _

_ Dallon Weekes: So you’re enjoying yourself? _

_ Ryan Ross: Yep. It’s been awesome so far. _

_ Dallon Weekes: Travelling is great _

_ Ryan Ross: Yeah. You done any recently? _

_ Dallon: Too expensive, so no. _

_ Ryan Ross: Maybe we could go sometime. _

_ Dallon Weekes: Nah, too expensive with kids. _

_ Ryan Ross: Not if you know the right travel agent. _

_ Dallon Weekes: Smart.  _

_ Ryan Ross: Yeah. I dunno, maybe we could work something out. _

_ Dallon Weekes: Yeah, maybe. _

_ Ryan Ross: Am I getting a bit ahead of myself? _

_ Dallon Weekes: Not really. _

_ Ryan Ross: Let’s talk. What kind of things are you into? _

_ Dallon Weekes: Well, travelling obviously, music, family. Normal stuff. What about you? _

_ Ryan Ross: Pretty much the same here. _

_ Dallon Weekes: Good to know. _

_ Ryan Ross: Yeah. Maybe when I get back we could meet up some time. _

_ Dallon Weekes: I’d like that. _

_ Ryan Ross: Me too :) _

_ Dallon Weekes: :) _

Brendon waltzed into the room. “Ryan!”

“Oh, yeah?” I asked.

“I thought you were gonna call me!”

“I’m sorry. I was sleeping, then I got caught up in internet dating.”

“Well, come into my room, we’re gonna do something cool!”

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“Alright, hey Periscope. I know it’s been a while.” I chuckled awkwardly, running a hand through my hair. “I’m coming to you live from Tokyo, Japan.”

“What on earth?” Ryan asked, confused.

“There’s Ryan.” I pointed the phone. “And that’s Sarah, and Kaitlyn, and Nicole, and Morgan, and Waverly.”

“We're a crowd.” Ryan giggled.

The feed was going nuts, but I ignored it.

“So, we’re gonna taste test some weird Japanese candy, courtesy of Nicole.”

“I did not agree to this….”

I shrugged. “Anyway, we got like, 20 bags or something, so let’s get some taste testing happening!”

“What’s first?” Nicole asked.

“You choose.”

“Wasabi chocolate.” She grinned.

I groaned. “Alright, we’re gonna start with Wasabi chocolate.” I put the phone down and made sure we were both in the picture.

Nicole gave everyone a piece and counted down. “3, 2, 1!”

I clenched my eyes closed and took a bite.

Nicole grinned. “That tasted awesome!”

“No, it really did not.” Ryan gagged.

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” She asked.

Waverly was sitting and watching us all suffer, seemingly happy she wasn’t involved.

“Alright! Time for the chupa chup gummies!” Nicole grinned. “These actually look pretty good.”

“Oh good, I can save my taste buds.” I breathed a sigh of relief.

She giggled and handed me one. “This is peach flavour.

“Thanks.”

I popped it in my mouth and smiled. “This is actually pretty great.”

She beamed. “That’s good!”

Waverly didn’t seem so happy to watch us eat it this time.

Ryan frowned once he noticed Waverly’s expression.

“Moving on!” Nicole pulled the next bag up.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Uh… I don’t know. I can’t read Japanese.”

“Oh, delightful.”

She opened it and gagged. “It doesn’t smell good.”

“That’s promising.”

She handed me one. “They’re even in the shape of little poops!”

“Is this even edible?”

She shrugged. “In one, two, three!”

We all ate the candy and immediately spat it out.

“I HATE licorice!”

“I think we all do.” Nicole gagged.

She threw the rest of the bag in the bin. “No more of that.”

I took a sip of water. “What next?”

We went through the rest of the bags, most good, others quite awful. Nicole was so happy through the whole thing, it was hard not to smile too.

“Well, that’s enough taste testing. Let’s just answer some questions.”

_ Is Nicole your other daughter Brendon? _

“Yeah.” I smiled. “She’s my other girl. And I love her, and Kaitlyn so much.”

There was a lot of ‘awws’ in the comments, and Nicole giggled.

_ Why did you have such a long break Beebo? It’s like you died. _

“Someone close to me did. Actually, a few did. And I needed some time to re-focus my energy.”

_ Aww I’m sorry to hear that. We’re all glad you’re back! _

I smiled. “It’s good to be here.”

Nicole sighed from beside me and slapped her hand against the table.

Sarah quickly tended to her and I tried to work out what I’d say.

_ What was that? _

_ Are you okay?  _

_ Is everyone alright?  _

“Everyone’s fine, don’t worry.” I tried to assure.

_ If that’s gonna keep happening, warn us so we can turn our volume down. My little sister got scared. _

“Oh, sorry. Nic, don’t do that again, okay?”

She looked at me, teary eyed. “I-I d-didn’t e-even do t-that! That was a-a really big t-twitch.”

I dropped my phone on the couch and wrapped her in a hug. “It’s okay Nic, it’s okay.”

She snuggled into me. “I-It’s g-getting w-worse Dad…”

“We’ll work something out.”

_ What is going on?  _

_ Twitch? _

_ The hell Brendon? _

“Everything’s fine!” I tried to assure, plastering a grin on my face.

_ You’ve gone weird since your last scope. _

“It’s been 3 years since my last scope. Of course I’m different.”

_ I don’t like it. _

I sighed. “What do you want from me then?”

_ To go back to normal. _

“What even is normal?”

_ Not this. _

I noticed a bunch of viewers had left.

“Look, I’m sorry that there’s a bit of personal stuff going on. Ryan can sing if you want?”

“What?” Ryan asked.

_ You’re just using Ryan because you’re crashing Brendon. _

“Crashing? I’m not crashing. Do you want me to sing?”

_ Stop trying to distract us _

I rolled my eyes. “Alright guys, whatever. I was just trying to do some cool stuff with my daughter, but it’s clear I’m not wanted. Bye.”

_ No, don’t leave! _

“But I thought you didn’t think I was normal enough for you.”

_ Just because they don’t like you, doesn’t mean we all hate you. I think it’s cute what you’re doing. _

I smiled. “Thank you… BeeboLover123.”

Most of the angry people left and the chat was nice and kind again.

Nicole came back and sat down next to me. “S-Sorry for leaving everyone.”

_ It’s okay Nicole. We don’t mind. Are you feeling better? _

She sniffled and nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks.”

_ How’s Japan?  _

“It’s awesome.” She nodded. “We did so much awesome shopping. I got this stuffed ice cream cone, and it’s adorable.”

_ I love Japan. I used to live there when I was little. _

“Oh cool, a local! What do you recommend?”

_ Hm..most of the museums are boring, there’s a lot of really nice parks and stuff though. _

“Awesome. We’ll check it out.”

_ <3 _

She giggled. “You never told me your fans were so nice Dad!”

“They are pretty great.” I smiled.

The chat was very sweet for a while, until it got a bit ugly.

_ Why exactly did you leave? _

“I, uh, I had to use the bathroom?”

_ What exactly is getting worse? The phone was tilted, we saw Beebo hugging you and you said that ‘it’s getting worse” _

“It’s not really your business….”

_ What was the twitch? _

“Nothing!” She snapped. “You shouldn’t be worrying about this stuff!”

_ We’re just worried. I mean, we actually care about you. Sorry for making you mad. _

“Well look, I’m dying? Is that what you wanted to know?!”

_ WHAT?! _

_ WTF NICOLE?! _

_ BEEBO WHAT IS GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_ WHAT DO YOU MEAN? _

_ SERIOUSLY?! _

Nicole burst into tears.

“Alright, that’s enough. Bye Periscope.” I ended the stream and turned to hug Nicole.

“I-I’m sorry Dad.” She cried.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything.” I assured, rubbing her back. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

She clung onto my shirt. “I-I just wanna know that I’ll be o-okay, b-but I c-can’t, b-because no one knows.” She whimpered.

“Right now, you’re okay. It’s just you and me, and in this moment, you’re okay.” I promised. “And we’re going to make this moment the best moment ever. So let’s eat the rest of this candy and go to the pool.”

“O-Okay.” She sniffled.

We went to the best bags, and ate so much that we both got a massive sugar high, before we raced each other down to the pool.

“I’m getting in first!” She grinned, jumping into the pool.”

“Well, I’m gonna bomb dive!” I jumped in and sprayed water everywhere.

“Dad!” She squealed.

I giggled. “Always one step ahead Nic.”

“Always.”

We swam around and played for a good while until the sugar wore off, and we went back up into the room, where Sarah and Kaitlyn were doing each other’s nails.

“Ugh, it stinks in here.” Nicole’s nose shrivelled up.

“Want me to do yours?” Sarah asked.

“I don’t know. I’ve never done the whole nails thing.”

“What?! Come sit down, time to do it. Bub, you wanna do Brendon’s?”

Kaitlyn giggled and nodded.

I raced over and sat down with Kaitlyn.

“What colour?” Sarah asked Nicole.

“Um….blue?”

“Sure.” She smiled.

Kaitlyn was painting mine all different neon colours.

“This is a masterpiece little worm.” I smiled, admiring my hand. “Can you put some glitter on there too?”

She grinned and nodded, pulling out a clear glittery polish.

Nicole was examining her own hand. “Huh. This is weird.”

Sarah shrugged. “It’s pretty.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Mine are the best of them all!” I grinned.

Kaitlyn giggled. “They’re pretty fabulous.”

“You should do this for me all the time little worm.”

“I-If you want.”

“What’s up?” I asked her.

“Nothing, I’ll do it whenever if you want.”

“Okay.”

She smiled. “You’re done.”

“Awesome.”

“You’re done too Nic.” Sarah smiled.

“Thanks Mom.”

“Should we all go to show off our new nails?” I asked.

Kaitlyn nodded.

“We should go to that sushi restaurant down the road from here.” Sarah suggested. “Get some lunch and all.”

“Sounds good.” I nodded.

Sarah smiled. “Let’s go then.”

We went down to the shop and the girl’s couldn’t decide what they wanted.

“I d-didn’t even realise there were this many kinds of sushi…” Kaitlyn murmured.

I chuckled. “There are a lot.”

Eventually we ordered and just sat back for a while, talking and smiling and generally having a good time.

“So have you all been enjoying yourselves?” I asked.

Nicole nodded. “This has been the best vacation ever. Well, it’s my only vacation ever, but it’s still the best.”

I smiled. “Good to know.”

Sushi came out, and we all ate. It was pretty amazing.

“This is so much better than the sushi at home.” Nicole said.

Kaitlyn nodded in agreement

“I don’t ever wanna leave Japan.” Nicole murmured.

“Me neither.”

I was busy on my phone, checking twitter. There were a bunch of questions about the periscope, and what happened.

Nicole leaned over and sighed. “Don’t respond.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” I shut my phone off and put it back in my pocket.

Her hand banged down on the table again, and she quickly shoved it back into her hoodie pocket.

“Are we all done?”

“Yep.” Kaitlyn nodded.

I wiped over the table with a napkin before we headed off.

We were walking back to the hotel when Nicole suddenly fell over.

“Are you alright Nic?” I asked, helping her up.

“Yeah, yeah. Fine.” She muttered. “I think my leg twitched.”

“Okay.”

She dusted herself off, and kept walking with me and Sarah.

“Where do we want to go?”

“I don’t mind.” Kaitlyn shrugged.

“Well that’s not much help.”

“S-Sorry…”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

“The park?” Sarah suggested.

“Sure, let’s go.”

We went for a walk to the park, which was nice and peaceful.

“It’s so pretty here.” Sarah smiled.

Nicole nodded. “It’s beautiful.”

“Like you three.” I smiled.

All three of them blushed and giggled.

“And you all sound the same when you giggle.”

“You’re beautiful too Dad.” Kaitlyn giggled.

It was my turn to blush. “Beautiful, or FABULOUS?!” I grinned.

“Fabulous Brendon.” Sarah giggled.

“Both.” Nicole told me.

“I’m a pretty princess.”

“You certainly are.”

“I wonder if we’ll be able to find a pretty pink dress for me.”

“Let’s go find one!”

So we ended up going in and out of shops looking for the perfect dress.

I was trying on all sorts of things, and quite a few shop assistants were very confused.

“Maybe I should get sized.” I considered, looking in the mirror with the newest dress the girls found.

“I found the one!” Nicole came running in.

“You did?” I asked. She was holding up a frilly pink and purple dress.

“Uh huh. It’s perfect. Try it on!”

Í went into the dressing room and pulled the dress on.

Kaitlyn grinned when she saw it. “It’s perfect. You’re the pretty princess you’ve always dreamed of being.”

“I am. We need to buy this now.”

We bought the dress, and I wore it back to the hotel.

There were a bunch of weird looks, but I didn’t care. I just ran to Ryan’s room.

Waverly opened the door and burst into laughter. 

“I’m beautiful, right?”

“So beautiful. Dad!”

Ryan raced to Waverly and stared at me, silent.

“Don’t I look pretty Ryan?”

“I, uh...yeah? I guess?”

“I’m a pretty princess!”

“Yeah, I see that.”

“Wanna come over?”

“Sure?”

I grinned and led them back to room. Nicole was eating more of the leftover candy.

“Don't eat all the good stuff Nic!”

She giggled and threw me the princess candy.

“Why thank you.”

She smiled and continued eating.

“Want some Ryan?”

“No thank you”

“Okay.” I shrugged.

“Hey Dad, have you seen Kaitlyn?”

“No…?”

“Me neither.”

“Dammit.” I mumbled.

“I haven’t seen her since we got back, and she’s not in her room.”

“Alright, I’ll look around.”

“Okay, cool.”

I walked around the hotel and tried to find her.

Eventually, I found her in the corner of the lobby, banging her head against the wall.

I pulled her away and held her close. “What’s wrong little worm?”

She pulled away from me and resumed what she was doing.

“No, don’t do that. Just talk to me.”

“Dumb…. Bad… stupid….” She murmured so quietly it was barely audible. She continued to bang her head against the wall.

“None of that’s true.”

She seemingly didn’t hear me.

I pulled her back and wrapped my arms around tight.

Kaitlyn shrieked and tried to pull away from me.

“No, little worm, I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

She pushed me away and went back to the wall, resuming what she was doing.

“No, please Kaitlyn. Just talk.”

She didn’t respond. It was almost like she was in a trance.

“Kaitlyn?” I asked.

Again, there was no response.

“Please little worm, talk to me.”

Nicole walked over. “Kaitlyn? What are you doing?”

Kaitlyn wouldn’t even respond to Nicole.

“Do you want to call Sarah?” I asked.

“Yeah, I will.” Nicole said.

I went back to the situation at hand and tried to pull her away from the wall.

It wasn’t long before Sarah came down, with Ryan in tow.

“Little Urie?” Ryan asked, gently turning her around.

Kaitlyn fought against everyone.

“Come here bub, I’ve got your medication.” Sarah sighed, pulling the bottle out of her purse.

It was a huge struggle to actually get her to take it, and I just held her tight in my arms while we waiting for it set in.

“Shhh. Calm down Little Urie.” Ryan kept trying to encourage.

The medication helped a little bit, but she was shaking in my arms and crying.

“Let’s go back up to the room.” Nicole suggested. “The lobby isn’t a good place for this.”

We all went back to the room, and I ended up carrying Kaitlyn.

When we got there, she tried to go back to what she was doing.

“No, little worm, please. Stay with me, okay?”

She sniffled. “B-But I n-need!”

“No, you don’t.”

“I n-need!” She panicked, trying to break away from me.

“No, you’re staying here.”

She punched me and ran back to the wall.

“No, Kaitlyn!”

She was banging her head with a much higher intensity than in the lobby, and I tore her away to prevent her from hurting herself.

“No!” She squealed.

I pulled her onto the lounge and held her tightly in my arms so she couldn’t get out. “I just don’t want you to get hurt little worm.”

“Let me go! Please!”

“No, little worm. I’m sorry.”

“Please Dad!”

“No.” I said finally.

She clenched her fists, and I was thinking she was going to punch again, but she just collapsed in tears.

“It’s okay little worm.” I comforted. “It’s okay.”

“I-I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“It’s alright. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I don’t feel okay.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Just a bit shaken up.” She said.

“That’s okay. Do you want some water?”

“Yes please.”

I took her hand and led her to the kitchen, where I handed her a glass of water.

She gulped the entire thing down silently.

“Better?”

She nodded. “Thanks.”

“Let’s go watch some TV.”

She snuggled up to me on the couch.

“So what do we want to do tomorrow?” Sarah asked, handing me a travel brochure.

I flipped through. “I’m honestly not sure.”

“I was thinking maybe we could do Disneyland.” Sarah suggested.

Nicole shook her head.

“Why?”

“I-I just, don’t wanna go?”

“I think we’d have fun there.” I nodded.

“Do we have to?” She asked.

“Why don’t you want to go?” Kaitlyn asked.

“No reason?” She stammered.

“You’ll have fun when we get there.” Sarah patted her shoulder.

She shook her head and went into her room.

“O-Oh… I g-get it.” Kaitlyn mumbled.

I don’t.” I mumbled, getting up to talk to her.

Nicole was crying when I reached her room.

“What’s wrong Nic?”

“Nothing, nothing at all.” She cried.

“I-I’m n-not g-going.” She sobbed.

“Why not? It’ll be fun!” 

She sniffled. “W-What w-was the o-one place J-Jaxon wanted t-to go b-but never g-got to v-visit?”

I fell silent.

“T-That’s w-why I’m n-not g-going.”

“That’s okay.”

“T-Thanks.”

“It’s alright Nic.”

“I-I’m s-sorry for s-shutting down your i-idea.”

I shrugged. “It’s alright. We’ll find something else.”

“O-Okay.”

“Don’t worry about it though.”

She sniffled. “I-I’ll t-try.”

“I love you Nic.”

“I l-love you too Dad.”

I flopped onto the bed. “We need to get mattresses like these for home.”

She chuckled. “Y-Yeah.”

“Would you want one?”

“Probably.”

“Good to know.”

Sarah came in and sat down. “What about Universal Studios?”

Nicole shrugged.

“Awesome.”

Nicole nodded silently.

“What’s wrong bub?”

“I’m just thinking about him.” She said, wiping her eyes. “Don’t worry.”

Sarah just hugged her.

She took a deep breath in. “Sorry about before.”

–“No, no, it’s fine Nic.” I promised.

She walked back out and got herself a drink.

“D-Dad?” Kaitlyn asked.

“What’s up little worm?”

“I-I, u-um…. I-I’m hungry.”

“What do you want to eat?”

She shrugged.

“We basically have ramen or candy, unless you wanna go out?”

“R-Ramen p-please.”

“Sure.” I nodded.

She smiled gratefully.

I made it for her in a bowl and brought it out to the dining table.

She ate the whole thing, not struggling at all. I was quite amazed.

“Better?” I asked.

She nodded. “T-Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“C-Can we go see Ryan?”

“Yeah, sure.” I murmured.

She smiled. “Awesome.”

“Yeah, okay..” I mumbled.

We walked over to Ryan's room, and she knocked on the door.

He answered the door. “Oh, hey little Urie.” He smiled.

Kaitlyn smiled. “Hey Ryan!”

“What are you up to?”

“Not much. We just came to see you!”

“Oh, awesome! Well, come in.”

She smiled and we walked inside. Waverly was sitting on the couch, awkwardly trying to hide the feeding contraption. “Sorry, I didn’t think we were having visitors.”

I shrugged. “It was pretty spontaneous.”

“Yeah…” She murmured.

“We can leave if you want.”

“I don’t want to be a pain. It’s okay, you can stay.”

“Alright…”

“You guys want a drink?” Ryan asked.

“Sure.” Kaitlyn smiled.

Ryan poured us both a glass of water and sat down next to Waverly. “So, what’s been happening Urie’s?”

“Not a lot.” I murmured. 

Kaitlyn frowned slightly.

“What about dinner tonight?” Ryan asked. “Any plans?”

“No, we can all go out though.”

“I heard about this restaurant where you’re completely served by robots. Want to go there?”

“Yeah, sure!” Kaitlyn grinned.

“Fine.” I murmured.

“What’s wrong Brendon?”

“Nothing, I just… nothing.”

“Come on, you can talk.”

“I just wanted some time with my family. But that’s okay, we have the rest of the vacation.”

“If you want to spend time alone, you can. I did say I’d leave you alone.”

“No, no, it’s okay.”

“Only if you’re sure.”

“He’s sure.” Kaitlyn answered.

“Alright.” Ryan shrugged.

“Can I stay at the hotel Dad?” Waverly asked.

“Um...I’ll think about it.”

“Please?”

“I just don’t want something happening.” He sighed. “Do you have credit on your phone?”

“I’m not sure. But I really don’t wanna go.”

He nodded and pulled out his phone. Waverly’s phone dinged and she smiled.

“So this means I can stay?”

Ryan nodded.

She grinned. “Thanks Dad.”

“It’s alright. Just call me if there’s any issues.”

She nodded. “There won’t.”

“I know, I’m just paranoid.”

“You don’t have to be. I’m just going to watch some TV or something.”

“Alright, alright. Just don’t eat anything when I’m not here.”

“I promise I won’t.” She assured.

“Okay.” He breathed.

She patted his shoulder. “I’ll be  _ fine  _ Dad.”

“Are you sure? Maybe you should come.”

She shook her head wildly. “Even the people at the group home didn’t make me watch everyone else eat.”

“But you’re gonna be alone! And we aren’t home!” He panicked. 

“Please! Please please please!” She practically begged.

“But I don’t want you to get hurt Waves!”

“I’m literally just going to watch TV. I’m not going to eat anything.”

“But what if someone breaks in or something? And then they try to hurt you, or take you away!?”

She groaned. “You’re getting paranoid.”

“But so much could go wrong! There could be a fire, or a power outage or anything!”

“Ryan, she’ll be fine.” I butted in.

“You have to see what could go wrong though! She could break a bone, or electrocute herself!”

“I’m 12 Dad. Seriously. If it was Morgan, I get it. But I’m not Morgan.”

He took a deep breath. “Alright, alright.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

“It’s alright.” He mumbled.

Nicole knocked on the door and poked her head in. “We’re going to the games room, anyone want to come?”

Morgan raced out and decided he’d go. Ryan didn’t seemed too thrilled about it.

“Be careful, okay Morgie?”

Morgan nodded, seemingly taking no note of what Ryan had said.

“I’ll look after him.” Nicole smiled, ruffling his hair. “And Sarah’s there too.”

“Okay.” Ryan murmured.

“Do you want to go little worm?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Sure.”

“Alright, have fun.” I smiled. “I’ll come down in a bit.”

“See you then Dad. Wanna come Wavey?”

Waverly shook her head. “No thanks. Thanks for the offer though.”

“Okay. See you later then.”

She smiled and waved her goodbye.

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

“You’re too good Nikki. I don’t like it.” Morgan pouted.

I giggled. “Let’s try a different game then.”

“What one Nikki?” He asked, a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Let’s go do the dancing one!”

“Okay!”

I put some coins in and it started up. I let Morgan pick the song, and we started dancing. It was pretty great, and Morgan was actually doing really well.

When we started to move onto harder songs, he started stumbling around. At the end of one, he fell and hit his head. He just stayed silent and grabbed onto my leg.

“Everything okay Morgie?” I asked.

He shrugged and tightened his grip.

“MOM!” I called.

Sarah raced over. “What’s up?”

“Morgan hit his head.”

She swooped him up into her arms. “Are you alright bud?”

He just rested his head on her shoulder without a word.

“Let’s go take you to see your Daddy, alright?”

“O-Okay.”

Mom looked at me and frowned. “KAITLYN!”

Kaitlyn ran over. “I’m here.” She panted slightly.

“Watch your sister, okay? I’m just taking Morgan back upstairs.”

“Oh, okay.”

I frowned. “I don’t need to be watched.”

Mom sighed. “Nicole, I don’t need this argument right now. I’ll be back.”

“Fine.” I muttered.

Mom left, just leaving Kaitlyn and I.

“Can I play?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Sure. You got any coins?”

She nodded and put a few in.

She let me pick the song and we had a good time for the most part, until my leg twitched and I fell onto the metal floor.

“Are you alright?” She asked.

“Fine.” I muttered, pulling myself to my feet, determined to finish the song.

We finished and I miraculously ended up winning.

“Nice moves.” An unknown voice said from behind me.

“Oh, thanks?”

I turned around and saw the voice. It belonged to a girl, about my age, with straight black hair styled into an undercut underneath a black fedora. She smiled at me.

“Y-You look f-familiar…” Kaitlyn murmured.

She shrugged. “Generally what happens with a generic appearance, anyway, what’s your names?”

“Nicole.” I introduced. “And that’s Kaitlyn.”

“I’m Blaze. Nice to meet you.” 

“Me too.” I smiled.

She chewed her gum. “Wanna grab a drink?”

“Um, where?

“There’s a place just around the corner.” She shrugged.

“I’ll have to ask Mom.”

“Come on, live a little.” She encouraged.

I turned to Kaitlyn. “Let’s go.”

She shook her head. “Y-You go, I’m just g-going to stay here.”

I sighed. “We’re going to have to stay together or we’re both going to get in trouble.”

“O-Okay…”

I sent Mom a quick text, before smiling at Blaze. “Let’s go.”

We followed her across the road from the hotel to a small little cafe.

“It’s nice here.” I smiled.

She nodded. “Wanna get some coffee or something?”

“Yeah, coffee would be great.”

We waited in the line and ordered, before taking a seat in a small booth at the front of the store.

“Are you guys just visiting?” She asked.

I nodded. “We’re from LA.”

“My Mom’s from there. I mostly stay with my Dad in San Fran, although I pop into town every now and then.”

“That’s cool.” I smiled.

They brought our drinks out, and Blaze took a sip of hers. Straight black.

“Thanks for bringing us here.”

“You got a boyfriend?”

I shook my head. “You?”

“I’m as gay as a rainbow unicorn.” She shrugged.

I giggled. “Same, honestly.

She raised an eyebrow. “Doing anything tonight?”

“Not that I know of?”

“You know the hotel restaurant?” She asked.

“Yeah?”

“Wanna meet me there at 6:30?” She smiled.

“Sounds good.” I beamed.

“M-Mom’s r-really m-mad…” Kaitlyn murmured, looking at her phone.

I shrugged. “It’ll be fine.”

“U-Um…” She mumbled, texting back.

“Don’t say anything stupid.” I warned.

She froze.

Blaze’s eyes darted between us. “Are you related?”

“Kinda sorta? Yeah?”

“I thought you were friends or something. You seriously look totally different.”

“We’re both adopted.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” She nodded.

“Yeah.”

Kaitlyn skulled her tea. “W-We really s-should head back Nic.”

“You can.” I shrugged.

“M-Mom won’t let me l-leave you i-in case y-you have a-another-”

I slammed my hand onto her mouth and chuckled awkwardly. “Don’t mind her.”

“Okay.” Blaze shrugged.

I released my hand from Kaitlyn’s mouth and gave her a threatening look.

“P-Please, we need to go, n-now.”

Blaze finished her coffee. “You can go. My Mom’s the same, don’t worry. One of the reasons I moved to live with Dad.”

“Fine.” I rolled my eyes. “Let’s go goody-two-shoes.”

Kaitlyn sighed and led me back up to the room.

As soon as we got there, Mom raced over. “I was so worried! What were you thinking?!”

“I was thinking I wanted to make a friend?” Then I smiled. “Guess who’s got a date tonight!”

“You’re not going.” She said sternly.

I frowned. “Yes I am.”

“You can’t expect to just run away without punishment.”

“You can ground me for the rest of the vacation, but I really need to go tonight!” I did my best to look sad. “This might be the only date I ever get Mom. Nobody wants to date a vegetable.”

“Well you should’ve thought of that before running off.”

“One, I walked, two, I texted you and told you.”

“No messages came through.” She said, showing me her phone.

I opened mine and showed that I sent it. “There, see? I did. Do you have credit?”

“I don’t know. Anyway, you shouldn’t have left.”

“B-But I met a girl!”

“You’re not going to see them again after we leave Nicole.”

“They live in LA sometimes?” I shrugged. “They live with their Dad most of the time in San Francisco, but their Mom lives in LA so I might see her sometimes.”

“Good. If you see her in LA you can go on a date then.”

“But Mom! She’s gonna be waiting for me!”

“I don’t care Nicole!” She raised her voice.

“DAD!” I called.

“What?” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“I have a date tonight and Mom says I can’t go.”

He listened as we both explained the sides of the story, and he looked between us.

“Under normal circumstances I’d probably say no…”

“But…?” I urged.

“This is your holiday. Have fun Nic.”

I grinned and wrapped him in a hug. “Thank you so much!”

“You  _ are  _ being punished though.” Mom frowned.

“I know, you can get to that after.”

She frowned at us before walking out of the room.

“I keep annoying her.” I mumbled.

“She’s just… protective.” Dad sighed. “And you’re not making it easy on her. Not that you should have to, it’s just quite a conflict of beliefs.”

I frowned. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault Nic. Anyway, what’s the boy’s name?”

“It’s a girl?” I whispered.

“Oh… right. Sorry. What’s her name?”

“Blaze.” I answered.

“Huh. Weird name. Cool though.”

I nodded. “Yeah, she’s pretty cool too.”

“Good for you Nic. What time?”

“6:30.”

“Cool.” He shrugged. “What do you want to do until then?”

“Just hang around.”

He smiled. “Wanna watch a movie?”

I nodded. “Sounds good.”

We sat on the couch and watched a movie. Kaitlyn joined us, but Mom wasn’t anywhere near us.

When the movie was over, I was starting to feel really bad and went to talk to Mom.

“Hey.” She mumbled, not looking up from her computer.

“I’m sorry…”

“Hmm?”

“I-I was being difficult, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She sighed. “I guess I forgot I was exactly like you at your age.”

“How so?”

She tried to hide a giggle. “There was a boy, and I actually snuck out to see him when my parents wouldn’t let me go out. I was so in love with him, it was ridiculous. I laugh about it now though, it’s sort of funny the things I did.”

“I suppose so.”

“Anyway, I’m not mad anymore. I understand your motive. You just stay safe tonight, okay? If you start to feel sick, call me straight away.”

I nodded. “Of course.”

She smiled. “Thanks. Sorry being sort of a meanie. I’ll try to loosen up.”

“No, it's okay.” I assured.

“Anyway, are you getting ready soon? It’s like, 6.”

“Oh, I should.”

She smiled. “What are you going to wear?”

I shrugged. “I honestly don't know.”

She opened her suitcase and threw me a dress. “It’s your colour.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

“Want me to do your makeup?” She offered.

Any other time, I would’ve declined, but this was a date. “Uh…. okay.”

She smiled. “Awesome. Go get changed.”

I went into the bathroom and got changed. I smoothed out the dress before going back out.

Sarah smiled. “You look awesome.”

“Thanks.” I blushed slightly.

“Come sit down, I’ll do your makeup. Do you want fancy or natural looking?”

“I don’t know. What do you think?”

“It honestly depends.” She responded. “It’s up to what you want, really.”

“Uh, natural?”

“Cool. Hold still for me.”

“Okay…” I said and sat as still as I could.

Sarah got to work, and finished at about 6:20.

“Thanks for helping me.” I smiled.

She smiled. “No problems. You need some money?”

“Yeah, maybe.”

She passed me a fifty. “Keep the change.”

“Oh, thanks.” I beamed. I quickly ran a comb through my hair. “I think I’m ready.”

“Okay. Have fun tonight bub. See you later. Don’t do anything illegal.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.” I assured, wrapping her in a hug.

She hugged me back. “See you later Nic. Be back by 10.”

I nodded. “Have a good night.” I smiled, before racing to get to the restaurant. 

Blaze was already there when I arrived, waiting in front of the restaurant in a stunning black dress.

“Hello.” I beamed.

She smiled. “Hey.”

I took her hand. “Let’s go in.”

We went in and got a table in the corner, and she smiled at me. “You look amazing.”

I blushed. “Oh, thanks. You too.” I smiled.

She grinned. “So, tell me about yourself.”

“Um, there’s not much to tell. My name is Nicole Urie, I like cooking, ya know, normal stuff.”

“Oh come on, there’s more than that. Tell me about your secret interests, the things that make you, you.”

“There’s really nothing…” I said nervously.

“Really?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Like seriously? No bands, no TV shows, no books, no secret favourite food that you won’t share with anyone? Nothing?”

“Nothing.”

She held her hand out. “Nice to meet you Nicole. I am now your resident bad influence.”

I grinned. “Nice to meet you too.”

She giggled. “Well, I’m Blaze Yolanda-Waterford, the hyphen is because split parents, I listen to the Arctic Monkeys and Coldplay, love Studio Ghibli movies, and I have a favourite book that I won’t tell anyone about because it’s too personal.”

I smiled. “That’s cool.”

The waiter came out and poured us some water, before handing us some menu’s and leaving.

“Thanks for inviting me out.” I smiled.

“No problems. You’re pretty cool.”

“You too.” I smiled.

Her phone started ringing. She pulled it out and sighed. “I’ll be right back.”

“Oh, okay.”

She walked out of the restaurant.

I quickly opened my phone and checked I still looked okay, before nervously tapping my finger on the table, waiting for her return.

She came and had an obviously fake smile plastered on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Mom’s being a pain. Still.” She sighed.

“What’s up with her?”

“She’s already telling me to look into colleges and degrees.” She mumbled. “She said, ‘I already had taken my entrance exam at your age.’” She mocked.

“Oh. Weird.”

“Yeah, She’s just an academic. It’s really annoying. I think she wants me to be exactly like her.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, I told her I’d cop her lecture after. She’s not exactly happy about this situation either.” She groaned.

“What situation? Like, you and me?”

“Just the fact that I’m dating.”

“My parents weren’t too pleased at first either.”

“I don’t care what our parents think. I love hanging out with you.”

I grinned. “Me too.”

“What are you gonna get?”

“Uh… probably the curry.”

“Ah, cool.”

“You?”

“Maybe the smoked chicken and avocado salad.”

“Fancy.”

She giggled. “Just tastes good.”

“You’ll have to let me cook for you sometime.” I giggled.

“That’d be nice.”

I nodded. “ Yep.”

The waiter came back and we placed our order.

“I like your eyes.” Blaze smiled. “They’re pretty.”

“Oh, thanks…” I giggled. “Yours are too.”

“After dinner, you wanna head to the games room?”

“Yeah, sure.” I smiled.

I noticed my hand had started twitching. I clenched my fist by my side and hoped it’d stop.

“Everything okay there?” She asked.

“Y-Yeah?” I stammered nervously.

“You look so freaked out.”

“I-I’m sorry.” I sniffled.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” She looked so sincere. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, i-it’s not your fault. I-It’s my stupid body.” I whimpered.

“Oh… okay.” She paused. “Let’s change the subject if it’s upsetting you. What’s your favourite movie?”

“I-I’m not sure…”

“Favourite TV series?”

“Um...any cooking show, generally.”

She grinned. “Cool.”

“W-What about you?”

“I have a soft spot for Gravity Falls.”

“That’s c-cool.” I whispered. I pulled out my phone and tried to text Mom about it.

They brought out our meals, and it smelled fabulous. I slapped my hand against the table, and thankfully, it stopped twitching enough so I could eat.

“This is so good.” Blaze grinned.

I nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

We finished up and paid the bill, before heading over to the games room.

“What do you want to play?” She asked.

I shrugged. “You pick.”

“What about a racing game?”

“Awesome.” I grinned.

We played a few rounds and played a few of the other games. It was starting to get late.

“I have to be back at the room by 10…” I admitted.

“Oh, that’s okay. Do you want me to walk you there?”

I smiled. “That’d be awesome.”

“What number are you?”

“385D.” I explained. “But I was wondering… do you want to swap numbers? I want to see you again.”

“Yeah, of course.” She smiled. We exchanged phone numbers before she took me up to the room.

Sarah answered the door. “Hey Nic! Oh, hi there.”

“Hi, I’m Blaze.” She introduced. “Thank you for allowing your daughter to go on a date with me.”

Sarah giggled. “No problem.”

“Well, I best be off.” She smiled, wrapping me in a hug. “Stay safe.”

I smile and hugged her back. “You too. See you around.”

She gave me a final smile before heading off. I was left with a grin, spread right across my face.

Mom laughed at me. “Good night, I take it?”

“Yeah, I had a lot of fun.”

“Good to hear.” She smiled. “Anyway, come in. It’s bedtime.”

I frowned. “Alright.”

She smiled and ruffled my hair, before sending me to bed.


	35. Chapter 34

“Morning Nic!” Mom smiled.

I grinned back. “Hi guys.”

“How was your night?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Awesome.” I grinned, putting the coffee pot on.

“Can I smell coffee?” Dad asked, racing out.

“I just put a pot on.” I explained.

“Can I have some?”

“Sure. It’ll be ready in a bit.”

Mom pursed her lips. “Nic, did you drink last night?”

“No?”

“You’re slurring.”

“I’m not really.”

“Y-You are…” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“I don’t think I had any drinks?”

Sarah sighed. “Alright. Let’s just hope it wears off.”

I nodded. “Sorry, I guess?”

“No, no, it’s not your fault Nic. I knew it was a symptom… I just didn’t think it’d show up so soon.”

“Yeah…” I mumbled.

“Coffee?” Dad asked again, changing the subject.

“Right, sorry.”

I poured some cups and distributed them, before sitting down at the table.

“What are we gonna do today?” Dad asked.

“Universal Studios.” Mom smiled.

“Oh, right.” He grinned. “Awesome.”

She nodded. “You guys want to go get ready?”

“Yep.” Kaitlyn and Brendon said, jumping up.

“I’ll just drink my coffee first.” I murmured.

Mom nodded. “Sounds good.”

After I’d finished, Mom handed me my medication.

“Thanks.” I mumbled.

“It’s okay Nic.” She paused. “If you’re not feeling up to this, you don’t have to go.”

“No, I’ll do it.” 

“You sure?”

“Yeah?” I said unsurely. “I-I guess?”

She hugged me silently.

“S-Sorry…”

“It’s not your fault Nic.”

“I-I know…”

She hugged me again. “Alright, go get ready and we’ll head off.”

I nodded and went to get ready.

Kaitlyn was very excited, and was bouncing up and down on my bed. “I’m so excited for today! And Ryan’s gonna be there too!”

“That’s cool.” I mumbled.

“Why are you sad?”

“Oh, no reason.”

“Stop lying.”

“I’m not!”

“I w-was just t-trying to h-help…”

“Sure.” I rolled my eyes.

She hung her head and left the room.

I groaned and got dressed before heading out.

“Alright, ready to go?” Sarah was seemingly forcing a smile. Kaitlyn looked glum, snuggled up in Brendon’s arms.

I nodded glumly.

“Why are you down Nic?”

“I snapped at Kaitlyn…” I murmured.

“We know that…. But why are you down?”

“I feel guilty, that’s all…”

“Oh, well, let’s go have a good time and forget about this little mishap.”

“Okay…” I mumbled.

We went out to the taxi rank and met up with Ryan and co. before getting in a maxi cab and heading to Universal Studios.

“Are we there yet?” Morgan asked.

“Not yet bud.” Ryan sighed.

“Are we there now?”

Ryan sighed. “Play games on my phone.”

“Okay!”

“What do you want to do at Universal Nic?” Ryan asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

His face shrivelled up. “Uh…. have you been drinking?”

“No…” I frowned.

“You’re um…. slurring.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“Oh… okay.”

I nodded glumly.

Sarah put an arm around me and rubbed my shoulder. “She’ll be fine Ryan.”

“Maybe..” I mumbled.

We arrived at the theme park and got our tickets. Thankfully it wasn’t very busy, and there weren’t many lines.

“We obviously chose a good time to come.” Dad observed.

“Yay!” Morgan giggled.

“Alright, stay with me Morgie.” Ryan said.

“Look Daddy! There’s a minion!”

Ryan smiled. “Let’s go say hi.”

Ryan and co. left us, and then it was just us Urie’s. 

“Where do we wanna go team?”

“Harry Potter castle!” Kaitlyn giggled.

“Alright, let’s go.”

We walked around, and I had to agree that this was quite a cool place.

“There’s so much stuff here!” Kaitlyn smiled.

Dad nodded. “There is. Stand together, I’ll get a picture.”

We all stood together and Dad managed to convince someone to take the photo for us.

He smiled when he looked at it. “This is awesome.”

“Can I see?” I asked.

He showed me.

“I love it.” I beamed.

He grinned. “Cool.”

“Where are we going next?” I asked.

“Let’s head into the village and go to the harry potter shop!” Kaitlyn smiled. “I want to do the wand test and get the wand!”

Sarah beamed excitedly. “Let’s go!”

Kaitlyn ended up spending half her holiday money in one shop. It seemed like she bought every second item.

“There’s so much cool stuff! I want it all!”

Dad chuckled. “Save some money for other places Kaitlyn.”

“I will!” She said collecting more things she wanted.

He laughed. “You gonna get some things Nic?”

I shrugged. “I dunno.”

We walked around and we both picked out a few things. Kaitlyn had to buy a backpack to carry all her stuff around.

“This backpack is so heavy.” She panted.

Sarah giggled. “You did a lot of shopping.”

“It was so worth it though.”

“Good for you bub. Let’s go do some rides!”

She nodded happily and we decided to go on a bunch of the super fast rides.

After the first few, Kaitlyn started getting sick.

“I’ll sit with her Bren.” Sarah assured. “You and Nic go and do some more. We’ll go shop more or something.”

Dad nodded and raced off with me to another ride. The line seemed long, but they let a bunch of people on at once so it wasn’t much of a wait.

“This is gonna be the best.” Dad grinned.

I nodded We got let into the ride and one of the operators secured us in the ride.

“All good?” The man asked.

We nodded. “Yep, awesome.”

He smiled before moving onto to help some others.

“God, I’m so scared but so excited.” I giggled.

“Same here.” He grinned.

The cart started moving and I grabbed his hand.

“Get ready.” He warned, a huge grin still on his face.

I grinned. “Let’s do this.”

The ride was so fast, and I could barely get a word out, but towards the end, the ride just stopped and we were left upside down.

“Don’t worry, they’re just trying to scare us.” Brendon chuckled.

“It’s working…” I mumbled.

The ride started again and we ended up at the end. “Make sure to collect your photos at the exit.”

We went to collect the photos. There were a whole bunch of us with stupid faces.

“These are great.” Brendon laughed, grabbing them.

I nodded. “They really are.”

We went out and met up with Ryan and Sarah and Kaitlyn and Waverly and Morgan at the restaurant for lunch. Kaitlyn had done even more shopping.

“Do you have  _ any _ money left?” I asked.

“Just a little bit….” She giggled. “But Mom said she’d give me more.”

I smiled. “Cool.”

Morgan was playing with a new toy. “Look at this Nikki!”

“That’s awesome Morgie.” 

He giggled. “Yep!”

“Should we get food?” Dad asked.

Mom nodded. “What do you girls want?”

“Well, all they really serve is burgers, so I’ll have one of them.”

“But  _ which _ one?”

“The normal one?”

“Okay….?”

“Cheeseburger.” Kaitlyn clarified. “I’ll just have some fries.”

Sarah nodded. “Awesome, okay.”

“This is cool.” Kaitlyn smiled, looking around.

I nodded. “It’s awesome.”

“Thanks for bringing me here.”

“It’s alright.” Dad assured.

My phone binged and I glanced down at it.

_ Blaze: Last night was fun. Want to hang again tonight? _

_ Nicole: Maybe. I’d like to. I’ll get back to you  _

_ Blaze: :) _

_ Nicole: :) _

Kaitlyn leaned over and giggled. “Nikki’s got a girlfriend.”

“I wish.” I sighed.

She giggled again.

“Blaze wants to know if I can hang out again tonight?” I sort of asked.

Mom blinked a few times. “Can you say that again bub?”

“Blaze wants me to hangout with her again tonight.”

“Uh… I, um, I…. say again?”

“Why?” I asked.

“Nic, you're babbling. I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Blaze, the girl from last night wants me to hang out with her again tonight.”

“Uh…. Bren? Do you understand?”

He shook his head. “Speak slowly Nic.”

I just huffed and sat with my head in my hands.

Kaitlyn tore a page out of her Hogwarts notebook and placed it in front of me, along with a pen. “Here, try this.”

I quickly wrote what I was trying to say before sliding it back to Mom and Dad.

“Ah. Um…. we’ll just wait and see, okay? I’m not sure if going out is the best idea when you’re, uh, like this.”

I nodded glumly.

“Aww, it’ll be okay bub.” She hugged me.

I shrugged, staying silent so I wouldn’t embarrass myself more.

We ate lunch, before heading off to do more attractions. I mainly communicated through pointing, as I didn’t really have any other means.

“Wanna go on this ride?” Dad asked, pointing to one in front of us.

I nodded hesitantly.

We lined up and it felt like we were waiting for ages.

“Not too long now.” Dad said, pointing at the 20 minute sign in front of us.

I nodded unsurely.

Finally, we made it to the front, and sat in the front row of the carriage.

“This should be fun.” He smiled.

“Yeah, maybe, as long as we don’t die.” I looked up at the giant drops.

Dad forced a smile, pretending he understood what I’d just said.

I sighed and fell silent once again.

He rubbed my shoulder. “This is going to be the best!”

I shrugged.

They put on the belt thing, and it was a bit tight, but I didn’t really have any way of telling them, so I just remained silent and hoped the ride would be over soon.

Dad was still really excited and his smile grew as the ride started.

“Hold on Nic!”

I nodded unsurely and held on as it got faster.

Dad was laughing and screaming the whole time, and I ended up enjoying it too. At the end, I got off and threw up in the garden.

“Are you alright Nic?”

I nodded and wiped my mouth on my sleeve.

He smiled. “Good to know.”

I nodded awkwardly and pointed at a drinks stand.

He nodded and led me to the stand. 

“Water okay?” He asked.

I nodded.

He brought the drink and handed me the bottle.

“Thanks.” I mumbled, taking a sip.

He smiled slightly.

“Wait, did you understand me?”

His smile dropped.

I rolled my eyes and sat down on a bench as I sipped the drink silently.

Kaitlyn and Sarah came over and Brendon explained what happened.

“Maybe we should head home…”

I nodded and got up from my seat.

Sarah took my bag and we called a cab to go back to the hotel. I lay silently on my bed, wondering what I was going to say to Blaze.

_ Blaze: Hey. I’m bored. How are you? _

_ Nicole: Not so good. Threw up. I’m a bit under the weather. _

_ Blaze: That sucks. I hope you feel better soon _

_ Nicole: Thanks :) _

_ Blaze: Want me to visit? We can watch a movie on my laptop or something. _

_ Nicole: I’ll have to decline, I’m sorry. Maybe some other time? _

_ Blaze: Sure, I guess. I guess it’s a no on tonight then? _

_ Nicole: No, I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad... _

_ Blaze: Nah. It’s not your fault. Don’t worry, just focus on getting better. _

_ Nicole: I will, thanks. _

_ Blaze: :) _

_ Nicole: :) _

“How are you feeling bub?” Sarah asked, sitting down next to me.

I shrugged and stayed silent.

“Can you try and say something bub? Let’s see if it improved.”

“I don’t like your luck.” I mumbled.

“I won’t eat your cheese?” She guessed.

I frowned and shook my head.

“Sorry bub.”

I frowned and fiddled with my fingers.

“You wanna come watch some TV with us?”

I sighed and nodded.

She smiled. “Cool.”

I trudged out to the lounge and sat silent as we watched a weird TV show.

“Feeling better Nic?” Dad asked.

I shook my head.

“Aww. Come sit with me?”

I shrugged and snuggled up beside him.

He put an arm around me protectively and snuggled while we watched the TV.

I thought of a bunch of stuff I wanted to say but couldn’t and was left frowning.

Kaitlyn brought out some Harry Potter candy and offered it to everyone.

“Thanks.” I mumbled, even though they wouldn’t understand.

Kaitlyn smiled. “No problems Nic.”

My eyes widened and I smiled slightly.

We watched the TV until dinner, and we went downstairs to the restaurant. It was going okay at first, I was able to communicate what I wanted to eat with pointing at the menu, and then I spotted Blaze two tables down.

I tapped on Dad’s shoulder and pointed at Blaze before walking over there.

“What are you doing Nic?” He asked, trailing behind me unsurely.

I walked over to her and waved, forcing a small smile.

“Oh, hey Nicole. I thought you were sick.”

I shrugged and pointed to Dad.

“She’s kind of got this disease thing?” He answered unsurely. “Nic, I don’t know how much you want me to tell.”

I rolled my eyes and gestured for him to keep going.

“Okay… she’s got Huntington’s Disease, which is like a degenerative disease of the brain and mostly it sucks, and at the moment it’s affecting her speech and she’s unable to form coherent words.”

I nodded and frowned slightly.

“Too much?” Dad asked unsurely.

I shook my head.

“Okay, good.” He breathed.

I tried to say something to demonstrate. “Hello.” I tried to say.

Blaze blinked a few times. “Uh…”

I waved to try and make sense of what I said.

“So yeah, that’s what’s going on.” Brendon finished.

I nodded, feeling awful, but forced myself to smile.

“Oh, well, that’s awful…” Blaze trailed off. “Sorry, I uh, I don’t know what to say.”

I shrugged.

“D’ya maybe want to watch a movie after dinner?” She asked. “I mean, it doesn’t involve talking, and I still like you.”

I smiled slightly and looked to Dad as a way of asking.

“Sure.” Dad nodded.

I wrapped him in a hug, a smile forming on my face.

“Alright, well, we should get back to the table. Nice to meet you Blaze.”

Blaze smiled. “You too.” 

We sat back down at the table to eat, and Dad explained to Mom what was happening after dinner.

“Alright sounds good.” She confirmed.

I grinned. “Awesome.”

Our food arrived and we sat quietly eating.

“This is amazing.” Kaitlyn murmured, eating it.

I nodded and continued eating.

After dinner we headed upstairs, and 20 minutes later there was a knock at the door.

I answered it and found Blaze at the door.

“Hey Nic.” She smiled. “I brought my computer.”

I smiled and gestured her inside. She looked around at the room, almost in awe. “This is a suite, right?”

I nodded.

“That’s awesome!”

I chuckled and led her through to my room. We sat down on my bed and she opened her computer.

“Let’s watch some Studio Ghilbi. Ever seen Spirited Away?”

I shook my head.

“Well, that’s what we’re watching!” She giggled, opening it up. I turned the lights off for a cinema experience, and we snuggled up at the end of the bed. It was honestly the best I’d felt all day.

“You’re really beautiful, you know that?” She asked.

I giggled. ‘You too.”

“Uh…”

I remembered and my face fell.

“Hey, don’t frown princess. Do you mind if I try something?”

I shook my head.

She leaned in and pressed her lips to mine.

I felt my face grow red, and in the frenzy, I kissed back.

It was amazing until Dad walked in.

I froze, and Blaze did too. 

“Oh, uh, sorry. I’ll go.” He apologised.

Once he left, Blaze giggled.

“You’re a pretty good kisser Nic.”

I blushed slightly and smiled.

She looked at the time. “Well, I should probably go. Mom wants me to call, and Dad wants me back by 11. See you around.”

I nodded and waved her goodbye.

She hugged me and left the apartment.

Once she had left, Dad came back in.

“Uh… hi.” I murmured.

He raised an eyebrow before sitting down beside me.

I blushed and looked down at my lap.

“Sorry for, uh….ruining your moment.”

I grabbed a piece of paper.

_ Not your fault. Thanks for not being mad. _

He shrugged. “I don’t care.”

I giggled.  _ Thanks. _

“It’s fine.” He assured.

I just smiled.

“So did you have fun with her?”

I nodded. 

“That’s awesome.” He smiled.

I giggled.  _ It really was. _

“I’m glad you had a good time.”

_ I’m going to get ready for bed now. _

“Okay. Goodnight Nic.”

_ Goodnight Dad. _

He smiled and ruffled my hair before getting up and leaving.

Once he was gone I giggled, remembering the night’s events. After getting changed, I climbed into bed, still with a smile on my face.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Rise and shine Nic! We’re going for a walk.”

I groaned and rolled over.

“Come on, you’re supposed to be the athletic one.”

“Go away.” I murmured, knowing all they were hearing was gibberish.

“Please?” He asked.

I swatted him away and attempted to pull the blanket over my head, with little success.

“Fine.” He mumbled, before leaving.

About an hour later, Mom came and sat down next to me on the bed. “Come on Nic, time to get up.”

I groaned and shook my head.

“Yes, come on. Up you get.”

“I’m not going.” I mumbled.

Mom pulled the blanket off me. “Rise and shine Nikki!” She chirped in a sing-song voice, like she was speaking to a child.

“Go away.”

She pulled me into a sitting position and smiled. “Get ready, we’re packing up and heading to another town today.”

I groaned. “I don’t wanna pack up.”

Sarah frowned. “Say that again bub?”

I groaned and pulled myself out of bed.

“Nic, come on. Just say it slowly.” She sighed.

“I don’t want to pack up.” I repeated slowly.

“You don’t want to pack up?” Sarah asked.

I nodded.

“Why’s that?”

“Cause I’m lazy.” I said slowly.

Mom frowned. “I’ll make you some coffee, and you take your medicine, and then we’ll do it.”

I rolled my eyes but nodded.

She led me to the kitchen, where Kaitlyn was sketching. “Hi Nic!”

“Hey.” I mumbled.

“Want some tea bub?” Sarah asked her, boiling some water.

Kaitlyn nodded.

Sarah made drinks and distributed them, passing me my medication too.

“Thanks.” I mumbled.

Dad walked in and sat down next to me. “Hey everyone!”

I smiled slightly and waved.

“How was your walk Dad?” Kaitlyn asked.

“It was awesome.” He grinned.

“Sorry for not coming with you…”

“It’s fine.” He shrugged.

“Am I speaking normally again?” I asked.

“Yeah?”

I grinned. “Awesome.”

“Sarah?” He asked, wrapping her in a hug.

“Yeah?” She responded.

“Can you pack for your lazy husband?” He fluttered his eyelashes.

Sarah laughed and swatted him off. “Nope. I’ve already committed to helping Nic. Maybe Kaitlyn will help you.”

“But Sarah!” He whined.

“No buts. Ask Kaitlyn.”

“People frown upon child slavery.”

“Asking your daughter to help you pack isn’t child slavery. Do it yourself if you’re so against it.”

“But I’m lazy!” He complained.

“Too bad.”

“Uh….I already used all my energy Is there such thing as anti-ritalin?”

“It’s called caffeine.” I giggled. “Want some?”

“Hell yes.”

Sarah poured him a mug and he smiled. “Thanks.”

“Drink up.”

He quickly downed it and smiled. “Come on little worm, let’s go power through some packing!”

“Okay.” She smiled slightly.

They left, leaving Sarah and I.

“We should start too.”

I grunted in disapproval.

She led me to the room and did most the work, folding and putting all my clothes back in my bags.

I stood there watching for most of it, trying not to draw attention to myself.

“Alright, you’re clothes are done. Put all your extra stuff in your backpack.”

“Sure.” I shrugged, sitting on the bed.

She went into her room to pack.

My phone dinged.

_ Blaze: Whatcha up to? _

_ Nicole: Packing. _

_ Blaze: Creepy. I’m doing the same thing. _

_ Nicole: What a strange coincidence. _

_ Blaze: Where are you heading off to? _

_ Nicole: Not sure. _

_ Blaze: We’re heading off to Osaka _

_ Nicole: That’s cool. _

_ Blaze: Have you been on the bullet train yet? _

_ Nicole: No, is it cool? _

_ Blaze: It is awesome! I hope you get to try it. It’s how we’re heading to Osaka. _

_ Nicole: That's awesome. _

_ Blaze: I had fun last night _

_ Nicole: So did I :) _

_ Blaze: Want to hang out before we have to leave? _

_ Nicole: I’ll see if I can _

“Hey Mom!” I called.

“Yeah, what’s up?” She asked, coming into the room.

“Can I hang out with Blaze before we go?”

“Sure.” She shrugged. “We don’t have much time though.”

I was practically already out the door.

“Bye Nicole!”

“See you later Mom!”

I met up with Blaze in the games room.

“Hey Beautiful.” She smiled.

“Hello.” I beamed, wrapping her in a hug.

She smiled. “You seem better today.”

I nodded. “Thanks for sticking with me through that.”

“Oh, no problems.” She shrugged. “It wasn’t your fault. And to be honest, I don’t even remember what your Dad said you had.”

“It’s called Huntington’s disease, but that’s not important. God, I love you so much.”

She giggled. “I won’t pay attention to it. I love you for you.”

“Thank you Blaze.”

“No problems. Want to play some games?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

We played games until Blaze’s Dad came down and told her it was time to go.

“Bye Blaze. I’m gonna miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you too Beautiful. Text me, kay? All the time.”

“Of course Blaze. All the time.”

She smiled and gave me a kiss, before saying goodbye and leaving.

I went back up to the room and everyone was rushing around.

“Hey Nic.” Mom smiled. “Grab your things, we have to go or we’re going to miss our train.”

“Oh, okay.” I said, grabbing my bags from my room.

“I’m so excited!” Kaitlyn giggled.

“So am I.” I smiled sadly, thinking about not seeing Blaze dampening my mood.

“Osaka here we come!” Dad grinned, opening the door to the room.

I smiled slightly and walked out of the room.

We checked out of the the hotel and ended up at a train station.

I quickly pulled out my phone to text Blaze.

_ Nicole: We might reunite after all _

_ Blaze: I can see you right now. _

I looked up and saw Blaze waving to me. I smiled and waved back.

“Hey, your girlfriend’s here!” Kaitlyn giggled, a lot louder than needed.

My face went red.

“You can go say hi bub.” Mom giggled.

I put my bags down and raced over to Blaze, wrapping her in a hug.

She giggled. “Hey Nic.”

“I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” She hugged me tightly.

“I love you Blaze.”

“Love you too Nic.”

“I’m a bit nervous about this bullet train thing….”

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s fun as hell.” She giggled. “What’s your seat number?”

I shrugged. “Dunno.”

“I’m in 104D.”

“I think Mom has my ticket.”

“Wanna go over there? I don’t think I’ve formally met your family. Other than your sister.”

“Sure, let’s go.”

We walked over to Mom and Dad. “Hey guys, this is Blaze, I don’t think you’ve formally met.”

“Hello.” Mom smiled. “I’m Sarah, this is Brendon.” She introduced.

“Lovely to meet you both.” Blaze smiled. “I’m Blaze.”

“That name’s so cool.” Brendon giggled.

She laughed. “Yeah, it is. Not so bad yourself.”

“So where are you headed? Osaka?” He asked.

She nodded. “Yep. You guys?”

“Same.” He answered.

She giggled and took my hand. “Awesome.”

“Where is your seat?”

“104D”

“We’re in 31, A, B, C,D.”

“Those are some awesome seats.”

“I guess so.” Dad smiled. 

Blaze’s Dad then walked over. “Hello.”

“Hello.” Dad smiled. “I’m Brendon, this is Sarah.”

“Declan.” He introduced.

“Lovely to meet you.”

“You too.” He smiled.

We were interrupted by the train pulling into the station.

“Well it was nice meeting you guys.” Mom smiled.

“You too. See you around.”

I hugged Blaze before she went to get on.

“Onwards!” Brendon giggled, leading us to our seats. Kaitlyn and I sat at the windows, so we could see the scenery.

“This is gonna be awesome.” Kaitlyn grinned.

I nodded in agreement. “Super awesome.”

Dad smiled. “I’m glad you’re excited.

The window seats were actually quite a waste as the train moved too fast to see anything. It was still very cool though.

Dad yawned. “Waking up early wasn’t a good idea.”

“You can have a sleep Bren.” Mom shrugged.

“Good.” He mumbled before falling asleep almost immediately.

I chuckled. “This is cool.”

Mom nodded. “It certainly is.”

We arrived in Osaka and went to the hotel. Again, we had another suite. This one was even fancier than the last.

“This is amazing!”

“Sure is.” Mom laughed.

“I’m going back to bed.” Dad mumbled.

“Alright. Goodnight Bren.”

“Night girls.”

I put my bags down in my room and went to read the hotel guidebook on things to do. Discovering there was a swimming pool, I asked Kaitlyn if she wanted to join me.

“Sure.” She shrugged.

“Awesome.” I grinned. “I’ll just get changed.”

We both got changed, and Mom ended up coming with us.

We walked down to the pool, and I grinned. “There’s even a waterslide!”

Kaitlyn and I both took numerous turns going down the slide.

“This is the best!” I giggled, splashing her with water.

She nodded, before splashing me back.

We played in the water for quite a while, until Mom instructed that it was time to go get ready for dinner.

We kept mucking around the entire way, and Dad was getting fed up.

“CALM DOWN!”

“O-Okay….” Kaitlyn whispered.

“Where are we going for dinner?” I asked.

“Wherever we end up.” He stated.

“Oh.”

“Get dressed, we’re about go.”

I got changed into some semi-nice clothes and waited for Dad to be ready. My phone dinged.

_ Blaze: Wanna meet up for dinner? _

_ Nicole: I’m about to go out with my family. _

_ Blaze: See you tomorrow then maybe? _

_ Nicole: I hope so :) _

_ Blaze: :) _

_ Nicole: Love you. _

_ Blaze: Love you too. _

_ Nicole: I’ll talk to you later. _

_ Blaze: See you then :) _

“Hurry up Nicole!” 

“I’m coming!”

As soon as I went out, I was ushered out of the suite and we started walking down the streets.

“I’m hungry.” Kaitlyn whispered.

“I know bub, we’re just looking for somewhere to eat.”

“Can we just pick one?”

Mom shrugged and continued following Dad.

We walked around for a further hour, unable to decide.

“Can we just go somewhere?” Kaitlyn began to whine.

“Just be quiet.” Dad mumbled.

“What are you looking for exactly Bren?” Sarah asked.

“I don’t know.” He grumbled.

“Can we just eat here then?”

“Fine.”

We took a seat. Brendon looked angry, Mom and Kaitlyn looked tired, and I sort of wished I’d ditched them to hang out with Blaze.

“What do you want to eat?” Mom sighed.

I just pointed.

She just went up to the counter and placed our orders before coming back.

“Ready for your concert tomorrow Dad?’ Kaitlyn asked.

“No.” He answered simply.

“Oh”

“I don’t even wanna perform.” He mumbled.

“But people bought tickets….”

“I know I have to, doesn’t mean I want to though.”

“At least you have Ryan!” Kaitlyn chirped.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He murmured.

Food was brought out and we ate in awkward silence.

“What are we gonna do when we go back to the hotel?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Probably just watch some TV bub.” Sarah responded.

Kaitlyn nodded. “Sounds good.”

_ Blaze: What hotel are you staying in? _

“What’s the hotel called?” I asked.

“Mitsui Garden Hotel.” Sarah answered.

“Okay thanks.”

_ Nicole: It’s called Mitsui Garden Hotel _

_ Blaze: ;) _

_ Nicole: What are you up to? _

_ Blaze: Out for dinner with Dad at the moment. It’s at this weird toilet-themed restaurant. Of course he had to find this place. _

_ Nicole: That sounds so weird. _

_ Blaze: It seriously is. I’ll send you some photos. _

_ Nicole: Okie. :) _

She sent me through a bunch of pictures of the toilet restaurant, and I had to agree that it was pretty weird.

_ Nicole: Is the food good at least? _

_ Blaze: We haven’t had it yet, but it literally comes in toilet shaped bowls and stuff. _

_ Nicole: Weird. _

_ Blaze: Definitely. I’ll give you an update on what it tastes like. _

_ Nicole: I’ll be waiting. _

“Put your phone away Nicole.” Dad told me firmly.

“Sorry...I was talking to Blaze.”

“Well Blaze can wait until after dinner.”

“Okay….” I whispered.

Sarah sighed. “What is  _ wrong  _ Brendon?!”

“Nothing.” He stated simply.

“Then why are you snapping at everyone?”

“I’m not!”

“Yes you are. What is wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong and I’m not snapping at everyone.”

Sarah frowned. We finished dinner and went back to the hotel.

“I’m going to bed.” Dad grumbled before disappearing into the bedroom.

“Sorry about him.” Sarah sighed.

“It’s fine.” Kaitlyn shrugged.

_ Blaze: Food was actually not bad, besides looking like poop. Anyway, what’s your room number? _

_ Nicole: 43B. _

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

I answered it and Blaze immediately wrapped me in a hug.

I smiled. “Hey Blaze.”

Blaze giggled and turned to Sarah. “Mrs Urie, may I please take your gorgeous daughter out for some coffee?”

“Yeah, sure.” Sarah shrugged.

She grinned. “Let’s go Beautiful.”

I smiled and took her hand as we walked down to a cafe.

After ordering some coffee, she grinned. “How was dinner?”

“It was alright…” I mumbled.

“Why the long face?”

“Dad was just in a bad mood, and everyone’s tired.”

“Fair enough.” She shrugged.

“But now I’m here, so that’s good.”

“That’s awesome news.” Blaze giggled.

“I guess so.” I giggled.

“I’m so glad we ended up at the same place.”

“Yeah.” I smiled.

We drank our coffee and went for a walk down by the hotel koi pond.

“It’s nice here.”

“It really is.”

“So why are you going around Japan?” I asked.

“Dad’s business.” She smiled. “He goes on a lot of overseas trips, and he gets an extra ticket for me every time. It beats hanging at home.”

“That’s cool.” I smiled.

She nodded. “What about you?”

“Dad’s touring with his band. And family holiday.”

“That’s pretty awesome.”

I nodded. “It is.”

“Got any major plans for the rest of the trip?”

“Not really. Just a few more concerts. We’re making up the rest as we go.”

“That sounds awesome. My trips are always so structured.”

“Interesting.”

“It sort of sucks though, because I have to go back to my Mom for the school term when I get back.”

“It can’t be  _ that _ bad.”

“She spends half her time yelling at me to study and look at colleges and stuff. She has this idea that I’m going to be a genius, and that I just don’t put enough effort in to ‘reveal my talent’.”

“Well I don’t know how to help you.”

“Eh. I’m just complaining. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. You’ll be able to hang out with me though, that’s a good thing, I hope.”

She giggled. “Yeah, it is.”

“And then I can meet your crazy academic Mom.”

Blaze rolled her eyes. “I’ll be lucky if she ever lets me leave the house.”

“I shall kidnap you.” I giggled.

Blaze giggled. “It’s not kidnapping if it’s consensual.”

“Good.”

She checked her watch. “Damn, I gotta head back. Thanks for coming out with me.”

“Alright, um. Bye.”

“Want me to walk you back?”

“Yes please…”

She walked me back up to the room, where we kissed before I went back inside.

“Hey bub. It’s getting a bit late. Wanna go get changed for bed?”

I nodded. “Course Mom.”

She looked like she was about to go to bed herself.

“You can go to sleep, I’m going to do that now.”

“I was just making sure you got home safe.”

“Well, I’m home now. You should sleep, you look exhausted.”

“I will soon, don’t worry. Sleep well bub.”

“You too Mom.”


	36. Chapter 35 - Home On The Range

“Tell Ryan I’m not performing.” Dad grumbled when I tried to wake him up.

“Come on, it’s breakfast time,” I sighed.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Doesn’t matter. The rest of us are and Mom’s not going without you.”

“Just tell her to go so you can eat.”

“We already tried that.”

He sighed and pulled himself out of bed.

I grinned. “Thanks Dad.”

“Go tell Sarah I’ll be out in a moment. I’ve just gotta get dressed.

“Okay. See you in a minute.”

He smiled slightly before I left.

I went out to Mom and Kaitlyn and sat down beside him. “He’ll be out in a minute.”

Mom nodded. “Alright, that’s good.”

“I’m hungry.” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“We’ll head out in a second bub.”

She nodded.

Dad came out. “Sorry for taking so long.”

“It’s okay Bren. Ready to go?”

He nodded. “Yep. All good.”

We walked down to the hotel restaurant and got a table.

“So did you all have a good sleep?” Dad asked.

I nodded. “It was great.”

“That’s good.” He smiled.

“How was your date last night?” Kaitlyn asked.

“It was good.” I blushed slightly.

She giggled. “Is it official yet?”

“I think it’s close…”

Kaitlyn giggled again.

“And apparently she’s gonna be in LA at the start of the school term.” I smiled.

“Awesome.” Mom smiled.

“Yeah, it’s great.” I beamed.

“Does she know about… you know…”

I nodded.

“Oh, that’s good!” Sarah smiled. “Oh good news.”

I picked up the menu and started perusing, waiting for someone to talk.

“I’ll have the pancakes.” Dad stated.

“I’ll have the same.” Kaitlyn said.

“So will I. Nic?” Mom asked.

“I’ll just have the same.”

“Awesome. I’ll go order.”

We sat around, all still drowsy, so conversation was limited.

“What are we doing today?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Just walking around before soundcheck.” Dad answered.

“Cool.”

“Is there something you wanna do?”

“Not really. Just wondering.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Hey Dad,” I asked. “Can I invite Blaze to the concert tonight?”

“Uh...yeah, sure, if you want to.”

I grinned. “Thanks.”

“It’s alright.” He shrugged.

Breakfast was brought out to us and we ate fairly quickly, before we descended upon the town.

“Do we want to shop, do we want to just look at pretty things, I need answers.” Dad asked.

“Let’s shop!” Kaitlyn giggled, pulling out her wallet.

“Okay.” He said, before we started weaving in and out of random shops.

The rest of Kaitlyn’s money was gone by the end, but she seemed pretty happy with all her purchases.

“Alright, let’s head back to the hotel now.” Dad said.

“Sounds good to me.” Mom smiled.

At the hotel, we all just crashed on the couch and watched some TV to pass the time.

_ Blaze: Doing anything tonight? _

_ Nicole: Dad’s got a concert. I was actually wondering if you’d want to come? _

_ Blaze: That sounds seriously awesome. Let me just go ask my Dad. _

_ Blaze: He said I can come :D _

_ Nicole: :D That’s great _

_ Blaze: He can’t drive me though, can I carpool with you guys? _

_ Nicole: I’ll ask _

“Hey Dad, can Blaze come in our taxi or whatever to the concert?”

“Yeah, she should be able to.”

“Thanks.” I smiled.

_ Nicole: Dad says that’s cool. _

_ Blaze: Awesome _

_ Nicole: :D _

_ Blaze: I can’t wait  _

_ Nicole: Me neither _

_ Blaze: Why wait? Wanna come down to my room to watch movies until we have to go? _

_ Nicole: I’ll ask Dad _

“Dad, can I go chill with Blaze until we have to go?”

“Uh…..sure, whatever.”

I smiled. “Thanks. You’re the best.”

_ Nicole: He said yes. Where’s your room? _

_ Blaze: 17A _

_ Nicole: On my way. Want me to bring some weird Japanese candy? _

_ Blaze: Sure, why not? _

_ Nicole: Awesome. See you soon. _

_ Blaze: :) _

I grabbed the candy and made my way down to the room, where I knocked on the door. Blaze answered with a smile.

“Good to see you again.” She said, before planting a kiss on my cheek.

I giggled. “Good to see you too.”

“Come in, let’s get comfy.”

I nodded and walked inside. “Nice room.”

“Eh, not as fancy as yours.”

I giggled. “Still cool, nonetheless.” 

“You bring the candy?”

I nodded and held up the few bags I’d brought.

She grinned. “God, I love you.”

I beamed. “I love you too.”

“What do you want to watch?” She asked, lying on the bed.

I shrugged. “Whatever.”

She put on a movie, and we snuggled together to watch it.

“I love you so much.” She whispered as the movie ended, pulled me in close before going in for a kiss.

I smiled and kissed back. “I love you too.”

“Now, what should we watch next?”

I checked the time. “I think we have to go soon.”

She sighed. “Okay then.”

“We could just kiss?”

“Good enough for me.” She breathed before reconnecting our lips.

The door opened, and Blaze’s father stood there, speechless.

“D-Dad, I can explain…”

“Save it. You’re not going out tonight either.”

She grabbed my hand, and literally pulled me out of the room at top speed. We ran all the way to the elevator, and she closed the door before her Dad could get to us.

She breathed a sigh of relief and leaned up against the wall.

“What just happened?” I asked.

“As much as I love my Dad…” She puffed. “His homophobic tendencies are a bit of a drag.”

“Yeah….”

“At least he didn’t go after you.” She half-smiled. “He did that last time to the other girl.”

“Oh, that sucks.”

“Mmm. Anyway, the one good thing about my Mom is that she actually accepts it, so at least we don’t have to worry about that when we get to LA.”

“Well that’s good.”

She nodded. “Anyway, I’ll give him tonight to cool off.”

“Will everything be okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, he just needs time.”

“Okay…”

She gave me a quick peck. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’ll try not to.”

The elevator opened at our floor, and I led her to the room. “Want some water?”

“Sure.”

I poured some glasses and handed one to her. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. That’s pretty normal.”

I frowned. “That sucks.”

She shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to. Nobody should have to.”

“It doesn’t matter. Luckily he doesn’t really hurt me or anything. He threatens to, but that’s about it.”

“That’s still awful though. It counts as verbal abuse, you realise?”

She shrugged. “I don’t care.”

“Well, if it gets bad, you’re always welcome here.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

“You girls ready to go?” Mom asked, walking in.

“Yep.” Blaze smiled.

“Cool. The taxi will be here any minute. Grab your things.”

I just grabbed my wallet before we all piled into the taxi.

“You ever been to a concert before?” Kaitlyn asked Blaze.

Blaze shrugged. “Not a big one.”

“Well, we’ll be backstage so we won’t see the front, but it’s still a pretty cool place to be.” I smiled.

“Cool.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I squeezed her hand.

“I’ll be fine Nicole.”

“Does that mean you’re not fine now?”

“What happened?” Kaitlyn asked, confused.

“My dad’s being a pain again.” She sighed.

“How?”

“He’s a homophobe.”

“Oh…” Mom whispered.

“Doesn’t matter though.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. “It’s fine.”

Mom nodded unsurely.

“Let’s not worry about me.”

“We’re here.” Dad announced from the front.

“Let’s go!” Kaitlyn grinned.

We walked in through backstage, and were all given passes. Dad made his way to the rehearsal room, where Ryan was already waiting with his kids.

Kaitlyn raced over with Brendon and wrapped Ryan in a hug.

Ryan smiled. “Hey little Urie. What’s up?”

“Not much, I just missed you.” She murmured.

Ryan smiled. “Oh hey Nicole, who’s your friend?”

“This is Blaze.” I smiled and took her hand.

“Lovely to meet you, I’m Ryan, Ryan Ross.”

“It’s good to meet you too.” She smiled.

“Let’s head to the dressing room.” Mom smiled, leading all us kids away from Dad and Ryan.

We all went to the dressing room and immediately made a mess of the chairs, sprawling them all everywhere.

“We should put them in a tower!” Morgan giggled.

“Maybe after Morgie.”

“What are we going to do with them then?”

“Sit down and wait.”

“Aww. That’s boring.”

“I know, I’m sorry Morgan.” Waverly apologised.

“How long till Daddy goes on stage?”

“An hour.” Mom answered.

“Aww. Can we get ice cream?”

“Not right now.”

“What can we do then?”

“Here, play on this.”: Waverly handed him her phone.

“Thanks Wavey.” He giggled.

“It’s alright Morgie.”

“I brought some Harry Potter playing cards.” Kaitlyn smiled, holding up the deck. “Who wants to play?”

“I will.” Wavery said.

“Me too.” Blaze agreed.

I shrugged and joined in.

We played a multitude of games, until Mom came and informed us that Dad and Ryan were about to go onstage.

Morgan raced out to the side of the stage, and we all followed.

“Look! There they are!” He giggled, jumping up and down.

Mom smiled and nodded. “Yep, that’s them.”

“I wanna go out and sing with them!”

“Well that’s not our choice Morgie.”

He ran out onto the stage before anyone could stop him.

“Morgan!” Waverly called.

“Oh, hey bud.” Ryan chuckled awkwardly. “Why don’t you go back to your sister?”

Morgan hugged Ryan’s leg before running back to Waverly.

The band launched into their set, and Blaze seemed to be pretty into it. We held hands, and sort-of danced along backstage.

“This is awesome.” She beamed.

I smiled. “It really is. Made better by you being here.”

She blushed. “Oh, thanks.”

“This one goes out to my daughter!” Brendon called. “And her girlfriend!” He launched into Girls/Girls/Boys.

Blaze’s smile grew and we launched into dance.

When the concert was over, we didn’t really want to leave. We’d had the best time. But it was getting late, so we headed back to the hotel. When we got there, however, Blaze’s Dad was waiting for us in the lobby.

Blaze froze and her grip on my hand tightened.

He marched over and grabbed her arm, pulling her off of me and towards the elevator.

She was silent the entire way, and I just stood there, shocked.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” Dad called.

“Taking my daughter to our room.” Blaze’s dad growled.

“But why the violence?”

“This isn’t violent at all.”

“Y-You’re hurting me.” Blaze whispered.

“Shut up.” He muttered.

“Can you let go of her?” Dad asked. “She’ll follow you, she’s a good kid. You don’t need to drag her.”

“Just mind your own business.” He growled threateningly.

“Considering she’s my daughter’s girlfriend, this  _ is  _ my business.” He stated. “Now, let go of her.”

“Why should I listen to you? You should be busy trying to fix your failure of a daughter.”

“My daughter isn’t a failure at all. She’s a fantastic young woman who makes me proud every day. And your daughter is too.”

“They’re disgraces. Unnatural, even.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re attracted to their own gender! It’s disgusting!”

“They can’t change who they are. There’s nothing wrong with being gay.” He told him firmly. “It’s 2016. People have the right to be who they want to be.”

“Keep your nose out of this.” He said, yanking Blaze into the elevator.

Brendon chased after them, and we all ended up in the elevator together.

“You should just respect our privacy.” Blaze’s Dad spat.

“I would, if you weren’t abusing your child.”

“I’m not!” He protested. “It’s not like I’m here hitting her, am I?!”

“No, but you’re verbally abusing her and cutting off circulation to her arm.”

“One, verbal abuse doesn’t exist, and two, her arm is fine.”

“Her arm isn’t fine, and yes, it does.”

“What isn’t fine about this?!” He asked, waving her arm around.

“All of it.” Dad stated. “Let her go, and stop yelling at her when she’s done nothing but be herself.”

Her Dad made a huge deal about dropping her arm. “Better?” He scoffed.

“Thank you.” Dad nodded. Blaze was rubbing the hand-shaped mark that was appearing.

“Good. Now you can keep your nose out of my business. Also, I do wish you’d stop saying that my daughter is your daughter’s girlfriend, since my daughter isn’t allowed to date females.”

“Well, they are dating.” Dad shrugged. “I figure I should call it what it is.”

“Well it’s not allowed. Keep your daughter away from mine.”

Blaze wouldn’t make eye contact with me, and kept rubbing her arm.

“I don’t see the need to go that far. I think they make quite a cute couple.”

“That’s irrelevant. They are not to interact.”

“Why don’t we ask the girls what they think about this? They’re both old enough to make decisions for themselves.”

“They obviously don’t make good decisions. This discussion is over.”

“Well, it’s not, because you’re still bullying your daughter for no reason.”

“I’m not. We’ll be leaving now.” He grumbled, as the elevator dinged.

He got out, but Blaze didn’t move.

He grabbed onto her hand and pulled her out of the elevator.

“Hey, hey, didn’t we just talk about the no-pulling business?” Dad asked, getting out of the elevator also.

“She’s being disobedient!”

“Because you’re verbally abusing her.”

“Because you’re a bad influence!”

“Oh, yes, the people who want her to be safe and happy are bad influences.”

“You’re saying it’s okay to gay! You’re a bad influence!”

“Being gay is as much a part of her as having black hair. It’s not something you can change.” Dad grabbed her other hand. “Let’s go.”

“How about you talk to her mother, who I’m sure will agree with me. We don’t want you affecting our daughter like this!”

“Ring her then.” Dad shrugged.

Blaze’s Dad took out his phone and used his free hand to call her. He put the call on speaker.

“Joanne, there’s people here harassing me saying it’s fine for Blaze to be gay.”

“It is fine! Why do you hate it so much?!”

Dad smiled smugly and Blaze’s Dad disconnected the call. “She is my daughter, and as long as she is in my custody, I will raise her as I want to. You, or anyone else, get’s no say in this.”

“That’s a shame. I had a feeling your wife would’ve had something to say. What was her name?”

“None of your business. Come on Blaze.” He tugged on her arm, but Dad held her other hand firmly.

“C-Can’t I just go live with M-Mom?”

“After this trip.” He muttered, yanking on her arm again.

“P-Please. If you hate m-me that much, just let me g-go.”

“I don’t hate you, I’m just trying to fix you!”

She started crying. “P-Please Dad.”

He groaned in frustration and pulled on her again.

“Can you please stop hurting her?” Dad asked.

“You’re doing the exact same thing as me!”

“No, I’m not. Because I know that if I let go, you’re only going to continue to hurt her. So I’m asking you politely one last time to let go of your daughter.”

“No.” He answered simply.

“Sarah, babe, can you call security?”

She nodded and went to call them.

Blaze was silent, staring at the ground.

Her father kept trying to yank her away.

“P-Please stop.” Blaze whispered.

“Well, tell your little  _ friend  _ to stop, and then you come back with me.”

“But none of them are doing anything wrong!”

He stepped on her foot and she yelped in pain.

“SHUT UP!”

“Hey!” Dad yelled. “Alright, that’s serious physical abuse. Let her go.”

“Not until you do.”

“Alright, we both let go on 3.”

“Okay. 1…..2….3!” He counted down. Neither of them let go.

“Alright, what’s the problem here?” A security officer asked.

“This man is abusing his daughter.” Dad explained.

“This man is harassing us!” Blaze’s Dad exclaimed.

The security officer pried both of them off, and turned to Blaze. “What’s going on honey?”

“I-I...” She choked.

“It’s okay. Just go slow, tell us what’s going on.”

“D-Dad was m-mad at me b-because I-I went out with m-my girlfriend, N-Nicole and h-he’s homophobic, s-so he was mad, a-and then Mr U-Urie stood up for m-me and t-tried to get D-Dad to stop dragging m-me.” She whispered.

2 hours later, we were all sitting in the American embassy. Blaze’s father was being questioned for child abuse, and Blaze was about to be deported to go back to her mother.

For the most part, we were all silent.

“T-Thanks f-for h-helping me…” Blaze whispered.

“It’s alright.” Dad assured.

I pecked a kiss to her cheek. “You shouldn’t have had to put up with that at all.”

She shrugged. “I-It was okay.”

“No, it clearly wasn’t.” Mom stated.

“I-I’m sorry.” Blaze whispered.

“No, no, don’t be sorry. It wasn’t your fault.”

“O-Okay…”

Someone from the hotel brought her bags over, and the embassy person handed them a plane ticket and a passport. “You leave tomorrow afternoon. Well, today, I guess. It  _ is  _ three in the morning.”

“D-Do I stay here until then?”

“Your mother’s given permission for you to go with your girlfriend’s family as long as you make your flight.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

“Now, Urie’s, do you want me to book you a taxi back to your hotel?”

“Yes please.” Dad answered.

She booked a taxi and I held Blaze’s hand all the way back to the room.

We got back to the hotel and Mom and Kaitlyn went to bed straight away.

“Uh, you mind sharing?” I asked nervously.

She shrugged. “I don’t care.”

“Okay, good.” I nodded, putting her bag down. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

“Are you sure?” I laid down on the bed, patting beside me.

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

“Has he always been this bad?” I asked as she laid her head on my shoulder.

“It’s been worse after the divorce.” She sighed.

“That sucks. And yet you put up with it. Why?”

“Because I didn’t want Mom to get worried.”

“That’s all?”

“She’d just treat me differently.”

“Fair enough.” I sighed. “I know you must think I have no experience with this, but I honestly have much more than you’d think.”

“Oh...that’s awful.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. My mother was just plain neglective. Never home, bills never paid, a bit of an alcoholic too. I kind of raised my little brother by myself.”

“Oh..I didn’t realise you had a brother.”

“He… Uh…. he passed away about a month and a bit ago….” I blinked away some tears. “He was a good kid.”

“I-I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.” I sighed.

“I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“I was the one who did.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Why do you keep apologising?” I asked. “You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“I don’t know…” She stammered. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Please. I don’t wanna upset you beautiful.”

“I’m not upset.”

“You sure?”

She nodded and kissed me on the cheek. “I’m gonna sleep.”

“Alright. I might do the same.”

We both laid down and looked at each other. “You have pretty eyes.” She whispered.

“So do you.” I smiled. “And a pretty nose and a pretty mouth and a pretty face.”

“You have a prettier face.”

“Do not.”

“You do.” She giggled.

“No you do!” I giggled.

“No,  _ you _ do.”

Mom poked her head in. “ _ Sleeping,  _ girls.”

“Sorry.” We giggled.

She gave us a warning look, before smiling slightly and closing the door.

“I don’t wanna sleep.” She whispered.

“Me neither.” I whispered back. “We could just talk?”

“Can’t we just kiss?”

I giggled. “Sure.”

We started kissing and her hand started sliding down my leg. I was slightly uncomfortable, but didn’t say anything.

She pulled away. “Uh… sorry about that…”

“It’s okay.” I assured.

She snuggled up into me. “I hope we get to go to the same school in LA.”

“I hope so too.”

“Are you fully out at school?”

I shook my head. “Nope. Never.”

“Never?!”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I told my old group of friends and they kicked me out of their house and now bully me. It sucks.”

She frowned. “Neanderthals.”

“Something like that.” I murmured.

“I was lucky, I guess. Most of my friends were fine with it. But that’s in San Fran, so I guess I’m starting over.”

“It’ll be alright. You’ll find some good friends.”

“I doubt any of them will be as good as you.”

“We’ll hang out all the time.”

She smiled. “I’d like that.”

“So would I.”

“I love you Nicole.”

“I love you too Blaze.”

My hand picked that exact moment to twitch and hit Blaze in the face.

“I’m so sorry!” I panicked.

She blinked a few times. “Uh…”

I burst into tears and sat up.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Blaze sat up next to me. “Did I say something or anything?”

I shook my head tearfully and curled up.

“What’s wrong?”

“I h-hit you. I-I’m so, s-so, sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” She assured, rubbing circles in my back. “Just calm down. What happened?”

“I-It was a twitch…” I whispered.

“Huh?”

“Th-the disease, i-it causes the twitches.”

“Ohhhh, I see. Don’t worry beautiful, it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I-I feel really bad…”

“Please don’t. It’s fine.”

“O-Okay…”

She pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Thanks.”

We both snuggled back into the sheets before eventually falling asleep.

\-----------------------------------------------

“Nicole, Nicole, time to wake up.”

“W-What?” I stammered sleepily.

“It’s like 11am. Come on beautiful.”

“Okay.” I smiled slightly.

Mom handed me a coffee when I reached the kitchen and we all sat down.

“Thanks.” I smiled, taking a sip.

She smiled back. “No problems Nic. What do you girls want to do today? We have about 5 hours before we have to take Blaze to the airport.”

We shrugged.

“I don’t mind.” Blaze said.

“Shopping?” Kaitlyn suggested.

“You already spent all your money, bub.

She frowned. “I don’t know.”

“I thought maybe today we could go visit a temple, get some culture, you know?”

“That’d be cool.” I smiled.

Blaze nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

Mom smiled. “Awesome.”

Dad walked into the room with a bag from McDonalds. “I got hotcakes for everyone.”

“Yes! Thank you so much!” Kaitlyn grinned.

He chuckled and handed her the bag.

“You’re the best.”

“I know.” He laughed, sitting down next to me. “How are you this morning girls?”

“I’m good.” Blaze smiled.

“Me too.” I grinned.

“That’s good to hear.” He grinned.

“We’re going to go to the temple today.” Mom explained.

“Cool.” He smiled.

We all ate breakfast and went to get ready.

“Can you choose my clothes for me Nic? I’m really lazy.” Blaze complained, flopping onto the bed.

I threw some clothes at her. “Here. Now you pick mine.”

“Okay.” She shrugged. She pulled out almost all of my clothes before choosing an outfit.

“You get cleanup.” She giggled, before running to the bathroom to change.

I smiled slightly, shaking my head as I started shoving all my clothes back into my bag.

She came out. “You have some good fashion taste.”

“Thanks.” I beamed.

“And I was only joking about the cleanup….”

I shrugged. “It’s done now.”

“I see. Good job beautiful.” She kissed my cheek. “Bathroom’s yours.”

“Okay…” I was blushing slightly.

She giggled and went to packing her things up.

I quickly got changed, and admired the outfit before going out of the room.

Blaze was smiling. “Look at you! Even more beautiful than usual, which I didn’t even think was possible.”

My face went bright red. “Oh, th-thanks.”

She giggled and took my hand, and we walked out to the kitchen.

“All ready?” Dad asked.

We both nodded.

“You ready little worm?” Dad called.

Kaitlyn nodded. “Yep!”

“Sarah, you ready?”

She giggled and grabbed her purse.

“Let’s go team!”

We went out to a taxi and went to the temple. It was stunning.

“It’s so cool here.” Blaze whispered.

I nodded in agreement.

She took my hand and I started to notice that when she got excited, she’d grip my hand just a little bit tighter.

I smiled. “Happy there, are we?”

“Yeah!” She beamed.

I smiled. “You enjoy it beautiful.”

She giggled and pulled me forward to the next board of information.

******* Sarah’s Point of View *******

“Isn’t this nice Bren?”

He smiled and nodded.

“It certainly is.”

“I'm glad we came here. The girls seem to be enjoying it.”

“And we are too.”

“Yeah.”

Kaitlyn was certainly enjoying herself. “This is so cool!”

“It’s is, isn’t it bub?” I smiled.

She nodded and grinned. “The very best.”

“Hey Mrs Urie…. I think something’s wrong with Nicole…”

I raced over to Nicole and she’d gone pale.

“M-Mom?” She asked. “W-Where are w-we?”

“At the temple bub, in Japan.”

“W-When d-did we g-get to J-Japan?!”

“A, A little while ago? A few days ago?”

“D-Did we m-move here?” She asked, clearly quite confused.

“No, no. We’re just on holiday.”

“O-Oh…” She took a deep breath in. “W-Who’s that?” She asked, pointing at Blaze.

“That’s Blaze, your girlfriend bub.”

“I-I have a g-girlfriend?!”

I nodded. “Yeah?”

“I-I-.... o-okay.”

“What’s going on bub?”

“I d-don’t r-rem-member a-anything…” She took a deep breath. “W-What’s m-my n-name?”

“Nicole. Your name’s Nicole.”

“Weird n-name…” She mumbled. “I t-thought I’d be a J-Jessica or s-something.”

“Well it’s definately Nicole.”

“O-Okay….”

“What else can’t you remember?”

“I k-know you and D-Dad and K-Kaitlyn…. A-and that’s i-it.”

“Okay, that’s alright bub.”

“I-Is i-it?” She asked. “I d-don’t know… s-s-should I remember?”

“No, it’s perfectly fine.”

“O-Okay…” She mumbled unsurely.

“Maybe we should go back to the hotel.” I suggested.

“That’s probably a good idea…” Blaze nodded.

I helped her up and Brendon called a taxi.

“I-I’m s-sorry…” She mumbled.

“It’s alright bub. Let’s just get you back so we can relax.”

“Any memories returning?” Blaze asked.

“I-I don’t know…”

“You, uh, remember me yet?”

“N-Not really…” She whispered. “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay beautiful, it’s okay.” Blaze gently tapped the top of her hand. “It’s okay.”

“I-I’m really sorry…”

“Please don’t be.” She assured. She turned to me. “Does this happen a lot?”

I shrugged. “Hasn’t really happened before.”

“S-She’ll get h-her memories back though, right?”

“I don’t know...”

Blaze looked down at her lap. “Oh..”

“We’ll see. I’ll call her doctor.”

“I have a d-doctor?” Nicole asked.

I nodded. “Don’t worry bub.” 

“I f-feel like I s-s-should be really worried.”

“It’s nothing.”

“O-Oh…. W-where’s Jax?”

“He’s not here right now.”

“Why not? Is he at Gerard’s? Did we go to Japan without him? T-That’s m-mean….”

“Just don’t worry about it Nic.”

“But h-he’s my little b-brother! C-Can we call him f-from the h-hotel?”

“Uh…”

“M-Mom?” She sounded quite scared.

“Yeah?”

“W-What’s g-g-going on?”

“Nothing bub, don’t worry.”

“W-Why a-are you l-lying?” She whispered.

“I’m not.”

“W-Why a-aren’t y-you telling m-me w-what’s going o-on?”

“We’ll talk later, I promise.”

She sniffled and curled up on the seat. “I w-wanna g-go home.”

“I’m sorry bub.”

We arrived back at the hotel and headed up to the room. It was like Nicole was seeing everything for the first time.

“Th-this is weird…” 

“This is your room bub.” I opened the door uncertainly. “And those are your bags over there.”

“I-I’m so confused.” She whimpered.

“It’s okay.” I assured. “Don’t worry.”

“I-I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault Nic.”

She wrinkled her nose up. “T-That’s still a w-weird name.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s like a-an old person’s n-name…” She shrugged. “B-By the w-way, h-how old am I?”

“15?”

“I t-thought I was l-like 20 or s-something… b-but okay…”

“Do you want a drink?”

“C-Can I have c-coffee?”

“Yeah, sure.”

She smiled slightly. “O-Okay.”

I went to make her a coffee. I was truly getting quite worried.

“T-This is a n-nice hotel…”

“It is.”

She turned to Blaze. “S-So, w-we’re like, d-dating?”

Blaze nodded.

“I w-would’ve t-thought you w-were out my l-league…” She giggled slightly. “Y-You’re like, r-really p-pretty.”

She blushed. “I honestly thought the same about you.”

I handed Nicole her coffee. “I’m just going to make a phone call. You two stay here, okay? Come get me if anything else happens.”

Blaze nodded. “Of course Mrs Urie.”

I went outside and dialed Nicole’s Doctor’s number.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Hello! It’s Sarah… Nicole’s Mom?”

“Oh right, what’s going on?”

“Uh…. we were out at this temple, and then Nicole just went really pale and can’t remember anything other than me, Brendon and her sister.”

“Oh...um.. That’s not really supposed to happen so soon.”

“W-What do I do?!” I panicked. “I mean, a couple of days ago she started slurring too, and then it got so bad that nobody could understand what she was saying. It got better, but now this?! What do I do?!”

“There’s not a lot I can do while you’re there. Has she been taking the medication?”

“Every day. I watch to make sure.”

“Hm...okay. How much longer are you going to be gone?”

“Another 4 days, it’s a full day flight home.”

“Do you have any more commitments there?”

“Brendon has another show to perform… tomorrow night I think.”

“All I can suggest is get her home as soon as possible, and bring her in.”

“Okay, thanks. What can I do in the meantime?”

“Just keep an eye on her, make sure she’s eating and drinking and such. Just keep her safe, and try to not do anything too strenuous.”

“Okay, thanks Doc.”

“It’s alright. If there’s any more problems, don’t hesitate to call.”

“Thanks.” I nodded. “I’ll let you know if we decide to do anything.”

“Okay. Thanks for letting me know Sarah. I’ll let you get back to her now.” She said, before hanging up the call.

I walked back inside, where Nicole and Blaze were talking. She seemed okay, but I knew looks can be deceiving.

“How’s it going bub?” I asked.

“Good! Blaze was telling me about all the things we did. I sound pretty cool.”

“That’s good. Are you hungry?”

“Not really.” She answered. “Can I call Jax now?”

“He’ll be asleep.”

“Oh. Okay. Can I call him later?”

“Not really…” I frowned.

“Why not? Doesn’t he miss me? I miss him.”

“Nicole, h-he’s…….he’s gone…”

“W-What d-d-do you mean?” She stammered.

“H-He passed away…”

“N-No…” She whispered, almost in disbelief.

“I-I’m sorry…”

She ran out of the room.

I started crying myself.

“I, uh…” Blaze stammered awkwardly. “I might go sit with Kaitlyn.”

“O-Okay…”

She uncertainly left the room also.

I tried to compose myself before going to see Nicole.

“I-It’s t-true…” She whimpered. “T-There’s p-pictures and s-stuff in my p-phone of l-like...the f-funeral.”

“I’m sorry Nicole…”

“I-It’s not your f-fault… unless i-it was… I d-don’t remember.”

“It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

“W-What h-happened e-exactly?”

“There was a house fire, and he inhaled a lot of smoke.”

“T-That’s a-awful…” She sniffled.

I nodded glumly.

She sniffled. “W-Why can’t I r-remember anything M-Mom?”

“I’m not sure bub.”

She snuggled into me. “I d-don’t like n-not knowing all t-this.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s not your f-fault… unless i-it is.… I d-don’t remember.”

“I don’t know what happened either bub.”

“O-Oh…”

“Anyway, that’s not important.”

“W-Why?”

“It’s just best not to dwell on it.”

“C-Can you t-tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

She frowned. “S-Stop dancing a-around whatever i-it is.”

“The only explanation we have is that it’s the disease, Huntington’s disease that’s called all of this.”

She blinked.

“Still not making sense?”

“I t-think my s-school c-councillor told m-me about it o-once…”

“Yeah, well you were diagnosed with it a little while ago.”

“O-Oh…” She whispered. “T-That’s not g-good.”

“Not really…”

“So I-I’m g-gonna die.”

“Hopefully not?”

“O-Oh g-god…”

“That’s also the reason we’re in Japan…”

“D-Did I want to c-come here?”

I nodded. “You wanted to come here for the weird candy, apparently.”

“Weird. Did I get to try it though?”

I nodded. “There’s still a little bit left.”

“Oh cool… maybe later. I’m just… still trying to wrap my head around everything.”

“That’s alright bub.”

“T-Thanks…”

“It’s okay.” smiled warmly.

Blaze knocked on the door hesitantly. “I, uh, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I think I’m going to miss my flight if we don’t go soon.”

“Oh, sorry.” I said, getting up and getting ready. “Brendon, Kaitlyn! Get ready to go!”

“W-What’s going on?” Nicole asked nervously.

“We’ve got to drop Blaze off at the airport so she can catch her flight home.”

“O-Oh, okay.”

We caught another taxi to the airport. Blaze really didn’t want to leave.

“I don’t want to leave you beautiful…”

“You have to leave though...”

She nodded sadly. “I’ll text you, kay?”

I put a hand on Nicole’s shoulder. “I’ll get her to text you when she’s feeling better.”

Blaze nodded. 

“Now boarding GH 274.” I voice said over the PA, before a section of Japanese followed.

Blaze quickly kissed Nicole before heading to the gate.

Nicole’s eyes went wide. “Woah.”

“What’s up?”

“Uh… first kiss that I remember.”

“Oh..”

“I, uh… c-can we go back to the hotel now?”

I nodded. “Sure, let’s go.”

We walked back to the car, and Nicole was looking around. “It still feels weird.”

“I can’t help much, I’m sorry.” I murmured.

“It’s okay…” She murmured.

We got to the hotel and I kept rushing around, looking for way to help.

“H-Hey Mom?” Nicole asked.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“W-Where are w-we?”

“At the hotel in Japan.”

“J-Japan?!”

“Yeah.” I sighed.

“W-When d-d-did we g-get to J-Japan?!”

“Almost a week ago. We’re here for a holiday.”

She looked frightened, almost. “I-I d-don’t r-remember…”

“Brendon! Your turn!” I called.

He frowned, before sitting down and talking it through with her all over again.

“W-What did the doctor say?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Just keep her fed and hydrated and relaxed till we can get home.”

“O-Oh.”

I nodded and sighed. “Are you hungry?”

She nodded. “Are we going out for dinner?”

“I don’t know. Might just get something and eat here.”

“Good idea.”

“Wanna come for a walk?”

She nodded. “Okay.”

I took my phone before we headed out.

While we were waiting for our food to be ready, I got a text from Brendon.

_ We’re onto forgetting number 3. _

_ God, okay...um...We should be back soon. _

_ I’m going to write it all down so we don’t need to explain everything again. It gets tiring. _

_ That’s a good idea. _

_ You get the next two times this happens. _

_ That’s so unfair _

_ I got the last two times! Totally fair. _

_ Fine. _

Kaitlyn got the food. “Let’s go back.”

We rushed back to the room and Nicole was worse than we left. Much worse.

“Nic, calm down.” Brendon kept trying to assure.

“I-I’m so confused.” She whispered, starting to rock back and forth.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Brendon kept trying to calm her down.

“It’s not okay!” She cried. 

“Calm down, just eat some dinner.” I put the bag down on the coffee table.

She sat and ate for awhile, before just going pale again and silent.

“Nic?” I asked.

“W-Where am I?”

I sighed. 

She kept asking before she started just staring blankly at the wall. She had started whimpering.

“Nikki, what’s wrong?” Brendon asked.

She didn’t answer, she just started waving her arms around frantically.

“Go call the doctor!” Brendon panicked, tossing my phone at me.

I quickly rang the doctor and she picked up straight away.

“We need help.”

“In what way?”

“She’s gotten worse. Much, much worse.”

“Okay, what’s going on?”

“She’s forgetting everything every few minutes. And now she’s just freaking out and flailing her arms around everywhere and it’s bad.”

“You need to get her to the hospital.”

“O-Okay.” I gulped.

“I suggest you go now.” She said, before hanging up.

“Brendon, what’s the emergency number for an ambulance in Japan?”

“119 for an ambulance, I think.”

I dialed the number, and thankfully, the guy who answered moved me onto someone who could speak english.

“We need an ambulance. My daughter, she just needs help.”

“What’s the issue?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. She’s gone pale, and she’s flailing her arms around.”

“There’s an ambulance on it’s way to your location. Do you know what’s causing this?”

“She’s got this thing called Huntington’s disease.”

“Oh, okay. You’re at a hotel, can you get her down to the lobby?”

“Yeah, I can try.”

“Okay, good. The ambulance will be there in about 7 minutes. The driver speaks english, the other two paramedics don’t. The driver can translate if you need.”

“Oh, okay. Thank you so much.”

“No problems. Bye.”

“Goodbye.” 

He hung up the call.

“Brendon, the ambulance is coming. We have to go to the lobby.”

“Okay.” He nodded, before picking Nicole up.

We waited in the lobby until the ambulance arrived, and had to try and figure out what the japanese paramedics were saying. I’d never felt more helpless.

Nicole started shaking and Brendon was beginning to panic.

“Please, just help her!” He freaked out.

The driver just loaded her in the ambulance so she could start getting some help.

“We’ll get a taxi.” I stammered. 

He nodded before they all left in the ambulance.

By the time we got to emergency, Nicole was already in intensive care.

“God, I hope she’s okay.” Brendon started pacing.

“She’ll b-be fine Bren.” I assured.

“No she won’t!” He snapped before bursting into tears.

I sighed and pulled him into a hug.

“I-I’m sorry.” He whispered. “W-We shouldn’t have c-come here.”

“Come where? The hospital?”

“To Japan.” He murmured.

“Oh come on Brendon, she’s had the most incredible time. It’s been the best. Yes, this is a minor setback, but I knew this would happen. We always end up in the hospital. I even went to the trouble of learning all the names of all your conditions in japanese just in case.”

“Sh-she can’t remember a-any of it.”

“She will Bren.” I promised. “And if not, we have pictures. And memories.”

He just continued crying.

“Urie’s?” A doctor asked.

I pulled away from Brendon and walked over to the doctor.

“Follow me.” He instructed.

We followed him through to where Nicole was. 

“M-Mom?”

“It’s okay, It’s okay.” I breathed.

“W-Where am I?”

“In the hospital bub.”

“W-Why?”

“Because of the disease.”

She seemed confused.

“I’m not going through this again.” Brendon stated. “Nic, you’re fine. You’re in here as a precaution, don’t worry about anything and don’t ask questions.”

She nodded unsurely and laid back on the bed. “Can I go to sleep?”

“Sure bub.” I nodded. “Go for it.”

She was hesitant, but curled up and fell asleep.

“So what do we do now?” Brendon asked, sitting down beside her.

“Just wait? I don't know. There's not much that can be done.”

He sighed. “This sucks.”

I nodded. “I think we’ll go home right after the last concert.”

“That’s a good idea.” I agreed.

He looked at Nicole and sighed. “I hope she gets better.”

“Me too.” I murmured.

He sat down and fiddled with his fingers silently.

“S-She’s not gonna get better.” Kaitlyn mumbled. “You b-both need to r-realise it.”

“I know.” He mumbled.

“I-It’s o-only gonna g-get w-worse…”

He nodded.

She went up and hugged him, more for her own comfort than his.

“Should I cancel the last show?”

“No, no, of course not Bren.” I told him. “We’ll just go home after. You can’t let all those people down.”

“But it’s a family emergency?”

“I’ll be here. You have to do what you have to do Brendon.”

He sighed. “I just feel like it’s my fault.”

“It’s nobody’s fault.” Kaitlyn assured.

“No, it’s mine!” He snapped.

She took a step away from him. “B-But you d-didn’t c-cause the d-disease Dad…”

“I may as well have!”

“What are you going on about Bren?” I sighed.

“Everything’s always my fault!”

“This isn’t.” I assured. “Brendon, you didn’t cause this at all.”

“Sure.” He muttered, storming out of the room.

“Dad!” Kaitlyn called, running after him.

“Go away.” He growled.

They continued arguing down the hall. Nicole started to wake up.

“Hey bub.”

“H-Hey M-Mom…” She murmured.

“Are you alright?”

“M-My feet f-feel funny.” She mumbled. “C-Can I have i-ice cream c-cake?”

“Not right now…”

“Aww…” She murmured, her eyelids still half closed. “T-That sucks.”

“It does.” I sighed.

“Can I h-have a hug?”

I nodded and wrapped her in a hug. “Whenever you want Nic.”

“W-Who’s Nic?”

“Don’t worry.” I mumbled.

“O-Oh… okay. W-Where’s Dad?”

“He’s uh, not at his best right now.”

“Oh…”

“He’ll be fine.”

“O-Okay.” She paused. “W-We’re in Japan, r-right?”

I nodded. “Yep.”

“I-I think I-I’m r-remembering t-things…”

“That’s good.” I affirmed.

She smiled slightly. “Uh huh. Can I have ice cream cake now?”

“Not now. I don’t think they have any in hospitals.”

“Aww!”’

“I’m sorry bub.”

“I’m not your friend anymore.” They pouted.

I frowned. “Okay.”

Brendon and Kaitlyn returned after a while.

“Hey Dad, Kaitlyn.”

“Hey Nic!” Kaitlyn grinned, wrapping her in a hug.

“Again with the Nic… who’s that?”

Brendon sighed. “You.”

“Me? I thought I was a girl? Isn’t Nick a boy’s name?”

“Your name is Nicole.”

“Oh, that makes sense. Weird name though. Sounds like it belongs to a grandma or something.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Brendon murmured.

“Can I have some ice cream cake Dad? Mom won’t let me have any.”

“No.” He answered simply.

Nicole frowned. “You’re not my friend anymore either.”

“Great.” He muttered, leaving the room again.

“Brendon, she’s sick. Give her a break.” I sighed, running after him.

“I don’t care anymore Sarah.”

“Why not?!”

“Because it's getting so hard to deal with!”

“Brendon, she’s our daughter. We can’t just abandon her when she needs us most.”

“You’ve done it before.”

“And I learnt from my mistakes Brendon.”

“I haven’t.”

“Brendon, please.” I grabbed his hand.

“Just leave me alone Sarah.”

“Just, promise you’ll come back, okay?”

“Fine.” He mumbled.

I kissed his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He walked away down the corridor and I went back to Nicole’s room.

The girls were just happily chatting, which made me smile.

I had just got myself comfortable when I got a text from Brendon. I quickly opened it up and sighed. He’d gone and bought plane tickets and just sent the information.

I texted him back.  _ You do realise these are for tonight? _

_ Yep. I talked to the doctor about it. You’ll be fine. _

_ But what about the show? _

_ Let’s not talk about that right now _

I sighed.

_ Okay. Where are you? _

_ About to talk to Ryan, why? _

_ Nic wants you. Can you get some ice cream cake on your way back? _

_ Yeah, sure. _

_ Thanks Bren. I love you. _

_ I love you too Sarah _

“Who are you texting?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Brendon.”

“How is he?”

“He’s alright. He got us some plane tickets so we’re leaving tonight.”

“Oh… but didn’t he have another show?”

“I asked him about it and he didn’t say anything.”

“What’s going on?” Nicole asked.

“Nothing.”

“Oh.”

“Let’s just relax.”

“O-Okay.” She nodded.

We just sort of sat back and chatted about random things to pass the time.

“I think sharks are sort of mean.” Nicole stated.

“They are a bit.” I agreed.

“Uh huh. Cause they have really big sharp teeth!”

“I don’t think they want to be mean.”

“They could just eat like, sea plants instead though Mom. They’re big meanies.”

“Well we go into their environment.”

“It’s our environment too! Sharks should become vegans.”

“That’d probably take years.”

“True.” She nodded. “They’d probably just prefer ice cream cake.”

“Probably.”

The doctor walked in. “Hello Nicole, how are you feeling?”

She shrugged. “Okay?”

“That’s good. I’m just going to ask you a few questions, okay?”

“Sure.”

“What’s your full name?”

“Nicole Urie?”

“Any middle names?”

“Uh….”

“Moving on then. How old are you?”

“15.”

“Good. Where are you right now?”

“A hospital in Japan.”

“Do you know the city?”

“Osaka?”

“Good. What year is it?”

“2016?”

“And what’s your mother’s name?”

“Sarah.”

“And your fathers?”

“Brendon.”

“Alright. You seem well. I think you can go home soon.”

“Okay.” She murmured.

“Are you sore anywhere or is anything feeling off?”

“My feet feel weird.”

He gently took the blankets off and frowned. “Well, they are a bit discoloured. Stand up for me?”

She tried to stand up and almost fell down. The doctor barely caught her.

“Alright, let’s do a blood test.”

She frowned, and the doctor helped her onto the bed.

“I’ll be back in a moment.”

“M-Mom, I-I’m s-scared.”

“You don’t have to be Nic.”

She whimpered and grabbed onto my arm.

“It’ll be okay bub, I promise.”

“O-Okay…”

I held her hand until the doctor came back. She shrieked and curled up.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay Nic.” 

“N-No it’s not.”

“We just need a blood sample.” The doctor put his gloves on. “Put your arm out for me sweetheart.”

She shook her head and held her arms to her chest.

“Come on Nic. You can have ice cream cake if you do.”

“I-I’m n-not, I-I…”

I gently held her arm out. “Close your eyes bub.”

“No! P-Please!” She cried.

“Shh. Just take a deep breath. That’s it bub. Keep doing that.”

She clenched her eyes shut as the doctor took the sample.

She burst into tears and held onto me.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” I kept assuring. “You’re doing so well bub. So, so well. It’s almost over.”

“I-I hate it. I-It’s s-so scary.”

“All done.” The doctor said finally.

She took a deep breath. “N-No more?”

“Not at the moment. I’ll take this to the lab. See you later Nicole.”

“B-Bye.”

He left and I smiled. “That wasn’t so bad, hey?”

“I-It was awful!”

“It’s okay now. It’s over.”

“I-It still stings.”

I sighed. “I know.”

She just continued crying.

Brendon knocked on the door. “Hey everyone.”

“Hey Dad!” Kaitlyn beamed.

He smiled. “Hey little worm. I brought some ice cream cake.”

Nicole was too preoccupied to take notice.

Brendon presented her with a plate. “Here Nikki.”

She shook her head and tried to wipe her eyes before just continuing.

“Blood sample really freaked her out.” I sighed. “Thanks though Bren. I’ll have some.”

“Oh, okay.” He shrugged, handing me the plate.

“Thanks.” I smiled.

“No problem.” He smiled in return.

“This is really good!” Kaitlyn giggled. 

“That’s good.” He said, taking a spoonful for himself.

“I-It still h-hurts Mom!” Nicole cried.

“It won’t hurt much longer.” I assured.

“Have some cake Nic!” Kaitlyn grinned, handing her a plate.

She shook her head.

“Why not?”

“I-I-....yeah….”

“Nic?” I asked.

“Y-Yeah?”

“What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing.”

“Nic.” I took her hand. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I-I’m just really scared of n-needles, y-yeah…”

“It’s all over now.” I assured. “You don’t need to be scared anymore.”

“Don’t w-worry.” She murmured.

I put the cake in her hands. “Have this, it’ll make you feel better.”

“O-Okay…”

She ate slowly, silently. The tension was so thick you could pop it with a pin.

“I’m going to pack everything up at the hotel.” Brendon said, getting up.

“Can I come?” Nicole asked.

“No, just stay here.”

“Oh…”

“I’ll be back soon.” He assured, before leaving.

“He just left us.” Nicole told me. “Should we be worried?”

I shook my head. “No it’ll be fine.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Are you feeling better?”

“A bit.” She nodded. “Still quite confused though. Where’s Blaze?”

“She had to go to LA to live with her Mom.”

“Really?”

I nodded. “Yep.”

“Oh… I should probably text her.”

“Do you want your phone?”

She nodded.

I pulled her phone out of my bag and handed it to her.

“Who’s been calling me Mom?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Someone called Lucy. There’s like, a hundred or something calls on here.”

“I don’t know?”

“Should I call them back?”

“If you want to.”

She rang them back and held the phone to her ear while waiting for them to pick up.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Hello? It’s Nicole… I have a bunch of calls from this number?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I know you….”

“Oh good, because I don’t think I know you either. There’s just like, one hundred and something missed calls from this number.”

The number hung up and Nicole was still confused.

“I don’t know either bub.”

She frowned and rung the number again, putting it on speaker.

“Hello?”

“What do you want?” The person responded.

“I wanted to know why you hung up on me. I’m just really confused.”

“You don’t need to worry about it.”

“But please, I’d really appreciate knowing.”

“It was just a wrong number, yeah.”

“One hundred and thirty seven times?”

“Yep.”

“Well, that makes perfect sense.” Nicole smiled. “Thanks for clarifying.”

“Okay. Bye.” The person said before hanging up again.

“That really didn’t make perfect sense bub.” I frowned.

She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”

I frowned. “Alright.”

“It’s probably nothing.”

“You should probably just call Blaze.”

She nodded and called Blaze, once again putting it on speaker.

“Nic!” Blaze answered happily.

“Hey Blaze!” She smiled.

“How are you? Feeling better?”

“Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better.”

“That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, it is.”

“So what’s happening?”

“Not a lot.”

“Just chilling at the hotel?”

“Not exactly.” 

“Where are you then?”

“In hospital.”

“What?! Are you okay?!” Blaze panicked.

“I'm okay now, don't worry.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay. Why are you there?”

“I think I just started getting worse so Mom took me here.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Doesn't matter now.”

“Well, you’re still there…”

“I think we're going home soon anyway.”

“Oh that’s good.”

She nodded. “Uh huh. How’s your Mom?”

“I don’t know yet. I’m actually waiting at the airport for her to come and pick me up.”

“Well, let me know when you see her.”

“I will.” Blaze assured. “When are you coming back to LA?”

“I don’t know exactly.”

“Tonight.” I told her.

“Tonight, then.”

“Oh cool! Call me when you get home.”

“I will, I promise.”

“Awesome.”

“How was the plane ride?”

“Pretty good. I had the whole row to myself.”

“That’s awesome.”

“Yep. Oh, there’s Mom. I’ll talk to you later, kay?”

“Okay. Talk to you later.”

“Bye beautiful.”

“Bye.” She smiled.

Nicole hung up the phone. “Well, that’s sorted.”

I nodded. “That’s good.”

“My feet still feel funny.”

“Well I don’t know how to help there.”

“Oh. Okay”

“We just have to wait.”

“Hmm. Okay. I can do that.”

“Good.” I smiled.

She lasted all of 2 minutes. “Mommy, I’m bored.”

“I know.” I sighed.

“What can we do?”

“Not a lot.”

“That’s boring.”

“I know.”

She groaned and flopped back on the bed. “Want to use the sheets to make a fort?”

“Not when we’re in a hospital.”

“That sucks.” She muttered, picking at the threads of the hospital gown.

“It does.”

“Can we play a game?” Nicole asked. “I’m bored.”

“You just have to be patient. The doctor should be back soon.”

She frowned and pulled out her phone, before frowning. “Mom, I think I’ve forgotten my passcode.”

“Uh...I dunno what it is?”

She frowned and tapped in some random numbers for a while. “I’ve locked it for 3 hours.”

“That sucks.”

She put it down on the bed. “Can we turn the TV on?”

“Sure.” I shrugged, turning it on and handing her the remote.

She smiled. “Thanks Mom.”

“No problem.”

We watched TV until Brendon came back.

“Everything’s sorted.” He beamed.

“Cool.” Nicole shrugged.

“How’s it going here?”

“Pretty boring. I want to leave now.”

“You’ll be able to soon.

“Oh good!” She grinned. “Hear that Mom! I can go soon!”

I nodded. “Yep.”

She grinned. “Awesome.”

“Anyway, I brought your IPad for now.”

She giggled. “You’re the best. Did I put a passcode on this? I hope not.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh good. I accidently locked my phone and forgot the passcode.”

“It’s 1436.”

“Yes! Thanks Dad!”

“It’s fine.” He assured.

“When do we leave?” Kaitlyn asked.

“In a couple hours.”

“Oh cool.”

“Bren, what if she isn’t released by then?” I whispered.

“I’ll work it out.”

“Okay…”

“I’ll get that sorted now.”

I nodded. “They’re waiting on a blood test I think.”

“Okay.” He nodded.

“Hey Dad?” Nicole asked.

“Yeah?”

“Can you go to the shop and get some more weird candy for me? I brought a spare bag to take some home with me, but I didn’t get enough time to go and get more of the ones I liked.”

“Okay. I’ll go now.”

She smiled and passed him her wallet and the said bag.

“I shall be back.”

“See you soon Bren.”

“See you soon.” He smiled.

Nicole put on a TV show she downloaded. “This is less boring than before.”

“That’s good.”

She nodded and returned her attention to the show.

“How are you going Kaitlyn?”

“Good.” She answered, leaning over to watch Nicole’s show as well.

I nodded and leaned back in my chair.

Brendon returned after a while and handed Nicole her candy. “Here Nic.”

“Thanks.” Nicole smiled.

“The doctor said she can go for the flight.” He whispered. “He’ll send the test results over to her doctor.”

I nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Want some Kaitlyn?” She offered, holding out a bag of gummies.

“Yeah, sure.”

They continued to eat candy until the doctor came in.

“ Oh, hello doctor.” Nicole murmured, trying to swallow the mouthful of candy she had in her mouth.

He smiled. “Hello Nicole, how are you feeling?”

“Pretty good.” 

“That’s good to hear.” He smiled. “So, we’re going to release you to go home now. But, when you get home, you’re going to have to go and see your doctor about everything that’s happened.”

“Okay.” She mumbled.

“Okay. Mr and Mrs Urie, will you come to sign the paperwork?”

We nodded and left with the doctor to sign everything.

When we got back, Nicole was in a grump. “I don’t wanna see the doctor at home.”

“It won’t be a big deal.” 

She huffed. “It sucks.”

“I know, but we have to.” 

“No we don’t! We can run away and become fugitives of the law!”

“We aren’t running away.” 

“Aww.”

“Don’t worry about it bub.” 

“Can I come home now though?”

“Yeah.” 

She grinned. “Cool.”

“Let’s go.” 

She went to get up and immediately stumbled into my arms.

“It’s alright, I’ve got you.” 

“T-Thanks Mom.” She whispered.

“It’s alright.” 

“I d-don’t know if I can move though…”

“ We’ll go ask the doctor.” 

“Uh…”

“Brendon, go.” 

Brendon left the room, and Nicole was still clinging to me for dear life.

“Just sit down.” I said, helping her to a chair.

“O-Okay.” She mumbled, sitting down on the chair. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s alright bub.” 

Brendon came back with a pair of crutches. “Here Nic.”

“Thanks Dad.” 

He smiled. “No problem. Give it a go, see if it helps.”

She hesitantly got up and managed to move around a little bit.

“I think… I think I’m doing it?”

“Good job!” I smiled.

She gave me a nervous smile. “Okay, can we go now?”

“Yep.” 

We left the hospital, slowly so Nicole could keep up, and took a taxi to the airport.

“Ready to go home?” 

She nodded. “Yep.”

We sat around the airport for a while, and bought some early dinner to eat before the flight.

Nicole’s phone started ringing again and she frowned. “The Lucy person is calling again.”

“Your choice.” I shrugged.

She answered it. “Hello?”

“Look, I don’t know who you are.” She said.

“Then why are you calling me?” Nicole frowned.

“Cause I can.” 

“Oh… that’s a bit weird.”

“Not really.” 

“Yeah it is. You’re like, repeatedly calling someone you don’t know. That’s weird.”

“I just don’t like you.” 

“So you keep calling to tell me that?”

“Yes. Until you change.” 

“Change what?”

“You know what.” 

“No I don’t. And how do you know? You don’t even know me!”

“You’re just a useless lesbian.” She sighed.

Nicole frowned. “How do you know that?”

“I just do.” 

“Well, that’s a bit rude.”

“Look, I don't even want to have to know you, but I do.” 

“So you do know me?”

“Sadly.” 

“Again, that’s not very nice.”

“But true.” 

Brendon snatched the phone from her hand. “Alright, what’s your name? I’m going to report you to the police for harrassment.”

“Why would I tell you my name then  _ Brendon _ .” 

“I can hand your number over. You’re getting caught either way kid.”

“Oh, good, cause this isn’t my phone.” 

“If you call again, you’re going to jail, you hear me?!”

“I highly doubt it Mr Urie.” 

She hung up the call and Brendon slammed the phone on the table in anger.

“I k-know who it was.” Kaitlyn whispered.

“Who?” Brendon asked.

“H-Her name’s L-Lucy. She g-goes to school with u-us.”

“Do you know her surname.” 

“I t-think it’s G-Gorina?”

Brendon nodded, and his phone was the next to ring. “I am so not in the mood.” He muttered, taking the call.

“Brendon! Hey!”

“Hey.” He answered flatly.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. Who am I speaking to?”

“No on important.” 

“Hanging up in three, two…”

“No, please!” 

“Name.” He instructed flatly.

“Thomas Gorina.” 

“Why are you calling me?”

“Because I think my daughter has been harassing yours.” 

“I think you’re right.”

“I’d just like to apologise. I know, it doesn’t help though.” 

“I know.” He nodded. “You’re lucky Nicole doesn’t remember anything and therefore truly has no idea what’s going on?”

“Is there anything you would like me to do, or help with?” 

“Not at the moment.”

“Okay, anyway, I’m sorry again.”

“Whatever.” Brendon muttered. “Bye.”

“Goodbye.” 

Brendon hung up the call. “People annoy me so much.” He sighed.

“Me too.” Nicole stated. “So how do I know her exactly?”

“She’s a bully from school.” 

“Oh. That sucks then.”

He nodded. “Doesn’t matter though.” 

She nodded. “Can I get a magazine to read on the plane?”

“Yeah, sure.”

She smiled and grabbed her wallet. “I’m going to the newsagent over there.”

I nodded and sat back on the chair.

“Take someone with you Nic.” Brendon instructed. “You’re on crutches, you need someone in case you fall.”

“I’ll go.” Kaitlyn volunteered.

Nicole shrugged. “More the merrier.”

The girls headed off the the newsagents.

“Bullies.” Brendon muttered. “Don’t they realise she’s going through enough?!”

“Brendon, calm down. We’ll sort it out tomorrow.” 

“It’s just so stupid!”

“I know, I know. We’ll sort it out.” 

He grumbled and took a sip of his drink.

“Just calm down so you don't freak the girls out.”

“I'll try.”

“Thanks Brendon.”

The girls returned with quite a few magazines. “We're back.”

“Awesome. Found anything interesting?”

They nodded and Kaitlyn placed one in my lap. It was an Alt Press magazine.

“Oh god…” Brendon muttered. 

“I don’t, there’s just stuff about you in there, so I figured you should check it out.”

He passed it to me. “You read it first.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “And if it's going to make me angry, don't give it to me until we get home.”

“Okay.” I shrugged.

“Page 45.” Nicole told me. 

I flicked through and quickly realised it was the interview disaster he’d talked about.

**Brendon Urie: Head case?**

I sighed and just closed the magazine.

“Not now?” Brendon asked knowingly. 

“Probably not, no.”

“Fair enough.”

I kept the magazine in my hands, and found myself getting frustrated.

“Kaitlyn, put this back in the bag.” I muttered.

She shoved the magazine in her bag.

We were called for boarding and took our seats on the plane.

“I like planes.” Kaitlyn smiled slightly.

“I don’t remember ever going on one.” Nicole shrugged. “I know we must’ve to have gotten to Japan and all.”

“I think you’ll like it.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Brendon laid back and put his earphones in, before slowly falling asleep before we even took off.

Kaitlyn giggled and took a picture.

Nicole grinned as Kaitlyn showed her the picture.

It was getting late, and we all fell asleep on the way home. We got into LA at about 7am, and we were all still exhausted and jetlagged.

I had to wake Brendon up, and he didn’t seem very happy about that.

“What do you want?” He groaned.

“The plane’s landed Bren. We’re back home. We have to get off the plane.”

“I don’t wanna!” He whined.

“Have fun in Turkey then.” I shrugged, grabbing my carry on. “Because if you don’t leave the plane, that’s where you’re off to.”

“But Sarah!”

I shrugged. “I don’t control it. Or you could get off with your family and we could go home and you could go back to sleep?”

He groaned again and pulled himself up.

Gerard picked us up from the airport. “Hey Urie’s! How was Japan?”

“It was awesome!” Kaitlyn beamed.

“That’s awesome.” Gerard smiled. “Ready to head home?”

Brendon nodded tiredly.

We got home after a short drive. Kaitlyn went out to hug the puppies, and Brendon went straight to bed. Nicole seemed rather confused and asked me where we were.

“We’re home.”

“I’ve never been here before…”

“Well this is our house.”

“Oh, okay…”

“I’ll take you to your room.”

She nodded uncertainly.

I led her to her room and sat down on the bed.

She walked around silently, running her finger along the bookshelf. “This doesn’t… this isn’t familiar at all.”

“I don’t know how to help you bub.”

“It’ll just take some getting used to, I guess.” She murmured.

“I suppose so.”

“Where’s everything else around here? I don’t really want to look stupid in front of Dad or Kaitlyn…”

“I’ll take you on a tour.”

We walked around and I showed her where everything was, before we sat in the lounge to watch some TV.

“What do you want to watch?”

She shrugged. “Don’t mind.”

“Okay.” I yawned, putting a random show on.

“N-Not this one…”

“Okay.” I shrugged, changing the show. I didn’t want to ask about it right now.

“T-Thanks.”

“It’s okay.” I assured.

Brendon came out and sat with us, still half asleep.

“How’s it going Bren?”

“Give me a second.” He murmured, rubbing his eyes.

“Okay. Want me to put some coffee on?”

“I don’t know. Do you want coffee Nicole?”

She nodded. “Yep.”

Brendon ended up getting up and going into the kitchen.

“Thanks Dad.” Nicole smiled.

“It’s fine.” He murmured.

My phone started ringing. Nicole’s doctor.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Where are you? I thought you were bringing her straight down.”

“Sorry, we’ll head there now.”

“Thanks.”

“See you soon.”

“Same.”

I took Nicole to the hospital, and she didn’t seem too impressed.

“It's not too late to run away…” she mumbled. 

“We aren't running away Nicole.”

She frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

She folded her arms. 

“Don’t be like that.”

“I don't even know where you're taking me.”

“To see your doctor at the hospital.”

“No memory. Do I have a doctor?”

“I’m not discussing this right now.” I sighed.

Nicole frowned. “I'm the one who can't remember anything. I'd appreciate some help, ya know.” She muttered. 

“I’m tired and frustrated. Just be quiet.”

She sighed and looked out the window. 

We got to the hospital and I lead her to her doctor’s office.

“Hello Nicole.” The doctor smiled. “How are you?”

“I don’t know who you are.”

“That's okay. I'm Dr Rachel Conningham, your doctor. We've met several times, but that doesn't matter. Come in, sit down.”

Nicole rolled her eyes and sat down.

“Sorry about her.” I mumbled. “We’re still a bit jetlagged.”

“It’s fine.” She assured. 

“It’s not the jetlag.” She murmured.

“Let's talk about what's been happening.” The doctor said. “So tell me what happened in Japan.”

“I don’t know.”

“Sarah?”

“We just sort of did some sightseeing, and went shopping. When we went to visit a temple, she just sort of blanked out and lost her memory.”

“I see. And what was it you said about speech?”

“There was a period of time where everything she said was mumbled.”

She frowned. “Alright, I'm going to have you admitted to get some tests done.”

Nicole shook her head and went to leave.

I took her crutches and sighed. “Come on Nic, they won't hurt.” I turned to the doctor. “Will they?”

“Um…”

“I’m not doing it.”

“Nicole, we need to figure out what's causing your problems so we can fix them.” The doctor explained. “You'll probably be home by tonight anyway.”

“I’m not going.” She reiterated firmly.

“Yes, you are.” I grunted. 

“No I’m not!” She said, starting to clench her fists.

I sighed in frustration. “Nicole, you need to help me here.”

“No!” She yelled, swinging her fists, before she stepped back, and burst into tears.

I sighed. “What's wrong Nic?”

“I-I’m sorry.” She whimpered.

“Nicole?” I asked, helping her back onto the seat. “What's going on?”

“I-I don’t know.” She cried.

“Then why are you crying?”

“B-Because I almost h-hit you…”

“What?”

“Aggression is a symptom.” The doctor said softly. “You did a good job refraining it Nicole.”

Nicole just continued crying.

I hugged her. “It's okay. It's okay.”

“I-I’m sorry Mom.”

“You didn't do anything to be sorry for.” I assured. 

“Y-Yes I did!”

“No, you didn't.” I promised. “What kind of tests doc?”

“N-No needles.” Nicole whispered.

“A brain scan and um… a spinal tap.” She answered. 

“N-No, n-nothing p-please. N-No tests.”

I ignored Nicole's remarks and sighed. “Alright. Let's do them quickly.”

“N-No! Please!” She wailed.

She nodded. “Let's do the scan first. No needles Nicole, don't worry.”

“I-I don’t want the t-tests Mommy.” She whimpered.

“It'll be fine Nic.” I promised. 

“I-I’m scared.”

“You don't have to be.” The doctor promised. “All you have to do is lie still on a bench for a few minutes. It's quite easy.”

“B-But what if I move?”

“No issue. We’ll just try again.”

“B-But then it’ll take longer, and it’ll be inconvenient!”

“It will be fine.” She promised. “Lets go.”

Nicole was still nervous the entire way.

“You'll be fine Bub.” I promised, helping her into the bench. 

She was still terrified and started crying again.

“Shh. It'll be fine.” I soothed, stroking her hair. “I’ll be just outside until the scan finishes, okay?”

“I-I don’t wanna get a-a scan.”

“It'll be over before you know it.”

“I-I hope so.”

We did the scan successfully, and Nicole was crying again at the end. We were informed the results wouldn't be for a few days, so we just headed to a room. 

“I-I don’t like this Mommy.”

“I know Nic.” I apologised. “Sorry.”

“W-Why are w-we doing this?”

“Because you’re sick, and we want to make you better.”

“I-I don’t like this at a-all.”

“You’re not going to like the next test…” The doctor mumbled.

“W-Why?” She whimpered, tears already forming again.

“Spinal taps are… painful.”

“I-I don’t wanna b-be hurt.” She cried.

“We just need a sample of spinal fluid Nicole.” She sighed.

“I-Isn’t there any o-other way?”

She shook her head. “Not without a full blown operation.”

Nicole started shaking and crying. “P-Please don’t do it.”

“I’m sorry Nicole.” She apologised. “I’ll go get a colleague and we’ll be back soon.”

“D-Don’t let them do it Mommy.”

“Nicole, I’m sorry.” I sighed.

“N-No, please!” She begged.

I sighed again and just hugged her as she cried.

“I-I don’t want a spinal t-tap.” She whimpered when the doctor returned.

“I know.” She sighed. “But it’s about what you need Nicole.”

“W-What do you n-need me to do?”

“Lie on your side for me.”

Nicole sniffled and lied on her side.

“Sarah, you’re going to want to take her hand.” The doctor advised. “This is often described to be more painful than childbirth.”

“D-Don’t do it!” Nicole cried out.

The doctor sighed, and got started. Nicole screamed and clutched onto me.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” She asked between sobs.

“Almost done, almost done.” The doctor murmured. “You’re doing so well.”

“STOP!” She wailed.

“And done! Just hold still, we have to take the needle out.”

“Just get it out!” 

She pulled it out and put a bandaid over the hole. “And done!”

“G-Go away!”

“It’s all done Nicole. No more tests.”

“Go away!” She cried.

“Alright, alright. You’re free to go home now.”

“It hurts s-so, so m-much.”

“I know Nic. I’m sorry.” I apologised. “It’s all over now. It’s all over.”

She just curled up and cried, while wincing in pain.

I sighed and gently stroked her hair. “Want me to call your Dad?”

“I-I don’t know.” She whimpered.

“Do you want to go home?”

“B-But I’m s-so sore.”

“That’s okay, you can lie here for a bit bub.”

“O-Okay.” She whispered.

“Does it still hurt?”

She nodded and snuggled with the pillow.

“Sorry bub.” I apologised again.

“I-It’s not helping.” She cried.

I called the doctor back and asked for some pain medication to try and help.

“Okay, I’ll get some. The pain should die down though.”

“Thanks.” I nodded.

“No problem.” The doctor assured before leaving.

“I d-don’t like her. S-She hurt me.”

“She’s just trying to help bub.”

“D-Doesn’t feel like it.” Nicole muttered, before letting out another cry of pain.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

The doctor returned. “I have some pills here.”

Nicole took the pills and curled back up on the bed.

“That should help.”

“It’s not working yet.” She whispered.

“It’ll take a few minutes to kick in.”

“I-I want it to work now.”

“I know.” I sighed.

She sat there, still crying for another 5 minutes before it finally started calming down. 

“Feeling better Nic?”

“A-A bit.”

“That’s good.” I smiled.

“C-Can we go home yet?”

“Sure bub.”

She climbed out of the bed.

I handed Nicole her crutches and we went out to the car. Nicole was still wincing in pain.

“I’ll be okay bub.”

“M-Maybe…”

We got home and Nicole curled up on the couch.

“What happened?” Brendon asked.

“She had a spinal tap.”

He winced. “I’m sorry Nic. Those suck.”

“Y-Yeah.” She whispered.

“It’ll be okay.” He assured.

She shrugged. “W-Will you m-make me coffee?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

She smiled slightly. “Thanks.”

He got up and made the coffee.

“I t-think I’m s-starting to r-remember this place.” Nicole murmured.

“That’s good.” I smiled.

“L-Like, K-Kaitlyn always sits in this chair, you sit in this one.” She pointed at the chairs at the kitchen table. “B-But I can’t remember which one is mine and which one is Dad’s.”

I pointed to the chairs at the end of the table. “Those are the one’s you and Brendon usually sit on.”

“Oh, okay.” She nodded.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. A little.” She shrugged.

“That’s good.”

She nodded. “Yeah. I remember one of the dogs… but I don't remember the other one.”

“Which one?”

“Ollie.”

“Oh okay. I can bring the other one, Opal here if you want.”

“Uh… sure.”

I went and got Opal, and ended up with Ollie following me too.

“It's still weird that's there two…” Nicole murmured. “I feel like there's a glitch in the Matrix.”

“Hopefully you get used to it.”

“Me too.”

“Anyway, they really missed you.”

She smiled slightly. “Yeah.”

“I think they missed everyone.”

“Who did they stay with?”

“Gerard came over and fed them and stuff every day.”

“Who’s Gerard?”

“Your Dad’s friend.”

“Oh, okay. Have I met him?”

“Yeah. He picked us up from the airport.”

“Oh, that guy.” Her cheeks went pink. “I thought he was an uber driver.”

“That’s alright. But that’s Gerard. You’ll probably see a lot of him.

“Okay. I'll try to remember.”

I smiled. “Okay bub.”

Brendon came in, and picked up the alt press magazine. 

“You probably don’t wanna read that.”

“I feel like I need to.” He murmured. 

“Okay.” I sighed.

He took the magazine out to the studio. 

“I really don’t trust him.” I mumbled.

“Go with him then.” Nicole shrugged. 

I got up and went into the studio. I knocked on the door, before walking in.

“What?” Brendon asked, glancing up from the page. 

“I’m worried about you lashing out…” I murmured.

He frowned. 

“I know you hate me for it, but you haven’t been in the greatest state of mind.”

“I know.” He muttered. “You can stay if you want. My candy is in the bottom drawer if you're hungry.”

I smiled slightly and sat down.

He read the article, and remained relatively calm. 

“So what’s gonna happen now?” I asked.

He shrugged. “The record label will probably go and get mad at them. We can't really sue, because there's nothing really false in there. I don't know how they found out about Jax though…”

I frowned. “That sucks Bren. There must be something you can do.”

“Just ignore it I guess. It's stupid that they know all about the kids though. That annoys me.”

“You didn’t even say anything about them. You were hiding it so well.”

“The paparazzi have been following us I guess.” He muttered. “I guess we just try to keep things quiet.”

“That’s not okay though Bren.”

“They already know Sarah. We can't wipe it when it's already out there.”

“Can’t we just lie?”

“They wouldn't believe us when they have proof.”

“We can say it was someone else’s kids, that we were babysitting?”

“I don't know if they'd believe us Sarah. They know about Ryan's kids too. Plus Kaitlyn came on stage in Japan.”

“But we have to try. I don’t want them hurt….”

“Then we increase security. We’ll sort it out.”

“What if we get Zack back? Do we need a bodyguard?”

“I don't think the girls need a bodyguard. If we go to a function, then yes we can bring Zack back. But not just for school and stuff. That's over the top.”

“Honestly Brendon, being in the spotlight because we’re your family is a bit exhausting. We need to solve this.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “I'll talk to Ryan and the label.”

I nodded. “Do you ever worry that the girls will get stuck in your shadow forever? Like, whatever they do will only be important because they’re  _ your _ daughters?”

He rubbed his eyes. “I don't know Sarah.”

“I’m just worried that they’ll think they’re unimportant.”

“Well, then we make them feel important.”

I nodded. “Okay, well, do you want some alone time?”

“Please don't leave…”

“Oh, okay, I won’t.”

He opened his drawer and chucked me some candy. “I like having you around.”

I smiled. “Okay then.”

“Wanna, wanna go out for dinner tonight? Just you and me?”

“If Gerard can look after the girls, I’d love to.”

He smiled. “Awesome.”

“Let’s ask. I really wanna have some private time with you. We haven’t had some in ages.”

He nodded and went outside to call Gerard. 

I went back to the lounge and Nicole was sitting there, staring at the TV.

“Hey Bub.” I smiled. 

“Hey Mom.” She smiled slightly.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“That's good.”

She nodded. “I think I’m remembering stuff too.”

“Awesome.” I beamed. 

She noddec. “Yeah.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Well I think I remember Bandit.”

“And Gerard?”

“Vaguely.”

“Oh good.”

“How’s it going with Dad?”

“Pretty good actually.”

“Oh, that’s good!”

I nodded. “We’re just sorting some things out.”

“Oh, okay.” She smiled.

“What are you watching?” I asked, leaning back.

“A random cooking show. You can change it.”

“It’s okay, we can watch this.”

“Alright.” She shrugged.

We watched for a while, before Brendon came in.

“Girls! Grab your things! You’re going to Gerard’s house!”

“What? Why?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Your mother and I have a date.”

“Oh, okay.” She shrugged. 

She came out with her school backpack filled up.

“What should I take?” Nicole asked.

“Whatever you want bub.” I answered.

“Uh…” She paused. “What do I normally take? I don’t remember.”

“Probably just your IPad.”

“Okay, that’s easy enough.”

I nodded. “Should I get ready now Brendon?”

He nodded. “Wear something formal.”

“Okay.” I smiled, already finding myself excited.

He grinned at me and disappeared to get ready himself.

I went through the wardrobe and tried to find something to wear, but couldn’t decide.

“I like the blue one.” Brendon called from the bathroom.

“Thanks.” I giggled, pulling out the blue dress.

He winked. “Anytime.”

I rolled my eyes and went into the studio to quickly get changed.

When it came time to go, Brendon emerged in a suit with a glittery blazer.

“You look amazing Bren.” I smiled.

He grinned. “So do you babe.”

“Are you ready?”

“Yep. Girls?”

“Uh, ready.” Kaitlyn murmured, coming out with her books in her arms.

“Alrighty, let’s go!”

We all got into the car, and both the girls were quiet. Kaitlyn was busy reading and Nicole just stared at the window, still seeming kind of confused.

“Everything okay bub?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah, it’s fine.”

“You just look a bit confused.”

“I’m still just figuring everything out.”

“Fair enough.”

She nodded and returned to silence.

We arrived at Gerard’s, and Nicole still seemed remarkably confused.

“Come on Nic, let’s go.” 

“I don’t know where we are.”

“This is Gerard’s house.”

“Oh.”

“Come on, I’ll reintroduce you.”

“I-Is he g-going to be offended?”

“Probably not. I don’t think so. He’s really understanding.”

“Does he h-have a wife? What about her?”

“Don’t worry Nicole. They’re all very nice.”

She nodded hesitantly.

We walked up to the door and Brendon knocked,

“Hey Urie’s!” Gerard smiled.

“Hey Gerard!” Brendon smiled.

“Hey girls.” He smiled. “Come on in, we’re planning a movie marathon night. We got caramel popcorn and everything.”

Kaitlyn smiled and walked in, and Nicole wavered beside me nervously.

“Gee, can I talk to you and Lindsey?” I asked.

“Yeah, of course.”

We walked into the kitchen and I took a deep breath. “Um… I should probably just inform you of something… please don’t be offended, it’s not her fault.”

“I’m not going to be, don’t worry. Just tell me what’s going on.”

“Nicole doesn’t remember you. Or this place. At all.”

“Oh….but why?”

“We were in Japan, and she just blanked out. Couldn’t remember anything other than me, Brendon and Kaitlyn. Not even her own name. She’s slowly remembering things, but at the moment, I’m afraid you’re not on the list.”

“Okay…” He breathed. “This may be difficult.”

“She’s just a bit nervous. She’ll be fine, just needs some time to adjust.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“It’s not too hard, right?”

“I’ll try my best.”

“Thanks Gee.” I smiled.

“It’s fine.” He assured.

We walked back out to the lounge, and Nicole forced a smile. “H-Hey…”

“So this is Gerard.”

“H-Hi…” She said nervously.

“Hey Nicole.” He smiled sitting beside her.

“I-It’s nice t-to s-see you?” She tried to smile, hiding her confusion.

“It’s nice to see you too.”

She bit her lip and looked down at her lap.

“Look, I don’t mind that you don’t remember. You don’t have to be nervous.”

“Y-Yeah. It’s just a bit weird. Like talking to a s-stranger that knows everything about you.”

“Well I don’t know  _ everything _ .”

“It’s still weird though.”

“Is there any way to make it less weird?”

“Um… I don’t know, sorry.”

“That’s okay.”

Lindsey walked over. “It’s okay Girly. Let’s get some movies started, and we’ll have a good time.”

She nodded unsurely and Lindsey started a movie. Gerard was making popcorn and Kaitlyn was nowhere to be seen.

“Little worm!” Brendon called.

“In the guest room!”

Brendon left to go and find her.

I ended up following him, and she was once again sprawled out with a bunch of books.

“What are you up to?” Brendon asked. 

“Studying.” She murmured, flicking the page.

“Why?” I asked.

“My science teacher enrolled me in a program to start college degrees early.” She shrugged.

“When?! What?! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“B-Because I-I didn’t want you t-to say n-no…” She whimpered.

Brendon hugged her. “God, I’m proud of you. I have to go now, but we can talk about this tomorrow, okay?”

She nodded unsurely and hugged him back.

“Don’t study all night little worm. Go watch a movie. I’ll be back later.”

She nodded and smiled slightly, before waving us goodbye.

Brendon and I walked back out to the car, still a little shocked.

“Well that was, interesting.” I murmured, putting on the seat belt.

Brendon nodded. “To say the least.”

“At least it wasn’t bad. I hope Nic will be okay.”

“Me too.”

“I’ve got to stop worrying.” I sighed.

Brendon hugged me and kissed my forehead. “Let’s go have an amazing night.”

I smiled and nodded.

We drove out for a while until we reached a rather fancy restaurant.

“This seems nice.” I smiled taking Brendon’s hand as we walked from the car.

He smiled. “Wait till you see inside.”

I giggled and my smile grew.

We walked through the foyer, and I glanced at the tables, hoping to see one with our name on it. Brendon shook his head. “We have a  _ special  _ table.”

“Ooo, fancy Mr Urie.”

He smiled. “Only the best, Mrs Urie.”

I blushed and continued following him around.

We ended up on the rooftop, at a table for two surrounded by fairy lights. It was stunning.

“This is amazing Brendon.” I looked around in amazement.

He smiled. “I’m glad you think so.”

We sat down and I was still remarkably happy. I felt so spoilt.

“So, how’s the most amazing woman I know?”

I felt my face go red. “P-Pretty good? How are you?”

He smiled. “Pretty good.”

“That’s good.” I beamed.

“It’s good to be home.” He nodded. “As amazing as our holiday was, it’s always good to be home.”

“Always.” I smiled. “I’m glad we’re back too.”

“What about Kaitlyn? College stuff? God, she’s a smart kid.”

I smiled and nodded. “It’s awesome.”

“It certainly is.”

“Unexpected though. She never said anything about it.”

“Yeah. She said she was worried we’d say no. Why…. Why would she think that?” Brendon asked.

“I don’t really know.”

“We should ask.”

“Yeah, probably.”

A waiter came out and presented us with menus, before pouring us some champagne.

“Oh, thank you.” I smiled.

He smiled.

I started looking through the menu and wasn’t sure what to choose.

“I’ll have the fish of the day.” Brendon shrugged.

“I don’t know what I want.” I murmured.

The waiter shrugged. “Would you like me to return later?”

“No, I’ll just have the same.”

He nodded and disappeared.

“This place is so nice.”

Brendon smiled. “It is.”

“Thanks for bringing me here Bren.”

“You deserve it.” He grinned.

“Aww, thanks.” 

He grinned and took a sip of the champagne.

“I love going out with you like this.”

“Me too.”

“I just hope the girls are okay.” I mumbled.

“They’re fine.” Brendon assured.

“I hope so…”

The waiter brought our food out to eat.

“This looks amazing, thank you.” Brendon smiled.

The waiter smiled and left us to eat.

“Tastes good too.” I smiled, some food still in my mouth. My cheeks went red.

He smiled. “I love you, Sarah Urie.”

“I love you more Brendon Urie.”

“I doubt it, Sarah Urie. I love you most.”

I blushed. “If you say so Brendon.”

After dinner, we went for a walk, and we made it to a beach area. Brendon grabbed a towel from the car and laid it down for us to lay on.

“You really know how to spoil me Brendon.”

He pulled out a small wrapped box. “Only because you deserve it.”

“Oh Brendon. You're already doing too much.”

He smiled. “Never too much.”

“What have I done for you though Bren? It's unfair.”

“You take care of me.”

“That’s nothing though Brendon.”

“It’s so much.”

I smiled slightly. “I just do it because I love you.”

I blushed.

“It’s really nice here.”

“It certainly is.” I nodded.

“And I’m glad I got to come here with you.” He smiled, taking my hand.

I giggled and snuggled into him.

“You’re the best Sarah.”

“You’re better Brendon.”

“Never. Nope. Impossible.” He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me.

“Very possible.” I nodded.

“I’ll never believe you.”

“I’ll never believe  _ you. _ ”

“Fine.” He smiled. “I guess we’ll just have to disagree.”

“Agreed.” I nodded.

He smiled again and gave me a quick kiss. “I’ll always think you’re better.”

“I’ll never be as brilliant as you.”

“I don’t know what brilliance you are talking about.”

“Shh.” I smiled, before pressing a kiss to his lips.

“You’re a better kisser too.”

“Not at all.”

“100%”

“Nope.”

“Very stubborn, aren’t you?”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

He chuckled and connected our lips once again.

We kissed for a while, until Brendon’s phone started ringing.

He groaned and answered the call.

“Hey Brendon? It’s Gerard.”

“What’s up? Is everything okay? What’s wrong!?”

“You know how Sarah said that Nicole blanked out and forgot everything? Well, that happened again. She doesn’t even remember Kaitlyn this time. And she’s terrified.”

“We’ll get there as soon as we can

“Sorry for interrupting your date.”

“It’s okay Gerard. Thanks for telling us.”

“No problem. I have to go. Bye.”

“Bye Gerard.”

He hung up and I sighed. “Let’s go.”

I frowned and nodded.

We walked back to the car, and drove to Gerard’s house. Nicole was sitting in the lounge room with her head in her hands.

“See, your Mom and Dad are here now. It’s all okay.” Gerard tried to assure.

She looked up at us. “W-Who are t-t-those people?”

“Your parents….?”

She shook her head. “I-I don’t k-know them! W-What’s g-going on?!”

“It’s okay, calm down. Can you remember anything?”

“M-My M-Mom is… I d-don’t r-remember, and my Dad is Tom and I-I have a l-little b-brother, and h-he’s only t-two….”

I sighed. “Let’s just go to the hospital.”

Nicole shook her head. “I-I’m not g-going anywhere w-with you people!”

“Fine, just call an ambulance Brendon.”

She shook her head again and bolted for the door.

Brendon nodded unsurely and started calling.

Lindsey stood up and covered the front door. “Nicole, we need to take you to the hospital.”

“GET AWAY FROM ME!”

“I’m not touching you.” Lindsey whispered. “If you want proof, go look at the photos on your Mom’s phone.”

“M-My Mom’s not here.”

“Look at the photos on Sarah’s phone then. Give us time to explain, okay?”

“I-I don’t know…”

“Nic, you have something called Huntington’s, okay? And it causes you to forget things. Right now, you’ve forgotten about the last… 4 years of your life.”

“Th-that doesn’t sound right.”

“I know. Look, come sit down and we’ll talk through it.”

She nervously sat down.

“So, tell me about everything you can remember.”

“J-Jaxon, a-and M-Mom, sh-she’s at w-work and D-Dad, I-I don’t know w-what happened.”

“Okay. How old are you?”

“11?”

“You’re 15.”

“N-No I’m not!”

“Look in the mirror.”

She looked in the mirror and burst into tears.

“Shh. It’s okay.” I assured. “Don’t worry.”

“I-I don’t l-look right.”

“Yes, you do. You’re a little pale, but you’re normal. You’ve just lost your memory, okay? It’ll come back.”

“Th-this isn’t r-right!” She stammered, grabbing her hair and crying.

I gently pulled her arms down, and led her back to the couch. “Nic, I know it’s scary, but you just have to listen to me.”

“I-It makes no sense!”

“As I said, you have a disease that makes you forget things.”

“No I-I don’t!”

I sighed. “Yes, you do.”

“I-I don’t even know who y-you are?”

“I’m your mother- adoptive mother, I should say.”

“I want m-my real M-Mom.”

“Nicole, your real Mom is currently an alcoholic and you were taken out of her care by child services.”

“B-But she’s my Mommy.”

“Yes, but she’s not a very good one Nikki. She wasn’t around to look after you or Jax, so you came to live with me and Brendon.”

“I want my M-Mommy!”

I sighed. “Is the ambulance coming Bren?”

He nodded. “They should be here soon.”

“M-Mommy!” Nicole started crying.

“Shh, it’s okay.”

“W-Where’s J-Jax? Did you k-kidnap him too?!”

“We didn’t kidnap you Nicole. Jax is… Jax passed away.”

“W-What’d you do to him?!” She wept.

“Nothing, Nicole, nothing. It was a freak accident. There was a house fire, and he inhaled too much smoke.”

“W-Why didn’t you save him?! Why d-didn’t  _ I _ save him?” She cried.

“You tried Nic. We all tried.”

“I HATE YOU!” She cried, swinging her fists around. “I HATE YOU SO MUCH!”

I took a step back. “Nikki, Nikki calm down.”

“YOU’RE STUPID, AND USELESS, AND AWFUL AND I HATE YOU!”

“Nicole, kid, please.” Brendon grabbed her arms. “We’re trying to help you.”

“YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE!”

The sound of sirens echoed in the distance and I was so relieved when the paramedics arrived.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” She wailed.

They somehow convinced her to get in the ambulance, and we headed to the hospital.

“I-I don’t like hospital.” She sniffled.

“I know Nic.” I sighed.

She continued crying all the way through the hospital, and although she was still confused, she just stopped asking questions.

“S-Sarah?”

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“W-What about m-my Daddy? C-Can I s-see him?”

“I’m not sure Nic. We’ll see.”

“I w-want D-Daddy.” She started to cry.

“I know, I know. I’ll see what I can do.”

“P-Please!”

“ I’m going to try, okay?”

We arrived at the hospital, and Nicole was given a room with two beds. The other kid was asleep, and thankfully, Nicole’s cries didn’t wake her.

“It’s okay Nicole, calm down.” 

She shook her head. “N-Not u-until my M-Mom and Dad are h-here!”

“They aren’t coming.” I sighed.

“W-What!? N-No! I n-need them!”

“I’m sorry.” I sighed.

Nicole burst into another round of tears, and tried to make a run for the exit.

“No, Nicole, stay here.” 

She pushed past me and ran out into the corridor.

I sighed and chased her down the hallway.

“M-Mom! Dad!” She called, running as fast as she could.

“Nicole, come here.” 

“Nuh uh!” She yelled, turning a corner.

Eventually, some nurses stepped in and brought her back.

“Thanks.” I puffed, catching my breath from all the running.

They laid her back down and she was still fighting.

“I w-want my D-Daddy!” She cried.

“We’ll get your dad sweetheart, I promise.” 

“P-Please!”

“Just wait here, and I’ll get him.” 

“O-Okay…” She whimpered.

The nurse smiled and left the room.

“I j-just w-want my p-parents.” She cried.

“They’re coming.”

She sniffled. “D-Do you have my b-blankie?”

“I don’t, sorry.” 

“C-Can you g-get it?”

“Depends where it is.”

“I d-don’t know where it is.”

“Then I can’t help.” 

“B-But please! I-It’s purple! It has satin edges and it’s name is cinnamon and it’s my favourite thing!”

“I’ll see what I can do.” 

“O-Okay.”

I stepped out of the room and just sighed.

Brendon walked over. “Any improvement?”

“Nope.”

He sighed. “I heard you went for a run.”

“Yeah, a bit.” I murmured. “I am so glad you don’t do that anymore.” 

“Me too.”

“Don’t become a runner again, I swear to god.” I muttered, going back into the room.

“D-Did you g-get it?” Nicole asked desperately.

“I don’t know where it is.” 

“B-But you said you d-did!”

“I said I’d see what I could do.” 

“But you d-didn’t do anything!”

“Nicole, there’s nothing I can do.” 

She started crying again.

The nurse came back in. “Your father will be here soon, I just needed his doctor’s permission.” 

“O-Okay.” She whispered.

After a while, Nicole’s actual father came in, being wheeled in a wheelchair with his doctor’s assistance.

“Dad!” Nicole cried, launching into his unexpecting arms.

“H-Hey Nic.” He smiled weakly.

“Did the doctors tell you what’s happened?” I asked.

He nodded and rubbed her back.

“A-All these w-weird p-people keep s-saying they’re m-my parents Dad!” She cried.

“Nikki, a lot of stuff’s happened, okay? You’ve got to listen to me.” 

“O-Okay…”

“So you’ve got this disease, it’s really mean, and Daddy’s got it too. But it’s made it so you can’t remember anything. Those people, they’re Brendon and Sarah, they’re super nice, and adopted you when Mommy had a bit of a slump.” 

“S-She wouldn’t g-get cinnamon for me though Dad!”

“Mommy still has cinnamon Nikki.” 

“C-Can we g-go get it?”

“Maybe later Nikki.” 

“B-But I need it D-Dad!” She panicked.

“I know Nikki, but we can’t get it right now.” 

Brendon grabbed the keys. “What’s the address?”

“I’ll go.” I said. “I already know where.” 

Brendon hugged me. “Stay safe.”

“I will. Call me if you need me.”

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

“I don’t like this Dad.” I whispered.

“I know Nikki.” He sighed. “I don’t like it when it happens to me either.”

“W-Will my memory ever come back?” 

“Mine just takes a week or two. I think yours will be the same.” He explained. “Don’t worry Nikki.”

“Th-that’s a l-long time.”

“I know.” He sighed.

“W-What else is gonna happen?”

“Uh… this is a conversation for another time.”

“P-Please, I wanna know.”

He looked at me sadly. “Not right now.”

I frowned. “Fine.” 

“Do you wanna get off my lap Nikki?” He asked awkwardly.

“D-Do you want me to?” 

“Yeah, you’re kind of crushing my legs.”

“Sorry.” I sniffled, climbing back into my bed.

“It’s fine Nic. Don’t worry.” He assured.

“Whatever.” I mumbled.

“I’m going to get a hot dog, you two want anything?” Brendon asked.

“No, it’s fine.” Dad answered.

I shook my head.

He nodded before leaving. I just stayed curled up in bed.

“Nikki, what’s wrong?” Dad asked.

“I wanna remember everything.” 

He sighed. “It’ll just take some time.”

“I-I just wanna remember my life.” 

“I know.” He breathed. “So do I Nik.”

“It’s scary.” 

“Very.”

I just gripped onto the pillow and cried into that.

Dad sighed. “Nikki, sweetheart, I know it’s really scary, but you’ll start remembering really soon.”

“B-But y-you said a w-week?” I whimpered. “That’s s-so long.” 

“That’s for everything. The big things will come back soon, I promise.”

“O-Okay.” I whispered.

He nodded.

“I-I don’t like this.” 

Brendon came in with a hot dog and sat back down. “How’s it going?”

“B-Bad…” 

“Oh.”

I nodded and snuggled back up with the pillow.

“So how’s everything going for you Tom?” I asked.

“Good?” 

“That’s good.” Brendon smiled.

He nodded and smiled slightly.

“And how’s Corinne?”

“She’s pretty good, working right now, actually.”

“Oh. That’s good, I guess.”

He nodded.

“W-Who’s C-Corrine?” I whispered.

“My new girlfriend, well, partner.”

“W-What about M-Mommy?”

“We had a bit of a falling out.” 

“W-Why?”

“Because of this silly disease.” 

“Oh.”

“But it’s all okay.” 

“A-Are you okay?”

He nodded. “Yep.” 

“G-Good.”

“You will be too.” 

“Y-You make t-that sound like I-I’m not…”

“Well right now you’re scared, which isn’t okay.”

“Oh.”

“But you’ll be fine.”

I nodded uncertainly.

“God this wheelchair is uncomfortable.”

“Why are you in it?”

“Because I can’t walk very far at all on my own anymore.” 

I frowned. 

“It’s nothing though.” 

“B-But you m-must be sad when y-you can’t walk!”

“Not really. You just get used to it.” 

“I-Is that g-g-gonna happen to m-me?!” I panicked.

“Depends.” 

I started to panic, and Dad noticed.

“It’s okay Nic, it’s not that bad, don’t worry.” 

“I w-want Mommy!” I cried.

“She’s not here right now Nic.” 

“M-Mommy!” I cried.

“Shh, Shh.” 

“I w-want M-Mommy!”

“I know, I know, but Mommy’s in jail again.” He sighed.

“W-What?!”

“Mommy got in trouble again Nic.” 

“D-Do I have t-to work w-with you f-for the money t-to get her o-out again?” 

“No, no, of course not.”

“O-Okay.” 

“Hang on, what?” Brendon asked.

“W-When M-Mommy got into jail the f-first time, I-I worked with Dad and w-we got lots of money to g-get her out again!” 

Dad sighed. “We did a bake sale to raise money for a lawyer. It’s not as bad as it sounds, I promise.”

“And then when I went to help Uncle Dave with all the cars.” 

“What? I just asked him to babysit you!”

“I got very dirty. He said it was oil. I don’t know. It was stinky. And then he showed me how to fix cars!” 

“I will be giving my brother a call.” He muttered angrily.

“And then I got to do one all by myself for a nice old lady while he said he was going out with friends. I think they went across the road, I don’t know.” 

“He shouldn’t have done that Nic.”

“Why not?” 

“Because you were six.”

I shrugged. “It was fun. But one of the poles hit me. I didn’t think poles were supposed to fall out of cars.” 

“No, they are not.”

“Weird.” I mumbled.

Sarah walked in the door, cinnamon in hand.

I smiled. “Cinnamon!” 

Sarah passed it to me. “You have no idea how hard it was to find this bub.”

“Thank you so much!” 

“I met your Mom, finally.”

“Why didn’t you bring her here?” 

“Well, I was called an abundance of names… including but not limited to ‘child napper’, ‘horrible person’ and ‘I hope you die’ and ‘I hope Nicole rips your intestines out while you sleep’.”

“Oh…” 

“Anyway, other than that, I found your blanket.”

“Thank you Sarah.” 

“No problems Bub.”

I snuggled up with cinnamon and was on the verge of sleep.

“You can sleep Nikki.” Dad assured.

“Okay.” I smiled and curled up, before falling asleep.


	37. Chapter 36 - Study

“The hospital beds in Japan were more comfortable than this.” I mumbled.

Mom nodded. “I can imagine.”

“How long have you even been here?” I asked.

“4 hours?”

“Ugh, that’s too long.” I mumbled.

“Feeling better Nic?”

I nodded and rubbed my eyes.

“That’s good.” She smiled.

I nodded again. “I suppose so.” 

“Getting some memory back?”

“I guess so?” 

“Awesome.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty great.” 

“Your Dad had to go, sorry.”

“Oh, okay. Is he alright?” 

“Yeah, he’s fine. Just went home for dinner.”

“Oh, okay.” 

“Are you ready to come home?”

“I guess so?” 

She smiled. “Awesome.”

I folded up my blanket and sat up.

“Do you remember last night’s events?”

“Eh, vaguely?” 

“It was… interesting to say the least.”

“Great.” I mumbled.

“Your mother doesn’t like me at all.”

“Seems that way.”

She nodded.

“Sorry for sending you on a goose hunt.” 

“Nah, it was fine. Your old apartment seems to have gotten worse, and I don’t know why it was shoved under the sink, but anyway. I found it.”

“Well, thank you.” 

She shrugged. “No problems.”

“I missed it so much but was too embarrassed to ask.” 

Sarah giggled. “You could have. You know Kaitlyn has a blanket too. God, parenting 101. Let your children keep their blankets for all eternity.”

I giggled. “Yeah. I just hope it doesn’t get wrecked.” 

“Well, you take care of it.”

“I will.” I assured, holding it to my chest.

She giggled. “Alright.”

“Can we go now?” 

“I’ll talk to the doctor.”

“Okay!”

She left and returned a few minutes later. “Alright, let’s go.”

I beamed. “Okay!” 

*******Sarah’s Point Of View******

We left the hospital and we drove back home. Kaitlyn was studying at the kitchen bench, and Brendon was trying to annoy her.

“Brendon, leave her alone.” I sighed. 

“But she looks so bored!” 

“I have to study.” She muttered.

“I never studied until the day before and  _ I _ still passed. You’ll be fine.”

“I literally have an exam tomorrow, first period.”

“You’ll do fine, little worm.”

“Some people actually have to  _ work  _ for their success.” She muttered.

“But you’re super smart!”

She was silent before she started crying. “I’m gonna fail.” 

“Brendon!” I snapped. “You’re not gonna fail bub.”

“I don’t get any of it!” She sobbed.

I sat down and looked at the books. “Um…”

“I should just give up.” She whimpered, shutting the books.

“No, no, I’ll help you study.” I smiled. “We can work through this.”

“O-Okay.” 

I helped her study for the next hour, and she pretty much knew it all already.

“I still gonna fail. I’m gonna make a fool of myself!” 

“You’re not going to fail bub. You knew every question I asked you.”

“But will I describe it well enough?” 

“Yes, you will.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

I hugged her. “Now, let’s pack this away before you explode from too much studying.”

“I need to make sure I’ll pass!” 

“You’re going to pass bub.”

“No I won’t!” She panicked.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I always do awful in tests!” 

I went and fetched her old report card. “Um… A, A, A+, A, A, A+, Seriously?!”

“I’m just nervous.”

“You don’t need to be nervous bub. You know the content, you’ll do great.”

“I hope so.” 

“Who wants to play a game?” Brendon asked, holding up a spare xbox controller.

“I will!” Nicole smiled.

“Awesome.” He grinned.

They sat down, and Nicole had to try and remember the controls.

“You got this Nic?” He asked.

“Uh...maybe?” 

“Push this one to go, and this one to stop, and use this one to steer.”

“Okay, thanks.

He started the game and was winning for the majority of it, before Nicole figured out how to use the turbo and ended up overtaking him.

“That’s so unfair!” He pouted, throwing the controller down.

Nicole giggled.

He picked the controller back up and frowned. “I broke it again.” He put it on the table. “Sarah!” He whined. “I need a new controller!” 

“You’re a grown man. You can drive to the shop and buy one.”

“But Sarah!” 

“Why not?”

“It’s almost my birthday?” He gave her puppy dog eyes.

“Fine. Wait till your birthday then.”

“But games!”

“Then drive and buy one!”

“You’re a meanie.” He frowned.

“Yes.” I giggled.

“I don’t even want a birthday. Who wants to get older?” 

“I do.” Nicole mumbled.

“Well I’m going out then.”

“Have fun.” I smiled. “Take Kaitlyn, she needs to get out of the house.”

He shook his head and left with the car.

“I might go draw.” Kaitlyn murmured, disappearing to her room.

I flopped back onto the couch and turned the game off after Nicole stopped playing.

“Can I use your computer Mom?” Nicole asked.

“What for?” 

“Research?”

“Fine.” I sighed, knowing she was lying.

“Thanks.” She smiled, taking it and going to her room.

I watched some TV for awhile until Brendon came home.

“Check this out.” He grinned. “Deluxe controller. There’s no way Nicole’s gonna beat me now.”

“That’s awesome Bren.” 

He nodded. “Only cost me 200 bucks. Bargain.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why do I trust you with money?” 

“So I can buy deluxe Xbox controllers.” 

“Right…” 

He winked at me and pulled it out of the box. “Look at all these accessories Sarah!”

“When are you ever gonna use all of this?” 

“When we play forza.”

“You need to learn how to be more responsible with money. We have to be careful, in case something happens.” 

“Alright, alright, no more deluxe controllers.”

“Thank you.” I sighed. “Now, did you get a receipt?”

He clutched it to his chest. “I’m not returning my baby.”

“I’m not gonna make you return it.” I assured.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“I just keep them because you’ll probably break it when it’s still under warranty.” 

“Oh, yeah. Good idea.” He passed me the receipt.

“See, I can be smart sometimes.”

He grinned and kissed me. “I think you’re smart all the time.”

“If you say so.” I mumbled.

“Let’s go annoy the kids.”

“What are you gonna do Brendon?” 

“Random dance parties?”

“Fine.” I grumbled.

We picked on Kaitlyn first, and walked into her room with the stereo on full volume and started dancing.

“DAD GET OUT!” 

Brendon laughed. “Come dance with us little worm!”

“I’m busy.” 

“With?”

“I don’t know.” She mumbled.

I sighed and closed her book. “Enough studying bub.”

“I’m fine. My eyes are a bit sore and blurry, but I’ll be fine.”

“I have to do the groceries. You can come with me.”

“Fine.” She mumbled.

“But first, let’s go annoy Nicole!” Brendon cheered.

They ran into the room and blasted a new song, and started dancing.

Nicole quickly slammed the laptop closed. “Guys, seriously?”

“Yes. Now, what are you doing? Are you watching not safe-for-work videos on Mom’s computer?” 

She made a disgusted face. “No. I am not.”

“Why’d you shut the laptop then?” 

“Because I’m… no reason.”

“Tell me, or I’ll tickle you.” 

“Go for it.”

He raced over and tickled her, before opening up the laptop.

“NO!” She shrieked, slamming it closed again.

“Then tell me what’s going on Nic.” 

She sighed. “If you must know, I’m trying to find a way to prevent my impending death.”

“You gotta stop being paranoid. It’ll be fine.”

“It’s not paranoia Dad.” She sighed. “I’m gonna die, probably before I hit 20, and I don’t really want that to happen, so I’m trying to find a way to prevent it.”

“Fine. Can I help?” He asked.

“The best hope I’ve found costs 300,000 so, unless you have that sort of money, nope.”

“Well I just bought I $200 controller. Show me Nic.” 

She sighed and opened the computer, closing one tab before passing it over. “There’s a trial thing for this new treatment. But you have to pay that much if you want to be a part, and even if, there’s no guarantee.”

“Did you want to try?” 

“Well, I don’t want to die. So yes? But we can’t afford it, so I’m just looking at other weird stuff.”

“No, if you want to do it, you can do it.”

She shook her head. “There’s better things to spend money on.”

“Nope. I’m working on it right now. I’ll be back later.”

She groaned and grabbed his arm. “Please, don’t worry. This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“No, Nic, I want to do this for you.” 

She shook her head. “No.”

“I’m doing it.” He said, racing to the studio.

She groaned, cleared the internet history, and handed me computer back. “Sorry for emptying your savings. I did tell him no.”

“It’s alright Nic.” 

He came back into the room with his laptop. “Can you drop me into the studio like the wonderful wifey you are?” 

“Drive you?”

“Yeah.” 

“You’re lucky I have to do the groceries Bren.” I chuckled. “Come on Kaitlyn! We’re going!”

“You’re the best Sarah.”

I smiled. “Let’s go.”

I dropped Brendon off and he raced into the studio, before Kaitlyn and I headed to the store.

“Alright, let’s get this done.” I murmured, grabbing a cart.

We managed to zoom through the groceries, and had to pick Brendon up on the way home. When he got in the car, he brought in a CD and put it in straight away.

As it was reading, he leaned back and breathed a sigh of relief.

“What is this?” I asked.

“I did it.” He grinned. “I finished the album while we were in Japan, and Robert got the artwork and the compiling done and it’s all getting released tomorrow!” 

“Really?!”

He nodded excitedly and the first song started.

“This is awesome Bren.” I smiled.

He was grinning proudly and singing along to all the songs.

“This is so cool!” Kaitlyn grinned.

“I’m glad you think so.”

We got home and Brendon put his CD in the stereo to continue blasting it.

“Can you turn it off Dad?” Nicole groaned.

“Why?” He asked.

“Cause I’ve got a huge headache?”

He groaned. “But it’s my finished CD! Look at that cover art and everything!”

She groaned and headed back to her room. She slammed the door behind her.

“What’s that all about?” He asked.

I shrugged. “I’m not sure.

“Nicole!” He called, walking into her room.

I followed him in there and she was curled up under her sheets.

“What’s wrong Nic?” Brendon sighed.

“I just have a huge headache, and a stomach ache, and I just feel awful.”

“Want some medicine?”

“Yes please.”

We gave her some panadol, and sat on the couch.

“Thanks.” She said, sitting down beside me.

Kaitlyn had snuck back off to her study books, and had set back up at the kitchen table.

“Kaitlyn, come here with us!”

She shook her head.

“Please?” Nicole asked.

Kaitlyn shook her head again, not looking up from the textbook.

“You’re so boring.” She mumbled.

“But I’ll pass the exam.”

“You would've anyway.”

“I need to study!” She snapped.

“No you don’t!”

“I do!”

“Fine.” Nicole muttered.

“Come on bub, come spend some time with your family.” I sighed.

“I'm busy.”

Brendon walked over and took the books away.

“Dad! Stop being a pain!”

He put the books on the top shelf where she couldn’t get him. “Come on, come spend time with the people who love you.”

“I hate you right now.”

He shrugged and sat back down next to me.

She stacked up a few chairs and got the books down. She dropped them all and fell herself.

“Kaitlyn!” I shrieked, running to help her.

“I-I’m okay.” She sniffled.

“Alright, let’s go out.” Brendon sighed. “No more sitting around here.”

“I-I want to study.”

“Too bad little worm.”

“B-but it's a hobby?”

“No, it is not.”

“Yes it is.”

“Out! Everyone out! We’re going out!”

“N-no, please!”

Brendon ushered us all out to the car, despite Kaitlyn’s protests.

“I don't wanna go out.” Kaitlyn whispered.

“Let’s go have some fun!”

“This isn't gonna be fun.”

Brendon drove us to the mall and led us to the video game store. “Let’s find something cool.”

“Can we go to the bookstore?”

“After.”

“Fine.”

Brendon got a new game before we went to the book store.

Kaitlyn went straight to the textbook section.

“No little worm.” He frowned, directing her to the novels.

“But these are so interesting!” She said, going back to the textbooks.

“Time to leave the bookstore!”

“No, please!”

Brendon led us to a sporting shop instead.

Kaitlyn started crying. 

“Little worm, please, you don’t need to study.”

“I-i’m not gonna sleep if I don't.”

“Why not?”

“B-because I'm too stupid.”

“You’re not stupid bub. You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

“I n-need to drop out of this c-college thing.”

“No, no, you don’t.”

“I'm too dumb!”

“No, you’re not.”

“I will be cause I can't study!”

I grabbed her shoulders and shook her back in forth in frustration. “YOU KNOW ALL THE DAMN CONTENT!”

“B-but what if I fail?” She whimpered, curling up.

“You’re not going to fail!”

“I'm s-sorry.”

I sighed. “Let’s go home Brendon. I give up.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

Kaitlyn hung her head as we headed back to the car.

When we got home, she curled up on the couch and cried.

Brendon and I looked at each other and sighed.

“I'm j-just a pain.”

“No you’re not bub.”

She took a deep breath in. “I'm gonna draw.”

I nodded. “Sure.”

She wandered into her room and shut the door behind her.

I sighed. “I don’t know what to do Bren.”

“Neither do I.” He mumbled.

“This sucks.” I mumbled.

“It does.” He sighed.

“What do we do?”

“All we really can do is talk about it.”

Brendon nodded. “Alright. Let’s just give her some time.”

“That’s probably the best idea.”

We sat down on the couch and I snuggled up to Brendon.

“I love you Sarah.” He whispered.

“I love you too Bren.”

“You’re the best.” He said, quickly kissing me on the forehead.

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. “So are you.”

“Aww, thanks.” He smiled.

I giggled and just enjoyed his embrace.

“You’re nice and warm.” He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me and bringing me closer.

“Mmm.” I murmured.

“Love you.” He whispered again.

“Love you too.”

“I love you more.”

I rolled my eyes. “This will go forever.”

“No it won’t. Cause I love you the most. No argument.”

I giggled. “Okay Bren.”

He smiled and tightened his grip. “No getting away now.”

I rolled my eyes. “Not that I’d want to.”

“Good.” He murmured, resting his head on top of mine.

I smiled and we laid like that for a while.

Nicole came out after a while and just turned the TV on without a word. 

“Hey Nic, what’s up?” Brendon asked.

“Oh, uh...not a lot.”

He frowned. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You seem down.”

“Oh, just, ya know, thinking about death and stuff.” She murmured.

I frowned. “Why?”

“I always am.”

“That’s not healthy Nic.” Brendon stated.

“It’s kinda hard not to.”

“Why?”

“Because of the disease.”

Brendon sighed.

“Don’t worry though.”

Brendon looked at me and I sighed. “I’ll make another psychologist appointment.”

Nicole rolled her eyes, got up, and left.

“Hey, Nic, come back.”

“No, there’s no point. You’re just gonna keep saying I’m crazy.”

“No, you have an actual reason to be upset, unlike me.” Brendon stated. “We just want to help.”

“Fine, what do you have to say?” She sighed, flopping onto the couch.

“Let’s start with what specifically you’re thinking about.”

“Just about not having achieved anything before I die.”

“What kind of things do you want to have achieved?”

“I don’t know, I mean, Kaitlyn’s younger than me and already starting college work, and then you Dad, you’re a famous musician and Mom, you’re just, I don’t know. Perfect?”

“I’m not perfect bub.” I sighed. “Really, really, not perfect.”

“C-closer to it than I-I am.”

“Hey, hey, come here.” Brendon opened his other arm for her to join the hug.

She shuffled into his arms and burst into tears.

“It’s going to be okay Nic.” He sighed.

“I-I don’t ever wanna l-leave you guys.” She cried.

“You don’t have to leave us. Ever.” Brendon assured.

“I-I don’t wanna d-die.”

“I know.” He breathed.

“I-It’s so scary!”

“We’ll be right here bub.” I promised. “We’ll never leave.”

“I-I don’t wanna m-make you s-sad…”

“No, no, you don’t make us sad Nic.” Brendon assured.

“B-But what if I d-die?!”

“Well… then… we’ll probably be sad for a while, but it’ll get better. We’ll still miss you. Always.”

“Y-You should put me u-up for adoption.”

“What?! No!” Brendon panicked. “No, no, never. Never ever ever.”

“I just make everything h-hard.”

“No you don’t Nic.” I assured.

“I-I d-don’t want to make you sad.”

“Hey, well, we’re going to raise the money for that treatment, right?” He assured. “We’re going to do everything we can.”

“There’s no way we’ll get enough.” She sobbed.

“Of course we will!” Brendon assured. “We just got the album released, and I’m about to get a paycheck for all the money we earned through Japan ticket sales. I’ll do a whole world tour if I have to. But I’m going to get you that treatment.”

“Th-thanks Dad.”

He smiled. “No problems Nic.”

“I just hope it works.” She sniffled.

“If it doesn’t, we’ll find something else.”

She nodded and curled up in Brendon’s arms.

“It’s going to be okay Nic.” He whispered.

“I-I hope so.”

My phone buzzed and I looked down at it. “Huh. Your Dad invited us over for dinner Nic.”

“O-Oh….w-why?”

“I don’t know. I guess he just wants to see us.” I shrugged. “Do we want to go?”

“Y-Yeah…” Nicole mumbled.

“Alright.” I nodded, going back to answer the text.

Nicole snuggled back up and was about to fall asleep.

“MOM!” Kaitlyn called.

I leapt up and went to her room. “What’s up bub?”

“I s-spilled p-paint on the c-carpet!” She panicked!”

“Oh...that’s okay, let’s just get as much out as we can.”

She nodded frantically. “H-How?”

“Warm water and soap for now.”

She raced off to the laundry.

We tried to get as much paint off as possible, but it had stained the carpet a bit.

“I-I’m s-s-so sorry!” Kaitlyn cried.

“It’s fine bub, don’t worry.”

She continued scrubbing desperately.

“There’s nothing more we can do. Don’t worry about it.”

“I f-feel so b-bad!”

“It’s fine, I promise. Don’t worry.”

Brendon walked in. “What’s happening?”

“There was some paint spillage. It’s all sorted now.”

“I-It’s not…” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“It is, don’t worry Kaitlyn.”

Kaitlyn sighed and sat down at her chair. “I m-might not paint anymore.”

“No, no, it’s fine. We’ll work something out.”

She shook her head and grabbed a pencil.

I sighed and left the room.

“Mom, did you take cinnamon?” Nicole asked.

“It should be in your room?”

“Not there for some reason.”

I sighed. “I don’t know where it is. Check the wash.”

She went to the laundry. “Here it is! Thanks Mom!”

“It’s fine.” I called back.

“What time do we have to be at Tom’s place?” Brendon asked.

“Uh...soon?”

“Should we get ready?”

“Do we have to?” I groaned.

“I guess so. You already said we’re going.”

I sighed and pulled myself up.

“Where are we going?” Kaitlyn asked.

“To dinner with Nicole’s Dad.” I answered.

“Oh. Okay.”

“So get ready.”

She nodded and disappeared to her room.

“Come on, we’ve got to get ready too.” Brendon said, taking my hand and dragging me to the room.

I groaned. “I honestly just feel like pigging out and ordering pizza.”

“I know, we can do that tomorrow.”

“Fine.”

He smiled and started getting changed.

“Nothing too fancy, right?”

“Smart casual.” He shrugged.

“Fair enough.”

He quickly got dressed and went to check on the girls.

After touching up my lipstick, I grabbed my bag. “Do I need anything?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay, good.”

We all got in the car. 

“Everyone ready?”

“Yep!” Nicole grinned.

I smiled, and we drove to meet up with Nicole's Dad.

“Are you sure this is the place?” Brendon asked as we pulled into what appeared to be a retirement home.

I shrugged. “This is what the address is.”

He sighed. “Alright.”

We all hopped out and Nicole sort of led us, with Kaitlyn wavering behind.

“Hey, Nikki!” Tom smiled.“This is the one!” Nicole smiled, knocking on the door.

Nicole smiled and hugged him. “Hey Dad.”

He stumbled a little bit, but redistributed his weight on his cane and smiled. “It’s good to see you.”

“How's it going?” Nicole asked.

“Good, good.” He smiled. “Come inside, please, make yourselves at home.”

The room was a bit cramped and sad. Nicole sat down with her Dad beside.

“Oh, you’re here!” Corinne smiled. “Lovely to see you all again.”

“It's lovely too see you again also.” I smiled.

“So, what have you guys been up to?” Tom asked.

“Not much, just hanging around.”

“That’s good.” He smiled. “How’s school going?”

“School sucks.” Nicole mumbled.

“Why’s that Nikki?”

“People hate me.”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

“They're just mean for no reason.”

He sighed. “Bullies are the worst.”

She nodded. “They always find me though.”

“How are you going in all your classes?”

“I'm passing?”

“Oh good.” He smiled. “Good, good. Are you still running?”

“I try to.”

He smiled. “That’s good to hear.”

She nodded. “I love running.”

“You always have Nikki.” He smiled.

She giggled. “It's just relaxing.”

Tom laughed. “I used to run in the mornings. As soon as she was old enough to know what I was doing, she demanded to come with me. I don’t think I’ve ever had a single morning run by myself since.”

Nicole beamed.

Brendon smiled. “She wakes me up now, at ridiculous hours I might add.”

“They aren't ridiculous! It's prime exercise time!”

“I like sleep.” He clarified.

“It's nice and cool so you don't get hot, and then if you find a good spot you can watch the sun rise. It's pretty.”

He shrugged. “I guess. And I don’t think I’ve been in better shape for a good while.”

She smiled.

“Dinner’s ready!” Corinne called.

“What's for dinner?” Nicole asked.

“Spaghetti Bolognaise.”

“Sounds good!” She smiled.

We all sat around the table and Corinne passed bowls to everyone except Tom, who didn’t seem to mind.

“Thanks.” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“No problems sweetheart.” Corinne smiled, sitting down herself. “How is everyone?”

“I'm fine.” She mumbled.

“What’s up bub?” I whispered.

“Nothing.”

I sighed. “Alright.”

“Aren’t you going to eat Dad?” Nicole asked.

He shook his head. “I’ll wait until you guys leave.”

“Oh..okay.”

He nodded.

We all ate in silence and Tom sat there awkwardly.

“You can eat if you want?” Nicole offered.

“No, no, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded. “100%”

“Okay…”

He smiled weakly and sat quietly by himself.

We ate in silence mostly, until we were done. I insisted to help with the dishes, despite Corinne telling me not to.

“Did it taste okay?” She asked.

I nodded. “It was lovely, thank you.”

“Oh, that's good.” She breathed a sigh of relief.

“So…” I asked as I scrubbed one of the bowls. “How are you coping?”

“I'm just trying to take it day by day, in case something happens, ya know?”

I nodded in understanding. “That makes sense. I guess we have more time… but we’re trying to do the same.”

“It doesn't get easier.” She sighed.

I grimaced. “Yeah. Any tips?”

“Try not to treat her like she’s dying constantly.”

I nodded. “We’re trying. It’s just hard when she treats herself like that.”

“Well I don’t know how to help there.”

“Does Tom do that at all?”

“Sometimes, he’s getting better at it though.”

“That’s good.”

She nodded. “Just, talk to her, I guess.”

“Will do.” I nodded. 

“Good.” She smiled slightly.

“So… nice place you’ve got here.”

She sighed, but nodded.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s just a bit sad that this is where we’ve ended up.”

“Yeah, I guess. I like the decor though, you’ve really made it homely.”

She smiled. “Yeah, I tried. It is quite nice.”

“It really is.” I smiled.

“Thanks for coming by the way, Tom was really worried about Nicole.”

“Oh, no problems. Thanks for dinner.”

“It’s fine.” She smiled. “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“If you ever need someone to talk to, you know, you’re more than welcome to talk to me. We’re going through a similar thing, so, it’s probably good if we make friends of each other.” I offered.

She smiled gratefully. “That’d be nice.”

I smiled and passed her the last plate. “I’m just a phone call away.”

She nodded. “Sounds good. Same for your too, if something happens or whatever.”

I smiled. “Sounds amazing. Um… I just had a question, what do you do when he blanks out?”

“I’ve actually got like, a scrapbook, and I got through that with him, and I add to it all the time.”

“That’s a good idea.” I nodded. “Mind if we use it?”

“No, it’s fine. It’s usually works pretty well too.”

“That sounds great.” I chuckled awkwardly. “Trying to explain everything is just hard, especially when she forgets about her brother. That’s always hard.”

She smiled sadly, but nodded.

“What’s hardest to explain to Tom?” I asked.

“Losing Nicole and Jaxon. He doesn’t care about their mother, it’s just them.”

I sighed. “I can imagine.”

“That doesn’t get easier either. “

“I don’t think anything is going to get easier.”

“It doesn’t really.”

I sighed. “Yay.”

“At least the doctor’s are a big help.”

“Her doctor is pretty good.” I nodded. “We’re waiting on some results from a brain scan and a spinal tap.”

She made a face. “You’re going to want to prepare yourselves. And don’t let her see it.”

“Why?” I asked, getting worried.

“It’s just not pretty. They generally show you the scan, and they show you a scan of a healthy person, and point out exactly where it’s deteriorated, and it’s just hard. It’s best that Nic’s not there, I mean, seeing that is kind of scarring.”

I took a deep breath in and nodded.

“Also, best not to let her know that they do another one every six months.”

I frowned. “Okay.”

“Do you have any more questions for me?” She asked, turning the kettle on.

“Not right now.”

“Okay. Coffee?”

“Yes please.”

She poured us both a cup and we sat back down.

“So do you two get out much?” I asked.

“We try to.” She shrugged. “He’s not as much a fan anymore because of all the stares we get with the chair, but we make an effort to go to the park or something every day.”

“Oh, okay.” I nodded.

“What about you guys?”

“We’ve been chilling at home the past few days, I don’t know.”

“How was Japan?” She asked.

“It was good.” I smiled slightly.

“That’s awesome.”

“Yeah, it was great. I think everyone had fun.”

“Sounds awesome. I’d love to travel, I guess we don’t really have the money anymore.”

I smiled sadly. “That’s a shame.”

“Yeah.” Corinne mumbled. “Anyway, let’s change topic.”

I nodded. “What do you wanna talk about?”

“I don’t mind.” She shrugged. “Something light.”

“Do you work?”

She nodded. “Accountant. Nothing fancy.”

“I don’t know. That seems interesting. Do you enjoy it?”

“A little. I mean, it’s long hours, and my boss has a heart made of ice, but I guess the work isn’t all that bad.”

“Well that’s good, I suppose.”

She nodded. “What about you?”

“I don’t have a job at the moment. I’ll probably try and find one with hours while the girls are at school, I don’t know.”

“What kind of career?”

“I’d probably take anything at the moment.”

“Fair enough.”

I nodded. “Brendon’s career brings in a lot of money, it’s just unreliable.”

“I can imagine. Does he enjoy it though?”

“Yeah, he does.” I smiled.

“Oh, that’s good.” Corinne smiled. 

“Yeah, it’s great.”

“H-Hey Mom?” Kaitlyn whispered.

“What’s up bub?”

“I, um, I d-don’t feel so g-good.”

“Are you gonna be sick?”

“M-Maybe?”

“Where’s the bathroom Corinne?”

“First door on the left.” She said unsurely. “Will you be okay?”

Kaitlyn nodded and raced into the bathroom.

“I hope she’s not doing it to herself again.” I mumbled.

When I went into the bathroom, she was curled up against the wall, crying.

“Kaitlyn, bub, what’s wrong?”

“I-It hurts.”

“What does?”

“M-My tummy.” She whimpered.

“Okay, come sit out here and I’ll get you some water.”

She nodded and sat on one of the lounge chairs, gripping her stomach.

“Everything okay little worm?” Brendon asked.

“I-I don’t know.” She sniffled.

Corinne gave her some water and she snuggled up to Brendon on the lounge.

He wrapped an arm around her. “Feeling better?”

“A l-little?”

“That’s good.”

“Hey Corinne, where are the photo albums?” Tom asked.

“Bedside table.” She answered.

“Thanks sweetie.” He smiled, grabbing his cane to pull himself to his feet.

“No problem.” She beamed.

He found the albums and put them on the coffee table. “You guys wanna see Nic’s embarrassing baby pictures?”

“Sure.” I giggled.

Nicole was blushing as we went through them, each one seemingly worse than the last.

“See, this one’s so cute!” Tom beamed.

“With the ice cream cake all over my face?” Nicole shuddered. “I’m far too old in that photo to do that.”

“Never too old.” Tom chuckled.

“I like this one.” Kaitlyn giggled, pointing to Nicole in the princess dress up.

Nicole’s face shrivelled up and she shook her head. “No thanks.”

We went through the entire album, right up until the photos when she was about 10. There was even a teeny photo of Jax as a baby.

“These are adorable.” I sniffled slightly.

Nicole closed the book. “T-Too much.”

I nodded slightly.

“That’s okayyyyyyy…” Tom blinked a few times, and looked around. “Um… Corinne, where am I?”

“At home.” She sighed.

“This isn’t… this isn’t home?”

“Yes it is Tom.”

“I, I don’t know this place…”

She sighed. “I’ll get the scrapbook.”

He still seemed confused and his eyes were darting around.

“Dad?” Nicole whispered.

“W-What? W-Who are a-all these people Corrine? A-Are we hostages!?”

“I, um, I think we should go.” I murmured. “Thanks for having us, we had a good time.”

“D-Don’t leave, y-you’re gonna get hurt!” He panicked.

Corinne sighed. “Thanks for coming guys. Sorry it ended like this.”

“I-If you see N-Nikki….” He stammered. “T-Tell her I l-love her, l-lots. Please?!”

Nicole looked horribly sad. “I w-will, I promise.”

“Th-thank you…” He whispered.

I quickly ushered the kids out the door, giving Corinne an apologetic look.

We all got into the car and Nicole was sobbing in the back.

“What’s wrong bub?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“H-He doesn’t remember!”

“I know.” I sighed. “Neither do you sometimes.”

“B-But he doesn’t remember  _ me _ !”

“Yes he does. He might not remember 15-year-old you, but he’d never forget you, you. He loves you Nic.”

“I-It’s so hard.”

“I know.” I sighed.

She just curled up silently in the backseat.

We got home and both the girls went straight to bed.

I sighed and slumped into the couch.

“We should’ve just had pizza.” Brendon murmured.

I nodded. “We should’ve.”

Nicole frowned. “It was good except for the end. I had a good time.”

“Well that's good, at least.”

She nodded. “Coffee?”

“Sure.”

Nicole nodded and went to the kitchen. 

“I hate when things go wrong.”

“Me too.”

“Oh well.” I sighed.

Nicole brought the drinks out and sighed.

“What’s up Nic?”

“Being over there is great, but it’s like I’m looking at my future. And it doesn’t look bright.”

“You shouldn’t be thinking about that stuff Nic. You have to worry about right now.”

“How long until I need a cane?” She asked. “What about how long until I need to move into an old peoples home so they can look after me?”

“Ages Nicole, ages.”

“I d-don’t know…” She mumbled.

I sighed. “Just, be happy with what you’ve got right now.”

She sighed and left the room, taking her drink with her.

“I suck at this Bren.”

“We all suck at this.” He muttered. “What can you even say to that?”

“I don’t know.” I murmured, taking a sip of my drink.

“Exactly.”

“She just makes me feel bad.”

“She’s just going through a lot Sarah. Go talk to her, see what she says.”

“I just tried Bren.”

“If at first you don’t succeed.”

“Trying again won’t help.”

Brendon shrugged. “I’ll go then.”

“Fine.” I sighed.

He got up and headed to Nicole’s room.

I just went to see what Kaitlyn was doing.

“Does Ryan have a blonde streak in his hair?” She asked, not looking up from her drawing.

“Uh...I’m not sure.” 

“I thought he did, but he doesn’t in any of these pictures.”

“I don’t pay much attention.”

“You learn to when you want to draw them later.”

“I guess so.” 

She nodded and closed the book. “What are you up to?”

“Not much. There was a bit of a Nicole situation, so I’m just trying to unwind.”

“Oh, okay. Cool.”

“How have you been?”

“Pretty good.” She shrugged. “I’m still stressed about my test tomorrow though.”

“You’ll do great, I promise.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely.”

She smiled slightly. “Thanks Mom.”

“No problem bub.” I smiled.

She yawned. “I might head to bed.”

“Okay, sleep tight.”

She smiled at me before I left.

I met up with Brendon in the lounge.

“She’s gone to sleep.” He said.

“Kaitlyn too.”

“Well that’s good, I suppose.”

I nodded. “What do you want to do now?”

“Just relax?”

I nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

We just snuggled up on the couch, and ended up putting on a movie.

“I love you Sarah.” Brendon whispered.

“I love you too Bren.”

We accidentally stayed up way into the early hours of the morning, only realising it was so when Nicole emerged for her morning run.

“Oh, what are you doing up?” Brendon asked her.

“It’s 5. Time for running. Are you coming Dad?”

“Maybe not today.” He murmured.

“Alright. Bye guys.”

“Bye, stay safe.” I said.

She nodded and left out the front door.

“Are you tired?” He asked me.

I nodded. “Someone has to drive Kaitlyn to school though. She’s got that big exam today.”

“I will, you go to bed.”

I smiled. “You’re the best.”

He chuckled. “Sleep well Sarah.”

“I will.”

He gave me a quick kiss, before heading to the bathroom for a shower.


	38. Chapter 37 - Confrontation

******Kaitlyn’s Point Of View*******

I sat in the office, on one of the chairs as I waited nervously for directions of where to go.

“This is exciting. You know the content?” Byron asked, flipping through his study notes.

“I hope so….”

“Want me to test you?”

“N-No, I’d just get m-more nervous….”

“That’s okay. I hope the bus gets here soon.”

I nodded unsurely.

He smiled. “You look nice today.”

“Oh, thanks.” I blushed. It made me feel a lot better, and a bit less nervous.

“Alrighty kids, the bus is here.” Our teacher smiled. “Let’s go!”

We got up, and headed to the bus. Byron insisted on sitting at the back of the bus.

“A-Are you sure?” I whispered.

“Of course, come on!”

I nervously sat down beside him.

A lot of people were excited and bouncing around, and the busy was bouncing slightly. The nerves got worse and I started feeling sick.

“You okay Kaitlyn the awesome sketcher?” He asked.

“N-Nerves…” I managed to stammer.

“Oh. It’ll be fine. Don’t worry, this doesn’t even count to any grades. It’s just something extra.”

“Don’t tell me to not worry!” I cried.

“Sorry, sorry.” He apologised.

I just took a deep breath in and tried to look out the window to calm myself down.

We arrived at some rather fancy college, and the teacher led us through to a room where there were hundreds of kids from all different schools. They were handing out goodie bags and numbers for the exam room.

I just followed Byron around, not wanting to make a fool of myself.

“This place is pretty cool.” He smiled.

“I-I guess so…”

“I can’t wait till we get to college.” He smiled. “No more high school.”

“M-Maybe?”

He nodded. “How are you going with your art assignment?”

“I-I….I don’t know?”

“That’s alright. We still have 3 weeks. I did this cool thing about sand and memories. It’s looking pretty good.”

I nodded unsurely.

A man got up and instructed us to go in and find our desks for the exam. Byron wished me luck, and we went our separate ways.

I started freaking out as I sat down. However, I remembered Mom had made me take my emergency medication with me today, so I quickly downed two pills and tried to concentrate on what I had learnt.

“We’ll be starting soon, we’re just waiting for a few more students.”

I tapped my pencil on the desk to get rid of some nervous energy.

The teacher sighed and checked the time before handing out the exams.

The exam booklet was thick, and we only had two hours. I was praying I would do well, but there were no guarantees. 

“I’ll warn you when it’s halfway, then when you have 10 minutes, five minutes then done. You may begin.”

I flicked the booklet open and immediately started working. It was actually easier than I thought, and by the time he said halfway, I was 2 thirds of the way through.

He walked around the classroom, and was making sure no one was cheating.

When I was done, I checked through my answers until time was up. My book was collected, and all the students were sent to a big dining hall for lunch.

“K-Kaitlyn?! Oh m-my god it’s you!”

“W-What?” I spun around.

Florence grinned and wrapped me in a hug. “I’ve missed you!”

“I missed you too.” I smiled.

“How did you find the test?” She asked as we walked to the exam room.

“Slightly terrifying.”

She giggled. “Me too.”

“I hope I went okay…”

“Of course you will! You’re like, a genius!”

“I-I don’t know. I think I went okay?”

“I bet you got 100% or something.” She giggled. “Let’s go get some food.”

I nodded and we headed up to get some.

“Hey Kaitlyn.” Byron smiled. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Florence.” I smiled.

Florence gave a shy wave.

“And Florence, this is Byron.”

“H-Hi…” She whispered.

“Let’s find somewhere to sit.”

We sat down at one of the tables.

Florence was pretty quiet and just smiled and giggled slightly for the most part.

“What did you get for question 42?” Byron asked. “I was sure it was carbon monoxide, but I wasn’t sure.”

“I-I guessed…” Florence whispered.

“I got that too.” I nodded.

He smiled. “Well that’s good. 

Lunch was served to us, and it was rather fancy too.

“This is better than I expected.” Byron grinned.

I nodded. “It really is.”

We ate the food, and Florence seemed a bit more quiet after she finished.

“Everything okay Flo?” I asked.

She nodded unsurely.

“Are you sure?” I reached for her hand, but she pulled away.

“I-I’ll be f-fine…”

“Want to go to the bathrooms for a few minutes?”

She shook her head. “I don’t wanna throw up.”

“Just into the hall then?”

She nodded and stood up.

We went out into the hall and Florence sat on the ground with her back to the wall, just taking a few deep breaths.

“Is it better here?”

She nodded. “T-Thanks.”

“It’s fine. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“T-They said it would j-just be t-ten kids…” She whispered. “I c-could deal with 10. N-Not h-hundreds!”

“It’s alright, we’ll just sit out here for awhile.”

“W-Would it b-be bad if I g-got Mom t-to come and g-get me?”

“No, no, of course not.”

“I d-don’t wanna be r-rude…”

“If you’re struggling, there’s nothing to say you can’t leave. It’ll be fine.”

“S-Should I c-check with m-my teacher?”

“If you’re worried about it, yeah.”

“W-Will you c-come?”

“Of course.”

She smiled slightly. “Y-You’re the best.”

“Anything for you Flo.”

She giggled slightly and stood up. “L-Let’s go.”

We went to see her teacher, and she was getting nervous again.

“Oh, hey Florence.” She smiled. “How do you think you went?”

“I-I had to guess m-most of it….” She sniffled.

“That’s okay.” The teacher assured. “What’s up?”

“I-I n-need to go home.”

“Oh, of course. Can you call your parents to come and get you?”

She nodded and got her phone out.

We waited around for her parents for about 20 minutes until they arrived. Florence gave me a hug, and apologised for having to leave.

“See you soon, hopefully.” I said.

She nodded and passed me a piece of paper. “H-Here’s my phone number.”

“Thanks.” I smiled.

She smiled at me and got into her car.

I went back and found Byron sitting around.

“Hey.” I smiled, sitting down next to him.

“Hey. Where's your friend?”

“She went home.” I shrugged.

“Oh, okay.”

I nodded. “Do you know how this exam is graded?”

He shook his head. “No clue.”

“That sucks.”

“You'd have to ask a teacher.”

“I might. I don’t know.”

“I don't care much to be honest.”

“Why not?”

“I did this so I wouldn't have to deal with the drama as much. It was mainly to get out.”

“Get out of what?” I asked.

“High school drama. The less you're there, the less you have to deal with it.”

“Oh. What kind of drama?”

“Relationship drama.”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Then why the drama?”

“Because a lot of girls want me as their boyfriend.”

“That sucks.” I mumbled.

He nodded glumly.

“Why don’t you just tell them you’re not interested?”

“I don’t know. It makes me feel bad.”

“Just say it politely? Like, I’m sorry, you’re a great girl, but I don’t like you like that?”

“I’ll try…”

I smiled. “Cool.”

“Rejecting people is so hard. Have you ever had to do it?”

“Well nobody likes me, so no.”

“I like you.”

I glanced up at him.

“I like you a lot.”

“S-Seriously?” I squeaked.

He beamed. “Yep.”

“O-Oh… o-okay.”

“I might love you, even.”

“O-Okay.” I whispered, not sure what to do in this situation.

“D-Do you not feel the same?”

“I l-like you too…” I mumbled. “I-I’ve just n-never been in t-this situation before s-so I d-don’t know w-what to s-say.”

“Well, just take some time to think about it.”

“O-Okay…”

He smiled and just acted like nothing happened.

Our teacher came over and informed us that it was time to go back to school, so we grabbed our things and headed out to the bus.

“Well half the day is already gone. I’m just gonna walk home once we get back.” Byron shrugged.

“I h-have to wait for m-my sister, so I’ll just w-wait out the rest of the day.”

He nodded. “Okay then.”

I nodded and looked out the window.

“You look very pretty today.” He smiled.

I blushed. “T-Thanks…”

“No problem.”

We got back to school and I immediately went in search of Nicole for advice.

I didn’t find her until Maths.

“Hey! How’d the exam go?” She asked.

“I think it went alright?”

“That’s awesome!” She grinned. “Worth all the stress?”

“It was pretty easy. I won’t freak out as much next time.”

She smiled. “That’s good. Ready for maths?”

I nodded. “Yep.”

“Cool.” We sat down at the side of the classroom.

“Hello everyone! So today lucky for you, we’ve got a pop quiz.”

Everyone groaned.

“It’s not that bad!”

“Yes it is.” Nicole mumbled.

She handed out all the quizzes.

“Miss, I, um, I, I,” Nicole stammered nervously.

“What’s wrong?” She asked quietly.

“My hands are twitching and I don’t know if I can like, do this…”

“Oh, okay.” She said, picking the paper up.

Nicole looked down at her lap.

“It’s okay Nic.” I assured.

“I guess.” She mumbled, before slamming her hand on the table in an effort to get it to stop.

“Any luck?”

“Nope.”

I frowned. “That sucks.” 

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” She muttered, grabbing her bag and standing up.

I fell quiet and quickly finished the quiz while she was gone.

When Nicole came back, the teacher collected the quizzes and started the lesson. I was taking notes for the two of us, so I made an effort to ensure they were super neat.

She just sat beside me and looked over the notes I was taking.

“A-Are they neat enough?” I asked uncertainly.

She nodded. “Neater than what I’d have done.”

“Okay. Good.” I breathed.

She smiled and kept watching.

When the lesson was done, I photocopied the notes and passed them to Nicole, who smiled.

“You’re the best Kaitlyn.”

I blushed. “No problems Nic.”

She beamed and stuck by my side for the day

When the bell rang to go home, the two of us raced out to Dad’s car.

“I won!” She grinned.

I rolled my eyes. “You run all the time. You get a natural advantage.”

“You should run with me!”

I shuddered. “No thanks.”

“Please? I can show you some awesome places.”

“Maybe sometime next week. I have some sleep I need to catch up on.”

She frowned. “Okay.”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” She mumbled.

“How was your day girls?” Dad asked.

“It was good.” I smiled.

“Awesome. How’d your big exam go?”

“Godd.” I smiled. “It was pretty easy.”

“That’s awesome. How about you Nic? How was you day?”

“It was alright, but can I visit Blaze this afternoon?”

“Uh… I’ll have to check with your mother.”

“Okay.” She murmured.

“Why?”

“I just miss her.”

“Fair enough.”

The rest of the drive was pretty quiet. I just sat and reassessed all the questions from the test to find out if I got any wrong.

We got home and Nicole ran straight to Mom to ask if she could go out.

“Brendon, can you drop Nicole off?” Sarah asked.

Dad shrugged. “As long as I have an address to take her.”

Nicole shoved her phone in my face. “I’ve got it!”

“Alrighty. Let’s go then.”

*******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

I sat down and Nicole sat in the passenger seat. “Do you have a map?” I asked her.

She presented google maps towards me on her phone. “Yep.”

“Alright, lead me.”

It was about a 10 minute drive, and the house was reasonably nice. Nicole skipped up to the door, and I followed her to make sure she was safe.

“You seem excited.” I observed as she knocked on the door.

“I’m very excited.” She clarified.

I smiled. “That’s good.”

We waited for a moment for someone to answer the door.

“B-Brendon?”

“H-Hi….” I stammered nervously.

Dr Jo stood there silently, not knowing what to do. I realised this was the first time I’d seen her in casual clothes.

“I, uh….I just came to drop off Nicole?” I managed to say.

Blaze wormed around Dr Jo and smiled. “Hey Nic!”

“Hey Blaze!” Nicole wrapped her in a hug.

“S-So you’re Blaze’s Mom…” I stammered.

“Y-yeah….” 

Blaze and Nicole left, leaving just the two of us.

Dr Jo was still incredibly awkward.

“So… our daughters are dating…”

“Yeah…”

“Is this going to be weird?”

“It already is.”

“Right.” She murmured. “Do you want to come in?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Dr Jo made me some coffee and we sat in the living room in awkward silence. 

“Maybe we should just try and make this less awkward?” I suggested.

“How?” She asked. 

“I don’t know.” I mumbled.

“Hmm…” She sighed. “At least the girls are happy?”

I smiled and nodded.

“So how was Japan?”

“It was really good, thanks for asking.” I smiled.

“That's great.” She smiled. “How's the family?”

“It’s all going pretty well, actually.”

“That's wonderful.”

I nodded. “How was your break from me?”

“Pretty quiet, actually. I missed you.”

I chuckled. “I could say the same about you.”

She smiled slightly. 

“It doesn’t feel right when I don’t get to see you.” I said.

“Me neither Brendon. At least you're back now.”

I nodded and smiled.

“Hey Mom!” Blaze called. “Can we eat the cheesecake?”

“Don’t have it all!” She responded.

Blaze giggled and led Nicole to the kitchen. 

I smiled. “I’m so glad everything’s going well with them.”

Dr Jo nodded. “I honestly haven't seen Blaze this happy to be at my place since the divorce.”

“I’m glad everything got sorted with that.”

She blushed. “Sorry you had to experience that.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m glad I could help.”

“Are you sure we can't eat it all?” Blaze asked. “It's a  _ really  _ small cheesecake.”

“Yes, but it’s also  _ really _ unhealthy. So only a small bit.”

“I'll make you another one?”

“Blaze, a small bit or not at all.”

She frowned and cut it into four slices, giving one to each of us. 

“Oh, thank you.” I smiled.

She grinned. “No problems Mr Urie.”

“Please, call me Brendon.” I said. 

“Are you the Brendon Mom always talks about?”

“Yes.” I answered plainly. 

She giggled. “Cute.”

“That's  _ enough.” _ Dr Jo instructed. “You two go watch something in the media room.”

Blaze rolled her eyes and led Nicole away.

“Teenagers, am I right?”

“They can be a bit of a handful.”

“Mmmmm.” She nodded, taking a sip of her drink. “Especially when they eat all your cheesecake.”

“Oh well.” I shrugged.

She nodded. “How's Kaitlyn going?”

“Oh, really good actually.”

“That's lovely to hear.”

“Yeah, things are starting to look up now.”

“That's wonderful Brendon.” She smiled. “So what have you been up to?”

“Not a lot, I’m releasing an album tomorrow.”

“Wow! Awesome!” She grinned. 

I nodded. “It’s very exciting. Hopefully it goes well.”

“I'll get a copy.” She smiled. 

I chuckled. “Okay then.”

“And how's Nicole going?”

“Okay, I suppose. She has a few sort of sad moments, but it’s not too bad.”

“That's good, I guess. Nothing too bad?”

“No, not really. We usually just talk through it.

“That's the best thing to do.” She affirmed. 

I smiled. “Well at least I’m doing something right.”

“Hey Mom! We can't get the DVD player to work!” Blaze called. 

She sighed and went to solve the issue.

I walked through the house and looked at the photos lining the walls. It painted the perfect portrait of a happy family, despite the fact that it was far from the truth. 

“Seen anything interesting?” I heard her ask from behind me.

“Not really.” I murmured. “Just family photos.”

“That’s a shame. I quite like looking at all the old photos.”

“That's cool, I guess. I think it's different based on who's in them and how you know them.”

She nodded. “I suppose this is still awkward.”

“Yeah…”

“That sucks.” She murmured.

“Maybe I should head home. Thanks for the coffee.”

“No problem.” She smiled. “Have a safe trip.”

“Thanks.” I nodded, heading out to the car. 

I had a uneventful drive, and the awkwardness was still prominent when I got home.

“Hey Bren!” Sarah smiled. 

“Hey.” I smiled slightly.

“You were gone for a while.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“What happened?”

“Just talking to Blaze’s Mom.”

“Ah yes. Is she nice?”

I nodded. “Very nice.”

“That's good.”

“Yeah, you’ll have to meet her.” I chuckled slightly.

“Why are you laughing?”

“It was just a bit awkward.”

“Why?”

“Dr Jo was Blaze’s Mom.” I murmured, barely understandable.

Sarah blinked. “Seriously?!”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Small world.”

I chuckled and nodded. “Yep.”

“Want a drink?”

“Yes please.” I smiled.

Sarah poured me a soda and passed it along the kitchen bench. 

“You’re the best.” I beamed.

She smiled. “Maybe.”

“Nope. 100%”

She just blushed. 

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Wanna snuggle with me on the couch?”

She giggled. “Yep.”

We snuggled up on the couch and watched movies again.

“What's Kaitlyn doing?” I asked. 

“I don’t know. I’ll go see.”

We walked into her room and she frowned at us. “You scared June off!”

“Oh, sorry bub.” She apologised.

Kaitlyn sighed. “What are you two doing?”

“We came to see what you’re doing.”

“Just drawing and hanging out with June. The usual.”

“Oh, okay.”

She nodded awkwardly. 

“We’ll leave if you want.”

“No, it's okay.” She shrugged.

“Do you want to watch movies with us?”

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

I smiled and we all snuggled up.

*******Nicole’s Point Of View******

“The cheesecake was a very good idea.”

“It was indeed.”

“You;re the best.” I giggled.

“If you say so.” She blushed.

Our movie had finished so we were just relaxing in Blaze’s room to the tune of some heavy metal CD.

“I’m surprised your Mom hasn’t told you to turn it down yet.”

“Her room’s at the other end of the house.” She shrugged. “She doesn’t really care.”

“I see.”

“It’s pretty awesome because it means I can play whatever I want.” She giggled, flopping back onto the bed next to me.

“And your Mom just doesn’t care what you listen to?”

“As long as it’s not about sex, it’s fine. Well actually, no, songs about sex are fine, but songs  _ describing  _ sex are not. She honestly just doesn’t care.”

“Well that’s cool.”

She nodded. “Want some of my secret chocolate stash?”

“Of course!”

She giggled and threw me a chocolate bar.

“Thank you.”

“No problems beautiful. What have you been up to?”

“Not a lot. Mostly missing you.”

She blushed. “You’re sweet. But seriously, what have you been doing?”

“I went to school, which sucked, but whatever.”

“Oh, yeah. Me too. Mom put me in this ridiculous school that’s so up-itself. It’s ridiculous.”

“She probably just wants the best for you.”

“Yeah, I know. She thinks I’m going to take after her academically and be a genius. I honestly just want to be an artist when I get older, but there’s no way she’s ever going to let me do that.”

“Just ask.”

“I have.”

“You realise I’m going to go and talk to her now?”

Blaze groaned. “Don’t bother. Just chill with me. Please? I haven’t seen you in forever!”

“This is important though!”

She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Not as important as spending time with you.”

I blushed. “Aww.”

“What do you want to do beautiful?” She asked. 

“Just talk.”

“Sounds good to me.” She smiled. “Tell me about your adventures.”

“What adventures do you want to know about?”

“All of them.”

“Well that doesn’t help!” I giggled.

She laughed. “School. Tell me about your adventures at school.”

“Well, I helped the hospitality kids for their graduation dinner preparations. The cooking part was fun, but the cleaning was a pain.”

“That’s pretty cool.” She smiled.

“Yeah, it was was.”

“What else have you been doing?”

“Not a lot. A bunch of assignments.”

“That sucks.” She murmured.

“It does.”

“What’s been going on at home?” She asked.

“Just relaxing.”

“That’s cool.” She nodded.

“Yeah. What about you?”

“I got suspended. Mom’s not happy with me.”

“How’d you do that?”

“Some guy was being a homophobic ass so I punched him in the face?”

“Oh, I see.”

She nodded. “He learnt his lesson.”

“That’s good.”

She grinned. “Yep. And everyone else has too. See, once everyone knows you’re not afraid to throw a punch, nobody messes with you.”

I giggled. “That’s generally how it goes.”

She nodded. “Yep. It’s pretty awesome. I just can’t do it again or I’ll be expelled...”

“Eh, who cares?”

She giggled. “You’re the best.”

“No, you are!”

“You are.” She kissed me so I couldn’t answer back.

I wrapped my arms around her to pull her closer.

She giggled slightly, but didn’t stop.

We were caught up like that for awhile, and once we were done, we laid back on her bed.

“You’re an awesome kisser.” Blaze smiled.

I felt my face go red. “So are you.”

She giggled. “Love you.”

“I love you too.”

We talked for a while, until Blaze’s Mom knocked on the door and told me that Mom was here to pick me up.

I frowned. “I’ll miss you Blaze.”

She hugged me. “I’ll miss you too.”

“Bye.” 

“Bye beautiful. Call me.”

“I will. Stay safe.”

“You too.”

I went out of the room and met up with Mom.

“Hey Bub.” She smiled. “Have fun?”

I smiled and nodded. “Yep.”

“Awesome. Ready to head home?”

“Yeah, all ready.”

We drove home and I sat with Dad on the couch to play some Xbox.

“I missed you.” He said, ruffling my hair.

I giggled. “Missed you too.”

“Now I’m gonna beat you.”

I rolled my eyes. “You wish.”

“Nope. My awesome controller is gonna help me win. Luckily I didn’t wait till my birthday.”

I chuckled. “I have natural skill on my side.”

“Oh, sure.” 

I beat him by miles in the first race, much to his dislike.

“You cheated!”

“No I didn’t.” I giggled.

“Sarah! Nicole’s a cheater!”

“You’re a sore loser babe.” She giggled.

“No I’m not!” He pouted.

She just rolled her eyes. “Have a rematch then.”

“Fine.” He murmured.

We started the rematch, and halfway through, my hand started twitching, and I couldn’t even get my car to go in a straight line.

“Are you alright?” He looked over at me.

I sighed. “Fine, fine.”

“Are you sure?”

I put the remote down. “Fine.”

He paused the game and started looking really concerned.

I groaned. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“I know, but I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine.” I answered, shoving my hands in my hoodie pockets.

He frowned. “If you say so.”

“I might go sit in my room for a bit.” I murmured.

“Okay…”

I quickly left the room so they wouldn’t see me get upset. 

I tried hitting my hand on the bed frame and it didn’t work, but pain surged through my wrist.

“Argh! Seriously!?” I snapped. 

I rubbed it for a bit and it just got worse.

Sarah knocked on my door. “Everything okay bub?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Just checking. You seemed a bit upset.”

“I-I’m fine.”

“Okay. You sure?”

I nodded unsurely. “I guess. Do you have any painkillers?”

“Why?”

“I, uh….I hit my wrist pretty hard.”

She walked over and inspected it. I winced and tried my best not to cry.

“This doesn’t look very good Nic.”

“I-It’ll be fine.”

“No, no, come out here.”

“I j-just need some aspirin.”

“Nicole, come out with me.”

I sighed and followed her out.

Dad was sitting in the kitchen and looked as we walked in. “What’s up? 

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

He looked to Sarah.

She sighed. “Got a bit of an injury. Can you take a look at this?”

He grabbed my wrist and I let out a cry of pain.

“I’m sorry Nic.” He flustered.

“It’s fine.” I mumbled.

He looked at my wrist. “You’ve definitely done something to it. Should we get it checked out?”

“Nope. I just need some aspirin and I’ll be fine.”

“Nicole it’s swelling up like crazy.”

“It’s fine.” I muttered, shoving it into my pocket and ignoring the pain it caused me.

“No, come on. Let’s go to the doctor.”

I shook my head. “It’s not that bad.”

“I don’t care. We’re going.”

I groaned and followed him out to the car.

We drove to the doctors in silence.

The doctor took one look at my wrist and sent me for an x-ray.

“We shouldn’t have come here.” I sighed.

“Yes, we should have.” Dad stated, looking at my swollen wrist. 

“Whatever.”

The x-rays showed that I had indeed broken my wrist, and I was given a cast in a lime green colour.

“Stupid twitches.” I muttered.

“No more smacking your hand Nic.” Mom told me sternly.

“This is the only time it’s hurt me.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

“Watch your attitude.” Dad warned.

“You’re the one who brought me here for no reason!”

“You broke your wrist!”

“It would’ve been fine!”

Dad gave up and rolled his eyes.

“And you think  _ I _ have an attitude.”

“Enough.” Mom sighed. “Let’s go home.”

We went home and I immediately went to my room, feeling fed up.

Kaitlyn was sitting on my bed, with her sketchbook in her lap.

“Why are you in my room?!”

“I-I was d-drawing y-your lamp?” She whispered.

“Just get out!”

She ran out of my room without another word.

I sighed and flopped onto my bed, before screaming into my pillow to get some of the frustration out.

Mom rushed to the door. “Everything okay?”

“It’s fine.” I groaned.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Sarah, I’m fine.”

“You’re acting weird.”

“I’m annoyed.”

“Why?”

“Just, stuff.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“I guess.” I mumbled.

She sat down on the end of my bed. “What’s wrong?”

“School.” I muttered.

“What about school?”

“I’ve totally flunked every one of my tests.”

“How?”

“By not getting anything right?”

“Why did you not get anything right?”

“Cause I didn’t study.”

“Well, there’s your problem.”

“I just, I don’t get it, so I can’t study. I don’t know.” I sighed.

“Do you think the classes are too hard?”

“Maybe….” I mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

“You can change them if you want.” She offered. “You could take up home ec, I mean, you love to cook.”

“I could, but talking to the principal about that stuff is scary. Talking to the principal in general is scary.”

“I can send him an email.” Mom offered. “Look, what are you taking at the moment?”

“All the computer classes?”

“Maybe switch them around for some easier subjects. Those are pretty hard.”

I nodded. “I just don’t know what subjects.”

She disappeared and returned with a book, and I recognised the school logo on the front. “Here’s the list. So maybe instead of advanced coding, you could go to junior coding? And maybe drop engineering, and take Home Ec or maybe woodshop?”

“I don’t know!”

“Don’t panic, just, take some time to think about it, hey? Look over this, and take your time.”

“P-please, I need you to help me.”

“You want me to choose for you?”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Alright. What about… Junior coding, woodshop, art, home ec, english, maths A and then study hall?”

I nodded glumly. It made me feel really stupid.

“That should make life a lot easier.” She smiled at me.

“Yeah, maybe.” I mumbled.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just feel stupid.”

“Oh, no, no, don’t feel stupid. I had to do the same thing.”

“But Kaitlyn’s so smart! I look like an idiot compared to her!”

“Everyone looks like an idiot compared to Kaitlyn.” Mom mumbled. “Look, she grew up in a place where all she could ever do in her spare time was study.”

“I had a tonne of spare time! I could’ve studied when I was making dinner, or folding or doing the washing or something!”

Mom sighed. “Nic, it’s not your fault. You have so many other talents that she doesn’t have.”

“I’m never gonna get a job! I’m not gonna even live to get a job!”

“Of course you are Nic. Don’t worry.”

“No I won’t!”

Mom sighed again. “Nicole, you’re going to get a job. Heck, you already had one. You were a full time carer for a while, then a dog walker. That’s two.”

“I guess.”

“What do you want to do when you leave school Nic?” I asked.

“I-I...I don’t know?”

“You must have some idea.”

“I don’t really….”

“Do you want to go to college?”

“Maybe?”

“What do you want to study?”

“I-I don’t know?”

“That’s okay.” She promised.

“Should I know all this?!”

“No, not really. Some do, others don’t even know what they want to do until after the day they graduate. You’ll realise in your own time.”

“What did you wanna be?”

“Me? I wanted to be an actress.”

I smiled. “That’s cool.”

She nodded. “I was on broadway once. That was pretty cool.”

“Sounds like it.”

“Yeah. Your father’s dreams came true really young, he’s lucky.”

I nodded. “I’d never be that lucky.”

“I don’t think anyone’s that lucky except for your father.”

“Oh well. He’s an awesome musician. That’s probably why he got lucky.”

Mom nodded. “Yeah.”

“Now I’m just getting jealous.”

She chuckled. “You’ll find your own way. Don’t worry. It might not be as instant as his, but it’ll happen.”

“I hope so.”

She nodded. “I’ll help if you want.”

“Thanks.” I smiled.

“Want to go back out?” She asked.

“Yeah, okay.”

We went out and sat on the couch to watch some TV.

I had found a Sharpie and started drawing on the cast.

“Cool design.” Kaitlyn murmured.

“Thanks.” I smiled.

“Saraahhhhhhh?” Brendon asked.

“What do you want?” She asked.

“Can I have a birthday party?”

“Fine old man.” She rolled her eyes. “Do you want it princess themed?”

His eyes glimmered with excitement. “Yes!”

“Okay. It’ll have to be in the afternoon though. You shouldn’t tell me these things the day before your birthday. And at night, mind you.”

He giggled. “I’m gonna go call everyone right now!”

“Okay then. Tell me who you invite though.”

“Ryan and Patrick and Gerard and all my other band friends and then also all our other friends too!”

“Okay Bren.”

He grinned and ran out to the studio.

I giggled. “He’s very childish.”

“He certainly is.” Mom laughed. “But I love him.”

“He’s the best.”

She turned to us. “Did you girls wrap his presents?”

“No, I totally forgot!” Kaitlyn flustered.

“I did.” I nodded.

Kaitlyn breathed a sigh of relief. “At least someone is organised.”

I giggled. “Yeah.”

“He’s a hard person to shop for though.” Mom sighed.

“He is indeed.” Kaitlyn agreed. “I hope he likes the painting I did though.”

“He will.” She assured. “It’s amazing.”

She blushed. “It’s not  _ that  _ great.”

“Yes it is!”

“If you say so…”

Dad came back after a while with a wide grin on his face.

“What do you look so happy about?” Sarah asked.

“Everyone said yes!”

“Okay… how are we going to cater for everyone?”

“I’ll cook!” I volunteered.

“Sorted.” Brendon smiled.

“What else?” She asked.

“I can make decorations?” Kaitlyn offered.

“That’d be awesome!” He smiled.

She nodded and went to her room to get started.

“What food do you want?” I asked.

He considered. “Lots of junk food.”

“Brought or made?”

“Bit of both.”

“Okay. What specifically?”

“Like hot dogs and burgers and all that awesome stuff. Can we get a chocolate fountain?”

Mom sighed. “If we can hire one, sure.”

He giggled and grabbed the computer. “Let’s find one for sale.”

“We’re never gonna use it after this. We should just hire one.”

“I’ll use it all the time!” He defended.

“Fine, fine. It’s your money.”

Within 10 minutes he’d bought one on craigslist and taken Kaitlyn to go pick it up.

“Could he have made this any more last minute?” Mom sighed, racing around trying to clean up.

“Probably.” I shrugged, grabbing the broom. “You know Dad.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

About halfway through the cleanup efforts, my casted hand started to twitch, and due to the fact that it was constricted and injured, it was more painful than the actual break.

“MOM!” I cried.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, racing over.

“I-It hurts s-so bad!” I cried.

“Okay, just sit down and I’ll get some Advil, okay?”

I nodded tearfully. “H-hurry!”

She got me the pills and some water and handed them to me.

I quickly downed them, but it wasn’t getting better.

“Give it a little while.”

“I-It hurts s-so bad t-though!”

“I know, I know.” She whispered, rubbing my back.

“We got the fountain!” Dad announced as he waltzed into the door. “And he gave us a popcorn machine too!”

“Really? We don’t even really use stuff like that.”

“We will now!”

“Of course we will.” She said. “And I was trying to be healthy.”

Brendon giggled. “It’ll be fine.”

I let out a cry of pain.

“It's okay Nic, it's okay.”

“What's going on?” Dad asked, sitting down beside me. 

“The t-twitches, a-and my wrist! I-It hurts!”

“Oh…” 

It kept hurting more and more, and I just sat there crying.

“What do we do Sarah?” Brendon whispered.

She shrugged. “I’ve already given her some painkillers.”

“Should we call the doctor?”

“Yeah, okay.”

She tossed him the phone, and he left the room.

“It hurts so much!” I cried.

“I know Nic.” Mom whispered. “It’ll get better, don’t worry.”

I tried holding my wrist to see if it would help, but it just made it worse.

It was about half an hour until the twitching stopped, and with it the pain.

I sniffled. “I-It’s better now.”

“Oh good.” Mom breathed.

“S-Sorry about that.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault.”

“O-Okay….”

“Do you want me to make you a drink?”

“Y-Yes please.”

Mom made me a drink and sat with me at the bench. “Feeling better?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“That’s good.” She smiled. “Want to help me make dinner?”

“Yeah, sure.”

She smiled and started setting up.

“What are we making?”

“I figured you’d want to choose.”

“How about spaghetti?”

“Sounds good to me.”

I smiled. “Awesome.”

We started cooking and Kaitlyn came out to sit with us. She started drawing me.

“How’s it going Kaitlyn?” Mom asked.

“Good.” She nodded. “I’m just in the mood where I want to try and draw everything. It’s weird.”

“That’s cool.”

She nodded and went back to trying to get my hair right.

“I think it’s ready.” I said, stirring the pot.

“Look at me?” Kaitlyn asked.

I looked at her for a moment while Mom got the dishes out.

She smiled and went back to drawing.

I served up the food and called everyone to the kitchen, mostly just Dad.

“Smells amazing girls.” He smiled.

“Hopefully it tastes good.”

He dipped his finger in the pot. “It tastes  _ amazing _ .”

“That’s good.” I smiled.

We sat down at the table, and started to eat.

“So how was your day?” I asked everyone.

“Good. I ran into Florence.” Kaitlyn smiled.

“That’s awesome!”

She nodded. “She had to go home though, but at least she gave me her number.”

“That’s good.”

Kaitlyn nodded.

“What about you Dad?”

“Not much. I just did a few phone interviews about the new album and generally just posted on social media all day.”

“That’s cool.”

He nodded. “We’re at number 3 on the charts.”

“That’s great!”

“Robert’s really happy. He’s going to make me bacon.”

I giggled. “Sounds good.”

“Yep.” He grinned.

“Does Ryan know?”

“I called him before. We’re all going out for dinner on Saturday to celebrate. Record’s paying, too.”

“Awesome.”

“Yep.”

“Will you have to go on tour again?” Sarah asked.

“I might. I don’t know if I want to though. Maybe.”

“Okay.” She frowned slightly.

“Why?”

“Oh, nothing. I’d just miss you if you went away.”

“You could come with me? Like, if we did a summer tour, we could all go!”

“I suppose so. It just gets a bit expensive.”

“Record will pay.” He winked.

She rolled her eyes. “You rely on them for everything.”

“If they say no, I don’t go.” He giggled. “I have the power.”

“Of course you do.”

He nodded. “The power to do the dishes for you lovely ladies.”

Sarah giggled. “I like that power.”

“I figured you would.”

She gave him a quick kiss. “Want some help?”

“Nope. You guys get to do the cleaning up after the party instead.”

Mom groaned. “Meanie.”

“Yep.” He laughed.

“Oh well. Wouldn't want to make you work on your birthday old man.”

He rolled his eyes. “Guess you’ll be doing  _ all  _ the housework from now on.’

“True. Wouldn’t want you to break a hip, would we?”

“No, no. Not at all.” He nodded, cleaning the dishes and stacking them in the dishwasher.

“I guess that means no more jumping around in shows or around the house either.”

“Nope.”

“Gonna be a lot of changes.” She continued. “Nah, I think I’ll still make you do housework.”

“Nope. That’s your job. I’m just an old man.” Dad laughed. He finished up and collapsed onto the lounge. 

“However else will you be a good house-husband?”

“I’ll sing.” He smiled.

“I guess I can agree to that.”

He grinned. “Awesome.”

We all snuggled up on the lounge and watched TV. Dad was still busy on social media.

“What do people think Dad?” I asked.

“All pretty good so far.” He smiled.

“That’s awesome.” I grinned.

“It is. It’s so close to being our best selling album.”

Mom pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”

He blushed. “Thanks.”

“Blue or green?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Pink!”

She giggled. “Yeah, but I need a colour to go with it.”

“Hmmm….Purple!”

She rolled her eyes and wrote it down.

“And glitter!”

“I don’t have glitter Dad.”

He frowned. “Now I’m sad.”

“I-I’m sorry…” Kaitlyn murmured, looking down at her lap.

“No, no, it’s fine little worm. Do whatever you want.”

“O-Okay…” She disappeared to her room.

Dad sighed and went back to his phone.

“Hey Mom?” I asked nervously.

“Yeah? What’s up Nic?”

“I, uh, I don’t, I don’t feel too good.”

“In what way?”

“I, I’m…. seizure?”

“Oh….okay. Let’s get in the car.”

“I… I don’t… weird…” I murmured, grabbing the couch to help me stand.

Mom helped me out to the car and did up my seatbelt.

“You okay Nic?” She asked.

I was starting to feel a bit dizzy. “Y-You gotta… you gotta bag? Like, one made of the plastic?”

She handed me a sick bag.

“Mommy, thanks.” I murmured, before emptying my stomach into it.

She looked worried, and started driving to the hospital.

I rested my head back on the seat and looked out the window. “There’s weird light brights out there.”

“Yeah, there are.”

“Mmm.” I murmured.

We got to the hospital and she hurried me in.

“There’s people lots Mom!” I noted rather loudly.

“Yeah, yeah, there are.”

“Why are we here?”

“Just to have a chat with the doctors.”

“Oh. Weird.” I murmured, taking her hand in my own.

“Yeah, but it’s alright.”

“O-Okay Mom…”

We had to sit and wait.

“Where’s Daddy?” I asked, swinging my feet back and forth.

“He’s at home. He should be here later.”

“Oh, okay. Ice cream cake?”

“Later Nic.”

“Ice cream cake is favourite.” I mumbled. “You have a favourite?”

“Not really.”

“Okey.” I mumbled. “Can I go for a run Mom?”

“After this, okay?”

“Okey.” I murmured. 

“Nicole Urie?” The doctor called, before racing us in.

Mom talked to the doctor for a while, before I discovered that I was wearing glasses, and I inspected them curiously to pass the time.

“Glasses are weird.” I mumbled.

The doctor turned to me. “Alright Nicole, we’re going to run some tests, okay?”

I shook my head. “No tests for Nikki. Nope.”

“It’ll be fine.” They assured.

“Uh uh. Nope.” I responded. 

“You won’t feel it.” They tried to say.

“Nope. Me and my weird glass thingies are leaving now.” I made one of the arms wave at the doctor. “Bye bye.”

“No, stay here. We’ll start now.” 

I was sat down on the bench and they said they were going to do a spinal tap, which didn’t seem fun.

Mom took my hands, put my glasses back on my eyes, and told me to count to 50.

“Why would I count?”

“Because it’ll distract you.” She told me. “I’m going to count too, you just keep up.”

“I don’t need to be distracted.”

Mom bent down and sighed. “Ready? Let’s go. 1, 2, 3, 4…”

I shook my head and just waited for them to do whatever they were going to do.

“5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10…” Mom counted as I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my lower back.

I just screamed. Her distracting wasn’t working.

“Shh. That’s it Nikki. That’s it. You’re doing so well.” She desperately tried to comfort.

I kept screaming and crying.

“All done. All done.” The doctor told me, putting a band-aid over the little hole he made.

I was still crying. It felt like it was burning. 

Mom pulled me into a hug as the doctor put a label on the sample and put it in a tray. “Okay, good girl. Thank you Nicole.”

I held onto Mom as I kept crying, waiting for the pain to subside.

“Alright, I’m going to organise a bed for tonight.” The doctor told Mom. “She’s at large risk for a seizure, so we can’t send her home. We’ll just keep her here for observation.”

Mom nodded. “That’s okay.”

“C-Cinnamon?” I cried.

“I’ll tell Dad to bring it.”

“A-And a-also bring water.” I sniffled.

“Of course.” Mom assured.

“And t-then a-also Kaitlyn too.”

“Okay.”

“W-Why don’t pigs have w-wings?”

“I don’t know.”

“T-They’d be b-better with w-wings.”

“Yeah, probably.”

I nodded. “It’s so light bright in here Mommy.”

“I know, I know.”

“And it’s all weird and blurry.” I mumbled.

“That’s because you took your glasses off Nic.” She sighed, placing them back on my face. “Is that better?”

“Is it?” I asked her.

“You tell me. Is it clearer to see?”

“I think so?”

“Good.” She smiled.

“I’ll show you up.” The doctor sighed. “They’ve allocated you a room right at the other end at the hospital.”

“O-Okay….” I sniffled.

“Do you think you can walk Nic?” Mom asked.

“I-I don’t think so….”

She wrapped an arm around me and helped me hobble down the corridors, and up two levels before we reached a room right on the other side of the hospital.

I laid on the bed, with my back facing up because it hurt more when I laid on it.

“I’ll check in on you later.” The doctor said, leaving the room.

“I-I don’t like this.”

“I know Nic.” Mom apologised. “It’s only for tonight, okay?”

“W-What about the p-party?”

“You’ll be home for the party.” She promised.

“O-Okay….”

She nodded and sat down to text Dad.

“I-It still hurts.”

“It’ll wear off soon Nikki, don’t worry.”

“I-I hope so.”

I talked to her for a while, before I started getting frustrated because I couldn’t find the right words to say what I meant.

“Just rest up Nic.”

“But shoes Mom!”

“Shhhh. Have a nap.”

I frowned. “But…” I growled in frustration. I could picture what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t find the words.

“Shh. Just have a rest.”

“But I’m getting all dumb Mom!” I started to cry.

“No you’re not. You’re just not having a good day. It’s okay.”

I sniffled. “N-None of my days are good Mommy!”

“It’s okay Nic.”

“N-Nuh uh!” I cried. “I w-want cinnamon!”

“It’s coming Nic, I promise.”

“O-Okay…”

She sat there and tried to soothe me.

“Hey Nic!” Dad smiled.

“H-Hello….”

He placed a bag of my things next to me. “Mom called and said you wanted this.”

I dig through it and pulled out cinnamon before snuggling up.

“Just have a sleep Nic.” Mom told me.

I nodded and slowly managed to fall asleep.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Five years Brendon! Five years isn’t long!” I heard Mom panic.

“I know, I know.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“What are we going to do?!”

“I don’t know!” He panicked.

“M-Mom? D-Dad?” I whispered.

“Yes Nic?”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

I nervously shook my head. “Why are you yelling? What’s going on?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

I hesitantly nodded. 

“Sorry if we woke you.”

“T-That’s o-okay. Can I g-go home?”

“Not yet.”

“O-Okay.”

Brendon sighed and started pacing around the room.

“W-What’s wrong Dad?”

“I, uh...nothing, Nothing at all.”

“Why are you pacing?”

“I’m not!” He snapped slightly.

I curled up. “S-Sorry.”

“I’ll be back.” He sighed, leaving the room.

“W-What’s going on Mom?” I whispered.

“Just, wait for a doctor.”

I nodded and pulled cinnamon into my arms.

After a while, Dad and a doctor came in.

“W-What’s going on?” I whispered.

The doctor sighed. “That’s what I’m here to talk about.”

“I-Is it bad?” I whimpered.

“At the moment, yes.” He acknowledged uncertainty.

Mom put her hands on my ears. “Don’t tell her everything. Just what she needs to know.”

“I wanna know!” 

“Basically Nicole, the disease is progressing at a much faster rate than we anticipated. There’s not really anything we can do, other than give you medications and treatments to help with the symptoms.”

“W-What else?”

“That’s it. We just need to wait and see. Also, you had a seizure last night.”

“W-What aren’t you telling me?”

“You already told her too much.” Mom frowned.

“No, please! Just tell me! I’m gonna find out eventually!”

He sighed. “We’re just worried about your speech, okay? It’s probably not going to be long before it goes.”

“W-What else?”

“Your co-ordination is suffering too. Basically, it’s not looking good right now.”

“A-Anything else?”

“You  _ had  _ to tell her everything.” Mom muttered.

“A-Am I gonna die soon?!”

“No.” The doctor sighed. 

“When am I gonna die?!”

“We don’t know.” He answered honestly. “Huntington’s affects each person differently, so we have no idea. It could be soon, it could be 20 years away. We just don’t know.”

I burst into tears.

Mom pulled me into a hug. “You can go now, Doc.”

He nodded and left.

“I d-don’t w-wanna die Mom!” I cried.

“I know, I know.” She sighed.

I just kept crying.

“I got hot dogs!” Kaitlyn smiled from the door.

I kept crying and clutched onto Mom’s shirt.

“Shh. It’ll be okay Nikki. It’ll be okay.” She comforted, rubbing circles in my back.

“I-I’m so scared!”

“Don’t be scared. You’re going to be okay. I promise.”

“I’m gonna die!”

“We’re all gonna die.” Kaitlyn shrugged.

“I’m gonna die when I’m still a teenager!”

“No, no, no you’re not.” Mom assured.

“Yes I will!”

“No, you won’t Nikki.” Dad promised.

I just curled up there and cried.

“It’s okay Nic.” Mom soothed.

“It doesn't feel okay.”

“I know. You just have to have hope, okay?”

“O-okay…”

“That’s my girl.” She smiled, running a hand through my hair.

I snuggled up to her and sniffled.

“Should I cancel the party?” Dad asked.

No, you should have some fun and celebrate.” Mom answered.

“But… this.”

“It'll be fine Bren.”

“You sure?”

“Of course.”

He nodded and put his phone away.

“I j-just wanna g-go home.” I sniffled.

“I know Nic, I know.”

******* Sarah’s Point of View *******

Nicole’s doctor came to the door. “Mr and Mrs Urie, can I talk with you?”

“Sure.” I nodded, gently peeling Nicole off me and following Brendon out of the room.

Brendon took my hand and was squeezing it. I don’t know whether it was to comfort me or himself.

“We have the results of the brain scan.” She told us. “Can you follow me to my office so we can talk?”

“I-Is it bad?” Brendon whispered as we walked.

“We should talk in my office.” She said in a hushed tone.

His grip on my hand tightened.

We went to her office.

“W-what's going on?” Brendon stammered.

“It's not… it's not looking good.” She sighed. “Sit down.”

We both sat down, still holding hands. The doctor brought up a picture on the screen and turned it to face us.

“This is what a normal teenage brain should look like.” She told us. She then switched the image. “And  _ this  _ is Nicole’s brain.”

“I assume that's not a good thing?”

She compared the two images again, and grabbed a pen from her pen cup, before tracing it along the screen.

“You can see here where it’s deteriorated. This part of the brain that’s gone here, that’s the part that controls movement, which causes the twitching. But what we’re concerned about, is this bit of deterioration over here.”

“Oh…”

“See, the problem is, this is the part of the brain that controls speech and the mouth muscles. And this is going to be hard, but she’s not going to have much longer with her freedom of speech.”

“W-what do we do?”

She sighed. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do. A speech pathologist will help, and they’ll teach her some other methods of communication for when nobody can understand what she’s saying. But basically, now is the time to start planning for the future. She’s going to need a lot of attention and care.”

“Okay….”

“And the other problem that arises from this is going to be eating. Eating is going to be a whole new ball game.”

“What do we do about that?”

“She’ll need softer foods at the beginning, and as it progresses, a feeding tube might become necessary.” She sighed.

“Delightful.” I murmured.

“T-the other doctor s-said she only had five years…” Brendon whispered.

“Well that was hopeful.” She sighed.

His grip on my hand became even tighter.

“At this stage, it seems like there's not long at all. You're probably closer to 5 months than years.

“M-Months?” I stammered. “No, no, there’s got to be something we can do!”

“There isn't. It's acting too fast to do anything about it.”

“What about her life?!” I cried. “She’s only 15!”

“I know, I'm very sorry Mrs Urie.”

“What about school?” Brendon asked. “How do we, How do we deal with that? I mean, she’s already having to switch to easier classes.”

“Online school, maybe? Somewhere where she's safer.”

“Safer?” I echoed.

“Well if something were to happen, it might take a while to find out, and it could just get worse and worse.”

“Oh.” Brendon whispered.

“I'm very sorry…”

“So what should we do?” I asked with a final sigh.

“There's not much you can, there's not much anyone can.”

“O-Okay.” I whispered.

“We’ll keep her here for a little while, and take a few scans to see just fast it's spreading.

“I’ll cancel tonight.” Brendon mumbled to me.

“Sorry this had to happen today.” I whispered.

“Hmm?” The doctor asked.

“Oh, it's just his birthday.” I sighed.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” She apologised. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

The doctor nodded. “That’s basically all I have to say. Just make sure she stays fit and healthy. If anything will slow it down, it’s that. Call me if you have any issues.”

I nodded. “Of course.” 

She remembered something and handed a pack of papers into my hands. “Here. You’re uh, you’re eligible for government benefits now too, if you need some help with paying for it all.”

“Oh, okay….thanks…”

She nodded. “I’ll see you around.”

I nodded unsurely and we left the office.

As soon as we left, Brendon broke down in tears.

“It’ll be okay…” I tried to assure.

He pulled me into a tight hug. “M-Months! M-Months!”

“I-I know.” I whimpered.

“W-What are we g-going to do?!”

“I don’t know!”

“W-What are we g-going to tell her?!”

“I really don’t know Bren.”

“I-I’m scared Sarah.”

“So am I.” I admitted.

We nervously walked back up to the room. Brendon immediately pulled Nicole into a hug.

“I’m dying, aren’t I?” She sighed.

“Shh…” He whispered. “Just, shh.”

“You made it pretty obvious.”

“Brendon, get off her.” I sighed.

“B-But!?”

“You’re strangling me.” Nicole pushed him away.

He curled up in the corner and started crying.

“So what’s up?” Nicole asked.

“We’re going to pull you out of school…” I explained slowly.

“Oh, great. So I  _ am _ dying.”

“No, it’s just to keep you safe Nic. You keep forgetting where you are, plus the seizures, and you’re not doing 70% of the work anyway. We’ll get you into an online school.”

“Wow. So you’re making up excuses. I heard you out in the hall.”

Brendon fished through my bag and grabbed his emergency medication.

“Doesn’t matter anyway. I sorta already knew.”

“Nic…” I sighed. “She just basically explained what’s going to happen soon. It’s going to be pretty scary.”

“Great.” She sighed.

I took her hand. “But we’ll get through it, I promise.”

“This doesn’t sound very promising.”

“I-I’m gonna go c-call G-Gerard.” Brendon stammered, running out of the room,

“I don’t wanna die from the disease. I don’t care how I die, I just don’t want it to be that.”

“Nikki…” I sighed.

“That’ll be all people remember me by if I do.”

“Not me. Or Dad. Or Kaitlyn. Or anybody who’s ever met you.”

“But all of Dad’s fans will.”

“Dad’s fans don’t even know you have it Nic. And we’d never tell them.”

“They’ll find out.”

“You have to have some faith in us Nic.” I sighed.

“You know they will. They find out everything.”

“No they won’t.”

“Yes they will.”

“They won’t I promise.”

“Did you tell them you had kids, or that Dad went to the institution?”

“No…”

“Exactly.” She flopped back on the bed.

“That’s not the point….”

“Then what is?”

I sighed. “That we’re going to get through this.”

She rolled her eyes. “You will. I’ll end up in a body bag.”

“No, no, you won’t.”

“Yes I will!”

“No you won’t Nic.” I sighed.

“You know I will!”

“I’m not going to let that happen Nicole!”

“I’m gonna die! Just face it!”

I pulled her into a hug. “I’m facing it head on Nic. I’m just scared.”

“Oh yeah,  _ you’re  _ scared. I’m the one who’s dying!”

“We’re both scared Nic.” I sighed. “I’m scared of losing you. So’s Brendon.”

She burst into tears.

I gently rubbed her back. “We’ll, we’ll figure it out Nic. Don’t worry.”

“I don’t wanna die!”

“I know, I know. We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry.”

“I’m gonna die!” She sobbed.

I was starting to wish Brendon didn’t leave me.

“I-I don’t like this.” She sniffled, curling up.

“I know.” I whispered. “Nobody does.”

“I-I love you.” She stammered.

I held her close. “I love you too Nic. So, so, so much.”

“I-I-” She tried to say.

“Hmm?”

She just flailed her arms around.

I pulled her back into the hug. “Shh. Calm down Nic. It’s okay.”

“I-I-!” She started to panic.

“What are you trying to say?” I asked, taking her hands in my own.

“M-Mama!” She cried.

I nodded. “Yeah?”

“I-I-....S-Scared!” She stammered.

“I know. I know. We all are Nic.”

“C-Can’t t-talkl!” She cried.

“Can’t talk? Why can’t you talk Nic?”

“I-I!” She cried.

“What’s going on? Is it your jaw, is it trying to find the right words, what is it?”

She shrugged and kept crying.

“How can I help you bub?”

She started flailing her arms around again.

“Dammit. BRENDON!”

He didn’t come back for a good five minutes.

“D-Da-D-D!” She tried to say.

“He’s coming Nikki, don’t worry.” I tried to assure.

She kept crying.

Brendon eventually walked back in and rushed over.

“D-D-!” She tried to say again.

“You stay here Bren, I’ll go, I’ll go find a doctor.”

He shook his head. “You heard her Sarah. They can’t help.”

“They have to be able to do something!”

“M-M-M-!” She stuttered.

“Like what? They can’t reverse the deterioration.”

“I’m going to ask then.”

“D-Dad!” She cried.

Brendon wrapped her in a hug. “Calm down Nic, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

“I-I can’t! I-I can’t talk properly!”

“Take a deep breath. Calm down. It might help.”

She tried doing what he said, but was still panicking.

“It’s going to be okay Nic.” Brendon promised.

She curled up in his arms.

I sighed, knowing that the doctor was no use. I joined the hug instead.

She kept crying and mumbling things under her breath.

“Shh. It’s okay.” Brendon promised.

“I-I hope so.” She managed to say/

We sat with her until she fell asleep, and I started reading through more pamphlets that the doctor had given me. I’d make quite an extensive folder.

“So, we’re going to need appointments with the psychologist, the speech pathologist, the occupational therapist… god. And then we’re going to need to talk to the school and Kaitlyn and then we’ll have to find a program that’s suitable for her needs and then we’ll need to tell her girlfriend and-”

Brendon sighed and cut me off. “Relax, Sarah.”

“I can’t!”

“You’re so stressed.”

“Because this is really stressful!”

“You just have to try and calm down.”

I was already googling the names of some of the best professionals to get for her.

“Let’s just not think about this right now.”

“WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT?!”

“Shh. You’ll wake Nicole. We just need to take some time to think, okay? Don’t jump into anything.”

“We don’t have time!”

He sighed. “Fine. Do whatever.”

I sighed and went back to what I was doing. Brendon had sat down and I noticed his leg was bounching up and down.

“You alright Bren?”

“Y-Yeah….”

“What’s up?”

“N-Nothing…”

“You’re lying.”

“N-no I’m not!”

“Do you want me to make you an appointment with Dr Jo?”

“I-I don’t know…”

I sent her a text and made an appointment.

She said she’d get him in whenever he came in. She said she was having a late night.”

“You can go see her. She’s expecting you.” I offered.

“C-Can’t you t-take me?”

“Someone needs to stay with Nicole, Bren.”

“B-But I can’t drive!”

“Call a cab then.”

“O-Okay…”

I nodded. “I’ll stay in case she wakes up and starts to panic again.”

“O-Okay…”

He went off to go to see Dr Jo.

*******Brendon’s Point Of View*******

The back of the cab was beginning to feel suffocating. My leg was still bouncing, in fact, it was just getting worse. I tried to stop worrying about Nicole but couldn’t.

“You okay back there?” The cab driver made eye contact with me through the mirror.

“I-I’ll be fine, I think.”

“Okay. Well, we’re here.”

“Th-thanks…”

I paid the fare and quickly exited the cab, before walking inside.

“Brendon, come in.” Dr Jo said as I walked in.

“Thanks.” I raced past her and sat on the couch.

M“What’s going on?”

I started crying. “N-Nicole!”

“What’s wrong with Nicole?”

I couldn’t stop myself crying enough to tell her.

“Shh, it's okay Brendon.” She assured, sitting beside me before she startedrubbing my back.

I curled up and buried my head in my knees.

“It's alright Brendon.”

“N-Nicole i-isn’t!”

“What's going on?”

“S-She’s! S-She’s d-dying Dr Jo!” I cried.

“It'll be okay. She's really strong Brendon. She'll be okay.”

“N-No it w-won’t!” I cried. “T-The doctors can’t even d-do anything!”

“I know, there's a lot going on, but it'll slow down, I promise. It won't keep going this fast forever. It's a very scary thing.”

“T-They said 5 m-months!” I sobbed. “5 m-months left!”

“They probably just said that so you wouldn't get really hopeful Brendon.”

“I don’t w-want my d-daughter to die!”

“I know, I know, it's very hard.”

I just continued crying.

“It's okay Brendon.” She kept trying to soothe.

“N-No it’s not b-because N-Nicole’s d-dying!”

“I can't help that Brendon, I'm sorry.”’

I continued sobbing.

She sighed. “Just let it all out Brendon.”

I cried for almost the full session. When I’d finished, I surprisingly felt a lot better.

“Well, we're almost at the end. Is Sarah picking you up?”

“I d-don’t think so. I’ll t-take a cab.”

“I can drop you home if you want?”

“No, no, I need to get back to Nic.”

“What about if I drop you off at the hospital?”

“That would be great…”

“Alright, let's go.”

I smiled slightly and followed her out to the car.

She put on the radio before she started driving to the hospital.

“Can you, um, not tell Blaze about this yet? We’re still trying to work everything out.”

“Yeah, that's fine.”

“Thanks.”

“No problems Brendon.”

We reached the hospital and I got out of the car. “Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem. Best of luck.”

I smiled. “Thanks.”

I walked up to Nicole’s room, where Sarah was trying to calm her down again.

“Shh, it's okay Nic.”

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Just a bit of a slip up.”

“With?”

“Talking, again, I suppose.”

“D-D-D!” Nicole cried.

“It's okay Nic, it's okay.” I tried to assure.

She clung onto Sarah and just kept crying.

“It'll be okay.”

“I-I-I… I- n-n-nee-nee-need…” Nicole stammered.

“Shh, it's okay.”

“N-Need… w-w-w-w-ater!”

“O-okay…” I flustered. I raced out of the room to see what I could find.

I ended up paying 3 bucks at a vending machine, and raced back to Nicole,

“W-W-W-!”

“Here Nikki.” I presented her with the bottle. “Here.”

She sucked onto the bottom until it was almost empty.

“Better?” Sarah asked.

She shrugged. “M-My t-throat f-feels l-l-like its s-swelling o-or something a-and it’s so h-h-hard to talk!”

“We know Nic. The doctor explained everything.”

“W-What’s h-h-happening?!”

“It’s going to get a bit harder for you to talk Nikki.” I sighed. “And then it’s going to go altogether.”

“W-Why do I f-feel l-like this?” She held her throat.

“Because of the disease Nic.” Sarah sighed. “Your brain is playing tricks with your muscles.”

She started coughing.

I rubbed her back. “Easy, Nic. Easy.”

She keep going and going and didn’t end for ages.

“I d-don’t l-like t-this D-Daddy.”

“I know, I know.”

“Visiting hours are over.” A doctor called from the door.

“No!” Nicole cried.

“We’ll be back first thing tomorrow.” I promised.

She shook her head and started coughing and wheezing.

The doctor frowned. “You shouldn’t be wheezing. Sit up for me.”

She tried to sit up and it just got worse.

“Alright. We’ll look after it. See you tomorrow Mr and Mrs Urie.”

“D-Don’t leave.” She wheezed.

I hugged Nicole gently. “We’ll be back as soon as we can.”

“N-No, please!” She coughed slightly.

“They’re not allowed to stay.” The doctor told her. “They’ll be back tomorrow.”

She burst into tears.

“Sorry Nikki.” Sarah apologised.

She just kept crying as we left.

“I feel awful…” I murmured.

“There’s nothing we can do though.”

“Yeah.”

“Mr and Mrs Urie! Come back!” The doctor huffed.

We both turned around. “What’s going on?”

“I-I don’t know, but it doesn’t look good.”

“Is she okay?” I spluttered.

“Not really, look you’ve got to come in now.”

We turned around and followed him back.

When we got back into the room, Nicole was laying rigid and flat but her eyes were wide open.

“Nic!” Sarah panicked, running to her side.

She couldn’t even begin to speak. She just stared at the ceiling with no movement whatsoever.

“What’s happened?!” Sarah asked the doctor.

“I don’t know.” He admitted, gripping tightly onto his clipboard.

“Figure it out!” I panicked.

“We can try a scan?”

“Do it!”

He wheeled her through the corridors and we were left waiting for it to be over.

“S-She’ll be o-okay?” I whispered.

When the doctor came back he looked worried and on the verge of tears.

“What’s wrong?!”

“I-I- can’t...I-I’m sorry!” He raced away.

Sarah and I locked eyes, before we raced into the room.

Nicole’s eyes were closed now, and she was laying in the same position.

“Nikki? Nikki it’s Mom. Open your eyes Nic. Please!” Sarah panicked.

There was no response.

“Go find another doctor Bren!” Sarah yelled.

I went out and got the first doctor I could find. I couldn’t manage to form words.

“Do you need urgent help?”

I nodded.

He walked back with us to the room.

Sarah was still desperately trying to get a response.

We were pushed out of the room and he called more doctors in.

Sarah was so nervous and just held my hand.

“She’ll be okay?” I whispered.

“We both know she won’t.”

I sighed. “Maybe.”

We didn’t hear anything for hours.

“I’m so scared…”

“So am I.”

“Mr and Mrs Urie?”

We both stood up.

“Just...come with me.”

We went into the office and Sarah’s grip on my hand tightened.

“Alright. Sit down.”

We sat. Both us were nervous beyond belief.

“Sorry this took so long.” They apologised.

“I-It’s okay.” Sarah sniffled.

“So we don’t actually know what caused this, but a huge section of her brain has just like, shut down. There’s no other way to describe it.”

“W-What do we do?!”

“I don’t know. I hope it starts again, but it’s just deteriorating already.”

“A-And if it doesn’t?!”

“Then there’s probably no saving her. There’s this huge part here…” She pulled up the scan and circled around a certain part. “All this is gone. And right here…” She sighed, “Is the part most responsible for the circulatory system, and some of the other body systems, so if it spreads to there, we’re screwed.”

Another doctor raced in and slammed the door open. “She’s awake!”

“Okay, keep watch on her vitals, if anything happens tell me and we’ll do another scan.”

He nodded and raced back out.

She sighed. “I give it a few days.” 

“T-Till?” I whispered.

“Till she’s either completely dependant on life support or passes away.”

Sarah burst into tears.

“I’m sorry it came to this.”

“I c-can’t… I have to go.” She left the office.

The doctor sighed.

“S-Should I go see her?” I asked.

“I don’t know.”

“C-Can I?”

She nodded. 

I raced to Nicole’s room.

When I went back in, the doctor was freaking out again and trying to get Nicole to reopen her eyes.

“Nic?” I asked fearfully.

“Come on, you can do it Nicole. You did it just before!” The doctor tried to encourage.

Her eyes opened slowly and she looked around the room, obviously confused.

“Nic!” I breathed a sigh of relief.

“D-D-D-Dad?” She whispered.

“What’s up Nic?”

“I d-don’t f-feel g-good.”

“In what way?”

“I d-don’t k-know…”

“Are you gonna throw up?”

“Nuh uh.” She shook her head.

“Can I help at all?”

She held her arms out for a hug.

I wrapped her in a hug and sniffled. “I love you Nic.”

“I l-love you too.” She murmured.

“It’ll be alright.” I assured.

“Hmm?” She mumbled.

“You’re gonna make it through. I believe in you Nic.”

‘O-okay.”

“You’re the strongest person I know.”

“B-But I d-don’t lift w-weights?” She seemed very confused.

“You don’t have to. You’re strong inside Nic.”

“W-Weird…”

“I know.” I sighed.

“W-Where’s Mom?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh.”

“Doesn’t matter though.”

She nodded unsurely and fell silent, before she started convulsing. I started to panic.

“Nicole?! Nicole wake up!”

It just got worse, and there was no response.

“Doctor!” I called.

I pressed the button for assistance and a nurse raced in.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, looking at Nicole. Her face dropped.

“Help!” I panicked.

“I don’t know how!”

“You’re a damn doctor! Do whatever you do in a seizure!”

She panicked and raced out of the room.

“Dammit!” I yelled, trying to help Nicole.

In a split second, she fell flat and the heart rate monitor started going off.

“HELP!” I screamed.

Two doctors raced in, one with a defibrillator. 

I was pushed out, and I burst into tears.

“I just can’t!” I cried to myself. I raced into the men's bathroom and started having a panic attack there.

There was nobody there, and I ended up passing out.


	39. Chapter 38 - Support

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

When I woke up, everything was blurry and I didn’t know where I was. All I knew was that my fingers were twitching slightly and my head was aching.

“W-What’s happening?” I managed to slur.

“Hey Nic!” I heard Mom say. “Welcome back!”

“W-What?”

“How are you feeling bub?”

“Weird.”

“I can imagine. Do you remember everything?”

“Only parts.”

“That's okay.” She assured. 

“Okay…”

Mom squeezed my hand. “We weren’t even sure if you were going to make it Nic.”

“O-Oh…”

She smiled. “But you did. You made it.”

“Yeah…” I smiled slightly.

“We had to bring you back from the dead twice. It got pretty bad.”

“W-What happened?”

“Your brain went into shutdown… it was ugly. But here you are, and everything’s up and running again.”

“Well that’s good.”

She nodded. “You’ve had a lot of visitors while you were asleep.” She pointed to large pile of balloons, stuffed toys and cards.

“Who would visit me? Besides you and Dad and Kaitlyn, I suppose.”

“Blaze, the Way’s, a few people from school and some girl who said she was on the cross country team with you?”

“And they all know I’m here how?”

“Kaitlyn, I guess.”

I sighed. “Of course.”

“Why are you sad? Shouldn’t you be happy that so many people care about you?”

“Everyone just knows I’m dying. That’s all that matters about me anymore.”

Mom shook her head. “They don’t know about the disease Nic. All they knew was you were in a coma.”

“Delightful.”

“NICOLE!” Someone shouted from the doorway.

“W-What?”

Blaze wrapped me in a hug before I even knew what to do. “You’re awake!”

“Yeah.” I smiled slightly.

“You scared the life out of me!” She was almost crying. “Don’t ever do that again!”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

She cupped my face in her hands and sighed, before hugging me again. “I know, I’m sorry, I was just so worried beautiful.”

“I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re here though.”

“I’m glad you’re here too.” She smiled.

“How often were you here?’”

“Every day? 3 or 4 hours?”

“You didn’t have to be.” I sighed.

“Of course I did.” She nodded. “I’m your girlfriend and I love you.”

I smiled. “Well, thank you.”

She grinned and hugged me again. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

She pressed a kiss to my lips.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around her.

“Not safe for work!” Sarah ran out of the room.

We both giggled and held each other tight.

“I love you Nic.”

“I love you more Blaze.”

“There is no way that you love me more than I love you. It’s impossible.”

“If you say so.” I chuckled.

We sat and talked for a while until Sarah came back in and informed Blaze that her mother was waiting for her out front.

She frowned. “I’ll see you soon Nic. I promise.”

“See you soon Blaze.”

She smiled and quickly kissed me before leaving.

Sarah chuckled. “She really does love you Nic.”

“I really love her too.”

“That’s good to hear.”

I smiled and nodded.

Dad arrived with Kaitlyn, and both of them wrapped me in a hug.

“Hey guys.”

“You’re up!” Dad smiled. “Thank god!”

“Yeah, I am…”

“We missed you!” Kaitlyn smiled.

“I missed you too.”

“I still can’t believe you were out for almost 2 weeks.” Kaitlyn shook her head in disbelief.

“2 weeks?!”

Dad nodded.

“Oh my god.” I murmured, laying back.

“But you’re okay now!” Kaitlyn smiled.

“I suppose so.”

She nodded.

“How are you guys?”

“Pretty good.” Brendon smiled.

“That’s cool.”

He nodded. “It is.”

“How’s your album going?”

“Selling like wildfire.” He grinned.

“That’s awesome.”

His phone started buzzing, and he frowned. “I’ll be right back.”

“Okay…”

He left the room quickly.

“I missed you so much.” Kaitlyn whispered, wrapping me in a tight hug.

I smiled slightly. “I missed you too.”

“Please don’t go again.”

“I won’t.” She promised.

“Thank you.”

She hugged me.

“You’re the best.”

She giggled. “Not really.”

“Yes really.”

She rolled her eyes playfully.

“Doesn’t matter anyway.”

Dad walked back in. “Gerard’s in emergency. I have to get down there.”

“What? Why?”

“Lindsey and Bandit were in a car accident.” He grabbed his bag. “Gerard wasn’t in the car, but both of them are seriously injured. I’ve got to go help him. He always helps me.”

“Okay Bren…”

He hugged me and pressed a kiss to my forehead, before dashing out of the room.

“I hope they’re okay…”

“Me too.” Kaitlyn mumbled.

“Can we visit them?”

“Sure bub.” Sarah told her. “Follow your Dad. I’ll stay with Nic.”

I sighed and flopped back onto the bed.

Kaitlyn nodded and ran out of the room.

“I hope everything’s okay.” I mumbled.

“Me too… it didn’t sound good.”

“Not really. You can go down if you want.”

She shook her head. “I’m not about to leave you after waiting so long to be with you.”

“Yeah, but I’m getting tired.” I lied.

“I’ll still stay.” She assured.

“Just go.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Well its more important you’re with them than me, so in a way, yes.”

“I think it’s more important I stay with you bub.”

“If you say so.”

She nodded.

I sighed and curled up on the bed and just looked at her.

She smiled and pulled her phone out.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Just making some appointments.”

“For what? For who? Is it for me?” I sighed.

“Yes.” She answered simply.

“For what?”

“Speech pathology, physiotherapy, psychotherapy, lots of things.”

“Great.” I mumbled. I felt parts of my body start going numb and tingly and my head started spinning. “M-Mom?”

“What’s up Nic?”

“I-I don’t feel too g-good.”

“Want me to get a doctor?”

“P-Please.” I managed to stammer.

She nodded and ran out of the room.

“No, no, not again!” I cried. This happened last time. I just hoped it wasn’t the same thing.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

"Shh. It's okay Bee. Daddy's right here. He's right here."

I grimaced and took Kaitlyn's hand as we watched Gerard try and comfort a distraught Bandit. The doctors had explained what happened to her, the jolt from the crash had disconnected the optic nerves. She was legally blind.

"D-Daddy I c-can't see!" She screamed in terror.

"I know, I know, calm down." Gerard took her shaking hand. "It's okay. It's okay. I'm right here Bee."

“D-Daddy!” She shouted again. 

He placed her hand on his face. “I’m here, I’m here. It’s okay.”

“W-Why can’t I see?! I n-need to see Daddy!”

“It’ll be okay Beezle. You’ll be okay.” He kept repeating, for the comfort of both of them.

“N-No I won’t! I w-won’t Daddy! I c-can’t see! I-I need to see again!”

He sighed and pulled her into a hug. She shrieked, unable to see what he was doing.

“D-Daddy!” She cried.

“Yeah Bee?”

“W-Why can’t I see?! I-I wanna see you Daddy! W-Why won’t m-my eyes open properly?!”

“Because of the car Bee.” He whispered. “You’re not going to be able to see again…”

“No, no! I-I need to see!”

“It’ll be okay Bee. I’ll help you.” He tried to assure.

“I-I need to see again!” She wailed, waving her arms around.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” I decided to weigh in. “Uncle Bren’s here too.”

“W-Why c-can’t I see you!? I-I need to s-see!”

Gerard started crying.

“I-I need to see y-you Daddy!”

“Y-You can’t Bee.” He whispered.

“B-But I can’t do anything i-if I can’t see!”

“Of course you can Bandit.” I promised. “Your Mommy and Daddy and me and Aunty Sarah and Kaitlyn and Nikki will help you.”

“B-but I can’t see you! I-I wanna see you!”

“I know. You’re not going to be able to see anymore, okay?”

“B-But I wanna!”

“I know Bee. I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s really scary a-and dark!”

“It’s just like you have your eyes closed Bee. That’s all it is.”

“B-But they won’t open! I-It’s really scary U-Uncle Bren!”

“They’re open Bee, the problem is, your eyes can’t see anymore. But it’ll be okay, I promise.”

“I-I don’t like the dark!”

“I know.” I sighed.

She reached out for one of us as she cried.

I gently pulled her into my arms as not to startle her, and gently rubbed her back. “Shh. It’ll be okay.”

She just kept crying. She was terrified.

“W-Where’s Lindsey?” Kaitlyn whispered.

Gerard whimpered. “S-she’s in the next r-room.”

“S-Should I go s-see her?”

“There’s n-not much to see.”

“W-What if s-she’s lonely?”

“She w-wouldn’t know…”

“What happened Gerard?” I asked, still trying to soothe Bandit.

“N-Nothing….”

Kaitlyn raced out of the room to go see.

He burst into tears.

“D-Daddy w-what’s wrong?!” Bandit cried.

“Nothing B-B-Bee...nothing.”

“P-P-Please tell me!” She sobbed.

“Mommy’s j-just having a n-nap.” 

“O-Okay…”

Gerard kept silently crying.

Bandit tried to reach out for him, but was reaching in the entirely wrong direction.

Gerard walked into her arms and held her tight.

“W-When are m-my e-eyes gonna b-be fixed D-Daddy?”

“They won’t b-be fixed B-Bee.”

“W-What?!” She cried. “N-No, I n-need to s-see a-again!”

“I’m sorry Bee.”

She burst into another round of tears.

“It’ll be okay.”

“I w-wanna s-see you D-Daddy!”

“I-I know, I-I’m sorry.”

She fumbled on the bed for her stuffed toy, but couldn’t find it. I slowly pushed it into her arms to help her.

She curled up in Gerard’s arms and cried.

“You’ll be okay Bee.” He murmured. “We’ll get through this.’

“I-I just wanna see!”

“I know.” He sighed. 

“I-I miss I-it.”

“Me too.” He murmured.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

_ Sarah: Nicole’s passed out. Another seizure. Doctors say she should be fine. Just letting you know. _

_ Brendon: will she be okay? _

_ Sarah: Yep. She should be fine. _

_ Brendon: that's good, at least _

_ Sarah. Yeah. What’s happening with Lindz and Bee? _

_ Brendon: I'm not sure about Lindsey, but Bandit’s now legally blind and terrified. _

_ Sarah: WHAT?! _

_ Sarah: I’m on my way _

_ Brendon: okay. Room 47 _

Sarah arrived in a matter of minutes and immediately rushed to Bandit’s side.

“W-who's that D-Daddy?”

“Aunty Sarah’s here Bee.” He explained.

“O-okay…” She stammered.

Sarah took over with the comforting, and I went to find Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn was in Lindsey's room, and sort of just staring in disbelief.

“What’s going on?” I asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“I-I don't know…”

“Is she okay?”

“I honestly don't know. She hasn't moved. Her heart rate seems fine though.”

I walked over. “Linds? It’s Brendon.”

There was no response at all. All you could hear was the machines beeping.

“Has there been a doctor?” I asked Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn shook her head. “Not yet.”

“Should we go find one?”

She shrugged.

We went and found a doctor, and brought him into the room.

“What's the problem?” The doctor asked.

“Look and see for yourself.”

“Well yes, I know what's going on, but why'd you bring me here?”..

“What can we do?!”

“Just hope she wakes up.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“We’ll have to see.”

“Is there anything you can do? Her husband is distraught and her daughter just lost her sight and is freaking out.”

“I honestly don't know. You can try talking to her?”

“Thanks.”

He nodded and left the room.

“P-Poor G-Gee…” Kaitlyn murmured.

I nodded. “He’s just got to keep it together.”

“I-Is he going to b-be able t-to?”

“I hope so. I'm gonna help him though.”

She smiled. “T-that’s nice of y-you.”

“He's done it so many times for me.”

“S-Should we go back?”

“D-don't leave.” A voice croaked.

“Lindsey?” I asked, racing back over to her.

She coughed slightly, before her eyelids parted and she opened her eyes.

“Lindsey!” I smiled. “Hey!”

“Hey Brendon.” She forced a weak smile.

“How are you feeling?”

“A bit loopy, and drowsy.”

“Do you remember what happened?” I asked.

She shook her head. “Nope.”

“You and Bandit were in a really severe car accident.”

“Is she okay?”

“Not really…”

“I've got to see her.”

“She can’t see you...”

“What do you mean?”

“S-she’s blind Linds. The crash took her sight.”

“W-what?” She started crying.

“I'm sorry.” I whispered. 

“It’s not your fault….”

“I c-crashed the c-car!” She sobbed. “I-I should’ve p-paid m-more a-attention or t-taken t-the other r-road!!”

“No, no, it's okay.”

She started crying hysterically. “W-What have I d-done?!”

“N-Nothing? I-It’s not your fault?” I found myself shaking.

“Why don’t we go next door?” Kaitlyn suggested.

“O-Okay….”

We walked next door back to Bandit, who was still crying in Gerard’s arms.

Sarah was sitting down quietly. I sat down beside her and tried to calm down. It was like Lindsey was in my position now and I couldn’t handle it.

“W-Who’s t-there?!” Bandit cried in confusion.

“Uncle Brendon and Kaitlyn. That’s all.”

“W-Where’s M-Mommy?! I w-want Mommy!”

“Mommy’s just having a nap.”

“She’s awake Gee.” I whispered.

“H-How is she?”

“Distraught.”

“O-Oh no…”

“You can go see her. We’ll look after Bandit.”

“N-No! Daddy!”

“I’ll be right back Bee.” He promised. “I just have to go see Mommy.”

“B-But I-I need you!”

“Uncle Bren and Aunty Sarah are here, I’ll be right back.”

She kept crying, so I wrapped her in a gentle hug.

She shrieked. “W-Who’s t-that?!”

“It’s just Uncle Bren.”

“U-Uncle B-Bren? O-Okay…”

“It’s okay Bee. You’ll be okay.”

“B-But I c-can’t see!” She cried. “W-What if I w-want to k-know if i-it’s sunny or i-it’s rainy?!”

“We can tell you.”

“I w-wanna s-see Uncle B-Bren!” She sobbed. “I w-wanna s-see!”

“I know Bee, I know.” I sighed.

“I-I’m s-scared of t-the b-blackness!” She cried. “I-It’s e-everywhere!”

“I know, but it’ll get less scary, I promise.”

She just cried into my shoulder.

“It’s okay Bandit.”

“I-I’m s-scared U-Uncle B-Bren.” She whispered tearfully.

“I know, but I’ll be here the whole time.”

She cried into my shoulder for a while, before Gerard returned with Lindsey in tow.

“W-W-Who’s t-t-there?!” Bandit asked, clinging onto me tighter.

“It’s just Mommy and Daddy.” Gerard explained.

“M-Mommy? M-Mommy where a-are you?! I c-can’t s-see you!”

“I’m r-right here.” She sniffled, taking Bandit’s hand back off me.

Bandit felt around and eventually found Lindsey with her hands, before snuggling into her arms. “I-I can’t s-see M-Mommy! I-I’m s-scared!”

“I know sweetie, I know. But Mommy’s here now.”

“I-It’s s-so d-dark!”

“I know, it's okay.”

“M-Mommy!” She cried again, snuggling further into Lindsey.

“It’s okay Bandit, I’m here.”

“I-I can’t s-see you M-Mom!” She cried.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to.”

She just kept crying.

“It’s okay Bee.”

I turned to Sarah. “Should we head back up to Nic?”

She nodded and stood up.

“Thanks for your help Brendon.” Gerard smiled weakly at me.

“It’s fine.” I assured.

He nodded and went back to comforting Bandit.

We walked back up to Nicole’s room and she was curled up and crying.

“Nic! What’s wrong?!”

“M-My head’s so sore!”

I pulled her into a hug. “Sorry.”

She cried out and held her head.

“Shhh. It’s okay.”

“It hurts so much!”

Sarah ran to find a doctor.

“W-Why’s this happening Dad?!”

“I don’t know Nic.” 

“I hate i-it!”

“Me too.”

“Just let me die already!”

“Shh. Don’t say that Nikki. Mom’s getting a doctor.”

“It hurts so much Dad!

“I know, I know, just hold on.”

She kept crying and holding her head.

The doctor came and gave her a drip, and it seemed to work a little too well.

“G-Goodnight.” She murmured drowsily.

“Night Nic. Sleep well.”

She fell asleep immediately after that.

Sarah sighed. “This is awful.”

I frowned and nodded.

“I don’t think she’s getting out of here soon.”

“Probably not.”

She sighed. “Yeah.”

“We’ll just have to pull through.”

I sighed and nodded.

Kaitlyn wandered back up after a while to check up on things.

“Hey little worm.” I smiled.

“Hey.” She smiled weakly.

“How’s Bandit doing?”

“She’s starting to calm down.”

“That’s good.” I smiled.

She nodded and sat down.

“Nic’s not doing too well.” Sarah sighed. “She just went to sleep.”

Kaitlyn frowned. It was easy to see she was really worried.

I hugged her. “She’ll be okay little worm.”

“I-I hope so…” She sniffled.

“Do you want to come with me to get some lunch?”

“O-Okay…”

I took her hand. “Want to come Sarah?”

“I’ll stay here, just in case.”

“Okay. We’ll bring you some food back.”

“Thanks.” She smiled.

I smiled at her and took Kaitlyn downstairs.

“What are we gonna get?” She asked.

“Whatever you want.” I smiled.

“Oh, okay.”

We sat down and I passed her a menu. “So how are you little worm? We haven’t really had a chance to talk in a few days.”

“I’m okay, I suppose. How are you?”

“I’m pretty good. Are you coping with everything?”

“Yeah, I guess so…”

“That’s good.” I smiled.

“Yeah.”

“What are you going to get?”

“I honestly have no clue.”

I scanned through the menu. “I’m going to get the pizza.”

“I-I’ll just have the s-same…”

“Okay. Do you want to order?”

“I-I, uh….”

“That’s alright. I’ll do it.”

“Thanks.”

I went and ordered before sitting back down.

“Sorry I couldn’t order….”

“That’s fine little worm.”

“It was just inconvenient for you.”

“Not really.”

“If you say so…”

“How’d you think you went on your big exam?”

“I’m gonna find out tomorrow hopefully. I think I went alright though.”

“That’s awesome.” I smiled.

She nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

“I’m so proud of you.” I grinned.

“Thanks Dad.” She smiled.

We ate lunch and grabbed some for Sarah, before heading back up to the room.

“Any change?” I asked.

Sarah nodded. “She woke up, and was feeling a lot better, before she went back to sleep.”

“We that's good.”

She nodded. “Got a call from Lindsey, they’re heading home. Bandit is supposedly freaking out.”

I frowned. “That sucks.”

“Mmm. Life is going to be a lot harder for them.”

“Yeah.” I sighed.

“Anyway, do you want to drive Kaitlyn to therapy?”

“Yeah, okay.”

She nodded. “Thanks for the pizza Bren.”

“No problem.”

She smiled at me, before I took Kaitlyn out to the car.

“Let’s get going.”

She nodded and we headed off. I kept thinking of Lindsey’s crash, then mine, then hers and started panicking. I had completely zoned out.

“A-Are you o-okay Dad?” Kaitlyn asked, putting a hand on the wheel to steady the car.

“N-No!” I cried out.

“P-Pull over!”

I tried to pull over, and Kaitlyn ended up doing most the work.

“Y-You call Mom, I’m going to c-call a cab.”

I tried to call Sarah and my hand was shaking too much. I ended up dropping the phone between the seat and the console.

Kaitlyn sighed and dug it out, before sending me to sit on the side of the road.

I curled up beside the car and called Sarah.

“H-Hello?” I stammered.

“What’s up Bren?”

“I-I c-can’t drive.” I cried.

“What? Why?”

“B-Because I d-don’t wanna crash!”

“Shh. Calm down. What’s going on?”

“I-I don’t know!”

“Why are you so scared of crashing Bren?”

“B-Because it h-happened to m-me, then Lindsey!”

“Oh, Bren, babe, you can’t make that comparison.” She sighed. “I’m coming to get you, okay? Just hold tight.”

“O-okay.” I sniffled.

“I love you. See you soon.” She hung up the phone.

I put my phone down beside me and stayed curled up on the side of the road. I probably looked like an idiot.

“Are you okay Dad?” Kaitlyn asked.

“N-No.” I cried.

She wrapped me in a hug. “I-It’s okay.”

“O-Okay…”

Sarah got out of a cab and raced over.

“I-I-...” I whimpered.

She wrapped me in a hug. “Let’s drop Kaitlyn off, and then we’ll go and talk about this, okay?”

“O-Okay…” I stammered.

She helped me back to the car and I was silent the rest of the way.

Once we were at Indigo’s office, Kaitlyn got out.

“We’ll be back soon bub.” Sarah said.

Kaitlyn nodded and went inside.

“Alright, let’s go find somewhere a bit better than here.”

I nodded silently.

We ended up at a park and she sat me down.

“I-I don’t wanna talk…” I murmured.

“I know Bren, but I have to know so I can help you.”

“You can’t help!” I started crying again.

Sarah pulled me into a hug. “Shhh. Shh. It’s okay.”

“I just want it to be gone!”

“I know Bren, I know. Just, your accident and Lindsey’s accident aren’t alike at all, okay? They’re completely different. Both of you did everything you could, and it’s nobody’s fault that these things happen. You just need to take a deep breath, and remember that.”

“B-But I could have changed l-lanes, or s-sped up or anything!”

“No Bren, you couldn’t have. It’s not your fault. You’re not to blame.”

“I could have done anything!”

“Do you need to talk to Dr Jo?”

“She can’t help!”

Sarah sighed and pulled her phone out.

“No! Don’t!” 

She called, and I sat there humiliated, feeling like a child.

“I don’t wanna go!” I sobbed.

“Sorry Bren.” She sighed. “You need some help, and I can’t give it to you.”

I kept crying and just got louder and louder.

She drove me to Dr Jo’s office, and I was taken straight in.

I curled up on the couch and cried.

She sighed and sat down. “What’s going on Brendon?”

“Go away!” I sobbed.

“Brendon, you’re in  _ my  _ office. Let’s talk.”

“I don’t wanna talk!”

“I know that.” She sighed. “So let’s start. Why couldn’t you drive?”

I cross my arms and shook my head.

“Brendon, you’re wasting both your time and mine.”

“G-Good.” I sniffled.

She sighed. “Let’s talk about something else then. How’s Nicole?”

“B-Bad! Awful!” I sobbed.

“Why’s that?”

“She’s gonna die!” I cired.

“Brendon, calm down. What do you mean by that?”

“I-It’s progressing too quickly!”

“The disease?”

I nodded and kept crying.

“How are you and Sarah dealing with that?”

“I-I can’t deal with it! I-I’m so scared, a-and stressed, a-and, I just can’t!”

“Why do you think that is Brendon?”

“B-Because I l-love her and I-I don’t want to l-lose her!”

She smiled slightly. “Okay. But haven’t you known all along how the disease works?”

“I-I didn’t think it’d be so soon.”

“And that scares you?”

I sniffled and nodded.

“Why?”

“B-Because?”

“What do you think you could do to make it easier?”

“I-I don’t know. I just k-keep losing p-people! I-I should just b-be alone.”

“That wasn’t the question Brendon.” She sighed. “Why do you think you should be alone?”

“B-Because then I have no o-one to lose!”

“To be alone, you have to lose everyone first.”

“I-I just want everything t-to be easy!”

“Life’s not easy Brendon. Everyone has challenges that they need to go through.”

“I have the most!”

“It’s not a competition Brendon.” She told me. “You just need to bounce back and keep going. That’s how we get through life’s challenges.” She pointed to a quote on the wall. “If you’re going through hell, just keep going.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve been trying to for too long.”

“What will happen if you stop Brendon?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“What does stopping mean to you? What would you stop doing?”

“Stop living, maybe?”

“And what would happen to your family if you did that?”

“I don’t know!” I cried.

“How do you think Nicole and Kaitlyn would feel if you weren’t around?”

“I don’t know!”

“Well, think about it.”

I didn’t even try to think. I just sat there and cried. All my thoughts had gone cloudy.

“Is that what you want Brendon?”

“M-Maybe?”

She sighed. “That’s not what you want Brendon. Anyway, I have a very important appointment soon, so just go home, and relax, okay? Try and distract yourself.”

“N-No, I need to talk about something!”

“Book a later appointment then.”

“W-We need to talk about it now!” 

Brendon, go home and relax.” She directed, before walking me out.

I was still crying.

“Feeling any better?” She asked. 

I shrugged.

Sarah got in the car.

“C-can I go home?” I asked her. 

She nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

She drove me home. “I’m going back to the hospital, okay?”

I nodded unsurely. 

Once she was gone, I burst into tears. I didn’t want to have to live to see my daughter die, and there was only one way that would happen. I got my medication out of the cupboard and emptied the bottle into my hand.

*******Sarah’s Point Of View*******

“Brendon I’m home!”

There was no response so I put my bag down. “You better not be trying to scare me.”

Again, there was only silence through the house. I figured he must be out in the studio or something.

I went straight to the studio and knocked on the door. “Brendon?”

Nothing but silence.

I just pulled out my phone and sent him a text. I heard a ding from the kitchen from his phone.

“Brendon!” I called, mindlessly walking in.

I saw him on the ground, slightly leaning on the counter. I rushed over to his side and took his pulse. There was nothing.

“BRENDON!” I screamed, grabbing my phone as quickly as I could, before dialling 911.

“You’ve reached 911. What’s your emergency?”

“My h-husband h-has no p-pulse!” I screamed.

“Okay, calm down. Where are you?”

I rattled off the address.

“We’re dispatching an ambulance to your location.”

“T-Thanks…”

“Stay calm and they’ll be there soon.”

“O-Okay…”

“Goodbye.” The call was hung up. 

I raced back over to Brendon and started crying.

I barely heard the paramedics arrive over my sobs and they launched straight into emergency procedure.

“Ma’am, we need you to step back.”

I stepped away, but was still crying.

“Still nothing.” One of the paramedics murmured. “There’s nothing we can do here. We’ve got to get him in right now.”

“But there’s no response? Taking him in won’t make any difference.”

“S-Save h-him!” I cried in desperation.

“We’re trying. We’re just not having any luck.”

I was sobbing hysterically, not knowing what else to do.

One of the paramedics sighed. “Time of death, 5:57.”

I started screaming.

“Shh, shh.” One of the paramedics tried to console.

“B-BRENDON!” I cried.

They all stepped away for a moment.

I held his face and shook it back and forth. “Y-YOu have to w-wake up!”

In the moment, I heard him cough slightly. His lips were blue, and he looked so sick, but he was breathing again.

“HE’S BREATHING! SOMEONE HELP HIM!” I screamed at the paramedics.

They pushed me away and hooked him up to a whole bunch of machines.

“I-Is he o-okay?!”

“Hopefully.”

They sat him up properly and bought more equipment in. 

“S-Sarah?” He wheezed.

“I’m here, it’s okay.” I assured.

“I-I love you.” He said, before his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

The paramedics pushed me away again, and I was sobbing.

“We’re going to take him in Ma’am. We need to get the pills out of his stomach.”

I nodded tearfully and they loaded him into the ambulance.

His last words rang in my head. I hoped this wouldn’t be the last time I ever heard them.

******Kaitlyn’s Point Of View******

I was a little annoyed at the hospital workers. They were treating Mom horribly, and trying to destroy her hope, when in fact, Dad was doing well. He has been cleared of the pills, and was recovering. The people telling her to make funeral arrangements were the real problem.

Even after they left, she kept crying.

“It’s okay Mom. It’s okay.” I rubbed her back. “Dad’s going to be okay.”

“What if he isn’t?!”

“He’ll be okay!”

She kept crying.

I sighed and continued rubbing her back.

“I should’ve been there!”

“No, no, it’s not your fault.”

“Why did I leave him alone?!”

I sighed.

“Mrs Urie?”

She looked up. “Y-Yeah?”

“Would you like to see Brendon? He’s awake, but he’s still very fragile, and healing from the surgery.”

She nodded and took my hand.

We walked into the room and he forced a smile.

“BRENDON!” She wrapped him in a hug.

“Oww…” He whimpered. “Hi.”

“Y-You s-s-scared me s-so b-bad!”

“I-I’m sorry….”

She snuggled into him. “D-Don’t ever do it a-again.”

“I-I tried to talk to D-Dr Jo about i-it and she j-just said to c-come back later!”

Sarah seemingly didn’t care and just laid next to him. “I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again Bren.”

“I-I’m sorry….”

“It’s okay.” She whispered. “You’re okay now.”

“I-I guess so…”

She nodded.

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“What do you want for your birthday Kaitlyn?”

“Nothing.” She answered simply.

“Of course we have to get you something little worm.”

She shook her head. “I don’t care.”

“Okay. We’ll get you something cool.”

“If you so.” She murmured.

Sarah passed us dinner. “Here.”

“Thanks.” I smiled.

Nicole gulped and looked up at Sarah. We had started to experience some of the eating and swallowing problems the doctors had warned us about, and Nicole was starting to dread mealtimes.

Sarah sat beside her and tried to encourage her to start eating.

She did so, choking on every 3rd bite or so.

“You’re doing so well.”

She sniffled, and just kept eating. She didn’t talk much anymore.

We had all finished and it was just Nicole and Sarah sitting at the table now. Nicole was crying and choking.

“That’s it bub. You’re doing so well.” Sarah gently rubbed her shoulder.

She just put the fork down, buried her face in her arms and sobbed.

Sarah sighed silently and tried to comfort her.

Her tears just deepened.

“Wanna play Xbox with me Nikki?” I asked.

She shook her head.

“You sure?”

“I-I don’t know…” She whispered.

I passed her a controller. “Come on, come play with me.”

She sniffled and sat beside me.

I put Forza in, and she beat me like 5 times in a row, but didn’t seem any better.

“I-I’m going to bed.”

“It’s only 7:30 Nic.”

She shrugged and trudged to her room, but her leg twitched and she fell.

I rushed to help her up, but she moved away from my touch and pulled herself up.

She then just raced off into her room and closed the door behind her.

Sarah and I looked at each other, before following her.

When we went in, she was curled up in her bed crying.

“Shh. It’s okay Nic.” Sarah sat down and started stroking her hair.

“I-I can’t do anything!”

“That’s not true bub. You just beat your Dad like heaps at the Xbox.”

“That doesn’t matter!”

“Of course it matters!”

“No it doesn’t!” She cried.

Sarah pulled her into a hug. “Nic, it doesn’t matter if you have some problems with some things. You’re still an amazing person.”

“I’m useless!”

“No, no, that’s not true at all.”

“Yes it is!” She wailed.

“No, it’s not. I mean, just look at this.” Sarah lifted her notepad. “You never told us you were a poet.”

“That’s cause I’m not.” She sniffled.

“Look at this! This is incredible Nic!”

“I-It’s okay…”

The handwriting was terrible, but I was able to read it just. “This is so much better than anything I write Nic.”

“N-No it’s not. Y-You’re famous for a r-reason…”

“Ryan wrote all our songs for the first two albums. I was never the lyricist.”

She just shrugged. “Y-You can use i-it if you w-want.”

I shook my head. “That’s plagiarism.”

“O-Okay….”

“Also, Gerard’s invited us all to dinner tomorrow.” Sarah sighed. “Bandit wants people to talk to, but she’s not ready for the outside world yet. Apparently Gee’s had to take her in for a concussion about 3 times from bumping into things.”

I frowned. “That sucks.”

Sarah nodded.

“Oh well.” I murmured.

“I w-want to write an a-autobiography.” Nicole sniffled. “S-So all m-my memories a-are there when I’m g-gone.”

“Oh..um...okay..”

She nodded silently.

“Do you want us to leave you alone?”

She nodded and grabbed her iPad, switching to the communication app she’d had to download.  _ Yeah, I just need some time. _

We nodded and left the room.

Sarah took my hand. “We’re going to get through this.”

“I hope so.” I breathed.

We sat down to watch a movie with Kaitlyn, and we all just sat together until it was time for bed.

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

“Which do you think is a better title? “The short life of Nicole Urie” or “Just Another Brick in the Wall”?” I asked everyone on the way to the Way household.

They all just shrugged.

I sighed. “Short life of Nicole Urie it is.”

The car returned to silence.

We reached the house and Dad knocked on the door. Bandit came running towards us, but instead crashed straight into the wall next to the door at full speed.

She fell down and rubbed her head.

Gerard scooped her up. “Are you okay Bee?”

She nodded unsurely.

“Uncle Bren and Aunty Sarah are here.” He smiled.

“Can I have cuddles?”

He nodded and passed Bandit to me. A pair of dark sunglasses were sitting on the bridge of her nose, making her newfound blindness more obvious.

“I like your cuddles.” She smiled.

I smiled. “I like yours too Bee.”

“You guys are the best.”

Gerard led us through to the lounge and we all sat down. I pulled my iPad back out and kept working.

“What are you doing Nic?” Gerard asked.

“I’m writing an autobiography.” I murmured.

“Interesting.”

I nodded silently, not wanting to engage in any conversation which would distract me.

Bandit kept running around and running into things. I was surprised she hadn’t seriously hurt herself yet.

Gerard pulled her onto his lap. “Bee, what did I tell you about running?”

She frowned. “I’m bored Daddy!”

“Dinner’s almost ready.” He assured.

“Fine.” She mumbled.

He sighed and noticed the bruise on her forehead. “When’d you hit your head Bee?”

“When Uncle Bren got here.” She mumbled.

He sighed and fetched the first aid kit, before plastering a band-aid onto her forehead. “There. All better.”

“Thanks Daddy.”

He smiled sadly. “Go see your Mom, okay? Remember what I told you about holding the wall so you know where you’re going?”

She nodded and felt her way all the way to where Lindsey was.

“How has everything been going with her?” Brendon asked.

Gerard just sighed.

“Not great, then?”

“Not at all. She’s not coping at all. We have a tutor come to the house to teach her braille, but she’s not very good at all, and can hardly recognise a single letter. And then we have these appointments so she can learn to use a cane thing, and they have one at the place, but the one I ordered online hasn’t come yet, so Lindsey and I are just always on our toes. It’s really stressful.”

“That sucks. Can we help at all?”

“I don’t think so. We’re both just going to take some time off work until she gets everything under control.”

Brendon nodded. “If you think of anything, just tell us.”

He nodded. “Dinner’s almost ready, want to come sit down?”

I froze. “I-I’m not h-hungry.”

Sarah sighed. “Come on Nic.”

I shook my head wildly.

“It’ll be fine.”

“Y-You know it won’t!”

“We’ll get through it.”

I ran and locked myself in the bathroom. 

“Nicole!” Sarah sighed.

“I-I’m n-not…” More tears welled to my eyes as my speech started playing up again.

“It’s okay Nic. At least let me in.”

I debated for a while before unlocking the door.

“Thanks bub.” She smiled sadly.

I sniffled and slumped on the floor.

“I know it sucks. I’m really sorry.”

I flicked to the other app.  _ Yeah. _

“I won’t try and make you eat.”

_ Thanks. _

“No problem Nic. I think you just need a moment to chill.”

_ Yeah.  _ I sighed.

“Wanna go out or just stay here?”

I shrugged.

“We’ll stay here.”

We stayed still until Brendon started calling for us.

Sarah went out to see what was going on.

“Do you want cake Nic?”

_ No thanks. _

“Come sit out with us anyway bub? Bandit’s wondering where you are.”

I frowned and hesitantly pulled myself up.

Sarah smiled, and we started walking out to the kitchen. I made it halfway, before my leg twitched, and I tumbled to the ground. My iPad fell out of my arms, and actually  _ bounced  _ before landing on the tiled floor with a  _ smash. _

“Okay, it’s okay.” Sarah assured, helping me up.

I scrambled to pick up my iPad, which was now showing up all different colours and smashed in about 100 different places.

“We’ll get you a new one.”

I just started crying. I had no means of communication. My voice wouldn’t work, my hands twitched too much to write, and now my iPad was gone.  _ Great. _

“It’s okay Nic.” She assured.

I walked back to the bathroom and locked the door again.

I heard Sarah and Brendon start arguing.

I just cried. I was glad my sobs blocked them out.

There were a bunch of knocks at the door.

“We’re leaving Nicole.” Brendon said. “Come on.”

I didn’t take much note of it, because he still seemed mad. There was a lot more door-slamming and yelling to come. Eventually, Brendon and Sarah had left and Gerard knocked on the door.

I reluctantly unlocked it.

“Hey Nicole.” He smiled slightly.

I waved, as that was all I could really do.

He handed me another iPad, with a huge, life-proof case on. He’d even installed the apps I’d been using on it.

I smiled.  _ You’re the best. _

He chuckled. “Not really.”

_ Yeah you are. Thanks. _

He smiled. “It’s no problem Nicole.”

I nodded slightly.  _ What was up with my parents? _

“They’re just stressed. I don’t know. But you and Kaitlyn are having a bit of a sleepover here for tonight.”

_ Oh, okay. Thanks. _

“It’s fine.” He assured. “Are you tired?”

I nodded.

“Well let’s get you to bed. Kaitlyn’s already asleep.”

_ Thanks. _

He smiled and lead me to the guest bedroom. There were some blankets and pillows already on the bed.

_ Thank Gerard.  _ I winced at how the computer pronounced his name.

He giggled. “No problem Nicole.”

I gave him a hug before I headed to bed.

He smiled and turned the lights off as he left.

\--------------------------

“N-Nikki? I-Is that you?”

“Yeah? What’s up?” I murmured.

“I-I had a n-nightmare.” Bandit whispered, climbing onto my bed. “A-And I d-don’t r-remember the w-way to M-Mommy and D-Daddy’s room.”

“That’s okay. You can stay here with me.”

“T-Thanks…” She murmured. “A-Am I next to the bed?”

“Yep. Want some help?”

She nodded.

I helped her onto the bed and wrapped my arms around her.

She smiled slightly. “Thanks Nikki. Is it still dark outside?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“O-Okay.” She murmured sleepily. “Goodnight Nikki.”

“Goodnight Bee.” I hugged them tight.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

“Wake up Nicole, and Bee.” Gerard smiled, opening up the curtains.

I groaned and rolled over.

“Come on girls.”

He helped Bandit off the bed. 

I reluctantly pulled myself out of bed and grabbed Gerard’s iPad, before following them out to the kitchen where Lindsey was making waffles.

Kaitlyn was already wide awake and dressed.

“Hey Mom!” Bandit grinned, going to hug her but accidently walking straight into the cabinet.

“Are you alright Bee?” Lindsey asked.

She rubbed her nose. “I-Is it b-bleeding Mom?”

“Ooo, yeah. I’ll get a tissue, give me a moment.”

Bandit didn’t move, probably out of fear of walking into something else.

Lindsey came back and held a tissue to her nose.

“T-Thanks M-Mommy.”

“No problem. We’ve got waffles for breakfast today. How does that sound?”

Bandit smiled and nodded. I fumbled with the iPad.  _ I’m not hungry. _

“You’ve got to eat something Nicole.”

_ Maybe when I get home. _

Gerard sighed. “Okay then.”

_ Thanks. _

Lindsey served up breakfast and sat with Bandit.

“I hope Mom and Dad are okay…” Kaitlyn murmured. 

“They should be. Sarah called me this morning.” Lindsey said.

“What did she say?”

“She said that she’s fine and Brendon’s just having an emergency therapy session since he got a bit out of hand last night.”

I grimaced. 

“It should be fine though.”

“Yeah…” Kaitlyn murmured. 

“She’s gonna pick you, Nicole up after she gets Brendon. But Kaitlyn, Gerard’s going to drop you at school so you aren’t late.”

I frowned.  _ Why aren't I going to school too? _

“I sadly have no spare clothes for either of you…”

“That's okay.” Kaitlyn shrugged. 

_ Again, why aren't I going to school? _

Lindsey shrugged. “Just doing what Sarah said.”

I sighed.  _ Alright.  _

“Daddy! I’m bored!” Bandit whined.

“Mr Link will be here soon.” He sighed. “Want to come and drop Kaitlyn at school?”

“Okay!”

Kaitlyn quickly got ready and left with Gerard and Bandit.

_ Now I’m bored _ . I sighed.

Lindsey chuckled. “Go turn the TV on.”

I walked over to the lounge room, flopped onto the couch and started watching a cooking show.

Eventually Gerard got home, and Bandit sat with her tutor in the living room 

“How are you supposed to read from bumpy bits?”

“You have to feel for which bumpy bits make each letter.” He explained. “We've been over this.”

“Yeah, but, how am I supposed to know?”

“I'm teaching you.” He put a piece of paper in front of her and placed her finger on one of the letters. “Do you remember which letter this is?”

“Is it W?”

He grinned. “Yep. Now what about this one?”

“U?” She answered unsurely.

“Try again?”

“M?”

Mr Link stayed until lunchtime, when he had another house to get to. 

“Bye!” Bandit waved.

He smiled. “See you tomorrow Bandit.”

He then left the house. Lindsey served up some pasta for us all.

_ I'm not hungry.  _

“You have to eat Nicole. No question about it.”

_ I’ll eat when I get home. _

“You aren’t getting home until late.”

_ I don’t mind. _

“You’re eating Nicole.”

_ You don’t want to see me eat. It’s painful. _

“I don’t care what it looks like.”

_ Please Gerard. Please. _

“No. You’ve already skipped two meals.”

_ I’m fine. Please. It’s humiliating and I’ll do it later, I promise. _

“No, Nicole.” He said firmly.

_ Please!  _ I was annoyed the app didn’t demonstrate my urgency.

“I’m just trying to help you Nicole.”

_ I know. I just don’t need your help with this. _

“It seems like you do.”

_ I’m fine. _

“Come on Nicole.” He sighed.

_ Do you even know what happens when I eat? _

“No.”

_ I’m telling you now, you don’t want to. _

“You’re eating. I’m sorry.”

I almost felt like I was going to cry.

_ Please don’t make me do it in front of anyone. _

“You can eat in the room?”

I glumly nodded.

He took the food to the room and I sat at the desk. “Shall I leave?”

I shrugged, not even caring anymore.

“Do you promise to eat?”

I was silent.

“I’ll stay.”

I silently lifted the fork and started eating. The first time I started choking Gerard spring into action, and I had to assure him that it was okay.

_ This is why I didn’t want to eat. _

“I know, but you have to.”

I ate the rest of the plate, and handed it back with tears in my eyes.

“Thanks for that Nicole.”

_ Yeah. Fine.  _ I laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

He frowned and took the plate out.

Thankfully, he left me alone until Bandit walked in.

“Hey Nikki! You are in here...right?”

_ Yeah. _

“Okay, good.”

I was silent.

“Where are you?”

_ On the bed. Want help? _

“Yes please.”

I got up and helped her onto the bed. I laid back down and had 5 minutes of silence.

“I’m bored Nikki!”

_ I can’t help you there. _

“Will you play with me? Pleeeease?”

_ What do you wanna play? _

“Ummm…. The video game that Daddy got me?”

_ What one’s that? _

“It’s this special one that you talk to and that’s how you play!”

I sighed.  _ I don’t know Bandit. _

“Will you come watch me play? It’s super fun!”

_ Fine. _

Bandit giggled and tried to pull me out of the bed, before falling into the floor.oor. 

_ Are you okay Bandit? _

She nodded and stood up. “C-Can you show me where the door is?”

I took her hand and led her to the door.

“Thanks Nikki!”

_ No problems _

“Let’s go play games now!”

_ Okay. _

She sat in the lounge and started the game up, and I just sat and watched.

_ Are you having fun? _ I asked.

She nodded. “This is super fun!”

_ That’s good. _

Gerard walked in. “Come on Bee, time for your appointment.”

She pouted. “Fine.”

Gerard turned the game off and fixed her glasses. “Want to come Nic?”

_ Sure _ I sighed.

He smiled and helped me up, before taking Bandit out to the car.

“I don’t wanna go to this silly appointment.” She grumbled.

“If you don’t go Bee, you’re not going to be able to go anywhere.” Gerard sighed. 

“It’s silly.”

“Not really Bee.”

“It is.”

He sighed and pulled the car up. “Are you ready to walk in?”

“If you help me…”

He nodded and helped her out. She clung onto his arm rather tightly.

“I-I wanna b-be home…”

“It’s okay Bee.” He promised. “You remember how many steps until the stairs?”

“Uh….7?”

“24, remember?” He ruffled her hair. “Let’s go. One, two…”

She counted with him till they got to the steps.”

“Okay, how many steps are there Bee?”

“5!”

“Yep, let’s count. One, two…”

She got up the stairs with no trouble at all.

Gerard smiled. “Good girl. How many to the front door?”

“4?”

“Yep. See if you can do it yourself this time.” He peeled her arm off of him.

She hesitantly walked towards the door, her arms out in front of her.

“And stop!” Gerard grabbed her before she walked into the door.

“Th-thanks…” She sniffled.

“It’s okay Bee. Let’s go in.”

Bandit held Gerard’s hand as they walked into the building.

The doctor smiled and invited them into his office. It was quite a large office, but I guess that was what you needed when you were teaching kids how to walk with canes and stuff.

“Is there a seat?” Bandit asked.

Gerard helped her to the chair.

“Th-thanks…”

“It’s okay Bee.”

“I-If you say so..”

The doctor got started almost immediately, and passed Bandit a cane and got her to stand.

She was very shaky and tried to sit back down. “I-I don’t like the s-sticky thing.”

“It’s okay Bandit.” The doctor assured. “Remember how it works? We run it over the floor to see if there are any obstacles, so you know where to walk.”

She nodded and started to walk around.

“Is that a wall?” She asked, stabbing the cane at it.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” She changed direction. She wasn’t using it correctly, instead holding it like a sword and waving it in the air for walls.

“Bandit, hold it down to the ground.”

She frowned. “But how will I see the walls then?”

“Well, you hold it in front of you, so you don’t hit the walls.

“Like this?”

“Yeah, okay, that’s better.”

The doctor corrected her technique, before setting up a little obstacle course.

“Can I go yet?”

“Alright, remember, side to side, and if you hit something, walk around it.”

“Fine.” She mumbled.

Gerard looked so stressed as she began to navigate the course.

“What’s this?” She asked, repeatedly hitting some kind of box.

“An obstacle.”

“Well duh, but what is it?”

“It’s a box. But in the real world it could be anything, so you need to make sure you walk around it.”

She sighed and made her way around it, still bumping into it a few times.

Once she’d reached the end, the doctor turned her around, switched the boxes around, and told her to do it again.

“This is boring.” She mumbled.

“You have to keep practicing.” The doctor told her. 

“I can do it though!”

“You can do it in here, but what about when you go to school?”

“There’s no point in me going to school. It’s not like I can see anything!”

“That’s why you’re learning to read the little dots.”

“But they’re silly and don’t make sense!”

The doctor sighed. “Let’s go outside and have some real world practice.”

“Okay!”

The doctor watched as she used the cane to navigate herself out of the office, but ended up completely lost in the waiting room.

She actually ran into someone and froze.

“It’s okay sweetie.” The woman assured, gently turning her around. “Your Dad is that way.”

“Th-thanks…”

When Bandit made it back, she clung back onto Gerard’s arm.

“You’re doing really well Bee.”

“I-I d-don’t wanna d-do this D-Daddy!” She cried, dropping the cane to the ground.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay.”

The doctor picked the cane up and put it back in her hand. “You just need to practice Bandit. Then you’ll get better and better.”

“I-I won’t get better! I can’t do this!”

Gerard gently removed her arm. “Yes you can Bee. I’ll hold your hand at the start, okay?”

“O-Okay.”

He led her outside, and we walked around the pavement for a while. Everyone was surprised when  _ I  _ was the first to fall.

“Are you alright Nic?” Gerard asked.

I nodded and dusted myself off, before grabbing my bag and checking I hadn’t broken anything.

“You sure?”

I nodded again.

“Okay, let’s go then.”

We kept walking until we made it back to the office, and the doctor collected his cane off Bandit. “Are you still waiting on yours?”

Gerard nodded. “It shouldn’t be too much longer though.”

“That’s good.” He nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow Bandit.”

“Bye…”

Gerard carried her out to the car.

“I-I don’t like the stick thing…”

“I know Bee. But it’s the thing that you’re going to have to learn to use.”

She sniffled. “A-And then I-I ran into that l-lady!”

“It’s okay Beezle. You’re just learning.”

“B-But it was really m-mean…”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I-I just wanna see!” She cried.

Gerard sighed and got in the drivers seat. “I know. I’m sorry.”

She sat and cried.

We got back to the house and Bandit immediately ran to Lindsey.

“It’s okay sweetheart, it’s okay.” She assured.

‘I j-just wanna s-see M-Mommy!”

“Shh, I know, I know.”

“W-Why did the m-mean guy c-crash into us?!”

“I don’t know Beezle.” Lindsey sighed, wrapping her arms around her and stroking her hair.

She just kept crying.

“It’s okay Bee.” She assured.

There was a knock at the door, and Gerard went and let Sarah in.

“Hey Nic.” She smiled.

I waved slightly.

She saw Bandit and rushed to her side. Bandit flinched and burst into tears when she tried to wrap her in a hug.

“Sorry!” Sarah squeaked.

“I-Is that Aunty Sarah?”

“Yes, it’s me Bandit.”

“O-Okay…” She took a deep breath in.

“Can I hug you?”

“Y-Yeah…”

Sarah wrapped her in a hug. “Thanks Bandit.”

“Sorry for freaking out.”

“That’s okay honey. Sorry for not warning you.”

“It’s okay.” Bandit snuggled up to her.

She smiled and snuggled for a bit, before releasing. “We have to go Nic.”

“Okay…”

I handed Gerard back his iPad.

_ Thanks for letting me use this. _

“No problems Nic.”

I smiled slightly.

We went into the car and Mom started driving. “Did you have a good night?”

I nodded slightly.

“That’s good.”

We pulled up at the mall, and she led me inside, before going to the IT shop and collecting my iPad with a newly-repaired screen.

_ Thanks. _

She smiled. “No problems Nic.”

_ Why wasn’t I allowed to go to school today? _

“We’re sorting out online school.”

_ No, no, I can’t quit school now. _

“We’re gonna talk to the principal tomorrow.”

_ I can’t miss any more cross country meets or they’re not going to let me race in the big competition! _

“You can still do cross country.”

_ Not if I don’t go to the school anymore!  _

“Why do you think we’re talking to the principal?”

I frowned.  _ What if they say no? _

“Then you can go to school.”

I nodded.  _ Okay. _

“Let’s just go home.”

I nodded.

We got home and Dad wrapped me in a hug.

_ Hey. _

“Hey Nic. I missed you.”

_ Didn’t seem that way last night. _

“I know, I’m sorry. It wasn’t a great night for me.”

_ Yeah. _

“That doesn’t matter right now.”

_ I guess. _

“How can I make it up to you?”

_ I don’t know _

He frowned. “Okay then.”

“I’m going to get Kaitlyn.” Mom said.

“Okay then. Drive safe.” Dad smiled.

She smiled and left the room.

“Let’s watch a movie.”

_ Alright. _

He put on a random movie and we snuggled up.

“Are you okay Nic? You seem glum.”

_ I don't know how you can tell. It's not like I sound sad. _

“Your facial expressions and body language.”

_ Whatever. _

He sighed. “Nikki, what’s wrong?”

_ Nothing, Dad. Don’t worry. _

“You’re lying.”

_ Of course I am. That’s the only possible explanation.  _

He sighed. “I’m trying to help you.”

_ I can’t be helped. _

“Of course you can!”

_ How Dad? How? _

He looked really hurt. “Why don’t we go out for a bit, just us?”

_ Fine. _ I sighed.

He smiled and we went out to the car. He drove me to the mall and kept trying to buy me things.

_ I don’t want you to buy anything Dad. _

“But won’t you need new shoes for cross country?”

_ I don’t even know if I’m going be able to do it anymore. _

“Of course you are Nic.” He assured.

_ I literally fell over when I was walking earlier. The twitches are just too frequent. _

“You don’t when we run though.”

_ I don’t know. _

He nodded and made me try on the shoes.

_ I’ll just use my old shoes. They’ll last a bit longer. _

“These are really nice though.”

_ Yeah, but expensive. _

“They’re not that bad.” He assured.

_ Still expensive. _

“Not really.”

_ Yeah, but you’re like, rich. I’m still not used to that. _

He chuckled awkwardly and took the box to the counter.

_ Well, thanks. _

“No problem Nic.” He smiled.

_ You’re the best. _ I smiled slightly.

He grinned and passed me the bag.

We walked around for a while longer, but didn’t really buy anything.

“Want some ice cream?”

_ Yes please. _

He smiled and led me to the parlour.

“What flavour?”

_ Chocolate please. _

A little boy, no older than 4, tugged on my pants. “Are you a robot?”

I frowned.  _ No. _

“You sound like one.”

_ Great. _

His mother raced over and began apologising frantically.

_ It’s fine. _ I sighed.

Dad handed me my ice cream and we sat down outside. 

_ That sucked. _ I frowned.

He nodded. “Sorry Nic.”

_ It’s not your fault _ .

He nodded. “How’s the ice cream?”

_ Good. _

“That’s good.” He smiled.

I nodded.

After ice cream, he walked me around the shops for a while longer, still trying to buy me things.

_ I don’t need anything Dad. _

“I know. But I’m sure you want  _ something! _ ”

_ Not really. I can’t have what I want. _

He swung our hands back and forth. “What’s that?”

_ Stuff you can’t buy _

“Like?”

_ Like not having this stupid disease, and not dying. _

He was silent for a little bit. “Remember a little while ago when you said you’d found a trial for a new treatment?”

_ Yeah? _

“Do you want to look into that?”

_ I don’t know. _

“We could do it, ya know.” He continued swinging our hands. “If there’s hope, we’ll take it.”

_ I don’t know. _

“Why not?”

_ It’s expensive. _

“I don’t care about the price Nic.”

_ I do. _

“I value your life over money Nic. The price doesn’t matter at all.”

_ Well I wanna do it, but the trials start like, tomorrow or something. It’s gonna be too late. _

“It’s never too late. You can go to trials, and then we’ll start, hey?”

_ I don’t know. I’m just scared. _

“I’m here.” He smiled.

_ Thanks. _

He grinned. 

_ I feel like something’s gonna go wrong at the trials though. _

“Well, I guess there’s only one way to find out. You have to go though Nic, this is important.”

_ I guess. _

He nodded. “And you have nice shoes now too.”

_ Yeah, I suppose so. But I’m gonna make a fool of myself. _

He shook his head. “If you fall, I’ll start dancing in the stands to draw the attention.”

_ Well, thanks. _

He smiled. “Ready to go home?”

_ Yeah. _

We headed out to the car and Dad drove us home. The silence was very awkward.

“So did you have fun?”

I nodded.

“That’s good.” He beamed.

We got home and I went and sat in my room to work on my autobiography.

Dad was blasting his CD all night, and I was getting a bit frustrated.

I walked out to get mad at him.

“Oh, hey Nic.” He grinned stupidly.

I slammed the player off and stormed back to my room.

“What’s wrong?”

_ Too loud. Some of us want to concentrate. _

“Sorry….”

I proceeded to close the door in his face.

The music didn’t turn back on at all after that.

I enjoyed the silence for a while until Kaitlyn came in and sat beside me.

“Hey…” She almost whispered.

_ Hey. _

“How are you?”

_ Average. You? _

“O-Okay, I guess?”

_ What’s up? _

“I think I failed the exam.”

_ I doubt it. You’re like, the smartest person I know. _

“Th-they told everyone their scores b-but didn’t tell me mine!”

_ Hmm. Maybe they just forgot. _

“W-Why would they forget?! Because I failed! I-I’m an embarrassment!”

_ You’re not an embarrassment Kaitlyn. If you want to see an embarrassment, come to cross country trials tomorrow. _

“W-Why?”

_ I’m going to make an absolute fool of myself. _

“No you w-won’t!”

_ I’m going to fall, I know it. _

“You w-won’t.” She assured. “I believe in you.”

I couldn’t help but smile slightly.

“And besides, you’re an awesome runner. You won’t even have time to fall. You’ll be too fixated.”

_ You’re the best Kaitlyn. _

“You’re better.”

_ Nope. _

“If you say so.” She giggled.

Dad walked in. “Hey girls.”

“Hey Dad….” Kaitlyn went quiet again.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay then…”

She then got up and left.

Dad turned to me. “Sorry about the music.”

_ It’s fine. Sorry for being a grump. _

“That’s okay. How’s your book thing going?”

_ Slowly. _

“Can I read it?’

_ Not now. _

“Okay. What do you want for dinner?”

_ I don’t mind. _

“Alright. Do you want to show me that thing we were talking about at the shops?”

I sighed.  _ Don’t worry about it. _

“No, I want you to show me.” He passed me his computer.

I sighed and searched it up.

He smiled at me and began reading through it.

_ It’s going to be a pain. _

“It doesn’t seem that bad.”

_ If you say so. _

After a while he ran out to talk to Sarah.

I sighed and flopped back onto the bed.

After a while, Sarah called everyone out for dinner. I sat silently as she placed a plate in front of me.

I just pushed it straight to the middle, not wanting to have to deal with the frustration that was eating.

Dad pushed it back. “You have to eat Nic.”

_ I don’t want to. _

“We know that. It doesn’t change the fact that you  _ have  _ to eat.”

_ I’m not going to. And besides, it’ll just be extra weight I have to carry into cross country. _

Kaitlyn frowned. “You made me eat. Now I’m doing the same for you.” She shoved the plate back in front of me.

I shook my head.

“Now.” She told me in a freakily scary voice that I didn’t even know she could make.

I flinched and started eating the bare minimum.

“More, Nic.”

I shook my head again.

“MORE!” Kaitlyn shouted at me.

I started tearing up and had a few more bites.

“That was uncalled for Kaitlyn.” Mom frowned.

“It’s just tough love.”

“Still, uncalled for.”

“If you say so.”

I was in tears by the end.

_ I’m done.  _ I sniffled.

“Thanks bub.” Mom smiled. “Want a drink?”

_ Yes please. _

She passed me some water, and I ended up choking on that too.

“It’s okay Nic.” She assured.

I started crying.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

_ No it’s not! I can’t even drink water normally! _

“That’s alright Nic.”

I sniffled and went to go back to my room.

“No, stay here Nic.”

I frowned.

_ Why?! _

“Because I wanna talk.”

_ About? _

“Everything and anything.”

_ That’s a bit broad. _

“I know.”

I frowned.

“Come on, sit down.”

I reluctantly sat down.

“So, let’s talk about cross country. That’s really exciting!”

_ I’m probably not even going to make the team. _

“Of course you will!”

I sighed.  _ Maybe. _

“Do you have a water bottle ready? We should make one up and put it in the freezer.

I passed her one from my school bag.

She filled it up halfway with fresh water and put it in the freezer.

_ Thanks. _

“No problem.” She assured with a smile.

I was silent, waiting for someone else to start the next conversation.

“Are you excited for it?”

_ I guess. _

“You’ll do great.”

_ Maybe. _

“I know you will.”

I forced a smile to make her happy.

“I love you Nic.”

_ I love you too Mom. _

I frowned. It sounded so cold through the mechanical voice.

She still smiled as a response.

“So Dad told me about this treatment…”

_ Yeah... _

“That sounds cool!”

_ Not really. _

“We’re going to get you into it.”

_ Well thanks. _

She smiled. “No problems.”

I paused.  _ How much does it cost again? _

“Not too much.” She shrugged.

I quickly googled it.

_ No. I’m not letting you spend that much. _

“Bit late.”

_ You could buy a house for that money! No! Get a refund! _

“We want to do this for you Nic.”

I shook my head.  _ You’re wasting your money. _

“We’re going it.”

_ What if it doesn’t work?! Then you’ve wasted 300 grand on a dead kid. Plus, it’s only going to stop the disease. Not fix what’s already broken. I just want the disease to hurry up. I’m over living like this Mom. _

“No, no you don’t!”

I huffed in annoyance and walked off.

“Nicole!” She sighed.

I kept walking.

I just heard her sniffle.

I sighed and slowly turned around.

“J-just go to your r-room if you want.” She cried.

I sighed.  _ What’s wrong? _

“Nothing, Nic…”

_ You’re lying. _

“I’m just worried.

_ Why? _

“Because I don’t want to lose you.”

I sniffled and sat down beside her.

_ I’m just worried that I’m already lost. _

“N-not fully!”

I snuggled into her silently.

_ It’s not long until I have to move into a house like Dad’s, is it? _

“I don’t know Nic.”

_ Please don’t be sad when I die Mom. I don’t want you to be sad. _

“I will be Nic…” She murmured. “I can’t not be sad. I love you too much.”

I kept willing myself not to cry, and I was failing miserably.

She was crying herself.

_ I’m sorry Mom.  _

“It’s not your fault.

_ That doesn’t mean I can’t be sorry. _

“I guess…”

We lay silently for a while.

“I don't want to lose you.” She sniffed.

_ I don’t want to be lost. _

“I love you so much Nic. Just, just remember that.”

I nodded and snuggled into her.

“Let’s just watch a movie.”

_ Okay. _

She put on a random comedy movie, that was kind of funny, and we just laid and watched.

Kaitlyn came and joined us after a while, sitting down on the other side of Mom.

“Hey bub.” Mom smiled, wrapping her arms around the both of us.

“I-I just g-got an e-email from the c-college people…”

“How’d it go?”

She just placed the computer on Mom’s lap.

“I’m sure it’s great.”

She nodded awkardly. “I d-don’t know if I w-want to go to the ceremony though…”

“Why not bub?”

“E-everyone will s-stare.” She mumbled.

“But you deserve recognition!”

“I d-don’t know M-Mom…”

Sarah read over the email. “You got a perfect score!”

“I-I...yeah?”

She grinned and wrapped Kaitlyn in a hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Th-thanks? Everyone else probably got a perfect score t-too…”

“No, no, you’re the only one!” Sarah was grinning from ear to ear. “There’s 10 medal winners, but you’re the only one with a perfect score bub!”

“I-I guess?”

I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy.

“I-I still don’t wanna go to the c-ceremony…”

“You have to go bub! You’re getting a medal!”

She frowned. “I-I don’t wanna b-bring attention to m-myself…”

‘But you worked for this Kaitlyn. You deserve it.”

“I-I guess…”

Mom nodded and put the date in her calendar.

“W-We don’t have to g-go?”

“We’re going.”

“O-okay…”

Mom smiled. “Are you excited for your birthday bub?”

“Oh…” She went quiet. “I forgot about it.”

“Tomorrow.” Mom smiled. “I thought maybe we could go out for dinner, maybe pizza? I don’t know, it’s your choice.”

She nodded unsurely.

“What’s up?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why are you sad all of a sudden?”

“As I said, I don’t know.”

Mom sighed. “Alright. What do you girls want for dinner?”

_ Nothing. _

She sighed. “You have to eat Nic.”

_ “I don’t want to.” _

“I know that.” She sighed. “Why don’t you help me cook?”

_ “Fine.” _

She led me into the kitchen and let me choose the recipe, before we began. It was okay, before I found myself getting rather confused with everything going on.

“Did you measure out the oil?”

“I-I!” I panicked, rushing over.

“What’s wrong Nic?”

_ I can’t keep up. There’s too much going on. _

She frowned. “We’ve made this at least 10 times.”

_ That’s why I’m panicking. _

“Well, just, get a drink of water and sit down for a bit while I finish up.”

I shook my head.  _ I can keep trying? _

“If you want.”

I managed to finish the meal by just focusing on one job at a time, and I was thankful that nothing was burnt and it tasted alright. I wasn’t excited to eat it though.

Mom sat beside me, and Dad sat across. They were both constantly glancing at me.

About halfway through the meal I gave up and tried to give it to the dog.

“No, Nicole, you have to eat.” Mom said. Dad locked the dogs outside.

I sighed and rested my head on the table in protest.

“Please Nic.”

I groaned slightly.

“Please?”

I ate another bite.

“That’s good, just keep going.”

I glared at her as I finished the plate.

“Thank you Nic.”

_ This is torture, you realise? _

“I know, I’m sorry.” She sighed.

I just sighed.

“It’s over now though.”

_ Yeah. I’m going to bed. _

“Goodnight Nicole.”

_ Goodnight Mom and Dad and Kaitlyn. _

They all smiled and waved as I left.

I sat down on my bed, closed the door, got into my pyjamas, and worked on my autobiography well into the early hours of the morning.


	40. Chapter 39

******* Brendon’s Point of View *******

“What do you want for your birthday Kaitlyn?”

“Nothing.” She answered simply.

“Of course we have to get you something little worm.”

She shook her head. “I don’t care.”

“Okay. We’ll get you something cool.”

“If you so.” She murmured.

Sarah passed us dinner. “Here.”

“Thanks.” I smiled.

Nicole gulped and looked up at Sarah. We had started to experience some of the eating and swallowing problems the doctors had warned us about, and Nicole was starting to dread mealtimes.

Sarah sat beside her and tried to encourage her to start eating.

She did so, choking on every 3rd bite or so.

“You’re doing so well.”

She sniffled, and just kept eating. She didn’t talk much anymore.

We had all finished and it was just Nicole and Sarah sitting at the table now. Nicole was crying and choking.

“That’s it bub. You’re doing so well.” Sarah gently rubbed her shoulder.

She just put the fork down, buried her face in her arms and sobbed.

Sarah sighed silently and tried to comfort her.

Her tears just deepened.

“Wanna play Xbox with me Nikki?” I asked.

She shook her head.

“You sure?”

“I-I don’t know…” She whispered.

I passed her a controller. “Come on, come play with me.”

She sniffled and sat beside me.

I put Forza in, and she beat me like 5 times in a row, but didn’t seem any better.

“I-I’m going to bed.”

“It’s only 7:30 Nic.”

She shrugged and trudged to her room, but her leg twitched and she fell.

I rushed to help her up, but she moved away from my touch and pulled herself up.

She then just raced off into her room and closed the door behind her.

Sarah and I looked at each other, before following her.

When we went in, she was curled up in her bed crying.

“Shh. It’s okay Nic.” Sarah sat down and started stroking her hair.

“I-I can’t do anything!”

“That’s not true bub. You just beat your Dad like heaps at the Xbox.”

“That doesn’t matter!”

“Of course it matters!”

“No it doesn’t!” She cried.

Sarah pulled her into a hug. “Nic, it doesn’t matter if you have some problems with some things. You’re still an amazing person.”

“I’m useless!”

“No, no, that’s not true at all.”

“Yes it is!” She wailed.

“No, it’s not. I mean, just look at this.” Sarah lifted her notepad. “You never told us you were a poet.”

“That’s cause I’m not.” She sniffled.

“Look at this! This is incredible Nic!”

“I-It’s okay…”

The handwriting was terrible, but I was able to read it just. “This is so much better than anything I write Nic.”

“N-No it’s not. Y-You’re famous for a r-reason…”

“Ryan wrote all our songs for the first two albums. I was never the lyricist.”

She just shrugged. “Y-You can use i-it if you w-want.”

I shook my head. “That’s plagiarism.”

“O-Okay….”

“Also, Gerard’s invited us all to dinner tomorrow.” Sarah sighed. “Bandit wants people to talk to, but she’s not ready for the outside world yet. Apparently Gee’s had to take her in for a concussion about 3 times from bumping into things.”

I frowned. “That sucks.”

Sarah nodded.

“Oh well.” I murmured.

“I w-want to write an a-autobiography.” Nicole sniffled. “S-So all m-my memories a-are there when I’m g-gone.”

“Oh..um...okay..”

She nodded silently.

“Do you want us to leave you alone?”

She nodded and grabbed her iPad, switching to the communication app she’d had to download.  _ Yeah, I just need some time. _

We nodded and left the room.

Sarah took my hand. “We’re going to get through this.”

“I hope so.” I breathed.

We sat down to watch a movie with Kaitlyn, and we all just sat together until it was time for bed.

******* Nicole’s Point of View *******

“Which do you think is a better title? “The short life of Nicole Urie” or “Just Another Brick in the Wall”?” I asked everyone on the way to the Way household.

They all just shrugged.

I sighed. “Short life of Nicole Urie it is.”

The car returned to silence.

We reached the house and Dad knocked on the door. Bandit came running towards us, but instead crashed straight into the wall next to the door at full speed.

She fell down and rubbed her head.

Gerard scooped her up. “Are you okay Bee?”

She nodded unsurely.

“Uncle Bren and Aunty Sarah are here.” He smiled.

“Can I have cuddles?”

He nodded and passed Bandit to me. A pair of dark sunglasses were sitting on the bridge of her nose, making her newfound blindness more obvious.

“I like your cuddles.” She smiled.

I smiled. “I like yours too Bee.”

“You guys are the best.”

Gerard led us through to the lounge and we all sat down. I pulled my iPad back out and kept working.

“What are you doing Nic?” Gerard asked.

“I’m writing an autobiography.” I murmured.

“Interesting.”

I nodded silently, not wanting to engage in any conversation which would distract me.

Bandit kept running around and running into things. I was surprised she hadn’t seriously hurt herself yet.

Gerard pulled her onto his lap. “Bee, what did I tell you about running?”

She frowned. “I’m bored Daddy!”

“Dinner’s almost ready.” He assured.

“Fine.” She mumbled.

He sighed and noticed the bruise on her forehead. “When’d you hit your head Bee?”

“When Uncle Bren got here.” She mumbled.

He sighed and fetched the first aid kit, before plastering a band-aid onto her forehead. “There. All better.”

“Thanks Daddy.”

He smiled sadly. “Go see your Mom, okay? Remember what I told you about holding the wall so you know where you’re going?”

She nodded and felt her way all the way to where Lindsey was.

“How has everything been going with her?” Brendon asked.

Gerard just sighed.

“Not great, then?”

“Not at all. She’s not coping at all. We have a tutor come to the house to teach her braille, but she’s not very good at all, and can hardly recognise a single letter. And then we have these appointments so she can learn to use a cane thing, and they have one at the place, but the one I ordered online hasn’t come yet, so Lindsey and I are just always on our toes. It’s really stressful.”

“That sucks. Can we help at all?”

“I don’t think so. We’re both just going to take some time off work until she gets everything under control.”

Brendon nodded. “If you think of anything, just tell us.”

He nodded. “Dinner’s almost ready, want to come sit down?”

I froze. “I-I’m not h-hungry.”

Sarah sighed. “Come on Nic.”

I shook my head wildly.

“It’ll be fine.”

“Y-You know it won’t!”

“We’ll get through it.”

I ran and locked myself in the bathroom. 

“Nicole!” Sarah sighed.

“I-I’m n-not…” More tears welled to my eyes as my speech started playing up again.

“It’s okay Nic. At least let me in.”

I debated for a while before unlocking the door.

“Thanks bub.” She smiled sadly.

I sniffled and slumped on the floor.

“I know it sucks. I’m really sorry.”

I flicked to the other app.  _ Yeah. _

“I won’t try and make you eat.”

_ Thanks. _

“No problem Nic. I think you just need a moment to chill.”

_ Yeah.  _ I sighed.

“Wanna go out or just stay here?”

I shrugged.

“We’ll stay here.”

We stayed still until Brendon started calling for us.

Sarah went out to see what was going on.

“Do you want cake Nic?”

_ No thanks. _

“Come sit out with us anyway bub? Bandit’s wondering where you are.”

I frowned and hesitantly pulled myself up.

Sarah smiled, and we started walking out to the kitchen. I made it halfway, before my leg twitched, and I tumbled to the ground. My iPad fell out of my arms, and actually  _ bounced  _ before landing on the tiled floor with a  _ smash. _

“Okay, it’s okay.” Sarah assured, helping me up.

I scrambled to pick up my iPad, which was now showing up all different colours and smashed in about 100 different places.

“We’ll get you a new one.”

I just started crying. I had no means of communication. My voice wouldn’t work, my hands twitched too much to write, and now my iPad was gone.  _ Great. _

“It’s okay Nic.” She assured.

I walked back to the bathroom and locked the door again.

I heard Sarah and Brendon start arguing.

I just cried. I was glad my sobs blocked them out.

There were a bunch of knocks at the door.

“We’re leaving Nicole.” Brendon said. “Come on.”

I didn’t take much note of it, because he still seemed mad. There was a lot more door-slamming and yelling to come. Eventually, Brendon and Sarah had left and Gerard knocked on the door.

I reluctantly unlocked it.

“Hey Nicole.” He smiled slightly.

I waved, as that was all I could really do.

He handed me another iPad, with a huge, life-proof case on. He’d even installed the apps I’d been using on it.

I smiled.  _ You’re the best. _

He chuckled. “Not really.”

_ Yeah you are. Thanks. _

He smiled. “It’s no problem Nicole.”

I nodded slightly.  _ What was up with my parents? _

“They’re just stressed. I don’t know. But you and Kaitlyn are having a bit of a sleepover here for tonight.”

_ Oh, okay. Thanks. _

“It’s fine.” He assured. “Are you tired?”

I nodded.

“Well let’s get you to bed. Kaitlyn’s already asleep.”

_ Thanks. _

He smiled and lead me to the guest bedroom. There were some blankets and pillows already on the bed.

_ Thank Gerard.  _ I winced at how the computer pronounced his name.

He giggled. “No problem Nicole.”

I gave him a hug before I headed to bed.

He smiled and turned the lights off as he left.

\--------------------------

“N-Nikki? I-Is that you?”

“Yeah? What’s up?” I murmured.

“I-I had a n-nightmare.” Bandit whispered, climbing onto my bed. “A-And I d-don’t r-remember the w-way to M-Mommy and D-Daddy’s room.”

“That’s okay. You can stay here with me.”

“T-Thanks…” She murmured. “A-Am I next to the bed?”

“Yep. Want some help?”

She nodded.

I helped her onto the bed and wrapped my arms around her.

She smiled slightly. “Thanks Nikki. Is it still dark outside?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“O-Okay.” She murmured sleepily. “Goodnight Nikki.”

“Goodnight Bee.” I hugged them tight.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

“Wake up Nicole, and Bee.” Gerard smiled, opening up the curtains.

I groaned and rolled over.

“Come on girls.”

He helped Bandit off the bed. 

I reluctantly pulled myself out of bed and grabbed Gerard’s iPad, before following them out to the kitchen where Lindsey was making waffles.

Kaitlyn was already wide awake and dressed.

“Hey Mom!” Bandit grinned, going to hug her but accidently walking straight into the cabinet.

“Are you alright Bee?” Lindsey asked.

She rubbed her nose. “I-Is it b-bleeding Mom?”

“Ooo, yeah. I’ll get a tissue, give me a moment.”

Bandit didn’t move, probably out of fear of walking into something else.

Lindsey came back and held a tissue to her nose.

“T-Thanks M-Mommy.”

“No problem. We’ve got waffles for breakfast today. How does that sound?”

Bandit smiled and nodded. I fumbled with the iPad.  _ I’m not hungry. _

“You’ve got to eat something Nicole.”

_ Maybe when I get home. _

Gerard sighed. “Okay then.”

_ Thanks. _

Lindsey served up breakfast and sat with Bandit.

“I hope Mom and Dad are okay…” Kaitlyn murmured. 

“They should be. Sarah called me this morning.” Lindsey said.

“What did she say?”

“She said that she’s fine and Brendon’s just having an emergency therapy session since he got a bit out of hand last night.”

I grimaced. 

“It should be fine though.”

“Yeah…” Kaitlyn murmured. 

“She’s gonna pick you, Nicole up after she gets Brendon. But Kaitlyn, Gerard’s going to drop you at school so you aren’t late.”

I frowned.  _ Why aren't I going to school too? _

“I sadly have no spare clothes for either of you…”

“That's okay.” Kaitlyn shrugged. 

_ Again, why aren't I going to school? _

Lindsey shrugged. “Just doing what Sarah said.”

I sighed.  _ Alright.  _

“Daddy! I’m bored!” Bandit whined.

“Mr Link will be here soon.” He sighed. “Want to come and drop Kaitlyn at school?”

“Okay!”

Kaitlyn quickly got ready and left with Gerard and Bandit.

_ Now I’m bored _ . I sighed.

Lindsey chuckled. “Go turn the TV on.”

I walked over to the lounge room, flopped onto the couch and started watching a cooking show.

Eventually Gerard got home, and Bandit sat with her tutor in the living room 

“How are you supposed to read from bumpy bits?”

“You have to feel for which bumpy bits make each letter.” He explained. “We've been over this.”

“Yeah, but, how am I supposed to know?”

“I'm teaching you.” He put a piece of paper in front of her and placed her finger on one of the letters. “Do you remember which letter this is?”

“Is it W?”

He grinned. “Yep. Now what about this one?”

“U?” She answered unsurely.

“Try again?”

“M?”

Mr Link stayed until lunchtime, when he had another house to get to. 

“Bye!” Bandit waved.

He smiled. “See you tomorrow Bandit.”

He then left the house. Lindsey served up some pasta for us all.

_ I'm not hungry.  _

“You have to eat Nicole. No question about it.”

_ I’ll eat when I get home. _

“You aren’t getting home until late.”

_ I don’t mind. _

“You’re eating Nicole.”

_ You don’t want to see me eat. It’s painful. _

“I don’t care what it looks like.”

_ Please Gerard. Please. _

“No. You’ve already skipped two meals.”

_ I’m fine. Please. It’s humiliating and I’ll do it later, I promise. _

“No, Nicole.” He said firmly.

_ Please!  _ I was annoyed the app didn’t demonstrate my urgency.

“I’m just trying to help you Nicole.”

_ I know. I just don’t need your help with this. _

“It seems like you do.”

_ I’m fine. _

“Come on Nicole.” He sighed.

_ Do you even know what happens when I eat? _

“No.”

_ I’m telling you now, you don’t want to. _

“You’re eating. I’m sorry.”

I almost felt like I was going to cry.

_ Please don’t make me do it in front of anyone. _

“You can eat in the room?”

I glumly nodded.

He took the food to the room and I sat at the desk. “Shall I leave?”

I shrugged, not even caring anymore.

“Do you promise to eat?”

I was silent.

“I’ll stay.”

I silently lifted the fork and started eating. The first time I started choking Gerard spring into action, and I had to assure him that it was okay.

_ This is why I didn’t want to eat. _

“I know, but you have to.”

I ate the rest of the plate, and handed it back with tears in my eyes.

“Thanks for that Nicole.”

_ Yeah. Fine.  _ I laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

He frowned and took the plate out.

Thankfully, he left me alone until Bandit walked in.

“Hey Nikki! You are in here...right?”

_ Yeah. _

“Okay, good.”

I was silent.

“Where are you?”

_ On the bed. Want help? _

“Yes please.”

I got up and helped her onto the bed. I laid back down and had 5 minutes of silence.

“I’m bored Nikki!”

_ I can’t help you there. _

“Will you play with me? Pleeeease?”

_ What do you wanna play? _

“Ummm…. The video game that Daddy got me?”

_ What one’s that? _

“It’s this special one that you talk to and that’s how you play!”

I sighed.  _ I don’t know Bandit. _

“Will you come watch me play? It’s super fun!”

_ Fine. _

Bandit giggled and tried to pull me out of the bed, before falling into the floor.oor. 

_ Are you okay Bandit? _

She nodded and stood up. “C-Can you show me where the door is?”

I took her hand and led her to the door.

“Thanks Nikki!”

_ No problems _

“Let’s go play games now!”

_ Okay. _

She sat in the lounge and started the game up, and I just sat and watched.

_ Are you having fun? _ I asked.

She nodded. “This is super fun!”

_ That’s good. _

Gerard walked in. “Come on Bee, time for your appointment.”

She pouted. “Fine.”

Gerard turned the game off and fixed her glasses. “Want to come Nic?”

_ Sure _ I sighed.

He smiled and helped me up, before taking Bandit out to the car.

“I don’t wanna go to this silly appointment.” She grumbled.

“If you don’t go Bee, you’re not going to be able to go anywhere.” Gerard sighed. 

“It’s silly.”

“Not really Bee.”

“It is.”

He sighed and pulled the car up. “Are you ready to walk in?”

“If you help me…”

He nodded and helped her out. She clung onto his arm rather tightly.

“I-I wanna b-be home…”

“It’s okay Bee.” He promised. “You remember how many steps until the stairs?”

“Uh….7?”

“24, remember?” He ruffled her hair. “Let’s go. One, two…”

She counted with him till they got to the steps.”

“Okay, how many steps are there Bee?”

“5!”

“Yep, let’s count. One, two…”

She got up the stairs with no trouble at all.

Gerard smiled. “Good girl. How many to the front door?”

“4?”

“Yep. See if you can do it yourself this time.” He peeled her arm off of him.

She hesitantly walked towards the door, her arms out in front of her.

“And stop!” Gerard grabbed her before she walked into the door.

“Th-thanks…” She sniffled.

“It’s okay Bee. Let’s go in.”

Bandit held Gerard’s hand as they walked into the building.

The doctor smiled and invited them into his office. It was quite a large office, but I guess that was what you needed when you were teaching kids how to walk with canes and stuff.

“Is there a seat?” Bandit asked.

Gerard helped her to the chair.

“Th-thanks…”

“It’s okay Bee.”

“I-If you say so..”

The doctor got started almost immediately, and passed Bandit a cane and got her to stand.

She was very shaky and tried to sit back down. “I-I don’t like the s-sticky thing.”

“It’s okay Bandit.” The doctor assured. “Remember how it works? We run it over the floor to see if there are any obstacles, so you know where to walk.”

She nodded and started to walk around.

“Is that a wall?” She asked, stabbing the cane at it.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” She changed direction. She wasn’t using it correctly, instead holding it like a sword and waving it in the air for walls.

“Bandit, hold it down to the ground.”

She frowned. “But how will I see the walls then?”

“Well, you hold it in front of you, so you don’t hit the walls.

“Like this?”

“Yeah, okay, that’s better.”

The doctor corrected her technique, before setting up a little obstacle course.

“Can I go yet?”

“Alright, remember, side to side, and if you hit something, walk around it.”

“Fine.” She mumbled.

Gerard looked so stressed as she began to navigate the course.

“What’s this?” She asked, repeatedly hitting some kind of box.

“An obstacle.”

“Well duh, but what is it?”

“It’s a box. But in the real world it could be anything, so you need to make sure you walk around it.”

She sighed and made her way around it, still bumping into it a few times.

Once she’d reached the end, the doctor turned her around, switched the boxes around, and told her to do it again.

“This is boring.” She mumbled.

“You have to keep practicing.” The doctor told her. 

“I can do it though!”

“You can do it in here, but what about when you go to school?”

“There’s no point in me going to school. It’s not like I can see anything!”

“That’s why you’re learning to read the little dots.”

“But they’re silly and don’t make sense!”

The doctor sighed. “Let’s go outside and have some real world practice.”

“Okay!”

The doctor watched as she used the cane to navigate herself out of the office, but ended up completely lost in the waiting room.

She actually ran into someone and froze.

“It’s okay sweetie.” The woman assured, gently turning her around. “Your Dad is that way.”

“Th-thanks…”

When Bandit made it back, she clung back onto Gerard’s arm.

“You’re doing really well Bee.”

“I-I d-don’t wanna d-do this D-Daddy!” She cried, dropping the cane to the ground.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay.”

The doctor picked the cane up and put it back in her hand. “You just need to practice Bandit. Then you’ll get better and better.”

“I-I won’t get better! I can’t do this!”

Gerard gently removed her arm. “Yes you can Bee. I’ll hold your hand at the start, okay?”

“O-Okay.”

He led her outside, and we walked around the pavement for a while. Everyone was surprised when  _ I  _ was the first to fall.

“Are you alright Nic?” Gerard asked.

I nodded and dusted myself off, before grabbing my bag and checking I hadn’t broken anything.

“You sure?”

I nodded again.

“Okay, let’s go then.”

We kept walking until we made it back to the office, and the doctor collected his cane off Bandit. “Are you still waiting on yours?”

Gerard nodded. “It shouldn’t be too much longer though.”

“That’s good.” He nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow Bandit.”

“Bye…”

Gerard carried her out to the car.

“I-I don’t like the stick thing…”

“I know Bee. But it’s the thing that you’re going to have to learn to use.”

She sniffled. “A-And then I-I ran into that l-lady!”

“It’s okay Beezle. You’re just learning.”

“B-But it was really m-mean…”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I-I just wanna see!” She cried.

Gerard sighed and got in the drivers seat. “I know. I’m sorry.”

She sat and cried.

We got back to the house and Bandit immediately ran to Lindsey.

“It’s okay sweetheart, it’s okay.” She assured.

‘I j-just wanna s-see M-Mommy!”

“Shh, I know, I know.”

“W-Why did the m-mean guy c-crash into us?!”

“I don’t know Beezle.” Lindsey sighed, wrapping her arms around her and stroking her hair.

She just kept crying.

“It’s okay Bee.” She assured.

There was a knock at the door, and Gerard went and let Sarah in.

“Hey Nic.” She smiled.

I waved slightly.

She saw Bandit and rushed to her side. Bandit flinched and burst into tears when she tried to wrap her in a hug.

“Sorry!” Sarah squeaked.

“I-Is that Aunty Sarah?”

“Yes, it’s me Bandit.”

“O-Okay…” She took a deep breath in.

“Can I hug you?”

“Y-Yeah…”

Sarah wrapped her in a hug. “Thanks Bandit.”

“Sorry for freaking out.”

“That’s okay honey. Sorry for not warning you.”

“It’s okay.” Bandit snuggled up to her.

She smiled and snuggled for a bit, before releasing. “We have to go Nic.”

“Okay…”

I handed Gerard back his iPad.

_ Thanks for letting me use this. _

“No problems Nic.”

I smiled slightly.

We went into the car and Mom started driving. “Did you have a good night?”

I nodded slightly.

“That’s good.”

We pulled up at the mall, and she led me inside, before going to the IT shop and collecting my iPad with a newly-repaired screen.

_ Thanks. _

She smiled. “No problems Nic.”

_ Why wasn’t I allowed to go to school today? _

“We’re sorting out online school.”

_ No, no, I can’t quit school now. _

“We’re gonna talk to the principal tomorrow.”

_ I can’t miss any more cross country meets or they’re not going to let me race in the big competition! _

“You can still do cross country.”

_ Not if I don’t go to the school anymore!  _

“Why do you think we’re talking to the principal?”

I frowned.  _ What if they say no? _

“Then you can go to school.”

I nodded.  _ Okay. _

“Let’s just go home.”

I nodded.

We got home and Dad wrapped me in a hug.

_ Hey. _

“Hey Nic. I missed you.”

_ Didn’t seem that way last night. _

“I know, I’m sorry. It wasn’t a great night for me.”

_ Yeah. _

“That doesn’t matter right now.”

_ I guess. _

“How can I make it up to you?”

_ I don’t know _

He frowned. “Okay then.”

“I’m going to get Kaitlyn.” Mom said.

“Okay then. Drive safe.” Dad smiled.

She smiled and left the room.

“Let’s watch a movie.”

_ Alright. _

He put on a random movie and we snuggled up.

“Are you okay Nic? You seem glum.”

_ I don't know how you can tell. It's not like I sound sad. _

“Your facial expressions and body language.”

_ Whatever. _

He sighed. “Nikki, what’s wrong?”

_ Nothing, Dad. Don’t worry. _

“You’re lying.”

_ Of course I am. That’s the only possible explanation.  _

He sighed. “I’m trying to help you.”

_ I can’t be helped. _

“Of course you can!”

_ How Dad? How? _

He looked really hurt. “Why don’t we go out for a bit, just us?”

_ Fine. _ I sighed.

He smiled and we went out to the car. He drove me to the mall and kept trying to buy me things.

_ I don’t want you to buy anything Dad. _

“But won’t you need new shoes for cross country?”

_ I don’t even know if I’m going be able to do it anymore. _

“Of course you are Nic.” He assured.

_ I literally fell over when I was walking earlier. The twitches are just too frequent. _

“You don’t when we run though.”

_ I don’t know. _

He nodded and made me try on the shoes.

_ I’ll just use my old shoes. They’ll last a bit longer. _

“These are really nice though.”

_ Yeah, but expensive. _

“They’re not that bad.” He assured.

_ Still expensive. _

“Not really.”

_ Yeah, but you’re like, rich. I’m still not used to that. _

He chuckled awkwardly and took the box to the counter.

_ Well, thanks. _

“No problem Nic.” He smiled.

_ You’re the best. _ I smiled slightly.

He grinned and passed me the bag.

We walked around for a while longer, but didn’t really buy anything.

“Want some ice cream?”

_ Yes please. _

He smiled and led me to the parlour.

“What flavour?”

_ Chocolate please. _

A little boy, no older than 4, tugged on my pants. “Are you a robot?”

I frowned.  _ No. _

“You sound like one.”

_ Great. _

His mother raced over and began apologising frantically.

_ It’s fine. _ I sighed.

Dad handed me my ice cream and we sat down outside. 

_ That sucked. _ I frowned.

He nodded. “Sorry Nic.”

_ It’s not your fault _ .

He nodded. “How’s the ice cream?”

_ Good. _

“That’s good.” He smiled.

I nodded.

After ice cream, he walked me around the shops for a while longer, still trying to buy me things.

_ I don’t need anything Dad. _

“I know. But I’m sure you want  _ something! _ ”

_ Not really. I can’t have what I want. _

He swung our hands back and forth. “What’s that?”

_ Stuff you can’t buy _

“Like?”

_ Like not having this stupid disease, and not dying. _

He was silent for a little bit. “Remember a little while ago when you said you’d found a trial for a new treatment?”

_ Yeah? _

“Do you want to look into that?”

_ I don’t know. _

“We could do it, ya know.” He continued swinging our hands. “If there’s hope, we’ll take it.”

_ I don’t know. _

“Why not?”

_ It’s expensive. _

“I don’t care about the price Nic.”

_ I do. _

“I value your life over money Nic. The price doesn’t matter at all.”

_ Well I wanna do it, but the trials start like, tomorrow or something. It’s gonna be too late. _

“It’s never too late. You can go to trials, and then we’ll start, hey?”

_ I don’t know. I’m just scared. _

“I’m here.” He smiled.

_ Thanks. _

He grinned. 

_ I feel like something’s gonna go wrong at the trials though. _

“Well, I guess there’s only one way to find out. You have to go though Nic, this is important.”

_ I guess. _

He nodded. “And you have nice shoes now too.”

_ Yeah, I suppose so. But I’m gonna make a fool of myself. _

He shook his head. “If you fall, I’ll start dancing in the stands to draw the attention.”

_ Well, thanks. _

He smiled. “Ready to go home?”

_ Yeah. _

We headed out to the car and Dad drove us home. The silence was very awkward.

“So did you have fun?”

I nodded.

“That’s good.” He beamed.

We got home and I went and sat in my room to work on my autobiography.

Dad was blasting his CD all night, and I was getting a bit frustrated.

I walked out to get mad at him.

“Oh, hey Nic.” He grinned stupidly.

I slammed the player off and stormed back to my room.

“What’s wrong?”

_ Too loud. Some of us want to concentrate. _

“Sorry….”

I proceeded to close the door in his face.

The music didn’t turn back on at all after that.

I enjoyed the silence for a while until Kaitlyn came in and sat beside me.

“Hey…” She almost whispered.

_ Hey. _

“How are you?”

_ Average. You? _

“O-Okay, I guess?”

_ What’s up? _

“I think I failed the exam.”

_ I doubt it. You’re like, the smartest person I know. _

“Th-they told everyone their scores b-but didn’t tell me mine!”

_ Hmm. Maybe they just forgot. _

“W-Why would they forget?! Because I failed! I-I’m an embarrassment!”

_ You’re not an embarrassment Kaitlyn. If you want to see an embarrassment, come to cross country trials tomorrow. _

“W-Why?”

_ I’m going to make an absolute fool of myself. _

“No you w-won’t!”

_ I’m going to fall, I know it. _

“You w-won’t.” She assured. “I believe in you.”

I couldn’t help but smile slightly.

“And besides, you’re an awesome runner. You won’t even have time to fall. You’ll be too fixated.”

_ You’re the best Kaitlyn. _

“You’re better.”

_ Nope. _

“If you say so.” She giggled.

Dad walked in. “Hey girls.”

“Hey Dad….” Kaitlyn went quiet again.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay then…”

She then got up and left.

Dad turned to me. “Sorry about the music.”

_ It’s fine. Sorry for being a grump. _

“That’s okay. How’s your book thing going?”

_ Slowly. _

“Can I read it?’

_ Not now. _

“Okay. What do you want for dinner?”

_ I don’t mind. _

“Alright. Do you want to show me that thing we were talking about at the shops?”

I sighed.  _ Don’t worry about it. _

“No, I want you to show me.” He passed me his computer.

I sighed and searched it up.

He smiled at me and began reading through it.

_ It’s going to be a pain. _

“It doesn’t seem that bad.”

_ If you say so. _

After a while he ran out to talk to Sarah.

I sighed and flopped back onto the bed.

After a while, Sarah called everyone out for dinner. I sat silently as she placed a plate in front of me.

I just pushed it straight to the middle, not wanting to have to deal with the frustration that was eating.

Dad pushed it back. “You have to eat Nic.”

_ I don’t want to. _

“We know that. It doesn’t change the fact that you  _ have  _ to eat.”

_ I’m not going to. And besides, it’ll just be extra weight I have to carry into cross country. _

Kaitlyn frowned. “You made me eat. Now I’m doing the same for you.” She shoved the plate back in front of me.

I shook my head.

“Now.” She told me in a freakily scary voice that I didn’t even know she could make.

I flinched and started eating the bare minimum.

“More, Nic.”

I shook my head again.

“MORE!” Kaitlyn shouted at me.

I started tearing up and had a few more bites.

“That was uncalled for Kaitlyn.” Mom frowned.

“It’s just tough love.”

“Still, uncalled for.”

“If you say so.”

I was in tears by the end.

_ I’m done.  _ I sniffled.

“Thanks bub.” Mom smiled. “Want a drink?”

_ Yes please. _

She passed me some water, and I ended up choking on that too.

“It’s okay Nic.” She assured.

I started crying.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

_ No it’s not! I can’t even drink water normally! _

“That’s alright Nic.”

I sniffled and went to go back to my room.

“No, stay here Nic.”

I frowned.

_ Why?! _

“Because I wanna talk.”

_ About? _

“Everything and anything.”

_ That’s a bit broad. _

“I know.”

I frowned.

“Come on, sit down.”

I reluctantly sat down.

“So, let’s talk about cross country. That’s really exciting!”

_ I’m probably not even going to make the team. _

“Of course you will!”

I sighed.  _ Maybe. _

“Do you have a water bottle ready? We should make one up and put it in the freezer.

I passed her one from my school bag.

She filled it up halfway with fresh water and put it in the freezer.

_ Thanks. _

“No problem.” She assured with a smile.

I was silent, waiting for someone else to start the next conversation.

“Are you excited for it?”

_ I guess. _

“You’ll do great.”

_ Maybe. _

“I know you will.”

I forced a smile to make her happy.

“I love you Nic.”

_ I love you too Mom. _

I frowned. It sounded so cold through the mechanical voice.

She still smiled as a response.

“So Dad told me about this treatment…”

_ Yeah... _

“That sounds cool!”

_ Not really. _

“We’re going to get you into it.”

_ Well thanks. _

She smiled. “No problems.”

I paused.  _ How much does it cost again? _

“Not too much.” She shrugged.

I quickly googled it.

_ No. I’m not letting you spend that much. _

“Bit late.”

_ You could buy a house for that money! No! Get a refund! _

“We want to do this for you Nic.”

I shook my head.  _ You’re wasting your money. _

“We’re going it.”

_ What if it doesn’t work?! Then you’ve wasted 300 grand on a dead kid. Plus, it’s only going to stop the disease. Not fix what’s already broken. I just want the disease to hurry up. I’m over living like this Mom. _

“No, no you don’t!”

I huffed in annoyance and walked off.

“Nicole!” She sighed.

I kept walking.

I just heard her sniffle.

I sighed and slowly turned around.

“J-just go to your r-room if you want.” She cried.

I sighed.  _ What’s wrong? _

“Nothing, Nic…”

_ You’re lying. _

“I’m just worried.

_ Why? _

“Because I don’t want to lose you.”

I sniffled and sat down beside her.

_ I’m just worried that I’m already lost. _

“N-not fully!”

I snuggled into her silently.

_ It’s not long until I have to move into a house like Dad’s, is it? _

“I don’t know Nic.”

_ Please don’t be sad when I die Mom. I don’t want you to be sad. _

“I will be Nic…” She murmured. “I can’t not be sad. I love you too much.”

I kept willing myself not to cry, and I was failing miserably.

She was crying herself.

_ I’m sorry Mom.  _

“It’s not your fault.

_ That doesn’t mean I can’t be sorry. _

“I guess…”

We lay silently for a while.

“I don't want to lose you.” She sniffed.

_ I don’t want to be lost. _

“I love you so much Nic. Just, just remember that.”

I nodded and snuggled into her.

“Let’s just watch a movie.”

_ Okay. _

She put on a random comedy movie, that was kind of funny, and we just laid and watched.

Kaitlyn came and joined us after a while, sitting down on the other side of Mom.

“Hey bub.” Mom smiled, wrapping her arms around the both of us.

“I-I just g-got an e-email from the c-college people…”

“How’d it go?”

She just placed the computer on Mom’s lap.

“I’m sure it’s great.”

She nodded awkardly. “I d-don’t know if I w-want to go to the ceremony though…”

“Why not bub?”

“E-everyone will s-stare.” She mumbled.

“But you deserve recognition!”

“I d-don’t know M-Mom…”

Sarah read over the email. “You got a perfect score!”

“I-I...yeah?”

She grinned and wrapped Kaitlyn in a hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Th-thanks? Everyone else probably got a perfect score t-too…”

“No, no, you’re the only one!” Sarah was grinning from ear to ear. “There’s 10 medal winners, but you’re the only one with a perfect score bub!”

“I-I guess?”

I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy.

“I-I still don’t wanna go to the c-ceremony…”

“You have to go bub! You’re getting a medal!”

She frowned. “I-I don’t wanna b-bring attention to m-myself…”

‘But you worked for this Kaitlyn. You deserve it.”

“I-I guess…”

Mom nodded and put the date in her calendar.

“W-We don’t have to g-go?”

“We’re going.”

“O-okay…”

Mom smiled. “Are you excited for your birthday bub?”

“Oh…” She went quiet. “I forgot about it.”

“Tomorrow.” Mom smiled. “I thought maybe we could go out for dinner, maybe pizza? I don’t know, it’s your choice.”

She nodded unsurely.

“What’s up?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why are you sad all of a sudden?”

“As I said, I don’t know.”

Mom sighed. “Alright. What do you girls want for dinner?”

_ Nothing. _

She sighed. “You have to eat Nic.”

_ “I don’t want to.” _

“I know that.” She sighed. “Why don’t you help me cook?”

_ “Fine.” _

She led me into the kitchen and let me choose the recipe, before we began. It was okay, before I found myself getting rather confused with everything going on.

“Did you measure out the oil?”

“I-I!” I panicked, rushing over.

“What’s wrong Nic?”

_ I can’t keep up. There’s too much going on. _

She frowned. “We’ve made this at least 10 times.”

_ That’s why I’m panicking. _

“Well, just, get a drink of water and sit down for a bit while I finish up.”

I shook my head.  _ I can keep trying? _

“If you want.”

I managed to finish the meal by just focusing on one job at a time, and I was thankful that nothing was burnt and it tasted alright. I wasn’t excited to eat it though.

Mom sat beside me, and Dad sat across. They were both constantly glancing at me.

About halfway through the meal I gave up and tried to give it to the dog.

“No, Nicole, you have to eat.” Mom said. Dad locked the dogs outside.

I sighed and rested my head on the table in protest.

“Please Nic.”

I groaned slightly.

“Please?”

I ate another bite.

“That’s good, just keep going.”

I glared at her as I finished the plate.

“Thank you Nic.”

_ This is torture, you realise? _

“I know, I’m sorry.” She sighed.

I just sighed.

“It’s over now though.”

_ Yeah. I’m going to bed. _

“Goodnight Nicole.”

_ Goodnight Mom and Dad and Kaitlyn. _

They all smiled and waved as I left.

I sat down on my bed, closed the door, got into my pyjamas, and worked on my autobiography well into the early hours of the morning.


	41. Chapter 41

*****Kaitlyn’s Point Of View****

“Happy birthday Kaitlyn!” I heard Mom and Dad cheer. 

I jolted awake and was honestly terrified. The noise was so unexpected.

“W-Wha? I’m awake!”

Dad grinned and placed a party hat on my head. “Happy birthday little worm!”

“Th-thanks?”

Mom placed a tray of pancakes on the bed next to me, and Dad handed me a wrapped box.

“Oh, thanks.” I smiled.

I placed the box beside me and started eating.

Mom went to get Nicole, who was still half asleep and dozed back off as soon as she sat down.

“You guys didn’t have to do all of this…”

“We wanted to.” Dad smiled. “You deserve it.”

“O-Okay...

It was kind of awkward as they watched me eat with eager grins.

I tried to finish as soon as I could to make it a bit better.

“Now gifts!” Dad grinned.

“Oh, okay…” I murmured.

He picked the box back up and placed it in my hands with a big grin.

I hesitantly peeled away at the paper. I opened the gift slowly, a habit I’d picked up at the group home to make the gift experience last.

It was an art set, 106 acrylic colours. And this wasn’t a cheap brand either, these were  _ really  _ nice paints.

My eyes lit up, and a huge smile found itself on my face. I leapt up and wrapped them in a hug.

Sarah chuckled. “There’s more bub, don’t thank us just yet.”

“Wait, what?”

She smiled and passed me another gift.

“Wow, thanks.”

I opened at least six more, and looked around at the pile of gifts in awe. I was literally speechless.

“This, i-is, it’s so much!” I stammered, still amazed.

Dad hugged me. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.”

He proceeded to take a selfie of the three of us, before sending it to Gerard.

I was still smiling. “I love you guys.”

“We love you too.” Mom smiled. “Now get ready, because we’re going to be late for school if we don’t get ready.”

“Oh, right!” I giggled.

She woke Nicole up and they all left my room to get ready.

I quickly got changed and tried to hype myself up for the day.

My phone kept buzzing as I tried to get ready.

_ Happy birthday Kaitlyn the awesome sketcher! _

_ Happy Bday! From Dana _

_ Yo, it’s Phil. Happy birthday! _

_ Happy Birthday Kaitlyn! - Florence :) _

Each message made my smile grow.

“Kaitlyn! We have to go!” Mom called from the kitchen.

I raced out to her. “I’m here.” I panted slightly.

She smiled. “Awesome. Here’s your lunch.”

“Thanks.”

“No problems birthday girl.” She smiled.

I blushed. “Yeah, thanks…”

She turned to Nicole. “Ready for the trials today?”

_ Yeah, I guess. _

“That’s good.” She smiled. “Alright, everyone to the car!”

We all went to the car and buckled in. 

Nicole handed me a small wrapped box.  _ Sorry I didn’t get to give this to you earlier. _

“Oh, thanks Nic.”

She smiled slightly.

“Should I open it now?”

She nodded.

I once again opened the gift slowly.

I smiled slightly at the necklace. “Thanks Nic. It’s beautiful.”

_ No problems _

I smiled at her as we pulled up at the school. Mom and Dad both hugged me and wished me a happy birthday before sending me inside.

Nicole stayed with me for awhile, but had to meet with her coach during homeroom.

Mr Dennison smiled at me. “Happy Birthday.”

“Thanks.” I smiled.

He winked and I sat down.

I giggled and Byron sat beside me.

“Happy Birthday, Kaitlyn the awesome sketcher.”

“Thanks Byron.”

He grinned and passed me a wrapped box.

“What is with all these gifts?”

“It’s your birthday.” He smiled. “Everyone has to spoil you on your birthday.”

“If you say so.”

“Are you going to unwrap it?”

“Oh..yeah?”

He smiled.

I unwrapped the gift, and by now, everyone was looking at me.

It was a set of really nice sketching pencils, with a sketchbook and a block of chocolate.

“Thank you so much!” I wrapped him in a hug.

He smiled. “No problem. I figured the awesome sketcher might need something to sketch with.”

“Well, thanks.”

He grinned. “No problems.”

“You're awesome Byron.”

“I think you’re better Kaitlyn.”

“Aww, thanks.”

The bell rang and we went our separate ways. I met up with Dana, who handed me a gift bag.

“Everyone is so kind! Why do you give me gifts? It’s so weird.”

“Because it’s your birthday silly!” She smiled.

“Yeah, I guess. Just hard to get used to. It feels like I’ve gotten so much.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t really know what you wanted, so I just hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will.” I said, opening the gift bag.

She watched on anxiously.

I opened it up and there were a whole bunch of nice paintbrushes, as well as an art book, which was awesome and featured some of my favourite artists.

“Do you like it?”

I beamed and nodded, wrapping her in a hug.

She chuckled. “Good.”

“You’re the best!”

She just smiled at me and led me into Graphics.

“Happy birthday Kaitlyn.”

“Thanks.” I smiled.

“No problem.” The teacher smiled.

I grinned and sat down at my desk. This was already the best birthday of my life.

***** Nicole’s Point of View *****

I sat on the bench, beside my coach as the younger girls were warming up. 

“God, I’m terrified.” I murmured, putting my shoes on.

“You’ll do great Nicole.” 

_ I hope so… _

“Of course you will!” 

I nodded unsurely as I attempted to do the laces up.

“Are your parents gonna be here?” 

_ I think so. _

“That’s good.”

I nodded. 

“You ready to warm up?” 

_ Yeah, I think so. _

“Good. Want to head to the start?” 

I went down to the track where all the other girls were. Erin, my track friend, smiled at me nervously and gestured for me to stretch with her.

I started stretching and tried to ignore my twitching hand. It wasn’t too much of a fuss at first.

“You okay there?”

“Fine.” I grumbled.

She obviously didn’t understand me, but didn’t say anything and we went over to the track.

“Alright girls, ready…..set…...GO!” And we all started sprinting.

It didn’t take long for me to break ahead of the pack. By the time I’d finished my laps, everyone else still had one or two to go.

“Good job Nicole! Only 2 seconds off your best.”

I puffed slightly and smiled up at him.

“The other teams are arriving now.” 

The trials went all afternoon, for all the distances. I made the 100m, 200m, 400m and the mile run.

“Can 15 year olds, 800m runners make their way to the assembly point now? This is first call for 15 year old 800m.” 

I smiled at Mom and Dad nervously, before walking over.

We had to get our names marked off and we were seperated into seperate groups. There was one runner for each team in every group.

“Nicole should do it.” Erin said. “She has the fastest time in every other distance.”

_ I don’t know… _

I stared down at my IPad that I’d carried over. I’d have to find somewhere to put it if I did run, and the grandstands were ages away.

Another boy nodded. “Yeah, she should.”

I was being pushed forward and ended up being assigned to the race. I nervously handed Erin the IPad.

She smiled slightly. “You’ll do great Nic.”

I nodded unsurely.

I took my spot on a starting block and got ready to run.

“ Ready...set...GO!” The gun fired.

I started running. I was surprised at how easy it was to get ahead of everyone.

I was getting pretty confident, and my pacing was pretty good, so I started to relax.

I finished the race well before everyone else, and my coach was just grinning.

“That was great Nicole!” 

I hadn’t got my iPad back, so I just shrugged.

“You were a good choice.” 

I giggled slightly.

“You can go sit down for a bit now.”

I smiled and walked over to the grandstands after collecting my iPad. Mom and Dad wrapped me in a hug.

“You were great Nic!” 

I blushed slightly.

“Come here speedster.” Dad hugged me again.

I giggled.

“You’re so good!” Mom grinned. 

My blush grew.

Coach came over and put a hand on my shoulder. “You must be Mr and Mrs Urie.”

“Yes, we are.” Mom smiled.

He grinned. “Well, normally I don’t tell parents early, but it’s pretty obvious that Nicole has made all the teams.”

“That’s great!” Dad beamed.

He smiled and nodded. “She’s certainly a star.”

Mom nodded. “She’s very talented.”

“Extremely.” He nodded. “I’ll see you at training Nicole. Good job today.”

“Thanks.” I tried to say, before sighing.

He just smiled, before heading back to everyone else.

I picked up my IPad and rested it on my lap as I sat down.

“Well done Speedster.” Dad smiled.

_ Thanks Dad. _

He grinned.

_ I’m exhausted though _

Mom passed me my water bottle.

_ Thanks _ . I opened it up. My hand then twitched and spilt it everywhere.

Mom immediately grabbed it back and held it up so it couldn’t spill anymore. Dad passed me the sports towel.

I just put it on my lap and tried to dry myself.

“It’s okay.” Mom assured. “It’s okay.”

“I’m just incompetent.” I sighed.

After I was dry, Mom passed the water back, and I was finally able to take a sip.

_ Thanks, that was nice. _

“No problem bub.”

_ My legs are aching though. _

“You can sit with us for a while.” Dad assured, putting his arm around me.

I nodded and slumped on the seat.

Eventually I had to go back to class, so I said goodbye to Mom and Dad before heading to the lockerooms to change.

In the locker room, Lucy was there. I hoped she wouldn’t notice. She’d found out about the disease and hadn’t left me alone since. 

“Eww! The lesbian is watching me change!”

I sighed and faced the lockers.

“Leave her alone, okay? She’s not hurting anyone.”

“She’s hurting me by being here.” Lucy sneered.

I sighed and tried to get changed quickly, but the twitches made it hard. I tried hitting my hand on the locker to stop it.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Erin asked. “That’s not going to help.”

_ Sometimes it does. _ I sighed.

She shook her head. “Don’t. You could break your wrist.”

_ I only have once.  _

She just frowned at me, and went back to putting her shoes on.

I raced out of the locker room after I was changed, but tripped.

Lucy pushed me back down when I tried to get back up. “Well, isn’t this cute.”

I just started crying. I felt so weak, and I was supposed to be stronger than her.

Erin shoved her. “What is  _ wrong  _ with you?”

“I have to share this locker room with a lesbian. A crazy, dying one at that.” 

I was just quiet. I stayed sprawled out on the floor.

“So?! She’s as human as you and I. She’s never done anything to you other than be herself, so you can  _ back off  _ and stay the hell away from us or I’m going to call your father.”

“He won’t care.” 

“No, but your mother will. Say goodbye to your London holiday.”

“They won’t believe you.” 

Erin waved her phone around. “Video evidence.”

Lucy took her phone, before throwing it on the ground and stomping on it.

A teacher saw and walked over. “What is going  _ on  _ here!?”

“N-Nothing.” I sniffled, before realising I made no sense.

“Lucy pushed Nicole to the ground, I videoed and stood up for her, and then Lucy destroyed my phone.” Erin explained matter-of-factly.

“Alright, Lucy, go to the office.” She said sternly. Lucy stormed out. She bent down and helped me up. “Are you okay?” 

I nodded and grabbed my bag from the floor.

“Do you want to go to the nurse?” 

I fumbled for my iPad.  _ No, no, I’m fine. Don’t worry. _

“Are you sure?” 

I nodded.

“Okay, then. Are you good to go to your class?” 

_ Yep. _

“Okay. Have fun, and tell me if she causes any more issues.” 

I nodded and ran off to class.

I arrived halfway through the lesson and for some reason everyone cheered when I came in.

“U-Uh…”

“Congrats!” The teacher beamed.

_ For? _

“You broke the school two oldest records for track!” 

_ Really? _

The teacher nodded. “Every race you ran actually, you broke records.” 

_ That’s cool, I guess. _

“It’s awesome!” 

I nodded and sat down in my seat.

“Anyway, here's the worksheet.” She walked over and handed it to me.

I had no idea about anything that was on it, but I just smiled and nodded. 

The teacher just went through explaining it, and was already halfway through the sheet.

I scrawled down some answers and hoped I was correct. 

“Alright, you should be able to finish the rest of the sheet. If you don’t finish it this lesson, it’s homework.”

I frowned and stared at the page. I was even repeating this year, and it didn't make any sense to me. 

“If you have any questions just ask.”

I went up and placed the sheet on her desk. 

“What’s up Nicole?”

_ I don't understand.  _

“What don't you understand?”

_ All of it.  _

“Well, okay. Take a seat and we’ll go through it.”

I went to grab a seat, but tumbled over onto the floor. 

“Are you alright?”

I nodded and pulled myself up. Everyone was staring. 

“Back to work!” The teacher scolded.

Everyone went back to work and the teacher dragged the chair over for me. 

“Alright, so from the start?”

I nodded. 

For the rest of the lesson, and into lunch, she tried to explain the work to me.

_ I'm sorry miss. I just don't understand.  _

She sighed. “I don’t know how to make you get this. Most people have this knowledge from prior grades.

I looked down at my lap in embarrassment and shame. 

“It’s okay.” She assured. “We can find a teacher who is better at teaching this foundation stuff.”

_ Thanks for trying miss.  _

“No problems Nicole. Do you want me to find a teacher who can help?”

_ If it's not too much trouble... _

“If you can stay here, I can call one?”

_ Okay.  _

She smiled and picked up her phone, before calling another teacher.

The other teacher wasn't too much better. I still wasn't able to understand. 

“Is this making any sense?”

_ Not really.  _

He frowned. “Come with me.”

I reluctantly grabbed my bag and followed him. 

He took me to a room labelled the ‘Literacy and Numeracy Centre’.

_ Is this really necessary? _

“I’m just trying to help. The teachers here will be better than I will.”

_ But this is the special ed room.  _

“And?”

I felt like crying.

He opened the door to the room. It looked like a classroom that belonged in an elementary school. The walls were covered in pictures of letters and numbers, and the colour scheme almost made me feel sick to my stomach. One of the teachers got up from her desk and walked over. “Hello there.”

_ Hi. _ I sniffled.

She smiled. “Hi there. Come on in, sit down.”

I sighed and sat down at one of the purple desks.

She sat down beside me. “How are you today Nicole?”

_ I’d be better if I weren’t here. _

“We're not that bad.” She smiled. “Do you want some water?”

_ No. _

“That's alright. Let's look at this work, shall we?”

_ Fine. _

We went through it, multiple times, until something finally clicked.

“Alright, so I’ll write you a problem and you can try out this method, okay?”

_ Okay... _

She wrote out a problem on a small whiteboard and handed it to me with a marker.

I did my best to do it, but I didn’t get the correct answer.

“Okay, that’s good. You just had a mistake in your multiplication.

I looked back up.  _ Where? _

She circled a part right at the start of my working out.

I frowned.

“So look, it’s just 5 x 7, and then if you substitute the answer in and recalculate the total, you’ll be right!”

I sighed and nodded.

“So try that.”

I rubbed it out and reattempted.

“Good, that’s looking good.”

_ Can I go now? _

“No, because we’re going to work into English.”

_ Am I going to have to do all my lessons here? _

“Not all of them.”

_ Good. _

“Like, you won’t have your electives here.”

_ So what will I have here? _

“Maths, Science, English and Modern History.”

_ That’s a lot.  _ I felt like crying.

“Still less than some kids.”

_ I’m not feeling well. Can you call my Mom so I can go home? _

“In what way aren’t you feeling well?”

_ Migraine. _

“Okay, well, I have to take you down to the office.”

_ Okay. _

She carried my bag for me and walked with me to the office, where they called Mom. I had to sit in the sick room for a while, and stare at the plain walls.

“Want some aspirin honey?” The nurse asked.

_ Yes please. _

She placed some in my hand, and handed me a cup of water. However, just as I was about to drink it, my hand twitched, sending the water all over the bed, myself, and the nurse.

“Are you okay? Do you want some help?”

I didn’t say anything, just handed the empty cup back.

She frowned and got me more water.

_ Sorry. _

“No, no, it’s fine.”

I just looked down at my lap.

“Your Mom should be here soon.”

_ Thanks. _

She smiled before leaving.

I sat in silence until Mom arrived. As soon as I saw her, I wrapped her in a hug.

“Hey Nic. How are you feeling?”

I didn’t say anything, or pull away from the hug.

“Let’s go home.”

I nodded and grabbed my bag.

We went out to the car, and Dad was sitting in the passenger seat.

“Hey Nic. What’s up?”

_ Migraine.  _ I sighed.

“Aww. Well, come in. Let’s head home.”

I nodded and sat quietly in the backseat. The pain was getting worse, but I didn’t say anything.

We went home and Mom tucked me into bed.

I smiled slightly before curling up and falling asleep.

***** Brendon’s Point of View *****

“Hey little worm! How was your birthday at school?”

“It was awesome!” She smiled.

“That’s nice.” I grinned. “Are you ready for tonight?”

“Oh, yeah, I think so.”

“Ryan and co are coming over, and then we’re all going out.” I smiled.

“That’s cool.”

I nodded. “DId you get anything from your friends?”

She nodded. “Lots of stuff.”

“That’s cool.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Want to stop on the way home and get ice cream?”

“Yeah, sure.”

I stopped and bought her the biggest sundae I’d ever seen in my life.

“This is huge!”

“Happy birthday.” I grinned.

“Thanks Dad.”

We sat and ice cream before heading back to the house. 

“Thanks again Dad.” 

“No problem little worm.”

“You’re the best.” 

I chuckled. “What do you want to do until everyone gets here?”

She shrugged. “I’m not sure.” 

“Well, if you think of anything, just ask.” I smiled, sitting down on the couch to play Xbox. 

She nodded and sat beside me.

“Do you want to play?”

She shook her head. “No thanks.” 

I shrugged and started a game of forza. 

She watched me and seemed deep in thought.

“Whatcha thinking about?”

“Just the way the AI was programmed to make it easier to win.” 

“I'll pretend I understand that.” I chuckled. 

“Just, all the other cars are sort of programmed on this basis that assumes that the speed fluctuates, so when you can’t see them, after the start, they seem to be on this burst system of driving, rather than one straight speed. You only see it driving straight when it’s near you. There’s no other way it could race at the speed it is. It’s impossible.” 

“Weird.” I murmured, entering my third lap.

She nodded. “Interesting to think about though.”

“I guess.”

We played for a while, until the doorbell rang. I smiled. “That must be your Mom with Nicole.”

I raced over to the door, expecting to see my wife, but instead it was someone I really didn’t want to see.

“Hello Brendon.” Damien smiled. “Can I see Kaitlyn?”

I quickly slammed the door and took a moment to catch my breath.

He knocked again. “Brendon?”

“What’s up Dad?” Kaitlyn asked, walking over.

“D-Don’t g-go out t-there.” I stammered. “G-Go wait in y-your room for a w-while.”

I was thankful she didn’t ask any questions and just walked off silently.

When she was completely gone, I opened the door back up and glared at Damien. “What do you want?”

He smiled slightly. “I want to see my daughter. I brought her a birthday present.” He held a wrapped gift in his hands.

“She’s not your daughter.” I told him through gritted teeth. “You lost that right when you abandoned her and let her grow up in state custody.”

Damien frowned. “Brendon, please. I’m trying to make things right.”

I scoffed. “You’re 10 years too late.”

“Brendon, just let me in. Come on, she’s my kid. I want to wish her happy birthday.”

“No, Damien. Go away. She doesn’t want to see you.”

“You didn’t tell her that it was me. I want to say hi. Come on Bren, I’m not asking for much. Just a few minutes of her time.”

“No.”

“If you don’t want me here, I can take her to the cafe around the corner if you want.” He suggested. “Look, I just want to see her.”

“Like I’d let her go anywhere with  _ you. _ ”

He sighed. “What happened to us Brendon? We were best friends. You were the best man at my wedding!”

“You abandoned me and gave me post-traumatic stress disorder!”

“If you had even bothered to call I would’ve answered the phone! I wasn’t going hunting for you, but I never blocked you off. Heck, there wasn’t even a funeral!”

“Well, I wouldn’t have known that anyway! I was in the hospital!”

“Did you even check to see if there was a grave?”

“No…”

Damien sighed and pushed past me slightly. “I’m not leaving without seeing Kaitlyn. Nice place, by the way.”

I frowned and followed him with my arms folded. “10 minutes. Supervised visit.”

“That’s a bit ridiculous.”

“I don’t know you anymore Damien.”

“Of course you do Brendon. We shared a chocolate mudcake at your 8th birthday. We grew up together!”

“10 years is a long time.”

“I’m still me, Brendon.”

“If you were still you, you would’ve called!”

He frowned. “Can we not do this on Kaitlyn’s birthday?”

I scowled and folded my arms again. 

He walked through the house and called for Kaitlyn.

I reluctantly led him to Kaitlyn’s room. 

She was sitting on her bed, drawing.

“Hey Kat.” Damien smiled, sitting down beside her. 

“Oh, h-hi...

“10 minutes Damien.” I reminded him sternly, sitting down on the desk chair. 

Kaitlyn was pretty quiet, and it was easy to see she was uncomfortable.

“Happy birthday.” He smiled, placing the gift bag on the bed. 

“Th-thanks…”

“It's not enough to replace lost time….” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “But It's something.”

“O-Okay…” She sniffled, hesitantly pulling it closer to her.

“Sarah told me how smart you were, so I figured a good student would need a good school laptop.” He smiled. 

“Thanks.” She smiled slightly.

The next 5 minutes or so were pretty average. He asked her about school and her hobbies and she seemed to be pretty into it. It was going great until Sarah got home and suggested he join us for dinner. 

“Well, I’d love to join you.” He smiled.

I glared at Sarah. 

She just smiled. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“You too Sarah.” He nodded. 

“How have you been?”

“Pretty good.” He Smiled. “I just got a new place in the city.”

“That’s cool.”

He nodded. “What have you guys been up to?”

“Not a lot, just carrying on as normal.”

“That's good.” He smiled. “Who else is coming tonight?”

“Ryan’s coming, with his kids.”

“Oh cool! I haven't met them yet. He's told me all about them though.”

“They’re the sweetest things.”

He smiled. “I can imagine.”

“I’m sure they’ll love you.”

He chuckled. “Maybe.”

“Do you want a drink Damien?”

“Sure.” He smiled. “That’d be nice.”

We all went out to the kitchen. I sat silently and listened to the conversation. 

“I'd love to spend more time with you guys.” Damien said.

“T-That sounds nice.” Kaitlyn smiled.

He smiled and nodded.

I growled slightly.

Damien’s smile faltered.

“Stop being a child, Brendon.” Sarah told me crossly.

“How am I being a child?!”

“Just stop. He’s a lovely man, and he’s welcome around here any time.”

“Fine.  _ I’ll _ be the one to leave.”

“Dad!” Kaitlyn whined. “Please don’t be a meanie on my birthday!”

“I don’t care right now.” I grumbled, walking out the front door.

I went to go to my car, but Ryan pulled up beside me. “Hey Brendon!”

“Bye.” I mumbled, just starting to pace down the footpath.

“Hey! Wait up!” He chased after me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” I muttered.

“Come on Bren. Talk to Ryan.” He sounded like back when we were dating, like he actually, genuinely cared.

“It doesn’t matter.” I sighed, stopping in my tracks. “I’m just being childish.”

“Talk to me.” He took my hand. “Come on.”

I sniffled. “I-It’s just, Damien’s back a-and Sarah’s j-just treating him l-like the greatest p-person on e-earth.”

“In your house?”

I nodded tearfully.

“Okay. Come on, I’ll be on your side. Let’s go in and sort this out peacefully.”

I shook my head. “Th-there’s no way to m-make it peaceful.”

“Of course there is.” He led me back to the house. “I’ll sort it out. Don’t worry.”

“O-Okay…”

He walked me back inside and cleared his throat.

I was silent and sort of tried to make myself smaller.

“Oh, hello Ryan.” Damien smiled.

“Hello.” He murmured.

Kaitlyn hugged him. “Hey Ryan!”

“Hey little Urie. Where’s Sarah?”

“In the bathroom.”

“Oh, okay…”

“Can I help?” Damien asked.

“Maybe after.”

“Okay.” He smiled and nodded. “How are you?”

“I’m alright, just, don’t worry about me right now.”

“Oh, okay. Where are your kids?”

“I don’t know.” He sighed. He went to the bathroom and knock on the door.

“Just a sec!” Sarah called.

He sat outside the door and waited.

Eventually Sarah came back out.

“We need to talk.” Ryan stated.

“Yeah?” She responded. “What about?”

“About things. Now, let’s sit down.”

She sat down nervously.

“Now, Brendon’s upset, like really upset.”

“About Damien?”

“Yes.”

“He’s not that bad Ryan. He’s actually really sweet.”

“Yes, but he’s caused Brendon 10 years of pure torture!”

“He’s trying to make things right.”

“This isn’t one of those things that can be easily fixed. You should know this!”

“I do! I can’t deny him the right to see his daughter though!”

Ryan sighed. “Fine, you have fun with Damien. Waverly, Morgan, come on. We’re going home. You can come too Brendon, if you want.”

I got up to leave and Damien sighed. “I’ll go.”

“No, Sarah wants you here.”

Ryan took Damien outside to talk, and Sarah tried to apologise to me.

“I-It doesn’t m-matter.” I sniffled.

She hugged me. “It does matter Bren. I’m sorry.”

“I should j-just get over i-it.”

“No, no, it’s okay.”

“No i-it’s not! I-I’m just stupid!” I cried.

Ryan came back in. “It’s okay Bren. We’ve talked. He’s gone.”

“Aww…” Kaitlyn mumbled.

I just ran away and raced into the bedroom. The longer I kept crying, the worse I felt, so I kept crying and I just kept spiralling down.

Ryan came in and sat down beside me. “Shhh. Deep breaths Brendon. It’s okay.”

I tried to follow his direction and it took a while to regain some control.

“I-I’m s-sorry D-Dad.” Kaitlyn whispered.

“I-It’s not your f-fault.” I stammered.

“Happy birthday little Urie.” Ryan smiled.

“Oh, th-thanks…”

“Did Wavey give you your present?”

“Oh, yeah.”

He smiled. “Good. Come on Bren, are you feeling good enough to come out?”

“I-I don’t know…”

“Let’s just try. You can come back if you’re not okay.”

“O-okay…” I whispered.

We went back out to the kitchen. Morgan ran and wrapped Ryan in a hug.

“Hey Morgie.” Ryan smiled.

“Daddy! You disappeared! Like poof!”

Ryan giggled. “Yeah, I did. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. When are we going to get num nums?”

“Soon Morgie, soon.”

Kaitlyn was sitting silently in the corner.

“Do you want to go out Kaitlyn?” Ryan asked.

“I-If D-Dad’s f-feeling b-better?” She whispered.

“Where do you want to go?”

“M-Mom said p-pizza.”

“Do you want pizza?”

“I d-don’t know…”

“What do you feel like?”

“I d-don’t mind.”

“It’s your choice little Urie.”

She shook her head. “N-No, it’s o-okay.”

I frowned. “Pick something.”

“I-I don’t c-care?”

“You should little Urie. It’s your birthday.”

“I-I don’t know!” She panicked.

“It’s okay. You just choose what  _ you  _ want to eat.”

“I-I don’t know what I want!”

“Just think about it, okay?”

“O-Okay…”

She didn’t come up with any answers for a good 20 minutes.

“Let’s just go for a drive and see what we find.”

“A-Alright…” She murmured.

We all got into two cars and ended up stopping at some random restaurant.

“This looks good.” I smiled.

Kaitlyn nodded unsurely. 

We got a table and Brendon still looked nervous, Nicole looked half-asleep, Waverly looked sad, Morgan looked hungry and Sarah just looked worried.

I handed the menus around to everyone.

Waverly handed hers straight back to me.

“Thanks.” I murmured.

She pulled her phone out and zoned out of the conversation.

“What do you want?” I asked everyone.

_ Not hungry.  _ Nicole’s iPad announced.

“You have to eat Nicole.”

_ Not here. Not in public. _

I sighed. “Okay, but at home, alright?”

She nodded slightly.

“Sarah, what do you want?”

“I’ll have the fish.”

“Kaitlyn?”

“S-Same.”

“Okay, Morgan?”

“The nuggets and chips!”

“Okay then.”

Food was ordered and we all sang happy birthday to Kaitlyn, who seemed awfully embarrassed.

“Stop!” She giggled.

We finished the song and started the fifteen claps. Her face was bright red.

“You guys are so loud!”

“It’s your birthday little Urie!” Ryan smiled.

“I know.” She giggled. “But not everyone needs to know that.”

“We should have cake!” Morgan yelled quite loudly.

“No!” Kaitlyn curled up.

“I have one at home.” Sarah said quietly. “Shhh.”

Kaitlyn was really quiet.

“What’s up little worm?” I asked.

“I don’t like attention…”

“It’s your birthday. Don’t worry, it’ll all be over tomorrow.”

“I-I guess…”

After dinner we went home and Sarah gave everyone cake. Kaitlyn didn’t want any, and just sat quietly at the table.

_ I’m going to bed. _ Nicole announced.

“You sure bub? It’s only 7:30.”

_ I’m sure. _

“Alright. Night Nic. Sleep well.”

_ You too.  _

“She seems so glum.” Ryan noted once she’d left.

“Yeah…” I sighed.

“What’s wrong with her Daddy?” Morgan asked.

“She’s just sad because she’s sick.”

“But she’s not coughing like when I was sick!”

“It's a different sick Morgie.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry though.”

“Okay.” He mumbled.

“What’s wrong Morgie?”

“Is it the same sick as my Mommy?”

“Uh, no...not really.”

“Okay…”

“Let’s just sit down for a bit.”

We sat down on the couch to watch a movie. My phone started ringing, so I headed outside. 

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey Bren! It’s Damien.”

I sighed. “What do you want?”

“First, I want to apologise for earlier. That was unfair of me, and I’m sorry if I hurt you. I just wanted to see my daughter. Second, I’d like to apologise for what I’m about to suggest.”

“I don’t like where this is going.”

“No, you won’t. But I’m going to say it.”

“It might be better if you don’t at this point Damien. You’re already on some pretty thin ice.”

He took a deep breath. “I want shared custody.”

“No way in hell.”

“She’s  _ my  _ child Brendon.”

“And  _ you  _ abandoned her!”

“I’m just letting you know. We can work this out between us, or I’m going to take it to court.”

“You’re not getting her, at all.”

“I’m not trying to take her from you Brendon, I know you’re family now. Thus the  _ shared  _ custody.”

“Why do you even want her?”

“She’s my daughter Brendon. I want to be there for her, I want to be her father. You’d want the same thing for Parker.”

“Don’t talk about him! You’re not allowed to talk about him!”

“Okay, okay, sorry. I won’t anymore. I’m just saying Bren, I want to be a big part of her life. She’s my kid, after all.”

“Even if you do take her to court, you won’t win.”

“Oh, I reckon I will.”

“You abandoned her, faked your own death, even. You’d be arrested before you get her back.”

“It’s actually totally legal to fake your death.” He noted. “Plus, you do realise that if you’d called, you’d know?”

“Why would I try and call a dead person?!”

“Listen to their voicemail or something? I don’t know. I read that a lot of people do it online.”

“Well that’s just have made me worse Damien.”

He sighed. “Anyway, we’re getting off topic. So, are you going to work this out peacefully or am I going to take legal action?”

“You’re not getting her.”

“I guess I’ll see you in court then.”

The call ended with a few beeps.


	42. Chapter 41 - Stay With Me

“Hello Mr and Mrs Urie.” Our lawyer greeted.

I shook her hand. “Hello.”

“Alright, let’s talk. This is a bit of a messy case since you both seem to have information on the other.”

I nodded and sat down. “We just need to make sure that we win.”

“That’s why I’m here. Anyway, I can’t tell you his arguments, I’ve just got to help you with your own. We can’t add any information against him once it’s been submitted, and we need to put it in for revision on Friday.”

Sarah nodded. “Let’s get to work.”

“Let’s start with why you should keep Kaitlyn.”

“She’s our daughter!” 

“Yes, but that’s not a strong point, considering he has biological relations.”

“She’s lived in our household for almost a year and we have a stronger relationship with her. She views us as her parents, not him.”

“Okay, anything else?”

“He abandoned her!”

The lawyer sighed. “Look, that’s a small point, but the fact is, you didn’t take her in for 9 years, so the jury could say you abandoned her too. So we’re not going to use that as much.”

“But that’s like, the biggest point! And I couldn’t take her in because on my mental status!”

“That’s also not going to work in your favour.” She sighed. “That’s going to be his main point for sure.”

“But he caused it!”

“That doesn’t change the fact that it can impact on your parenting abilities.”

“That’s so unfair!”

“I know. That’s why  _ we  _ need to get some strong points down.”

“Like what?”

“I’m trusting you to tell me.”

“He just faked his death, and then she went to a group home which contributed to her own mental disorders.”

She wrote some notes down. “What else?”

We brainstormed for a good half hour, and came up with some pretty great points.

“Well, I’ll be back tomorrow, so keep thinking.”

She nodded. “Of course. I’ll start writing everything up.”

“Goodbye.”

Sarah held my hand all the way out to the car.

“I hope we can win.”

“Me too.” She breathed.

“We have good enough points, right?”

“I hope so.”

What if we don't!?”

“L-Let’s not think about that Bren.”

“Oh god...we’re gonna lose her!” I cried.

Sarah just pulled me into a hug. “W-We c-can’t give up w-while w-we have a c-chance.”

I kept crying.

When we got home, Sarah sighed. “We have to tell her now.”

“O-Okay…”

Kaitlyn was sitting at the kitchen table, doing some study.

“W-We need to t-talk little worm…”

She looked up. “O-Oh, okay.”

I sat down and sniffled. “Your Dad is t-taking us to c-court for c-custody over y-you…”

“W-WhaT?!”

“W-We just had to t-talk to a lawyer.”

“I d-don’t wanna l-leave you g-guys!”

“We don’t want you to leave either.”

She wrapped me in a hug and started to cry.

“We’re going t-to try a-as hard as w-we can...b-but he h-has stuff th-that could make us lose.”

“I d-don’t want to l-leave you g-guys!”

“We’re t-trying.”

“W-When is the c-court case?”

“Next week.”

She started to panic.

“It’ll be okay.”

“N-No, I n-need to s-stay with you g-guys!”

“We’ll sort it out.”

“I-I’m s-scared!”

“I know, I know. It'll be okay.”

She kept crying for a little while.

“You’ve gotta help us though. If anything can help you stay with us, make sure you tell us.”

“I d-don’t know!” She cried.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. We should win.”

“I-I’m s-scared D-Dad!”

“I know Kaitlyn. So am I….”

She wouldn’t leave my side for the rest of the night.

“I love you little worm.”

“I l-love you too Dad.”

“I won’t let him take you away.”

“T-Thanks.”

I kept her held tight in my arms as we watched a movie.

“What do you want for dinner?” Sarah asked.

“Chicken.” Kaitlyn murmured.

“Course bub.”

She sniffled and snuggled back up to me. She started crying again.

“Shh. It’s okay little worm. We’re not going to let anything happen.”

“I-I don’t want anyone e-else to be my Dad. I-I only want you!”

“I’m the only one who will  _ be  _ your Dad.”

“O-Okay.”

“I promise.”

She sniffled, but quickly burst into tears again.

I pulled her into a hug. “Shhh. It’s okay.”

“I-I’m so scared!”

“You don’t have to be scared. I’ll look after you.”

“B-But what if he wins!?”

“He won’t.”

“B-But!” She panicked.

“We’ll never stop fighting. If he wins, then we fight again and again until we win.”

“O-Okay…”

“Don’t worry about it too much.”

“B-But I am!”

“I’m here for you little worm. Please don’t worry. We’ll win.”

She kept crying.

I sighed and just hugged her.

“I’m sorry, I’m scared.”

“It’s okay. Let’s go have dinner.”

Dinner was quiet, and Nicole still refused to eat.

“Nic, it’s this or a feeding tube.” Sarah warned.

_ I don’t want either. _

“You’re going to have to make a choice.”

_ “Feeding tube.” _

Sarah sighed. “Of course. Well, I’ll sort that out tomorrow, but right now, you need to eat.”

_ “No.” _

“I will spoon feed you if you don’t eat.”

_ Don’t even try. _

Sarah lifted the spoon. “Open.”

I noticed Nicole clenching her fist.

“Nic, open.”

_ Stop! _

Sarah pushed the spoon in, and Nicole immediately started choking.

As she choked, tears started falling from her eyes.

Sarah sighed and pulled the spoon out. “Nic, you need to eat for me.”

She shook her head.

“Yes, you do. The doctor is already saying that you’re not eating enough.”

_ That’s because I choke on everything. _

_ “No,  _ that’s because you refuse to eat. And, you need a higher calorie intake than the average person.”

_ I’ll just starve to death. At least it's not the disease. _

Sarah shoved another spoon into her mouth.

She started choking and crying again.

“Bub, I’m sorry, but you need to eat, and if this is the only way, then we’re going to have to do it.”

_ I’ll eat, I promise! _

Sarah passed her the fork.

She took a few bites, her eyes still teary.

“Thanks bub.” Sarah smiled slightly.

_ It’s okay. _

After dinner, she retreated to her room, once again, and closed the door.

I sighed and just flopped onto the couch.

Kaitlyn sat down beside me silently.

“Hey little worm.”

“H-Hey.”

I wrapped her in a hug.

“I l-love you Dad.”

“I love you too little worm.”

“P-Please don’t l-let anyone take me.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

“T-Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“C-Can we listen to s-some music?”

“Yeah, sure.”

We turned the stereo on and she smiled. “Thanks Dad.”

“No problem.”

Nicole came out and turned it off again.

“Nicole…” I sighed. “We’re trying to have fun.”

_ Some of us don’t find loud music fun. _

“Some of us don’t find moodiness fun.”

_ Some of us have terminal illnesses that cause moodiness. _

“Just try to be happy.”

_ How? _

“I don’t know!” I snapped. “But I’m sick of you being sad all the time!”

She teared up again.

“Just, whatever!” I yelled, racing into the studio.

“Dad!” Kaitlyn chased me.

“Go away!”

“No!”

“Yes!” I growled.

She shook her head.

“I swear to god Kaitlyn.”

“I just w-want to spend time w-with you in c-case I h-have to leave y-you…”

I sighed. “Now’s probably not a good time to see me.”

“I’ll j-just wait out h-here.”

“No, come in.”

She sat silently in the corner.

“Wanna learn an instrument?”

She grinned slightly. “Yeah.”

“What do you want to learn?”

She pointed at the drumkit.

I grinned. “Awesome. Sit on the stool.”

She sat down and giggled. “This is going to be loud.”

“Eh, whatever. So, you hold the drumstick like this.” I showed her my hand.

“Oh, okay.” She fixed her grip.

“Okay, good. So, here we have the snare, the floor tom, the bass drum, the ride cymbal, the crash symbol, the hi-hat and the middle tom.”

“S-Should I be writing this down?”

“No, it’s not important.”

“Okay.”

“So, just try to keep a beat on the bass drum, with the foot pedal so just go, 1, 2, 3, 4 then repeat.”

She was pretty good at that. “Is this good?”

“Perfect.”

She grinned.

“Alright, now start drumming a random repeating rhythm on the snare.”

“Uh… okay…” she started to play, very very lightly.

“The drums aren’t a quiet instrument. You’ve got to be nice and loud.”

“Oh, okay. Like this?” She hit it slightly harder.

“Yeah, like that.”

“Okay, awesome.” She did that for a while.

“You’re awesome at this little worm!”

She giggled. “Thanks Dad.”

“Probably better than me, even.”

She shook her head. “Nobody is better than  _ you  _ Dad.”

“I don’t know. You’re giving me a run for my money.”

“I can play two drums?”

“I’m not even good at drums!”

“You’re the best!”

“If you say so.”

“So what do I do now?”

“Keep banging and hope it sounds good.”

She giggled. “Alright.”

I started mucking around on my guitar while she was playing.

“How are you so good at music Dad?”

“I’m not.”

“You’re incredible at it!”

I chuckled. “Maybe.”

“Yes!”

“Okay then.”

We played for a while, before Sarah came in with a panicked expression.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I n-need h-help.”

“What with?”

“I just found Nicole in the bathroom with bloodied wrists.”

“Oh god.” I ran a hand through my hair and stood up.

She walked me back into the house and to the bathroom.

“Nic, open the door.”

I could hear her crying inside.

“Please, I want to help.”

Sarah gave the door an odd shove with her shoulder, and it clicked open.

N-No, d-don’t come in!” She cried.

We went in. I felt ill at the sight.

She kept crying, sobbing even and curled up in the back corner.

Sarah sighed and gently pressed a towel to her wrist. “We need to go to the hospital.”

Nicole shook her head tearfully.

“Come on.” Sarah helped her up. “Let’s go.”

“No!” She tried to say.

“We need to get this cleaned up speedster.” I sighed. “Come on.”

She kept trying to pull away.

“Let’s go Nic.” Sarah pulled her out of the bathroom.

“No!” She cried.

“Yes.”

“I-I’m fine!”

“No, you’re not. Look at your arms Nic. You’re not.”

“They’ll be fine!”

“No, they won’t. They need stitches.”

She shook her head and raced over to the sink. She just tried to wash her arms off.

“That’s making it worse!” I pulled her away. “Come on, let’s go.”

“It’s cleaning it up!”

“No, it’s making it bleed more. Let’s go.”

“N-No! It’s fine!”

I ended up carrying her to the car.

“I don’t need help!”

“Yes, you do Nicole.” Sarah sighed.

She kept crying in the backseat.

“It’s okay Nic, we’ll get it sorted out.”

“I-It hurts so much!”

“I know, I know, we’re almost there.”

She cried more, sobbing indistinguishable words as she clutched her arm in pain.

By the time we got there, she was starting to stumble around and was getting faint.

I helped her inside and the doctor called us in.

As soon as she sat down, she passed out. It was really quite terrifying.

She was given a bed and the doctor stitched her arm up, before applying a dressing and giving her a drip.

“She should be okay, she just might be sick when she wakes up.”

“Thanks doctor.” Sarah nodded.

“No problems.”

He left us alone for a while, before another doctor came in.

“Hello.” I greeted.

“Hello Mr Urie.”

“What’s going on? Are you just checking up on her?”

“We’re moving her to the psych ward.”

“O-Oh…” I stammered nervously.

“She needs the help.” He sighed.

“I-I guess…”

He nodded. “If it gets worse, she will probably have to be institutionalised.”

That caused me to burst into tears.

Sarah sighed and pulled me into a hug. “Thanks Doc.”

“Sh-she can’t go to a-an institution! Th-they’re so mean!”

“Brendon, calm down.”

“I c-can’t! They’re g-gonna take h-her away a-and I’ll be a-all alone again!”

“No, Bren. It’s going to be okay.”

“No i-it won’t! Th-they’ll take her away, a-and you away a-and then he’s g-gonna get K-Kaitlyn!”

“Why on earth would they take  _ me  _ Brendon?”

“I don’t know?!”

“Nobody is taking me away. I’m not going. Nicole is going to be out of the hospital soon, and we have the best lawyer to make sure that Kaitlyn isn’t taken.”

“B-But i-it’s gonna f-fail and then y-you’ll leave me a-and then I’ll j-just be a-alone to d-die!”

“No, Bren. No, it’s not.”

“Yes it is!” I sobbed.

Nicole started to wake up.

I kept crying, and ended up having a panic attack. I didn’t even know why. I could see she was fine.

“Bren! Bren calm down!”

“I-I can’t!” I wheezed. Tears were flowing freely now.

Sarah sat me up and gently rubbed my back until I managed to catch my breath.

“I-I’m sorry.” I stammered.

“It’s okay Bren.” Sarah assured.

“H-how are you feeling Nic?”

She shrugged, looking down at the bed.

“Better than before?”

She was silent.

I frowned and stopped asking questions.

“They’re going to move you to the psych ward bub…” Sarah whispered.

Her face fell further.

“It’ll be okay though.” Sarah wrapped her in a hug.

She started silently crying.

“Shh… It’s going to be okay Nic.”

She kept crying.

I joined the hug. “It won’t be for long speedster. Don’t worry.”

Her tears eventually turned to sniffles.

The doctor came back and moved her into the new room. It was small, and kind of bland. Similar to the ones I stayed in when I was admitted.

It was pretty easy to tell that she was still miserable.

“It’ll be okay bub.” Sarah assured.

She shrugged.

“I brought your blanket.”

She smiled very slightly.

Sarah smiled back and passed it over. “It won’t be too bad bub, I promise.”

She shrugged.

“You’ll be out of here in no time.”

She shrugged again.

The doctor knocked on the door. “Visiting hours are up.”

“Oh…” I frowned.

Nicole started crying and clung onto Sarah.

“Shh, it’s okay bub.”

“D-Dooooooooon’t lea-lea-leave!” She managed to stutter.

“We have to Nic.”

She kept crying and holding onto Sarah’s arm.

“It’s okay.”

“D-D-Don’tttttttttt!”

“We have to.”

Eventually we managed to leave, but the guilt hung over us as we walked to the car.

“Leaving always makes me feel awful.”

“Mmm.” Sarah murmured in agreement.

“There’s nothing we can do, I guess.”

“Yeah…”

We got home and I still felt the guilt lingering.

“Where’s Nic?” Kaitlyn asked.

“Hospital.”

“Oh no…”

“She should be okay.”

“G-Good.”


	43. Chapter 42 - The Verdict

******Kaitlyn’s Point Of View*******

I was sitting in a big room, all by myself. No one even came to make sure I was still here, but I was just getting scared at this point.

In the same building, right now, was the court case deciding where I was going to be spending my life. It was nerve wracking, and I was almost feeling physically ill.

I started thinking about what life would be like without Brendon, Sarah and Nicole and I started panicking and crying.

I didn’t have much with me, but Mom had made sure I’d brought my sketchbook. In an effort to get my emotions out, I lifted my pencil, and began to draw.

About halfway through my picture, a security guard came in. “They need you in the courtroom for another report.”

I nodded hesitantly and followed him through.

He took me to the courtroom, and led me to a stand right in the middle, where everyone was looking at me.

I was shaking slightly and looked out over the court.

“Please state your name again for the record.” The judge stated.

“K-Kaitlyn Grace Urie.”

The judge nodded. “You are currently living with Mr and Mrs Urie, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Since you were last here, Mr Priss was accused of abandoning you. Can you confirm or deny this statement?”

“C-Confirm?” I whispered.

“So he  _ did _ abandon you?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“Can you recount the day in which this occurred?”

“M-My 5th b-birthday.”

“And the date was?”

“I-I’m not s-sure…”

The judge nodded. “Can you recall any events leading up to the abandonment?”

“W-We were in a c-crash.”

“Do you have  _ any _ specific details?”

“T-The car crashed into us and I t-think my r-real Mom died… but I c-can’t be sure, and then D-Damien hid a-a-and faked his death, and D-Dad was u-unconcious, and t-then social services t-took me a-away.”

“Anything else?”

She shook her head.

“Without a date or evidence of the crash occurring, this piece of evidence is invalid.”

Mom and Dad’s lawyer held a piece of paper in the air. “Your honour, the date was the 22nd of April 2007, and the records are written here.”

“Please hand the evidence to the bailiff for inspection.”

She did so.

“Please lead the defendant off the stand.” The judge stated.

The security guard came and led me back to the little room.

“W-Why can’t I w-watch the case?” I sniffled.

“Proceedings.” He answered, before shutting the door.

I frowned and just went back to drawing.

It was another couple of hours until he returned.

“D-Do they need me again?”

“The sentencing is being handed down.”

“O-Oh…”

He led me through the door and back to the stand.

I stood nervously at the stand, and gripped tightly onto the sides.

The judge looked over the court. “Both sides have laid down reasonable arguments today, and this decision was not easy to make.”

I found myself getting more and more nervous.

“Mr Damien Priss. You are the child’s biological parent, and in most cases, you would be granted custody. However, you abandoned your child to grow up in state care so you could go and life by yourself, and then you expect to come back at a random time and gain custody. You will not be gaining custody today.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.

“She’s my daughter!” He argued.

He turned to Brendon and Sarah. “You two have been her legal guardians for the last year, and it is proven you have quite the bond. However, Brendon, you do not have a stable career, or is your mental health stable. Sarah, you do not have a job, and you have history of leaving your family in the time of need. You will be not be gaining custody.”

“W-What?” I stammered, starting to shake.

He sighed and turned to me. “Pack your bags, kid. You’re going back to the group home.”


End file.
